Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Rest the Attitude

I was having a rough afternoon on Sunday. Lefty is moving in TODAY (read: in a few hours, WTF am I still doing awake?!?!) and this long weekend was supposed to be used to get both houses ready (the one he is leaving and the one he is moving into). I don't HATE cleaning, per se, but I do hate every aspect of moving-- even if it isn't me that is moving. You know why? Because it is a pain in the ass. You have to go through everything, throw shit away, pack shit, move it and then UNpack the shit that you just spent hours (weeks) packing up. When I moved from Chicago back to Columbus, I vowed that I would never move myself again-- and I am not going to. I don't care if I have to save for a year to afford movers, the most I am every going to do again is pack boxes and trust me, that is enough.

With my questionable attitude in mind, let's review what happened on Sunday, before I had to give myself a time out and take a nap.

Lefty and I went for brunch to discuss some last minute move stuff, he dropped off some stuff in the garage and planted some flowers in the yard and spent a couple of hours at my parents house, where we ate again. He left to finish packing and I went to make a couple of stops before heading back to the house to clean. My first stop was the neighborhood gas station to pick up a couple throwback Mountain Dews. Yeah, they don't sell the 12 pack in Ohio (WTF?!) but that is a whole other story. As I am waiting in the long ass line to get checked out, I witnessed a little verbal jab match between two elderly people. It really wasn't my business- they were arguing about their place in line- and I couldn't deal with that, so I turned my head and exhaled loudly. The very bright workers at the gas station opened up a second line, which I walked over to. The old lady, who had just finished her argument with the little old man in front of her and was in front of me at the first line, was now behind me in the second line. And I could not make up the next part... not in my wildest dreams.

I am standing in line, waiting for the jackass behind the counter to figure out change for the person in front of me, when this "lady" comes up to me. She says (with a chuckle) "so now you are in front of me, when I was JUST in front of you in that line. uh huh." Now listen, Momma and Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter raised me to have manners-- especially when dealing with the elderly. HOWEVER, I am a huge proponent of giving respect when I get it. I don't know this chick, I already had an attitude and her tone about having to stay in line for one minute longer while that dumb jackass rang up my soda made me want to punch her in her face. She was giving me attitude for absolutely no reason. Had she cut her argument with the old man short, then she could have been standing where I was, instead of complaining.  I'm good for making a scene... and that is exactly what I did.

Me: "Oh, you can feel free to get in front of me. I mean, I just came to this line when that young man announced he was open... but go ahead." 1- My tone mirrored hers, so it was not pleasant. 2- I said it SO loud that the entire store stood still. I didn't really care- she was being rude. If you are rude, you get rude in return. She did say thank you in a smart ass tone when she left... and I absolutely told her she was welcome. I need old people to know the following: Just because you have had a few decades of birthdays, does not mean that you get to treat people like trash with no repercussions. If you throw out attitude for no reason, please know that I am giving that shit right back to you-- 18, 25, 45 or 65+. If you want something from me, you better learn how to ask... or be prepared to be embarrassed in front of a whole gas station of people.

And let me just say: had she asked to get in front of me, I would have let her. All she had to do was ask, but instead she had to be an asshole. Even the caffeine that I purchased didn't make my disposition any more pleasant. I was so irritated that I gave myself a timeout and had to lay it down for a nap. I was a little better when I woke up (I stress a little better)... and then was up all night. Sigh. I can't wait until this move is over. Then I can return to my regular non pleasant self, instead of being the reigning Queen of Bitchland. Oh well, one day at a time...

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Soulful Saturday - Freddie Jackson

Let's just consider this post (among several others) as my ode to the 80s... because I think it has been that long since Freddie has had a hit. However, these ARE classics that you can listen to over and over again, so I guess he really does not HAVE to come out with one more album... but come on. We all need more music videos with big hair, shoulder pads, sparkling sport coats and great R&B lyrics, right? Right!

 You Are My Lady

 Have You Ever Loved Somebody

 Rock Me Tonight

 Jam Tonight

Friday, May 24, 2013

Fed Up Friday - Cheaters at Work

So, it has been a while since I have posted a Fed Up Friday. Not that I haven't been fed up... I have. There has just been limited time to post AND by the time I get off work on Friday, it is technically Saturday. Fed Up Saturday just doesn't have the same ring to it, now does it?

This Friday we are gonna talk about cheaters. Before I go to work to look at all the cheaters. Listen... there is so much cheating going on at work that I am anticipating seeing the camera crew from the show 'Cheaters' in the parking lot after work. I'm not kidding. Married people seem to forget their vows at the entrance. It is crazy.

Now listen- I don't care who is doing what, with whom or where, but there are a few comments I want to make.

1- if you have small children at home (let's say 3 and under) and you are still living with their mother... and you find it necessary to have a mistress at work, you are a douchebag. If you have a WIFE at home and are currently fucking some stupid, ugly chick who works on the other side of the plant, you are an even bigger douchebag. Here is my issue: we are all grown ups. If you want to end a relationship and start another one, please do that. All it takes is a conversation. It should go something like this "hey honey- I am not really feeling "us" anymore and think that both of us should move on." It takes all of two minutes. I mean, if you are cheating already, you clearly don't care about that person's feelings so it isn't like it needs to be a long conversation, right? You give this courtesy conversation so that the other person has a chance to weigh the situation with all the facts in hand. It really is the least that you could do. Really.

2- if you feel like you HAVE to cheat,  let's all agree that the parking lot at work is NOT the place to have sex. Really. Should I even have to type that out? Two adults, both with well paying jobs... the parking lot should not even be an option. If you can't find a more suitable place then you PROBABLY shouldn't be doing whatever it is that you are doing. We are not teenagers, y'all. Find a bed, in a house or a hotel. For all our sakes. Your back will thank you... we aren't getting any younger. Plus, all of your coworkers think you're stupid sluts. Because you are.

3- if you are cheating, do not ask a newly engaged person for advice. I don't want to know what your issues are. I really don't care. In any case, no matter how persuasive you think your argument is, I am going to refer to #1. If you continue to tell me your story, I may end up telling your spouse. Because I am totally THAT type of bitch. I really think that you deserve all that you receive if you suffer from "I am sparing you feelings by NOT being honest" syndrome. Man up, asshole.

4- If you are the other woman in these "relationships" you need to be slapped. I have no special feelings for you, especially if you go into a relationship KNOWING that the man is married/taken. Hey- I am not one that is full blown, all out for the sisterhood. Most of y'all I can honestly do without, however, I have been the one that is cheated on- most of us have. And all those hurt feelings could have been avoided. It is unnecessary and not smart to be the other woman, because one day YOU will be the one at home while he is fucking that new chick in the parking lot. Also, you might need a quick check of the old self esteem if you are ok with banging some dick in the parking lot of your place of employment. I'm just saying... it doesn't say much about you. Hmmm, or maybe it does.

Let's all remember: nothing leads to you getting your ass handed to you faster than sleeping with the wrong person's significant other. Keep it in your pants!!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Soulful Saturday - Quincy Jones

By the time you read this post, I will be on my way back to work. Working six days a week blows, no matter how you slice it. People have been telling me that all this work is good... for my bank account, and it is. But it is bad for my sanity. Money is great, but not if you don't have time to spend it.

One night, I was on my way home from work and I heard one of my favorite songs 'Secret Garden' - a collaboration put together by Quincy Jones. Yes, he is more than just Rashida Jones' father... Y'all, I did a little research and it seems that when I wasn't paying attention, Mr. Jones turned 80!! Wow, ok that has no bearing on his music and I know that he has been around for a while, I just had no idea that he was 80. But, I digress.  Quincy Jones has worked with the best of the best in the music industry (read: Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra, The Brothers Johnson, Chaka Kahn, Tevin Campbell, Michael Jackson, Patti Austin, Lena Horne and Sarah Vaughan - just to name a few) for decades and the expertise that he has shows in the final product. Amazing!! If you are reading this Soulful Saturday, watch out- what comes next is REAL music that will make your life right! ;)


*Um, I love Tevin Campbell (see his Soulful Saturday for the evidence). For real. I love him. This was the first time I heard his voice and I was lovestruck immediately. What a great talent. Plus we are around the same age. He is 11 in this video. Digest that!
*Quicy Jones is the chorus director in this video. He is a precious little man.

The Secret Garden

*Side note: Seriously, how CAN a slow song go wrong when Barry White and James Ingram are singing? Add the lovely light brites Al B. Sure and El DeBarge and you have slow song genius. I dare you to object!
* PS- the title alone... I can NOT handle it!

Just Once 

*Bet you didn't know this was a Quicy Jones song! Again, James Ingram = slow song gold.

You Put A Move On My Heart

*Yes, that is Grant Hill's wife... and Quicy Jones makes a couple of appearances in this video also!

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