2013 - A Whirlwind

This year seems to have been in turbo drive! So much has happened, less writing and more doing over this way. As I look back on all that has taken place, I know that over here at the Hot, Black and Bitter Palace we are all in a better place than we were this time last year. And that, my friends, is the point of this lovely thing called life-- to be better off every single year. To grow as people, to lose the unhealthy people in your lives, to gain some perspective and to move towards whatever goals you have set for yourself.

That is what we have done-- and 2014 is set to be a banner year for us… and we wish the same for all of you! Here is to more balance for all of us in the year to come. Much love and blessings.

Soulful Saturday - Wedding Songs

I shouldn't even have to type that things are headed into high gear around here… our "pre-wedding" reception is exactly one week from today-- and you know, a wedding ceremony on the 23rd. There are last minute preparations happening, last minute RSVPs coming in and (surprisingly) no freak out sessions. Lefty and I don't see each other much because we work different shifts, so there have been no catastrophic meltdowns-- not that there would be. I mean, we are an older kinda couple and I think that we both know that the plans will get done, or they won't and we will deal.

This weekend I will be up to my eyeballs with music. Music for our cocktail party and a playlist for working out, and the honeymoon trip. If you haven't noticed, I am kind of a music snob-- ok, not a snob, but I totally believe that the right music transforms a moment-- and how important do you think the moments that we will have next week have with our families are? Exactly. So here are a few jewels that I am (probably) adding to the playlists.


Shania Twain - From This Moment On 

Let's not kid ourselves, Shania can sing AND she is one super, duper hot Canadian. I remember when this video came out-- that dress was EVERYTHING then, and it still is!!

**You're the reason I believe in love. And you're the answer to my prayers from up above.**

 
 

Surface - Shower Me With Your Love

**Fairy tales, they do, sometimes come true. If you believe it could happen to you**

 


 Michael Buble - The Way You Look Tonight



Edwin McCain - I Could Not Ask For More 

I can't lie-- I totally wanted Edwin to be more attractive, but he makes great music, and really, that is all that matters!

**These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive. And these are the moments I'll remember all my life. I've got all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.**

 


Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You 

So.Very.Fitting for Lefty and I

**I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life.**

Tis The Season for…

Hello capitalism and those who love it! Tis the season for you to go out and buy a whole bunch of shit you don't need, so you can seem just a little cooler to people who don't (shouldn't) matter! Oh happy day! There are deals to be had! There will be small lines (woo hoo) and most things are on sale (supposedly). And hey, if you get the shopping done on Thursday, there will be less pressure when you are out shopping it up on Black Friday, right?

And you know what my vote is? Get your asses out there and shop it up!! I see all this fake concern on social media about stores opening on Thanksgiving. How we need to "keep family traditions" and not feed into the hype. Listen, get your asses in line!! No one was talking this Thanksgiving shit when the iPhone 5 came out. (BTW- why do people still stand in line for shit like that?) Get out there! Help strengthen the economy! Shop before, after and possibly while eating your turkey dinner. Get to the stores and buy your limit of deals under $100 and find a place to hide that shit so your bad ass kids don't find it before Christmas.

I don't care if you want to shop on Thanksgiving. And truthfully, no one else does either. They just want to raise some hell about something… anything. And if they do truly care about what you do on designated holidays (that you are not celebrating with them, in their home, with their families), then… I'm not going to say they are stupid, but those would NOT be the people I would look to for smart advice. The truth is that not everyone HAS family traditions that they participate in every Thanksgiving/holiday season. There are some people with NO family. There are some people (actually some people that I know) who think that Thanksgiving is just another day, and they don't celebrate. And that number is seemingly on the rise. I mean, the stores aren't just opening for one person. There has to be an economic win for stores to one on a holiday, pay people holiday pay wages and stock the store. Someone is going to show up.

And if that someone is not you-- don't worry about what other people are doing. It is not stopping your show. It is not stopping your family get together. It is not stopping the thousands of fake smiles and "yes, we should get together more often" conversations. Is it? No. You won't be on this high and mighty horse when you are opening presents on Christmas, or pushing old ladies out of the way on Black Friday. You definitely won't be saying that at around 6:00 on Thanksgiving evening when your family members are getting on your nerves so you leave to go to the movie theater, right? So you go right on ahead and enjoy your gluttonous holiday, celebrating the stealing of land; the downfall of the Native Americans; the original sin, as it were, on these shores of America. Now, how does it feel, Debbie Downer? Let those people shop if they want to!!

I, for one, will be hanging out with the Hot, Black and Bitter family and Lefty's family throughout the whole weekend. I will be laughing, taking pictures of my food and drinking more than I should. I will have on elastic waistband pants and an extra large t-shirt and I will fall in love with every piece of pie, every bit of my mashed potatoes and gravy and every forkful of my momma's macaroni and cheese. (Don't you judge me-- my mom makes the best Mac and Cheese around… and no, I will NOT be sharing). I will be thoroughly content and too busy (and thankful) to sit around judging people for not celebrating like I do. Whatever it is that you do during this season… do it and have a blast!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Saturday Mojo with HBB

I received an email that asked "what do you and Lefty do for fun?"

Well… we live in Central Ohio and it IS football season, so we do random stuff around the house (like today, I cleaned the carpets in the master bedroom and the hallway) and then we (read: I) watch football. Living so close to Ohio State gives me a great home team to cheer for. Lefty doesn't really watch all the time, but since he graduated from Ohio State and I am *slightly* fanatic about my love for the Buckeyes, he is coming around!

Also tonight, my (not so) little brother, Big Man, and his high school football team will be playing in the Division V Regional final game against some school I have never heard of, in the middle of nowhere. So not only am I typing this while my Buckeyes are on, Lefty and I are stacking on clothing and getting ready to head to Nelsonville, Ohio to freeze our tushes off while loudly embarrassing my 18 year-old brother. This could most truthfully be characterized as the event that is going to brighten my WHOLE day. I am convinced that the Big Man loves it when I scream his name from the stands… and if he doesn't, he better not tell me. Any revelation like that will only make me scream louder.

Really, we do a lot of other things for fun and I will review what we did this summer… and thank you for the question. Keep them coming!!

Just in case Big Man is reading this, here is an inspirational video from my second favorite football team :) Lefty and I will be there rooting for you!! Go Hawks! Go Bucks!!

Scandalous, Party of 1

Oh dear Lord… it is Thursday. And 10 minutes to 10. You know what that means, right? It means that Scandal is about to start and every timeline that I have is lit up with opinions about the tv show Scandal.

Some of y'all are all about the virtual disapproving head shake, making it a necessity to comment about "how you don't understand what all the fuss is about." Making sure we all know that you would never stoop so low as to watch Olivia Pope have an affair with the pretend President of the United States.  Some of you just can't wait to shame the watchers of the show by either complaining about the interracial relationship, the constant twists and turns of the plot, the "disgusting" display of politics, the gay relationships, the philandering…

You know what? It is a tv show. You all need to relax. So what if I totally have a girl crush on Kerry Washington and her AMAZING wardrobe? So what if I can not WAIT for Thursday nights? So what if I like the fact that the President is cheating on his (horrible) wife with a constant problem solver? Who cares that I am secretly having a love affair with Columbus Short, in his 'gladiator in a suit' line? (PS- he is SO fine!) It is an hour out of the week where I can get lost in a very good television show. I can see inside even fake politics and see the lengths that people will go for money and power. And I happen to LOVE it. Bitch, don't kill my vibe.

Scandalous behavior to commence in 3, 2, 1…

The Best Man Holiday - A Review

I knew when I saw the previews that I was going to see this movie… by myself. Not because Lefty wouldn't go, but because I wanted to go, by myself. I remember the first movie-- my heart was all aflutter for the sexy black men on the screen. I mean honestly, minus Terrence Howard, serial cheater Eddie Cibrian and Melissa De Sousa, have you seen a more delicious looking cast?? And let me just add, Eddie Cibrian IS hot… he needs to learn to keep it in his pants and not marry LeeAnn Rimes (gross). Nia Long is ALWAYS flawless. She puts these young girls to shame; Taye Diggs… damn; Regina Hall - lovely; Sanaa… y'all already know and last but certainly NOT least, Mr. Morris Chestnut, who happens to be sex magnified to a level I cannot comprehend. Life giving, he takes away the breath of women everywhere… including me. Oh.My.God, the man is… what is better than flawless? Whatever THAT is, he is. I am not kidding. Look for yourself… I will wait for you to catch your breath.

I kinda feel like screaming "Sexual Chocolate!" like one of Eddie Murphy's characters in Coming to America, dropping the mic and getting off stage. And, no, I do not feel bad for it. Mostly because how do you look at this face and feel bad?! You can't.

And again, you ARE welcome. Anyway-- the movie. The movie was a good. It definitely played on all emotions. It was happy, sad… incited anger a few times. It was a good escape from whatever you have going on, because the story quickly envelopes you into the lives of the characters. It is easy to follow, even if you have not seen The Best Man (original) since it came out in 1999 (ahem, me). Everyone kind of fits into the personality they left us with in that movie. I loved how you could see the progression (and sometimes regression) of the characters. I had plenty of problems with the plot-- like how the women (mostly Sanaa and that horrible Melissa de Sousa) can't seem to let go of the past, even with everything that is going on in the movie. And how Morris always directs his anger at the wrong person… But the movie definitely takes you on an emotional roller coaster, and I liked it. Bonus for me? Eddie George makes a cameo appearance and I have loved that man since his days as a Buckeye, thank you very much!! 

Go see the Best Man Holiday-- it will get you in the mood for Christmas, family and forgiveness. **PLUS THERE IS A NEW EDITION 'CAN YOU STAND THE RAIN?' RENDITION TO DIE FOR!!!!** And don't blame me if you faint at the sight of a shirtless Morris Chestnut, or cry a river in the theater. Both of which are possible!! :) 

Wedding Whimsy - Kittie's Cakes, A Review

Party planning is currently in overdrive in our household. With less than two months to go, I have a ton of Is to dot and Ts to cross. All I can say is I am working on it. There is one thing that we knew almost from the beginning- we knew who was going to supply the cake/goodies for our party. 

**Disclaimer: I went to the same school as one of the owners of Kittie's Cakes (but she is considerably younger than I am )… however, I am from Columbus and know a fair amount of people here, so our personal relationship has nothing to do with this review. Please check out the flavors on their website HERE-- be excited!!**

Lefty and I started to frequent Kittie's soon after they opened. Seriously, we used to stop by before heading out to work in the factory and the goodies hardly made it through the 40 minute trip. So good. My absolute favorite= the Oatmeal Cream Pies. Fresh cream filling, perfectly baked oatmeal cookies. Are you kidding me?!?! Now, I have to say-- I have a wicked sweet tooth. It is an obsession. I am always looking for something sweet to eat. I usually have candy in my purse and when we worked together, Lefty used to carry a pouch of Fruit Gushers in his lunchbox, just in case I had a sugar need. Yeah- it is bad. So imagine how I behave in a bakery!! 

I can say that I have tried all the flavors at this point (except the new seasonal- Thanksgiving Throwback). I do have favorites (like the three I picked for the party) and some that I have tried once or twice and I will probably never have again (like the Chocolate "Chip"-- which I think is just an acquired taste). As Kittie's gets more and more popular, I am happy to know that our party guests will be enjoying what we think are the best baked goods in the city. I cannot stress how much I want you to go here if you are in Columbus, Ohio… you might even like the Chocolate "Chip"!! Here are a few pics from the last 8 months or so- and at the bottom, the flavors for our party will be revealed!! 

Oatmeal Cream Pie- I cannot explain how fabulous these things are! 

Kittie's Cakes! 

Mini Cupcakes- top Coconut Cream, bottom Cookies & Cream

More mini cupcakes- clockwise- Ooey Gooey Chocolate, Dutch, Classic Buckeye, and White Lavender

Cinnamon Roll Cake-- I do not even share these with Lefty.

So which are my favorites? Oatmeal Cream Pies, Cinnamon Roll Cake (as mentioned above). As far as the cupcake flavors my absolute flavors are as follows: White Out, Coconut Cream, Classic Buckeye and Cookies & Cream. For the party we are having a Coconut Cream Cake, Cookies & Cream Cupcakes and Classic Buckeye Cupcakes. Yum!!

Soulful Saturday - The Beauty of Car Concerts

I have not been quiet about my hate/hate relationship that I have with Top 40 music. I am sincerely NOT a fan. I don't even think I can help it. I know that the radio has to play shit that appeals to everyone… and what appeals to the majority is generally garbage. Honestly. Most of what is played is ignored in my car. In fact, Lefty has started to rub off on me-- I listen to NPR in the car. I have a MUCH shorter commute to work, so news radio totally fits, especially early in the morning.

With that said, there ARE some catchy tunes on the radio. There are even a few that inspire car concerts. You know what those are, right? A car concert (which happens frequently in the Hot, Black and Bitter mobile) is when you throw caution to the wind, pick up ANYthing that looks like a microphone, throw your head back and sing along to the song you are listening to. And it has to be loud. Loud like your favorite band playing a farewell concert at Fenway. Loud like your past teenage angst. Loud like you don't care about the fact that you are aging and you *might* need that ability to hear tomorrow. You sing along; you might add a little shimmy if you get really into it and most of all, PARAMOUNT, you don't care who sees, hears or laughs. You just get it in. Yes… car concerts. I love them so. Here are a few songs that have made me bust out my shimmy while singing into a hairbrush at the top of my lungs:

OneRepublic - Counting Stars

**Old, but I'm not THAT old. Young, but I'm not that bold,**

**Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive!**



Lorde - Royals

Sidenote: I have loved this song since it came out. And I LOVE the fact that this girl is so young (16) and gained popularity because of her sound cloud account! Her voice is AMAZING.

**We crave a different kind of buzz**



Justin Timberlake - Mirrors

I have a love affair with Justin's music. I have been ever since he went solo. I like some of the N*Sync riffs he sang and he can dance. During a time when "musicians" have no skills, he shines. He reminds me of the well rounded performers of the Motown era. He is cute, can sing and dance-- essentially he can put on a show. All by himself. I just refuse to go see him in concert… because he is NOT traveling with a musician.

And who doesn't love a love song?? Exactly.



Avicii - Wake Me Up

OMG- Love, love, love. Love the lyrics, love the sound, just freaking LOVE. If you pull up beside my car concert and I am dancing… 9 times out of 10, this song is on.

**Wake me up when it's all over. When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost.**

**Life's a game for everyone, and love is the prize!**




Bruno Mars - Gorilla
**NSFW**
Eh, this lucky leprechaun better watch out… I *might* just buy his album. Super sexy song. Just Fabulous. FYI- Music starts at the 2:00 minute mark. This reminds me of some vintage Prince songs (hear second verse- holy shit!)… so ALL GOOD!! Get it, little man!! :)

Wedding Whimsy - Save The Dates

It has been a while since I have written about the party happenings. To recap: we got engaged (Feb 14), we have picked a date (December 23) and a "pre-wedding" party date (December 21) and a place (Thurber Center). Clearly, more needs to happen before we get married... and it has been happening, I am just getting around to filling everyone in.

Save-The-Dates weren't REALLY necessary for us, since we are not having a traditional wedding/reception/ceremony, but Lefty and I wanted to make sure that we send something out since our party is so close to Christmas. Having lived in Chicago, I knew that I would be inviting people from out of state and I really wanted to make sure that our friends and families had plenty of time to plan for traveling the weekend before Christmas.

I also knew that I didn't want to spend an arm and a leg to send out party invitations. I mean, honestly, a small cocktail party for our friends and family... I didn't want to send out evites, but I also didn't want to go into debt before I buy alcohol for this shindig. Looking for good looking, economical party invites is not an easy task. Add the words "wedding" and "reception" and the price goes up exponentially. I think that is total crap. Non-traditional brides should get a price cut. I don't think I would ever do the whole big white dress thing, or the extreme wedding (think: a David Tutera production) and I really don't think I should have to shell out a million bucks for invites to a party that just so happens to be connected to a wedding ceremony (2 days later).

The bargain shopper in me kicked in. I knew almost immediately that I wanted to go with postcards. And I kind of knew that I wanted Black and White ones-- I like the contrast... and Lefty and I are Black and White (and I am just that goofy). Since we are doing a Gatsby like theme, bold lettering was a must. At the end of the day I went with a glossy postcard from 123print (can you believe that???) I can't. I was afraid that they would look cheap, but they didn't. Just what we needed to get the date out to our buddies (along with our wedding website). Below is a picture of the front of our party postcard... the blurred top part is where our names are. Our real names, not Miss Mox and Lefty. LOL

They served their purpose well. Let me know what you think.

No Money... Except for the Shit We Like

I have been trying to hold it together during all this government shutdown bullshit, but I read something today that made me want to drive to D.C. and start banging heads together. Today is October 15, 2013. In exactly 2 days the Congress of the United States of America is going to have to come to some agreement so that the nation can continue to pay its bills, and not hit the debt ceiling that is being squawked about on EVERY news/financial station in the land.

Yes, our Congress is going to have to actually work for their paycheck. It will be nothing short of amazing. Also, while the debt ceiling fiasco is looming, the government has been partially shutdown for three weeks. Federal workers have been furloughed. National Parks are closed. Until late last week, death benefits for soldiers were being denied. Consumer confidence is at a 9 month low. Misinformed people are blaming the President... but the real blame lies with our uncompromising, shiftless Congress.

Most of this nonsense is happening because of the GOP and their undying need to attempt to do harm to the President and the Affordable Care Act. Oh- you know the Affordable Care Act by its other name-- Obamacare. You know, that health care act that the Republicans keep screaming they don't want to fund (but it is already funded). The one that the Republicans keep saying the American people do not want (but we DO want it and desperately NEED it). The one that they contested (but has been upheld by the highest court in the land). Yep, that one. Say what you will, but this shutdown is not because of Barack. He and I have other issues that we need to work out, but this (badly) is not one of them.

While the Republican led crusade against the President wages on, hamstringing the finances of the American people, there is still money being spent... lots of money. About 10 days ago the Navy Seals went on a super secret mission- money- to capture a terrorist in a far off land- more money- and bring him to some sort of "justice"- always boatloads of money. Now, I am all about getting terrorists off the street, right? But when American CITIZENS cannot go to work because Congress can't get their shit together, it seems foolish to go out and spend money - that you keep saying we DON'T have - to capture ONE man. But we did... so what are you gonna do, right? And I could even deal with that misuse of funds - hell, Congress misuses the hard earned dollars of the American public EVERY day, so we are kind of used to it, but there is a new dimension to the story...

Last night, I was watching the news and the story said that this guy, the Terrorist, Anas Al-Libi is on American soil because he needs to have life saving medical attention. Dude, let me get this right: during a time when our lawmakers cannot agree enough to keep civilian federal workers in their offices, because they want to fight a war of words over an Affordable Care Act which is already law, our government (who had to be coerced into paying death benefits to soldier's families) captured a known terrorist and have brought him into the United States to receive FREE healthcare for life saving treatments?!?! On the American people's dime?!!? A terrorist is being afforded a right that the American people do not have??? A right that the Republicans do not want to extend to the poorest American citizens???

Oh, I see... makes total sense now.

Fed Up Friday - Help Yourself

Right after a trip to see Lefty's family for Thanksgiving last year, we were stopped, while we were eating, by a young woman wanting to use my phone. I am (unnaturally) attached to my iPhone. Whatever, I admit it. I made her sit right next to us, but I did let her use my phone. In the midst of this we got a tearful story explaining why she was there (with her baby) and what was going on. There was an accusation of some sort of domestic violence, more crying, anger, more crying. It went on for almost an hour. We offered to drive her to a shelter. She didn't want to share a cot with her toddler. We offered to give her a ride to a friend's house. My dad gave us the names of places that have emergency shelter for women and children. She didn't want to go and after a while we realized that she wanted money- not help. She wanted me to do all the work, simply because she cried... and we all know I wasn't going for that.

 For the next eight weeks I will be in a class for work. I have been in this class for seven weeks already. I am surrounded by morons. Actually, there are a few good people and more than a few haters. We have tests that we have to take-- I tend to score very well. Hey, I'm a nerd, what can I say? There is a group of women who are MAD about it. Like, give me their "stank faces" mad about it. Like, 'will not talk to me unless it is absolutely necessary for class' mad about it. Like 'side remarks when they think I can't hear them' mad about it. And let me say, no matter what the reason, I do not care. Smarts come easy to me-- because I work my ass off. I study. I pay attention (even when I don't want to). I make it work and my classmates could easily be in the same boat. And starting next week we have to pair up and help each other. Um, hell no. I am supposed to help someone who refuses to pay attention and help themselves?

Listen- here is my deal. I am generally not nice. I don't find it necessary a lot of the time. But, ever so often, I am willing to go out of my way to help someone out. For my help, you only have to do two things: 1- ask me (because I don't pretend to be a mind reader) and 2- put forth some effort to help yourself. Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. I can tell you, there have been times when my friends have come to my rescue. Times when I was doing all I could and still not making it. But in all those instances, I was doing everything that I could. I was putting forth effort. I wasn't spending money I didn't have; I wasn't partying it up or shirking my responsibilities. I was going through the channels set out for me and was super fortunate to have people around me who noticed that I needed help WHILE I was doing all I could do to keep afloat. I know that people can't get through this thing called life by themselves. I know that sometimes you need help. I get it-- trust me. But don't sit on your hands while you are steadily asking me to break my back for you. Don't ask me for help if you are not going to contribute. Don't ask me to sweat while you bask in some air conditioning. Get your ass up and sweat next to me. Contribute!! Help yourself!


 

Fed Up - Syria

I have been watching the news intently, hoping that this week would bring the result that I have been hoping for ever since Syria has made the news cycle. Boy, am I glad that I didn't hold my breath because it seems that the United States cannot let a year pass without sticking its proverbial nose in someone else's business. Tonight I watched the President deliver a speech that included the biggest bunch of bullshit that I have heard him spew. And I am going to say this: I voted for Barack and in general, I believe in MOST of what he proposes (as much as one can believe in a politician... so, you know, about 45%), but ANY kind of strike against yet ANOTHER regime in a country far, far away... I'm gonna take a hard pass on that one.

I have decided to use this blog entry as a letter to the President... I wonder if he will read it? Ok, doubtful, but I need him to know my feelings on the subject.

Dear Mr. President:

I can only say this directly: I am TIRED of war. We, as a country, are in NO position to play Captain Save a Hoe all over the world. Syria's problems are NOT our problems and "Boots on the Ground" or not, I believe that we need to take a seat and (finally) let some other country be the Superhero of the world.

You have attempted to convince us that we are no longer in a two front war (Iraq and Afghanistan) but, sadly, I am not convinced. I know that tonight you said that we are no longer involved in Iraq- I don't believe that for ONE moment. Our troops are still over there, building schools and helping out. All the while in cities like Chicago and Columbus (both near and dear to my heart) schools are closing and children can't pass standardized tests. In our city of Chicago (yep, I'm still claiming it as mine) there are actual war zones. Kids don't make it home from school; the state of Illinois is BROKE (along with other states like Florida and California); 70% of all people below the poverty line are CHILDREN. American children go hungry in our country EVERY day. Thousands upon thousands of American citizens are STILL underwater on their mortgages and losing their homes, or working hard at a job that just will not (read: CAN not) pay their living expenses. Even more people are living without health insurance and are essentially one serious illness away from financial collapse.

We have a growing population of uneducated youth and no funds to help them. Teachers are being laid off, schools are being closed across the country, families are working multiple jobs are are somehow unable to meet basic HUMAN needs with their paychecks. We have people suffering and a Congress that is refusing to help them- either with health care or job readiness. WE HAVE COLLEGE EDUCATED PEOPLE WHO ARE UNABLE TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES AND PAY OFF MONIES BORROWED FOR THEIR EDUCATION. Yet here we are, building schools in foreign countries. What? Here we are answering the call for other countries... Here we are, being concerned with the welfare of children half a world away, all the while the needs of OUR children are not being met. How does that work? I think that our Congress, before they say yes to this "no boots on the ground" attack should look very closely at the constituency that put them in office. Are these people suffering? Are they employed? Are their children eating (outside of the meager school breakfast/lunch that is being offered)?

Bring our troops home from these far off places and use their energy to rebuild OUR country before we begin to worry about ANOTHER country. Listen, el Presidente-- I am not trying to be insensitive. Really, I am not... and I am trying to come up with a good way to say that I don't really care what happens in other countries, but I can't come up with anything... without curse words involved. And since my mom thinks that you are her boyfriend, let me try to keep this as professional as possible... Ok, I did not cast MY vote for you (in both elections, I might add) so that you could run around here and take care of everyone else BESIDES the American public. We cannot and should NOT attempt to save everyone. To make matters worse, you tried to make us believe that you have good intentions with this strike- that it was for the dead children you saw in that video last week. C'mon now, Barack, you know THAT is not true. We would not get involved if there was not a benefit coming to the United States. You wanting to get involved makes me want to ask exactly what you think we are going to get out of this... but I don't really care because we need to tend to our own business.

Lastly, let me just let you know that the fact that you took to the television airwaves the night BEFORE the 12th anniversary of one of the most hurtful events in recent American history- talking about threats to American security- was not lost on me. I see through right through that bogus shit. It doesn't look good on you... and it is very Bush-esque. Let me say... he is NOT the President that you want to emulate. You aren't doing this for our safety. You aren't doing this for the Syrian people and you certainly do not have the betterment of the American people in mind. Let's take a year, 365 days and really put forth some effort to examine and turn around some problems that face the American people. You know, those people who pay your salary and the salaries of the Congress members that you are asking to do your war-mongering deeds. Yup, us. Care about US. Take care of US. Fix OUR problems. Worry about other countries second... for once.

Sincerely,

One concerned, Hot, Black and Bitter Voter


 

Soulful Saturday - Musical Obsessions, Summer 2013

I have not posted anything about music lately-- because I have been enjoying the summer weather and getting acclimated to working during the day again. On my way to work, I actually get to hear news and traffic. Oh, working a first shift job is SO very different than working a second shift job! After tuning in to hear the traffic, while in a caffeine-deprived daze, I often get stuck listening to whatever songs get played. Lately though I have been pleasantly surprised by the following songs... I like them. Crazy, huh? :)

Bruises - Train

"We've all got bruises..."How true is THAT?!?! Wonderful and I have to admit-- I sing along often!




Cups (When I'm Gone) - Cover

Yeah, I JUST saw Pitch Perfect this past weekend, so when I heard Anna Kendrick sing this song at the beginning of the year, I was not fully appreciating the song... but I get it now!! And I love this version... and the fact that Lefty STILL thinks the lyrics are "You're gonna miss me by my walk, You're gonna miss me by my TACO" she says TALK... Oh, but it is ok. I laugh EVERYtime. Jesus.




Cruise - Florida Georgia Line f. Nelly

I CAN'T HELP IT!!! Do not ask me why I love this song. I just do... and I am totally pulling my Don't Judge Me card for this selection. PS. Nelly... yep, still SUPER hot. Thank you!




Best I Ever Had - Gavin DeGraw

An absolutely GREAT song to throw Gavin back on the scene. Love, love, love.



And to round out the summer obsession... The Civil Wars - The One that Got Away

Who is sad that they are no longer together?! Me, me, me. These two need to put aside their differences because they make wonderful music together.

Dream Deferred?

Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, as I am sure that everyone knows. Pictures of Martin Luther King, Jr. along with quotes from his I Have A Dream speech made the rounds on every social media outlet that I subscribe to. Media aided in the hype (as usual). People changed their profile pictures to black and white photos from the day in question. Activists linking arms, raising their voices in one unified tone, declaring that the status quo wasn't good enough. Using one voice to say that the bare minimum was no longer acceptable. I saw those pictures and my heart jumped and fell- all in the same moment. The history nerd in me rejoiced and the realist in me looked on with sad eyes and a sorrow filled heart. Being able to look at those pictures made me so incredibly happy to see what kind of stock American people come from, yet so ridiculously upset at the static state of our society today.

I think that I have typed these words before, so the following should come as no shock: We are NOT living the dream that MLK was talking about. I am not part of the group of people who think that JUST because our President is Black we have overcome. We, as a society, are further behind than we were 50 years ago, in some aspects. Women and minorities still get paid less than white men on a regular basis. Minority children still get a substandard education when compared to the education received in primarily white neighborhoods. Racial injustices still happen daily. Gender discrimination is an every day occurrence. Rape is an EVERY day occurrence. Disenfranchisement happens in polling places AND in state legislatures in 2013. War is happening. The American public is paying with tax dollars AND the lives of our beloved soldiers EVERY day and it is not being reported in our 24 hour news streams. Our leaders are corrupt and WE are not holding them accountable for their actions. Our troops and the elderly are being bilked out of their hard earned money and being left to suffer alone- by the government and their families- in assisted living facilities. Worst of all, we do not have a promising field of minority leaders who are battle tested and ready to take their place on the front lines to fight against inequality.

That last sentence is what I believe will kill the dream altogether. People have been lulled into a false sense of security. They sign an online petition and figure that they have done their job. There is no sense of unity- everyone is too obsessed with the next new thing, new group, new iPhone. They are way too willing to talk about rap verses and not willing enough to defeat their neighborhood thugs. They are way too concerned with fast ass musicians at an awards show than helping the family down the street put food on their table. People are willing to wait in line for some limited release sneakers, but won't wait in line to register to vote. Some think that BECAUSE we have a Black President that the fight is over. It isn't. Your oppressed brothers and sisters are out there- and they need your help.

Don't let the 60s be repeated. Don't let the work and the deaths of the people who sacrificed everything be in vain. Get out and make your dream, and the dream of your neighbor, come true. We are all fighting for the same thing, right? The ability to live our lives, take care of ourselves and our families. Don't quote the I Have A Dream speech to me. Live it daily... and you will get my attention.


 

While You Were Sleeping - Harriet Tubman

It is almost 1 AM. I NOW have a day job. I was so ready to go to sleep, until I saw references to THIS:



Ok, First of all- this shit is NOT funny. At all. In any form. Second- the fact that not only were they able to find Black actors to downplay the real rapes and savagery that took place during slavery as a JOKE... AND the fact that this appeared on Russell Simmons' All Def Digital YouTube channel- is astounding. Absolutely unbelievable. Third, and here is the true tragedy, there will be more Black people who see NO problem with this video. They may even chuckle. They will not correct others who DO laugh at this. They will be silent.

Now listen, I am not one to jump on a soapbox at the drop of a hat. This blog represents my personality in small snapshots, on topics that I choose to write about. Lately, the subjects are somewhat frivolous, but this is serious. As a lover of history, I have to say... The United States has had a sordid past- that is no surprise to anyone. The history of slavery in this country (and around the world) is no laughing matter. There is no denying that some people's reality has been shaped by the atrocities of 400+ years of a horrid system of buying and selling human beings, of split up families, of beatings and rapes that took place for no other reason than having the ability to do them without repercussion. There is no denying that America, is NOT in fact, post racial anything. We have all held onto stereotypes that began in the infancy of our country-- and some of us hold those stereotypes as truth in 2013.

What I hold as truth is as follows: I will not, ever, support Russell Simmons. Not ever. The fact that he, as a Black man in America okayed this... video... shows me that he does not have my interests, or the interests of a strong Black community, in mind.

Another truth (and I have held this one for decades- I have said it before and clearly I need to say it again): I will not support entertainers, movie "stars", producers, people on the street or relatives that use the N-word. I don't care if you are Paula Deen, Paula from high school, Paula down the street or Auntie Paula- there is NO excuse for anyone to use that word. Black people kill me trying to take back hurtful words- that one in particular. And non-Black people kill me when they try to explain why they should be allowed to say it. You will not disrespect me, my momma, my community, people who have died for the cause, no matter their race or humankind in general, by uttering that word in my presence. I do not care who you are. Father so and so, Pastor so and so, rapper so and so. Listen, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter says whatever the hell he wants and EVEN he does not say that word in front of me. If I ain't taking it from him... You surely will NOT get a pass.


The truth above all truths: I am a proud, strong, capable woman who knows the history of the country that she loves. I respect my history as a Black woman and the history of others. If I made a video about how much Jews really loved the Halocaust--how Hitler was actually a savior to the Jews he confined in the ghettos of Europe; or, how much Native Americans really loved marching the Trail of Tears and being forced to give up all they knew by outsiders who wanted more resources-- how they appreciated helping the English survive the winter on the East Coast, only to have those same people take everything that they had. If I made a video that somehow poked fun at the war crimes that are going on right now against POWs and others being held against their will. If I trivialized someone else's well noted struggle-- how would that be taken? Who would reprimand me? Someone would, right? So where is that someone NOW? Why is it that no one is standing up for the Black community when ideas like this are being thrown around the production room? Why didn't Russell Simmons see a problem with this mess BEFORE it made it to YouTube? Before there was outrage? WHERE WAS HIS OUTRAGE?? Why didn't the two Black actors in this skit say to themselves "hmm- this really is NOT funny, maybe we should try something else?" What made anyone think that this was okay? Why, when I do defend the Black community I am pegged as out of touch, or too sensitive? And for God's sake WHERE are the rest of the Black people who have a problem with this???


I am so tired of this. Here is the lesson that we (Black) people need to learn: the only way that the ills of our community can be cured is if we, as a community, stop putting up with substandard behavior from our members. We can't blame other people. We have got to nip the nonsense in the bud, all over. So that means, I have no love for Russell Simmons--- or his offspring. I don't live for making his pockets fatter. I have no love for all these rappers that are making it seem as though we are all fools who can't speak English and have thousands of babies without marriage. I have no love for the drug dealers and ridiculous petty criminals in our community. I draw the line and supporting EVERYTHING just because it is Black. Putting up with craziness is not my forte-- no matter who is bringing the crazy. People, we have GOT to expect and receive better from our own community, because I can't have another night like tonight. I can't watch another Black person acting like a fool for a few inappropriate laughs. I'm so done with this bullshit. So done.


 

My Kinda Week... Not

So- the week that I have had. Oh my God. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Seriously. Nothing was going my way.

It is SUPER hot here in Central Ohio. Sleep has been uncomfortable. Work has been uncomfortable (that is what happens when you work in a factory, I suppose). Our Save-the-Dates have been sitting on my nightstand for almost two weeks because I have not finished the labels. One of my buddies at work is leaving (tonight was her last night). I have had an attitude-- especially after hearing/reading/digesting the George Zimmerman verdict. Poor Lefty has had to deal with me and my sad face. All week. And to top it off... I had to take my computer into the Apple store for repairs. Three of the longest days EVER and $300 later, the computer is running like a dream and I am starting to smile again. Everyone breath a deep sigh of relief!

So after this shit week, I needed an escape. A small vacation. A get my mind right moment. Lefty had the night off (lucky dog) so after I said my goodbyes to my friend aka promising to send her inappropriate texts on occasion, I got in the car and decided that the trip home was going to be my vacation. I called Donatos (yeah- best thin crust pizza there is) got a well done individual pepperoni pizza and a cold pepsi and sang this song at the top of my lungs as I drove away. I almost felt bad that I didn't save any for Lefty. Vacation- staycation- conquered. Like.A.Boss.

Here is to happier moods.

Tattoo Frenzy

Things have been crazy lately. I have taken a break from writing because 1- it is summertime, and if you live in the Midwest, the summer is meant to be enjoyed! 2- I have found that I have been so ANGRY about news stories that are happening AND people's response to them. I'm still shaking my head at some of y'all. 3- As you all know, I am planning a party... and a wedding.

So, I have plenty that I have written drafts about, but haven't posted (for my own sanity, I think). And so here I am. Life has been fantastic though. The factory has been shut down for a week (happens twice a year), so Lefty and I have been able to do SOME things around the house, some things that needed to be done (like my crazy car tune up) and some things that we wanted to do (finally!) One of the things that we wanted to get done was... tattoos! What?!?! That is correct we have gone to the dark side of body art (ok, ok, I was already a card carrying member, but today, I got Lefty to join me!)

Lefty had a specific reason and vision for his tattoo. Last October Lefty lost his younger brother. I didn't write about it (and I don't think I will today, either-- Lefty has written about it and talks about it, and I listen) but suffice it to say EVERYone was sad, it was rough for everyone involved and Lefty was looking for a way to honor his brother in an everlasting kind of way. When my grandmother passed away in 1999, I got a tattoo. It reminds me of her every day and when I look at it I remember all the funny, great conversations that we had. It makes me smile. And now Lefty has something that will remind him of his brother; something to make him smile. Maybe I can get him to write a blog entry about its meaning? (hint, hint Lefty) Until then, here is the finished product:

Yep... super cute!!   :) He was such a trooper. This is his first tattoo and he didn't even cry! Trooper. Me? I didn't cry either. Really, this is my fourth tattoo and I got white ink, so I would deserve to be slapped if I cried for a tattoo that lasted 5 minutes. It turned out GREAT. It is simple and clean and I love it!! I took this pic by Mac Book light... hahahaha! 

And, no... I swear that I did NOT get white ink because Lefty is white (though we joked about that in the tattoo parlor) and he did not get black ink because I'm black. We are so inappropriate to laugh about that possibility... but it was super funny to us. 

Also, I just want to say that Alison at Short North Tattoo was AWESOME. Lefty told her what he wanted and she put that into a drawing that was EXACTLY what he wanted. She broke in my newbie so gracefully and I appreciate it SO much. If I had a rating system (wait, I should TOTALLY make up my own rating system...) she would get 5/5 of whatever I was giving. Oh YES... she gets 5 coffee cups. Out of 5. AKA she is the cat's meow!  

Garden Love

Over here at the Hot, Black and Bitter Palace we are growing a garden of loveliness. So before I shit on your weekend with tomorrow's Fed Up Friday, I decided to share some of our garden greatness! I am so amped!! Lefty and I have already enjoyed some broccoli from the garden... next up green beans and strawberries. Oh yes, summertime ROCKS!! 

Here are some pics from the day we planted in May. 

This is the zucchini from a couple weeks ago.

Broccoli before we harvested our first bunches.

Zucchini coming in!! 

Harvesting Green Beans!! :) 

Cucumbers!!! Yay!!! 

Strawberries!! 

Today we HAD to take pics of the zucchini and tomatoes--  I will post them soon! 

A Different Kind of Father's Day Post

Yesterday I spent some time with Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter. Lefty and I brought over some dinner (that we did not cook, but stood in a very long line- in the rain- for), we visited. We laughed; we watched some tv; we hung out.

While I was over at the Parentals house (using their lovely wifi) I surfed Facebook a little. On Father's Day. Big Mistake. Some of y'all... I need you to get it together. I saw the same old shit, people complaining about their "baby daddies" who ain't shit, people who are complaining about single mothers getting praise on Father's Day, people complaining about the relationship that their children have with their fathers... and so on. Ok. I have already written about who deserves to get a Happy Father's Day from me. And after yesterday- I can tell you that this post is going to be very different than other Father's Day posts you have seen. Really, I should have titled it "This shit is YOUR fault."

I tire very quickly of adults acting like children. So, needless to say, I absolutely do not condone supposed grown ass men flaking on the responsibilities with their children. I think it is about the worst thing that you could do- the hurt feelings are passed along through generations of that child's children, so the selfish behavior of one person has the potential to hurt more than a handful of people. Multiply that by the number of bastards running around acting like they don't have kids and you see how great this problem can be. There is a special place in hell for those people. That being said- I blame some of these mothers.

Let me say this: some of y'all go into a situation with eyes wide open. You see these "men" and how they interact with children that they have had with other women. Trust me, not EVERY woman they have bedded are crazy... and if they are all, in fact, crazy, then so is that "man." If he is not participating with his children his had prior to meeting you, what makes you think he is going to participate with yours? You see these "men" and how they treat big responsibilities. If they don't have the same type of urgency that you do about staying out of debt, or taking care of the bills, etc.... how do you think he will handle the BIGGEST responsibility of having a child? And the worst: some of you have SEVERAL children with the very same low life that has been stiffing you on child support. Wait- I lied, that is NOT the worst: this is-- some of you refuse to take your sperm donors to court for child support. WTF??

Then you want to take to facebook and other social media outlets to tell everyone what he is and is not; how he does not provide and how he is a bastard for ignoring your kids. Um... couldn't you find that out after baby #1?? Couldn't YOU have seen the patterns before getting impregnated? Couldn't YOU have stopped YOUR own desires for a moment and taken precautions before sex in order to make sure that you would not become pregnant? There is plenty of blame to go around, if you ask me. Just like that asshole is not being responsible once a pregnancy occurs; by all accounts, some of these mothers are not being responsible before the pregnancy occurs. Then, on Father's Day, she complains about his shortcomings. Guess what? He deserves that blame. And so does she.

Open your eyes, people. These kids are out here with NO parents. Dads are too busy running away and some of y'all moms are to busy running after the dads- for selfish reasons. Stop.It.

Wedding Whimsy - A Place!!

Big things are happening on the wedding party front. We already know that the ceremony itself is going to be small and downtown, so when looking for a place to celebrate with our friends and families before taking the plunge, we kind of ran into a wall. Seriously, where can two book nerds party it up with their friends and families, drink a large amount of alcohol, and enjoy some great food and music? Stumped, huh? Us too!

We saw this great place in the Hocking Hills. I loved it. The Inn & Spa at Cedar Falls was amazing- filled with green-built buildings and very close lodging. The date of our party was the problem. I am not sure if you guys have been to the Hocking Hills area, but... there are HILLS. With a party in December, I was afraid that weather would leave party goers stranded, so I had to vote against the Inn. We decided that we are still going to have a weekend there though, mostly because the area was beautiful AND the staff was so wonderful- so that review will be posted later.

We decided to have our "Preception" (that is what we are calling the wedding party... this week) at... (drum roll) The Thurber Center. Book neediness WIN of the century!! Thurber Center is right next door to the Thurber House here in Columbus. For those who don't know, James Thurber was an author, attended Ohio State (like Lefty) and loved dogs (like yours truly). For more info on James Thurber, please check this out!

We really could not have done any better as far as a place goes! The staff is amazing; the history makes both of us happy and the Center is centrally located, with plenty of room for drinks, food and fun! Operation Eat, Drink and Be Married is officially rolling! :)



 

Rest the Attitude

I was having a rough afternoon on Sunday. Lefty is moving in TODAY (read: in a few hours, WTF am I still doing awake?!?!) and this long weekend was supposed to be used to get both houses ready (the one he is leaving and the one he is moving into). I don't HATE cleaning, per se, but I do hate every aspect of moving-- even if it isn't me that is moving. You know why? Because it is a pain in the ass. You have to go through everything, throw shit away, pack shit, move it and then UNpack the shit that you just spent hours (weeks) packing up. When I moved from Chicago back to Columbus, I vowed that I would never move myself again-- and I am not going to. I don't care if I have to save for a year to afford movers, the most I am every going to do again is pack boxes and trust me, that is enough.

With my questionable attitude in mind, let's review what happened on Sunday, before I had to give myself a time out and take a nap.

Lefty and I went for brunch to discuss some last minute move stuff, he dropped off some stuff in the garage and planted some flowers in the yard and spent a couple of hours at my parents house, where we ate again. He left to finish packing and I went to make a couple of stops before heading back to the house to clean. My first stop was the neighborhood gas station to pick up a couple throwback Mountain Dews. Yeah, they don't sell the 12 pack in Ohio (WTF?!) but that is a whole other story. As I am waiting in the long ass line to get checked out, I witnessed a little verbal jab match between two elderly people. It really wasn't my business- they were arguing about their place in line- and I couldn't deal with that, so I turned my head and exhaled loudly. The very bright workers at the gas station opened up a second line, which I walked over to. The old lady, who had just finished her argument with the little old man in front of her and was in front of me at the first line, was now behind me in the second line. And I could not make up the next part... not in my wildest dreams.

I am standing in line, waiting for the jackass behind the counter to figure out change for the person in front of me, when this "lady" comes up to me. She says (with a chuckle) "so now you are in front of me, when I was JUST in front of you in that line. uh huh." Now listen, Momma and Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter raised me to have manners-- especially when dealing with the elderly. HOWEVER, I am a huge proponent of giving respect when I get it. I don't know this chick, I already had an attitude and her tone about having to stay in line for one minute longer while that dumb jackass rang up my soda made me want to punch her in her face. She was giving me attitude for absolutely no reason. Had she cut her argument with the old man short, then she could have been standing where I was, instead of complaining.  I'm good for making a scene... and that is exactly what I did.

Me: "Oh, you can feel free to get in front of me. I mean, I just came to this line when that young man announced he was open... but go ahead." 1- My tone mirrored hers, so it was not pleasant. 2- I said it SO loud that the entire store stood still. I didn't really care- she was being rude. If you are rude, you get rude in return. She did say thank you in a smart ass tone when she left... and I absolutely told her she was welcome. I need old people to know the following: Just because you have had a few decades of birthdays, does not mean that you get to treat people like trash with no repercussions. If you throw out attitude for no reason, please know that I am giving that shit right back to you-- 18, 25, 45 or 65+. If you want something from me, you better learn how to ask... or be prepared to be embarrassed in front of a whole gas station of people.

And let me just say: had she asked to get in front of me, I would have let her. All she had to do was ask, but instead she had to be an asshole. Even the caffeine that I purchased didn't make my disposition any more pleasant. I was so irritated that I gave myself a timeout and had to lay it down for a nap. I was a little better when I woke up (I stress a little better)... and then was up all night. Sigh. I can't wait until this move is over. Then I can return to my regular non pleasant self, instead of being the reigning Queen of Bitchland. Oh well, one day at a time...

Soulful Saturday - Freddie Jackson

Let's just consider this post (among several others) as my ode to the 80s... because I think it has been that long since Freddie has had a hit. However, these ARE classics that you can listen to over and over again, so I guess he really does not HAVE to come out with one more album... but come on. We all need more music videos with big hair, shoulder pads, sparkling sport coats and great R&B lyrics, right? Right!

 You Are My Lady



 Have You Ever Loved Somebody



 Rock Me Tonight



 Jam Tonight

Fed Up Friday - Cheaters at Work

So, it has been a while since I have posted a Fed Up Friday. Not that I haven't been fed up... I have. There has just been limited time to post AND by the time I get off work on Friday, it is technically Saturday. Fed Up Saturday just doesn't have the same ring to it, now does it?

This Friday we are gonna talk about cheaters. Before I go to work to look at all the cheaters. Listen... there is so much cheating going on at work that I am anticipating seeing the camera crew from the show 'Cheaters' in the parking lot after work. I'm not kidding. Married people seem to forget their vows at the entrance. It is crazy.

Now listen- I don't care who is doing what, with whom or where, but there are a few comments I want to make.

1- if you have small children at home (let's say 3 and under) and you are still living with their mother... and you find it necessary to have a mistress at work, you are a douchebag. If you have a WIFE at home and are currently fucking some stupid, ugly chick who works on the other side of the plant, you are an even bigger douchebag. Here is my issue: we are all grown ups. If you want to end a relationship and start another one, please do that. All it takes is a conversation. It should go something like this "hey honey- I am not really feeling "us" anymore and think that both of us should move on." It takes all of two minutes. I mean, if you are cheating already, you clearly don't care about that person's feelings so it isn't like it needs to be a long conversation, right? You give this courtesy conversation so that the other person has a chance to weigh the situation with all the facts in hand. It really is the least that you could do. Really.

2- if you feel like you HAVE to cheat,  let's all agree that the parking lot at work is NOT the place to have sex. Really. Should I even have to type that out? Two adults, both with well paying jobs... the parking lot should not even be an option. If you can't find a more suitable place then you PROBABLY shouldn't be doing whatever it is that you are doing. We are not teenagers, y'all. Find a bed, in a house or a hotel. For all our sakes. Your back will thank you... we aren't getting any younger. Plus, all of your coworkers think you're stupid sluts. Because you are.

3- if you are cheating, do not ask a newly engaged person for advice. I don't want to know what your issues are. I really don't care. In any case, no matter how persuasive you think your argument is, I am going to refer to #1. If you continue to tell me your story, I may end up telling your spouse. Because I am totally THAT type of bitch. I really think that you deserve all that you receive if you suffer from "I am sparing you feelings by NOT being honest" syndrome. Man up, asshole.

4- If you are the other woman in these "relationships" you need to be slapped. I have no special feelings for you, especially if you go into a relationship KNOWING that the man is married/taken. Hey- I am not one that is full blown, all out for the sisterhood. Most of y'all I can honestly do without, however, I have been the one that is cheated on- most of us have. And all those hurt feelings could have been avoided. It is unnecessary and not smart to be the other woman, because one day YOU will be the one at home while he is fucking that new chick in the parking lot. Also, you might need a quick check of the old self esteem if you are ok with banging some dick in the parking lot of your place of employment. I'm just saying... it doesn't say much about you. Hmmm, or maybe it does.

Let's all remember: nothing leads to you getting your ass handed to you faster than sleeping with the wrong person's significant other. Keep it in your pants!!

Soulful Saturday - Quincy Jones

By the time you read this post, I will be on my way back to work. Working six days a week blows, no matter how you slice it. People have been telling me that all this work is good... for my bank account, and it is. But it is bad for my sanity. Money is great, but not if you don't have time to spend it.

One night, I was on my way home from work and I heard one of my favorite songs 'Secret Garden' - a collaboration put together by Quincy Jones. Yes, he is more than just Rashida Jones' father... Y'all, I did a little research and it seems that when I wasn't paying attention, Mr. Jones turned 80!! Wow, ok that has no bearing on his music and I know that he has been around for a while, I just had no idea that he was 80. But, I digress.  Quincy Jones has worked with the best of the best in the music industry (read: Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra, The Brothers Johnson, Chaka Kahn, Tevin Campbell, Michael Jackson, Patti Austin, Lena Horne and Sarah Vaughan - just to name a few) for decades and the expertise that he has shows in the final product. Amazing!! If you are reading this Soulful Saturday, watch out- what comes next is REAL music that will make your life right! ;)

Tomorrow

*Um, I love Tevin Campbell (see his Soulful Saturday for the evidence). For real. I love him. This was the first time I heard his voice and I was lovestruck immediately. What a great talent. Plus we are around the same age. He is 11 in this video. Digest that!
*Quicy Jones is the chorus director in this video. He is a precious little man.




The Secret Garden

*Side note: Seriously, how CAN a slow song go wrong when Barry White and James Ingram are singing? Add the lovely light brites Al B. Sure and El DeBarge and you have slow song genius. I dare you to object!
* PS- the title alone... I can NOT handle it!




Just Once 

*Bet you didn't know this was a Quicy Jones song! Again, James Ingram = slow song gold.




You Put A Move On My Heart

*Yes, that is Grant Hill's wife... and Quicy Jones makes a couple of appearances in this video also!

Wedding Whimsy - A Date (Finally)

You know when someone asks you a simple question, really simple, like "Oh, you're engaged? When are you getting married?" and you are instantly annoyed because you don't know the answer? So annoyed that you really feel like this person has invaded your privacy and should be slapped for it? Oh, no? That is just me? Oh, ok.

Since Lefty and I have announced our engagement everyone and their mother (literally) has been asking us when, when, when (???) and we have been ignoring the question. Seriously, right after someone gets engaged is so not the time to ask when they are getting married. One- you may not be invited to the shindig and two, if they wanted you to know AND they actually had a date, um, they would tell you, right? Right.

I know that a few people have been worrying themselves crazy about the date/time/plan for our wedding. Well, relax your minds people, we have settled on a date. We are getting married on Monday, December 23. We picked a Monday because we are going to have a very (VERY) small City Hall ceremony. When I type VERY small I really want you to read only our parents, siblings and the officiant will be in the room with us.

I know that this will upset some people- but let's not worry, we have planned ahead for that also. We are having a holiday/engagement/reception party on December 21 (time/place/details to be announced later). Yes, you read that right... it is BEFORE the wedding. This is where we will be inviting some of our friends and family members. We have also found a place to hold this lovely shindig (yay!!) so we are kicking things into high gear (just in enough time, since we have less than 8 months to put this whole thing on!) We have planned to keep both affairs very small - on purpose. And nontraditional - on purpose. I will not be headed down the aisle in a long, poufy white dress. I won't make Lefty wear a tux. We aren't following socially accepted wedding habits (hence having the reception FIRST). We are really going to make this wedding and celebration exactly what we want, which is exactly how every wedding SHOULD be.

I am sure that I will update the blog with our progress and hopefully I will post reviews on products that I try out in preparation for our two days of planned good times. Check out Instagram (hotblackbitter), Twitter (hotblackbitter) and the Facebook page for up to date updates! ;)