Coddled Children, Horrific Adults

You know, things have changed in my life. Dramatic changes. Three months ago I was a housewife, now I am a stay at home mom of one tremendously adorable, chunky baby girl. I still run a household, but the mother part... the mother part changes everything. As a parent; a new parent, I hold the best wishes and thoughts for my daughter. She is not yet two months old and I already tell her that she can do and be anything. And I believe that for her. Hell, I believe that for me. I will raise her with all the insights that I have picked up, all the grace I was raised with, the sassiness, elegance, etiquette and chutzpah I can muster. I will do all that I can to provide her with a proper example of how a LADY is supposed to act. That being said, you never know how that will turn out. I mean, parents don't have a manual. Shit, I wish we did. There is no way to guarantee that your child will be a responsible, caring, empathetic adult. There is, however, a very easy way to make sure your kid will be a terrible adult... coddling them even when they display despicable behavior. 

By now we have all heard of Brock Turner, the former Stanford swimmer that was convicted of raping an unconscious woman. This "man" will serve six months in JAIL, not prison, three years probation and will have to register as a sex offender. For RAPING an UNCONSCIOUS woman behind a dumpster. So a judge totally kissed Brock's ass with that sentence... possibly because he also went to Stanford. Maybe it was because he wanted the victim to feel some sort of shame. Most likely the judge gave him that sentence because he doesn't have a daughter and/or he is a douche. Just when you thought that the shit pile was as tall as it was going to get, along comes a letter written by Brock's dad, Dan. Dan says that Brock's "every waking moment is filled with worry, anxiety, fear and depression." As they should be, Dan because your kid violated someone who could not say no or fight back. Dan goes on to refer to the rape as "20 minutes of action" and says that "incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock." He knows this because he is his father. Sir, have a stadium full of seats and shut the fuck up. Immediately. 

Also, much has been made about the amount of alcohol that was consumed by the involved parties. Sincerely, I don't care if a woman or man drinks from sun up to sun down. The act of taking advantage of an intoxicated person is criminal. I don't care if a man is drunk and walking down the street naked, if I proceed to have sex with that man I am a rapist. He cannot consent. If there is any situation which precludes someone from saying (and meaning) "Hot, Black and Bitter I am an adult and I want you to do naughty things to me" then I am guilty of a crime. Point blank, period. And, truthfully, my parents would never let me do something as heinous as rape someone and then give me excuse after excuse after excuse so that I could get out of it. They taught me right from wrong, so, if ever I decided to do the wrong thing, my dad would let my ass sit in jail... and I would deserve it. 

Maybe if Dan was more of a hands on father his son would not think it was ok to rape an unconscious woman. Perhaps if Brock had some "appropriate punishment" at some point in life then he would not be in the situation he is in now. Listen, I said it above, I am going to break my back to make sure that my child has everything she needs to be a productive member of society. That said, I will NOT play the ultra devoted parent when my kid admits that she has done something wrong. I am not going to coddle her when she does something wrong because the world will not coddle your children. Well, if your kid is not a white male or a professional athlete the world will not coddle them. My child is neither, but even if she were... I would need her to know that while I love her, I will not cosign horrific behavior. Now Dan wants his son to be able to "give back to society in a net positive way." How about you raise a kid that is not a rapist? Maybe that is how Dan should have given back to society? Whatever happened to parents being parents? Disciplinarians? Moral compasses? C'mon, y'all- make sure your kids are people that we all want to share space with. Make sure that your kids know that bad behavior equals consequences. 

Why We Fight - Racial Ignorance

I read THIS article from another blog that I follow... and immediately caught an attitude. Let me just say this: I am a proud member of a mixed race family. I have white brothers and a sister who have been adopted into a (now) very large Black family, with Black parents and Black siblings. It was not a social experiment. We didn't adopt them to see how things would turn out and we didn't flee from adopting Black babies in favor of adopting these three white children.

This simple ass article, well, really not even an article, did not even reflect the real story in the New York Times, which can be found here. They took the most simplistic, close minded view of the situation that there was: why is a Black family adopting a white baby? They said that Mr. and Mrs. Ware "sought" to adopt a white baby... and that is not true. They sought to adopt as quickly as possible (after suffering three miscarriages) and the baby that was offered for adoption happened to be white. If the "author" of this article read the NYT piece, he or she would know that. If the "author" was not trying so hard to ignite some racist fueled anger and just used, you know, facts, then I would not have to spend the time correcting ignorance. That aside, I have some questions of my own: did they ask the same when Sandra Bullock adopted her Black son? What about when Katherine Heigl and her husband adopted a Korean baby, or when the adopters wet dream, Angelina, went all over the world adopting her clan? Was it a social experiment then? Or is it just a social experiment when a Black family adopts a child that doesn't look like them?

With all the children waiting to be adopted in the United States, does it matter who goes where? Do we all have to match everyone in our families? If I was waiting for a family, should I only get to go with a family who looks like me? After checking out the rest of their site, I do see why the Council of Conservative Citizens want everyone to stick with their own. These are the same crop of people that are undoubtedly building bomb shelters and waiting for the race wars to start. SMH. Yet another group of people with tired images/thoughts of minorities ruining a country built on the backs of those very same minorities. To the members and donors of CoCC, please do not procreate. I do not have the time and inclination to fight all of your nonsensical ideas with my brilliance (and modesty). We have enough ridiculously dumb people roaming the Earth, we do not need your contribution.

Def Poetry - Julian Curry... Miss Mox's reflection on the "n" word...

Anyone who knows me, or has spoken to me knows that I DETEST the "n" word. I don't repeat it in song, in conversation or in jest. I think that you can NEVER expect this hurtful word to go away if you use it on a regular basis. Men and women (not just blacks, either) fought and died so that we did NOT have to face the "n" word- at least not overtly; we can get an education; have an unlimited journey that is no longer stifled by the fact that our skin tones are a bit darker. Yet, here we are in 2008, using a word that evokes such hate.
To my surprise, there are "poets" out there who have embraced the word, while they claim to fight towards an ever elusive equality. How will the equality ever become a reality when you spend time calling your friends a word that has brought so much damage to the psyche of the people that you are claiming to love?
These "poets" are so quick to condemn interracial love, higher education, and those they believe have betrayed the "black experience", those who have risen above a line that they have drawn in the sand, but rush to identify their beloved people as the "n" word. They can say it because they are black, right? But then there is an attitude that cannot be matched if a White person says it, an Asian, anyone other than the "chosen few".. the Blacks that "keep it real."
What exactly are you teaching the children coming after you? The double standard that you protest, the one that "keeps a Black man (or woman) down", that horrible double standard that has been enacted to keep you away from the American Dream... THAT double standard is ok, when you (and only you and people who look like you) say this word? Alright Johnny, if mommy says this word it is ok, but if the white guy down the street says it, be upset- he is trying to belittle you. Yep Johnny, it is ok to listen to music where the "n" word is prevalent... Don't worry about it Johnny, it is a term of endearment for Black people... NO, IT IS NOT!
Never is it ok for anyone, OF ANY RACE, to use the "n" word. It should be erased from the language. I don't want White people to use the word- as much as I don't want to walk down the streets of southside Chicago and hear the word being used by adolescent Black kids, thinking that they are cool. "n" is not cool- it is the biggest fairy tale ever sold. There is no embracing this word, or the way of life that goes with it. Comments?
- Jumping off the soap box... J