If You Know Like I Know

Yesterday a young lady named Quantasia Sharpton, along with her attorney Lisa Bloom, held a press conference. In said press conference, Sharpton detailed her alleged sexual contact with the R&B singer Usher Raymond. Now, I don't know whether or not the sexual contact happened-- though I am leaning towards yes, because why else would she expose herself to the wrath of the prepubescent fans of an entertainer? Honestly, I don't care if they had sex or not. They were both adults at the time and Sharpton has said that she has tested negative for the sexually transmitted disease that Usher supposedly has. If that were the end of the situation... well, I wouldn't be writing about it. 

Nah. The situation couldn't be that tidy. Listen, I didn't watch the press conference, but while it was ongoing, I did log into Twitter and I saw all that I needed to. As soon as Sharpton hit the stage a good 85% of folks watching said that the interaction could not have happened. Not because they had the time to vet her story; not because she had a history of lying, or because Usher is such a choir boy. Nope, folks couldn't believe that Usher fucked this chick... because she is overweight. Um... 

So, are we all out here thinking that big folks don't get second looks? They don't get dicked down? Because of the size of their panties? That idea is laughable. Let me shed some light on those fat shaming eyes... 

If you know like I know: we all have a "fat" friend who has more sex than your "fit" friends; being thick is in style-- know that. Plus, what is that saying? You can be the ripest, juiciest peach on a tree and you will still run into someone who doesn't like peaches. Uh, 100% correct. Only extremely young and/or dumb folks think that smaller built folks are more lovable. 

If you know like I know: when asked, most men will tell you the size of a partner is not a concern. 100 pounds or 250 pounds, when it is about to go down, IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN. They don't care. And how many times do we have to see that scenario play out in real life? Uh, some men have a skinny wife and a larger sized mistress. It is what it is. 

If you know like I know, most of us are living in denial of our overweight status (ahem).

Finally, if you know like I know... most of y'all missed the entire point of that press conference. Yep, Lisa Bloom could have dressed her better (because personally, I don't think the color she was wearing flatters ANYone) but I digress. Who gives a fuck if that chick is big? We have an entertainer running through folks in our community and not sharing their STD status. That shit is dangerous, right? I mean, there are incurable diseases out there... right? And you and your little clique are upset because Usher may have had sexual contact with a larger girl-- but NOT upset that he is (possibly) fucking multiple folks with a dirty dick?? I need y'all to come on and get right. 

We have ALL done some questionable shit. I'm not judging that girl for sexual contact with Usher. Because if I was approached by my favorite entertainer on my 19th birthday, there is no telling what I would have done. I'm not even mad at Usher for having sex with as many people as he wants-- I mean, I think that is a perk of stardom. HOWEVER, that shit should be done responsibly. If you KNOW that you have a STD, you should be truthful. And if you don't know your STD status, you should get tested. Immediately. Folks need to realize that a baby is not the worst thing that can come from a sexual interaction. If you have the possibility of giving people a disease, man up and tell them that. There is a reason why it is against the law (in some states) to keep that info to yourself. It is about CONSENT. Consent to take on a possible lifetime of fighting a disease. And really... if you can't tell the person that you are about to be intimate with that you are harboring a disease... uh, your punk ass shouldn't be having sex.

Fed Up Friday - Caping for the Villians

Ah, 2016. Here you are, just over a week ago some of us were ringing you in with the hopes and promises of being better people-- more awake to everything that goes on around us. Ah, some of us are liars. Horrible liars. Social media tells all. It lets us know who continues to bring the close minded bullshit from previous years to our mental doorsteps... and let me just say, there are a lot of you assholes. You haven't dropped the shit that holds you back. You still spend your day talking shit about situations/people/places you (still) don't understand. You post memes-- misspelled memes-- that espouse your ridiculous stance on whatever your cause of the hour is. Making me sick. Like, more than morning sickness... making me physically ill.  Prime example: the events of today.

Today is R. Kelly's 49th birthday. How do I know this? Because a radio station in Columbus told me so, several times. Listen, I cannot even pretend that I didn't rock to R. Kelly in the 1990s. He was everywhere and his shit was grand, hear me? Grand. One of my college roommates loved R. Kelly. In the broke days of college, when you actually had to go and purchase CDs at the store when they came out, I am not ashamed to say that I stood in line a couple times. But that, friends, was the 90s. The unnamed radio station in Columbus played some R. Kelly hits AFTER playing portions of an interview where Mr. Kelly got angry at the reporter for bringing up several past allegations of sexual abuse of minors. And THAT is why I don't fuck with R. Kelly anymore. Sexual abuse of minors. Several minors. He has a penchant for young girls. Man, what?

You know who else seems to have a thing for young girls? Some dude named Tyga. I don't know what he does, but I am guessing he is some kind of musician. He looks like a weird underfed rat. Whatevs. I guess that he has hooked up with one of the young(er) KarTRASHians, before her 18th birthday, and has been caught sending direct messages to a 14 year old on Instagram. Fourteen. He has men all up in arms talking about "that girl doesn't look 14..." Tyga claims that he contacted her because she is a musician. She says that in the direct messages he NEVER mentioned music. Uh huh.

And then there is the biggest news story in all the Black world-- Bill Cosby. Cosby is STILL in the news regarding his drugging and raping women for DECADES. Fifty plus women have come forward, with stories that are close to the same, claiming that the man who gave us The Cosby Show takes advantage of women. This week his attorney, who is a Black woman, hit the airwaves to profess his innocence- on a case by case basis it seems. She is leaving all kinds of reporters in her wake, which is impressive to some. Me, not so much, but hey lawyers have to mount a good defense for their clients, right?

Let me tell you WHY these three stories are annoying. R. Kelly is getting praise for his music and people tend to forget his shady ass past. Tyga has been given a built in excuse that the girl he is talking to through direct messages doesn't LOOK her age. Bill Cosby is given a pass because he is supposedly "America's Dad" because of a show that was on the air 25 years ago. I call bullshit. Why can't we just say that while R. Kelly WAS talented but we refuse to compensate him for "musical talent" when he is abusing the future mothers of our community? Why complicate the matter? Why continue to put money in his pockets when some of y'all have seen the video of him pissing on a young girl? Why can't we see this direct message debacle as a pattern for Tyga? Instead of looking at the girl in the situation and giving him a built in excuse, why not just say he has approached and "dated" an underage girl before and he is probably trying to do that shit again? Why blame that little girl and her mama, when the real blame belongs on the grown ass man that is sliding into her DMs trying to get her number?

And then there is Cosby. Sir, I need you to take a seat. A stadium full of seats. I mean, I don't care who you are, if 50 different people come up to me and tell me you are an asshole, guess what I think of you before we even meet? I'm supposed to give you a pass because you had a hit show in the 80s and 90s? And to all the conspiracy theorists... stop it. This is not happening to Bill Cosby because he wanted to buy NBC. This is happening to Bill Cosby because he thought he was above the law and could do whatever the hell he wanted. He has said that in the past he has given drugs to women and then proceeded to have sexual contact with them. He said it. So now that he has a capable Black woman at the helm, I'm supposed to give him the benefit of the doubt? I wonder how he would have treated her 30 years ago if she wanted to be an actor? Ewww.

Why are we so easily tricked into forgiving and forgetting? Why do "celebrities" make us lose our moral compass? Why are we caping for the villains instead of weeping for and helping the victims?

While You Were Sleeping - Harriet Tubman

It is almost 1 AM. I NOW have a day job. I was so ready to go to sleep, until I saw references to THIS:



Ok, First of all- this shit is NOT funny. At all. In any form. Second- the fact that not only were they able to find Black actors to downplay the real rapes and savagery that took place during slavery as a JOKE... AND the fact that this appeared on Russell Simmons' All Def Digital YouTube channel- is astounding. Absolutely unbelievable. Third, and here is the true tragedy, there will be more Black people who see NO problem with this video. They may even chuckle. They will not correct others who DO laugh at this. They will be silent.

Now listen, I am not one to jump on a soapbox at the drop of a hat. This blog represents my personality in small snapshots, on topics that I choose to write about. Lately, the subjects are somewhat frivolous, but this is serious. As a lover of history, I have to say... The United States has had a sordid past- that is no surprise to anyone. The history of slavery in this country (and around the world) is no laughing matter. There is no denying that some people's reality has been shaped by the atrocities of 400+ years of a horrid system of buying and selling human beings, of split up families, of beatings and rapes that took place for no other reason than having the ability to do them without repercussion. There is no denying that America, is NOT in fact, post racial anything. We have all held onto stereotypes that began in the infancy of our country-- and some of us hold those stereotypes as truth in 2013.

What I hold as truth is as follows: I will not, ever, support Russell Simmons. Not ever. The fact that he, as a Black man in America okayed this... video... shows me that he does not have my interests, or the interests of a strong Black community, in mind.

Another truth (and I have held this one for decades- I have said it before and clearly I need to say it again): I will not support entertainers, movie "stars", producers, people on the street or relatives that use the N-word. I don't care if you are Paula Deen, Paula from high school, Paula down the street or Auntie Paula- there is NO excuse for anyone to use that word. Black people kill me trying to take back hurtful words- that one in particular. And non-Black people kill me when they try to explain why they should be allowed to say it. You will not disrespect me, my momma, my community, people who have died for the cause, no matter their race or humankind in general, by uttering that word in my presence. I do not care who you are. Father so and so, Pastor so and so, rapper so and so. Listen, Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter says whatever the hell he wants and EVEN he does not say that word in front of me. If I ain't taking it from him... You surely will NOT get a pass.


The truth above all truths: I am a proud, strong, capable woman who knows the history of the country that she loves. I respect my history as a Black woman and the history of others. If I made a video about how much Jews really loved the Halocaust--how Hitler was actually a savior to the Jews he confined in the ghettos of Europe; or, how much Native Americans really loved marching the Trail of Tears and being forced to give up all they knew by outsiders who wanted more resources-- how they appreciated helping the English survive the winter on the East Coast, only to have those same people take everything that they had. If I made a video that somehow poked fun at the war crimes that are going on right now against POWs and others being held against their will. If I trivialized someone else's well noted struggle-- how would that be taken? Who would reprimand me? Someone would, right? So where is that someone NOW? Why is it that no one is standing up for the Black community when ideas like this are being thrown around the production room? Why didn't Russell Simmons see a problem with this mess BEFORE it made it to YouTube? Before there was outrage? WHERE WAS HIS OUTRAGE?? Why didn't the two Black actors in this skit say to themselves "hmm- this really is NOT funny, maybe we should try something else?" What made anyone think that this was okay? Why, when I do defend the Black community I am pegged as out of touch, or too sensitive? And for God's sake WHERE are the rest of the Black people who have a problem with this???


I am so tired of this. Here is the lesson that we (Black) people need to learn: the only way that the ills of our community can be cured is if we, as a community, stop putting up with substandard behavior from our members. We can't blame other people. We have got to nip the nonsense in the bud, all over. So that means, I have no love for Russell Simmons--- or his offspring. I don't live for making his pockets fatter. I have no love for all these rappers that are making it seem as though we are all fools who can't speak English and have thousands of babies without marriage. I have no love for the drug dealers and ridiculous petty criminals in our community. I draw the line and supporting EVERYTHING just because it is Black. Putting up with craziness is not my forte-- no matter who is bringing the crazy. People, we have GOT to expect and receive better from our own community, because I can't have another night like tonight. I can't watch another Black person acting like a fool for a few inappropriate laughs. I'm so done with this bullshit. So done.


 

Fed Up Friday - Cheaters at Work

So, it has been a while since I have posted a Fed Up Friday. Not that I haven't been fed up... I have. There has just been limited time to post AND by the time I get off work on Friday, it is technically Saturday. Fed Up Saturday just doesn't have the same ring to it, now does it?

This Friday we are gonna talk about cheaters. Before I go to work to look at all the cheaters. Listen... there is so much cheating going on at work that I am anticipating seeing the camera crew from the show 'Cheaters' in the parking lot after work. I'm not kidding. Married people seem to forget their vows at the entrance. It is crazy.

Now listen- I don't care who is doing what, with whom or where, but there are a few comments I want to make.

1- if you have small children at home (let's say 3 and under) and you are still living with their mother... and you find it necessary to have a mistress at work, you are a douchebag. If you have a WIFE at home and are currently fucking some stupid, ugly chick who works on the other side of the plant, you are an even bigger douchebag. Here is my issue: we are all grown ups. If you want to end a relationship and start another one, please do that. All it takes is a conversation. It should go something like this "hey honey- I am not really feeling "us" anymore and think that both of us should move on." It takes all of two minutes. I mean, if you are cheating already, you clearly don't care about that person's feelings so it isn't like it needs to be a long conversation, right? You give this courtesy conversation so that the other person has a chance to weigh the situation with all the facts in hand. It really is the least that you could do. Really.

2- if you feel like you HAVE to cheat,  let's all agree that the parking lot at work is NOT the place to have sex. Really. Should I even have to type that out? Two adults, both with well paying jobs... the parking lot should not even be an option. If you can't find a more suitable place then you PROBABLY shouldn't be doing whatever it is that you are doing. We are not teenagers, y'all. Find a bed, in a house or a hotel. For all our sakes. Your back will thank you... we aren't getting any younger. Plus, all of your coworkers think you're stupid sluts. Because you are.

3- if you are cheating, do not ask a newly engaged person for advice. I don't want to know what your issues are. I really don't care. In any case, no matter how persuasive you think your argument is, I am going to refer to #1. If you continue to tell me your story, I may end up telling your spouse. Because I am totally THAT type of bitch. I really think that you deserve all that you receive if you suffer from "I am sparing you feelings by NOT being honest" syndrome. Man up, asshole.

4- If you are the other woman in these "relationships" you need to be slapped. I have no special feelings for you, especially if you go into a relationship KNOWING that the man is married/taken. Hey- I am not one that is full blown, all out for the sisterhood. Most of y'all I can honestly do without, however, I have been the one that is cheated on- most of us have. And all those hurt feelings could have been avoided. It is unnecessary and not smart to be the other woman, because one day YOU will be the one at home while he is fucking that new chick in the parking lot. Also, you might need a quick check of the old self esteem if you are ok with banging some dick in the parking lot of your place of employment. I'm just saying... it doesn't say much about you. Hmmm, or maybe it does.

Let's all remember: nothing leads to you getting your ass handed to you faster than sleeping with the wrong person's significant other. Keep it in your pants!!

Sex Scandal and Penn State

I am confused. Everything that I have read has said the following:
1. there was a graduate student who saw some inappropriate behavior in a Penn State locker room, 2. the graduate student told Joe Paterno,
3. Joe Paterno (who was told that there was inapropriate behavior, but was not told the extent) told a university administrator and the Athletic Director,
4. Grand Jury = Joe Paterno told what he heard and what he did; the athletic director and administrator were asked what happened and LIED. So-- WHY is Joe Paterno's future with the school in question?

If he didn't know the full extent of the situation AND he reported it to his superiors, how is it that he has anything else to do? I have to say, I feel absolutely awful for the children involved and I personally think that child molesters have a special reservation in hell for the havoc they bring into young lives. Former coach Sandusky should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law-- there is no doubt in my mind. The assholes who lied about what happened should be too. Why would you lie about what you heard? You have two men who are saying exactly what they knew (Paterno and the grad student) and two jackasses that have nothing to gain or lose by telling the truth, who are lying. As far as I am concerned all three deserve trials, convictions and jail cells- for life.

But Joe Pa? Joe Pa took limited information, reported it and let his superiors handle to situation. I am confused as to why some don't believe that was the right thing to do. I'm confused as to what others are thinking that he could have done. A couple of months ago there was a certain Big Ten coach that lost his job because it was reported that he didn't tell his superiors about a situation (NOT a crime, a NCAA violation) and here you have a coach who actually DID tell his superiors and people are asking for him to retire too? Wow.