Wedding Whimsy - A Date (Finally)

You know when someone asks you a simple question, really simple, like "Oh, you're engaged? When are you getting married?" and you are instantly annoyed because you don't know the answer? So annoyed that you really feel like this person has invaded your privacy and should be slapped for it? Oh, no? That is just me? Oh, ok.

Since Lefty and I have announced our engagement everyone and their mother (literally) has been asking us when, when, when (???) and we have been ignoring the question. Seriously, right after someone gets engaged is so not the time to ask when they are getting married. One- you may not be invited to the shindig and two, if they wanted you to know AND they actually had a date, um, they would tell you, right? Right.

I know that a few people have been worrying themselves crazy about the date/time/plan for our wedding. Well, relax your minds people, we have settled on a date. We are getting married on Monday, December 23. We picked a Monday because we are going to have a very (VERY) small City Hall ceremony. When I type VERY small I really want you to read only our parents, siblings and the officiant will be in the room with us.

I know that this will upset some people- but let's not worry, we have planned ahead for that also. We are having a holiday/engagement/reception party on December 21 (time/place/details to be announced later). Yes, you read that right... it is BEFORE the wedding. This is where we will be inviting some of our friends and family members. We have also found a place to hold this lovely shindig (yay!!) so we are kicking things into high gear (just in enough time, since we have less than 8 months to put this whole thing on!) We have planned to keep both affairs very small - on purpose. And nontraditional - on purpose. I will not be headed down the aisle in a long, poufy white dress. I won't make Lefty wear a tux. We aren't following socially accepted wedding habits (hence having the reception FIRST). We are really going to make this wedding and celebration exactly what we want, which is exactly how every wedding SHOULD be.

I am sure that I will update the blog with our progress and hopefully I will post reviews on products that I try out in preparation for our two days of planned good times. Check out Instagram (hotblackbitter), Twitter (hotblackbitter) and the Facebook page for up to date updates! ;)


 

Soulful Saturday - Love Lost

To say that wedding planning is craziness AND a hot poker to the eye is putting it lightly. *Sigh* Creating a day for everyone ain't gonna happen, so Lefty and I have decided to have a kick ass engagement party (date pending) and a very small ceremony at City Hall (date also pending). That is how far we have gotten in two months. Eh, c'est la vie!

Thinking of wedding stuff has made me think about getting to this point in life. Love found and lost; love found and kept; starting a life together... finally leaving behind all the crazies that you have dated before this. So this week's Soulful Saturday is dedicated to the "love" we all thought we had before. Albums upon albums have been made about love lost (hello Adele, I am looking at your success over an album full of breakup baggage). Break up songs might be more profitable than weddings (and trust me friends, that is a LOT of money). Let's mix some new and old, shall we?

 Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

I have to admit that I love this song... mostly because this little leprechaun is the same height as me and I have been channeling his hair lately. Ok, ok- Bruno may be shorter than the average woman, but he is uber talented... just slightly overplayed on the radio stations. That is not his fault though, so he gets the first song. Bet he (and many others) wishes he was a better boyfriend (and a little taller). Oh, PS- The Voice is the best talent show on tv- take that American Idol (you suck).


Christina Perri - Crying 

A Roy Orbison cover? Yes, ma'am!! CP is wonderful! You probably know her from her other barn buster break up song Jar of Hearts. Guitar and singing? Winning combo and great song for this week. Sing it, girlie! :)



Mariah Carey - Without You

Curly haired Mariah. You know, before she turned into a crazy spaz. Thank God for a phase of real singing and no booty shorts and stripper shoes. Where did that go?



James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore 

British. Lovely Lyricist. Amazing.

**"I can't explain why it's not enough... I gave it all to you."**



Adele - Turning Tables

The QUEEN of the break up song (and fake lashes). I don't care who you are, Adele has written a song for your punk ass- revenge driven, sorrow filled, wanting you back. Whatever you need she has given it life- trust that! She is so far beyond amazing, it is sick and seriously, if someone thinks that she's not... they are a hater.

**I can't keep up with your turning tables; under your thumb, I can't breathe.**

College Sports & Modern Day Slavery?

I did not watch the National Championship College Basketball Game Monday night. Like many nights, I was at work... sigh. I'm working on getting a new job, but anyway-- I also didn't watch because if there is one person who loathes michigan more than me, I have not met them. Ok, maybe I have... she's my mother. I was glad to see that Louisville won (Yay!) Yes, so I wake up Tuesday afternoon (a second shift job will do that to you) and watched Facebook and Twitter timelines light up with references to college sports and slavery. Universities living on the backs of unpaid athletes. These poor, poor kids that are taken advantage of. Uh, no ma'ams... no sirs.

To say that I disagree would be putting it lightly-- too lightly. And I'll tell you why. I have a brother who will more than likely play college sports. Hell, one day, I may be watching him on tv. He plays basketball because he loves it. He knows that basketball could be the avenue to take him to a different kind of life. Trust me, the life he lives now is comfortable- new shoes, clothes, food (always... teenage boys, damn- no food is safe), private school; but a sport has the ability to elevate a very comfortable life to one where millions of dollars are on the table. He, like others, will manipulate his ability to play a sport to get closer to the possibility of a fabulous pay out. I see nothing wrong with that. Colleges and universities will use his ability to come closer and closer to millions of dollars in advertising, alumni contributions and team recognition. I see nothing wrong with that, either.

Student athletes are not allowed to have jobs. Ok, but they are compensated. They get free tuition, a free education, free food. Trust me, free food for teenage boys equals tons of money! And as a person who is beginning to pay back student loans (oh my god, I will be broke for life) believe me when I tell you a free education is nothing to scoff at. A free education is priceless. There is literally no amount that I could put on that. When you think for a moment that some of these athletes are taken from bad environments and given the chance to grow in their sport AND academically (often with FREE help, supplied BECAUSE they are athletes) maybe we should be a little more upset that these athletes do not take full advantage of the universities that give them these scholarships. Maybe we should be more upset about athletes leaving without college degrees vs. being mad at the universities for "pimping" these "poor students."

And yes, I KNOW the NCAA has rules against receiving money. I also know that athletes receive money... from all sources. We all know this game and the rules, don't we? This game brings up no semblance of slavery for me.


 

Our Relationship with Black Politicians

As I was perusing Facebook today, I came across a post about my city. Our Mayor, Michael Coleman, announced yesterday that Columbus is being honored as one of the most intelligent cities in the world and that there will be a free public celebration with community leaders... Ok, I was excited. How great that the city that I live in is being honored like that, right? Right?

 Clearly, I need to drink more haterade, so that I can be on the same level as other Facebookers. I mean, you should SEE some of the comments that were left on this announcement. It was so bad that I felt the need to comment on these people (obviously). There were the run of the mill "Congrats" which I guess I expected. Then there were the "April Fools" comments since it was posted on April 1. As I scrolled down, though, my heart began to sink and my anger began to rise. Who is shocked by that? No one? Ok, moving on.

I will quote the comments...

"it sure is april fools...if we were that intelligent we wouldn't keep electing this demonrat moron."

To be expected also... I think. I have never really grasped the reasoning behind liking a page on Facebook of someone you dislike, only to leave hate filled messages when they post something. Who has time for that? And really, why would you want to do that? Next one:

"Intelligent only because we have OSU, CCAD, CSCC, Franklin, ITT, DeVry in close proximity. However, they get educated and LEAVE because there's nothing here. Especially for the film, music, art community."

Also, to be expected... though this comment is incorrect. There are tons of arts and music to be had and made in Columbus. There are TONS of people who come here for school who fall in love with the city and never leave (Lefty, for example). And, I have to say, unlike Cleveland and Cincinnati and other bigger cities in Ohio, Columbus is booming with business, jobs, education and family friendly venues. I feel like I always have to defend where I grew up to people who have never been here, but if you live in Columbus and think it has nothing to offer my one question would be: Why don't you move? Be a part of the educated masses that "LEAVE because there's nothing here." Wouldn't we all be better off? I mean, you wouldn't have to take time out of your oh so busy day to leave ridiculous comments on the Mayor's Facebook page. Comments that 1 - probably won't hurt his feelings and 2 - he is NOT likely to read, since he is, you know, busy running the city.

Here is a funny one:

"Oh dear, I clearly haven't been factored into the intelligence measure." I chuckled when I read that!

And here is the kicker:

"The poor condition of Black African Americans in Columbus has a direct correlation to your leadership. There are still artificial barriers intentionally designed that deny Blacks access to city, county and state programs that dole our our tax dollars. City Council just gave $500,000 to TechColumbus, but did anyone ask to see their track record of funding Black African Americans? Black Entrepreneurs must leave Columbus and Ohio to achieve any success due to racist policies that Black Faces in High Places help to maintain. That's a dam shame!"

Ok, how do I say this without offending people? Oh, I don't- here goes: Seriously, what? Michael Coleman is NOT in charge of all Black people in Columbus, simply because he is Black. This guy wants to see the track record of funding for Black people--  I want to see the number of Black people who actually applied for funding and what they wanted funding for. Racist policies? Clearly this man has never lived in Chicago, where nepotism rules the roost; or some places in the South, where racist is overt and dangerous.

I have said this before and I will say it again- Black politicians cannot be looked at like they will/can "save" the Black race. That is ridiculous. Our community has problems, like any other. Those problems were not brought on by one person, so one person cannot solve them. Black or not. President, Mayor, City Counsel member, whomever. Some barriers that block Black people are self built. Having Black people in every part of government/leadership is not going to fix all that ails the Black community. At some point the Black community, or any other community that is having trouble, will have to realize that certain problems need a hands on approach. We cannot continue the attempts to pass the buck to Black politicians to fix "us." And, more importantly, if we have problems, why on Earth would we allow someone else to fix them? Problem solving for an individual starts on a personal level, right? If there is a mess and you want it cleaned up, you pick up a broom and some rags and get to cleaning, right? So, why then are we comfortable handing over the reins to one person to fix a problem that, ultimately, starts at home?

If there is no funding, where are the protests? If there is a history of unfair treatment, where are the marches? If there is an overabundance of violence in our community, where are the calls to the police? The cries for justice? The fight against the hoodlums? The fight against stereotypes? The fight for innocence? The passion for the betterment of our community? Where is it? Are you producing that fight, or waiting for a Black politician to give you the podium? What are you waiting for?