Showing posts with label momma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label momma. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

How Many Really Know What Love Is?

October is a busy month for the Hot, Black and Bitter family. All three of the dogs have birthdays (and yes, they get a party-- with cake), my birthday is at the end of month (and y'all BETTER have a celebration for me) and then there is today... Today is Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter's birthday AND it is also my parent's wedding anniversary. Momma Hot, Black and Bitter made sure that my dad was NEVER going to forget the day they took the plunge, huh? :) Good for her... good for him, one less thing that he will be in the doghouse for :)

SO, if you are loyal readers of the blog, you know that we are a close group of lovingly dysfunctional people! Really. We do love each other-- sometimes mom has to remind us! We are all knuckleheads-- which dad always reminds us of. We fight. We cry. We hug it out. And if things are REALLY bad, mom will put the offenders on the couch and make us hold hands. Yeah- like we are still little kids. And we better do it, because that lady is not meant to be messed with!! Bottom line: we're all nuts. But, we have all grown together to make up this crazy, ridiculous, family gang. The ringleader (dad) is who I blame for my attitude; the church lady (mom) is who everyone should thank for those few moments of niceness I occasionally have. People often say that my sister and I are total opposites-- because we are, but we came by that honestly-- our parents are TOTAL opposites. But, there is a way to be total opposites and make it work and they do that. Every year, I watch friends (and their parents) go through divorce. People that were "destined" by the peanut gallery to make it through thick and thin. Kinda crazy. I never look to those people because I have the example of how marriage is supposed to work at my parents house. I look at my parents and wonder how they have spent the last three decades together, without killing each other, or an offspring (or two). It is really dynamic though to see how they work together. Mom is really laid back most of the time-- but she is gonna tell you when you are wrong (it will be nice); dad will tell you too (it will be markedly less nice). If you want the answer-- lacking sugar coating-- dad is the one to ask; if you want some hugs and kisses because you have just had a bad day-- mom always has arms open for you at the kitchen door. Just the right balance of pick your ass up and finish & everything will be alright. My parents won't let their partner bullshit them-- no one is getting away with that. But, I guess that is just it. They are partners-- in everything: business, family, love. The not-so-perfect (because no one is) combination of how to make a marriage work. They have set the bar high.

So one this day I want to say: thanks. Thanks to dad for always being there to kick my ass into gear and tell me that everything is going to be ok, but you don't want to hear any snotting and crying over the phone! Happy birthday!!

Thanks to my parents for being a great example and showing me that being completely alike is not necessary for a marriage to work. For showing me that marriage is not always peaches and cream-- sometimes your partner is going to piss you off, or get sick, or lose your favorite socks, or be insensitive, or be too sensitive... but that the ultimate goal is to work together for a common goal-- building a life together. A life with two CRAZY older daughters that will -probably- always be on your dime because they aren't getting married anytime soon; 7 little kiddos who will drive you up the wall every day and melt your heart when they want to hang out with only you while they watch cartoons; a grandson (the human one) who will grow up and be great-- because of you and the 3 grandkids (the furry ones) who send you cards every Christmas and brighten your day with their cute furry faces. That's a wonderful life! Thanks for having that 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 kind of love (oh yes, the heathen still remembers Bible verses, y'all!!) Thank you so much for showing all of us what LOVE is supposed to look like. Here's is to many more years of Hot, Black and Bitter craziness!! ;) Love you!!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

More Precious than Rubies...

I know that it is Mother's Day so everyone is getting ready to go to church, or brunch, or is on every social networking site imaginable, claiming that their mom is the best mom that has ever lived. Well, I'm totally not going to church today. Why? Because I don't want to sit next to you and your mom, plus I hate how super OVERcrowded Mother's Day is. I get that she wants you to go, but really, I don't want to sit behind you while you are trying to flip through the Bible, looking for the scripture that was just announced- brush up on the books before you get there (hello, table of contents!) I may go to brunch, if I can get out of the house and to the restaurant by 6AM. Why so early? Uh, because if I go at normal people time, normal people will be there, that includes you and your misbehaving, bad ass kids and I do NOT want to sit next to y'all! As far as claiming that my mom is the best-- :) She totally is, and if you read this, you'll understand why.

So- I don't write about Momma Hot, Black and Bitter very often. It isn't because she isn't fascinating, worthy or exciting. She is all those things. I don't write about her often because 1. people like Momma HBB should not be reading my blog, 2. as great as my descriptions are, I really don't think I would do her justice and 3. anytime I try to write about her, I always get stuck on what to write about, where to start, etc.

1. People like Momma HBB shouldn't read my blog: Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed... I am a total heathen. For having grown up in a part of the Bible Belt, I have one of the dirtiest mouths this side of the Mississippi. I am always puzzled as to what to say next when someone asks me "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Um, why yes I do, thank you for asking... (I think I am leaning towards this as an answer: "Yes, I kiss my mother with this mouth... and your dad likes it too") See what I'm saying? Probably should not relay stories of my sainted mother while dropping "f" bombs, calling people morons or complaining about my bastard neighbors. I mean, where would I fit in "I love my mommy"? In a Fed Up Friday entry, or while describing Donald Trump as a douchebag? I think not. The fact is: Momma HBB is too classy a lady to be a regular subject of my writings.

2. My descriptions wouldn't do her justice: You know when you come across something magical, but you JUST can't put that magic into words to be comprehended by the masses? That is how I am when I talk about my mom. I call her my favorite girl- she is. With all the words in the English language, I cannot string together an all encompassing description that would paint the picture of what my mom means to me. I've tried. It is impossible. So, when people ask about her I say three things: we look just alike, she is my favorite girl and I want to grow up and be just like her (minus all the children and the heathen oldest daughter!) Other than that- her magic cannot be accurately described. Oh, I'll try a little further down, but no matter how flowery the words are, they will not be able to put all that Momma HBB gives or possesses into a neat little package for everyone to understand.

3. I don't know where to start: whenever someone is telling me a story and they say "I just don't know where to start" my go to comeback is "start at the beginning" (because I'm a smart ass- duh!) but when it comes to my mom, that is easier said than done. Let's see: the beginning, ok. My mom is a genius- granted, I think I am a brainiac, but mom? She graduated high school at 16. Me? 18. She is beautiful- and I am SO very lucky that we look so much alike, because I know exactly what I will look like when I am her age (thank the Lord!!) She is more compassionate than I'll ever be, definitely more patient, more fabulous with kids, WAY better in the kitchen, more understanding... she is just MORE.

I am not leaving a clear picture of my mom in this entry... I'll try again. Momma Hot, Black and Bitter is a wife, a listener, a disciplinarian, a hard worker, a go-between, skilled in chaotic organization, she knows everyone's birthday and middle name (and in our family- that is ALOT), a sweetheart, a fighter for her family (example- I know I'm a heathen and she might know it too, but I dare you to tell my momma that I am-- she will get you!), the BEST example of what a mom is supposed to be, considerate, care taker, boo boo kisser, a teacher, diaper changer (you read that right-- my youngest brother is still in diapers), comforter, a handy woman, potty trainer, doctor appointment maker and keeper, snuggler, dog wrangler, kid chaser, language master (she can understand the little kids better than anyone I know), human thermometer, the best JoJo, consummate host (eat your heart out Martha Stewart), cuddler, laundry expert, a taxi driver, medicine dispenser, cleaner, advice giver, humble, a cooker (and a feeder), bandage expert, the person you want praying for you, a balancer of crazy. She puts up with crying... from me... over the phone (enough said!) She never gets a day off. She has a smile that will brighten up the darkest room, a voice that sings "You are My Sunshine" better than any other person on the Earth, she loves surprises and decorating for Christmas (mom- the neighbors do NOT know that you compete against them every year with your Christmas decorations...). She appreciates effort, loves clean babies, good report cards, kids fresh from the shower (properly greased!), and me- she loves me! And I love her back. :) She. Is. Perfect... and she is all mine. Well, I do share her with a bunch of kids and dad, but you get the idea. I am so glad that we belong to each other and I hope that one day I can pay her back for all her hard work, by being the most wonderful Hot, Black and Bitter I can be!

Happy Mother's Day to my favorite girl! I love you!!

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