Fed Up Friday - Everyday Life

Oh, it has been a LONG time, but here it is Friday and I have a long list of grievances waiting to be typed out. This blog has turned into a political forum because we are living in a clusterfuck of craziness, led by the orange clown and his cronies but, surprisingly, this Fed Up Friday is not about them. It is shocking... I know. On top of the dumpster fire that we see on the news every day, I have even MORE nut-tastic behavior to highlight, so here we go.

My kid is a night owl and has attempted to stop napping during the day. Oh, I am not ready for that bullshit, so the (not nice) sign (which clearly says NOT to ring my doorbell) I put on our front door before she was born is still up there (and will remain there for the foreseeable future). So imagine my surprise when someone rang my doorbell - TWICE - and knocked on the door like the police... after Kensie FINALLY laid her little ass down for a nap. I have a crying baby, barking dogs and some moron banging on my door. I opened the door with what could only described as the "I am totally going to fuck up whoever is on the other side of this door" face. Let me just say- I live in my childhood home. I know my neighbors (and their kids). This shit BETTER be an emergency... because I have a toddler screaming in my ear. But guess what? It wasn't. This muthafucka said "do you have a lawnmower I can borrow?" Now I should have prefaced this with... I DO NOT KNOW THIS MAN. And he wasn't coming with a "hey, I'm your new neighbor from down the street" or "what's up, my name is____ and I live down the street." Nah, he just asked to use my mower. Bitch, what? When I tell you that I cut my eyes at him so hard... I have been trying to not say curse words (out loud) because my miniature person running around here is an impeccable mimic, so I kept the "fuck you" look all over my face, yelled "no" and slammed the door. Then I spent 15 minutes bribing the kid with pasta and red sauce so she would stop crying.

This week I read a story about a clerk at CVS in Chicago calling the cops on a Black lady trying to use a coupon. That dude needs his ass beat. I mean, honestly. If you employ the police for non-emergency, nonsensical matters on purpose you deserve a fine at the very least... and your ass served to you on a platter at the very most. Get your whole life together. I do know that all the managers involved were fired from CVS - rightfully so. If you are that scared of People of Color, you need to keep your ass in the house, at all times. What makes the situation worse? The dude that called the police is running for an Alderman position (city council). You want to represent a constituency that scares you? Pathetic asshole.

The last story I have for y'all is supposed to be a feel good story. Supposed to be. There is a media blitz circulating a story that a woman was able to take a proper maternity leave because her co-workers banded together and donated their vacation time to her. First of all: good for that new mama. Her co-workers are stellar. I don't know what I would have done if I HAD to get back to work two weeks after Kensie was born. I mean... I would HAVE to go back to work, but I really feel like it would have been detrimental to both me AND her. So, I have nothing but love for her co-workers. What they did was extraordinary. My issue is: what if her co-workers were not so generous? They should not HAVE to donate their vacation time so a co-worker can have time off to bond with their new baby. The United States is an amazing country (most of time) but the fact that extended maternity/paternity leave is almost non-existent amazes me. The reasons for paid leave have been spelled out several times: cost of child care is astronomical; kids get sick easily; postpartum depression is real; your body isn't the only thing that needs to bounce back after you birth a kid. We want our new mama's to breastfeed-- and low key shame them if they don't-- but we also want their asses to return to work ASAP. We want new parents to raise productive, good citizens but we don't make it easy for families to spend time together during very crucial times (like right after the child is born). There have been several articles written about the slowing birth rate in America-- uh, yeah. Students graduate with extremely high debt. Folks, on average, are buying houses later in life, if at all. And even if they have kids, companies are not making it easy to bond with those children. Does that make sense? Of course it doesn't.

This is it for this week's Fed Up Friday. I am sure I will find something else to bitch about next weekend! LOL Happy Weekend, y'all.

Wordless Wednesday - MAGA

Election Reflections

Well now. Who would have thought that 2016 would be such a colossal shit show? We should have known that it would be awful when the Almighty came and took Prince, but nooooooo. We decided to press on and last week one more sign of the fucking apocalypse reared its ugly orange head. That's right. These United States of America elected the most unfit, uncouth, ridiculous bastard to be the leader of our country. And honestly, I just want to reach out and slap all the ass backward people who voted for this shit stain. That's right. This liberal is not over the fact that a moron and his cronies are going to be in charge come January. Not over it, ain't going to be over, don't want to be over it. 

One reason I can't get over it is because everyone is now coming out with one of three arguments: 1) not all White people voted for trump (he doesn't deserve capital letters, so he isn't getting any on this blog), 2) for those that did vote for him: "um, I'm not racist, but..." and 3) we all need to come together, love one another and forget what has been said/done for the good of country. 

All y'all muthaf**kas can kiss my ass. Since I have had to hear you "explain" since Wednesday, let me explain why those three sorry ass excuses are weak as hell. Let's go in order, shall we? 1) Yep, I am clear on the fact that not ALL White people voted for Tangerine Dream. I get that, BUT a vast majority of y'all fuckers did. Someone you know did. Someone you are related to did. Someone you talk to on a regular basis, who pretends to be your friend/sister/brother/ally DID vote for him. And you probably knew it was going to happen. And you probably didn't say anything. Listen, I don't deal in "ALL". I know ALL White folks didn't vote for him, just like I know ALL Black folks didn't vote for Hillary. I also know that whenever the subject of the election came up, people knew exactly where I stood, who I was voting for and why... and if they told me that they were voting for Tangerine Dream, I asked them WHY. I am not ashamed to say that I have distanced myself from many acquaintances and I will continue to do so as a direct result of this election. I've deleted some people from social media accounts as a precautionary measure. Not ashamed in the least. My sanity comes before y'all's fucked up feelings any day. 

2) "I did vote for Tangerine Dream, but I'm not racist..." Honestly, I stop listening after you say that you voted for him and my interest in talking to you ever again diminishes greatly. Listen, the majority of folks will show you exactly who they are, especially in times of trouble. Cap'n Cheeto showed us all who he was. He hit the stage running with that anti-Mexican rhetoric and some of y'all ate that shit up. He has routinely talked shit about women-- and that was BEFORE that Access Hollywood tape came out. He straight told y'all that he wants to ban Muslims and make the ones that remain register... like fucking chattel. Over and over again, he more than insinuated that Black folks have been relegated to the ghettos around the country, that we don't receive/take advantage of public education, we are lazy and we can't walk our streets without killing one another (Black folks only... so don't worry poor White people). His outreach to the LGBTQ community has been abysmal and his attack on the media damn near incited riots at his rallies. You saw all of that... and you voted for him anyway. You don't have shit to say to me. I don't want an explanation. You take responsibility for what's about to go down. Let it be known right now: if you voted for Cap'n Cheeto YOU decided that it was in your best interests and you didn't give a fuck what he said about the rest of us because you aren't in any of those groups. You may have a Black friend, sibling or spouse and you chose to fuck us all over. You knew that he was slinging racist/xenophobic/misogynistic thoughts and you voted for him anyway. Do you feel good about that? Of course you do, you inconsiderate bastard. So save the explanation-- your vote did all the necessary talking.

3) "We should all get along. Your candidate lost now let's all get behind Orange Faygo." You can totally miss me which all this bullshit. I know that it sounds good and everything, but that muthaf**ka directly threatens my family's livelihood, so this fall in line, step and fetch routine is not going to happen. One of my best friends is a married lesbian, I am not trying to "fall in line" while marriage equality is reversed. I'm a very pro-choice woman, I will not "fall in line" while Roe v. Wade is reversed. I am Black (and so is my daughter) there is no way I will stand still while Orange Faygo's henchmen try to bring back "stop and frisk" on the national stage. I am ME, there is NO WAY I am going to stand idly by and watch ANY group be maligned because some backwoods rednecks want to go back to 1900 when Blacks were still damn near slaves, women had no rights and White men were the ruling class. Hell no. 

I don't feel bad about my convictions. I will not rest until folks are treated equally. I will continue to be bitter (like I have been). I will not rest until my daughter knows that she should stand up for people, like her parents do. People will know that they have a place in my America. I will stand up as an ally for my LGBTQ friends, my Muslim friends, my Mexican friends, my Black friends, cops, women, liberals AND conservatives. I haven't changed and I will not change... even if we do have a small hand/dick/brain dictator at the helm.

To Be Black In America

I have learned to let shit roll off my back. Being a new mom and having limited time makes it easy to let fake friends go by the wayside and let stupid politicians openly pander for my vote without consequence. It also makes it easy to overlook most foolishness on social media. Between baby feedings and sleepless nights, I really haven't had the time nor the inclination to engage in the back and forth craziness. From the election to the Olympics, I have pretty much stayed to myself over here (except on Twitter... I always have some shit to say on Twitter). But the silence is about to end because some of y'all are so stupid, I wouldn't trust you to find your way out of a box... even if the lid was open.

So, listen: race in America is fucked up. Being Black/Brown in America is rough times, friends. And if you don't think it is rough to be Black/Brown in America, you are either not Black/Brown or you are delusional. You could be delusional because you don't want to see it OR because you haven't seen it... YET. But let me fill you in on the lowdown: This walk ain't for the faint of heart. It is not. Some people are going to feel bad after they read this post. There are going to be some generalizations about life and people and some of you will not like what I have to say... get over yourself, I am about to type the truth while my baby sleeps.

Here we go:

Folks LOVE Black people, as long as we are giving them what they want. They have nothing to say if we are entertaining them (through sports, music, acting, etc); they certainly have no complaints if we are giving them our money. No one bats an eyelash at Black folks when they need us to win an election or to make their invention that new "hot" thing. Then, they love us. But let US decide to let Y'ALL know when shit ain't right. Some of y'all haven't been right since Dr. Avery (Jesse Williams) told you the get down at the BET Awards. But he is just a flighty actor, right? They get paid to be overly sensitive and shit. Right? Oh. Ok. So when Colin Kaepernick decided not to stand during the National Anthem... You.Can't.Take.It. How do I know y'all can't take it? Because now he is Black. When he entered the NFL, all stories were about this (supa fine) biracial quarterback who made it out of foster care and MADE IT against the odds. Feel good storyline, for the win. Now he is that disrespectful, Black, hater for taking a stand against the injustices that he sees. {For what it is worth, most biracial folks are deemed "Black" when they piss off large groups of people... examples would be Jesse Williams, Halle Berry, President Obama, Tiger Woods... and now, Colin Kaepernick}.

I actually laughed out loud when I saw that people were burning Colin Kaepernick jerseys and demanding that he lose his job. You have GOT to fucking be kidding me. These are the same folks that were so excited when he signed with the 49ers, thinking he was going to lead them to victory. See, if he had just shut his Black mouth and entertained folks like he was supposed to do, then there would be no problem. Right?

The problem is NOT Colin Kaepernick. The problem is that not enough athletes will use their platform to protest. The problem is that once some Black folks "make it" they think they are above the fray... and they don't have to protest to be seen as human. The problem is that injustices are done to United States citizens EVERY day and no one wants to hear about it. Just because you don't want to hear about it doesn't mean that people won't talk about it. We should all be clear on the idea that Black people make up approximately 13 percent of the America population and damn near 65 percent of the prison population. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!? We are not all criminals. Shit, not like that. We need to be clear on the idea that minorities are prosecuted... in the streets of our cities... every day. I mean, how exactly is that not clear? How do you expect ALL of us to remain silent on facts? Better yet, WHY WOULD YOU WANT US TO BE SILENT??? Shouldn't we all fight injustice? Shouldn't we all want America to be better? I'll tell you why people want us to be quiet: they don't care. If it isn't happening to their children or family members then they don't care. If they can still afford to live in the suburbs and send their kids to the best schools in the city, they don't care. They don't care.

If you aren't Black, you don't know. You don't know the lessons I am going to have to teach my biracial daughter. You don't know how many times I have been called a Black bitch. You don't know how many times my law abiding ass has been followed by the police, store security guards, sheriff deputies-- for no reason other than "I didn't belong" where ever I was. You don't know what Colin Kaepernick has seen. If that man is telling you that he has seen some injustices and he feels betrayed in this country that kills folks that look like him... believe him. Shit, more than half of the problem with race relations in this country is that we have to keep having the same conversation over and over again. I am Black. I am human. I have worth. Y'all won't steal MY shine (or Colin's). Stop making me rub it in your face remind you.

Dear America

Dear America:

Hey girl. It is your favorite caramel colored girlfriend. Originally, I was going to wish you a belated birthday, but honey, we have some things that we need to talk about. I am feeling some type of way about you. I mean, you just turned 240 years old on Monday and you are not adulting well. I mean, I really think that you are too old for these ongoing problems that you have. These last few years, our relationship has been strained and so now, here I am, with an ultimatum.

Listen. You gotta stop lying to yourself and others. America, you keep telling folks that everyone is welcome and that you are friendly. Ma'am, nothing is farther from the truth. We all know that everyone isn't welcome. Why do you keep touting that line of thought? History tells us that it isn't true... What you allow in your house shows us, every day, that you don't want diversity here. Within your borders, people (of color) are ROUTINELY marginalized, CONSISTENTLY demonized, REGULARLY disenfranchised and HABITUALLY murdered for simply being. You don't have love for us, girl. And when one of us stands up to tell you just how unfair the treatment that we are receiving is, the clap back is swift. You aren't nice, chick. You allow our children to be murdered; our husbands to be taken. You don't blink when our elderly die in poverty, unable to afford the drugs that could keep them alive. It doesn't bother you that our neighborhoods are falling apart or that we are overlooked for jobs and promotions. You are not surprised and often find excuses for police who brutalize your citizenry. I mean, why do you keep inviting folks to your house if you don't want to straighten up first? You know what I mean? I just don't understand. Why invite family over, only to spit in their faces? That is what you are doing. You are spitting in our faces-- and we have had enough.  

You pretend to love us, but that love is only good if we stay in the boxes that you have picked out for us. You want us to make you look good. You want us to entertain you-- on tv, at the movie theater, through sports and at concerts. But, you don't want us to ever think that we are more than that. We are here to entertain you and the moment we stop, you turn on us like an inebriated spouse. Often you use us for entertainment then for target practice. We are targets for your abuse-- in which you want us to suffer silently. Stay in our place, save face (for you) and do it all quietly. America, girl, that is not how this works. That is not how any of this works.

Look, I want to take this time to let you know that you wouldn't have your house without us. We have been here from the beginning. Actually, darling, now would be the time to remind you that you brought many of us here against our will. And now you are systematically, emotionally and physically, killing the same folks you enslaved all those years ago. America, girl, you are too old for this! Since we just celebrated your birthday, I feel the need to remind you what happened 240+ years ago that brought about your birth. America, YOU are the result of the ultimate protest. Your founders were tired of being shit upon, so they left the game and started YOU. Now, darling, let's use some common sense here... If you have spent all of your years shitting on some folks, what, exactly can you foresee them doing? Are you trying to get history to repeat itself? Are you trying to make an uprising happen? Do you think that we will allow an extermination of certain folks just happen?

America, I am writing this letter because I love you. I love the idea of you. I love being a part of you. Now I want you to love me back. I want you to respect me and other Brown and Black folks. I want to be able to be proud of you when I leave your shores for vacation or business. I want folks to be able to look to you for guidance... not just military or monetary help. I want to be able to tell my daughter that her life will be respected because she is considered a gem in her own country. A gem... not a burden. In short America, I need you to get your shit together, sis. I mean I can't keep writing you warnings about this fucked up behavior. If you keep disrespecting your citizens they will rise up-- it is inevitable. We are not expendable. Our children are not to be used as kindling in the streets, America. Our fathers and breadwinners are not to be brutalized as examples, America. Our mothers and daughters are not here to be assaulted by you, America. We are not expendable. Saying that doesn't make us ungrateful, or selfish or racist. It makes us citizens and it makes you accountable. Stop murdering us. Stop excusing our murders. Just stop it.

Coddled Children, Horrific Adults

You know, things have changed in my life. Dramatic changes. Three months ago I was a housewife, now I am a stay at home mom of one tremendously adorable, chunky baby girl. I still run a household, but the mother part... the mother part changes everything. As a parent; a new parent, I hold the best wishes and thoughts for my daughter. She is not yet two months old and I already tell her that she can do and be anything. And I believe that for her. Hell, I believe that for me. I will raise her with all the insights that I have picked up, all the grace I was raised with, the sassiness, elegance, etiquette and chutzpah I can muster. I will do all that I can to provide her with a proper example of how a LADY is supposed to act. That being said, you never know how that will turn out. I mean, parents don't have a manual. Shit, I wish we did. There is no way to guarantee that your child will be a responsible, caring, empathetic adult. There is, however, a very easy way to make sure your kid will be a terrible adult... coddling them even when they display despicable behavior. 

By now we have all heard of Brock Turner, the former Stanford swimmer that was convicted of raping an unconscious woman. This "man" will serve six months in JAIL, not prison, three years probation and will have to register as a sex offender. For RAPING an UNCONSCIOUS woman behind a dumpster. So a judge totally kissed Brock's ass with that sentence... possibly because he also went to Stanford. Maybe it was because he wanted the victim to feel some sort of shame. Most likely the judge gave him that sentence because he doesn't have a daughter and/or he is a douche. Just when you thought that the shit pile was as tall as it was going to get, along comes a letter written by Brock's dad, Dan. Dan says that Brock's "every waking moment is filled with worry, anxiety, fear and depression." As they should be, Dan because your kid violated someone who could not say no or fight back. Dan goes on to refer to the rape as "20 minutes of action" and says that "incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock." He knows this because he is his father. Sir, have a stadium full of seats and shut the fuck up. Immediately. 

Also, much has been made about the amount of alcohol that was consumed by the involved parties. Sincerely, I don't care if a woman or man drinks from sun up to sun down. The act of taking advantage of an intoxicated person is criminal. I don't care if a man is drunk and walking down the street naked, if I proceed to have sex with that man I am a rapist. He cannot consent. If there is any situation which precludes someone from saying (and meaning) "Hot, Black and Bitter I am an adult and I want you to do naughty things to me" then I am guilty of a crime. Point blank, period. And, truthfully, my parents would never let me do something as heinous as rape someone and then give me excuse after excuse after excuse so that I could get out of it. They taught me right from wrong, so, if ever I decided to do the wrong thing, my dad would let my ass sit in jail... and I would deserve it. 

Maybe if Dan was more of a hands on father his son would not think it was ok to rape an unconscious woman. Perhaps if Brock had some "appropriate punishment" at some point in life then he would not be in the situation he is in now. Listen, I said it above, I am going to break my back to make sure that my child has everything she needs to be a productive member of society. That said, I will NOT play the ultra devoted parent when my kid admits that she has done something wrong. I am not going to coddle her when she does something wrong because the world will not coddle your children. Well, if your kid is not a white male or a professional athlete the world will not coddle them. My child is neither, but even if she were... I would need her to know that while I love her, I will not cosign horrific behavior. Now Dan wants his son to be able to "give back to society in a net positive way." How about you raise a kid that is not a rapist? Maybe that is how Dan should have given back to society? Whatever happened to parents being parents? Disciplinarians? Moral compasses? C'mon, y'all- make sure your kids are people that we all want to share space with. Make sure that your kids know that bad behavior equals consequences. 

Manic Monday - McKinney, Texas

I cannot even deal. By now everyone with access to the internet/interwebs/Madame Google has seen the now infamous video of a rogue cop brutalizing Black children at a pool party. I chose those words very carefully-- rogue cop brutalizing Black children... because truly, that is what happened. I took to my personal Facebook page and aired my digest with the whole situation. I have laid out arguments about police brutalization on this blog before and honestly, my argument has not changed.

I should not have to change my reaction to bad behavior by police, so that they can feel better about themselves. I should not have to kiss their asses so they won't see me as a threat and end my life. I should not have to tell people that racism is real. I should not get blow back from acquaintances who have absolutely no clue about the life I live, or the treatment that I get from police on a regular basis.

You know what? I refuse to believe that people see these viral videos and immediately think that they are fake. People know that this shit is actually going down. They excuse the behavior because (and I am about to hurt some "liberal" feelings) they believe the stereotypes. Some of them believe that minorities deserve this degradation, but would never say so out loud. But their actions (or non action) says it, loud and clear. That statement is for my silent white friends, my silent Asian friends, and most definitely my silent Black friends. Silence is acceptance. There were other police officers there, parents and adults and not ONE attempted to step in and get the cop under control. When he threw that little girl to the ground, several times, there were adults right there. Silent adults who, through their actions, screamed their acceptance of his awful behavior. For me, that is the truly despicable part.

I will continue to speak out. I will continue to fight. I will continue to be dismayed at the bad behavior of the few and he willful blindness of the many.

Monday Musings - Exhaustion

I look at the world in which we live and I have to admit... I grow tired. Today the family of Freddie Gray laid his body to rest and the city of Baltimore erupted in riots. And the court of public opinion erupted with name calling and judgments passed. And then there is me-- tired. Tired of the cause, tired of the automatic judgments, tired of lazy police work and tired of lazy self discipline.

I am sitting here watching the news and I am hearing the Police Commissioner and even the Mayor of Baltimore- both Black, lay blame SOLELY at the feet of the protesters, and that, my friends, is wrong. Too many times I see my Facebook feed full of people from Columbus, Ohio talking about what they WOULD not do... which is really easy because we DON'T have to do anything. We have been blessed - thus far - because central Ohio has been relatively unscathed by police brutality. But you can't be lulled into some false sense of security because it hasn't happened to you. You cannot completely dismiss the cause of their anger. You cannot discount the pain that the community feels at yet ANOTHER unnecessary death. You cannot and more importantly SHOULD NOT dismiss these city uprisings as simply criminal behavior. If you do that, you are being short sighted. You are giving no legitimacy at all to the daily fight that comes with being born Black/Brown in America.

Now-- I think it is necessary (and easy FOR ME) to say that I don't agree with the destruction of property or harming people. I do not agree with looting, stealing or felonies during a time of protest. I also do not agree with the militarization of an American city, injuring police officers or the unnecessary death of a citizen while in police custody.

I do not agree with all of those things. On any given day, I would not flood the streets with my friends and protest. On a normal day in the life of Hot, Black and Bitter I would not advocate for what is happening in Baltimore this evening. HOWEVER, these are not normal times. These are not average days. The facts are these: almost every month since July 2014 there has been a VERY public death of a minority person... all over the country. You read that right. Starting with Eric Garner in July and ending with Freddie Gray a week and a half ago, there have been at least 10 deaths of minorities where there is video/proof of misconduct. And for each of these instances there has been no answer. Nothing. There has been no movement made to make streets safer for Black and Brown citizens to be on. There has been no follow through with community groups. How do I know that? Because the undercurrent of disenfranchisement continues to run deep.

It is amazing that people actually think there is a "proper" way to protest. There is not proper way to protest. Good behavior is not always going to get what you want, what you need. People are sick of constantly living with a target on their back; of being treated like a criminal- even if they are law abiding; being stopped for a broken tail light and ending up in the morgue. The conditions which people are forced to live under lays down a trail towards civil disobedience. And as long as there are severe instances of misconduct or intolerable conditions, there will be an angry response. And there SHOULD be. Protest against the status quo is what America is built on... or have y'all forgotten? Our "founding fathers" protested and fought wars to get what they wanted. Our country continues to do that on a global scale NOW. It truly is the American Way. So why all the name calling on the streets of Baltimore, NYC, Ferguson, Cleveland, Chicago? You know why... and so do I.

Just an aside to all y'all folks saying that you can't understand the reasoning behind these protests... count yourself lucky. Be happy that you have not been placed in a position where you would need to protest and potentially put your life on the line. Be glad that the injustice that blacks the eye of our country on a global scale has not touched YOU. Maybe the view from that high horse is different than what we can see when our boots are on the ground and our hearts are on our sleeves?

For The Sake of My Siblings

I have nine brothers and a nephew. That is ten, count them, TEN men that could possibly been seen as a threat and ripped away from my family in the blink of an eye. Well, let me revise that statement: I have 1 Black nephew, 1 Bi-racial brother, 7 Black brothers and 1 White brother. In our family, I can honestly say, that the race of my siblings do NOT matter, ah, but here in America, it matters. Looking at the history of our great nation AND the events of tonight, it is easy for me to see that my youngest brother, my White brother, will not have the same lifetime experiences as the others. The way that they are raised will be the same. The consequences for bad behavior in our house will get you the exact same punishment that has been handed out since I was a kid. My parents haven't changed; what is right and wrong hasn't changed, but somehow, my sweet little brother Jonathan has the possibility of being treated like a HUMAN BEING, while, at some point in their lives, that WILL NOT be afforded to my nephew and my other brothers.

Tonight, America has had the real opportunity to see what the justice system is like. Not a Law And Order episode, but real life. The story of Mike Brown could have taken a real turn towards America actually recognizing that Race Relations are not anywhere close to where we want it to me. It could have given hope to those who had lost it; it could have restored some faith in humanity; it could have been a representation of the justice serving those that can do nothing for her (and that is rare). It could have. But it did not.

Let me be clear, for those of you who don't know-- a grand jury has ONE job, it is to say "hey- this is enough evidence to go to trial." That is it. An indictment does not mean that Darren Wilson would be found guilty or pay the price for shooting a Black child in the street and letting his body fester in the August heat. An indictment does not mean that Michael Brown was completely innocent in this situation. An indictment does not mean that race relations would get better in Ferguson. An indictment would simply mean that the state could move on to TRY Darren Wilson in a courtroom. That is all. So when I see that the grand jury could not even muster an indictment, could not even say that "hey, ONE of these autopsies show something that y'all should discuss at trial", or "hey- there is an UNARMED teenager lying dead in the street and maybe someone should be held responsible for that." The fact that they could not even move on to a trial... you can understand how I would be dismayed. Shocked. Angry. Frustrated. Right?!

This case is not about fairness. It is not about protecting a police officer. It is not about ridding society of a leech. It IS about Blackness in America. It IS about the overreaction of police officers when dealing with Black men. It IS about the awful reality that Black children are far more likely to be killed by police officers than their white counterparts and it IS absolutely about the vast majority of Americans closing their eyes- WILLFULLY- to the suffering of their fellow man. Continuously blaming these victims for their OWN deaths. It IS about Michael Brown, Eric Garner, John Crawford, Ezell Ford, Dante Parker and Tamir Rice. It IS. It IS about my nephew, Justus. My brothers: Jeff, Ronald, Frank, Christopher, Tyron, Les, Joshua, Jackson and Jonathan. My father. My cousins. My neighbors. My city. My state. It IS about entire states showing that they don't give a damn about the lives of more than half of their constituency. It IS about the legal system disregarding the rights of the Black and Brown populations. It IS about an entire system which continues to persecute races unlawfully and without remorse.

It keeps me up at night. It makes me worry. It makes me happy that Lefty and I do not have children that would be subjected to this unkind, unfair and unnecessary treatment. It makes me want to hug my brothers and watch them, wherever they go. I am sad, y'all. The people of Ferguson have been done a huge disservice. The state of Missouri SHOULD be in uproar. Major cities that have large minority populations should be epicenters of (peaceful) protests-- even though they don't deal with US peacefully. The Brown family should sue Darren Wilson, the City of Ferguson, the Police Chief, the Prosecuting Attorney and whoever else they can think of for the wrongful death of their son. As of right now, the legal community that I once wanted to be a part of so badly has let me down...again. And not just me... I have nine brothers and a nephew.

Straight into the Fire

*Stretches, cracks knuckles, deep breaths*
What's happening, people? One month and 17 days ago, I abandoned this lovely outlet to go and have a fantastic summer as a newlywed. It has been great, but I have missed sounding off on the happenings of the world. So, I decided last week that I would not wait until Labor Day to get back at it. So here I am, pissing people off, in writing, again. Ah, it feels good!! So my first topic? I'm bypassing the "What I did For Summer Vacation" essays (they are coming later) and I am going to go right into the fire, my friends and write about what I know... Growing up Black in the United States of America.

Ferguson, Missouri. A town you didn't know about three weeks ago has people divided these days. Michael Brown, a teenager two days from the beginning of his college career, was gunned down by a police officer in the street... broad daylight, in front of witnesses. Since then, people have easily taken sides, accusations have been thrown and the denial of race being part of the equation has been exponential. I have more than one opinion, which I will share, but I have a few KEY points that have to be front and center. So-- read these points and consider them AS you read my opinions. In other words, don't be dense- read everything before you comment... Don't make me cuss your dumb ass out. You know, the norm!

Key Points:
1. I support police officers. They have a VERY hard job. A job that I would NEVER want to have. With that hard job comes a ton of responsibility and far too often, officers are not responsible.
2. I do not condone breaking the law. I try not to and expect the same from fellow citizens. If a large group of citizens insist on breaking the law-- I have no issue with the National Guard being called out to restore order and enforce a curfew.
3. Race plays a part in every day life in America. When people deny that race is an issue in America, I automatically think they are idiots. Not just ignorant, but willfully so. And it makes me want to vomit.
4. I love, love, LOVE that this Facebook, online protesting generation has taking to the streets to try to exact some change in their neighborhoods. I fucking love it, and it should happen more often. Groups absolutely should stand up and shout that their children are not to be hunted in the streets like animals... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
5. I am VERY quick to correct bad behavior, on any one's part. I don't care if you look like me, if you are tall, short, Black, White, Asian, foreign or domestic, relative or total stranger-- if you are participating in some bullshit, I will call your ass out... you should know/do/be better. Looting is unnecessary and counter-productive. Destroying your own neighborhood is idiotic.

OK- with those key points in mind, here are my opinions. Police Officer Wilson is an overreacting jackass and now the City of Ferguson Police Department is trying to make this incident something that it was not... so that they can save face. In that process they are, in fact, making the situation worse and coming off as backwoods racist people who are stupid. As this situation wears on, I feel as though there will a tragic injustice done to Michael Brown, his family and his memory... which will try to be rectified by a correction of his character assassination on page 18 of the local paper- no national news coverage and that is.a.tragedy.

The way I see it (from the credible information I have found): Mike Brown and his little buddy were being assholes, walking in the middle of the street (which I hate, I mean my tax dollars purchased a very happenin' sidewalk... to walk on-- it is in the name, dude). Assassin Wilson, I mean Officer Wilson took exception and asked them to get their asses on the sidewalk (you know, a place for them to walk). They were smart asses back. Wilson decided to be sensitive sally and be super butt hurt that someone was ignoring his authority. So, officer bad ass decided that he was going to make these Black boys do what he said. And it all spiraled out of control from there.

Let me be clear: teenagers are dumb asses. They are, generally, rude. But nothing that Michael Brown did in the streets of Ferguson, MO that day was worth his life. He was unarmed and was assassinated in the streets of Ferguson-- hands in the air, surrendering to this sensitive police officer. I do not believe that Mike Brown tried to bum rush his assassin. I do not believe that he was involved in a strong arm robbery... and, while conveniently thrown in after the firestorm began, I do not believe that the sensitive cop knew that there was a robbery or that he was chasing a suspect. There are ways to stop an unarmed suspect that are not fatal. None of which include shooting said suspect 6 times, including twice in the head. No one will be able to convince me that officer sensitive HAD to shoot that boy 6 times.

So, how is race important in this situation, you ask? Let me tell you! I believe that officer sensitive pants would have been less likely to follow those boys if they were white. And when was the last time you heard of a white guy being shot down in the street at the hands of the police, unarmed, with hands raised? How often does that happen? Also, let's be frank... when white boys, some the age of Mike Brown, shoot up movie theaters and elementary schools, they are labeled as mentally unstable. They have psychologists on the television saying that so-and-so had a mental illness since they were children; for Mike Brown, the scenario is that he is a thug and a possible armed robber. Now, I am not saying that he wasn't- because, unlike all the other social media kings and queens with fake law degrees, I didn't know him personally, didn't know his activities, etc. I just find it peculiar that the first pictures that make the rounds on media outlets are those where a man purported to be Mike Brown (but it is NOT him, but you know, us dark skins all look alike) is smoking weed, throwing up gang signs and looking menacing. Why is the thug image so easy to believe? Could it possibly be because that is how most people think of Black people as a whole? I mean, let's be honest-- why are you so quick to say "Jesus, they should just get over it," or "THEY just want to have something to complain about," or "He deserved it," or "He should have done what the officer said," or "That is what happens when you rob people..." etc. Why is shooting an unarmed child in the street OK? It isn't. That is all that needs to be said. No matter what Officer Sensitive has to say the only response should be -- it is NOT OK to shoot our unarmed children in the streets of our cities.

Far too often, we give officers a pass. Too often, we offer up our children to the streets- seeing their ultimate sacrifice as a toll that certain neighborhoods just have to pay. Too often we allow the media to portray the Black community as ignorant, rowdy, and burdensome on the country. All too often we buy into the stereotypes that are circulating about us. We need a catalyst to take back our streets, our cities, the lives of our children. Quite possibly that is the ultimate goal that Michael Brown's death will serve-- a tide turning revolution to get our babies back, our reputations back, our communities... back. Get out there and take part in our revolution.

Welcome back, readers ;)

BHM2014 - Abram Lincoln Harris, Jr.

Abram Lincoln Harris, Jr., (January 17, 1899 – November 6, 1963) the grandson of slaves, was the first nationally recognized black economist. Harris was highly respected for his work that focused primarily on class analysis, black economic life, and labor to illustrate the structural inadequacies of race and racial ideologies.  As a social critic, Harris took an active radical stance on racial relations by examining historical black involvement in the workplace, and suggested that African Americans needed to take more action in race relations. Harris’s major published works include The Negro Population in Minneapolis: A Study of Race Relations (1926), The Black Worker: the Negro and the Labor Movement (1931), and a book co-authored with Sterling D. Spero, The Negro as Capitalist (1936).  His final book, Economics and Social Reform, appeared in 1958. 

Born in 1899 in Richmond, Virginia to parents Abram Lincoln Harris, Sr., a butcher, and Mary Lee, a teacher, Harris grew up as part of the black middle class community in Richmond. After high school Harris earned a bachelor of sciences degree from Virginia Union University in 1922. 

After graduation from Virginia Union, Harris enrolled at the New York School of Social Work and worked briefly for the National Urban League (NUL) and the Messenger, the leading black Socialist newspaper.  Harris taught for one year at the West Virginia Collegiate Institute (now West Virginia State University) and then earned an M.A. from the University of Pittsburgh in 1924. Harris was appointed head of the Department of Economics at Howard University in 1928 and later completed his doctorate in economics from Columbia University in 1930. He taught in the economics department at Howard University from 1936 to 1945 and taught at the University of Chicago from then until his death.

In the 1940s Abram Harris, along with E. Franklin Frazier, Allison Davis, and Ralph Bunche, was selected by the Swedish economist Gunnar Myrdal as “insiders” to work on his ground breaking study An American Dilemma which was published in 1944.  Toward the end of the 1940s Harris began to retreat from his earlier work, progressive and race politics, and began to concentrate on economic philosophy. 

Abram Harris died in Chicago, Illinois on November 16, 1963.  He was 64.

BHM2014 - An Education Waiting to Happen

A few years ago I wrote this. And two years ago, I wrote this. Put those two posts together and you can see that I really had no intention of writing about Black History Month (BHM2014) at all. I am really of the mindset that if a group wants others to know more about their culture, then they would 1. teach their children about said culture and 2. teach others - all the time- about the outstanding culture that they come from. I never see that during BHM. I mean,  ok, I have a couple friends on Facebook who will post about BHM, but even those posts are of the more well known activists, educators and civil rights figures. Not that I care about that, I am just excited that someone is making an effort. But two, possibly three, friends… out of 800? I think I am safe with the assumption that the biggest secret of BHM is that Black people are more than slavery and the Civil Rights Movement; which is a shame. Still, I have to say that I was going to skip out on participating in BHM2014 because I am always interested in seeing exactly WHAT people will do when they notice a problem going unchecked.

Then, February 1st happened. February 1, 2014, the google doodle- heard around the world- was of Harriet Tubman, raising a lamp. The responses were quick and very different. Some people were glad to see that Google put forth some effort to welcome BHM. Some people complained (to be expected) that Google wanted to be sure to remind Black people that we were once slaves. These are (I'm sure) the same people who would also complain if Google did nothing, or not say anything to the companies that put forth absolutely no effort. Then came the foolishness that Zimmerman is going to be involved in a celebrity fight. First, I was unaware that Zimmerman was a "celebrity" and second, I am sure thousands of people will actually watch that fight. The misguided people will watch, cheering for Zimmerman to get knocked the fuck out, all the while helping to line his pockets with money and endorsements… because people don't think about the consequences of their watching. They just have short sighted goals.

Going with the idea of NOT being shortsighted, I have decided that I should participate in the public celebration of BHM2014. For one simple reason: If I don't, I will have no one else to blame for people not knowing Black History. Y'all I am so tired of seeing BHM just comprised of Martin Luther King, Jr, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman and all the rest of the regulars. I hate it. The Black community is so much more than the 1800s and the 1960s. You know, a LOT of shit happened between the time we were imported here and the death of MLK. Let the school books tell it, Black History Month should be  a constant repeat of those mentioned above and possibly throw in Rosa Parks, possibly Booker T. Washington and WEB DuBois, if you are being fancy. If you ask SOME people, Black History Month is not necessary because ere since we elected a Black President we have because post-racial America. Oh, the ignorance. That, my friends, is unacceptable… Hot, Black and Bitter to the rescue. Starting tomorrow I will post (at least ) 28 of the unsung heroes of this movement known as Black Life in America. Some people you will have never heard of, which is cool because I am going to use this as a teaching experience. Because I have moved back to my hometown- I will let you know, I am definitely going to include some Black Ohioans. Watch the blog for the rest of the month, learn something new and share it.

No one should be comfortable being completely ignorant of American History and that what Black History month is about… American History, the good, the bad and everything in between. Let's get to learning, y'all.

While You Were Sleeping - Harriet Tubman

It is almost 1 AM. I NOW have a day job. I was so ready to go to sleep, until I saw references to THIS:



Ok, First of all- this shit is NOT funny. At all. In any form. Second- the fact that not only were they able to find Black actors to downplay the real rapes and savagery that took place during slavery as a JOKE... AND the fact that this appeared on Russell Simmons' All Def Digital YouTube channel- is astounding. Absolutely unbelievable. Third, and here is the true tragedy, there will be more Black people who see NO problem with this video. They may even chuckle. They will not correct others who DO laugh at this. They will be silent.

Now listen, I am not one to jump on a soapbox at the drop of a hat. This blog represents my personality in small snapshots, on topics that I choose to write about. Lately, the subjects are somewhat frivolous, but this is serious. As a lover of history, I have to say... The United States has had a sordid past- that is no surprise to anyone. The history of slavery in this country (and around the world) is no laughing matter. There is no denying that some people's reality has been shaped by the atrocities of 400+ years of a horrid system of buying and selling human beings, of split up families, of beatings and rapes that took place for no other reason than having the ability to do them without repercussion. There is no denying that America, is NOT in fact, post racial anything. We have all held onto stereotypes that began in the infancy of our country-- and some of us hold those stereotypes as truth in 2013.

What I hold as truth is as follows: I will not, ever, support Russell Simmons. Not ever. The fact that he, as a Black man in America okayed this... video... shows me that he does not have my interests, or the interests of a strong Black community, in mind.

Another truth (and I have held this one for decades- I have said it before and clearly I need to say it again): I will not support entertainers, movie "stars", producers, people on the street or relatives that use the N-word. I don't care if you are Paula Deen, Paula from high school, Paula down the street or Auntie Paula- there is NO excuse for anyone to use that word. Black people kill me trying to take back hurtful words- that one in particular. And non-Black people kill me when they try to explain why they should be allowed to say it. You will not disrespect me, my momma, my community, people who have died for the cause, no matter their race or humankind in general, by uttering that word in my presence. I do not care who you are. Father so and so, Pastor so and so, rapper so and so. Listen, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter says whatever the hell he wants and EVEN he does not say that word in front of me. If I ain't taking it from him... You surely will NOT get a pass.


The truth above all truths: I am a proud, strong, capable woman who knows the history of the country that she loves. I respect my history as a Black woman and the history of others. If I made a video about how much Jews really loved the Halocaust--how Hitler was actually a savior to the Jews he confined in the ghettos of Europe; or, how much Native Americans really loved marching the Trail of Tears and being forced to give up all they knew by outsiders who wanted more resources-- how they appreciated helping the English survive the winter on the East Coast, only to have those same people take everything that they had. If I made a video that somehow poked fun at the war crimes that are going on right now against POWs and others being held against their will. If I trivialized someone else's well noted struggle-- how would that be taken? Who would reprimand me? Someone would, right? So where is that someone NOW? Why is it that no one is standing up for the Black community when ideas like this are being thrown around the production room? Why didn't Russell Simmons see a problem with this mess BEFORE it made it to YouTube? Before there was outrage? WHERE WAS HIS OUTRAGE?? Why didn't the two Black actors in this skit say to themselves "hmm- this really is NOT funny, maybe we should try something else?" What made anyone think that this was okay? Why, when I do defend the Black community I am pegged as out of touch, or too sensitive? And for God's sake WHERE are the rest of the Black people who have a problem with this???


I am so tired of this. Here is the lesson that we (Black) people need to learn: the only way that the ills of our community can be cured is if we, as a community, stop putting up with substandard behavior from our members. We can't blame other people. We have got to nip the nonsense in the bud, all over. So that means, I have no love for Russell Simmons--- or his offspring. I don't live for making his pockets fatter. I have no love for all these rappers that are making it seem as though we are all fools who can't speak English and have thousands of babies without marriage. I have no love for the drug dealers and ridiculous petty criminals in our community. I draw the line and supporting EVERYTHING just because it is Black. Putting up with craziness is not my forte-- no matter who is bringing the crazy. People, we have GOT to expect and receive better from our own community, because I can't have another night like tonight. I can't watch another Black person acting like a fool for a few inappropriate laughs. I'm so done with this bullshit. So done.


 

Our Relationship with Black Politicians

As I was perusing Facebook today, I came across a post about my city. Our Mayor, Michael Coleman, announced yesterday that Columbus is being honored as one of the most intelligent cities in the world and that there will be a free public celebration with community leaders... Ok, I was excited. How great that the city that I live in is being honored like that, right? Right?

 Clearly, I need to drink more haterade, so that I can be on the same level as other Facebookers. I mean, you should SEE some of the comments that were left on this announcement. It was so bad that I felt the need to comment on these people (obviously). There were the run of the mill "Congrats" which I guess I expected. Then there were the "April Fools" comments since it was posted on April 1. As I scrolled down, though, my heart began to sink and my anger began to rise. Who is shocked by that? No one? Ok, moving on.

I will quote the comments...

"it sure is april fools...if we were that intelligent we wouldn't keep electing this demonrat moron."

To be expected also... I think. I have never really grasped the reasoning behind liking a page on Facebook of someone you dislike, only to leave hate filled messages when they post something. Who has time for that? And really, why would you want to do that? Next one:

"Intelligent only because we have OSU, CCAD, CSCC, Franklin, ITT, DeVry in close proximity. However, they get educated and LEAVE because there's nothing here. Especially for the film, music, art community."

Also, to be expected... though this comment is incorrect. There are tons of arts and music to be had and made in Columbus. There are TONS of people who come here for school who fall in love with the city and never leave (Lefty, for example). And, I have to say, unlike Cleveland and Cincinnati and other bigger cities in Ohio, Columbus is booming with business, jobs, education and family friendly venues. I feel like I always have to defend where I grew up to people who have never been here, but if you live in Columbus and think it has nothing to offer my one question would be: Why don't you move? Be a part of the educated masses that "LEAVE because there's nothing here." Wouldn't we all be better off? I mean, you wouldn't have to take time out of your oh so busy day to leave ridiculous comments on the Mayor's Facebook page. Comments that 1 - probably won't hurt his feelings and 2 - he is NOT likely to read, since he is, you know, busy running the city.

Here is a funny one:

"Oh dear, I clearly haven't been factored into the intelligence measure." I chuckled when I read that!

And here is the kicker:

"The poor condition of Black African Americans in Columbus has a direct correlation to your leadership. There are still artificial barriers intentionally designed that deny Blacks access to city, county and state programs that dole our our tax dollars. City Council just gave $500,000 to TechColumbus, but did anyone ask to see their track record of funding Black African Americans? Black Entrepreneurs must leave Columbus and Ohio to achieve any success due to racist policies that Black Faces in High Places help to maintain. That's a dam shame!"

Ok, how do I say this without offending people? Oh, I don't- here goes: Seriously, what? Michael Coleman is NOT in charge of all Black people in Columbus, simply because he is Black. This guy wants to see the track record of funding for Black people--  I want to see the number of Black people who actually applied for funding and what they wanted funding for. Racist policies? Clearly this man has never lived in Chicago, where nepotism rules the roost; or some places in the South, where racist is overt and dangerous.

I have said this before and I will say it again- Black politicians cannot be looked at like they will/can "save" the Black race. That is ridiculous. Our community has problems, like any other. Those problems were not brought on by one person, so one person cannot solve them. Black or not. President, Mayor, City Counsel member, whomever. Some barriers that block Black people are self built. Having Black people in every part of government/leadership is not going to fix all that ails the Black community. At some point the Black community, or any other community that is having trouble, will have to realize that certain problems need a hands on approach. We cannot continue the attempts to pass the buck to Black politicians to fix "us." And, more importantly, if we have problems, why on Earth would we allow someone else to fix them? Problem solving for an individual starts on a personal level, right? If there is a mess and you want it cleaned up, you pick up a broom and some rags and get to cleaning, right? So, why then are we comfortable handing over the reins to one person to fix a problem that, ultimately, starts at home?

If there is no funding, where are the protests? If there is a history of unfair treatment, where are the marches? If there is an overabundance of violence in our community, where are the calls to the police? The cries for justice? The fight against the hoodlums? The fight against stereotypes? The fight for innocence? The passion for the betterment of our community? Where is it? Are you producing that fight, or waiting for a Black politician to give you the podium? What are you waiting for?


 

Why I Won't Sign Your Trayvon Martin Petition

So, this blog has been relatively silent in the last couple of weeks. I have seen some things go down in the media and have chosen to keep my opinion to myself so far... until today. I thought about writing this entry a couple of days ago, but wanted to sleep on the idea, because I am sure that it will not be well received. Eh, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. The following is my opinion on the Trayvon Martin (TM) situation taking place in Florida. For all that don't know, TM was an unarmed, Black 17 year old boy that was walking home in Florida and was shot and killed by a neighborhood watch member, George Zimmerman. The killing took place on February 26.

Let me just start by saying this: Do I believe that George Zimmerman should be arrested? YES. Do I think that he killed TM, in cold blood, for no reason other than his own demented issues? YES. Do I think that Zimmerman was racially motivated? YES. Do I think that the Sanford, Florida police fucked up the investigation, topped off by the fact that they did not arrest Zimmerman the vigilante? DOUBLE YES. Do I feel sympathy towards TM's family? Absolutely YES. Will I sign your petition to get "justice" for TM? No. No, I won't and I want you to STOP asking me. Listen, I am not going to feel bad about it either. I will not be bullied on social media to sign some shit, just so some of you assholes can feel good about your regular non-action, and I don't care. How about that?

People are all up in arms because Zimmerman is a non-Black man that shot a young Black man down in the streets. According to all accounts, TM was minding his own business, walking home from a convenience store and did not deserve being shot. People have said this is an onslaught, by the enemy, on the Black community. I disagree. The fact is this: this is not the beginning of the battle- the war has been ongoing and it STARTS and ENDS in our own community. I guess that the thing that pisses me off is that while the situation is ridiculous and should have never happened, the outcry would not be as loud if Zimmerman were a Black man. You may ask why I think that... um, because innocent Black children, in Black neighborhoods are killed every day, by Black people and there are no petitions on facebook, there are no vigils on college campuses, there is no national news coverage. There is just another Black child dead-- usually a young man. George Zimmerman is not the beginning of the American public showing their ultimate disgust with the Black community; he is not the start of the epidemic; not the start of the systematic destruction of the Black community. You know why? Because we do it ourselves-- EVERY day. To me, Zimmerman is just a cog in a machine... a machine that is run by Black folks.

Where was the outrage for Aliyah Shell last weekend in Chicago? What about the other 9 people slain this past weekend? Or the 49 injured in random shootings in the city? Where was the community concern for them? Do they not count because they were (most likely) shot by someone who looks like them? Are the stories of the families any less sad than that of TM's family? Did they deserve it? If not, then where are their petitions? Where is their national news coverage? Where are the YouTube videos seeking justice for them? They. Are. Nonexistent. And that, above all else, is the unfortunate part. Is racism alive and well in the United States of America? Land of the free... Home of the brave? ABSOLUTELY. That cannot/should not be denied. Being a Black woman, I see it. Life as a minority is hard; a lot harder than people think. It is hard to keep your head held high every day. It is difficult to take the high road. It is not easy to be me... and I don't have it bad, by any stretch of the imagination. But hard doesn't mean impossible and it certainly doesn't mean that we can call for someone to be held accountable for THEIR actions, while our actions go unchecked. We aren't holding each other accountable every day in the ghetto and suburbs. Every day, in Chicago and other major cities in America, Black men and women are killed and maimed by other Black men and women... to no fanfare. We let that go. Shit, I let it go. I pass that off as ghetto life-- I am telling you, I'm guilty. So are some of my friends. So are some of the people that are so up in arms about TM.

I'm not saying that there shouldn't be protests, petitions, marches, national attention. There should be. There should be for TM... AND Aliyah-- a six year old who was shot while sitting on her porch. There should be for the unnamed child that will die tonight, tomorrow, next week and during the hottest months this summer. The strongest community takes criticism and fixes its weakest link. The weakest link in the Black community is that there is NO community... not until someone like George Zimmerman enters the picture. Then everyone wants to come together; show some unity against "the man." What about the gangbangers who sell drugs IN our community? They are killing Black people. What about the babies that are beat/shook/molested to death by people in our own community? They are killing our future and our spirit. What about the people in our community who see crime happen and don't tell the police? They are facilitating the death of our community. What about those who commit crimes? They are killing us by feeding the stereotype of what Black people do. What about the young Black man that will pick up a gun tonight and shoot a young Black man walking down the street? That will happen in Chicago, the city where I live, probably in the next 24-48 hours.  The shooter should be held just as responsible as George Zimmerman, and the young man shot should be mourned just as much as TM.

The way that others treat us is a direct reflection on how we treat each other. We cannot expect to see a change in any other group, until we are open and willing to change ourselves... so, how do YOU treat people in OUR community? What are you willing to do to change?

Why We Fight - Racial Ignorance

I read THIS article from another blog that I follow... and immediately caught an attitude. Let me just say this: I am a proud member of a mixed race family. I have white brothers and a sister who have been adopted into a (now) very large Black family, with Black parents and Black siblings. It was not a social experiment. We didn't adopt them to see how things would turn out and we didn't flee from adopting Black babies in favor of adopting these three white children.

This simple ass article, well, really not even an article, did not even reflect the real story in the New York Times, which can be found here. They took the most simplistic, close minded view of the situation that there was: why is a Black family adopting a white baby? They said that Mr. and Mrs. Ware "sought" to adopt a white baby... and that is not true. They sought to adopt as quickly as possible (after suffering three miscarriages) and the baby that was offered for adoption happened to be white. If the "author" of this article read the NYT piece, he or she would know that. If the "author" was not trying so hard to ignite some racist fueled anger and just used, you know, facts, then I would not have to spend the time correcting ignorance. That aside, I have some questions of my own: did they ask the same when Sandra Bullock adopted her Black son? What about when Katherine Heigl and her husband adopted a Korean baby, or when the adopters wet dream, Angelina, went all over the world adopting her clan? Was it a social experiment then? Or is it just a social experiment when a Black family adopts a child that doesn't look like them?

With all the children waiting to be adopted in the United States, does it matter who goes where? Do we all have to match everyone in our families? If I was waiting for a family, should I only get to go with a family who looks like me? After checking out the rest of their site, I do see why the Council of Conservative Citizens want everyone to stick with their own. These are the same crop of people that are undoubtedly building bomb shelters and waiting for the race wars to start. SMH. Yet another group of people with tired images/thoughts of minorities ruining a country built on the backs of those very same minorities. To the members and donors of CoCC, please do not procreate. I do not have the time and inclination to fight all of your nonsensical ideas with my brilliance (and modesty). We have enough ridiculously dumb people roaming the Earth, we do not need your contribution.

Traitor to the Race, That's Me.

Yes, the title is correct—I think. You read that right, I am (proudly) a traitor to what people, specifically most Black people, think that our race has become. I don’t care if y’all try to take away my “black” card, wouldn’t be the first time. You can call me a “white girl”... shit, that happened last week; didn’t move me then and won’t move me now. Not that I think your imaginations are that great, but whatever you can come up with will NOT hurt my feelings, because I have not drank the kool-aid; I don’t believe the hype.
What caused this rant? This past weekend, I travelled to the far south side of the city and saw my old house; the old neighborhood. To say that I was sadly disappointed is an understatement. Not only did I see the old house—or what was left of it, I saw the kids on the corner, and, inside, I went BALLISTIC. Seeing shit that pissed me off when I lived in the hood made me ask myself some questions: Why do young Black men find it an acceptable to stand on the corner—even in inclement weather? Why do young people think that it is ok to trash their own neighborhood? Why do the people around them ALLOW for their surroundings to be decimated? And, for the love of all that is holy, why does everyone seem to think that this is acceptable behavior? Oh, and before I get tons of emails saying: “That happens in every neighborhood; it isn’t just Black people; you’re racist, blah, blah, blah.” Save it. I’m not concerned with other neighborhoods. I didn’t used to live around other races. I lived around Black people- and I am writing about my experiences. If you don’t like it, write your own blog entry.
Now that I have dealt with the crybabies, let’s get down to why I am a traitor. Oh, I have NO love for where the general direction that Black people are headed in, or where it is right now. And I plan on calling all you mofos out on the dumb shit that you do. I do not, will not, ever give you a Black pass. Fuck that. As little as 45 years ago, Black people were dying in the middle of the streets that you dumb asses stand on and sell drugs. You ought to be ashamed. You claim to be hustling. Punk, get a fucking job. That should be your hustle. Selling drugs to your “people” should make your stomach turn. You ought to have more pride in yourself and the struggle that others had to go through so you could be the neighborhood baby daddy who dropped out of school to sell drugs. Oh, and spare me the “a Black man can’t get a fair shake” speech. Know what? Neither can a Black woman. My dad used to tell me all the time—“you have to work three times as hard as everyone else because you already have 2 strikes against you in society—you are black and a woman.” And he was right. So fuck what excuses you got. Excuses are like assholes- everyone has one and they all stink. I don’t care to hear it.
With the invention of social media has come the acceptance of some ass backward behavior. You see people acting an ass and think that shit is cute, so you put it on your wall, share it with your friends. I can’t even tell you how many people I have de-friended because the “n” word is a staple in their vocabulary. Do you know what people had to go through so that we WEREN’T called that? And now y’all think that shit is cute? It is almost every rap song, on people’s YouTube channels and on facebook and Twitter. What brain dead lame came up with that? Or sagging your pants so much that you can’t walk? Or trying to emulate every hip hop star? Let me let you in on a secret... YOU AREN’T A BALLER. You can’t make it rain in the club. It is not cute to have 3, 4, 5 baby mommas. It is NOT your fucking job to populate the ghetto. You have no job, you don’t take care of your kids, you have no education and I AM SICK OF IT.
All these other people like to coddle. That is not my deal. I am not coddling anyone. There seems to be an expectation that you can do whatever the fuck you want and because we are both Black, I have to say, “ok Ray Ray (or Shaquana), I know you have it rough, so go on, do you.” Um, hell no. We all have it rough. Do you think that I want to get up and go to work every day? Making money for someone else? Do you think that I like the fact that I have SEVERAL degrees- including graduate degrees and I don’t get paid NEARLY enough? You think I like struggling after I have done everything I was supposed to do? NO, but that is life. The one thing I will always do is take care of business. If that means I have to sacrifice a couple of years and work my ass off for someone else, that is what I am going to do. That also means that if I am not MARRIED, I am not having any children. (Oh, be mad bitches—I don’t care.)That means that I don’t commit felonies; I don’t kill people over turf, I don’t sell drugs and I DO NOT pass on bad behaviors to the children around me. What the fuck happened to being a positive example? Y’all make me sick. The ones doing the bad shit and the people that let them get away with it—all y’all.
When will we learn that until WE expect more out of ourselves, no one else is going to expect more from us/help us/love us?? When will we learn that WE have to hold one another accountable?? Guess what? When we don’t hold each other accountable, we become the JOKES that everyone thinks we are. We become the stereotype. We become the 21st century jig-a-boos. Shame. A fucking shame.

Obama, Race and the fight of his Presidency

IF you follow me on Twitter (jovonnam) or Facebook, you would know that I have been a little more than disappointed with the topic of race relations this week. The whole Shirley Sherrod situation grated my nerves like you would not believe and I said as much in my updates. While sending out resumes, I saw her on the Today show where she said that while she was not expecting an apology from the President, she would like to talk to him about her situation. There is so much wrong with that statement. So, I was all in attack mode about her and then I read this article, which made my panties get all bunched up even more.

This article criticizes the President for being silent on race for the vast majority of his reign in office. Um, why are we talking about that like it is a bad thing? The author says that the President has has nothing to say regarding the deaths of Oscar Grant, Sean Bell or Aiyanna Jones. So. Neither do I. I am not saying that I don't give a shit about these deaths- all were at the hands of the police (Grant in California, Bell in New York and Jones in Detroit)- but what exactly does it have to do with the office of the President? Why does Shirley think that she should get to talk to Barack?

In my honest opinion (which is what you get when you read this blog) people are pissed off because they voted for Barack for the wrong reasons. If you voted for Barack simply because he is Black- shame on you. If you voted for him because you thought that he was going to cure all social ills that have plagued minorities- again, shame on you. If you think that race relations are going to magically be fixed because America has a Black President, or that said President HAS to respond every time there is a Black person shot at the hands of a non-Black person- you are naive and shame on you. Why do people think that Barack owes you a speech on race every time an Oscar Grant situation comes up? Every time a Sean Bell situation surfaces? Every time someone like Shirley loses her job? Did Barack shoot Sean Bell? Did he fire Shirley? Um, no. So why does he have to talk to their families? Why does Shirley think she is good enough to have a conversation with the President?

The author says that the Sherrod situation was "one of those folded arms, pursed lips, neck-twisted, 'so-what-you-gonna-do-now-Barack?' moments for Black America." Let's all be clear: I do not like that description. I find it very stereotypical (I mean can't you just see some overweight Black woman with ridiculously long fake nails mouthing those words?) Not only do I find the description off putting, it is also not a true statement for me. I don't care that Shirley lost her job. Is it unfortunate? Sure. But is it clear that everything you say (or type) now a days can and will be used against you? Absolutely. PLUS, that woman was offered another job... and she said that she doubted she was going to take it. If someone wronged you and offered to make it right and you are too proud to take it... shut the hell up with your complaining. Especially during this time when people are fighting for jobs.

Are race relations important? Yes. Are they relevant in these days? Sure. Should our President be commenting on every instance of inequality? That is totally a no brainer... NO. That is not his job. Would you expect George W. to comment every time a Yale graduate got into some trouble? Every time an oil tycoon was taxed extra money? Any time a Texan was shot and killed? You think that Bill Clinton should respond every time an Arkansas resident is unjustly arrested or fired from a job without cause? No. That is never gonna happen. As the President, your job is to work towards the betterment of the COUNTRY, not groups within the country. If Bush and Clinton had done any of the above, they would have been instantly lambasted, but at the slightest nod in the direction of a racial situation people expect that Barack is gonna drop everything and be at the head of the equality march. Listen, unemployment is well above 9%; we aren't really bouncing back from this last recession; our country is involved in two wars; the Gulf Coast has yet to recover from Hurricane Katrina (5 years ago) let alone this BP fiasco; violence is taking over our major cities (Chicago included); states are going bankrupt (Illinois included); foreclosures are engulfing neighborhoods like wildfire; and in the richest country in the world some children are going to bed hungry every night.. the list goes on and I point these items out because it is clear to me that the President, no matter what ethnicity he is, has more to worry about that what Shirley Sherrod is going to do with the rest of her life.

You want racial equality? Try this out: the outrage should be coming from our neighborhoods, our churches, our city officials, our police. Shocking, I know. Local movements should be taking place. You want violence to stop? Start reporting violence when it happens. You want better neighborhoods? Get involved. I complain... you know why? Because I am involved. I call the police. They know who I am. The kids know that I will call on them in a split second. Go to city council meetings; get involved in city politics; PTA... anyone? America was built on the actions of a few that changed the tide of a whole nation, not on the apologies of a President. If you are putting all your race relations hopes in the 'Barack will fix it basket' you deserve to be disappointed.

Little Todd and his endorsement

Five days ago 90 ministers came together and decided to endorse Todd Stroger in his run for re-election as Cook County Board President. I have several problems with the endorement. My issues with last Tuesday's "show" are plentiful, but the top three are: 1. Todd Stroger is a troll and not good for Cook County, 2. We have so many other problems in this city and these ministers should be worried about and 3. It is not the job of ministers to tell their "flock" who to vote for.

So, any readers who know me, know that I grew up as the child of a Deacon. I was very involved in church activities and adding to my well roundedness as an individual, I know my way around the Bible...some sections very well, if I do say so myself. Rest assured, no where in the Bible that I have read tells me that ministers should tell their parishioners who they should vote for. Let me just interject- the reason that these "ministers" gave was so lame. The quote in the paper was as follows "this community needs a united front to address the issues that are pressing against our people..." Really?? Hmmmm, let me think about that.

A united front? There are two very huge problems with that- anytime you propose that a whole community exclude people who are different, it is racist (even if the excluding group is a minority) and that is exactly what they are doing in regards to one of the people running for Stroger's job AND let us not forget that there are tons of other things that the Black community should agree on and present a united front about. How about instead of endorsing the troll, the Black community present a united front against teen pregnancy, the high percentage of our children in jail, the rising number of high school dropouts, the blatent violence in our community, the low number of MARRIED couples, the high number of obese children in our community, the high number of children being raised by a single parent, grandparent or guardian, etc. God knows that in a city like Chicago these "ministers" have so much more to work on than re-electing Stroger. Aren't they supposed to follow the Bible? Where in the Bible does it say advocate for a lame duck politician? No where I have read. In fact, what I read TODAY said "now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." (Ecclesiastes 12:13) More to the point, James 1:27 says "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Keep from being polluted by the world? Somehow, I don't think that trying to rescue the troll from his 10% approval rating is keeping the pollution of the world away from you.

Todd is a sinking ship, that should just get ready for his loss. He is NOT good for cook County and his track record shows this. To go along with his 10% approval rating, which HAS to consist of his family, Todd has assisted Cook County in becoming the highest taxed county in the country. Last year he started the penny on the dollar tax increase, which he has SAID saved the public health care system and prevented budget shortfalls. Really? Cook County is struggling like every other county in America. Although Todd the troll says that "people don't realize how well the county is being run" let me step out on a branch and disagree. Let's think about the facts that we do have about Todd the troll: he is assisting in the taxing of Chicago citizens- to the point of exhaustion; he hired his cousin Donna Dunnings to be the CFO of the county- she then hired her "boy toy" a former bus boy with no college degree and no experience to a post making $61,000/ year. During this time Dunnings herself was making $160,000- during a recession when the citizens of the city of Chicago are struggling to make ends meet. She used some of that salary to bail her "boy toy" out of jail- twice. What winners Todd picks and pays. His track record made the Democrats pass on endorsing him... and he is a Democrat. Bottom line: the only good thing he has done for Cook County... Hmmmm, there is not one.

And this is who the "ministers" want us to re elect? They put their seal of approval on Todd the troll? Wow. In the words of one of my friends "the ministers of Chicago need to get back to soul saving, and stop worrying about Todd Stroger"... Maybe they are endorsing him because he promised them all county jobs! ;)