Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Drugs, Welfare and the Law

At the beginning of the summer there was an “expose” that boldly exclaimed that some states were going to begin drug testing their citizens that were receiving public assistance. I read that headline and turned the page of the newspaper because it seemed to make sense to me. Little did I know that there was going to be so much controversy surrounding the decision to drug test people.
Now, let me say, I CLEARLY don’t have an issue with helping people out when/if they need it. If you read this blog, you’ll know that I am not a heartless bastard... all of the time. BUT, there is something to be said about helping those that help themselves. Do I want to get rid of welfare all together? No. I think that it serves a purpose. I do think that it should be revamped and I ABSOLUTELY believe that drug testing recipients is a step in the right direction.
So, I have been privy to some online chats that are quite heated. I really think that the only reason people get heated about certain debates is if the subject affects them, or someone close to them. There are people on a certain blog that are screaming about the unconstitutionality of drug testing and how it “focuses on a certain group of people and not the general population” and all I can say is shame on y’all. It is absolutely UNbelieveable that during a time when the majority of Americans are suffering, some of us can get “free” money and not have to make any sacrifices. The only reason someone would REALLY contest this drug testing is if they thought they would fail. I mean really, most of us with jobs had to be drug tested. If I have to be drug tested to get a job, you should have to be drug tested to receive some of my tax money. Point blank, period. If you don’t want to be drug tested, don’t ask for assistance.
Here is what everyone needs to understand—nothing is free and welfare is not supposed to be a lifetime deal. It is supposed to be a helping hand when people have worked and for one reason or another cannot financially make it on their own. I think there should be a cut off—like unemployment. I don’t pay taxes so that people can sit at home their entire adult life. There was a helpful suggestion on one of the online threads. A guy suggested that anyone who receives government assistance, of any kind, should be open to drug testing. That would include business owners, bankers, those who work for the state, Congress, el Presidente, etc. Now that would be far reaching (and would never be passed into law) but how about that?
Bottom line—I don’t have a problem with the state of Florida—or any state—asking someone to take a drug test in order to receive welfare benefits. I think that it is wild that people would have a problem with that. It isn’t like they are forcing sterilization on people (some of y’all *might* need that) or taking your first born so you can eat. It is pee in a cup. We should all be able to handle that.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Soulful Saturday - Country

Now I don't pretend to have this particular genre flowing through my veins, BUT there is something to be said for some country music. First and foremost- Dude, some of these guys are SUPER hot. They play guitar, wear sexy ass cowboy hats and belts (trust me, a man properly wearing a belt is sexy, no matter what genre he is singing.) And- for you guys- some of the ladies are nice looking too. I mean think about it- Tim McGraw (WITH HIS HAT ON) is seriously one of the most beautiful men walking the Earth and his wife, Faith Hill, nothing to scoff at, right!? In the 90s it was Shania Twain and the incomparable Reba McEntire never ages.
Secondly- the music is good. The lyrics usually rival those of some very really deep R&B songs. Plus, who didn't laugh when "Redneck Woman" came out? Exactly!! Here is a sampling.

You're Still The One - Shania Twain

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw

Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Amazed - Lonestar

You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh, Yes he did! Boris Kodjoe and Twitter

Heavyset African American women are lighting Twitter up because of a series of tweets sent by Boris Kodjoe (see above) with his super sexy self. Now, before y'all start lighting up my email (don't embarrass yourself, by the way) I'm going to say what you don't want to hear: I ABSOLUTELY agree with what he said and someone HAD to say it.

Now, I am not one for spreading untruths (is that a word? :)) so I am going to quote a couple of his tweets. "...Had nightmares though about 300 pound women in thongs gnawing on chicken wings while grinding on me. Scary" "Ok, people. Just to make it clear. I love all women!..." "And we as a community have to be more conscious of our health. The numbers are shocking" "No more excuses! High Blood Pressure and diabetes do not 'run in your family'. Pork chops, mac n cheese, and tons of soda do! #stopitnow" Boris also added some fat excuses- things we say to ourselves that make it ok to not be healthy. My favorite was: "#fatexcuses 'MEN LIKE THICK GIRLS' There's a difference between a healthy and sexy stacked goddess (easy Boris!) and an unhealthy obese one."

Feel free to go to his Twitter account and read all the tweets that he laid out. Now, listen... I love (almost) everybody. My personal motto is: if you like it, I love it. I don't care if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds, how you live and what you do-- to yourself-- is up to you. There are significant problems with anorexia in this country AND obesity. As long as your behavior does not affect me and my eating habits, have at it. I don't want anyone telling me what to do in my kitchen, bedroom or life-- I, therefore, will not venture out and tell you what to eat, who to sleep with or how productive to be. Do you, because I am POSITIVELY going to do me. With that said, I have no issue with Boris calling women to task-- AT ALL. He wasn't being being mean spirited (like this entry) and it seems as though his tweets came from a concern for health in the Black community. I can roll with that. I like it, in fact.

The statistics that he tweeted are true. The excuses that he tweeted are ones I've heard before. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I'm not fat, I'm thick!" Ooo-wee, don't say that!! We all know that there is a difference and we all know that being skinny doesn't always mean that you are healthy. We ALL know that. But while we all know the above, here is what I want all of you to realize/accept/and LOVE: just because you LOVE the way you look, the way your life is going, the person that you are with, etc. that, in NO way means that everyone is going to love the choices that you make. If you are being the best that you can and you are consciously making an effort to get in shape or not, to gain weight or lose it, make sure that you are comfortable in your own skin and ready to take some criticism. The way I see it, the only reason way ANYone would take offense to those tweets is if they were overweight and had a self esteem issue. Like Boris tweeted: "I love women that love themselves." So, love yourself-- if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds. Love every stretch mark, line, wrinkle, lazy eye, ugly toe, chipped tooth, every inch of what you got... or get your ass out there and change it, but not for Boris. Do it for you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Just a Taste Tuesday

Monday, August 15, 2011

Why 'The Help' Is Not The Problem

As you know, I read The Help a few weeks ago and this weekend, I gathered myself out of bed and went to see the movie. Before I went, I looked for some reviews online- just to see if the book and the movie were similar & to see what people thought of the acting. Between Twitter and some other blogs, I have to say-- some of y'all are some hateful bitches. There are so many people- mostly Black, I have to say- that refuse to see the movie or read the book for one simple reason: they are the work of a white woman. What the hell?

Let me say this, y'all make me sick. Super sick. Half of you complainers won't read this book because of what you THINK it says. If you don't read it, how do you know? You won't read this book or support this movie but you WILL support idiots like Steve Harvey who can "teach" you how to act like a lady, but think like a man. You WILL and did support a chick named Superhead, who tells of her exploits with musicians, married or not. You WILL support movies with Black people cast as every stereotype we have heard: baby daddy, uneducated, loud, dumb, lazy, shouting the 'n' word for two hours-- But you won't go see a touching movie because it came from the pen of a white woman? Give me a fucking break.

Some of y'all need to get your minds right. If you hateful bitches are mad because a white woman had the audacity to right a book about the happenings in the South in the 60s, the solution is simple- write your own book. Sit your ass in front of a computer and come up with a bestseller. If you aren't willing to put in the work, please shut the hell up. No matter what you say- Black people do not have a monopoly on telling stories about American history in the South. We weren't the only slaves, we weren't the only race hurt by stupidity and racism, we weren't the only ones who suffered for Civil Rights. Jews died, Whites died, young people, old people, Christians, Catholics- and so many more. And now, 50 years later, you don't get to say 'How dare that White woman!'

She did it AND she did it well. The book is a masterpiece. The movie deviated, but is touching. The women involved were amazing actors and I loved it. I highly recommend that after some of you check those nasty ass attitudes at the door, you check out the 'The Help' and save your judgments until after you actually see/read it.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, August 08, 2011

A Fool's Code

Sometimes watching the news is more than a little depressing. Sometimes it makes you question the sea of humanity that surrounds you. To have a short synopsis of the people that you live around is often times too much for your brain to comprehend. You see these people that share your city and feel a sense of sadness. Sadness that their conscience allows them to do some of the most unthinkable deeds.

All of the newscasts that I watched for the past 24 hours led with the death of Arianna Gibson. You know what she was doing when she died? She was sleeping on her grandmother's couch. At 6 in the morning a young criminal- some low life thug- climbed the stairs of her grandmother's house, stood on her porch and fired into the front windows of her house. He struck two teenagers and fatally shot Arianna in the chest. She was supposed to start school today. She was 6 years old.
The story goes on. Faces come across the screen shouting of injustice around the city, begging for someone- anyone- to come forward, pinpoint the shooter, tell what they know. References are made to the 13 year old who was playing basketball on a school playground four days ago when he was shot and killed in a driveby. Another young, unintended victim of the ghetto lifestyle.

The neighbors seem cold on tv, even though I know first hand that is not the case. Mothers are begging, crying on tv for their children. Asking over and over again for the neighborhood to stop this code of silence and tell the police what they know. It never happens. Why is that? How could anyone know the identity of a person who killed a sleeping six year old and not say SOMEthing? How do people think that there is honor in letting a coward roam the streets, enabling them to do this again, to make parents weep for their children- again; to make our community miss out on the potential of another dead young person- again?

Momma Mox always used to tell me "if you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for anything." We need to stand up for our children; our neighborhoods. We need to stand up for the safety of our elders, our blocks. You do no one any favors by remaining silent. You don't ensure your own safety or the safety of your family. The only thing that being quiet does is make sure- without question- that violence will happen again in your neighborhood, that once again a life will end too soon, that the tears of another mother will flow in the streets of Chicago.
RIP in those affected by street violence in Chicago, may all your families find solace.

Soulful... Monday?

Just a taste... Happy Monday

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

First Giveaway!!

Here is the deal- I love to read. Seriously, when I was younger I preferred a good book to playing outside with my friends. Hmmm, not much has changed. I have always been adventurous enough… but I love to have words transport me to a mini vacation occasionally. Books are superb. No matter if you enjoy sci-fi, mysteries, romance, crime dramas or kid books- reading is truly fundamental.

Lately, I have been getting a ton of emails ( asking what I am reading this summer. So, I have decided to give away what I just finished reading!! One of my majors in college was History—in fact, it was my first major. First majors are kind of like first loves… you may not always be together, but you are always linked. My concentration was 20th century American history…. Specifically how the Civil Rights Movement was shaped and how it continues to shape today’s America. With that in mind, you can see why The Help was a book I was interested in reading. The book takes place in the 60s, in the South and is about women coming together and making a change in their community… I was sold. The movie comes out on August 10, so just in time I want to give away a copy of this book!! It is a great, easy read. I have to admit, the book was hard to put down.

How do you win?? In order to get in the running for a copy of the book The Help, 1. go to the Hot, Black and Bitter facebook page ( and LIKE it. 2. Leave a comment on either the blog ( OR the facebook page, telling me what kind of blog entry is your favorite. Do you like the music of Soulful Saturday? Fed Up Fridays? Wordless Wednesday? Let me know!! Your comment will count as one entry in the giveaway. We’re taking entries from NOON, August 2, 2011 to NOON, August 4, 2011 (all times are CST). The winner will be announced & the book will be mailed to the winner on August 5. Simple, huh? :)

Monday, August 01, 2011

Did I Miss Something?

Did someone hit a switch that made it ok to get knocked up by married men? Did I miss it? I must have because it seems like everyone is jumping at the chance to be the conductor of the hoe train!! With yesterdays “revelation” that Fantasia Barrino is pregnant by a married no name, I am really questioning the non-reaction. I mean, can I get a shout out for sisterhood? I can I get a “OMG”? Can I get some of y’all NOT defending them? What if that was your husband? WTF!?!

Can you help who you fall for? Not really. In no way is that permission to commit adultery, or play the role of a home wrecker. That is just to say, you never really know who you will meet and find that you cannot do without. Your Prince (or Princess) Charming might be someone that you never expected to be interested in, never expected the feelings to get so deep so quickly. I get that. I’ll even go out on a limb and say that there are many of us who have been attracted to someone we had NO business being attracted to because of our relationship status—or theirs. But to take it a whole ‘nother step and bring a child into the world… into your mess, that it simply ridiculous and absolutely preventable.

I don’t care what Alicia Keyes, Fantasia, that chick that had a baby with Mel Gibson, and the mother of all homewreckers… Angelina Jolie have to say. Bringing children into a messed up situation is completely irresponsible. I mean, clearly, there is a lack of impulse control if you can’t even wait until the papers are signed to get knocked up… why would you want a child in that? Why would you want a child to be in a situation that the “grow ups” can’t even fix properly? And you know what is really killing me? All these women on the online boards that are like: “who are you to call Fantasia a home wrecker?” “Who are you to judge?” “Why is everybody dogging her… she was blessed with a baby” Um, I called her a home wrecker and I meant it. And I am dogging her because she is having her “blessing” with someone who stood up in front of God and all his family and friends and took vows with someone that is NOT Fantasia AND he is STILL married to his WIFE, who is NOT Fantasia. Not to even mention the whole: if he did it to her, what makes you think he won't do it to you?? If the marriage is over, ok—I’m not saying they can’t date during his divorce process-- although that would not be my preference. I’m not even going to be naive and say that they can’t have (safe) sex during that process, but having a kid is completely different. Why? Wives always want a husband back. There is always that familiarity. You stand the chance of really getting your feelings hurt… and now she is going to add a child onto that. There is always the possibility that you will be the dirty little secret, and he will never leave her. Now you have a kid… What now?

I don’t care if I am over here all alone shaking my head at this madness. Having a kid with someone who you KNOW is married to someone else is unacceptable… and puts you on the same level of all of Tiger Woods’ whores. Aren’t you glad to be included in that group? Yuck.

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