While You Were Sleeping - Harriet Tubman

It is almost 1 AM. I NOW have a day job. I was so ready to go to sleep, until I saw references to THIS:



Ok, First of all- this shit is NOT funny. At all. In any form. Second- the fact that not only were they able to find Black actors to downplay the real rapes and savagery that took place during slavery as a JOKE... AND the fact that this appeared on Russell Simmons' All Def Digital YouTube channel- is astounding. Absolutely unbelievable. Third, and here is the true tragedy, there will be more Black people who see NO problem with this video. They may even chuckle. They will not correct others who DO laugh at this. They will be silent.

Now listen, I am not one to jump on a soapbox at the drop of a hat. This blog represents my personality in small snapshots, on topics that I choose to write about. Lately, the subjects are somewhat frivolous, but this is serious. As a lover of history, I have to say... The United States has had a sordid past- that is no surprise to anyone. The history of slavery in this country (and around the world) is no laughing matter. There is no denying that some people's reality has been shaped by the atrocities of 400+ years of a horrid system of buying and selling human beings, of split up families, of beatings and rapes that took place for no other reason than having the ability to do them without repercussion. There is no denying that America, is NOT in fact, post racial anything. We have all held onto stereotypes that began in the infancy of our country-- and some of us hold those stereotypes as truth in 2013.

What I hold as truth is as follows: I will not, ever, support Russell Simmons. Not ever. The fact that he, as a Black man in America okayed this... video... shows me that he does not have my interests, or the interests of a strong Black community, in mind.

Another truth (and I have held this one for decades- I have said it before and clearly I need to say it again): I will not support entertainers, movie "stars", producers, people on the street or relatives that use the N-word. I don't care if you are Paula Deen, Paula from high school, Paula down the street or Auntie Paula- there is NO excuse for anyone to use that word. Black people kill me trying to take back hurtful words- that one in particular. And non-Black people kill me when they try to explain why they should be allowed to say it. You will not disrespect me, my momma, my community, people who have died for the cause, no matter their race or humankind in general, by uttering that word in my presence. I do not care who you are. Father so and so, Pastor so and so, rapper so and so. Listen, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter says whatever the hell he wants and EVEN he does not say that word in front of me. If I ain't taking it from him... You surely will NOT get a pass.


The truth above all truths: I am a proud, strong, capable woman who knows the history of the country that she loves. I respect my history as a Black woman and the history of others. If I made a video about how much Jews really loved the Halocaust--how Hitler was actually a savior to the Jews he confined in the ghettos of Europe; or, how much Native Americans really loved marching the Trail of Tears and being forced to give up all they knew by outsiders who wanted more resources-- how they appreciated helping the English survive the winter on the East Coast, only to have those same people take everything that they had. If I made a video that somehow poked fun at the war crimes that are going on right now against POWs and others being held against their will. If I trivialized someone else's well noted struggle-- how would that be taken? Who would reprimand me? Someone would, right? So where is that someone NOW? Why is it that no one is standing up for the Black community when ideas like this are being thrown around the production room? Why didn't Russell Simmons see a problem with this mess BEFORE it made it to YouTube? Before there was outrage? WHERE WAS HIS OUTRAGE?? Why didn't the two Black actors in this skit say to themselves "hmm- this really is NOT funny, maybe we should try something else?" What made anyone think that this was okay? Why, when I do defend the Black community I am pegged as out of touch, or too sensitive? And for God's sake WHERE are the rest of the Black people who have a problem with this???


I am so tired of this. Here is the lesson that we (Black) people need to learn: the only way that the ills of our community can be cured is if we, as a community, stop putting up with substandard behavior from our members. We can't blame other people. We have got to nip the nonsense in the bud, all over. So that means, I have no love for Russell Simmons--- or his offspring. I don't live for making his pockets fatter. I have no love for all these rappers that are making it seem as though we are all fools who can't speak English and have thousands of babies without marriage. I have no love for the drug dealers and ridiculous petty criminals in our community. I draw the line and supporting EVERYTHING just because it is Black. Putting up with craziness is not my forte-- no matter who is bringing the crazy. People, we have GOT to expect and receive better from our own community, because I can't have another night like tonight. I can't watch another Black person acting like a fool for a few inappropriate laughs. I'm so done with this bullshit. So done.


 

My Abhorrence For Progressive Flo

Dear Progressive Flo:

I am writing to tell you that although your commercials are generally the bane of my existence, I really HATE your new effort. To me, a person who rarely complains about things that are racially insensitive (or any kind of insensitivity, really), this commercial seems way too reminiscent of the stereotypes that ran rampant in the 1920s, 30s... 40s. It starts off with an overweight woman demanding to see Flo about something that she gave to her husband and ends with a Black man acting like a fool. Oh, sigh... Flo, Flo, my sweet, annoying, ignorant Flo- even I, with my general lack of emotions, can see the resemblance between this "customer" and a mammy; and her husband as a Sambo. Even me.

Now look, I realize that since you are generally annoying the pants off of people, 60 seconds at a time, that it may not have crossed your little mind that this commercial could, you know, be offensive, but trust me, it is. This "commercial" happens to look more like a minstrel show than an ad for insurance. Let's look at this lady in your commercial. You know, for some comparison, Flo. This overweight, wide eyed woman comes into Progressive, looking for an explanation for her husband's seemingly incomprehensible ability to handle every day situations. You, Flo, calmly explain that you gave him the answer to all of his insurance problems, but there is a warning-- the "power" that you have given him can go to one's head. Then, the Black woman strikes that ever familiar pose (shaking head, hands on hips) and you cut away to her husband thinking he can conquer juggling chainsaws. Hmmm. The name of this work of art is 'Empowered' when really, it should be named "Let's try to pass this off and see how many Black people actually know that they are being made fun of."

Your "new" shit:


Some "old" shit:


Oh Flo, I can't be the only one that has noticed that really the only thing missing from this interaction with this woman is a dance move, or a musical number while she cooks dinner. But, I am helpful so here, let me give you (and your people at Progressive) a clue: not all Black women sing and dance, shake their heads, point their fingers and put their hands firmly on ample hips. Not all Black men act a fool after a white person solves a problem for them. No one wants to buy insurance from a shrill woman, like yourself. Even though Progressive is an Ohio company I, as an Ohioan, would be more likely to eat at Chik-Fil-A than buy your product (and I plan to NEVER eat at Chik-Fil-A). For the life of me, I just can't believe that no one has said this before... Oh wait... I'm not the first person to point out your insensitivity. You might want to look into that.

 Sincerely,

 Tired of Your Shit

 

Why We Fight - Racial Ignorance

I read THIS article from another blog that I follow... and immediately caught an attitude. Let me just say this: I am a proud member of a mixed race family. I have white brothers and a sister who have been adopted into a (now) very large Black family, with Black parents and Black siblings. It was not a social experiment. We didn't adopt them to see how things would turn out and we didn't flee from adopting Black babies in favor of adopting these three white children.

This simple ass article, well, really not even an article, did not even reflect the real story in the New York Times, which can be found here. They took the most simplistic, close minded view of the situation that there was: why is a Black family adopting a white baby? They said that Mr. and Mrs. Ware "sought" to adopt a white baby... and that is not true. They sought to adopt as quickly as possible (after suffering three miscarriages) and the baby that was offered for adoption happened to be white. If the "author" of this article read the NYT piece, he or she would know that. If the "author" was not trying so hard to ignite some racist fueled anger and just used, you know, facts, then I would not have to spend the time correcting ignorance. That aside, I have some questions of my own: did they ask the same when Sandra Bullock adopted her Black son? What about when Katherine Heigl and her husband adopted a Korean baby, or when the adopters wet dream, Angelina, went all over the world adopting her clan? Was it a social experiment then? Or is it just a social experiment when a Black family adopts a child that doesn't look like them?

With all the children waiting to be adopted in the United States, does it matter who goes where? Do we all have to match everyone in our families? If I was waiting for a family, should I only get to go with a family who looks like me? After checking out the rest of their site, I do see why the Council of Conservative Citizens want everyone to stick with their own. These are the same crop of people that are undoubtedly building bomb shelters and waiting for the race wars to start. SMH. Yet another group of people with tired images/thoughts of minorities ruining a country built on the backs of those very same minorities. To the members and donors of CoCC, please do not procreate. I do not have the time and inclination to fight all of your nonsensical ideas with my brilliance (and modesty). We have enough ridiculously dumb people roaming the Earth, we do not need your contribution.

Has Black History Month Made Us Lazy?

Today is February 1st, which means it is the first day of Black History Month. People have said several things about Black History Month being the shortest month of the year, etc. In fact, one of my Twitter buddies said that his February wish was that Black History Month took place during the longest month of the year, not the shortest. I responded, of course, with "Why? We only teach about the same top five Black people." He agreed, and said that it was sad that our kids don't get to know about more people. So here is my question- has having a month where we are supposed to celebrate African American history made us lazy? Have we started to see it as a burden, and therefore started to teach the same stuff about the same people every year? Are we even using the few days we have to teach ANYONE about the dramatic effect that African Americans have had on this country? If not, who is to blame?

So, I get easily annoyed, right?! (LOL) Well, nothing really "toast my buns" as much as holier than thou people (in ANY situation- any topic). In this situation, I am thoroughly turned off by Blacker than Black people who judge me (or anyone else) because I don't want to move back to Africa and live in a village. Or because I date outside my race; or have the audacity to correct Black men, women and children if they get out of line. Man, please. Where are the Blacker than Blacks during February? Why aren't they loading up their facebook news feeds with a different Black trendsetter, every day in February? Why aren't they out in their communities making a difference? Why aren't they mentoring? Could it be because they don't know 28 Black trendsetters, innovators, scholars? Could it be they are running from their communities? Don't know how to be an effective mentor? *crickets* I know more than 28 Black innovators, but damn me for calling your ass out and bringing home white boys, right?! Sickening!!

Where would the United States be without the inventions of Black people? Have you ever thought about that? Do you teach your children about the extraordinary things that Blacks overcame- some not even 50 years ago (truthfully some feats were overcome last week, yesterday even!)- in order to make the life that they have more comfortable? When they ask you for help with a school project on African American history, do YOU do research on someone out of the "safe box" and help them find out about someone new... or do you ram MLK down their throats for another year? Don't get me wrong- MLK was fabulous. He was a voice when many didn't have one. He made a stand, and sacrificed his life for the betterment of ALL of us... but he wasn't at those rallies alone! He wasn't the only Black man thrown in jail! He wasn't the only man who lost his life during the Civil Rights Movement. Right?!

Do we deserve 28 days, if we are only using 5... OK, maybe we are using 10. WTF are you doing the other 18? Should you even be complaining if you don't fully use the month you have been given? Can you name more than 10 Black educators, innovators, politicians, etc.?? And don't come at me with Barack Obama, Cornel West, MLK, Malcolm X, Farrakhan, Rosa Parks, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Fredrick Douglas, Marcus Garvey, Stokely Carmichael, Huey Newton, Angela Davis, Maya Angelou, Eldridge Cleaver, or anyone like that- the people that EVERY one knows about (or should). For all you lovelies in Greek organizations-- I am not talking about people that are your brothers and sisters, either-- because while those people were surely revolutionaries, our culture has had WAY more revolutionaries than that, right?

My point is this: until we are willing to fully USE all the days that are allotted to us to celebrate the culture, beauty and astounding richness of African American history in this country and beyond, we really shouldn't complain about having the shortest month of the year. Because really- without any doubt- it is OUR responsibility to make Black History Month happen, every month, every week, EVERY day. So, get on your job... do better.

Successful Black Women and Marriage. Is it possible?

I am 30-something. I am Black...and up until two years ago, I could have been considered slightly successful. :) Do those three things ensure that I will remain single? After watching this lovely Nightline special, it seems that the answer to that question is yes.

What is the reason that all these successful Black women will remain single in such high numbers (there is an estimate that says as many as 70% of educated Black women will remain unmarried)? I argue that there is more than one reason. Some classics that I have heard are: we are too argumentative, too proud, too picky, we don't know how to let men be men, we are non accepting and (my favorite) we are so unattractive that even our own Black men do not want us.

To all of the above excuses I say: are you f*cking kidding me?? Really? Here are my answers to the above. Argumentative, proud and picky: damn right I am! Absolutely. Let me say this- I did not put myself through college so I could put up w dating a man (of any color) who does not meet my standards. I am smart; my mate will be also. He will have a real job... He will (probably) be educated and we will have things in common. So? That is not a bad list. That list does not make me a bitch- that is me requesting a mirror image of myself. And guess what? I deserve that. I didn't work hard so that I can get married and lose half my shit to a deadbeat- no matter who it is. And don't worry yourself- I am an elitist with everyone- across the board- if you don't have what I want, I will not be interested long. Side note: if we've dated and it was less than a year- you did not posses what I wanted. Sad, but true!

Not letting men be men... As far as I can see, more men need lessons on being men, not just big boys. I have no problem being led- IF I have a good leader. I have no issue relinquishing control, if the person with the reins knows what he is doing. I just cannot find a man who knows what he is doing. Being a man does not mean you are able to produce children; it means that you are able to support them. Being a man does not mean that you are able to make money illegally; it means that you are able to make a legal living and use it to live within your means and take care of your family. Being a man does not mean that you 'bed' every woman who looks good to you or looks at you or feigns interest in you, it means that you actively look for A (as in one) woman that you could actually have something with and sleep with her (and only her). Lastly, being a man does not mean that you take all that unhappy baggage from your LAST relationship into your NEW relationship; it means that you learn from past mistakes and grow from them. There are many reasons why the men that I have dated are not exactly marriage material- and it isn't because I spend my time emasculating them. Maybe they had lacking examples of what a man should be and are therefore struggling with how to be a good man themselves.

Am I demanding? Damn right! I've earned the right to be. Does that mean that I am unbending? Absolutely not. Relationships are about give and take. I know that. I didn't make it 30-something years and not learn a few things. I love men. Manly men. Someone who completes the person I am- as corny as that sounds! Great personality and a good heart is what I am looking for. That and a great education... Like myself. I don't apologize for that, even if it means that I remain unmarried. I WILL NOT settle so that I can be married. Do I want to be married- absolutely. Am I willing to change what I am looking for? Nope. I can tweek my list but I ain't throwing it out the window completely!!

As far as the unattractive thing... Please, I'm HOT, so we all know that point is moot! ;)

What do you see as the outstanding reason why so many Black women are unmarried? Do you care? Comment or email- let me know! :)