Friday, January 27, 2017

Fed Up Friday - Political Apathy

I can't lie, since the election I have been very hit or miss on social media. Ok, that is not exactly true. I'm ON social media, but I don't always comment. I SEE what is going on, but I kind of just operate in silence. For example, I have seen some online acquaintances say some really stupid shit and I have quietly deleted them. Seriously, my friend list has decreased by a good 10% so far... and I am working on getting my number down even further. A few years ago, I would have unfriended people AFTER they felt my Hot, Black and Bitter wrath, but I have to confess: that is no longer my M.O. because, fuck it, I just don't care to have the needed conversation. 

As a stay at home (new) mom, I spend way too much time on social media- especially while my chubby bunny dozes 30 minutes at a time. For the last week, my timelines have been filled to the brim with coverage of politics, protests and analysis. In the last two days I have seen an uptick in the "why does everyone keep posting about politics?" posts. Uh... Listen, I get it, politics isn't everyone's game, but let me tell you something: APATHY IS WHAT GOT YOU (US) HERE.

Politics can be troubling, especially during times like these. Politics can be uncomfortable, especially during times like these. Politics WILL BE DIVISIVE-- and they should be. Do you know why folks don't discuss politics on a regular basis? Because politics show the INNER you. Not the fake you that you post about on Facebook. Not the "you" that you aspire to on Pinterest. Not that fake life you advertise on Instagram. The REAL you. Politics show what is important to you; what, ultimately, you say that you can deal with. What means can justify the end result. Who you are willing to sacrifice so that your lifestyle can continue. So two months ago, when Tangerine Dream won the electoral college, it showed where people were in life. And listen, you have to be ready to defend that. You have to ready to go toe to toe for what you believe. You don't get to vote for a mini hand, orange colored dictator and not be questioned. You don't get to put a (self admitted) serial pussy grabber in office and not have to answer for that. You don't get to vote for someone who has absolutely NO regard for the lives of minority Americans... or immigrants... or the working population... or, fuck it, the truth... Someone who seems hell bent on making enemies of every ally The United States of America has-- and then get mad when someone shines a light in your face. 

As long as you are MY acquaintance on social media, you are going to get these political memes. You will get these blog entries. If I am feeling particularly randy one day, you will see what I tweet about y'all's president. You gave us this "gift" so now you need to live in your truth and soak this shit up. If you DIDN'T vote, you are responsible. If you voted for a third party candidate, you gave us this child ruler. If you voted for Tangerine Dream, you can catch these memes for the next 4 years, every day, and your punk ass will like it. This is what y'all wanted, right? So, deal. Apathy can't live here anymore. You not giving a shit is what got us in this mess.

Thursday, January 12, 2017


I said a prayer for you last night. It was a selfish prayer. I asked God to give you more time; to not take you from me, from your wife, from your friends. I wanted some extra time to hear you laugh while telling me a story. I wanted another hug. I wanted you to see my big baby one more time. It was selfish. I wanted to make sure you got to stay here... because I don't want you leave us.

I recognize that I said the wrong prayer. I asked God to keep you here (for all of us), when I should have been asking him to spare you any more pain. I should have asked God to open up his arms and take you into Heaven on maize and blue colored clouds (just for you). I should have thanked him for all the years we have had with you so far-- those years when I saw you working with mom and dad. All those times that you told me that I could be anything I wanted-- even if I wanted to be bossy (thank you, ma'am). All the times you told your friends that they should read this blog. All the times you told me that I should quit whatever job I had and be a full time writer. I should have thanked God for our reconnection last year... and you meeting my baby (honey, WHO thought that would have ever happened!?) and my husband. I should have thanked God for allowing you to see mom and dad again; for our group prayer; for picking up RIGHT where we left off. 

My dearest Fran: you are the epitome of family. Let me tell you: blood couldn't make us any closer. You always met folks with a smile, a pat on the back, a hilarious story about some mishap. You showed me what it meant to be comfortable living your truth-- and you did just that. When necessary you never hesitated to call people by their correct name (like asshole... and I PROUDLY carry on that tradition). You are a building block in the life of this Hot, Black and Bitter woman. We go together like permed hair, acid washed jeans and the 1980s (you remember THOSE pictures?! Yikes). THANK YOU FOR LOVING US. I love you and I will forever be grateful that God put you in my life. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

New Year Resolutions

Here we are, eleven days into the new year and here I am, finally sharing my resolutions with y'all. My bad. Generally, I do try to stay on top of posts and stuff, but 1. I don't really DO resolutions and 2. I have been a little busy with this fast growing, spunky infant. So as I sit here, in the dark, trying not to type too hard (so I don't wake the aforementioned spunky infant) telling y'all what I hope will happen in 2017... ok, what I will work toward in 2017. 

I have five outstanding goals for 2017. They aren't in any particular order because by December 31, I want all of them to be done! I know that these will be challenging and I can do challenging. Challenging is not impossible-- and I am sure that I will remind myself of that every freaking day of the year... while drinking tons of coffee and daydreaming about getting a massage. So without further adieu-- here are my five "resolutions" for the next 354 days.

1. Write More. Ok, let me tell you that goal number one, two and three could be one, but I am separating them. This year I want to write more. Last week was my 11 year anniversary for this blog and last year (understandably) blogging was not necessarily a priority. I do want to make writing a priority though, because it is definitely a stress reliever for me... and I have been told that I am ok at it! I have this blog, a "mommy" blog and will be restarting a doggie blog-- and I want all three of them to thrive. I want to stick to a posting schedule (Wednesday and Friday) and get back into the groove. 

2. Carve Out A Little More Me Time. It is hard to take me time when you have a small human crawling around, but I know that I need it. These last 9 months (9 months ALREADY) have flown by... flown by with limited sleep, limited showers and a very steep learning curve. Y'all, I wouldn't change it, but BABY there are some days that I would trade one of the dogs for a 45 minute nap. I know that I can't give Baby K or Lefty 100% if I am not 100%, so I need to set aside some time to replenish myself. A woman cannot live on coffee alone... or some shit like that, right?! That includes getting back into exercise. No secret that I turn the big 4-0 this year (or maybe it WAS a secret); bottom line, your girl needs to work out a schedule that includes her as a priority.

3. Read More. For Christmas Mama and Papa Hot, Black and Bitter got me a book by my favorite author and I tried to remember the last time I finished a good book. It had been months. Months. For me months cannot go by without reading a good book ever again. Reading has always been an escape and somehow I think that is EXACTLY what I will need during the first year of this new political regime (cue the eye roll). In 2016 I did a GoodReads challenge, which I did not even come close to finishing. Last week I started a new challenge on GoodReads-- 60 books for the 2017. Years ago 60 books would have been a drop in the bucket... I hope to be able to finish and document these 60 books, whatever they may be.

4. Document Daily Life More. This is actually for Baby K. I don't really do pictures (of myself). I remember lots of funny stuff that has happened... but I want to make sure that I have life documented in some other way. Something a little more tangible... because this memory ain't what it used to be! So, I will probably be doing some instagram challenges or something like that-- something to guarantee that I will post every day. Combine that with number 1 and that is a whole lotta me in 2017. Let me add, with more documentation of daily life I will be forced to clean up my social media contacts-- friends, family and acquaintances will be re-evaluated.

5. Redo Three Rooms in the Hot, Black and Bitter Palace. This will make Lefty happy. I would like to finish (from curtain rods to flooring) three rooms in our house. I think that now is the time to redo some shit, since Baby K is making baby proofing necessary. Ok, really I am just looking for a reason to tear up and fix some shit. I spend a lot of time here-- time for me to hang a picture or two. 

So, how are y'all doing with your resolutions? Almost two weeks in... is there anything that you have already given up on?

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