College Football and Hurt Feelings

So- as I watched my Ohio State Buckeyes beat michigan (again)this past weekend, I watched my husband (Jim Tressel) as he paced the sideline, calling plays and encouraging the guys. I guess I should be clear, Jim Tressel and I are only married in my dreams, and he is one of many husbands. The hubbies span different industries, age ranges and levels of attractiveness. Once a hubby is added to the list, they aren't taken off...and the list is full of people who probably should not be grouped together. For example, four men on my hubby list: Eddie Vedder (of course), Sean Penn (think Mystic River), Brady Quinn (hot Columbus boy) and Sean Connery. Now really, do those 4 names even go together... Ah, but I digress.

As I am watching Jimmy T (see, I have even given them cool nicknames) encouraging the best college football team in America (!) I also start reading a digital article about the Kansas head football coach, Mark Mangino. Mr. (using that term loosely) Mangino is accused of being extremely rude to the young men that play for him. And not rude, like cussing at them, or calling them douchebags. We are talking rude like, "if you don't do what I say, I will send your ass back to the ghetto." He is actually quoted as saying that if a player did not do what he said he would "send him back to his hood to get shot like his homies." WHAT???

Ok- I want to say that Mangino is upset with the world because he is fat and unattractive. But I don't think that is it, at least not all of it. I mean, you have to be a real asshole to say crap like that. I just think he needs to be fired- immediately. I am not even going to say that he is racist. Even if that is the case, which I am sure it is, it takes a backseat to the fact that at least 60 pairs of parents send their young men to be further molded by a fat douchebag who claims that he has the power to send these boys back to the ghetto to be shot like their homies. Awful.
There is a difference between tough love and just being a dick. It is obvious that Mangino is not familiar with that line. I, like most people, struggle with that myself sometimes. I yell at the neighborhood kids, but I never call them hoodrats or tell them they will get shot like their homies. That is more of a reality here than in Kansas, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

If my son was away from home for the first time and he called me with stories like what is being reported about Mangino, I think it would be safe to say...hell hath no fury. Alumni should be up in arms, parents should be inconsolable AND threatening to remove their kids from the University. Maybe if they threatened the pocketbook of the university, something would be done. Maybe the AD wouldn't drag his feet if that was his son being verbally abused? Maybe, just maybe those football players will jump Mangino's big ass in the locker room after the final game of the season- a little payback? Maybe someone should threaten to starve Mangino for a couple meals?? Just another reminder to build up the youth of American with discipline...not rude, insulting behavior. I mean, I know that everyone can't be as outstanding as my hubby Jimmy T... But they could at least try- right? ;)

Miss Mox

The Day that the Buckeye Nation Cried

Today is a horribly sad day for the Buckeye Nation. Today, Stefanie Spielman lost her long, hard fought battle with breast cancer. A consummate optimist, she took the diagnosis (at the age of 30) with amazing grace. I remember when the Columbus news stations started covering her diagnosis- my sophomore year of college. I watched a young woman who married her college sweetheart take the breast cancer challenge and win (remission) four times. She was a mainstay in Columbus, always on the sideline watching and cheering for the amazing Buckeye team- years after her husband Chris graduated and went to the NFL. She has also been, at least for me, the face of the James Cancer Hospital at OSU.

An inspiration would be an understatement. I never saw her cry. I never saw her feel bad about her situation. She just got after it. Stefanie and Chris were heads of fundraising for cancer research in central Ohio. I don't even live there anymore, and I still know that where ever they were needed to get people to donate, they were there. I clearly remember seeing Stefanie, Chris and their (4) children on a commercial about cancer education and fundraising.

Forty-two is too young for her to be gone. She won't see her children become adults. She won't see her grandchildren. She will miss college graduations and weddings. Forty-two is too young...

While we mourn the loss of an amazingly spirited woman, we need to take some action Buckeye nation. I used to work for an organization that researches and fights cancer through many avenues. From working there I can tell you that during our lifetime, 1 in 3 of us will be diagnosed with some sort of cancer. Because of their funding and research, more of us will be successfully treated, but I am longing for a time when cancer-as it is today- does not exist. What can you do? There are plenty of ways that you can raise cancer awareness in central Ohio. Donate to the James (http://www.jamesline.com; click on the ways to give tab) or call the central Ohio office of the American Cancer Society (888.227.6446) and pledge a donation. For those of you in the Buckeye Nation in the Chicagoland area, there are plenty of ways for you to give also. There is an amazing place called the Wellness Place (http://www.wellnessplace.org) that raises money for cancer education, care and help for those in the midst of their battle. You can make a donation- or you can shop (!) and they will get a donation from the money that you spend (http://www.shopbelongings.com). Also, the suburban offices of the American Cancer Society are also available to take donations. Whatever you decide to do- TAKE ACTION. Make sure that there are fewer 42 year old moms losing their battle to the ugly disease called cancer.

My prayers go out to the Spielman family. I hope and wish the best for you through this rough times.

Miss Mox

Chicago Cop... not yet fired? Public confusion abounds...

Ok, so not public confusion... Moximillion confusion. I am watching the news right now and something just BLEW MY MIND. Anthony Abate (also known as the douchebag cop who was videotaped beating a very petite bartender after she refused to continue to serve his drunk ass) is back in the news. Nope, he has not been arrested again-yet. But, apparently, there is some question about whether or not he should be fired. WTH?? Insert my confusion. Why the hell does that jerk still HAVE a job???
Ok, let me see if I have this right. Unemployment in the city of Chicago is somewhere close to 11% depending on who you ask. Illinois has been declared to have one of the worst budgets in the nation. Taxation in Cook County is 10.25%. County workers (police included) are now REQUIRED to take unpaid days off so that our county won't go bankrupt...yet, beat-her-down douchebag has a job? Maybe I'm slow. But doesn't it seem like that is one less salary we should be paying?
I won't even discuss (at long length) the fact that he only got probation and anger management for those punches heard around the world. (Wow, really?) I won't even point out that because of his behavior, the whole city has an even more horrible reputation. And I certainly won't point out that while I trust MOST Chicago cops, being a petite lady myself, I have absolutely no inclination to serve them- even in my current state of unemployment- for fear that the next video (and more than likely there WILL be another video) will have my face on it.
When will doing the right thing just be ok? I don't care WHAT reason someone has concocted to let that jerk keep his shield, but he should be fired. He should have BEEN fired- if for no other reason because he tainted the reputation of the good cops in the city... And made Chicago look like the wild west during the gold rush...or a Friday night fight at the trailer park. Either way, he should no longer be able to "protect and serve." But maybe I am way off base.... Nah, I don't think so.

Moximillion

Chrisette Michele - Love Is You (Unplugged)

Ok- Chrisette Michele is AMAZING. If you have not listened to her before, I hope this is you introduction to the beauty and magic that her voice brings. Fantastically DIFFERENT... wow. Other favorites by her: Blame it on me, Epiphany, Best of me, and If I have my way. Let me know who you think she is comparable to... :)

Key Lyrics:
'cause love is my permission to be who I am,
No inhibitions because you understand;
Freedom to breathe, oh baby, love is you.

Much as I've tried to clarify
Love's quite simple, He is just my guy;
A perfect definition- LOVE IS YOU.

Illinois and the Big, Bad Budget Crisis

The Pew Center has declared that the state of Illinois is spiraling out of control with its spending and is headed down the same road as California. Illinois, along with nine other states (Arizona, Michigan, California, Nevada, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Oregon, New Jersey and Florida) are facing horrible budget crises and have been declared to be in "fiscal peril". I don't doubt the findings. The state of Wisconsin are disputing the findings, but as far s Illinois goes, I can see how we fall short every year. My only question is: HOW???? How can a state like Illinois, or better yet California or Florida, be facing billion and billions of dollars in the deficit column? The deficits cannot be blamed on a certain party per se, lawmakers are members of both major parties. The states rely on very different products for income, so what is the deal?? How do you have a tourist attraction, like both Disney states (CA and FL), that is not making money? I am so confused.

I guess that I can see that Michigan would be having some financial issues. I used to live there, the fiscal problems are not new. Now the biggest employers are having their own fiscal problems, so of course the people of the state are being affected. But the dairy state? Really? Jersey? Don't they have Atlantic City? And then there is Illinois. Ok, I already know why Chicago is having fiscal problems. There is SO much waste. People not working and getting paid a ton of money to do nothing- examples are people that I have already talked about. As a tax payer, I really want to know how it is possible that I pay MORE taxes in Cook County than residents that live in NY and CA?? And we still have a budget deficit? Seriously- wrap your head around this... in Cook County, Todd the troll has made it so we pay a whopping 10.25% in taxes, yet we can't go a year without asking for state assistance for the CTA (that is the el train for all those who don't live in Chicago). And you know what all this excessive taxing is going to get? An empty city. Chicago could turn into Detroit. No one will be able to afford living in Chicago. All because some of the people in charge take advantage of their position. Would it ever be possible that the Cook County Board, Aldermen or (gasp) the Mayor would take a pay cut so that police can continue to patrol the streets, garbage men can keep on collecting, people in the city can actually get all the amenities OF the city? I mean we ARE paying for it, right?

Leona Lewis - Happy

Key Lyrics:

I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be...

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound...
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be... happy.

Enjoy your weekend~ Miss Mox

This short thing we call life

The secondary title of this blog is a quote from the Roman poet Horace. I don't think that people actually notice it that often. This is my blog and I hardly read it when I am posting things... or looking at my blog from someone else's computer. He is said to have coined the phrase "Nunc est bibendum" (Now we must drink)... and at this point in this blog entry, I should come clean and say that tonight, I have taken that phrase to heart! There has been some drinking, ok more than just SOME, on my part, so this entry may be a tad sappier than the reading audience is used to. You have been warned! :)

Horace, it seems, was a very insightful man. The quote "A word once uttered can never be recalled" is also attributed to him. I think that is very true, so this entry, while truthful and revealing, will be as tempered as a drunken blog can be. With that said- here we go!

I think that people can tell from the musical selections that I have posted lately (especially the Heather Headley song) that I have recently gone through some heartache. Heartbreak is never cool but it is especially hurtful if it is handled badly. While engaged in a recent discussion, I said, by the age of 30 everyone has a love sob story. We have all been hurt. If the relationship ended up the way we wanted we would all be married and tripping the life fantastic, right? I firmly believe that life is not about the situations that are handed to us, rather how we handle them; what you learn from them. I just got my heart broken- I am talking million pieces broken. Spent a couple days in bed, crying, listening to super slow jams (think Toni Braxton, Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross), watching chick flicks and probably consuming too many calories, cursing him and wondering why things had to end the way the way they did. How could he blame me for hurt suffered in the past? Why couldn't he see that I was different? How the hell could he be so rude to me? It goes on and on... Finally, I had to snap out of that, so I had a couple drinks and here I am! :) I am still sad... listening to my own slow jams mix on ITunes, drinking beer and giving myself a pep talk. But you know what? Even after all of that, I would lay my heart on the line again and THAT is what separates me and him. He looks back and sees all the pain that he has had to go through in life and love and wants to avoid it at all costs; I look back and know that sometimes love sucks the blood from your body, there are times when your heart hurts so much that you think it will stop beating, that you will never be able to go through this crazy thing called love again or like you could stay in bed for the rest of your life.... eating raisinettes and drinking soda wearing some flannel pjs (oh wait, that was me!)

Love IS like that. It can be rough... and God knows, we have all been there. Like Lemon said in "Love Poem" (see September 2 entry) "I'd rather catch an ass whooping, then get my heart broken." I would venture to say that everyone over the age of 21 has experienced something that looked like what I just went through. BUT love can be so rewarding. It has the ability to make you smile when nothing else is going right. That person can walk into the room and you are left ~breathless~. Love can make you think you are living your own version of The Notebook. It can make you reconsider your living situation, having children, or any other life plans. It can make you hum Luther Vandross lyrics in the elevator ride up to the office. When you are in love, life (and everything that comes with it) can be bearable... See there is that sappy stuff! :)

So, if love can be all those terrible things, why would I put my heart on the line again? Why would I set myself up for the possibility of getting hurt again? Because life is too short to be afraid of the next step. If nothing else, this year illustrates this better than any in recent history. My best friend lost the love of her life, I lost my job, and this year marks the tenth anniversary of my grandmother's passing- last month actually, 2 days before my birthday. Life is short people!! There is no guarantee for tomorrow. Zero. For that reason, I am putting it all on the table. Emotions, scarred heart and all. I am not trying to get married tomorrow, or in six months, or anytime soon, BUT if I like someone, I am going to say it. If I love someone I am going to tell them, even if he steps on my already broken, busted heart with the 100 band aids on it.... he will just have to be the 101st band aid. I am not afraid to say I love you, if those are the feelings that I have. That person may not be around tomorrow to hear it. I wish I could tell my grandmother one more time that I love her and she gave me one of the best examples of how to live a full life. I wish every day that I had an extra weekend with her to absorb some of that wisdom, to make her laugh again, to complain to her about how the world is going awry. Even my latest heartbreak- he has the best laugh I have ever heard- it is deep and hearty... genuine. I wish I could hear it again; wish I could see those beautiful eyes once again; feel another one of those tight hugs; have him push hair out of my eyes again, wake up next to his humongous dog again, or watch him fix dinner while I sit on a bar stool at his house and we share the happenings of our respective days. See, it sucks now because the end was horrible. This feisty girl put up with a lot more than usual, but I am going to make a choice. I choose to remind myself that he is scared, and I will not do or say things to hurt him like he has been hurt before. I choose to remember that we had a blast when we were together, that despite his latest fiasco (which was PLENTY awful) he sincerely is one of the nicest men I have met in a while (even if he does nice things secretly!) and I choose to remember that there are reasons why I love him.

He can not be the reason that I am mean to another guy- the only person that is suffering in that scenario is me... well, and the other guy. Some chick took the love that he offered up and took advantage of it, thoughtlessly throwing it aside like it didn't matter. For that- I don't have a cure, as hard as I might try, and OH-- I wanted to try. I wanted to make all that hurt go away. If I could have taken some of it as my own personal burden, I would have... but I couldn't. Someone used and abused his heart. While that is unfortunate, he is choosing to let that dictate the rest of his life. He won't take a chance... he is limiting his love experience, not allowing for the possibility of all the great things that can come from a good relationship. For that, I pity him.

Does it suck... um, yeah. Do I wish that there was a way for him to see the error of his ways, yep and maybe he will. Will this latest heartbreak keep me down? Absolutely not. It will take me a while, but this (self proclaimed) cute face will smile again, I will go a couple days without wanting to call him (hopefully), and I will slap one more band aid on this broken, bleeding heart of mine, shake the dust off and get out there again. I will not hide out in my flannel pjs for another weekend... Life is short, my friends. So, in the words of Horace: Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.

Miss Mox

Heather Headley - I Wish I Wasn't

Halloween Weekend 2009

Key Lyrics:

I wish I wasn't in love with you
So you couldn't hurt me
it just ain't fair the way you treat me
No you don't
deserve me
Wasting my time thinking bout you when you ain't never gon change
I wish I wasn't in love with you so I
wouldn't feel this way

Miss Mox