Saturday, October 22, 2011

Soulful Saturday - Babyface

Unlike last week, there are some songs that Babyface shouldn't sing... like every fast song he has ever sung. BUT, every slow song that he has come from his lips has been SO beautiful. OMG, I still remember the first time I saw the video for Whip Appeal... are you freaking kidding me!?! WOW. I wanted to be one of those video girls. HE.IS.AMAZING. Seriously. Amazing. No to mention that he is a sweet midwestern boy, who grew up just three hours from my hometown in a small place named Indianapolis. Yes, that DOES mean I automatically love him. Without further adieu...

Whip Appeal
*When we go to work, how the day seems so long. Only thing we think about, can't wait we get home.
*We got a way of talking... and it is better than words.
*No one does it like me and no one but you has that kind of whip appeal on me.

Everytime I Close My Eyes
*Girl, it's been a long, long time coming, but I know that it's been worth the wait.
*It feels like springtime in winter. It feels like Christmas in June. It feels like heaven has opened up it's gates for me and you.
*Everytime I close my eyes I thank the Lord that I've got you and you've got me too.

When Can I See You Again
*When does "you'll get over it" begin?
*When does my some day begin?
*What if I am still am not truly over? What am I supposed to do then?

Someone to Love (With my boyfriend, Jon B.)
* You came to me in my time of need. When I needed you, you were there for me.

Never Keeping Secrets
*So I'm never keeping secrets and I'm never telling lies- I wanna make it up to you.
*I only want to be with you.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Where Are The Parents: Amber Cole

I have taken a small break from blogging for the last few days, after attending the funeral of a friend. To say that it has been a rough week is an understatement and I am just catching up on some things… so the blogs will probably be plentiful. First up: Amber Cole.
For those of you who don’t know, Amber Cole is a 14 year old girl who was videotaped giving her ex boyfriend oral sex outside of their school. Supposedly, she did not know that she was being videotaped… and she engaged in the act in order to save her “relationship” with this boy. At this point, the talk is that she is on suicide watch. I have not seen the video, but I have seen photos. Oh, I have so much to say. So, I am going to break this up into two entries; one entry about this situation itself and one about cyber-bullying. Here we go:

I can NOT believe that Amber Cole got on her knees- outside the school doors- and serviced some dude. I can NOT believe that the video went viral, and I can NOT believe that people are so nonchalant about this situation. Listen, I have written several times about how we need to embrace our children and show them the RIGHT way to conduct themselves and this child illustrates exactly what I am talking about. I am mad at her—I am. That type of behavior is unacceptable, not only for 14 year olds, but for EVERYone. Hey- I will always advocate for grown people to do whatever they like. If you have the consent of the other adult that is participating and you are not doing it in my bed, in my face PLEASE do it! If your actions aren’t hurting anyone, I don’t care. But Amber is not the age of majority, she is not an adult and all adults who were sharing the video of her on her knees, distributed child pornography. Yes you did, you simple bastards. I am mad at Amber, but I am more upset the adults that surround her.
Something is missing from that girl’s life. Somehow she has made it 14 years thinking that the only way that she can “keep a man” at 14 is to suck his dick at school in front of his friends as they snicker and tape her. What the hell is wrong with this picture? There are tons of people on youtube defending her and saying that they don’t think that we should blame her- we should. They don’t think we should blame her parents- we should. They don’t think this is an epidemic- it is. We should blame her because there is not one person who thinks that what she did was ok—well, no smart, halfway thinking person. But, if I was to allot some percentage of blame, hers would be about 5%. The rest falls on her parents and society. Now, it is true enough that we ALL have gotten away with some stuff that our parents don’t know about. We have all done some questionable things, right? I have. HOWEVER, who the fuck is parenting this girl? When I was growing up (shit, and now, if I am being completely truthful) I knew I was the shit. I own rooms when I walk in. I could be the only Black person, the only woman, the only ANYthing and the other people in that room will respect me. Point blank, period. The fact that this little girl clearly does not have someone telling her that she is worth more than a quick dick suck- outside- in full view of everyone else, is a travesty. Where the fuck ARE her parents? Where is her mother? A grandma? An auntie? Someone to tell her that at 14 you will have several other boyfriends so if this ONE douchebag is trying to get you to suck his dick for a CHANCE that he would take you back, the correct answer to him is: “fuck you and your little dick!” If her parents are not capable, then someone else should be taking this girl under their wing—IMMEDIATELY.

You may ask how society is at fault. I mean some of y’all are putting on sad faces all over the web, talking about how this little girl is a victim and it is just so sad that she felt she had to go down this path. Spare me. Society, as a whole, is to blame for this event. Collectively we glorify hoe-like behavior. We support “superhead” writing a book about her conquests, on this blog you saw anonymous people coming to the defense of Fantasia when I called her a homewrecker (which, she still is), shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and other reality shows are hits—I mean really, what is Kim Kardashian famous for? Being a hoe and getting fucked on tape by sorry ass Ray J. Yet we embrace her. Drama filled shit like the Real Housewives and Basketball Wives stream into our tvs at unprecedented numbers. Music is being pumped into our kids-- songs calling women bitches and whores, calling men the n word, advocating for the hustling lifestyle and not valuing education... and what they hear/see is exactly what they are giving us. I remember when Jerry Springer was the raunchiest thing that was on tv. Now some of these shows give them a run for their money. Nicki Minaj has surgery enhanced curves, singers come on stage half dressed. Lil Wayne has so many baby mamas I lost count, there are loads of children and minimal commitment and these are the superstars of the time. We need to tell our children that pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen when you are sexually active. There are diseases, there are cell phones that record the fucked up shit you do, and there are sick assholes that will pass it along online. We need to talk to our kids, instead of sending them out to the world super na├»ve about everything and easily eaten alive by the dirty bastards of our communities. We need to be examples. Like-- not bringing every guy you are fucking around your kids, not having child after child with several women, like wearing condoms, respecting our elders, etc. We, as a society, are selling out our children to the highest bidder—and getting it thrown in our face repeatedly. If we aren’t careful we will have a whole generation of women that don’t respect themselves, or demand it from those surrounding them. A generation of men who do not hold their counterparts in high esteem and more children to perpetuate the problem.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Soulful Saturday - Luther Vandross

What can be said about Luther Vandross? The most recognizable voice in R&B for the better part of three decades; the creator of more wedding songs than any other group/individual that I know of (and I have gone to A LOT of weddings); the perfector of "baby making" music. You simply can NOT love music and not love Luther. Without him there is no Ruben Studdard, no Usher, no Justin Bieber, no Jon B., no Gerald Levert, no Jamie Foxx... the list goes on. Where are the artists like this? Fast or slow, I am hard pressed to find a Luther song that I don't like. I even like the stuff he made with that crazy jheri curl and 80s clothes, so you know my love runs deep! Pay attention.... some of y'all were conceived to these songs! Happy Sweetest Day!!

Never Too Much
*A thousand kisses from you is never too much! :)
*A million days in your arms is never too much!

Give Me The Reason
*Give me the reason to want you back. Why should I love you again? Do you know, tell me how to forgive and forget.
*The love that used to be, ended the day you walked out.

A House is not a Home
*But a room is not a house, and a house is not a home; When the two of us are far apart, and one of us has a broken heart
*I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home

Here and Now (One of the BEST wedding songs, ever)
*One look in your eyes and there I see, just what you mean to me.
*The love that we share makes life so sweet; together we'll always be.

If Only For One Night
*I won't tell a soul; no one has to know if you want to be totally discreet
*Your eyes say things I never hear from you.
*Let me take you home and keep you safe and warm-- till the early dawn warms up to the sun (wow).
*It would be so nice-- if only for one night.

Forever, For Always, For Love
*If I had the chance to hold you again; I would fill your heart with joy
And make you know that I'm the only one for you

Monday, October 10, 2011

Weekend Recap and New Year's Resolutions

This picture is what I was greeted with early Sunday morning as I helped PAWS Chicago take care of their charity runners at the 2011 Chicago marathon. It was an early (early) morning and a very long day, but totally worth it. Sunday brought me to one conclusion: it is time to start crossing more things off my bucket list... SO... next year: I AM RUNNING THE CHICAGO MARATHON! It is on! I'm going to be a charity runner for sure, and I will be running other races between now and then.
I've put it in writing, so it has to happen. Happy Monday!

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Soulful Saturday - Alicia Keys

Clearly, I do not omit people from this blog because of what they do in their personal lives. My dad complained about R. Kelly and I have complained about Fantasia and Alicia Keys. Although she is a homewrecker, (and don't send me any anonymous hater emails) she makes good music... I just wouldn't let this ho near my husband! ;) Happy Saturday!


A Woman's Worth
*You will lose if choose to refuse to put her first. She will, if she can, find a man who knows her worth.
*A real man just can't deny a woman's worth.
*Don't take for granted the passion she has for you.

*Now who's crying, desiring to come back to me?
*It's called Karma baby, and it goes around.

You Don't Know My Name
**Mos Def= HOTNESS**

Unthinkable (I'm Ready)
*Iwas wondering, maybe, could I make you my baby?
*Wouldn't it be so beautiful?? ;)
*If you ask me, I'm ready.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Fed Up Friday - Herman Cain

If you don't have a job... blame yourself?

Oooo- NO SIR. Herman Cain is a douchebag and should keep his mouth closed. If you made it through the last four years without being touched by the downturn in the economy-- good for you, HOWEVER, to say that people who don't have jobs have failed themselves and should be angry with only themselves is assinine. If that WERE a true statement, Cain would have no reason to consistently complain about how the President has failed us all because there has been no job growth. So, um, shut the fuck up, weirdo.

And when he was on the View, he said that businesses cut personnel out of necessity, and his 9-9-9 plan was going help that... so is it REALLY someone's choice to be unemployed?

And gay is a choice? Really? I want to punch him in the dick... and NOT simply because he is a Republican. He is so closed minded about social issues, when that is NOT what we need right now. Do we need to reign in our spending? YES. Do we need to revert back to the middle ages socially? Absolutely NOT. Don't Ask, Don't Tell should NEVER make a comeback. Healthcare bankrupting families should NEVER happen in the wealthiest country in the world. High unemployment should not be blamed on the people that are suffering, but on the corporations that are enabling that suffering by NOT hiring. Should I really have to type that in order for some knuckleheads to get it?

Four years ago, everyone... including stupid Sarah, harped on the President because he had limited experience, but Herman has NO experience and says so.

So, I am so confused as to why this ridiculous man is one of the frontrunners for the Republicans. Are the Republicans doing what they did the last election go round? Remember when Hilary was running for the Presidency? Then the Republicans introduced Stupid Sarah? That didn't go over well, right? Have they realized that there is a Black man in the White House and are countering with a Black man? Hmmmm. The real question is: will the American public allow them to do that and be successful?

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

How Many Really Know What Love Is?

October is a busy month for the Hot, Black and Bitter family. All three of the dogs have birthdays (and yes, they get a party-- with cake), my birthday is at the end of month (and y'all BETTER have a celebration for me) and then there is today... Today is Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter's birthday AND it is also my parent's wedding anniversary. Momma Hot, Black and Bitter made sure that my dad was NEVER going to forget the day they took the plunge, huh? :) Good for her... good for him, one less thing that he will be in the doghouse for :)

SO, if you are loyal readers of the blog, you know that we are a close group of lovingly dysfunctional people! Really. We do love each other-- sometimes mom has to remind us! We are all knuckleheads-- which dad always reminds us of. We fight. We cry. We hug it out. And if things are REALLY bad, mom will put the offenders on the couch and make us hold hands. Yeah- like we are still little kids. And we better do it, because that lady is not meant to be messed with!! Bottom line: we're all nuts. But, we have all grown together to make up this crazy, ridiculous, family gang. The ringleader (dad) is who I blame for my attitude; the church lady (mom) is who everyone should thank for those few moments of niceness I occasionally have. People often say that my sister and I are total opposites-- because we are, but we came by that honestly-- our parents are TOTAL opposites. But, there is a way to be total opposites and make it work and they do that. Every year, I watch friends (and their parents) go through divorce. People that were "destined" by the peanut gallery to make it through thick and thin. Kinda crazy. I never look to those people because I have the example of how marriage is supposed to work at my parents house. I look at my parents and wonder how they have spent the last three decades together, without killing each other, or an offspring (or two). It is really dynamic though to see how they work together. Mom is really laid back most of the time-- but she is gonna tell you when you are wrong (it will be nice); dad will tell you too (it will be markedly less nice). If you want the answer-- lacking sugar coating-- dad is the one to ask; if you want some hugs and kisses because you have just had a bad day-- mom always has arms open for you at the kitchen door. Just the right balance of pick your ass up and finish & everything will be alright. My parents won't let their partner bullshit them-- no one is getting away with that. But, I guess that is just it. They are partners-- in everything: business, family, love. The not-so-perfect (because no one is) combination of how to make a marriage work. They have set the bar high.

So one this day I want to say: thanks. Thanks to dad for always being there to kick my ass into gear and tell me that everything is going to be ok, but you don't want to hear any snotting and crying over the phone! Happy birthday!!

Thanks to my parents for being a great example and showing me that being completely alike is not necessary for a marriage to work. For showing me that marriage is not always peaches and cream-- sometimes your partner is going to piss you off, or get sick, or lose your favorite socks, or be insensitive, or be too sensitive... but that the ultimate goal is to work together for a common goal-- building a life together. A life with two CRAZY older daughters that will -probably- always be on your dime because they aren't getting married anytime soon; 7 little kiddos who will drive you up the wall every day and melt your heart when they want to hang out with only you while they watch cartoons; a grandson (the human one) who will grow up and be great-- because of you and the 3 grandkids (the furry ones) who send you cards every Christmas and brighten your day with their cute furry faces. That's a wonderful life! Thanks for having that 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 kind of love (oh yes, the heathen still remembers Bible verses, y'all!!) Thank you so much for showing all of us what LOVE is supposed to look like. Here's is to many more years of Hot, Black and Bitter craziness!! ;) Love you!!

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