Election Reflections

Well now. Who would have thought that 2016 would be such a colossal shit show? We should have known that it would be awful when the Almighty came and took Prince, but nooooooo. We decided to press on and last week one more sign of the fucking apocalypse reared its ugly orange head. That's right. These United States of America elected the most unfit, uncouth, ridiculous bastard to be the leader of our country. And honestly, I just want to reach out and slap all the ass backward people who voted for this shit stain. That's right. This liberal is not over the fact that a moron and his cronies are going to be in charge come January. Not over it, ain't going to be over, don't want to be over it. 

One reason I can't get over it is because everyone is now coming out with one of three arguments: 1) not all White people voted for trump (he doesn't deserve capital letters, so he isn't getting any on this blog), 2) for those that did vote for him: "um, I'm not racist, but..." and 3) we all need to come together, love one another and forget what has been said/done for the good of country. 

All y'all muthaf**kas can kiss my ass. Since I have had to hear you "explain" since Wednesday, let me explain why those three sorry ass excuses are weak as hell. Let's go in order, shall we? 1) Yep, I am clear on the fact that not ALL White people voted for Tangerine Dream. I get that, BUT a vast majority of y'all fuckers did. Someone you know did. Someone you are related to did. Someone you talk to on a regular basis, who pretends to be your friend/sister/brother/ally DID vote for him. And you probably knew it was going to happen. And you probably didn't say anything. Listen, I don't deal in "ALL". I know ALL White folks didn't vote for him, just like I know ALL Black folks didn't vote for Hillary. I also know that whenever the subject of the election came up, people knew exactly where I stood, who I was voting for and why... and if they told me that they were voting for Tangerine Dream, I asked them WHY. I am not ashamed to say that I have distanced myself from many acquaintances and I will continue to do so as a direct result of this election. I've deleted some people from social media accounts as a precautionary measure. Not ashamed in the least. My sanity comes before y'all's fucked up feelings any day. 

2) "I did vote for Tangerine Dream, but I'm not racist..." Honestly, I stop listening after you say that you voted for him and my interest in talking to you ever again diminishes greatly. Listen, the majority of folks will show you exactly who they are, especially in times of trouble. Cap'n Cheeto showed us all who he was. He hit the stage running with that anti-Mexican rhetoric and some of y'all ate that shit up. He has routinely talked shit about women-- and that was BEFORE that Access Hollywood tape came out. He straight told y'all that he wants to ban Muslims and make the ones that remain register... like fucking chattel. Over and over again, he more than insinuated that Black folks have been relegated to the ghettos around the country, that we don't receive/take advantage of public education, we are lazy and we can't walk our streets without killing one another (Black folks only... so don't worry poor White people). His outreach to the LGBTQ community has been abysmal and his attack on the media damn near incited riots at his rallies. You saw all of that... and you voted for him anyway. You don't have shit to say to me. I don't want an explanation. You take responsibility for what's about to go down. Let it be known right now: if you voted for Cap'n Cheeto YOU decided that it was in your best interests and you didn't give a fuck what he said about the rest of us because you aren't in any of those groups. You may have a Black friend, sibling or spouse and you chose to fuck us all over. You knew that he was slinging racist/xenophobic/misogynistic thoughts and you voted for him anyway. Do you feel good about that? Of course you do, you inconsiderate bastard. So save the explanation-- your vote did all the necessary talking.

3) "We should all get along. Your candidate lost now let's all get behind Orange Faygo." You can totally miss me which all this bullshit. I know that it sounds good and everything, but that muthaf**ka directly threatens my family's livelihood, so this fall in line, step and fetch routine is not going to happen. One of my best friends is a married lesbian, I am not trying to "fall in line" while marriage equality is reversed. I'm a very pro-choice woman, I will not "fall in line" while Roe v. Wade is reversed. I am Black (and so is my daughter) there is no way I will stand still while Orange Faygo's henchmen try to bring back "stop and frisk" on the national stage. I am ME, there is NO WAY I am going to stand idly by and watch ANY group be maligned because some backwoods rednecks want to go back to 1900 when Blacks were still damn near slaves, women had no rights and White men were the ruling class. Hell no. 

I don't feel bad about my convictions. I will not rest until folks are treated equally. I will continue to be bitter (like I have been). I will not rest until my daughter knows that she should stand up for people, like her parents do. People will know that they have a place in my America. I will stand up as an ally for my LGBTQ friends, my Muslim friends, my Mexican friends, my Black friends, cops, women, liberals AND conservatives. I haven't changed and I will not change... even if we do have a small hand/dick/brain dictator at the helm.

Dear America

Dear America:

Hey girl. It is your favorite caramel colored girlfriend. Originally, I was going to wish you a belated birthday, but honey, we have some things that we need to talk about. I am feeling some type of way about you. I mean, you just turned 240 years old on Monday and you are not adulting well. I mean, I really think that you are too old for these ongoing problems that you have. These last few years, our relationship has been strained and so now, here I am, with an ultimatum.

Listen. You gotta stop lying to yourself and others. America, you keep telling folks that everyone is welcome and that you are friendly. Ma'am, nothing is farther from the truth. We all know that everyone isn't welcome. Why do you keep touting that line of thought? History tells us that it isn't true... What you allow in your house shows us, every day, that you don't want diversity here. Within your borders, people (of color) are ROUTINELY marginalized, CONSISTENTLY demonized, REGULARLY disenfranchised and HABITUALLY murdered for simply being. You don't have love for us, girl. And when one of us stands up to tell you just how unfair the treatment that we are receiving is, the clap back is swift. You aren't nice, chick. You allow our children to be murdered; our husbands to be taken. You don't blink when our elderly die in poverty, unable to afford the drugs that could keep them alive. It doesn't bother you that our neighborhoods are falling apart or that we are overlooked for jobs and promotions. You are not surprised and often find excuses for police who brutalize your citizenry. I mean, why do you keep inviting folks to your house if you don't want to straighten up first? You know what I mean? I just don't understand. Why invite family over, only to spit in their faces? That is what you are doing. You are spitting in our faces-- and we have had enough.  

You pretend to love us, but that love is only good if we stay in the boxes that you have picked out for us. You want us to make you look good. You want us to entertain you-- on tv, at the movie theater, through sports and at concerts. But, you don't want us to ever think that we are more than that. We are here to entertain you and the moment we stop, you turn on us like an inebriated spouse. Often you use us for entertainment then for target practice. We are targets for your abuse-- in which you want us to suffer silently. Stay in our place, save face (for you) and do it all quietly. America, girl, that is not how this works. That is not how any of this works.

Look, I want to take this time to let you know that you wouldn't have your house without us. We have been here from the beginning. Actually, darling, now would be the time to remind you that you brought many of us here against our will. And now you are systematically, emotionally and physically, killing the same folks you enslaved all those years ago. America, girl, you are too old for this! Since we just celebrated your birthday, I feel the need to remind you what happened 240+ years ago that brought about your birth. America, YOU are the result of the ultimate protest. Your founders were tired of being shit upon, so they left the game and started YOU. Now, darling, let's use some common sense here... If you have spent all of your years shitting on some folks, what, exactly can you foresee them doing? Are you trying to get history to repeat itself? Are you trying to make an uprising happen? Do you think that we will allow an extermination of certain folks just happen?

America, I am writing this letter because I love you. I love the idea of you. I love being a part of you. Now I want you to love me back. I want you to respect me and other Brown and Black folks. I want to be able to be proud of you when I leave your shores for vacation or business. I want folks to be able to look to you for guidance... not just military or monetary help. I want to be able to tell my daughter that her life will be respected because she is considered a gem in her own country. A gem... not a burden. In short America, I need you to get your shit together, sis. I mean I can't keep writing you warnings about this fucked up behavior. If you keep disrespecting your citizens they will rise up-- it is inevitable. We are not expendable. Our children are not to be used as kindling in the streets, America. Our fathers and breadwinners are not to be brutalized as examples, America. Our mothers and daughters are not here to be assaulted by you, America. We are not expendable. Saying that doesn't make us ungrateful, or selfish or racist. It makes us citizens and it makes you accountable. Stop murdering us. Stop excusing our murders. Just stop it.

Manic Monday - Death By Social Media

Ah, weekends. Around here they are known as "catch  up on sleep days" or "have an actual conversation with your husband... two days in a row" days or, my personal favorite "let's make a list of all the shit we aren't going to get done in two days." This past weekend was a lovely mixture of all these things. I was feeling under the weather last week, so this weekend was gonna be my first few times out of the house (other than Friday's workout with momma HBB), plus we hadn't really started the garden yet, we needed groceries... you know, all that jazz. So here I was, checking Facebook on Saturday morning because... yeah, I wanted to. A bajillion things to do-- AFTER a Facebook check, right?

It was during that "quick check" on Saturday that I learned of the happenings of the night before. Picture this, a hot and muggy night in Georgia, a high school graduation and a chick off her rocker. I am sure that we all know by now that Nancy Gordeuk lost her damn mind in front of graduating seniors and their family members, calling people goobers, cowards and trying to call out Black people for leaving the graduation ceremony. After social media (primarily #BlackTwitter) completely lambasted her, she sent out a half-assed apology and appeared on her local news station. She says that the "Devil was in the house" on Friday night and "he came out of her mouth" in front of family members of the graduating seniors. That was her take in the pseudo apology. On the news she said she is NOT racist and it wasn't like she called those Black people the n-word. Ma'am. I NEED YOU TO TAKE A SEAT. IMMEDIATELY. The devil made you do it? Oh, ok.

She wasn't the only fool that died by social media in the last 72 hours. Her knucklehead son put his address on Facebook and invited people over to fight if they disagreed with his mama. He also used the n word in a subsequent post. Those posts have now been taken down. (Surprise, surprise... oh, I can guess what kind of backwoods upbringing that... youngster had.)

In addition to these shenanigans, some douchebag running for the mayor of Gahanna (a little suburb of Columbus) was taken to task about his previous social media posts. Joseph Gergley, a 26 year old special case, essentially showed his homophobic, racist side on his twitter account-- as recently as last year. When the sinister tweets were discovered, Gergley blamed it on youthful indiscretions.  Sir, what exactly did you think was going to happen when you ran for public office? Did you think that those tweets could just stay out there and never be questioned? Did you think it was funny to compare a central Ohio Walmart to Ferguson, Missouri? And you thought the voting public would be okay with that? Why exactly? Oh my, Monday, you do me so wrong. Annnnnnnd to round off the list of the top three most pathetic people of the last 72 hours, George Zimmerman was in the news today for being shot at in a road rage incident.

Listen folks, let me tell you what you should know already: if you are a horrible person in your every day life, you will get caught being a horrible person. Whether it is on twitter or in front of people who send their children to your school and in fact, pay your salary, YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT. I will never understand why people insist on being jerks AND doing it in writing or on video. Nancy yelled at a guy who was taping her. That is how this whole situation got started. So she HAD to know, before she made her super racist and unnecessary comment, that someone would see it. Gergley (who has since deleted his Twitter account) had a public page. Dude, what? I mean, I know that people are forgiving and you will (unfortunately) always have someone who will be willing to take your apology but why give them ammunition? Why put yourself in a position where you HAVE to apologize? Why not just be a stand up kind of person all the time? Too much like right? Oh, I see.

Listen: I know that not everyone agrees with my stances, political or personal. I get it. Not everyone agrees with being a liberal, the death penalty, interracial marriage, reproductive rights, feminism, civil rights, equal rights, equal pay, or pet rescue. There are people that will disagree with everything that I stand for-- and that is fine. But there is a way to say it-- especially if you are, I don't know, a principal or running for public office.  As my mother used to say (ok, she still says it to me because clearly, I need the reminder) "It is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it."  Don't put your business in the public forum, for everyone to see, and then complain when your credibility dies on social media, You did that to yourself and just like Nancy, Joseph and George, you deserve whatever the social media gods hit you with. Check yourself. We should ALL be using social media like everyone can see it... because everyone CAN.

While You Were Sleeping - Harriet Tubman

It is almost 1 AM. I NOW have a day job. I was so ready to go to sleep, until I saw references to THIS:



Ok, First of all- this shit is NOT funny. At all. In any form. Second- the fact that not only were they able to find Black actors to downplay the real rapes and savagery that took place during slavery as a JOKE... AND the fact that this appeared on Russell Simmons' All Def Digital YouTube channel- is astounding. Absolutely unbelievable. Third, and here is the true tragedy, there will be more Black people who see NO problem with this video. They may even chuckle. They will not correct others who DO laugh at this. They will be silent.

Now listen, I am not one to jump on a soapbox at the drop of a hat. This blog represents my personality in small snapshots, on topics that I choose to write about. Lately, the subjects are somewhat frivolous, but this is serious. As a lover of history, I have to say... The United States has had a sordid past- that is no surprise to anyone. The history of slavery in this country (and around the world) is no laughing matter. There is no denying that some people's reality has been shaped by the atrocities of 400+ years of a horrid system of buying and selling human beings, of split up families, of beatings and rapes that took place for no other reason than having the ability to do them without repercussion. There is no denying that America, is NOT in fact, post racial anything. We have all held onto stereotypes that began in the infancy of our country-- and some of us hold those stereotypes as truth in 2013.

What I hold as truth is as follows: I will not, ever, support Russell Simmons. Not ever. The fact that he, as a Black man in America okayed this... video... shows me that he does not have my interests, or the interests of a strong Black community, in mind.

Another truth (and I have held this one for decades- I have said it before and clearly I need to say it again): I will not support entertainers, movie "stars", producers, people on the street or relatives that use the N-word. I don't care if you are Paula Deen, Paula from high school, Paula down the street or Auntie Paula- there is NO excuse for anyone to use that word. Black people kill me trying to take back hurtful words- that one in particular. And non-Black people kill me when they try to explain why they should be allowed to say it. You will not disrespect me, my momma, my community, people who have died for the cause, no matter their race or humankind in general, by uttering that word in my presence. I do not care who you are. Father so and so, Pastor so and so, rapper so and so. Listen, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter says whatever the hell he wants and EVEN he does not say that word in front of me. If I ain't taking it from him... You surely will NOT get a pass.


The truth above all truths: I am a proud, strong, capable woman who knows the history of the country that she loves. I respect my history as a Black woman and the history of others. If I made a video about how much Jews really loved the Halocaust--how Hitler was actually a savior to the Jews he confined in the ghettos of Europe; or, how much Native Americans really loved marching the Trail of Tears and being forced to give up all they knew by outsiders who wanted more resources-- how they appreciated helping the English survive the winter on the East Coast, only to have those same people take everything that they had. If I made a video that somehow poked fun at the war crimes that are going on right now against POWs and others being held against their will. If I trivialized someone else's well noted struggle-- how would that be taken? Who would reprimand me? Someone would, right? So where is that someone NOW? Why is it that no one is standing up for the Black community when ideas like this are being thrown around the production room? Why didn't Russell Simmons see a problem with this mess BEFORE it made it to YouTube? Before there was outrage? WHERE WAS HIS OUTRAGE?? Why didn't the two Black actors in this skit say to themselves "hmm- this really is NOT funny, maybe we should try something else?" What made anyone think that this was okay? Why, when I do defend the Black community I am pegged as out of touch, or too sensitive? And for God's sake WHERE are the rest of the Black people who have a problem with this???


I am so tired of this. Here is the lesson that we (Black) people need to learn: the only way that the ills of our community can be cured is if we, as a community, stop putting up with substandard behavior from our members. We can't blame other people. We have got to nip the nonsense in the bud, all over. So that means, I have no love for Russell Simmons--- or his offspring. I don't live for making his pockets fatter. I have no love for all these rappers that are making it seem as though we are all fools who can't speak English and have thousands of babies without marriage. I have no love for the drug dealers and ridiculous petty criminals in our community. I draw the line and supporting EVERYTHING just because it is Black. Putting up with craziness is not my forte-- no matter who is bringing the crazy. People, we have GOT to expect and receive better from our own community, because I can't have another night like tonight. I can't watch another Black person acting like a fool for a few inappropriate laughs. I'm so done with this bullshit. So done.


 

Where Are The Parents: Amber Cole

I have taken a small break from blogging for the last few days, after attending the funeral of a friend. To say that it has been a rough week is an understatement and I am just catching up on some things… so the blogs will probably be plentiful. First up: Amber Cole.
For those of you who don’t know, Amber Cole is a 14 year old girl who was videotaped giving her ex boyfriend oral sex outside of their school. Supposedly, she did not know that she was being videotaped… and she engaged in the act in order to save her “relationship” with this boy. At this point, the talk is that she is on suicide watch. I have not seen the video, but I have seen photos. Oh, I have so much to say. So, I am going to break this up into two entries; one entry about this situation itself and one about cyber-bullying. Here we go:

I can NOT believe that Amber Cole got on her knees- outside the school doors- and serviced some dude. I can NOT believe that the video went viral, and I can NOT believe that people are so nonchalant about this situation. Listen, I have written several times about how we need to embrace our children and show them the RIGHT way to conduct themselves and this child illustrates exactly what I am talking about. I am mad at her—I am. That type of behavior is unacceptable, not only for 14 year olds, but for EVERYone. Hey- I will always advocate for grown people to do whatever they like. If you have the consent of the other adult that is participating and you are not doing it in my bed, in my face PLEASE do it! If your actions aren’t hurting anyone, I don’t care. But Amber is not the age of majority, she is not an adult and all adults who were sharing the video of her on her knees, distributed child pornography. Yes you did, you simple bastards. I am mad at Amber, but I am more upset the adults that surround her.
Something is missing from that girl’s life. Somehow she has made it 14 years thinking that the only way that she can “keep a man” at 14 is to suck his dick at school in front of his friends as they snicker and tape her. What the hell is wrong with this picture? There are tons of people on youtube defending her and saying that they don’t think that we should blame her- we should. They don’t think we should blame her parents- we should. They don’t think this is an epidemic- it is. We should blame her because there is not one person who thinks that what she did was ok—well, no smart, halfway thinking person. But, if I was to allot some percentage of blame, hers would be about 5%. The rest falls on her parents and society. Now, it is true enough that we ALL have gotten away with some stuff that our parents don’t know about. We have all done some questionable things, right? I have. HOWEVER, who the fuck is parenting this girl? When I was growing up (shit, and now, if I am being completely truthful) I knew I was the shit. I own rooms when I walk in. I could be the only Black person, the only woman, the only ANYthing and the other people in that room will respect me. Point blank, period. The fact that this little girl clearly does not have someone telling her that she is worth more than a quick dick suck- outside- in full view of everyone else, is a travesty. Where the fuck ARE her parents? Where is her mother? A grandma? An auntie? Someone to tell her that at 14 you will have several other boyfriends so if this ONE douchebag is trying to get you to suck his dick for a CHANCE that he would take you back, the correct answer to him is: “fuck you and your little dick!” If her parents are not capable, then someone else should be taking this girl under their wing—IMMEDIATELY.

You may ask how society is at fault. I mean some of y’all are putting on sad faces all over the web, talking about how this little girl is a victim and it is just so sad that she felt she had to go down this path. Spare me. Society, as a whole, is to blame for this event. Collectively we glorify hoe-like behavior. We support “superhead” writing a book about her conquests, on this blog you saw anonymous people coming to the defense of Fantasia when I called her a homewrecker (which, she still is), shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and other reality shows are hits—I mean really, what is Kim Kardashian famous for? Being a hoe and getting fucked on tape by sorry ass Ray J. Yet we embrace her. Drama filled shit like the Real Housewives and Basketball Wives stream into our tvs at unprecedented numbers. Music is being pumped into our kids-- songs calling women bitches and whores, calling men the n word, advocating for the hustling lifestyle and not valuing education... and what they hear/see is exactly what they are giving us. I remember when Jerry Springer was the raunchiest thing that was on tv. Now some of these shows give them a run for their money. Nicki Minaj has surgery enhanced curves, singers come on stage half dressed. Lil Wayne has so many baby mamas I lost count, there are loads of children and minimal commitment and these are the superstars of the time. We need to tell our children that pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen when you are sexually active. There are diseases, there are cell phones that record the fucked up shit you do, and there are sick assholes that will pass it along online. We need to talk to our kids, instead of sending them out to the world super naïve about everything and easily eaten alive by the dirty bastards of our communities. We need to be examples. Like-- not bringing every guy you are fucking around your kids, not having child after child with several women, like wearing condoms, respecting our elders, etc. We, as a society, are selling out our children to the highest bidder—and getting it thrown in our face repeatedly. If we aren’t careful we will have a whole generation of women that don’t respect themselves, or demand it from those surrounding them. A generation of men who do not hold their counterparts in high esteem and more children to perpetuate the problem.