Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'm watching you! :)

Since winter seems like a lifetime here in Chicago, summertime is the season for lots of outdoor activities. Hot weather equals less clothing (not always a good thing), more people outside, and definitely more bad behavior. It is like the hot, humid weather suppresses some people's (limited) good sense. Here's the problem: I see you! Quite often, I comment on your behavior. I think I am funny, some may disagree, but some of my facebook status updates are so good that I condense them and put them on Twitter. I just can't help myself. It is free ammunition; free entertainment- and I must admit... I love it. Below are some of the top status updates for the last few weeks. Watch out Chicagoans, I see you! ;)

"Dear girls in the Target parking lot: despite your current argument, it is safe to say that Usher is not talking about you when he sings 'There goes my baby.' Now let's use our inside voices, aka our let's not embarrass ourselves voices."

"Almost nothing trashier than seeing a parent smoking with kids in the car with the windows rolled up. SMH."

"Note: STOP IT with the mohawks. That shit ain't cute and most of y'all can't pull it off. For real."

"The only dog that wants to kiss me is the one that ate a mystery substance in the backyard. Um, I *don't* think so, my friend."

"Hey lady crossing the street: like my dad says- your ass is not a bumper. You wanna make it a little quicker across the street? See, this is when love taps should be allowed. :/"

Finally, from today: "Hey lady in front of me: that big ass sign that says 'no turn on red' is not a suggestion. I am sure that good officer that just pulled you over is reiterating that fact. #dumbdriver"

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Irony is NOT lost on me

I now know why people my age need therapy. Here is my story:

I have super silent for a few weeks. Not by choice. It has been almost three weeks since my last entry, for a very good reason. On August 2, my house was burglarize and my most prized possession (not counting the dogs) was taken- my iMac. Originally, I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to punch someone. Yeah- I still want to punch someone... hard.

Two things were stolen from my house (iMac and second cell phone) and my dogs were safe (this time)... and the house was ransacked again. Windows and screens were broken and the neurotic dogs were pushed to the limit of crazy town (again). Sincerely, I have been pushed to my limits too. I look outside and often shake my head in shame that my neighborhood has declined so drastically in the four years that I have owned my house. I look around and see children who are going no where because parents don't care enough to push them in the right direction; a city- a beautiful city- falling prey to hoodlums and hoes, criminals and dummies, corrupt dealings and economically depressed citizens. I see hopelessness. But there is no time for me to have tear stained cheeks because I am moving. Those bastards have broken into my house and stolen my piece of mind for the last time. I am done. I still want to stay in Chicago (don't you judge me!!) I just don't ever want to live in my neighborhood again- and barring some sort of divine intervention- I will not. House is on the market (yep, even in this shitty economy) and come October 1st I will, at the very least, be a resident of another neighborhood.

You know, the worst part isn't that someone was in my house, or that those jackasses felt the need to take something that didn't belong to them. It wasn't even that I am unemployed and really don't have the luxury of being without a computer; nor do I have the time (or inclination) to schlep to the library or to offices of friends in order to send out resumes. You want to know what the worst part is? When someone was breaking into my house, touching my shit, stealing my computer and ransacking MY house... I was at the courthouse on 26th and California- Criminal Courts for all you non-Chicagoans- serving JURY DUTY. Yeah- the irony is NOT lost on me.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

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