Father's Day 2016

Late night contemplations. It is 4:14 am. As I lie in bed with my daughter, listening to her deep, sleepy breaths while running my fingers through her curly hair, I wonder... what makes a dad? I mean, I know what makes a woman a "mother" - carrying a baby to term and delivering said baby. But does that make her a mom? Does that make her do the job of raising a child? Does it make her do that job well? I had a child, so I am mother, but do I embody the idea of being an active, fully participating/functioning mom? Likewise, what makes a dad? Some people in my family have a saying... anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a daddy. Being a father seems to be merely biological, while being a daddy-- that is where the work is.

A daddy takes care of his family; wakes up in the middle of the night to tend to a sick kid; breaks his back to make sure his family doesn't go without. A daddy works multiple jobs (if necessary), is a cheerleader in all aspects of life-- on the field and in the classroom. A daddy always wants to see his children have better than he did. Selfless. Hard working. Sensitive (even if it is secretly). A daddy is not faultless. He battles with his demons daily so they don't interfere with his ability to care for his family. He swallows his pride almost daily. And that is not an easy pill to swallow. It is like eating two thick ass peanut butter sandwiches on whole grain bread and then realizing that you don't have anything to drink. But he does it.

A daddy cries when his kids are hurt-- hurt by a bully, a love or by a fall. His heart breaks when his child can't be understood. He would take the pain for his kid, if he could. He teaches lessons that he had to learn the hard way. He takes the memories of all the times he felt lonely or unloved, and tries to make sure that his child never feels that pain. He is there to softly soothe the heartbroken, comfort the crying, discipline the naughty. He is everywhere without being (terribly) overbearing. He gives his all. He gives his all-- over and over and over again. His sons use him as a measuring stick to determine how to be men. His daughters use him as a gauge to determine what kind of treatment they should be looking for. He demands respect... and he has more than earned it.

I know the qualifications... because I have seen them met first hand. There have been times- many times- when I wished I had a dad that would lay off, not be so demanding or at least not demand my best, 100 per cent of the time. But where would I be if he was lax about his expectations? Truly, I would not be the person that I am today without my dad. I may be a heathen, y'all, but I thank God EVERY day for my parents. I thank God that he gave me a dad that showed me that I never had to settle to be in a relationship; that I am in charge of my own life. I am thankful that I have a dad who respects my mom. A dad who taught me that loyalty to family is the most important thing someone could possess, a dad that brags about me when I am not around... but never lets my head get too big. I'd be lost without him. He is an answer to all prayers for a caring dad. I am glad that my daughter has hubs and Pops to look to for an example of good men. I am glad that my siblings know that when everyone else is against them, mom and dad will always be there. Thanks for everything you do, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter. We all appreciate you more than you will ever know. Love and hugs!!

Tis The Season for…

Hello capitalism and those who love it! Tis the season for you to go out and buy a whole bunch of shit you don't need, so you can seem just a little cooler to people who don't (shouldn't) matter! Oh happy day! There are deals to be had! There will be small lines (woo hoo) and most things are on sale (supposedly). And hey, if you get the shopping done on Thursday, there will be less pressure when you are out shopping it up on Black Friday, right?

And you know what my vote is? Get your asses out there and shop it up!! I see all this fake concern on social media about stores opening on Thanksgiving. How we need to "keep family traditions" and not feed into the hype. Listen, get your asses in line!! No one was talking this Thanksgiving shit when the iPhone 5 came out. (BTW- why do people still stand in line for shit like that?) Get out there! Help strengthen the economy! Shop before, after and possibly while eating your turkey dinner. Get to the stores and buy your limit of deals under $100 and find a place to hide that shit so your bad ass kids don't find it before Christmas.

I don't care if you want to shop on Thanksgiving. And truthfully, no one else does either. They just want to raise some hell about something… anything. And if they do truly care about what you do on designated holidays (that you are not celebrating with them, in their home, with their families), then… I'm not going to say they are stupid, but those would NOT be the people I would look to for smart advice. The truth is that not everyone HAS family traditions that they participate in every Thanksgiving/holiday season. There are some people with NO family. There are some people (actually some people that I know) who think that Thanksgiving is just another day, and they don't celebrate. And that number is seemingly on the rise. I mean, the stores aren't just opening for one person. There has to be an economic win for stores to one on a holiday, pay people holiday pay wages and stock the store. Someone is going to show up.

And if that someone is not you-- don't worry about what other people are doing. It is not stopping your show. It is not stopping your family get together. It is not stopping the thousands of fake smiles and "yes, we should get together more often" conversations. Is it? No. You won't be on this high and mighty horse when you are opening presents on Christmas, or pushing old ladies out of the way on Black Friday. You definitely won't be saying that at around 6:00 on Thanksgiving evening when your family members are getting on your nerves so you leave to go to the movie theater, right? So you go right on ahead and enjoy your gluttonous holiday, celebrating the stealing of land; the downfall of the Native Americans; the original sin, as it were, on these shores of America. Now, how does it feel, Debbie Downer? Let those people shop if they want to!!

I, for one, will be hanging out with the Hot, Black and Bitter family and Lefty's family throughout the whole weekend. I will be laughing, taking pictures of my food and drinking more than I should. I will have on elastic waistband pants and an extra large t-shirt and I will fall in love with every piece of pie, every bit of my mashed potatoes and gravy and every forkful of my momma's macaroni and cheese. (Don't you judge me-- my mom makes the best Mac and Cheese around… and no, I will NOT be sharing). I will be thoroughly content and too busy (and thankful) to sit around judging people for not celebrating like I do. Whatever it is that you do during this season… do it and have a blast!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!