The Self Esteem Battle- Fed Up Friday

Chicago did, in deed, get snowed in during #snOMG 2011. During the time that twenty one inches of cold, white, fluffy stuff was blowing all over my neighborhood, I got to indulge in some internet news overload. During my review of the latest and greatest news in the entertainment world, I came across this headline: "Method Man Doesn't Like Natural Hair." Hmm, that can't be right, I thought to myself as I twisted my natural hair between my fingers. I read the article and already knew that no matter how that shit came out of his mouth, it was going to be a wrap for him in my mind-- and it is.

Essentially what he said (he has said that he was joking- and the video has been removed from YouTube) when asked if he liked natural hair was: "No. I don't like peasy afros, sorry. I don't like dreads either. I like a woman to get her hair did." This fool... SMH. Ok, just so I put it out there- I could give two shits if Method Man (aka Clifford Smith) likes MY natural hair. In fact, I could give less than two shits. Clifford is totally not relevant in my life, he pays no bills at this casa, and trust me what he dislikes, someone else LOVES and that is all that matters. Clifford is known for what? Smoking weed and acting like a dumb ass? And now I should care that for some reason my natural hair is not his thing? Yeah- he totally is not my flavor, so I am going to take Clifford's comments to mean that we are not a match made in heaven-- and trust me, I am ALL too good with that. I am disturbed by his comments (especially since he has daughters), but I am even more intellectually displaced by some of the conversations that took place after his comments became public.

If you didn't know, the natural hair community is fairly large (and ever growing). If you YouTube "Natural hair care" you will have thousands of videos detailing regimens that may be helpful on your natural hair journey. All of these women seem to be filled with self love and helpfulness. Now, however, Clifford's ridiculous comments have some in the natural hair community all in arms-- with each other. I read more than a few comments that said what I have said on several occasions: opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one; I don't like Clifford, so I don't care if he likes me, etc. But then some of these "women" lost their damn minds. I cannot tell you how many times I read: "He fine so, I still like him." Bitch, what? Ignorant statements like that make me want to go on a profanity laced tirade. Some man has CLEARLY stated that he doesn't like something that you find valuable; something that helps define you and you let that slide because... he is fine?

Grrr- first of all- Clifford is NOT fine. Let's just put that out there. Secondly- where the hell is your self love? It is 2011, and you will continue to support someone (Clifford depends on the public buying his albums and going to his movies- all of us- even the ones with 'fros and dreads) who publicly denounces something that you think is important? Wow. Let me put it to you like this: if Eddie Vedder, Prince or any of my other (numerous) musical crushes said that they wanted me to get my "hair did" I would laugh in their face, give them a few choice words and refuse to buy their music- ever. Trust me- it would be hard because I LOVE their music, but I love the person that I am more. The things that I think are valuable are with me always, they help define who I am, they make up my whole persona. And that girl isn't going to say "oh, but that man is so fine, that he can say whatever he wants, however he wants and I am just gonna take." Um, no. My money pays you and your insensitivity will be checked... HARD and IMMEDIATELY.

You don't like the way I wear my hair? Cool. I don't like the way you look? Cool. You want to put all these afro wearing ladies on blast? Fine... just don't come looking for us the next time you drop an album, Clifford. At least not me... those "ladies" who will support you because you are "fine" after you tell them that their afro is peasy (unattractive) deserve whatever other degrading words you have for them. They deserve more lyrics like "I'm not above smacking a bitch's teeth down their throats"; "these big butt bitches get they ass kicked"; "Hell yeah I gotta have them verses and them hooks, plus a little money off the books, and a playboy bunny that can cook"; "Bitch we both want some, you got titties and ass, but I got dick and some cash, you ain't talking bout shit then Imma bout to smash, bitch. On three, on me, bitch you my property." ... Fine my ass- those lyrics should make you uncomfortable. Even without his latest ignorance, those lyrics should already make you NOT support him. "Ladies" are you listening? Because he is putting it out there for you to hear in almost every song.

Ladies: Do better; demand better. What you accept is all that you will ever get.

Clifford: I hope that you get it together... Natural is beautiful. Relaxed is beautiful. Some ladies have enough self image issues without your help... Thanks.

A week of Thankfulness- Haters

This seems weird, huh? To be thankful for someone not liking you? It seems weird to take joy in the fact that someone can dislike you so much that they think of things to make your day hard. I have to say, it seems odd, but I love it.

For me the biggest and best form of flattery comes from a person that is trying to drag my name through the mud. Because EVERY chance I get, I will prove them wrong. Tell me I can't be successful and I will make you EAT.THOSE.WORDS. Tell me I can't do something and I WILL do it...well. Better than you... and your friends. And then I will smile in your face. See, I love to be right and I love to make people question their perceptions of me. So you can talk trash all day. And guess what? I will be on your mind-- ALL day.

You remember that song Conceited by Remy Ma? Yeah, that was my theme song for a while. I am not phased by women who think that I want their boyfriends, or by men who are insecure. It makes me smile and it should be a clue that they need to get themselves together. I don't have time to be everyones cheerleader, so if you are feeling like you aren't up to par, more than likely, you aren't.

I am, by no means, where I aspire to be... but I am on my way. And no Debbie Downer is going to make me feel bad about who I am or what I do. There have been some who have caught me off guard, but trust and believe this: No one will put me on a higher pedestal than I have placed myself on. And I am not giving anyone permission to take my pedestal away.. SO hate on, my friends. In the end, I will be victorious. Below, Remy Ma and Katt Williams illustrate my point.

Pet Peeves and Being the Mayor of Haterville

I am sitting here, reading blogs and watching the Blackhawks vs. Flyers. I am usually on top of blog reading (or skimming), but the last few weeks have been packed full of nonsense. I didn't have internet access at home, and while I can read and write blog entries on my BlackBerry, I think that activity is adding to my eventual case of carpel tunnel syndrome (I am only half joking). So I have been writing entries out long hand, wasting paper and falling behind. On a good note- if the next couple of weeks are slow news weeks, I still have material. :)

So, as I am reading backlog blog entries of friends and acquaintances, I came across this. Full disclosure, I know one half of the Harlem Love Birds. Quiana and I went to high school together, so I am sure that we have similar thought processes. Needless to say, I really enjoyed this blog... it leads me to think that I am not the only one that sees bad behavior and comments on it. Last week, I was walking to work from the train and I saw a woman whose shirt was, um, inadequate at covering the necessities and I commented on it on my facebook status. A buddy from college asked me when I became a hater. Really? I don't think that I am a hater for pointing out the fact that I saw nipples on the way to work. In fact, other than being very humerous for me, I think that I would appreciate it if someone told me that I was giving the city of Chicago a boob show!

Whatever the case, Quiana has inspired me to post a portion of my list (like I need to have tons of encouragement!) And yes, I am only posting a portion of my list, because, as we all know, the list of things that annoy me is endless. :) Hopefully everyone will take this list for what it is- a funny, yet poignant list... but if you don't, I can totally take being named the Mayor of Haterville again.

Here we go:

Sagging Skinny Jeans or sagging any jeans- ever- I have talked about this "trend" on facebook. Ugh, it makes me want to vomit. People who sag skinny jeans look like they are wearing a diaper. It is on of the least flattering things ever. Sagging jeans has origins in prison life and for the life of me I cannot figure out why anyone would want to emulate that behavior.

Disrespectful children- hmmm, who knew I was gonna say that? I do not appreciate kids who think that they can do or say anything they want, to anyone they want. Since when do we let kids run us? My philosophy is if you are "grown" enough to pretend you are an adult, you are old enough to get your feelings hurt like an adult. Talk shit, you get shit. Period. I will not walk on eggshells for disrespectful kids.

Men carrying book bags to work- Really? Book bags have been played out since '92. If you have graduated from high school or college and you have a job, carry a briefcase. Seriously, you are not 14 years old and a book bag does not go with a suit. At the very least, carry a black or brown messenger bag. Take that as a helpful hint.

Women with visible tattoos- I have tattoos; I like tattoos, however, I do not want to see your body art while you are at a formal event. Ladies, do what I did- get tattoos in a place that can be covered by formalwear. No one you work with wants to see the name of the man you loved at 18; or the barbed wire that circles your arm. Remember that tattoos are forever, so stop it with the tackiness. Along that same line of thought:

Men with prison like tattoos- Dude, um, if we are sitting cross the table from one another in a business meeting, I should not be fearing for my life- so stop it with the knuckle tattoos. Sincerely, I like tattoo sleeves like the next person, but jeez, when they go from your arm, to your neck, I go immediately to uninterested. Keep it classy because when you are old and things are saggy, you *may* regret having your ex girlfriend's face tattooed on your body... just saying.

Clothes that are too short, long, tight or otherwise non-fitting- I know that summer is on its way, but I should not be able to see your underwear (or lack thereof). Ladies, stay out of your daughter's/little sister's/smaller friend's closets. You know whether or not your clothes fit, and no matter what you think the camel toe is not a fashion statement you want to make. Look at yourself before you leave the house. PS. look at your children before you let them leave the house. Just as a helpful hint: a 7 year old should not be allowed to dress like a 17 year old... for real. Guys, if I wanted to see your underwear, I am bold enough to ask. Um, walking behind you on the street has become a very personal situation. Pull your pants up. The idea is to be well put together, not looking like you rushed out of the house.

Loud Talkers on Cell Phones- with all the advances made with cell phones do you REALLY think that the person on the other line cannot hear you?? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING while walking down the street? I was on the train the other day and oh, this woman was totally over-sharing while on the phone. I mean, I know what her doctor said to her at her appointment last week. That is a lot. The public as a whole can do without knowing what health issues you have, what you and your significant other argued about that morning, or your drunken sexual exploits from the weekend.

Platinum blonde hair on black people- Yeah, I said it. I don't care if you are mad. It didn't work for Sisqo, or Lil Kim and it doesn't work for Amber Rose. Whatevs- there is nothing wrong with hair colors that we are born with, black, brown, red... or even if you had some honey colored highlights, but a whole head of blonde? I'll pass.

Finally... biggest pet peeve? It is a tie! People who stare- what the hell are you looking at??? If I have something on my face, tell me, but do NOT stare. It. is. rude! People who 'smack' their lips when they are eating- that is just gross. I don't want to hear or see what you are consuming. Ewwwwwww.

You all know that I could continue, but I won't. I can guarantee that I personally saw all 10 of the above named situations...today. We have so far to go! LOL