Monday, March 05, 2018

Oh Look, A Trade War

Last week, 45 took to Twitter (again) and started some unnecessary bullshit (again). Like every other hair brain idea he has, he followed up with some ridiculous argument that he is proud to have started this trade war and it is going to be good for the United States AND easy to win. I cannot believe that I have to type this, but trade wars are NOT good, for any country involved. Ever. I live in a state that is part of what folks call the "rustbelt" meaning that parts of Ohio was part of the once booming steel industry. Those areas are mostly desolate now. So when 45 talks about helping the steel industry, he is talking about parts of Ohio but his little plan isn't going to help Ohio or any other place in the rustbelt. Let's review a few things: 1. the United States of America operates in an international market, 2. the last time the US imposed tariffs it led to the Great Depression 3. we need a leader who can finesse a good deal, instead of being a fat, balding bully on the international stage. 

First: I know that everyone likes to think that the United States could make it on our own, but that ain't the way this party is set up. Our economy is tied to the economies of other countries, like it or not. Most notably we are tied to two countries that 45 is deadset on pissing off-- Mexico and Canada. When the US went through our recession, so did the rest of the world. We cannot just decide that we are going to make significant changes to our modus operandi and expect that we will make it out unscathed. Hell, as soon as 45 announced these new tariffs from hell OUR stock market plunged. It is like other people knew this latest policy change that flew out of his ass was not moving in the right direction. Honestly, the world market has been tied together since World War II... and for good reason. If 45 doesn't like the way that trade is handled with certain goods then he should invite diplomats to D.C. and talk about changing the present set up, like a normal fucking person. 

Second: 45 is what happens when people don't know the history of their country. I wish the assholes that voted for him could feel the wrath of this side-eye I am giving. Y'all. I mean, I know that at least SOME Americans know that Hoover was a President-- and a categorically bad one. He signed a "protectionist" tariff into law and guess what we got a year later? If you yelled out "The Great Depression" you would be right. That shit did not work in 1930 and it is not going work in 2018. If you want folks to use more American made steel and aluminum, make it easier and more cost effective for them to do so. Does 45 know exactly how many industries will be affected by his tariffs? Does he understand exactly what is going to happen to our economy? Do his supporters know that he is notorious for NOT using US Steel in his building projects? I mean, if I am being nice I would say that he doesn't understand much and certainly not the complexities of an economy where you can't just declare bankruptcy to solve your money problems. Hoover wasn't the only president that thought tariffs were the answer to our problems. Over and over again Republicans (W., Reagan, Nixon) have exposed us to tariffs that did not work. Why would anyone believe that this time would be any different?

Third: It takes a certain kind of person to be a politician... and there is a reason for that. Some folks are still acting like they voted for 45 because he was the anti-Washington guy. Yeah, ok... even if that was true (which it isn't but let's just pretend that it is) there is a reason why we gravitate to fucking smooth talking slicksters as our politicians. Ma'am, sir... those people talk and get shit done. They make it sound good. They make you feel good-- and they do the same thing to OTHER politicians. They compromise. That is how they get shit done. They aren't the bull in the china shop because they realize that situation only gives you a mess you have to clean up. Do you get it? That is the reason folks loved Barack. He was stable. Fucking smooth sailing most of the time. Shit, Bill Clinton could still sell ice to an Eskimo. Like it or not, American politics are not the advanced by coming to a decision when you are pissed off, writing it into law and SAYING that it is going to be great. That is not how this shit works. Fucking finesse me, man. But 45 can't... because his plan is shit and he knows it and so does everyone else. 

Starting a trade war will do nothing but hurt the United States. It will further break companies in the rustbelt. The economic fallout will be long-lasting. We are getting screwed by the president. Again. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Not Bothered On Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, my lovelies. Today I plan on hanging with my little family (hubs has the day off) and hopefully squeezing in a nap next to my very active toddler. That is all I want... nothing extravagant, just some lunch and a nap. It is the simple things, my friends. It is the simple things. 

I know that this is a rough day for some folks and I kind of want to address that. When I was single, I had a group of friends who could lead a "fuck Valentine's Day" parade. One year we ordered in and watched the same show, while talking to each other on the phone. Another year we went out the night before Valentine's and celebrated singleness. We found some comfort at the bottom of several shot glasses. Good times. But during all of those single years there was only one year where I really felt BAD about being single. One year out of 40, not bad. How does one make it to spinsterhood without feeling extremely rejected by everyone? Oh, I am so glad you asked!! 

There are three reasons why Valentine's Day never brought out a hot, Black and depressed chick... 1. I have always had a Valentine (Papa Hot, Black and Bitter). 2. Single is not forever. 3. NO matter what station you are at in life, trust me... someone wants what you have. 

The first two reasons why I was unbothered on Valentine's Day as a single are pretty self explanatory, but that third one is a doozy. Rest assured that on your worst day there is someone who would pay good money to be where you are. If being single is the worst thing that is going on in your life-- you have it made in the shade (mostly because number 2 is so very true-- single is not forever). Let's use me as an example. I am super comfortable with where I am in life right now. Shit is good. Life, for me, has been good. So, that one year when I really was down in the dumps on Valentine's Day... there was someone who would have felt lucky to be in my shoes. I think that is the case for almost all of us. While some of us are lamenting our single status, someone in a loveless relationship is wishing for carefree single days. When someone is at their wit's end with a toddler (and trust me, those days are REAL), there is someone WISHING for sweet times with a sweet baby. When there is someone bored to tears in a marriage, there is someone  who is craving the comfort of your routine. 

What you are looking for is coming. The person you are looking for is coming. But until they get to you... go out with your friends, have a couple drinks, buy yourself flowers, have a girl's weekend. Get your ass out there and have some fun. Happy Valentine's Day. 

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Soulful Sunday - I Work, Baby

This past week has been the first week of 2018 where I actually got some stuff done. We got back to Columbus on the first go January and Baby K came down with a cootie or two. Picture super clingy baby, exhausted mama, doctor visits, fevers, puke and poop. Yahoo, right? Not so much. 

Once we got from under that cloud I learned that another one of my friends passed away. One in December-- his memorial service was the second, and one in January... just a few days after his 46th birthday. The death of folks that you grew up with takes your breath away. Even if you know that they are ill, it is life altering to go to memorial services for people who are your age and have so much more life to live. 

So, I have been experiencing my own Private Idaho over here. But this last week, my mind has really kicked into gear and I have tried to get back to a regularly scheduled program around here. I have cooked a couple dinners, done some business planning, planned some PheMOMena Blog posts and taken Baby K out of the house a couple times. Here is to getting back on the horse and getting the job done. 

Big Daddy Kane - I Get The Job Done

Sunday, January 07, 2018

Soulful Sunday - New Year Edition

Well now-- welcome to the first full week of 2018! That seems so odd to type, mostly because the last time I was all the way "together" was about two years ago before I gave birth to the toddler that is now running through my house. Plus, when looking back on 2017, time seemed to fly by last year. I am glad that 2017 didn't drag-- it was a stressful year-- and I can only imagine that my stress level would have increased tenfold if the year moved at a snail's pace.

When I first started to do Soulful Saturday on this blog, it was mostly the list of songs I was listening to as I got ready to go out (yes!). Occasionally I would post songs that I was listening to as I lounged around the house reminiscing about high school loves, college parties, early 20s shenanigans... you know, all that good shit. Life is a lot different now. First of all, it is Sunday night, almost 10:30 pm and I haven't thought about spending a night out on the town in months. I would trade a night out for a nap. A well deserved, super NEEDED nap. And I would not be sad about it in the least.

So, while my musical tastes have NOT changed, the vibe that I have when posting good music has. I'm not getting dressed, plotting which high heels will stand up to a night of dancing around the club. These days I am typing a sentence or two in between chasing a chubby little girl with bouncing curls from room to room. And life is magnificent. That is the best thing that this blog shows me every year-- nothing stands still. I am ever evolving, ever learning, ever changing. And every day is a gift.

In that vein-- the song for this Soulful Sunday is super fitting for the first full week of 2018. It tells us what this year is giving us time to do... WORK. Work on ourselves. Work on our dreams. Work in our communities. Get to work, ladies and gentlemen. Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Real Life - Marriage

Welcome one and all to the Holiday Season!! This is supposed to be a time filled with joy and quality time with the ones you love. This is the time for giving and forgiving. This is the time to fill up on empty calories since you know one of your resolutions will be to get back to the gym. Oh, just me? Ok. Well, I just read an article about how, for some, the holiday season is the worst part of their year. During this time some folks experience more frequent bouts of depression... some of which is brought on my unrealistic expectations. I think today's heavy social media usage contributes to those unrealistic expectations. Example: Instagram and ALL her filters are the devil. Sis, ain't no way every room in your house is clean and your bowl of kale looks THAT good while you are a size zero with flawless skin... every day. Ain't NO way! 

So, in the interest of being transparent (and because everyone should know that NO one's life is picture perfect all the time), I am going to give you the low down on portions of my life. Here we go with the marriage edition.

First, let me say, I married my best friend. Hubs is just the right person for me to live out my life with. I am happy every day that I wake up and still have him as my partner. If you know us then you know, we balance each other out. Yin and Yang, as it were. He gives me this look when I am being a little ridiculous (and I also have a look for when he is going bonkers). I am not (as) bothered by the things that drive him up the wall. We (generally) hash out things in a constructive manner. We do not fight over money. Ever. He is more reserved, I am not. We take cute selfies and our baby is adorable.

Even with everything in the above paragraph being true-- and it is, there are still days that I want to punch him in the forehead. And, trust me, I KNOW that the feeling is mutual. If I am being completely honest, I am shocked that hubs hasn't thrown up his hands in despair at least once. Listen, marriage is hard-- even the best ones. When I see the divorce rate for the United States I am NOT shocked. Marriage is not like a Hallmark movie. Everything is not cut and dry and fundamental differences cannot be solved in two hours. 

While we are similar, we are definitely not the exact same. There are things that I cannot stand that do not bother my husband. There are things that I can deal with, like the current (and everlasting) messiness of my car, that drive him crazy. Want to know what drives ME crazy? An unorganized linen closet. Whose husband is haunted by an unorganized closet of towels? Oh, no ones? Exactly. It sure as hell drives me up the wall though. You get over it or you marry the one person in the world who can tell you to get over it. 

I know we are all enamored with the beautiful pictures of wedding ceremonies in far off, exotic places. We all cry tears of joy when our friends have their one special day, but marriage is more than that. Marriage is picking up after another grown up; and having someone to tell all your troubles to-- expecting that your secrets will always be safe. It is listening to the same story over and over because THIS set of friends haven't heard it yet. It is more than a huge diamond and a great engagement story. Marriage is day in and day out, giving up your "you" time but being happy about it. 

Don't trust those pictures on the internet. In fact, if you are following someone who pretends that everything is perfect, all the time, unfollow those assholes. That ain't real life. No one needs that negativity in their lives. Marriage is hard work that not everybody is built for. The only advice everyone should subscribe to, whether you have made it 30 years or 30 days, is be grateful for the love you have found and always let them know that you appreciate what they do. Be present in your marriage, whatever that looks like, and don't worry about Suzie Q down the lane... you aren't married to her.  Happy Holidays! 

Monday, December 04, 2017

Family Drama and Social Media

Social media is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because it has the ability to bring folks with common interests together... and a curse for the exact same reason. I mean, I can be planted in my warm house in Columbus, Ohio and participate in a "not so crafty" group with members in Europe, Australia, California or any other part of the world with a strong WiFi signal. Amazing, huh? I could also friend some crazy racists in a penal colony on some island somewhere. Not so amazing.

The main example of when social media is a curse is the ability to air out personal laundry for all to see. I FIRMLY believe that family drama should not ever be dealt with online. You take your hurt feelings to whoever you are pissed at and work it out. Everyone should not have the ability to to see you fall out with folks who know your deepest, darkest secrets. Now listen, do I fall out with my family? Hell yeah- there are about a million of us running around this city, we all live VERY close to one another and personalities differ greatly. With ten kids, that will always be the case. But, even in the midst of our own brand of craziness I have never felt the need to let everyone in the world know when one of my siblings is acting like an asshole-- with one exception, and I don't hardly regret it.

Not only do I NOT want my friends (and enemies) to know the weaknesses of my family members, I also do not want to let some duplicitous asshole know how to get to ME. I want folks to have to WORK to figure me out, I don't want to give these bastards a roadmap. So yeah, my clan is drama filled. If you are a close family friend, you MIGHT know a good 15% of what we are arguing about this week, but we handle our shit in house; like all families should. Now, y'all's president? He is a whole different story.

This weekend Tangerine Dream went on a Twitter rant against the FBI. Sir, no. Uh, that shit is not kosher. Not anywhere. Now, as a Black, American woman, do I have qualms about how the FBI (and other government agencies) deal with my community? Absolutely. I routinely call the police and other law enforcement agencies out on their bullshit, but I am a private citizen. It is not like I am the Police Commissioner yelling at the top of my lungs that my police officers are corrupt... because Police Commissioners don't do that. They handle shit quietly, face to face... privately. 

Now here we are with a president that people ALREADY think is not working in the interests of Americans, screaming about how fucked up our intelligence community is on a platform that everyone can see. Our enemies. Our allies. Just... everyone. The Commander-In-Chief laying out the government in-fighting for all to see. Why would he do that? Things that make you go hmm (or however they say 'hmm' in Russia). 

Monday, November 06, 2017

Manic Monday - Insomnia Strikes

Dammit, I cannot sleep. In fact, if there were an Olympic competition in NON-sleep, I could win. I mean, never in my life have I had such a shitty relationship with sleep-- not even the three years of hell known as law school. 

Generally, when I suffer from bouts of insomnia there is a reason. Watching too much news coverage is usually it... but I have been off back to back coverage of tragedies for a while. Seriously, I stopped that nonsense like three tragedies ago... my mind just couldn't take it. So, too much news isn't it... this time. 

For the last 18 months I have had a little human to watch, which messed with my shut eye. Ok, to be fair I didn't sleep well when I was heavily pregnant, so let's say for the last 20/21 months. But here I am, watching her little crazy ass sleep, so she isn't the reason that I am awake tonight. ALTHOUGH, her sleep schedule leaves a bit to be desired, if I am honest. But tonight, tonight is on me.

So, while I am sitting here calculating how much sleep I could realistically get before I have to take Baby K to her doctor appointment, my mind is all over the place. I just had an hour long argument with myself about what team I would cheer for if I wasn't an Ohio State fan. Just in case you are wondering: I would still be a huge Big 10 fan, because hello I am as Midwest as Midwest gets; AND there would be a tie as far as teams go. If I was NOT a Buckeye for Life I would either cheer for Northwestern (because their team colors are my favorite, also Academics are phenomenal) or Michigan State (spent extended time in East Lansing plus any team that beats that team in Ann Arbor is worthy of my praise). Penn State would come in a close third. If I were a traitor to the conference all together I would cheer for my alma mater, Miami University. If you only knew how much thought went into those decisions you would be shaking you head at me. I know it. 

Maybe it is because the holidays are coming up? We will see tons of family which is nice and also stressful as hell. Maybe it is because we have a family trip coming up? Maybe it is because it is November 6 and only half of my fall decorations are up? Thank you cards not mailed? Pictures not sent to family? Trying to get a business off the ground? Or it could be because your girl turned 40 a week and a half ago. Whatever it is, I need to get over it because I cannot sustain this wondrous personality with coffee and 4 hours of sleep a night. Get it together, girl! Sweet baby Jesus be a sleeping pill. 

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

I Have a Serious Problem

My book addiction has gotten out of control. Honestly, it is a problem. I have books that I purchased the first week they came out and I have yet to pick up. At last count I have 150 books around the house that I have been meaning to get to. Add to that the 148 on my e-books wish list on the Columbus Library website and the 200 on my "want to read" list on Goodreads and you can see that this is completely out of control. I even have 30 books that I have started to read and have not finished. They are just on my Goodreads list... staring at me, shaking their heads in disappointment.

Now that it is officially autumn (AKA the season of cuddle up with a hot drink and a book) I have decided to read these books and clear off some shelves. Really what that means is that I am not going to buy anymore books until I read the ones I have. I can read the books I have on my shelves and sell them to our favorite used bookstore, or give them to the library and then I can ramp up my supply again. 

I am going to use this opportunity to clear out some clutter AND make better use of Goodreads. At the beginning of every new year I sign up for a book challenge on Goodreads and every year, I fail. For 2017 I pledged 60 books. I'm holding strong at 7 (just finished one!) Seven. Y'all. And Ok, those seven books don't include the books that I read to my daughter, but really, I have got to be better about carving out some time for doing the things that I love and I love to read. There are series that I have not ever wanted to read (Twilight, Harry Potter), there are genres that I have left largely unexplored (Young Adult and Sci Fi); and there are genres that I will probably continue to avoid (romance). No matter. I need to continue to expand my mind and serve as an example to my kid, so I have to make time for (my) reading. 

I have just figured out how to create a book club on Goodreads, so I think that I am going to reach out to a few of my girlfriends and see if they would be interested in having a few discussions as I wade through this ever growing list of books. If we decide to make a book club, I will definitely let you all know, until then feel free to friend me on Goodreads and hold me accountable for getting my reading life together. You can also see what I am reading on Instagram (@hotblackbitterreads). I will post a pic of the book cover so you know what I am reading. Nerd on, loves. Nerd on. 

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Why Heathens Will Save the World

As a long-suffering social media addict, I am often bombarded with opinions from every side. Talking points I agree with strongly or disagree with completely. I mute stupid people; block the ultra ridiculous. Not a bad gig. As I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline, reading about the horrors of Hurricane Harvey, I came across several tweets by different folks that questioned why Joel Osteen's mega church wasn't open to shelter those that Harvey hit the hardest. After 3 days of being rightfully questioned about his motives and Christianity, Joel opened his dry stadium, er church to Houstonians. The whole concept of mega churches opening themselves up to the public brought up a couple things: 1. a conversation that hubs and I had a couple of weeks ago, 2. the thought that modern day churches don't follow the Jesus they are supposed to serve and 3. the idea that it will be heathens that save the world... c'mon and follow this logic. 

A couple of weeks ago hubs and I were gathered in our bedroom, watching the coverage of the tragedy in Charlottesville. I never tell him sappy shit like this, but my most favorite thing about our ever changing relationship is that we watch and comment on the news together. It is refreshing to have a partner that has sympathy and empathy for folks. Anyway. After Orange Julius' press conference there were many people, on both sides (ha ha) who commented "I'm a Christian and this outrages me." Business leaders and artists removed themselves from presidential councils, yet no evangelicals recused themselves. None of them were running for the door. None of them were calling the Tangerine Tyrant out on his shit. BUT guess who did call him out? That is right, heathens AKA those of us who are generally concerned about the welfare of others. 

And isn't caring about the welfare of others the job of the church? I mean, religion, at its very core, is trusting your Lord and loving your neighbor, right? I haven't reviewed ALL religions, but I have read up on a few and that tenet seems to be universal. So, I guess the real question is: when you look at the leaders of your church, do they serve as good examples? I've seen Joel Osteen in person-- at a Night of Hope in Chicago. I have purchased several of his books, but if I'm honest, I unfollowed him on Twitter when he said that the Tangerine Tyrant was a good man (because, eww, hell no). Joel is a "feel good" preacher. He smiles a lot and tells his legions of followers that our merciful God will bring them through their trials and tribulations. He says that... but is he a vehicle for those victories? Does he attempt to make it easier for his followers to turn their trials into triumph? If we use the current flooding in Houston as an example the answer is a resounding no. Once he was badgered, Osteen tweeted out his prayers for the city where he collects millions of tax free dollars every week then he put up a fundraising page on his church's website. It wasn't until us heathens shamed his ass on Twitter that he opened up his almost 17,000 seat church to those in need... TODAY. Uh, it has been raining since Friday. How very Christian of him. Oh Joel... if you know better, you are supposed to do better.

That is exactly what hubs and I talked a couple weeks ago: what is the role that the church should play in the lives of every day folks. Background: we don't live in the hood... but we are (technically) hood adjacent. So I ask hubs: "if you go to the next neighborhood over (like seriously, 1 mile away) what will you see on every other corner?" He had no idea, so I helped him out. You see a liquor store and a church. (Y'all, the truth). Presumably we know the role of the liquor store, but what role should the church play? Why are there so many? Why do there seem to be so many in failing neighborhoods? Most importantly: why do those neighborhoods continue to fail-- even if the churches are doing well? If the churches are doing well... and doing what they are supposed to do, like, I don't know, following the example of Jesus... would there still be folks in need? 

Even this heathen knows some scripture. Christians are supposed to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, take care of widows and orphans. (Matthew 25: 35-46; James 1:27) We are supposed to be examples-- the light of the world (Matt 5:14). We are supposed to follow the greatest commandment... (Matthew 22:36-40) But if we do that, why are there so many people suffering? Not just in Texas, but in the neighborhood down the street. If you give every Sunday in church... where does that money go? Who does it help? Is your church working in its neighborhood? Does your mens group serve as mentors to the young men in your neighborhood... or do they just shake their heads at the dudes on the corner? Does the ladies group at your church gossip about the pregnant girl in the back pew? Do they have weekly soup kitchen parties to feed the neighborhood's homeless? Since one of our political parties claims to be exceptionally "Christian" why do they not hold strong to the teachings of Jesus? Why does it seem like your resident heathens are the ones lighting the world with love and kindness? Food for thought.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Manic Monday - Change is Coming

I am on the cusp of being an adult. Ok, I know I'm married and have a kid, but honestly, in two months and four days I will be a for real grown up. I'm turning 40. With this new age bracket sprinting toward me, I am trying to do a few things differently. TRYING. 

My baby is starting to become a little walking bullhorn, so I am attempting to limit the time I call people out of their names in front of her. That's right, no more calling y'all's grandmas "rude bitches" when they cut me off in the grocery store aisle. I will also stop mumbling about ripping all those bobby pins out of their ice blue wigs if one more of them ask if I am my child's nanny. Yep, you're welcome. 

I'm trying to be a better person so I keep trying to let shit go. Like, when our basement flooded last month, I took a few deep breaths and built a bridge over all those shitty feelings I was having. Why? Because life is too short to sweat the small stuff... or some other cliche shit like that. Listen, I'm trying to be better because I am about to be old, my baby repeats all the inappropriate shit I say at a very high volume, I don't want to raise an asshole, I would NOT do well in jail AND I want to save all my real venom for when I am super old and no one can attempt to correct my bad behavior. 

All three of us were lounging on Sunday morning. Hubs and I were discussing politics, Baby K was running from room to room with nothing but a diaper and a smile on. The animals were hiding from her. Fun times. All of a sudden, this video popped up on my timeline. I immediately started to show my age by 1. knowing all the words, 2. naming all the people singing and 3. knowing who in the video was still alive. What can I say? This is a house full of delightfully corny people, led by yours truly. This song can be applied to SO many things going on in the world and the US right now. By the end of the song I was taking the words to heart (and seriously considering stealing Cyndi Lauper's hair color). Turning over a new leaf starts at home. With you and me. And 1980s icons. 

Happy Monday, y'all. Change is coming. 

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Wordless Wednesday - MAGA

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

If You Know Like I Know

Yesterday a young lady named Quantasia Sharpton, along with her attorney Lisa Bloom, held a press conference. In said press conference, Sharpton detailed her alleged sexual contact with the R&B singer Usher Raymond. Now, I don't know whether or not the sexual contact happened-- though I am leaning towards yes, because why else would she expose herself to the wrath of the prepubescent fans of an entertainer? Honestly, I don't care if they had sex or not. They were both adults at the time and Sharpton has said that she has tested negative for the sexually transmitted disease that Usher supposedly has. If that were the end of the situation... well, I wouldn't be writing about it. 

Nah. The situation couldn't be that tidy. Listen, I didn't watch the press conference, but while it was ongoing, I did log into Twitter and I saw all that I needed to. As soon as Sharpton hit the stage a good 85% of folks watching said that the interaction could not have happened. Not because they had the time to vet her story; not because she had a history of lying, or because Usher is such a choir boy. Nope, folks couldn't believe that Usher fucked this chick... because she is overweight. Um... 

So, are we all out here thinking that big folks don't get second looks? They don't get dicked down? Because of the size of their panties? That idea is laughable. Let me shed some light on those fat shaming eyes... 

If you know like I know: we all have a "fat" friend who has more sex than your "fit" friends; being thick is in style-- know that. Plus, what is that saying? You can be the ripest, juiciest peach on a tree and you will still run into someone who doesn't like peaches. Uh, 100% correct. Only extremely young and/or dumb folks think that smaller built folks are more lovable. 

If you know like I know: when asked, most men will tell you the size of a partner is not a concern. 100 pounds or 250 pounds, when it is about to go down, IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN. They don't care. And how many times do we have to see that scenario play out in real life? Uh, some men have a skinny wife and a larger sized mistress. It is what it is. 

If you know like I know, most of us are living in denial of our overweight status (ahem).

Finally, if you know like I know... most of y'all missed the entire point of that press conference. Yep, Lisa Bloom could have dressed her better (because personally, I don't think the color she was wearing flatters ANYone) but I digress. Who gives a fuck if that chick is big? We have an entertainer running through folks in our community and not sharing their STD status. That shit is dangerous, right? I mean, there are incurable diseases out there... right? And you and your little clique are upset because Usher may have had sexual contact with a larger girl-- but NOT upset that he is (possibly) fucking multiple folks with a dirty dick?? I need y'all to come on and get right. 

We have ALL done some questionable shit. I'm not judging that girl for sexual contact with Usher. Because if I was approached by my favorite entertainer on my 19th birthday, there is no telling what I would have done. I'm not even mad at Usher for having sex with as many people as he wants-- I mean, I think that is a perk of stardom. HOWEVER, that shit should be done responsibly. If you KNOW that you have a STD, you should be truthful. And if you don't know your STD status, you should get tested. Immediately. Folks need to realize that a baby is not the worst thing that can come from a sexual interaction. If you have the possibility of giving people a disease, man up and tell them that. There is a reason why it is against the law (in some states) to keep that info to yourself. It is about CONSENT. Consent to take on a possible lifetime of fighting a disease. And really... if you can't tell the person that you are about to be intimate with that you are harboring a disease... uh, your punk ass shouldn't be having sex.

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Soulful Saturday - 1992

1992. The year I started high school. Jesus. Making these flashback posts really makes me feel old. That is fine because if I feel old then the fact that I say shit like "we had the best music back then" fits the conversation. There are so many songs that were released in 1992 that speak to me-- way more than the ones that I have posted below. Luckily, most of the ones that I want to post have made it on previous Soulful Saturday lists (like Mary J. Blige singing One with U2, or the EnVogue ladies slaying us with Giving Him Something He Can Feel or Boyz II Men, you get the idea). What an amazing time for music. What an amazing time to be growing up and experiencing this art. What a privilege to be able to look back and say that, in one year, you experienced both Eric Clapton and Blind Melon. Arrested Development and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Pearl Jam. Lenny Kravitz. Shit, even Billy Ray Cyrus. These songs stick with you, like a great meal... they automatically transport you back to those happy, carefree times. The sad times. Teenage angst. Love. Loss. Life.

Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton

Damn, I wish I was your lover - Sophie B. Hawkins

Rhythm is a Dancer - Snap

Tennessee - Arrested Developement

No Rain - Blind Melon

Friday, June 30, 2017

Sexism In The City

The Tangerine Tyrant has struck again. At this point, I have to tell you, I'm not shocked at what comes out of his sick mouth. He is an asshole, and just like all assholes, he deals in shit. I expect absolute garbage to come out of his mouth. Every day. Yesterday he took to Twitter to pick a fight with Mika Brzezinski of the Morning Joe show. 

Now look, I don't really deal with the Morning Joe show. To me, they were WAY too chummy with the mango colored minstrel show during the election cycle, so I don't watch them. Supposedly the show has taken a turn now that Tangerine Tyrant is in the White House--clearly they said something that got under that clementine colored skin. Whatever was said on their show didn't warrant the response, but here we are. Again. 

Millions of people, myself included, ride 45's ass day in and day out-- because he is a political moron and has no business running our country. So why did he choose to talk shit about Mika? Because bullies know exactly who to go after. First, let's just get this out of the way: 45 does not have, nor as he ever had, respect for women. That's why he cheated on his first two wives; it is why he talks about his daughter in a sexualized manner (and allows others to do so); it is why he tells women what it would take for them to be a 10 in his eyes. He is a pig. He is emboldened by a Congress that also does not think highly of women-- that is the reason that pregnancy is a pre existing condition in the drafts of these health care bills and why men only panels are determining the care of American women. The Tangerine Tyrant picks on women because he knows that his base will back him up. And the women that voted for him? They all thought he was going to be their savior with a blond squirrel on his head, but he shows them EVERY day that he doesn't care about them, their daughters, their sisters, their mamas.

So, he knows that his base won't go against him--even the women. He knows that the useless Congress might pitch a fit the first day... and then they will go alone with whatever nonsense he puts in an Executive Order the next. They are spineless... yep Jason Chaffetz, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, we are looking at you. They won't do shit. Hell, 45 talked shit about Ted Cruz's wife TO TED'S FACE and that turd still kisses his ass. Jason said that he didn't know how he was going to tell his daughters that he supported a man like 45 after the Access Hollywood tape came out. How is that going, Jason. You comfortable supporting him now? How did that conversation go with your kids? Uh huh. They will ask him to stop (for optics) but they aren't going to do anything else. They certainly won't stand up to his demented ass. 

Mika hasn't been the only journalist that has something to say against the Clementine Colored Catastrophe... so WHY was she cherry picked for abuse? Jim Acosta has been giving his press secretary the business, nothing about his looks made it to a tweet. Anderson Cooper, Jake Tapper and Don Lemon have all taken swipes-- nothing about their faces or bodies have made it to Twitter. Why is that? You know why.

I'm from the Midwest. We are salt of the Earth people here. I learned a while ago what is right and what is wrong. Folks are on social media trying to make what y'all's president did ok. That shit is not ok. What would you do if Mika was your daughter? Would you be ok with the leader of your country objectifying your kid while a whole nation watches? Of course not. You want to know the kicker? That fucker was dead wrong, but will not ever apologize. He is not sorry and he will work tirelessly to make YOU think that an apology is owed to HIM. 

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