Thursday, May 18, 2017

Country Over Party

Wow, wow, wowzers. The daily life of an American citizen these days, am I right? Our news cycle is in overdrive. The idea that democracy itself is under attack is actually a viable talking point. The country is being led by a stooge... and there are legitimate questions about just whose team the stooge plays for-- the United States or Russia. As a citizen watching the quite frequent misses of this administration, I have to say that it is ALL disturbing. The attack on our fundamental values. This dismissive attitude towards the elderly, the poor, minorities and women are alarming (to say the very least). The inability to admit the current administrations faults is mind numbing. For me, the worst sin is the adamant defense of EVERYTHING that Tangerine Dream does. It is irritating and insulting. 

I have no issue in stating (every day, all day) that I am no fan of Tangerine Dream. I have never been. I knew that there were problems with Hillary and wrote that. I have and will continue to dislike Bernie Sanders, but even I would take his fake ass over the Orange Occupant of the White House. Because I am a thinking person, I know that no matter WHO is in the White House they will not satisfy MY agenda 100% of the time. It is impossible. Example: I love Barack Obama. I voted for him twice; if possible I would have voted for him again. I love his family, his demeanor, his deliberate walk and speech patterns. However, Barack and I didn't see eye to eye on some things. Not just White House things... I lived in Illinois when he was a U.S. Senator. I know now and I knew then that sometimes he would have to do some things that I didn't like... for the greater good. That is the life of ANY politician. So the idea that everyone in the White House agrees with EVERY move that the Orange Oligarch says and does insults my intelligence. That shit is impossible. Seriously. 

As the weeks go on and the news keeps coming, I have but one hope for politicians that represent U.S. citizens: I hope (and pray, if that helps) that they choose Country over Party. Listen, I am not a bitter liberal, ok? I get that both the House and Senate are overrun with Republicans. I get that a small number of folks wanted Tangerine Dream in the White House. I get that we lost in November-- and I don't dispute it. I get that there are differences between the parties-- always have been, always will be. What I DON'T get is how those differences have led us HERE. We all want the same thing: we want to be able to live a free life, make money and take care of our families. It is true that there is more than one way to get to those goals, but is possible collusion with a foreign government one of those ways? Is being demeaning to our elderly, our poor one of those ways? Is giving a tax cut (or several) to the ultra rich one of those ways.... even though history has shown us that it doesn't work?? 


What we need right now is some level-headedness. Some common sense. The question is: where the hell are we going to get that? This administration certainly does not supply level-headedness. Hell no on the common sense also. I mean, Pence seems to be right in the mix of all this lawlessness. Paul Ryan just shucks, jives and agrees (even though Tangerine Dream has thrown his ass under the bus SEVERAL times). Orrin Hatch = hot mess. Jeff Sessions = hotter mess. All the appointees thus far have been absolutely ridiculous and unqualified (ok, maybe 2 were qualified). So where does that leave us? Hoping and wishing that these fools choose US over loyalty to a party that seems to be out to get us. Hoping that our Representatives represent our needs. Wishing that we had pushed for Congressional term limits?? Sweet Jesus, take the wheel. 


Monday, May 01, 2017

An Officer, Certainly No Gentleman

Almost one month ago an incident took place on the north side of my fair city and video evidence of a police officer kicking a handcuffed suspect in the face was released. Scratch that-- the video clearly shows said suspect, Demarko Anderson, lying on his stomach, hands cuffed behind his back, submitting to a different police officer when he was kicked in the face. I think that I reposted the original news story on my Facebook page, but then I just sat back and waited for it all to be revealed. And what was revealed was predictable and disappointing. 

The same officer that was in the news last summer for the murder of Henry Green was confirmed as the officer attempting to stomp out Mr. Anderson on this video. That's right... Zachary Rosen, one of the two cops involved in the Henry Green shooting last summer, was caught, on camera, involved in yet another indictable offense. Let's talk about this... 

I have always maintained that this blog was not a place to dog the police-- and it still is not. Being a police officer (or any kind of first responder, actually) is an incredibly tough job, no doubt. Plus, I don't want to be judged by the actions of all Black people, so I really do try my best not to slap a label on a whole group of people. In my opinion, it is lazy to do so. With that said-- I understand why folks are painting the police with a broad brush. I totally get it-- because if a Black person does something trifling or questionable, I am QUICK to call them out on it... to their face, on social media, in letters to the editor of our local paper, etc. I cut them NO slack. But when officers partake in questionable, trifling actions the only thing you get is a little statement that says "Officer so and so is under investigation" and then after a few months of desk duty officer so and so is back on the streets, tormenting our neighborhoods. Need proof? Exhibit A should be last summer's Henry Green murder. The two officers involved were "investigated" and brought before a Grand Jury and what happened? Not one thing. Officer Rosen was released yet again on our neighborhoods to torment the same taxpayers who pay his salary.

Again, no way am I saying all cops are bad. That simply cannot be true-- in any large city, under any circumstance. There will ALWAYS be cops that choose that job for all the right reasons. In fact, some of the best folks I know serve our city. BUT, Zachary Rosen should not be allowed to police our streets ever again. At what point do we all, as a community (both civilians and police), hold officers like Rosen accountable? When is an "investigation" going to swing in the favor of the community? After he kills another mother's child? After he stomps on someone else's face? What else does he get to do to us? Who gets to be his next victim? Me? My husband? My baby??


Police, in every city, need the respect of their communities in order to do their jobs well. In order for them to GET respect, they need to earn it. How is supporting/hiding/aiding an officer like Zachary Rosen earning the respect of your citizenry? How is anything short of an independent investigation and criminal charges for Rosen earning the respect of those you are charged to protect and serve? How does the Columbus Police Department have the gall to leave these questions unanswered? We pay you. We help you. You are in our community-- we.are.you. At least that is how it is supposed to be. Bottom line: the police want us to trust them... I want the police to earn it.


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Heartbreak In Cleveland

I can't be the only one who hates to see their home state in the news. Truth be told, Ohio has made nationwide news a lot lately-- and I am not a fan. The news stories are always THE WORST and totally not representative of this great state. I imagine that when asked, most people think that Ohio is a sleepy state, filled to the brim with fields of cows, corn and wheat. Oh, and somewhere in those fields there is a football stadium where Ohio State plays (and wins). Clearly, that isn't representative of our state either... but I would take that imagery versus what has been in the news (several heroin overdoses, kidnappings, child abuse and murders).

Easter Sunday was really relaxed at the Hot, Black and Bitter Palace. We didn't go to church (heathens) so we were hanging out, waiting for Baby K to get a good nap in before going shopping (holiday= less people out, thank you sweet baby Jesus). She was napping when we heard the news. Some random goofy dude shot an elderly man on the streets of Cleveland. Now listen, I am wary of "trending news" because sometimes it isn't true and if you post it on social media, you look dumb as hell... then all your smart friends tell you that you are dumb as hell... so I try not to participate in passing shit around until I know it is true. I waited for confirmation from the Cleveland Police Department. We all got it. A douchebag (who has a name, but you won't see it here because fuck him) pulled his car over and shot an elderly man who was minding his own business. Why? Because his girlfriend ended their relationship and he just could NOT handle himself.

A few things: that break up did not make him "snap" He was looking for an excuse to do some destructive shit. He was calm when he walked up to Mr. Godwin, has small talk and recorded himself shooting that man... FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. The loss of a woman didn't do that. Nah. I have had bad break ups and never once have I thought, "you know what? I should go shoot someone." Not once. Because people don't do shit like that. Life is not all glitter and rainbows. Sometimes Life fucks you up. Sometimes Life grabs you and throws you down a couple times. GET YOUR ASS BACK UP. It happens to everyone. Break ups happen. Bills happen. Life happens.

Point Two: I have to admit that the fact that some of y'all keyboard ninjas "investigated" the ex girlfriend irked the hell out of me. She was investigated so tough that she issued a statement/apology. She had nothing to apologize for. Clearly, she did exactly what she needed to do: she got away from that asshole.

Point Three: Mr. Godwin's family issued a statement (before that animal took his own life) asking for him to turn himself in and stating that they forgive him. AIN'T NO WAY. Nope. And I don't give a shiny shit in a leprechaun's pot of gold if that makes me the pettiest person on the face of God's green Earth. Listen to me when I tell you, if you commit a crime against one of my family members forgiveness is going to be the LAST possible thing on my mind. Call me a bitch... whatever, I may not ever get to forgiveness. I'm ok with that.

Last point: After being confronted by Pennsylvania law enforcement officers this fuckbag killed himself yesterday. Hardest eyeroll EVER. I mean, if his death was his endgame all along why did he... you know what, nevermind.

I am absolutely heartbroken for the Godwin family. In all sincerity, they are in my daily prayers. I could not imagine what they are facing. I know I say it a lot, y'all, but hug your babies... your family... your spouse. It is getting rough out here.

Saturday, April 01, 2017

Aggressive Behavior

Let's have a little discussion about misplaced aggressive behavior. My feathers are all sort of ruffled because two days ago, in my fair city, there was a shooting at a mall. Now, truthfully, this is disturbing for several reasons. 1. These are grown ass women-- not teenagers (not that teens would get a pass either, but you get what I'm saying) 2. The mall is not far from where I live, 3. Shooting people... at any mall? Awful and 3. it has been reported that the ongoing fight that started this whole clusterfuck was about some dude. Y'all. Ladies... please know that I am typing this while giving the deepest, most slanderous side eye that I can muster. Let me summarize the story: Both ladies (using that term lightly) had a child with the same douche. Douche is now incarcerated. Lady A was interviewing for a job at the mall. Lady B saw her, argued and shot her. Lady A is in the hospital. Lady B was arrested and has bonded out of jail. AND, the families of these two "ladies" had a scuffle at the shooter's arraignment. Ma'am, what?!

Now let's be real-- I have raised my voice over a guy, absolutely. I have cussed some folks O-U-T for their behavior while we were dating. They deserved it and I still don't feel bad. But what I have never done is SHOOT someone or done anything that would have me facing jail time over some guy. Not me. I am not the one. I have said several times that I am too pretty for prison (still true) but I have to point out that I am also allergic to looking stupid. And there is no doubt that if you get carted off to jail for fighting over a guy... you look stupid.

When my sister and I were growing up, our parents used to constantly tell us "don't you leave this house and embarrass this family." I think people, women especially, need to hold this rule in high regard. You are fighting over some dude and your family and friends have to watch the replay of your stupidity on the 5, 6 and 11 o'clock news? Come on, don't do that. There is not a man shortage out here. There isn't. And even if there were, you going to jail for shooting someone is not going to help your situation, now is it? 


I firmly believe that if more women had attentive and loving parents in their lives during their formative years, shit like this would not happen. Clearly, the shooter needed someone to make her feel good about herself; needed some extra love and hugs or something.  Shit, not for nothing, she really shouldn't even be upset with that chick she shot. She should be mad at the douche she procreated with... and herself. She needs to focus her anger on the correct person. Truthfully, as soon as I found out that he was expecting a child with someone else I would have been done with him... nothing more to say. Lesson of the day is that misplaced aggression with get you a felony count and some jail time. Keep it classy.

April Showers

Welcome to April, folks!! There is so much on deck for this month. We will be celebrating one whole year of parenthood-- and it seems like this year has flown by. In an effort to continue to write down all the feels/frustrations/celebrations/milestones that we will see or have seen, I have joined the A to Z challenge for the month of April. The rules are simple: Every day of the month (except the first 4 Sundays) is a letter in the alphabet, April 1st = A, April 3rd = B, etc. Because April starts on a Saturday, the last Sunday will be the Z entry. Twenty six letters, twenty six entries. Both blogs. Should be a lot of work... but also fun and exciting. I am going to HAVE to schedule most of these posts in advance because toddler life is unpredictable, but I am excited to write more-- even if that means missing out on some nap time. Hopefully all these posts will be up before 8 pm, but no promises on that because, again, toddler life is traumatic for the mama! So, stay tuned... I think we are going to get to know each other well. 


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Common Sense Politics - Medical Insurance

I know, I know. You looked at the title of this entry and you immediately were like common sense and politics don't even go together... especially now-a-days, right? I disagree. While our current administration is full of clowns putting on a daily show, common sense and politics CAN go together.  Every issue has a common sense solution, something that may not be what everyone wants, but what will benefit the most people. With that in mind, let's talk health insurance.

Supposedly a big vote is going to take place on Thursday. Congress wants to try to pass that piss poor AHCA (aka American Health Care Act aka Trumpcare). Now listen, I have never made it any secret that I am not a Republican, right? That is not the reason I vehemently oppose this health care act. Simply put, I oppose the ACHA because it will hurt a lot of my fellow Americans. Almost every report that has reviewed the ACHA has said that the number of uninsured Americans will go up,  premiums will be unaffordable and insurance companies will be able to deny coverage. Before we get into this, I realize that if you are one of those people that bitch about how the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) is the worst thing to ever happen to America since us commie liberals made y'all take down the Ten Commandments from your small town courthouses... uh, you might not get what I am about to type. It is ok. I'll make it plain enough for you to get it. Yep, even you. So, let's get into it.

For the record, I have insurance through Lefty's employer. We are not covered under the ACA, nor would we be covered under ACHA. I do not see the Affordable Care Act as the end all, be all. It certainly should NOT be the end of America searching for a cure to our outlandishly high health care costs. Not even close. There ARE problems with the ACA. I appreciate it for what it is-- a beginning point. With that said, it is absolutely my belief that the ACA is beneficial to more people-- right now. I searched Twitter to see WHY people are so opposed to ACA and the top three reasons are: 1. they didn't know that the ACA and "Obamacare" are the same thing; 2. they hate that the government is "making" them get insurance and 3. they are pissed because premiums have gone up for their family. Common sense can be used to address all three of these concerns. Some of y'all are not going to like my delivery, but that won't negate the validity of the answers (so suck it up, buttercup and get ready for this truth).

To address number 1: if you are/were enrolled in and served by the ACA but didn't know that it was also called "Obamacare" you need to get your life together. I mean, you are just stupid. If you went to rallies to scream about how "Obamacare" is terrible/ruining our country/needs to be repealed and replaced, not realizing that you are covered under THAT very program you should be made to go home and only be allowed to watch CSPAN until you are able to pull your head out of your ass. You should not be allowed to mingle with the public. You're dumb and the ACA is the least of your problems. Honestly.

Number 2: if you are a true conservative, seeking smaller government, I guess I could see that you would be miffed that the big bad government is making you get medical insurance. I guess. But even if I let that slide, there are so many instances where Americans are mandated to do something. Since I own a car, I have to have insurance, right? You know why? Because if I get in a wreck someone will have to pay for property damage and physical injury. Have to have it, and if I roll the dice and choose not to get car insurance, I will have to pay the price for that. Why are people expecting health insurance to be held to a different standard? Common sense would dictate that you should have health insurance, especially since you and your family could be bankrupted by a visit to the emergency room.

Number 3: Premiums have gone up. Yep. Especially if you are young and healthy. That is how this works. The young(er) and healthier generally pay more. And from what I have read about ACHA, your premiums are going to skyrocket if that act is passed. I know that some people are convinced that their premium went up ONLY because of the ACA. You poor souls. I know. But, your premium going up has more to do with the bottom line of your insurance company, rising health care costs and rising numbers of extremely sick Americans.

Here is the deal: everyone should have health insurance. A major illness could be catastrophic for a family without insurance. I saw the bills after I gave birth to my daughter last year. Without insurance my stay in the hospital would have been $50K+ and hers would have been $20K. Seventy thousand dollars for the birth of a child. Health care costs are out of control. What SHOULD happen is: Congress (all of whom have health insurance that the American public pays for) should build upon the ACA. They should make sure that everyone can be covered-- even if they have had pre-existing conditions, the insurance should be affordable and there should be a reward for medical professionals who work efficiently while caring for patients. Is this possible? Yep. Will it be easy? Nope. But we should not allow them to skate on this. After all, I am sure that the insurance we provide them with is A+.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Valentine's Day Recap

Why has it taken me so long to post this? My house has an infant crawling around... and I have been under-caffeinated, but never fear... I am back!! 

Here is a shocker: I don't really DO Valentine's Day. SURPRISE!! I mean, I get the "day of love" idea and I don't want to minimize whatever it means to other folks, but it has never really been my thing. I have always had a Valentine. And I realize how ridiculously pompous THAT sounds, but stick with me here. I have always had a Valentine because my DAD has always been my Valentine. He is so cute and has always made sure to wish my sister and I a Happy Valentine's Day for as long as I can remember-- didn't matter if we were dating someone or single. Not for nothing, but there is something to be said a father's involvement in the life of his daughter. I grew up expecting certain things from the men I dated... but that is for another blog entry. 

Now I have three built in Valentines-- my dad, Lefty and Baby K. Lefty is super sweet and complete "gets" that I am not really a Valentine's Day kind girl. He gave me exactly what I wanted this year-- an extended nap, candy and lunch. Yep, I am totally that girl. He did also get me some flowers, and Cat Knapp spent the week thinking of how he could eat said blooms without getting caught (which is the reason I don't really do flowers). The nap? BEST.PRESENT.EVER. I felt like a new woman. Between that and the present that my dad dropped off, I might be able to be human again... on a semi-regular basis. 

Baby K and I have been in deep conversations about her sleep schedule, or lack thereof. This conversation has been going on for 3 months. During these 3 months, mama has been... testy, to say the very least. The week before Valentine's Day I went into my kitchen to start my second carafe of coffee and the noise that came out of my coffeemaker was something out of a horror film. Needless to say, I was none too pleased and posted a Facebook status saying exactly that. Note: that coffeemaker died the week after Valentine's Day, so that makes the next paragraph even MORE beautiful.

Welp, on Valentine's Day Papa Hot, Black and Bitter sent me a text in the wee hours of the morning (like 7:45 or so) and of course Baby K and I were awake. He said that he had my Valentine Cup O' Joe and he would be over shortly. I thought that he got me a cup of coffee (and a donut because... uh, I'm phat like that- LOL). Baby K and I went into our library and waited for Pops to pull up. Y'all... look what my first and forever Valentine got me. 




Between Papa Hot, Black and Bitter and Lefty I am the luckiest girl in the world. Be jealous.



Friday, January 27, 2017

Fed Up Friday - Political Apathy

I can't lie, since the election I have been very hit or miss on social media. Ok, that is not exactly true. I'm ON social media, but I don't always comment. I SEE what is going on, but I kind of just operate in silence. For example, I have seen some online acquaintances say some really stupid shit and I have quietly deleted them. Seriously, my friend list has decreased by a good 10% so far... and I am working on getting my number down even further. A few years ago, I would have unfriended people AFTER they felt my Hot, Black and Bitter wrath, but I have to confess: that is no longer my M.O. because, fuck it, I just don't care to have the needed conversation. 

As a stay at home (new) mom, I spend way too much time on social media- especially while my chubby bunny dozes 30 minutes at a time. For the last week, my timelines have been filled to the brim with coverage of politics, protests and analysis. In the last two days I have seen an uptick in the "why does everyone keep posting about politics?" posts. Uh... Listen, I get it, politics isn't everyone's game, but let me tell you something: APATHY IS WHAT GOT YOU (US) HERE.

Politics can be troubling, especially during times like these. Politics can be uncomfortable, especially during times like these. Politics WILL BE DIVISIVE-- and they should be. Do you know why folks don't discuss politics on a regular basis? Because politics show the INNER you. Not the fake you that you post about on Facebook. Not the "you" that you aspire to on Pinterest. Not that fake life you advertise on Instagram. The REAL you. Politics show what is important to you; what, ultimately, you say that you can deal with. What means can justify the end result. Who you are willing to sacrifice so that your lifestyle can continue. So two months ago, when Tangerine Dream won the electoral college, it showed where people were in life. And listen, you have to be ready to defend that. You have to ready to go toe to toe for what you believe. You don't get to vote for a mini hand, orange colored dictator and not be questioned. You don't get to put a (self admitted) serial pussy grabber in office and not have to answer for that. You don't get to vote for someone who has absolutely NO regard for the lives of minority Americans... or immigrants... or the working population... or, fuck it, the truth... Someone who seems hell bent on making enemies of every ally The United States of America has-- and then get mad when someone shines a light in your face. 


As long as you are MY acquaintance on social media, you are going to get these political memes. You will get these blog entries. If I am feeling particularly randy one day, you will see what I tweet about y'all's president. You gave us this "gift" so now you need to live in your truth and soak this shit up. If you DIDN'T vote, you are responsible. If you voted for a third party candidate, you gave us this child ruler. If you voted for Tangerine Dream, you can catch these memes for the next 4 years, every day, and your punk ass will like it. This is what y'all wanted, right? So, deal. Apathy can't live here anymore. You not giving a shit is what got us in this mess.


Thursday, January 12, 2017

Fearless

I said a prayer for you last night. It was a selfish prayer. I asked God to give you more time; to not take you from me, from your wife, from your friends. I wanted some extra time to hear you laugh while telling me a story. I wanted another hug. I wanted you to see my big baby one more time. It was selfish. I wanted to make sure you got to stay here... because I don't want you leave us.

I recognize that I said the wrong prayer. I asked God to keep you here (for all of us), when I should have been asking him to spare you any more pain. I should have asked God to open up his arms and take you into Heaven on maize and blue colored clouds (just for you). I should have thanked him for all the years we have had with you so far-- those years when I saw you working with mom and dad. All those times that you told me that I could be anything I wanted-- even if I wanted to be bossy (thank you, ma'am). All the times you told your friends that they should read this blog. All the times you told me that I should quit whatever job I had and be a full time writer. I should have thanked God for our reconnection last year... and you meeting my baby (honey, WHO thought that would have ever happened!?) and my husband. I should have thanked God for allowing you to see mom and dad again; for our group prayer; for picking up RIGHT where we left off. 

My dearest Fran: you are the epitome of family. Let me tell you: blood couldn't make us any closer. You always met folks with a smile, a pat on the back, a hilarious story about some mishap. You showed me what it meant to be comfortable living your truth-- and you did just that. When necessary you never hesitated to call people by their correct name (like asshole... and I PROUDLY carry on that tradition). You are a building block in the life of this Hot, Black and Bitter woman. We go together like permed hair, acid washed jeans and the 1980s (you remember THOSE pictures?! Yikes). THANK YOU FOR LOVING US. I love you and I will forever be grateful that God put you in my life. 


Wednesday, January 11, 2017

New Year Resolutions

Here we are, eleven days into the new year and here I am, finally sharing my resolutions with y'all. My bad. Generally, I do try to stay on top of posts and stuff, but 1. I don't really DO resolutions and 2. I have been a little busy with this fast growing, spunky infant. So as I sit here, in the dark, trying not to type too hard (so I don't wake the aforementioned spunky infant) telling y'all what I hope will happen in 2017... ok, what I will work toward in 2017. 

I have five outstanding goals for 2017. They aren't in any particular order because by December 31, I want all of them to be done! I know that these will be challenging and I can do challenging. Challenging is not impossible-- and I am sure that I will remind myself of that every freaking day of the year... while drinking tons of coffee and daydreaming about getting a massage. So without further adieu-- here are my five "resolutions" for the next 354 days.

1. Write More. Ok, let me tell you that goal number one, two and three could be one, but I am separating them. This year I want to write more. Last week was my 11 year anniversary for this blog and last year (understandably) blogging was not necessarily a priority. I do want to make writing a priority though, because it is definitely a stress reliever for me... and I have been told that I am ok at it! I have this blog, a "mommy" blog and will be restarting a doggie blog-- and I want all three of them to thrive. I want to stick to a posting schedule (Wednesday and Friday) and get back into the groove. 

2. Carve Out A Little More Me Time. It is hard to take me time when you have a small human crawling around, but I know that I need it. These last 9 months (9 months ALREADY) have flown by... flown by with limited sleep, limited showers and a very steep learning curve. Y'all, I wouldn't change it, but BABY there are some days that I would trade one of the dogs for a 45 minute nap. I know that I can't give Baby K or Lefty 100% if I am not 100%, so I need to set aside some time to replenish myself. A woman cannot live on coffee alone... or some shit like that, right?! That includes getting back into exercise. No secret that I turn the big 4-0 this year (or maybe it WAS a secret); bottom line, your girl needs to work out a schedule that includes her as a priority.

3. Read More. For Christmas Mama and Papa Hot, Black and Bitter got me a book by my favorite author and I tried to remember the last time I finished a good book. It had been months. Months. For me months cannot go by without reading a good book ever again. Reading has always been an escape and somehow I think that is EXACTLY what I will need during the first year of this new political regime (cue the eye roll). In 2016 I did a GoodReads challenge, which I did not even come close to finishing. Last week I started a new challenge on GoodReads-- 60 books for the 2017. Years ago 60 books would have been a drop in the bucket... I hope to be able to finish and document these 60 books, whatever they may be.

4. Document Daily Life More. This is actually for Baby K. I don't really do pictures (of myself). I remember lots of funny stuff that has happened... but I want to make sure that I have life documented in some other way. Something a little more tangible... because this memory ain't what it used to be! So, I will probably be doing some instagram challenges or something like that-- something to guarantee that I will post every day. Combine that with number 1 and that is a whole lotta me in 2017. Let me add, with more documentation of daily life I will be forced to clean up my social media contacts-- friends, family and acquaintances will be re-evaluated.

5. Redo Three Rooms in the Hot, Black and Bitter Palace. This will make Lefty happy. I would like to finish (from curtain rods to flooring) three rooms in our house. I think that now is the time to redo some shit, since Baby K is making baby proofing necessary. Ok, really I am just looking for a reason to tear up and fix some shit. I spend a lot of time here-- time for me to hang a picture or two. 


So, how are y'all doing with your resolutions? Almost two weeks in... is there anything that you have already given up on?


Sunday, November 13, 2016

Election Reflections

Well now. Who would have thought that 2016 would be such a colossal shit show? We should have known that it would be awful when the Almighty came and took Prince, but nooooooo. We decided to press on and last week one more sign of the fucking apocalypse reared its ugly orange head. That's right. These United States of America elected the most unfit, uncouth, ridiculous bastard to be the leader of our country. And honestly, I just want to reach out and slap all the ass backward people who voted for this shit stain. That's right. This liberal is not over the fact that a moron and his cronies are going to be in charge come January. Not over it, ain't going to be over, don't want to be over it. 

One reason I can't get over it is because everyone is now coming out with one of three arguments: 1) not all White people voted for trump (he doesn't deserve capital letters, so he isn't getting any on this blog), 2) for those that did vote for him: "um, I'm not racist, but..." and 3) we all need to come together, love one another and forget what has been said/done for the good of country. 

All y'all muthaf**kas can kiss my ass. Since I have had to hear you "explain" since Wednesday, let me explain why those three sorry ass excuses are weak as hell. Let's go in order, shall we? 1) Yep, I am clear on the fact that not ALL White people voted for Tangerine Dream. I get that, BUT a vast majority of y'all fuckers did. Someone you know did. Someone you are related to did. Someone you talk to on a regular basis, who pretends to be your friend/sister/brother/ally DID vote for him. And you probably knew it was going to happen. And you probably didn't say anything. Listen, I don't deal in "ALL". I know ALL White folks didn't vote for him, just like I know ALL Black folks didn't vote for Hillary. I also know that whenever the subject of the election came up, people knew exactly where I stood, who I was voting for and why... and if they told me that they were voting for Tangerine Dream, I asked them WHY. I am not ashamed to say that I have distanced myself from many acquaintances and I will continue to do so as a direct result of this election. I've deleted some people from social media accounts as a precautionary measure. Not ashamed in the least. My sanity comes before y'all's fucked up feelings any day. 

2) "I did vote for Tangerine Dream, but I'm not racist..." Honestly, I stop listening after you say that you voted for him and my interest in talking to you ever again diminishes greatly. Listen, the majority of folks will show you exactly who they are, especially in times of trouble. Cap'n Cheeto showed us all who he was. He hit the stage running with that anti-Mexican rhetoric and some of y'all ate that shit up. He has routinely talked shit about women-- and that was BEFORE that Access Hollywood tape came out. He straight told y'all that he wants to ban Muslims and make the ones that remain register... like fucking chattel. Over and over again, he more than insinuated that Black folks have been relegated to the ghettos around the country, that we don't receive/take advantage of public education, we are lazy and we can't walk our streets without killing one another (Black folks only... so don't worry poor White people). His outreach to the LGBTQ community has been abysmal and his attack on the media damn near incited riots at his rallies. You saw all of that... and you voted for him anyway. You don't have shit to say to me. I don't want an explanation. You take responsibility for what's about to go down. Let it be known right now: if you voted for Cap'n Cheeto YOU decided that it was in your best interests and you didn't give a fuck what he said about the rest of us because you aren't in any of those groups. You may have a Black friend, sibling or spouse and you chose to fuck us all over. You knew that he was slinging racist/xenophobic/misogynistic thoughts and you voted for him anyway. Do you feel good about that? Of course you do, you inconsiderate bastard. So save the explanation-- your vote did all the necessary talking.

3) "We should all get along. Your candidate lost now let's all get behind Orange Faygo." You can totally miss me which all this bullshit. I know that it sounds good and everything, but that muthaf**ka directly threatens my family's livelihood, so this fall in line, step and fetch routine is not going to happen. One of my best friends is a married lesbian, I am not trying to "fall in line" while marriage equality is reversed. I'm a very pro-choice woman, I will not "fall in line" while Roe v. Wade is reversed. I am Black (and so is my daughter) there is no way I will stand still while Orange Faygo's henchmen try to bring back "stop and frisk" on the national stage. I am ME, there is NO WAY I am going to stand idly by and watch ANY group be maligned because some backwoods rednecks want to go back to 1900 when Blacks were still damn near slaves, women had no rights and White men were the ruling class. Hell no. 

I don't feel bad about my convictions. I will not rest until folks are treated equally. I will continue to be bitter (like I have been). I will not rest until my daughter knows that she should stand up for people, like her parents do. People will know that they have a place in my America. I will stand up as an ally for my LGBTQ friends, my Muslim friends, my Mexican friends, my Black friends, cops, women, liberals AND conservatives. I haven't changed and I will not change... even if we do have a small hand/dick/brain dictator at the helm.


Monday, October 17, 2016

Why I Won't See Birth Of A Nation

The movie Birth of a Nation came to a theater near you two weekends ago... and was promptly declared a "flop". Now there are articles being shared online blaming Black women for this box office flop and I really feel the need to address this. Let me just type this: I am sick to death of the idea that Black women get blamed for all the wrongdoings and downfalls of the Black community. Lately it seems like we are responsible for everything. It is our fault that we get married later in life or that we don't get married at all, that we have children out of wedlock, that Black men are jailed/killed/victims of brutality, That Black men marry outside our race, that our children are not productive, that the sky is blue and fucking grass is green. Now we (as a group) are blamed because a Black man's movie failed at the box office. I wasn't going to see Birth of a Nation. That hasn't changed. After all, I did tell Lefty that I wouldn't take him to anymore Black movies, because we have seen a lot. Date nights in this household... LOL. Seriously, there are several reasons why I really have no need to see this movie, the most glaring being:

**I already know the story. I mean, I am not trying to be too big a dick or anything, but I was a history major. I have studied this revolt. I know about it. I don't need to pay $15 to see it on-screen.**

That seems harsh when I read it. Oh well, that shit is true. If you don't know the story, please feel free to read up on Nat Turner, African American history, U.S. History. Let me just say: because I do know the story I feel comfortable in noting that this film about a slave revolt might not have been well received anyway. In all historical accounts, a large number of White folks were murdered during this uprising. In our current political climate here in America, the idea that downtrodden Black folks (you know, like, folks that are indiscriminately being killed by state actors like the police, or those being disenfranchised during this election season) would ban together and rise against their oppressors, could be seen as problematic. Maybe that is another reason that people didn't rush to see this movie. There is a rumor that Black women did not flock to see this movie because Nate Parker has a White wife. Uh, nope... that certainly is NOT the reason I didn't take my White husband to see this movie.

I don't know, and I don't get paid to guess so I will tell you the number one reason I won't see it: Nate Parker. That dude is so problematic. I get it-- he was found not guilty in the rape case against him. Good for him. A criminal record for an actor/director is not disqualifying for me. HOWEVER, when asked about the rape case and the subsequent suicide of the young woman involved, Nate Parker could NOT have been more repulsive. Listen, I get that the trial was probably a rough time for him, but he had to know that it was going to come up. Google is a hell of a thing-- he knew that it was made public. Why not show some sympathy for that girl's family? Why not show some... good fucking upbringing in your answers about it? I mean, I am not saying kiss anyone's ass. I'm saying that Parker COULD have said "That was a particularly hard time in my life and I feel bad that they young lady has taken her life... now let me tell you about this movie." Or, "that was a rough time for me, that young lady's family is in my thoughts and prayers." The way he (almost) cried for himself in that 60 minutes interview... he could have given some of that sympathy for that girl's family. I mean damn, I am a salty bitch, but even I act like I have feelings when speaking about victims and their families. And it isn't fake concern-- I didn't know that young woman but I feel bad that she was sexually assaulted. I feel bad that she thought that her only option was to take her own life. And that is an outside person looking in on this shit show.

I am many things: Black, woman, liberal, feminist, wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc. I feel sympathy and empathy for many groups and people. Nate Parker could have been better. I think he knows that. I have (almost) moved past yelling at people to get my point across. When the jury in the George Zimmerman trial found that fucker not guilty, I swore off the entire state of Florida. I haven't vacationed there, hell, I don't even buy Florida oranges. I vote with my money-- every day. It may not be much, but it is what I am able to do. Hell, I wanted to see the movie Sully. Tom Hanks is in it and it looked good, but it was directed by Clint Eastwood, who has lost his damn mind, so that was a no go. I want to see Hacksaw Ridge, which comes out soon, but it was directed by Mel Gibson, so... hell no. So, again, I will vote with my money and not see Birth of a Nation, but all the people blaming ALL Black women for the flop can go see it and tell me if it is good. (Feel that side eye action).

Does the story of Nat Turner need to be told? Absolutely. Do I, as a Black woman, need to make sure my daughter knows the story? Absolutely. Do I need to watch a movie directed by a seemingly non-sympathetic asshat? Nah, I don't.


Saturday, September 24, 2016

Soulful Saturday - Soul II Soul

Y'all know what? After the last couple of weeks, I needed a pick me up that only old school music could provide. This week I got that from Soul II Soul. I could only think of two songs by this group-- but listening to these two songs gave me life! These Brits were the business in 1990... God, I wish music today moved me like this...

Life is heavy, y'all. Music alleviates some of that heaviness. Happy Saturday.


Back To Life





Keep On Movin'






Saturday, September 17, 2016

Soulful Saturday - Heavy D

I am over here having a party! Today is my brother's birthday and I was looking for some fun music to put up and I came across Heavy D. These songs were in heavy rotation (no pun intended) on my radio when my brother made his debut into this crazy world. Heavy D has since passed away, but he was very representative of late 80s/ early 90s rap music for me. Something great to move to, and even now, 20+ years later, I still know all the words and bob my head along with the music. Happy Birthday to my brother... Happy Saturday to y'all.


Now That We Found Love



Girls They Love Me


**This should be my brother's theme song.**



Got Me Waiting



Somebody For Me




Black Coffee







Friday, September 16, 2016

Fed Up Friday - The Movement You've Missed

This season is chock full of craziness. While some of us have been obsessing about the election, or chiming in social injustice protests, there has been another movement brewing in America. Near the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in North Dakota, thousands of people have gathered for months to protest the Dakota Access oil pipeline. For those who are unaware, this pipeline would run through four states (from North Dakota to Illinois) and would transverse many waterways. Several Native American tribes have come together to protest the pipeline, which is scheduled to run through some of their burial grounds and waterways.

Many people don't fully know the atrocities suffered by the Native American tribes in the United States. It isn't taught in our public schools and I think that is because the government doesn't want to acknowledge exactly what they did, how many folks died, how the government itself is responsible for cheating all the tribes out of land and liberty, etc. Though I grew up in the Midwest, I can tell you, most of my understanding of tribes was learned because I was curious-- not because it was something everyone learned in school. Most of us have heard of the "Trail of Tears" but what else? The same can be said of African Americans and Civil Rights, the South and the Civil War, immigrants looking for work at the turn of the century, business monopolies.

Well, two weeks ago protesters were attacked by dogs. By dogs. Simply because folks want to live on their land unobstructed... with untainted drinking water.  Land that the United States government put them on. Rewind 50 years and you will see photos of dogs attacking people who wanted to live as equals to their white counterparts.

In the past week, President Obama has halted construction of a portion of the pipeline-- much to the chagrin of some and to the relief of others. But, what is the long term plan? Mainstream media doesn't seem infatuated with the idea of telling this story. President Obama has about 3 and a half months left in office... his successor has not yet been elected, but one of the contenders has severe psychological issues. What will happen after this winter? Will Native American groups be dealt another blow by the government? Will the vast majority of mainstream media continue to ignore this movement happening in the Midwest? Will the pipeline be built?

It seems pertinent to mention that today it is being reported that there is a leak in the pipeline that runs from Texas to North Carolina. Gas prices on the East Coast are expected to rise. Surrounding environment is at risk. Six thousand barrels of oil, leaking in Alabama. This is EXACTLY what the folks in North Dakota fear happening in their area. This is exactly what their movement is fighting. Are we paying attention?


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