Wednesday Wants

I have had a stressful day. Seriously. I need to relax. How do I relax? I bake. But I am off baking right now... because I am fat. So what am I going to do now? List making. I like to look at all the crap I am not getting done on a daily basis. Hey, what can I say? I have a winning attitude today. It has just a really, really long day. So, here is a list of things that I want on this horrendous lovely Wednesday.

1. I want a job where I am super appreciated and get paid, very well. I mean doesn't everyone? Because, yeah, I got bills to pay, sucka! Plus, I have to say, I really think that I should be the boss. Like, always. And if I can't be the boss then I should be well paid. The end.

2. I want people to live forever. Ok, not assholes, but nice people? Nice people should live forever. We received word that a super nice guy (a co-worker of Lefty's) passed away today. Unexpectedly. And I hate it. Someone who worked at my job passed away last week. He always had a kind word and a smile. I'm saddened by both deaths. Death makes you re-evaluate or it SHOULD make you re-evaluate. It has been two years since we said goodbye to one of my aunts and to Lefty's brother and each time it.is.heartbreaking. This Wednesday I want nice people to live forever.

3. I want a million dollars, the best credit score a person can have and a maid. In that order. It is all necessary.

4. I want to reignite my will to work out. It leaves every other day and for real I just need that bitch to be loyal. What?!

5. I want Cat Knapp to stop staring at me. I just looked over and he is staring at me. He has no shame and no regards for my feelings.

6. I want people, in general, to be a little more concerned for one another's wellbeing. People just don't seem to give a fuck about anyone or anything, other than themselves. I am not saying that I want a utopia. I don't want to be Snow White, singing songs in the forest and having birds land on my shoulders (because ewww, birds) BUT it would be nice if people were a little less self centered/noticed and acknowledged other people's issues and problems/cared about other's suffering.

7. I want it to be November and not have the Hallmark channel playing Christmas movies. They aren't even playing Golden Girls reruns anymore. Who does that? I need to Sophia and her sassy old lady mouth. Plus, it is NOVEMBER. Christmas is over a month away. Are you kidding me?

8. I want more hours to do fun stuff, because today being a grown up sucked balls.

Here is to hoping that tomorrow is full of unicorns and glitter.

You'll Take Happy Holidays... And Like It!

Lefty and I have been traveling fools lately. We have spent the holiday season all over the Midwest (Ohio, Chicago, Green Bay). I have some fun posts about eating because we enjoyed some fabulous food in the last couple of months, but that is not what this post is about.

Picture this: Chicago, the day after Christmas. Less than a dusting of snow on the ground, but the winds were blustery. I do mean that they were bowl you over on the street strong. Wow. And guess who forgot her gloves in Columbus? Yep, they were doing me all kinds of good in Columbus. Duh. So, Lefty and I set out from our hotel to do some glove shopping on State Street. We couldn't find scarves and gloves in Macy's -- and what the fuck was that about?! We asked employees and still could NOT find them. Customer Service sucks at that store. Anyway, we made our way to TJMaxx, found some gloves and stood in a forever line to check out. When we were called to a register, we passed someone who was done and this is the conversation that took place.

Cashier: "Here is your change and receipt, thank you and Happy Holidays!"

Customer: "Um, Christmas is over."

And he walks out.

Now, I don't know if this man was brought up in a barn or not, but I was taught that when someone says something nice to you, you respond with "thank you." What the hell? I actually had to unfriend more than a few pages and people on facebook because their biggest gripe wasn't about the fiscal cliff we just averted, the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary or ending the war in Afghanistan, bringing home troops, finding a cure for cancer... Nope, their biggest complaint was that the holiday card that was sent out by the White House didn't have a Christmas tree on it. Bitch, please find your life. Let me let you all in on a little secret that I was hoping I would never have to type because people should REALLY just know: Um, the United States of America is NOT a Christian nation. Everyone who lives here does not go to a Christian church on Sundays. Christmas is NOT the only holiday celebrated during this "holiday season." You really seem like a jackass when you are unable to meet a nice gesture with a thank you.

I mean, have we devolved into this? Whatever holiday season you celebrate (or if you don't celebrate at all) would it kill you to be nice? I mean, think about that... and who it is coming from. I have perfected being mean and tactless and even I was bothered by the egotistical, Christian centered behavior that I observed last month, especially. Would it kill you to take a "Happy Holidays" without bitching about how politically correct life has become? How about a "thank you" or "same to you"?? How about thinking: "wow, that was nice for this person to take the time out of their day to say something nice to me"?? There is no rule stating that everyone has to celebrate the same. Some of us need to resolve not to be walking dicks this year... and for the first time, that I can remember... that group does not include me.

Happy (all) Holidays!

Happy New Year- make it count!

 

Wordless Wednesday- Christmas in Ohio