Kirk Franklin Owes His SON An Apology

So hey! What’s up? What’s been good? How y’all doing? It has been a while. Who me? Oh, I have just been dealing with this global pandemic bullshit… you know, keeping my ass at home, washing my hands, wearing my mask and waiting on the distribution of these vaccines and stimulus checks. But that is another blog post for another day because Y’ALL I have been on these interwebs and the tea is just overflowing my mug, darlings. 

Now I am generally a little late to the party on breaking news. I see it, read the details and keep it moving. So, this weekend I was just surfing, like I do, and I saw the now infamous video of the “conversation” that Kirk Franklin had with his son. That shit was not a conversation- it was some bullshit and little Kirk Franklin needs to put on his big boy pants and apologize to his son. Now look, I know that I am in the minority here, but I am going to go ahead and explain how I got to this RIGHT answer. Ok? Here we go:

First, I am going to put this in the context of my life. I am a parent and I have parents. My kid and I have a good relationship and my parents and I rock with each other… tough! I love them. They live down the street and we speak at least three times a week (sometimes three times a day). I know what y’all see on this blog, but believe it or not, I don’t curse in front of my parents and I am NOT disrespectful. Never will be. I was raised with respect and I give respect. Just like that. I know me, right? So when there has ever been a problem, I (as quickly as I can) remove myself from the situation. Why? Mostly because my mouth is too slick. I know that once you say shit, you can’t take it back. So if I KNOW I can’t rein in my tongue (and attitude) I just don’t say shit. I am raising a daughter and I don’t want her to have any sort of complex because of the relationship that she has with me. It really is that simple. 

Now, Kirk Franklin- who made a few Jesus songs- is getting a pass for saying that he would “break his foot off in his son’s ass” and that he would “break his son’s neck.” Then he was screaming the N word at the top of his lungs like he was talking to a stranger that just stepped on his new church shoes. Sir. Ma’am. First of all, if y’all have read any of my posts you know I am not giving not one pass to the evangelicals, singers, preachers, YouTubers, authors, cousins, aunties, uncles, friends or acquaintances. I am NOT giving a pass to anyone, friends. You come out in the public, acting like an asshole, and I may comment on it. It is a chance you take. Kirk Franklin ain’t getting a pass, I don’t care how many melodies from heaven renditions he sings. What he did was wrong. That is no way to speak to your children. And let me just add, too many of y’all out here excusing those threats because you have been threatened like that before. Just because it happened to YOU and you survived does not mean that is A1 parenting and that you should do the same to your children. And if you mad, get a cape and be super mad. Stop spreading dysfunction. PERIOD. 

Back to Kirk, do y'all know that he came out with a rebuttal video where that little asshole had the absolute nerve to come out and apologize TO THE PUBLIC but didn’t have it in his short statured body to apologize to his son. What??

His son is a whole grown man and if he has questionable behavior maybe, just maybe, that is how he taught himself to be while little ol’ Kirk was spending the days and hours of his formative years running these streets addicted to porn. <SHADE> Maybe the son models his adult life after the life he saw Kirk living when he was growing up. Don’t come for me- I remember the controversies from before some of y’all were alive. Your children are people. Trust me- they will get on your last good nerve. They do. I’m not saying don’t discipline them. I’m not saying to raise disrespectful ingrates. But you, as the parent, need to lead by example. If you would apologize to the public for losing your temper because it is going to affect your bankroll… you should be man enough to apologize to your flesh and blood for treating them like shit and threatening them. And if you don’t want to apologize,WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. If your children never see you apologize, or they never experience you apologizing to them for bad behavior, you are willingly raising children who will not apologize when they should. You are not raising well rounded kids. You are failing your children. Stop that bullshit ASAP. It is not healthy.

Now unclutch those pearls, ma’am, throw on some church music and get ready for the comeback of Hot, Black and Bitter. 

A Different Kind of Father's Day Post

Yesterday I spent some time with Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter. Lefty and I brought over some dinner (that we did not cook, but stood in a very long line- in the rain- for), we visited. We laughed; we watched some tv; we hung out.

While I was over at the Parentals house (using their lovely wifi) I surfed Facebook a little. On Father's Day. Big Mistake. Some of y'all... I need you to get it together. I saw the same old shit, people complaining about their "baby daddies" who ain't shit, people who are complaining about single mothers getting praise on Father's Day, people complaining about the relationship that their children have with their fathers... and so on. Ok. I have already written about who deserves to get a Happy Father's Day from me. And after yesterday- I can tell you that this post is going to be very different than other Father's Day posts you have seen. Really, I should have titled it "This shit is YOUR fault."

I tire very quickly of adults acting like children. So, needless to say, I absolutely do not condone supposed grown ass men flaking on the responsibilities with their children. I think it is about the worst thing that you could do- the hurt feelings are passed along through generations of that child's children, so the selfish behavior of one person has the potential to hurt more than a handful of people. Multiply that by the number of bastards running around acting like they don't have kids and you see how great this problem can be. There is a special place in hell for those people. That being said- I blame some of these mothers.

Let me say this: some of y'all go into a situation with eyes wide open. You see these "men" and how they interact with children that they have had with other women. Trust me, not EVERY woman they have bedded are crazy... and if they are all, in fact, crazy, then so is that "man." If he is not participating with his children his had prior to meeting you, what makes you think he is going to participate with yours? You see these "men" and how they treat big responsibilities. If they don't have the same type of urgency that you do about staying out of debt, or taking care of the bills, etc.... how do you think he will handle the BIGGEST responsibility of having a child? And the worst: some of you have SEVERAL children with the very same low life that has been stiffing you on child support. Wait- I lied, that is NOT the worst: this is-- some of you refuse to take your sperm donors to court for child support. WTF??

Then you want to take to facebook and other social media outlets to tell everyone what he is and is not; how he does not provide and how he is a bastard for ignoring your kids. Um... couldn't you find that out after baby #1?? Couldn't YOU have seen the patterns before getting impregnated? Couldn't YOU have stopped YOUR own desires for a moment and taken precautions before sex in order to make sure that you would not become pregnant? There is plenty of blame to go around, if you ask me. Just like that asshole is not being responsible once a pregnancy occurs; by all accounts, some of these mothers are not being responsible before the pregnancy occurs. Then, on Father's Day, she complains about his shortcomings. Guess what? He deserves that blame. And so does she.

Open your eyes, people. These kids are out here with NO parents. Dads are too busy running away and some of y'all moms are to busy running after the dads- for selfish reasons. Stop.It.

Fed Up Friday - Deadbeats

Ok, as I was reading the newspaper electronically today and one of the bigger headlines was about a warrant that is out with Terrell Owens because he is behind on child support. Um, what? I am taken aback. Then I go to YouTube and type in child support. Why did I do that? Do you know how many videos there are with people talking about child support? It is some kind of craziness. There are videos with women complaining that their child's father doesn't pay, videos of men crying about how much they have to pay, he says, she says... There are a lot of women who are all "I don't need your money. My baby doesn't want for anything..." Whoa, bitch. There are plenty of men who say "that hoe is spending all my money. How do I know that she is spending it on my kid. I have to pay this much for this long, blah, blah, blah." Yeah-- both groups sound dumb as hell. So I have a response for everyone involved and no one is going to like it-- how about that? :)

Women

Let me start out with some common sense advice: vaginas are not special. Let me rephrase: YOUR vagina is not special. There are hundreds of videos on YouTube where women say: "My child's father doesn't take of his other kids, but he is going to take care of mine." Um, no lady, he won't. Why would he? You have already stood by and watched while he didn't take care of the little defenseless children that he already has. Silence is acceptance. And you somehow think that he will treat you differently? Why? Because you think you have sunshine in your pants? Let's be real. If he has kids that he ignores and doesn't care for, there is a strong possibility that he will do your kids the same way. Your vagina is not going to change his mind. You thinking that you are the baddest bitch is not going to change his habits. You also need to stop it with the "I don't need him or his money." Bitch please. Yes you do need him AND his money. Your kid needs him AND his money. Hell, I need you to take his money because I don't want to have to help pay for you and your kids. Oh, I said it: if you don't like the man that you are sleeping with, you should not be sleeping with him because children are a life time commitment to that person. They will always be a part of your life. Your child will always need to know BOTH of their parents. I don't watch Oprah but even I know that she said that when people show you who they are, believe them. People will show you who they are-- if you choose to ignore the signs, then that is on you. We all know how babies get here, right?! So if you meet a guy who is someone you only want... to see naked, then you need to take all precautions to assure that you will not be stuck co-parenting with a deadbeat. I blame you. Ladies, we are no victims. Generally we are full participants. Having a child by a no good man is NOT going to make him suddenly become good; it will simply saddle you up with a jackass. A little something you should think about before you have unprotected sex with some guy that you have nothing nice to say about.

Men

Children are expensive. (Clearly if T.O. can't pay his child support.) Just so we are all on the same page: that 30 seconds of pleasure can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars. Again, something you should think about BEFORE you try to "hit that." Also, should the state HAVE to make you pay for your children? No, if you are a man, you would make sure your children were taken care of... HOWEVER, we are surrounded by very tall boys in men's clothing so states have to intercede. I'm good with that. And let me just say to you assholes who purposely don't work and have a court order to pay less than $100 a month and have the NERVE to complain: shut the hell up. Dude, a baby will go through $100 in a week, easy. Your children don't just need to eat when you are able to 'come up' with child support. They can't wait to get clothes until you hustle up some cash. They cannot wait for diapers until you deem it ok to send over some money. Some of the boys on YouTube also felt it necessary to call the mother of their children names. Um, if she is a whore, what does that make you? If she is a gold digger, what the fuck is she doing with your stingy ass? If she was truly in it for the money, she would not have to beg your punk ass for $100. If you can call her names, it reflects badly on YOU... because you chose to sleep with her, and she is now the mother of your child, so what does that say about your judgment? If you can sleep at night, knowing that your children are not being taken care of because you can't or won't provide for them, What does that say about YOU? Holding your children's money hostage will buy you one thing: a first class ticket to hell.

Child support would not be such a hot topic button if people were more choosy about who they had sex with, who they choose to procreate with. So that is it, ladies and gentlemen, keep it in your pants or pay the price, with a deadbeat partner or a hefty child support order. Condoms don't sound bad now, do they?

Where Are The Parents: Amber Cole

I have taken a small break from blogging for the last few days, after attending the funeral of a friend. To say that it has been a rough week is an understatement and I am just catching up on some things… so the blogs will probably be plentiful. First up: Amber Cole.
For those of you who don’t know, Amber Cole is a 14 year old girl who was videotaped giving her ex boyfriend oral sex outside of their school. Supposedly, she did not know that she was being videotaped… and she engaged in the act in order to save her “relationship” with this boy. At this point, the talk is that she is on suicide watch. I have not seen the video, but I have seen photos. Oh, I have so much to say. So, I am going to break this up into two entries; one entry about this situation itself and one about cyber-bullying. Here we go:

I can NOT believe that Amber Cole got on her knees- outside the school doors- and serviced some dude. I can NOT believe that the video went viral, and I can NOT believe that people are so nonchalant about this situation. Listen, I have written several times about how we need to embrace our children and show them the RIGHT way to conduct themselves and this child illustrates exactly what I am talking about. I am mad at her—I am. That type of behavior is unacceptable, not only for 14 year olds, but for EVERYone. Hey- I will always advocate for grown people to do whatever they like. If you have the consent of the other adult that is participating and you are not doing it in my bed, in my face PLEASE do it! If your actions aren’t hurting anyone, I don’t care. But Amber is not the age of majority, she is not an adult and all adults who were sharing the video of her on her knees, distributed child pornography. Yes you did, you simple bastards. I am mad at Amber, but I am more upset the adults that surround her.
Something is missing from that girl’s life. Somehow she has made it 14 years thinking that the only way that she can “keep a man” at 14 is to suck his dick at school in front of his friends as they snicker and tape her. What the hell is wrong with this picture? There are tons of people on youtube defending her and saying that they don’t think that we should blame her- we should. They don’t think we should blame her parents- we should. They don’t think this is an epidemic- it is. We should blame her because there is not one person who thinks that what she did was ok—well, no smart, halfway thinking person. But, if I was to allot some percentage of blame, hers would be about 5%. The rest falls on her parents and society. Now, it is true enough that we ALL have gotten away with some stuff that our parents don’t know about. We have all done some questionable things, right? I have. HOWEVER, who the fuck is parenting this girl? When I was growing up (shit, and now, if I am being completely truthful) I knew I was the shit. I own rooms when I walk in. I could be the only Black person, the only woman, the only ANYthing and the other people in that room will respect me. Point blank, period. The fact that this little girl clearly does not have someone telling her that she is worth more than a quick dick suck- outside- in full view of everyone else, is a travesty. Where the fuck ARE her parents? Where is her mother? A grandma? An auntie? Someone to tell her that at 14 you will have several other boyfriends so if this ONE douchebag is trying to get you to suck his dick for a CHANCE that he would take you back, the correct answer to him is: “fuck you and your little dick!” If her parents are not capable, then someone else should be taking this girl under their wing—IMMEDIATELY.

You may ask how society is at fault. I mean some of y’all are putting on sad faces all over the web, talking about how this little girl is a victim and it is just so sad that she felt she had to go down this path. Spare me. Society, as a whole, is to blame for this event. Collectively we glorify hoe-like behavior. We support “superhead” writing a book about her conquests, on this blog you saw anonymous people coming to the defense of Fantasia when I called her a homewrecker (which, she still is), shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and other reality shows are hits—I mean really, what is Kim Kardashian famous for? Being a hoe and getting fucked on tape by sorry ass Ray J. Yet we embrace her. Drama filled shit like the Real Housewives and Basketball Wives stream into our tvs at unprecedented numbers. Music is being pumped into our kids-- songs calling women bitches and whores, calling men the n word, advocating for the hustling lifestyle and not valuing education... and what they hear/see is exactly what they are giving us. I remember when Jerry Springer was the raunchiest thing that was on tv. Now some of these shows give them a run for their money. Nicki Minaj has surgery enhanced curves, singers come on stage half dressed. Lil Wayne has so many baby mamas I lost count, there are loads of children and minimal commitment and these are the superstars of the time. We need to tell our children that pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen when you are sexually active. There are diseases, there are cell phones that record the fucked up shit you do, and there are sick assholes that will pass it along online. We need to talk to our kids, instead of sending them out to the world super naïve about everything and easily eaten alive by the dirty bastards of our communities. We need to be examples. Like-- not bringing every guy you are fucking around your kids, not having child after child with several women, like wearing condoms, respecting our elders, etc. We, as a society, are selling out our children to the highest bidder—and getting it thrown in our face repeatedly. If we aren’t careful we will have a whole generation of women that don’t respect themselves, or demand it from those surrounding them. A generation of men who do not hold their counterparts in high esteem and more children to perpetuate the problem.