Friday, September 28, 2012

Yeah, I Don't Trust You

I work in a factory... for a company that will remain nameless. In this factory, I am bombarded with all kinds of people, every day. It is kind of weird. I mean, in an office setting you might have one or two people who are vastly different than everyone else... be it education, upbringing, etc. But in a factory environment, you have the possibility of standing next to someone who owns a farm, is a veteran, proud owner of a super serious gun collection, an avid hunter, a conservative, a liberal, a vegan. I mean, seriously, every walk of life, every extreme and all are very willing to talk about it (of course). I mostly don't mind most of my co-workers. I mean, we are there to make a product and I can actively ignore someone-- I am VERY good at that. However, I have run across some people at this job who deserve a humongous slap across the face... and what a better way to give it to them than on this blog. Who am I talking about? Below are just a few examples of people that I want to tell (very loudly) "um, yeah, I don't trust you."

 Perfume/Cologne: Dude, we work in a factory. Seriously? You should not smell like you are headed to the club. I should not choke when you walk by. Who the fuck are you trying to impress? It is called take a shower, put on deodorant and bring your ass to work. All that extra... keep it.

Camel Toe: Yes we wear uniforms. Yes we can request a bigger size. Yes, you should do that if I can see your heart beat through your pants. How uncomfortable is that? I mean seriously... GROSS!!! Ladies, I should not be able to see your labia through your clothes. Guys, I should not be able to see the outline of your penis. Get it together.

 Long Fingernails: even outside of the factory environment, long fingernails is severely disgusting, but long, grease filled, ragged fingernails make me want to vomit. If I can't look at your hands without almost losing my breakfast, I don't trust you.

"Mean Girls" Phenom: Um, reliving your broken hearted high school days at work is a no no. I don't care if you were the lonely nerd walking the halls or the cheerleader who was fucking the quarterback- this is a job. A job we all have to do and taking out your feelings on people around you; talking shit; acting like it is your way or the highway... let's all be better than that.

Gossiper: yuck, grow up. WE all know that if you talk shit TO us you are probably talking shit ABOUT us. Please join the camel toe lady at the end of the line.

The Know It All: If you feel it necessary to tell me how to do everything, yet you have had the same job for 11 years and have not moved up in the company, never had a promotion, never gotten a raise, SHUT UP. Take your own advice and do something with your life. Know that you might know it all... but I don't trust you.



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