Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Attitude of Gratitude

I have a friend who always reminds me that when I am having a bad day, I should start/revise/go over a gratitude list. The things that I most cherish from every day life. I am feverishly typing this in these early morning hours because while nothing has irritated me YET... something (someone) will later one... and I feel as though I need to be prepared. I'll schedule this for later today... when my phone tells me that it has been published, I will be able to take a few seconds and regroup versus the alternate tirade that I have been mentally preparing.

There is no horror story, per se. I just work with someone who is not as urgent as I would like; not as organized as I would like... and WAY more condescending than I would like (out of the three, clearly the last one is the problem, as it is the way to get punched in the nuts the fastest- please take note). Don't get me wrong, I love having a baby face, but just because I look young does not mean that 1. I am your secretary, 2. I need you to explain things to me like I am dumb or 3. I will put up with this bullshit for very long without reading you the freaking riot act, so that you never forget... See, I am already all up in arms. So- on to my list. I'll do the top 5 because I am just going to need a small reminder of what I am grateful for to put a smile on my face (I hope).

Hot, Black and Bitter is grateful for:

1. My family- I write of them often, but surely not often enough. They are NUTS... like, seriously, there are days when I think we should ALL be committed- from the oldest to the youngest. BUT, I wouldn't trade their nutty asses for anything. Well, mostly anything- catch me on the right day and I might trade off a couple of the little ones for coffee. ;)

2. My friends (extended family)- the only people who know exactly who I am and love me despite it all, when they don't have to. Small number of people in this group, and trust me, they all worked for the title!

3. Doggie kisses on tear stained cheeks. Makes everything ok. I have become a firm believer that having a pet extends your life. Depressed? Get a dog or a cat- works wonders.

4. Job- oh, I'll complain about my co-worker, rightfully so, but I am extremely grateful for a job! Having been unemployed through the vast majority of this economic depression, I am happy to have somewhere to go every day; happy to be able to have a job I do well... and happy/grateful for a paycheck. I just wish there was a little more pride in work/work ethic from others.

5. A horrific day at the office that ends with someone delivering you cupcakes... this is how I made it through Friday. Need some? I know a guy! :)

May this small bit of insight be enough to lead me through the day...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Soulful Saturday- Hi- Five

This group brings back so many memories. Sadly, lead singer Tony Thompson died in 2007, but these 5 boys from Waco surely rocked my radio in my formative years! :)

I Like The Way (Kissing Game)

Never Should Have Let You Go

Quality Time

I Can't Wait Another Minute

Unconditional Love

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Six Words

It is. Getting WARMER. in Chicago! ;)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Rape and Playing the Blame Game

WARNING: this entry WILL (should) make you uncomfortable... and for that reason, certain people should refrain from reading it... like, my mother, the church lady, and those who are easily offended by cursing and me calling people foul names. You have been warned!!
I blame this post on Twitter! I have been working two jobs for the past couple of weeks, so my posting has been lax, and so has my news reading. I have preferred sleep- a LOT, but I do keep up with my Twitter feed. Today, while treating myself to breakfast, I came across a patch of posts that referenced a rape in Cleveland,Texas. You can read about it here and here. For those of you who don't like to click on links... In November of last year, in the town of Cleveland an 11 year old girl was gang raped by 20 men. Read that last sentence over again. And NOW, the morons at a certain New York newspaper (NYTimes- shame on your petty asses) and the amazingly giving people of Cleveland, are starting to blame the 11 year old for what happened. If you are offended by profanity- look away now.

What the FUCK is wrong with people? I mean seriously, is our society that ridiculously off track that a gang rape can happen to an 11 year old girl and we place blame on her? Really?! Really? Well, that is fucking stupid and I am going to tell you exactly who are the dumbest of the dumb in this situation. Fucking pieces of shit.

*Anyone in the town of Cleveland (the police, the prosecution, parents, nosy ass neighbors and bystanders) that actually believes that an 11 year old brought GANG rape on herself: You are fucking low cretins. You stupid backwoods bastards. I don't give a shit if that little girl is waving her hairless vagina in the face of every man she comes across- SHE IS A FUCKING CHILD. A child. And now, no matter what happened, what she said yes to, where the line was drawn... no matter what, that child is RUINED. Her childhood is OVER. Her life will NEVER be the same. And you stupid fucks push blame onto her?! She is NOT grown. She can NOT consent to anything. Hell, when I was 11, my parents still had say over what I wore out of the house. I couldn't make or grasp heavy decisions-- and she can't either. You fucking compassion less pricks. What if she was your child? Look around- some of us have 11 year daughters and sons. What if your kid- son or daughter- was gang raped by 20 individuals? Who would you blame? How would you feel if your kid was seen as "asking for it"? I don't give a good damn if she wore bra and panties and nothing else to school every day- she is the 6th grade. AND if she was attempting to act out sexually, that is a cry for help, not an act of begging crazy pedophiles to take advantage of her.

*Parents of Cleveland, Texas: I don't understand this. You live in a town of 9,000 people. How do you NOT know what your kid is doing? Small inkling? I grew up in Columbus, Ohio- way bigger than 9,000 people- and my parents ALWAYS knew what I was doing. You know why? Because people TOLD on my dumb ass. That's why. If they saw me doing something I wasn't supposed to, my neighbors called my parents... at work!!! Are you fucking kidding me that NO one knew that this baby was being dicked down by 20 men? (I keep saying men because these MEN were in high school and in their 20s. The oldest is 27... 27! (I fucking date 27 year olds.) There were a few middle schoolers but if you look at the mugshots- those are MEN that raped her). I fucking hate the kids in my neighborhood, but I know what the hell they are doing-- I watch their asses. I call the cops. Not one parent thought to call the police? Not one parent thought to call the parents of this BABY? What kind of fucking person are you?

*Activist that are screaming racism: Oh, Jesus, keep me near the cross. You are mad because all the MEN who gang raped this Latina girl are Black? You see that as some injustice? How about-- um, teach your fucking kids that raping women is wrong?! They tape recorded themselves DOING IT- that is how they fucking got caught. They provided the evidence that is going to put all their asses in jail. If all of them participated, does it bother me that all of those MEN are Black? Am I going to protest and say that they are being charged because they are Black? Um, hell NO. Keep your fucking dick out of little kids, you bastards. I would think the same if they were white, Asian, green, polka dotted, whatever. At what point do you STOP giving the excuse that bad behavior can be covered up by waving the race flag? Now, IF there were white assailants that had not been prosecuted, I would scream injustice, because I want every dick that hurt that child to pay for it. EVERYone. And if everyone of them happens to be Black, so be it. Fuck you bastards for being pedophiles, taking advantage of a disturbed baby, and feeding into the stereotype that Black men cannot control their sexual urges. You're all fucking disgraces and I hope you pay the highest cost the state of Texas can come up with. A towns person actually said "these boys have to live with this for the rest of their lives." Yeah, you stupid cunt, guess who else does? That BABY that they RAPED. And for all of you who are claiming that "she didn't look 11" you can kiss my ass-- the pink part, because that is some bullshit. In a town of 9,000 people, you know who is at the age of majority and who is not. Fucking slimy cocksuckers.

The Victim's Parents: WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!?!?!?! You have a whole town, clowning your kid, saying that she dressed inappropriately and wore lots of makeup, didn't look her age... and had all this time on her hands? Where the fuck were you? If she acted like that in public, she probably acted out at home. You didn't have a say? You didn't see ANY warning signs? You were absolutely shocked when there were viral videos of your 11 year old daughter being molested and gang raped by 20 MEN?!?! Are you fucking blind?! I swear, people should need licenses in order to raise children.

The "Men": You fucking dirty,disgusting, lowdown mofos (the one curse word I DON'T say)... I have nothing but contempt for you. You ruined a community, your own fucking pointless lives and a little girl. It is because of men like you that I believe in the death penalty. It is because of men like you that your white backwoods counterparts still believe that Black people are the "n" word. It is because of men like you that I struggle every day to prove that I am NOT a stereotype. If I used the "n" word... that is what I would call you because you are blights on my race, a thorn in the side of anyone fighting the good fight for our people and a shit stain on society as a whole. I hope you all fucking rot in hell.

Lesson: hug and kiss your babies... because the world that surrounds them is like the Devil... walking to and fro, seeking who it can devour. SMH.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Soulful Saturday- Whitney

There are only a few superstars that can go by ONE name. Prince, Cher, Aretha and Whitney are the first four that come to my mind. Whitney is a super hot mess right now, with people walking out of her concerts, alleged drug abuse, her crazy ass ex-husband, family fights, etc. But above and beyond ALL that, Whitney can SING. Say whatyou want about her personal craziness, but that chick has a voice that does.not.stop. If she wants to be crazy on her own time, I'll just have to pop in a tape of her early stuff and sing and dance around. I've been doing that while pulling up these videos! LOL Whatever!! :) Get ready for the 80s hair! Woo hoo, Whitney! Get it girl!

Didn't We Almost Have It All?

All The Man I Need

I Will Always Love You

Saving All My Love For You

Heartbreak Hotel

Monday, March 07, 2011

Oh, the Persecution

To say that I am COMPLETELY offended by the above billboard is an understatement. Yes, you read that right- that picture is a billboard. It has been taken down, but just the idea that someone thought that this was ok, says volumes. This monstrosity was unveiled on February 23 (during Black History Month), in part, by a Dallas "pastor" who says that he believes that Black women feel like they have no option other than abortion. Hmmm.
Let me start by saying I am not a pro-life; I am safely within the realms of pro-choice. By no means does that mean I think abortion should be used for birth control, but I do think that women should be able to choose what is good for them at the time. I have seen what people do to unwanted children, or children they simply can't care for, and it is shameful. If a woman or a young lady at the age of majority chooses to terminate her pregnancy, I have no opinion on that. I have my own personal opinion of what I would do, but I don't think that what is right for me should be forced onto other women in other situations, with other goals. Luckily, I have never had to make a decision in regards to ending a pregnancy, but if I did, I would never be so shortsighted to think that everyone should do whatever I do. Everyone is not hot, black and bitter, right?! Right.
With that said: in regards to this billboard-- are you fucking kidding me? Some people in America want to argue that the "face of Welfare" is a Black one... with several children- by several different men- that cannot be cared for. These are the children that grow up to be problems in our neighborhoods, overpopulate our jails and perpetuate this ghetto mentality. And THAT is wrong. A woman chooses to exercise her (very) legal right to terminate a pregnancy and THAT is wrong. So, what exactly is a Black woman to do? If you are a reader of this blog, you know that we aren't racing to the chapel to get married, so are we supposed to have no children? Why are their not billboards for every racial group? If these people see abortion as a type of genocide of racial groups, Blacks can't be the only group that should be getting attention. As for "pastor" so and so... He can eat me. He ought to be ashamed, as a Black man, to be the face of such a hate filled representation of one half of his race. You want to stand up against abortion- fine. It is legal, but so is freedom of speech... but to start an onslaught against Black women- he gets the side eye.
Could it be that groups are coming together to beat up on Black women? In situations like this, I will wave the race card. Are you telling me that NO other group has abortions? Impossible. Discourse on the topic, I can roll with, but subjecting ONE race to negative press... and then proposing to move said negative press all around the country? I call bullshit.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Who Wears the Pants?

Everyday I scroll through at least one twitter timeline... I have personal ones and business ones, and a couple that I handle for other people. People really open up on Twitter. It wouldn't be your first thought but there is a stream of consciousness that flows through those 140 character messages. More and more, I see messages about what someone wants in a mate. There are people who just want a whore-- honestly. They don't type about forever, they type about right now and nothing else. You have some who type about romanticized love, like the kinds you see in movies; self deprecating humor about love lost, long loves, marriages and changes in love. In 15 minutes you could see the entire gamut of a relationship through the eyes of about 100 different people.
It is kind of endearing. You can go through a break up and be encouraged, or air your dirty laundry and be slapped down by the twitterverse. With the good comes the bad-- and today, I saw the bad. So there is this guy who is posting all this stuff he wants in a female companion. Some of it is tongue in cheek- clearly. But some of it is downright ridiculous. I understand that a lot is at stake in choose a mate. Some people (me included) only want to take the plunge once so, I get it that you are taking your time and being very specific... HOWEVER, you will not send me a direct message saying that if we got together YOU would be head of the household and I would have to learn how to follow... WOW!? Dude, what?! You know, like I know, that you will get a mouthful.
You are trying to spit your little game to all the girls on Twitter. God fearing, Bible thumper... and some of them *might* fall for that. But as for me- not so much. Man- listen here: I follow NO man, except my daddy... because he ALWAYS comes through. When I need it, that man will break his back to get it-- and he is not doing it for some dishonest motive. I am not following you for one specific reason-- I don't know where you are going. So, if your game is to get all the little girls to think that they are following the Bible to follow your crazy ass into a ditch... go for it, but don't think that I am going to take that bait. SMH
Here is my problem: there are too many men (NOT all, just too many) that have mixed priorities. Some of y'all are just too concerned with being a "baller", succeeding in business (to the detriment of everything else) or impressing other people to be effective leaders at home. How can you lead me, if you are trying to keep up with the Joneses? How can you lead me if you are still in your infancy? How can you lead me if you are so concerned with the office that you can't see what is happening at home? Finally, how can you lead me if you are unhappy? So we both have to be work centered, unhappy infants trying to keep up with the Joneses? I think not. Let's get this right: I have no problem letting a man lead. The RIGHT man. A responsible man, who thinks of me as his partner in life. A well balanced man that knows that work has its place, and that we don't have to swim in debt just because the Joneses are. A compassionate man who understands that while the Bible says that women should submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22), it also says that men should love their wives, like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25); love her as he loves himself (Ephesians 5: 28-30). See, Mr. Fake Preacher, I know Bible verses too, so let's just do each other a favor and not go there. Use those self serving tricks on someone else. Shame on you and you better be happy you didn't get cussed out.
If I have to keep dealing with crazies, there will be no question as to why my bitter ass isn't married! LOL

Soulful Saturday- 112

Hailing from Atlanta, 112 was one of the many 90s boy groups. They came around the mid to late 90s, so they were right at the beginning of the whole video girl era that I dislike. Even in one of the featured videos below there are women on stripper poles *sigh*... Even though that makes me give them a side eye, they were (are) talented. Even though they were associated with Bad Boy Entertainment and produced by Sean P. Diddy (or whatever he has made up this week) Combs, they can sing. They had the dance moves down and the guy "Slim" had range. I liked it... they are on my iPod, I am not ashamed to admit! :) Their songs are very suggestive-- but unlike today, they don't say everything. Just innuendo, strong innuendo! LOL What's funny is I have a very vivid memory about the members of 112... Picture this: Columbus Ohio 1995. hahaha- seriously!! We were at Northland Mall, which I don't think is around anymore. Momma Mox and I were shopping and in comes all four members of 112, who were in town for a concert. Holy crap!! I talked to them (of course) and got a hug from Slim. We were leaving the store and Momma Mox was giving me a lecture about hugging random guys I don't know. I think it went something like this: "412, 112, I don't care- you don't know where he has been!" LOL Gosh, I love that woman!!


Peaches and Cream :) (This is a song about... adult situations!)
*So sweet I can't forget, so good girl, you make me sweat.
*I can see you over there, just chilling with your girlfriends. Can't believe you're by yourself, you should be here with me, chilling with me, drinking with me, freaking with me...

It's Over Now
*Baby, it's a shame we gotta go through this. We can't even talk, girl we don't even kiss. I never would have thought we'd be breaking up like this, but it's over now.

-Another suggestive song, but really how cool do they sound now, singing about doing it on a water bed? LOL
*I wanna talk back to her, make love to her. I wanna hear you scream my name.
*We can make love in the bedroom, floating on top of my water bed; I'm kissing you, running my fingers through your hair. In the hallway, making our way beside the stairs;
*I can love you in the shower, both of our bodies dripping wet; On the patio, we can make a night you won't forget; On the kitchen floor as I softly pull your hair. We can do it anywhere... (gasp)

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Paging a Doctor... Any Doctor. This Man Needs Help.

The Internet is abuzz with the shenanigans of a certain actor who will remain nameless in this post (he has a brother named Emilio and a dad named Martin).  I am not naming him because I refuse to take part in glorifying his very clear nervous breakdown. This man has berated people he has worked with, left a very profitable job and is making a fool of himself on TV EVERY morning and everyone seems to think that it is funny.  I don't think it is funny-- I think it is sad.
Every day people walk around with bottled up energy. That energy can be either good or bad. The release of said energy is how we behave during the day. If I behaved the way that this actor is behaving, I would hope that my friends (and family) would grab me up and give me the help I need. Y'all better not let me run around on the Today Show and show my ass in front of sexy Matt Lauer (I digress). Seriously, WHERE ARE HIS FAMILY MEMBERS?? Better yet, what was the trigger that made this actor fall off the deep end? There needs to be an intervention of some kind. Actually, there needs to be anything besides everyone taking joy in the fact that he is losing it.  I am tired of my Twitter timeline being full of jokes about him. Dude, this is not a joke. It is sad. This is his life, and his life is falling apart.
His kids were taken away, two marriages have (very publicly) ended, drug abuse is clear, he lost his job, he has had a public feud with his boss... and somehow, people see him as a source of entertainment. Am I the only one who sees this as a scream for help? I couldn't possibly be the only one who thinks that someone should offer him a helping hand, could I? You know, I really want to slap him and have him get it together- I mean, he is a millionaire, some sort of "celebrity." He lives a life that some of us can only dream of, and he is squandering it all away for drugs and sex with hot pieces of ass? So yeah, I want to pop him a good one, but I have to ask-- What kind of society do we live in where people think this shit is funny? Y'all don't seem to remember that there was an eathquake last week; that gas is $4 a gallon; that unemployment is still high and people are still suffering, but you can take time out to laugh it up and make up jokes about someone in a super dark place in their life? Be encouraging the craziness, even? What does it say about the American public that just CAN'T get enough of this nonsense? We take joy in the fact that someone besides ourselves is losing it? What does it say about us that our social media "walls" are covered with his name or an update of what he is doing?  To me, it says that the vast majority of us are right on his level-- pathetic and petty. SMH.

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