Friday, May 24, 2013

Fed Up Friday - Cheaters at Work

So, it has been a while since I have posted a Fed Up Friday. Not that I haven't been fed up... I have. There has just been limited time to post AND by the time I get off work on Friday, it is technically Saturday. Fed Up Saturday just doesn't have the same ring to it, now does it?

This Friday we are gonna talk about cheaters. Before I go to work to look at all the cheaters. Listen... there is so much cheating going on at work that I am anticipating seeing the camera crew from the show 'Cheaters' in the parking lot after work. I'm not kidding. Married people seem to forget their vows at the entrance. It is crazy.

Now listen- I don't care who is doing what, with whom or where, but there are a few comments I want to make.

1- if you have small children at home (let's say 3 and under) and you are still living with their mother... and you find it necessary to have a mistress at work, you are a douchebag. If you have a WIFE at home and are currently fucking some stupid, ugly chick who works on the other side of the plant, you are an even bigger douchebag. Here is my issue: we are all grown ups. If you want to end a relationship and start another one, please do that. All it takes is a conversation. It should go something like this "hey honey- I am not really feeling "us" anymore and think that both of us should move on." It takes all of two minutes. I mean, if you are cheating already, you clearly don't care about that person's feelings so it isn't like it needs to be a long conversation, right? You give this courtesy conversation so that the other person has a chance to weigh the situation with all the facts in hand. It really is the least that you could do. Really.

2- if you feel like you HAVE to cheat,  let's all agree that the parking lot at work is NOT the place to have sex. Really. Should I even have to type that out? Two adults, both with well paying jobs... the parking lot should not even be an option. If you can't find a more suitable place then you PROBABLY shouldn't be doing whatever it is that you are doing. We are not teenagers, y'all. Find a bed, in a house or a hotel. For all our sakes. Your back will thank you... we aren't getting any younger. Plus, all of your coworkers think you're stupid sluts. Because you are.

3- if you are cheating, do not ask a newly engaged person for advice. I don't want to know what your issues are. I really don't care. In any case, no matter how persuasive you think your argument is, I am going to refer to #1. If you continue to tell me your story, I may end up telling your spouse. Because I am totally THAT type of bitch. I really think that you deserve all that you receive if you suffer from "I am sparing you feelings by NOT being honest" syndrome. Man up, asshole.

4- If you are the other woman in these "relationships" you need to be slapped. I have no special feelings for you, especially if you go into a relationship KNOWING that the man is married/taken. Hey- I am not one that is full blown, all out for the sisterhood. Most of y'all I can honestly do without, however, I have been the one that is cheated on- most of us have. And all those hurt feelings could have been avoided. It is unnecessary and not smart to be the other woman, because one day YOU will be the one at home while he is fucking that new chick in the parking lot. Also, you might need a quick check of the old self esteem if you are ok with banging some dick in the parking lot of your place of employment. I'm just saying... it doesn't say much about you. Hmmm, or maybe it does.

Let's all remember: nothing leads to you getting your ass handed to you faster than sleeping with the wrong person's significant other. Keep it in your pants!!


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