Fed Up Friday - Caping for the Villians

Ah, 2016. Here you are, just over a week ago some of us were ringing you in with the hopes and promises of being better people-- more awake to everything that goes on around us. Ah, some of us are liars. Horrible liars. Social media tells all. It lets us know who continues to bring the close minded bullshit from previous years to our mental doorsteps... and let me just say, there are a lot of you assholes. You haven't dropped the shit that holds you back. You still spend your day talking shit about situations/people/places you (still) don't understand. You post memes-- misspelled memes-- that espouse your ridiculous stance on whatever your cause of the hour is. Making me sick. Like, more than morning sickness... making me physically ill.  Prime example: the events of today.

Today is R. Kelly's 49th birthday. How do I know this? Because a radio station in Columbus told me so, several times. Listen, I cannot even pretend that I didn't rock to R. Kelly in the 1990s. He was everywhere and his shit was grand, hear me? Grand. One of my college roommates loved R. Kelly. In the broke days of college, when you actually had to go and purchase CDs at the store when they came out, I am not ashamed to say that I stood in line a couple times. But that, friends, was the 90s. The unnamed radio station in Columbus played some R. Kelly hits AFTER playing portions of an interview where Mr. Kelly got angry at the reporter for bringing up several past allegations of sexual abuse of minors. And THAT is why I don't fuck with R. Kelly anymore. Sexual abuse of minors. Several minors. He has a penchant for young girls. Man, what?

You know who else seems to have a thing for young girls? Some dude named Tyga. I don't know what he does, but I am guessing he is some kind of musician. He looks like a weird underfed rat. Whatevs. I guess that he has hooked up with one of the young(er) KarTRASHians, before her 18th birthday, and has been caught sending direct messages to a 14 year old on Instagram. Fourteen. He has men all up in arms talking about "that girl doesn't look 14..." Tyga claims that he contacted her because she is a musician. She says that in the direct messages he NEVER mentioned music. Uh huh.

And then there is the biggest news story in all the Black world-- Bill Cosby. Cosby is STILL in the news regarding his drugging and raping women for DECADES. Fifty plus women have come forward, with stories that are close to the same, claiming that the man who gave us The Cosby Show takes advantage of women. This week his attorney, who is a Black woman, hit the airwaves to profess his innocence- on a case by case basis it seems. She is leaving all kinds of reporters in her wake, which is impressive to some. Me, not so much, but hey lawyers have to mount a good defense for their clients, right?

Let me tell you WHY these three stories are annoying. R. Kelly is getting praise for his music and people tend to forget his shady ass past. Tyga has been given a built in excuse that the girl he is talking to through direct messages doesn't LOOK her age. Bill Cosby is given a pass because he is supposedly "America's Dad" because of a show that was on the air 25 years ago. I call bullshit. Why can't we just say that while R. Kelly WAS talented but we refuse to compensate him for "musical talent" when he is abusing the future mothers of our community? Why complicate the matter? Why continue to put money in his pockets when some of y'all have seen the video of him pissing on a young girl? Why can't we see this direct message debacle as a pattern for Tyga? Instead of looking at the girl in the situation and giving him a built in excuse, why not just say he has approached and "dated" an underage girl before and he is probably trying to do that shit again? Why blame that little girl and her mama, when the real blame belongs on the grown ass man that is sliding into her DMs trying to get her number?

And then there is Cosby. Sir, I need you to take a seat. A stadium full of seats. I mean, I don't care who you are, if 50 different people come up to me and tell me you are an asshole, guess what I think of you before we even meet? I'm supposed to give you a pass because you had a hit show in the 80s and 90s? And to all the conspiracy theorists... stop it. This is not happening to Bill Cosby because he wanted to buy NBC. This is happening to Bill Cosby because he thought he was above the law and could do whatever the hell he wanted. He has said that in the past he has given drugs to women and then proceeded to have sexual contact with them. He said it. So now that he has a capable Black woman at the helm, I'm supposed to give him the benefit of the doubt? I wonder how he would have treated her 30 years ago if she wanted to be an actor? Ewww.

Why are we so easily tricked into forgiving and forgetting? Why do "celebrities" make us lose our moral compass? Why are we caping for the villains instead of weeping for and helping the victims?

The Bill Cosby Chronicles

If you have been paying attention, you know that Bill Cosby has been accused, by upwards of 20 women, of drugging and, in some cases, raping them. The allegations started to take on steam about three weeks ago, some incidents being discussed took place 30 to 40 years ago. In these last three weeks (which seems like an eternity in this time of 24 hour news) Bill Cosby has refused to dignify these accusations with an answer. He has been silent on guilt or innocence. He has not seemed bothered by the memes, the chatter, the intentional distancing, the bad mouthing or having his honorary degrees taken away. He could not be bothered to make a statement-- except to thank Jill Scott and Whoopi Goldberg for standing up for him. He could not be bothered... until an interview that surfaced yesterday. Bill Cosby has done a (small) interview! Praise!! He took this time, not to say, "hey this shit is not true, I will see all these women in court," he didn't say "aww hell no, that did NOT happen and these people will NOT walk my law-abiding ass into the mud with them." Nope, he took THIS time to tell the "Black Media" to remain neutral on these rape allegations that are circulating. Um, sir. Are you being for real right now? Oh, you are? Because I thought that was a joke. That had to be a joke, right? Right?

You mean to tell me that you have not seen it necessary to come out the side of your mouth to SCREAM that you are innocent, but you do want to make sure that you are seen in a good light in Black Media for as long as possible? Sir. I need for you to take an IMMEDIATE seat. Not right now, but RIGHT NOW. What is wrong with this picture?

Now listen, I am certainly not going to act like I haven't held Bill Cosby in high regard-- I have and I have written about him at least three times... on this blog. I agree with his critique of the Black community. I think that there is SO much that needs to be done to help our community begin to flourish again. I think that Bill Cosby has a sincere desire to make the Black community better, more accountable, better educated and economically stable. I do. His decades of work towards that goal cannot be ignored. HOWEVER, all that work does not make up for these awful deeds that are surfacing (especially since he is not denying them). There seems to be a faction of Black people who want to excuse this behavior and feel like the media, as a whole, is out to get Cosby to get him to stop speaking the truth about race relations in America. I don't think that is happening... at all. The fact is that if, by chance, all the accolades that Cosby has gained are ripped from him, it will be no one's fault BUT HIS. I am not naive. It is not that I think that blackballing someone does not happen-- it does, but at some point Cosby is going to have to take responsibility for his role in drugging and assaulting these women.

The assault on women is REAL, and cannot, SHOULD NOT be dismissed simply because of the length of time it takes to report the crime OR who the abuser is. Women run into more problems if and when they report abuse than if they remain quiet. The way that the system works for the abused is you have to be above reproach; you have to be virginal; you have to have a spotless, sexless background in order to be believed. And if you are virginal, people will question that. You WILL be labeled a whore. Your background WILL be searched and scrutinized. You will be treated, in most cases, worse than the person who abused you. And that is what happens if your abuser is just a regular Joe, a nobody. Can you imagine the heat that these women will take for accusing Bill Cosby, America's Dad?

If Cosby did not do this, he has been a media darling... he KNOWS what he should do. If it is his contention that the allegations are false, he should get in front of those cameras and say that he did not drug and assault those women. The fact that he has not done so, makes me think that he cannot truthfully deny the allegations. And now he wants Black media to be neutral and not crucify him for these crimes. Um... where is that going to happen? That should not even be an option.

What I need from Bill is some consistency. He wants the Black community to be accountable? Cool. I want him to be accountable. He wants Black people to acknowledge their shortcomings so they can get past them? Cool. I want him to do the same. He wants Black men to pull their pants up and be about something? OK. I want him to keep his pants on and stop taking advantage of women. He wants us to look good and to fall in line. I want him to BE good-- for his community, for his legacy, FOR HIS WIFE. He is destroying all of his good works... with his silence. Be accountable, sir. Now.

Bill Cosby and Black People

This is from a few years ago, but I love him. Truth hurts and he is telling it. The Revolution is in your house!!