Why I Won't See Birth Of A Nation

The movie Birth of a Nation came to a theater near you two weekends ago... and was promptly declared a "flop". Now there are articles being shared online blaming Black women for this box office flop and I really feel the need to address this. Let me just type this: I am sick to death of the idea that Black women get blamed for all the wrongdoings and downfalls of the Black community. Lately it seems like we are responsible for everything. It is our fault that we get married later in life or that we don't get married at all, that we have children out of wedlock, that Black men are jailed/killed/victims of brutality, That Black men marry outside our race, that our children are not productive, that the sky is blue and fucking grass is green. Now we (as a group) are blamed because a Black man's movie failed at the box office. I wasn't going to see Birth of a Nation. That hasn't changed. After all, I did tell Lefty that I wouldn't take him to anymore Black movies, because we have seen a lot. Date nights in this household... LOL. Seriously, there are several reasons why I really have no need to see this movie, the most glaring being:

**I already know the story. I mean, I am not trying to be too big a dick or anything, but I was a history major. I have studied this revolt. I know about it. I don't need to pay $15 to see it on-screen.**

That seems harsh when I read it. Oh well, that shit is true. If you don't know the story, please feel free to read up on Nat Turner, African American history, U.S. History. Let me just say: because I do know the story I feel comfortable in noting that this film about a slave revolt might not have been well received anyway. In all historical accounts, a large number of White folks were murdered during this uprising. In our current political climate here in America, the idea that downtrodden Black folks (you know, like, folks that are indiscriminately being killed by state actors like the police, or those being disenfranchised during this election season) would ban together and rise against their oppressors, could be seen as problematic. Maybe that is another reason that people didn't rush to see this movie. There is a rumor that Black women did not flock to see this movie because Nate Parker has a White wife. Uh, nope... that certainly is NOT the reason I didn't take my White husband to see this movie.

I don't know, and I don't get paid to guess so I will tell you the number one reason I won't see it: Nate Parker. That dude is so problematic. I get it-- he was found not guilty in the rape case against him. Good for him. A criminal record for an actor/director is not disqualifying for me. HOWEVER, when asked about the rape case and the subsequent suicide of the young woman involved, Nate Parker could NOT have been more repulsive. Listen, I get that the trial was probably a rough time for him, but he had to know that it was going to come up. Google is a hell of a thing-- he knew that it was made public. Why not show some sympathy for that girl's family? Why not show some... good fucking upbringing in your answers about it? I mean, I am not saying kiss anyone's ass. I'm saying that Parker COULD have said "That was a particularly hard time in my life and I feel bad that they young lady has taken her life... now let me tell you about this movie." Or, "that was a rough time for me, that young lady's family is in my thoughts and prayers." The way he (almost) cried for himself in that 60 minutes interview... he could have given some of that sympathy for that girl's family. I mean damn, I am a salty bitch, but even I act like I have feelings when speaking about victims and their families. And it isn't fake concern-- I didn't know that young woman but I feel bad that she was sexually assaulted. I feel bad that she thought that her only option was to take her own life. And that is an outside person looking in on this shit show.

I am many things: Black, woman, liberal, feminist, wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc. I feel sympathy and empathy for many groups and people. Nate Parker could have been better. I think he knows that. I have (almost) moved past yelling at people to get my point across. When the jury in the George Zimmerman trial found that fucker not guilty, I swore off the entire state of Florida. I haven't vacationed there, hell, I don't even buy Florida oranges. I vote with my money-- every day. It may not be much, but it is what I am able to do. Hell, I wanted to see the movie Sully. Tom Hanks is in it and it looked good, but it was directed by Clint Eastwood, who has lost his damn mind, so that was a no go. I want to see Hacksaw Ridge, which comes out soon, but it was directed by Mel Gibson, so... hell no. So, again, I will vote with my money and not see Birth of a Nation, but all the people blaming ALL Black women for the flop can go see it and tell me if it is good. (Feel that side eye action).

Does the story of Nat Turner need to be told? Absolutely. Do I, as a Black woman, need to make sure my daughter knows the story? Absolutely. Do I need to watch a movie directed by a seemingly non-sympathetic asshat? Nah, I don't.

BHM 2014 - Lucy Stanton Day Sessions

Lucy Stanton was born as a freed inhabitant of Cleveland, Ohio on October 16, 1831. Stanton became the first black American woman to complete a four-year college course when, in 1850, she graduated with a Literary Degree from the Ladies' Literary Course of Oberlin College. For over a century the Ohio college has recognized its early Literary Course program as equivalent to a degree program even though it did not award graduates with a bachelor’s degree. In 1862 Oberlin College formally awarded the first bachelor’s degree to an African American woman when Mary Jane Patterson graduated with a B.A. 

In 1846, Stanton enrolled in Oberlin Collegiate Institute (now Oberlin College), a progressive abolitionist institution. In 1849 she was elected president of the school’s Ladies Literary Society, and her commencement speech was a moving appeal for antislavery. 

Upon graduation in 1850, she moved to Columbus, Ohio to become principal of a school but two years later returned to Cleveland when she married Oberlin classmate William Howard Day, a librarian who edited an abolitionist newspaper, the Alienated American. In 1854, she became the first African American to have a fictional story published when she wrote a short story on slavery for her husband’s newspaper. 

Two years later, the couple moved to Buxton, Canada to teach fugitive slaves and in 1858 had a daughter, Florence. However, the following year William Day left on business for England, abandoning his family and requesting a divorce. Lucy returned to Cleveland, finding work as a seamstress to support her daughter but remained active as an abolitionist. In 1866 she was sponsored by the Cleveland Freedman’s Association to teach in Georgia and later Mississippi, where she met and married her second husband, Levi Sessions in 1878. 

The couple moved to Tennessee where Lucy Sessions continued her philanthropic work, including serving as president of the local Women’s Christian Temperance Union. She and her husband later moved to Los Angeles, California.  Lucy Stanton Day Sessions died in Los Angeles on February 18, 1910.

To Be Young, Black and Female

Oh, awards season... you give me so much to talk about. For once,I am not talking about something that someone was wearing, but instead I am typing about the now infamous Tweet that made the interwebs scream with justifiable outrage last night. If you missed it (where have you been?!) a parody newspaper- that will remain unnamed because I am not giving them any free press on this blog- called a 9 year old, Black actress a cunt.

Now, I know what parody and satire are, I use these instruments in my every day life. I use them well... against people who deserve it. I also know what Freedom of Speech is. I often defend the right for people to say what is on their mind... and my right to make them pay for it through tears they will shed when I prove them wrong. Calling a 9 year old a cunt is not parody or satire. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't funny. Does this "newspaper" have the right to say it? Yes, but then we, as the public, have the right to make them regret the choice of posting it on social media. I gladly take part in making them regret that choice.

I am angry. I am angry because there are people who have actually typed "that is just how this 'newspaper' is." That does not excuse the behavior. There are people who deny the racial aspect of this tweet... and believe me, there IS a racial aspect to this tweet, namely that this "newspaper" has never used this vile description for a young white female who was nominated for an Oscar. There has been plenty of opportunity for that to happen, considering there have been scores of young, white women who have attended the Oscars and have been nominated for awards. So many more opportunities for this kind of thing to happen to Dakota Fanning, or her sister Elle, or anyone that looks like them.

Most of all, I am angry with Black people who seem to have no outrage for this behavior. I don't care who it is- no one, no publication, no politician, no RAPPER has the right to attack our children. Ever. That little girl got nominated for her work, got dressed up and went to an awards ceremony. That does not make her available for being called anything but her name (which I cannot pronounce). Going to get praised for work that you have done, especially as a child, SHOULD NOT open you up for name calling. I don't care if it was intended as a joke. There is not one thing that a 9 year old can do that would be a justification for calling her a cunt. Truthfully, there are a limited amount of things any woman could do that would warrant calling a GROWN woman a cunt. I am angry with Black people because about a year ago, everyone was so upset because of an unprovoked shooting of a Florida teen. Oh, there were marches and fantastic speeches and facebook petitions. Yet, here you can see the disgrace; you can see the beginning of the depravity. THIS is when there should be protests, letting people know that Black children cannot be abused in the "media". The protests cannot be saved for when they are shooting children down in the street because then it is TOO LATE. We should not be complacent about this "newspaper" calling this unsuspecting girl a cunt, a rapper calling women hoes and bitches (and our children constantly repeating these ideas), a man hitting a woman, a woman hitting a man, or ANYONE, under ANY circumstance, using whatever position they have to make others feel bad about themselves. This is NOT ok and what we put up with now is what will be used to destroy us later. You want to complain to me about how Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, yet you don't want to defend a little girl who is being attacked by a media outlet? You want to tell me about the plight of Black men and how they are an endangered species in America and there should be outrage for you... yet, you are ok with this little girl getting lambasted and called out of her name? Where are the fathers? Where are the protectors? Where is the outrage for her? Can you NOT see that if we let this go, someone will do it again and think it is ok? That this could be the beginning of a downward spiral?

And just so everyone is clear: Freedom of Speech is real and I believe in it. I also believe in consequences and paying for what you have done. Those are not separate ideals. If you put something out there, be prepared to reap the anguish or the benefits. Hopefully this "media outlet" suffers some firings and reorganizations for this monumental mishap.


 

Throwing Each Other to the Wolves?

A little over a year ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a Chicago icon. A true Chicago icon. Someone who makes a difference in people's lives EVERY day. Someone who touches thousands with her story, her struggles with AIDS, medication, and people who misinterpret her message-- Ms. Rae Lewis-Thornton. Now listen, I am not one for blowing smoke up people's asses. I don't really flip out about celebrities (except for Prince, Eddie Vedder, Zac Efron, David Beckham and Ralph from New Edition... you know, all the people I want to have love children with). Generally, I just think that they are just like every day people. They get lost in their own shit, just like I do. They wake up, go to sleep, eat (well some of those hoes don't eat, but again, I digress) all like we do; it just so happens that they get paid (large amounts of money in some cases) to sing, dance, act or whatever the hell they do. I say that to say, I wouldn't call Rae a Chicago icon, if I didn't really think she was.

 Icon status goes to her because she is so crystal clear with her message. The way that she speaks, writes and vlogs is just so... truthful. It is real, y'all. She has no problem tweeting, blogging and telling whoever will listen that she is a Diva with AIDS. She has a no holds barred kind of approach (kinda like my approach) and she shows the faith that she has, her good days AND her bad. She doesn't mince words- curse words, bad words, good words- whatever it takes to get the point across-- You always know what you are going to get with Rae and THAT is the thing that I love about her outreach. You know that no matter what you WANT to see, how pretty you WANT her explanation to be, she is going to give it to you straight and honest. Plus, she is a dog mom (absolutely AMAZING).

Rae is on a countdown to turning 50. (Go girl!) She puts up videos and tells about her day. Right now she is on an IV medication that is slowing her down a bit, so when I clicked to watch today's video and saw a sad face, that is what I thought the topic would be about. Oh no. Today Rae took to the airwaves to say that her honorary membership in a Black sorority has been revoked. Now- full disclosure- I am not a member of a sorority, black or otherwise. Some of my friends are and they absolutely enjoy it. I know the tenets of the Black sororities because I once thought of joining and I wanted to be able to make an educated decision about which organization would be the best fit for me, but again, I am not a member of any sorority-- and I am not going to post the name of the sorority that rescinded Rae's membership (I'll post her video).

 Rae says that the reason for the revocation of her membership was vulgarity. Now, let me say this, as noted about Rae is crystal clear with her message. She meets people where they are. She uses words that I use :) and from speaking with her, the night we met, it is my understanding that she/her message/her words haven't changed much in the 29 years that she has been an HIV/AIDS advocate. If that is true, has this sorority kicked Rae out because of the delivery of her message? If they are claiming that she is vulgar, but she hasn't changed her format, why would they have offered her membership to begin with? If her format has not changed, is it right for them to rescind her membership now? Knowing of some women in their rosters (both honorary and regular membership) who have not always been poster children for pure living, including extensive drug use, several out of wedlock children, behavior that was seen as less than lady like-- have any of those women had their membership rescinded? Has any of their behaviors been categorized as "vulgar"? Or is it JUST Rae? One of this organizations points of interest is Physical and Mental Health... don't they NEED the likes of Rae Lewis-Thornton? Don't they NEED someone like her to teach our children that sex today has consequences, some of which never go away? Don't they need her crystal clear, no holds barred message to be shouted from the rooftops in order to help their objective of bettering the African-American community? Have they used her for all that they could and have now thrown her to the wolves? IS THIS ACCEPTABLE? And if it is- are these sororities and fraternities really working towards the betterment of the Black community? You decide.
 

Oh, Yes he did! Boris Kodjoe and Twitter

Heavyset African American women are lighting Twitter up because of a series of tweets sent by Boris Kodjoe (see above) with his super sexy self. Now, before y'all start lighting up my email (don't embarrass yourself, by the way) I'm going to say what you don't want to hear: I ABSOLUTELY agree with what he said and someone HAD to say it.


Now, I am not one for spreading untruths (is that a word? :)) so I am going to quote a couple of his tweets. "...Had nightmares though about 300 pound women in thongs gnawing on chicken wings while grinding on me. Scary" "Ok, people. Just to make it clear. I love all women!..." "And we as a community have to be more conscious of our health. The numbers are shocking" "No more excuses! High Blood Pressure and diabetes do not 'run in your family'. Pork chops, mac n cheese, and tons of soda do! #stopitnow" Boris also added some fat excuses- things we say to ourselves that make it ok to not be healthy. My favorite was: "#fatexcuses 'MEN LIKE THICK GIRLS' There's a difference between a healthy and sexy stacked goddess (easy Boris!) and an unhealthy obese one."

Feel free to go to his Twitter account and read all the tweets that he laid out. Now, listen... I love (almost) everybody. My personal motto is: if you like it, I love it. I don't care if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds, how you live and what you do-- to yourself-- is up to you. There are significant problems with anorexia in this country AND obesity. As long as your behavior does not affect me and my eating habits, have at it. I don't want anyone telling me what to do in my kitchen, bedroom or life-- I, therefore, will not venture out and tell you what to eat, who to sleep with or how productive to be. Do you, because I am POSITIVELY going to do me. With that said, I have no issue with Boris calling women to task-- AT ALL. He wasn't being being mean spirited (like this entry) and it seems as though his tweets came from a concern for health in the Black community. I can roll with that. I like it, in fact.

The statistics that he tweeted are true. The excuses that he tweeted are ones I've heard before. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I'm not fat, I'm thick!" Ooo-wee, don't say that!! We all know that there is a difference and we all know that being skinny doesn't always mean that you are healthy. We ALL know that. But while we all know the above, here is what I want all of you to realize/accept/and LOVE: just because you LOVE the way you look, the way your life is going, the person that you are with, etc. that, in NO way means that everyone is going to love the choices that you make. If you are being the best that you can and you are consciously making an effort to get in shape or not, to gain weight or lose it, make sure that you are comfortable in your own skin and ready to take some criticism. The way I see it, the only reason way ANYone would take offense to those tweets is if they were overweight and had a self esteem issue. Like Boris tweeted: "I love women that love themselves." So, love yourself-- if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds. Love every stretch mark, line, wrinkle, lazy eye, ugly toe, chipped tooth, every inch of what you got... or get your ass out there and change it, but not for Boris. Do it for you.

Oh, the Persecution

To say that I am COMPLETELY offended by the above billboard is an understatement. Yes, you read that right- that picture is a billboard. It has been taken down, but just the idea that someone thought that this was ok, says volumes. This monstrosity was unveiled on February 23 (during Black History Month), in part, by a Dallas "pastor" who says that he believes that Black women feel like they have no option other than abortion. Hmmm.
Let me start by saying I am not a pro-life; I am safely within the realms of pro-choice. By no means does that mean I think abortion should be used for birth control, but I do think that women should be able to choose what is good for them at the time. I have seen what people do to unwanted children, or children they simply can't care for, and it is shameful. If a woman or a young lady at the age of majority chooses to terminate her pregnancy, I have no opinion on that. I have my own personal opinion of what I would do, but I don't think that what is right for me should be forced onto other women in other situations, with other goals. Luckily, I have never had to make a decision in regards to ending a pregnancy, but if I did, I would never be so shortsighted to think that everyone should do whatever I do. Everyone is not hot, black and bitter, right?! Right.
With that said: in regards to this billboard-- are you fucking kidding me? Some people in America want to argue that the "face of Welfare" is a Black one... with several children- by several different men- that cannot be cared for. These are the children that grow up to be problems in our neighborhoods, overpopulate our jails and perpetuate this ghetto mentality. And THAT is wrong. A woman chooses to exercise her (very) legal right to terminate a pregnancy and THAT is wrong. So, what exactly is a Black woman to do? If you are a reader of this blog, you know that we aren't racing to the chapel to get married, so are we supposed to have no children? Why are their not billboards for every racial group? If these people see abortion as a type of genocide of racial groups, Blacks can't be the only group that should be getting attention. As for "pastor" so and so... He can eat me. He ought to be ashamed, as a Black man, to be the face of such a hate filled representation of one half of his race. You want to stand up against abortion- fine. It is legal, but so is freedom of speech... but to start an onslaught against Black women- he gets the side eye.
Could it be that groups are coming together to beat up on Black women? In situations like this, I will wave the race card. Are you telling me that NO other group has abortions? Impossible. Discourse on the topic, I can roll with, but subjecting ONE race to negative press... and then proposing to move said negative press all around the country? I call bullshit.

The Self Esteem Battle- Fed Up Friday

Chicago did, in deed, get snowed in during #snOMG 2011. During the time that twenty one inches of cold, white, fluffy stuff was blowing all over my neighborhood, I got to indulge in some internet news overload. During my review of the latest and greatest news in the entertainment world, I came across this headline: "Method Man Doesn't Like Natural Hair." Hmm, that can't be right, I thought to myself as I twisted my natural hair between my fingers. I read the article and already knew that no matter how that shit came out of his mouth, it was going to be a wrap for him in my mind-- and it is.

Essentially what he said (he has said that he was joking- and the video has been removed from YouTube) when asked if he liked natural hair was: "No. I don't like peasy afros, sorry. I don't like dreads either. I like a woman to get her hair did." This fool... SMH. Ok, just so I put it out there- I could give two shits if Method Man (aka Clifford Smith) likes MY natural hair. In fact, I could give less than two shits. Clifford is totally not relevant in my life, he pays no bills at this casa, and trust me what he dislikes, someone else LOVES and that is all that matters. Clifford is known for what? Smoking weed and acting like a dumb ass? And now I should care that for some reason my natural hair is not his thing? Yeah- he totally is not my flavor, so I am going to take Clifford's comments to mean that we are not a match made in heaven-- and trust me, I am ALL too good with that. I am disturbed by his comments (especially since he has daughters), but I am even more intellectually displaced by some of the conversations that took place after his comments became public.

If you didn't know, the natural hair community is fairly large (and ever growing). If you YouTube "Natural hair care" you will have thousands of videos detailing regimens that may be helpful on your natural hair journey. All of these women seem to be filled with self love and helpfulness. Now, however, Clifford's ridiculous comments have some in the natural hair community all in arms-- with each other. I read more than a few comments that said what I have said on several occasions: opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one; I don't like Clifford, so I don't care if he likes me, etc. But then some of these "women" lost their damn minds. I cannot tell you how many times I read: "He fine so, I still like him." Bitch, what? Ignorant statements like that make me want to go on a profanity laced tirade. Some man has CLEARLY stated that he doesn't like something that you find valuable; something that helps define you and you let that slide because... he is fine?

Grrr- first of all- Clifford is NOT fine. Let's just put that out there. Secondly- where the hell is your self love? It is 2011, and you will continue to support someone (Clifford depends on the public buying his albums and going to his movies- all of us- even the ones with 'fros and dreads) who publicly denounces something that you think is important? Wow. Let me put it to you like this: if Eddie Vedder, Prince or any of my other (numerous) musical crushes said that they wanted me to get my "hair did" I would laugh in their face, give them a few choice words and refuse to buy their music- ever. Trust me- it would be hard because I LOVE their music, but I love the person that I am more. The things that I think are valuable are with me always, they help define who I am, they make up my whole persona. And that girl isn't going to say "oh, but that man is so fine, that he can say whatever he wants, however he wants and I am just gonna take." Um, no. My money pays you and your insensitivity will be checked... HARD and IMMEDIATELY.

You don't like the way I wear my hair? Cool. I don't like the way you look? Cool. You want to put all these afro wearing ladies on blast? Fine... just don't come looking for us the next time you drop an album, Clifford. At least not me... those "ladies" who will support you because you are "fine" after you tell them that their afro is peasy (unattractive) deserve whatever other degrading words you have for them. They deserve more lyrics like "I'm not above smacking a bitch's teeth down their throats"; "these big butt bitches get they ass kicked"; "Hell yeah I gotta have them verses and them hooks, plus a little money off the books, and a playboy bunny that can cook"; "Bitch we both want some, you got titties and ass, but I got dick and some cash, you ain't talking bout shit then Imma bout to smash, bitch. On three, on me, bitch you my property." ... Fine my ass- those lyrics should make you uncomfortable. Even without his latest ignorance, those lyrics should already make you NOT support him. "Ladies" are you listening? Because he is putting it out there for you to hear in almost every song.

Ladies: Do better; demand better. What you accept is all that you will ever get.

Clifford: I hope that you get it together... Natural is beautiful. Relaxed is beautiful. Some ladies have enough self image issues without your help... Thanks.