Sunday, January 20, 2013

My Abhorrence For Progressive Flo

Dear Progressive Flo:

I am writing to tell you that although your commercials are generally the bane of my existence, I really HATE your new effort. To me, a person who rarely complains about things that are racially insensitive (or any kind of insensitivity, really), this commercial seems way too reminiscent of the stereotypes that ran rampant in the 1920s, 30s... 40s. It starts off with an overweight woman demanding to see Flo about something that she gave to her husband and ends with a Black man acting like a fool. Oh, sigh... Flo, Flo, my sweet, annoying, ignorant Flo- even I, with my general lack of emotions, can see the resemblance between this "customer" and a mammy; and her husband as a Sambo. Even me.

Now look, I realize that since you are generally annoying the pants off of people, 60 seconds at a time, that it may not have crossed your little mind that this commercial could, you know, be offensive, but trust me, it is. This "commercial" happens to look more like a minstrel show than an ad for insurance. Let's look at this lady in your commercial. You know, for some comparison, Flo. This overweight, wide eyed woman comes into Progressive, looking for an explanation for her husband's seemingly incomprehensible ability to handle every day situations. You, Flo, calmly explain that you gave him the answer to all of his insurance problems, but there is a warning-- the "power" that you have given him can go to one's head. Then, the Black woman strikes that ever familiar pose (shaking head, hands on hips) and you cut away to her husband thinking he can conquer juggling chainsaws. Hmmm. The name of this work of art is 'Empowered' when really, it should be named "Let's try to pass this off and see how many Black people actually know that they are being made fun of."

Your "new" shit:

Some "old" shit:

Oh Flo, I can't be the only one that has noticed that really the only thing missing from this interaction with this woman is a dance move, or a musical number while she cooks dinner. But, I am helpful so here, let me give you (and your people at Progressive) a clue: not all Black women sing and dance, shake their heads, point their fingers and put their hands firmly on ample hips. Not all Black men act a fool after a white person solves a problem for them. No one wants to buy insurance from a shrill woman, like yourself. Even though Progressive is an Ohio company I, as an Ohioan, would be more likely to eat at Chik-Fil-A than buy your product (and I plan to NEVER eat at Chik-Fil-A). For the life of me, I just can't believe that no one has said this before... Oh wait... I'm not the first person to point out your insensitivity. You might want to look into that.


 Tired of Your Shit


Sunday, January 06, 2013

The Last Time I Shouted Hallelujah...

Sunday. Sunday morning in the Midwest. I'm feeling guilty. Why, you ask? Because here in the Midwest, Sunday morning is church time. I know, I know... Chicago is part of the Midwest. But not really. Things are different there. People still go to church, but trust me when I type it, it is NOT the same as the Bible belt of Columbus, Ohio.

I really need to get back to church! I mean, the last time I shouted hallelujah was during the chorus of "It's Raining Men" while watching 'Magic Mike'. While that shout was enthusiastic, I am sure that is not what God had in mind about making a joyful noise...

Bottom line, by the time you read this, I will be on my way to find a new church. Happy Sunday.


Saturday, January 05, 2013

Soulful Saturday - Happy New Year, Go Get It!


I want to start out this new year with an inspirational Soulful Saturday. I know this is the time of resolutions, new beginnings, renewal; time for people to start over. I'll meet that time with my own bit of musical inspiration for you. I'm not big on gospel music. I mean, I have a few favorites, but generally, I leave gospel music on the shelf with country and rap. I call that shelf the 'um, no' shelf.

However, I freaking LOVE this song! Can you say that you freaking love a gospel song? Is that kosher? Eh, either way, Mary Mary lights my whole day on FIRE when I hear them sing this song. I put the lyrics below so you can read along. It is more than a few months old, but who cares? It fits with starting anew and is totally going to be one of my anthems this year. 2013 is not ready for me (or you either...) Go after what you want! Light a fire under your own ass! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?! Go Get It!!



It's like you're looking through a telescope/ you see where you gonna be
Growing, getting better/ you're not the person they see
Can't be mad at the things you been through/ cuz they built your muscle
Now you're stronger than you've ever been/ they can't stop your hustle

Your Faith ain't never small/ that's what brought you this far 
See you got your dreams and you got your prayers
and you got Your God he gone take you there
See everybody has a season and I believe this one's yours
Cuz you been workin, waitin, this what you been prayin for 

Go get it, Go Get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it Go get your blessing
Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it
It's your time, it's your time, it's your time, it's your time

You were made to live a good life and that's what I believe
So hit the floor, say a prayer start working/ you got to do something
It's alright to crawl before you walk, it's alright to walk before you run
But if you wanna get what you never got, gotta do something that you never done 

[Repeat Chorus]

You've been qualified
With his mercy, multiplied
You cannot be denied
Cuz you're finally certified
It's official
Go ahead and testify
He's gonna bless you
You gonna bless him
Now God be glorified

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

You'll Take Happy Holidays... And Like It!

Lefty and I have been traveling fools lately. We have spent the holiday season all over the Midwest (Ohio, Chicago, Green Bay). I have some fun posts about eating because we enjoyed some fabulous food in the last couple of months, but that is not what this post is about.

Picture this: Chicago, the day after Christmas. Less than a dusting of snow on the ground, but the winds were blustery. I do mean that they were bowl you over on the street strong. Wow. And guess who forgot her gloves in Columbus? Yep, they were doing me all kinds of good in Columbus. Duh. So, Lefty and I set out from our hotel to do some glove shopping on State Street. We couldn't find scarves and gloves in Macy's -- and what the fuck was that about?! We asked employees and still could NOT find them. Customer Service sucks at that store. Anyway, we made our way to TJMaxx, found some gloves and stood in a forever line to check out. When we were called to a register, we passed someone who was done and this is the conversation that took place.

Cashier: "Here is your change and receipt, thank you and Happy Holidays!"

Customer: "Um, Christmas is over."

And he walks out.

Now, I don't know if this man was brought up in a barn or not, but I was taught that when someone says something nice to you, you respond with "thank you." What the hell? I actually had to unfriend more than a few pages and people on facebook because their biggest gripe wasn't about the fiscal cliff we just averted, the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary or ending the war in Afghanistan, bringing home troops, finding a cure for cancer... Nope, their biggest complaint was that the holiday card that was sent out by the White House didn't have a Christmas tree on it. Bitch, please find your life. Let me let you all in on a little secret that I was hoping I would never have to type because people should REALLY just know: Um, the United States of America is NOT a Christian nation. Everyone who lives here does not go to a Christian church on Sundays. Christmas is NOT the only holiday celebrated during this "holiday season." You really seem like a jackass when you are unable to meet a nice gesture with a thank you.

I mean, have we devolved into this? Whatever holiday season you celebrate (or if you don't celebrate at all) would it kill you to be nice? I mean, think about that... and who it is coming from. I have perfected being mean and tactless and even I was bothered by the egotistical, Christian centered behavior that I observed last month, especially. Would it kill you to take a "Happy Holidays" without bitching about how politically correct life has become? How about a "thank you" or "same to you"?? How about thinking: "wow, that was nice for this person to take the time out of their day to say something nice to me"?? There is no rule stating that everyone has to celebrate the same. Some of us need to resolve not to be walking dicks this year... and for the first time, that I can remember... that group does not include me.

Happy (all) Holidays!

Happy New Year- make it count!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...