I Have a Serious Problem

My book addiction has gotten out of control. Honestly, it is a problem. I have books that I purchased the first week they came out and I have yet to pick up. At last count I have 150 books around the house that I have been meaning to get to. Add to that the 148 on my e-books wish list on the Columbus Library website and the 200 on my "want to read" list on Goodreads and you can see that this is completely out of control. I even have 30 books that I have started to read and have not finished. They are just on my Goodreads list... staring at me, shaking their heads in disappointment.

Now that it is officially autumn (AKA the season of cuddle up with a hot drink and a book) I have decided to read these books and clear off some shelves. Really what that means is that I am not going to buy anymore books until I read the ones I have. I can read the books I have on my shelves and sell them to our favorite used bookstore, or give them to the library and then I can ramp up my supply again. 

I am going to use this opportunity to clear out some clutter AND make better use of Goodreads. At the beginning of every new year I sign up for a book challenge on Goodreads and every year, I fail. For 2017 I pledged 60 books. I'm holding strong at 7 (just finished one!) Seven. Y'all. And Ok, those seven books don't include the books that I read to my daughter, but really, I have got to be better about carving out some time for doing the things that I love and I love to read. There are series that I have not ever wanted to read (Twilight, Harry Potter), there are genres that I have left largely unexplored (Young Adult and Sci Fi); and there are genres that I will probably continue to avoid (romance). No matter. I need to continue to expand my mind and serve as an example to my kid, so I have to make time for (my) reading. 

I have just figured out how to create a book club on Goodreads, so I think that I am going to reach out to a few of my girlfriends and see if they would be interested in having a few discussions as I wade through this ever growing list of books. If we decide to make a book club, I will definitely let you all know, until then feel free to friend me on Goodreads and hold me accountable for getting my reading life together. You can also see what I am reading on Instagram (@hotblackbitterreads). I will post a pic of the book cover so you know what I am reading. Nerd on, loves. Nerd on. 

Why Heathens Will Save the World

As a long-suffering social media addict, I am often bombarded with opinions from every side. Talking points I agree with strongly or disagree with completely. I mute stupid people; block the ultra ridiculous. Not a bad gig. As I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline, reading about the horrors of Hurricane Harvey, I came across several tweets by different folks that questioned why Joel Osteen's mega church wasn't open to shelter those that Harvey hit the hardest. After 3 days of being rightfully questioned about his motives and Christianity, Joel opened his dry stadium, er church to Houstonians. The whole concept of mega churches opening themselves up to the public brought up a couple things: 1. a conversation that hubs and I had a couple of weeks ago, 2. the thought that modern day churches don't follow the Jesus they are supposed to serve and 3. the idea that it will be heathens that save the world... c'mon and follow this logic. 

A couple of weeks ago hubs and I were gathered in our bedroom, watching the coverage of the tragedy in Charlottesville. I never tell him sappy shit like this, but my most favorite thing about our ever changing relationship is that we watch and comment on the news together. It is refreshing to have a partner that has sympathy and empathy for folks. Anyway. After Orange Julius' press conference there were many people, on both sides (ha ha) who commented "I'm a Christian and this outrages me." Business leaders and artists removed themselves from presidential councils, yet no evangelicals recused themselves. None of them were running for the door. None of them were calling the Tangerine Tyrant out on his shit. BUT guess who did call him out? That is right, heathens AKA those of us who are generally concerned about the welfare of others. 

And isn't caring about the welfare of others the job of the church? I mean, religion, at its very core, is trusting your Lord and loving your neighbor, right? I haven't reviewed ALL religions, but I have read up on a few and that tenet seems to be universal. So, I guess the real question is: when you look at the leaders of your church, do they serve as good examples? I've seen Joel Osteen in person-- at a Night of Hope in Chicago. I have purchased several of his books, but if I'm honest, I unfollowed him on Twitter when he said that the Tangerine Tyrant was a good man (because, eww, hell no). Joel is a "feel good" preacher. He smiles a lot and tells his legions of followers that our merciful God will bring them through their trials and tribulations. He says that... but is he a vehicle for those victories? Does he attempt to make it easier for his followers to turn their trials into triumph? If we use the current flooding in Houston as an example the answer is a resounding no. Once he was badgered, Osteen tweeted out his prayers for the city where he collects millions of tax free dollars every week then he put up a fundraising page on his church's website. It wasn't until us heathens shamed his ass on Twitter that he opened up his almost 17,000 seat church to those in need... TODAY. Uh, it has been raining since Friday. How very Christian of him. Oh Joel... if you know better, you are supposed to do better.

That is exactly what hubs and I talked a couple weeks ago: what is the role that the church should play in the lives of every day folks. Background: we don't live in the hood... but we are (technically) hood adjacent. So I ask hubs: "if you go to the next neighborhood over (like seriously, 1 mile away) what will you see on every other corner?" He had no idea, so I helped him out. You see a liquor store and a church. (Y'all, the truth). Presumably we know the role of the liquor store, but what role should the church play? Why are there so many? Why do there seem to be so many in failing neighborhoods? Most importantly: why do those neighborhoods continue to fail-- even if the churches are doing well? If the churches are doing well... and doing what they are supposed to do, like, I don't know, following the example of Jesus... would there still be folks in need? 

Even this heathen knows some scripture. Christians are supposed to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, take care of widows and orphans. (Matthew 25: 35-46; James 1:27) We are supposed to be examples-- the light of the world (Matt 5:14). We are supposed to follow the greatest commandment... (Matthew 22:36-40) But if we do that, why are there so many people suffering? Not just in Texas, but in the neighborhood down the street. If you give every Sunday in church... where does that money go? Who does it help? Is your church working in its neighborhood? Does your mens group serve as mentors to the young men in your neighborhood... or do they just shake their heads at the dudes on the corner? Does the ladies group at your church gossip about the pregnant girl in the back pew? Do they have weekly soup kitchen parties to feed the neighborhood's homeless? Since one of our political parties claims to be exceptionally "Christian" why do they not hold strong to the teachings of Jesus? Why does it seem like your resident heathens are the ones lighting the world with love and kindness? Food for thought.

Sexism In The City

The Tangerine Tyrant has struck again. At this point, I have to tell you, I'm not shocked at what comes out of his sick mouth. He is an asshole, and just like all assholes, he deals in shit. I expect absolute garbage to come out of his mouth. Every day. Yesterday he took to Twitter to pick a fight with Mika Brzezinski of the Morning Joe show. 

Now look, I don't really deal with the Morning Joe show. To me, they were WAY too chummy with the mango colored minstrel show during the election cycle, so I don't watch them. Supposedly the show has taken a turn now that Tangerine Tyrant is in the White House--clearly they said something that got under that clementine colored skin. Whatever was said on their show didn't warrant the response, but here we are. Again. 

Millions of people, myself included, ride 45's ass day in and day out-- because he is a political moron and has no business running our country. So why did he choose to talk shit about Mika? Because bullies know exactly who to go after. First, let's just get this out of the way: 45 does not have, nor as he ever had, respect for women. That's why he cheated on his first two wives; it is why he talks about his daughter in a sexualized manner (and allows others to do so); it is why he tells women what it would take for them to be a 10 in his eyes. He is a pig. He is emboldened by a Congress that also does not think highly of women-- that is the reason that pregnancy is a pre existing condition in the drafts of these health care bills and why men only panels are determining the care of American women. The Tangerine Tyrant picks on women because he knows that his base will back him up. And the women that voted for him? They all thought he was going to be their savior with a blond squirrel on his head, but he shows them EVERY day that he doesn't care about them, their daughters, their sisters, their mamas.

So, he knows that his base won't go against him--even the women. He knows that the useless Congress might pitch a fit the first day... and then they will go alone with whatever nonsense he puts in an Executive Order the next. They are spineless... yep Jason Chaffetz, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, we are looking at you. They won't do shit. Hell, 45 talked shit about Ted Cruz's wife TO TED'S FACE and that turd still kisses his ass. Jason said that he didn't know how he was going to tell his daughters that he supported a man like 45 after the Access Hollywood tape came out. How is that going, Jason. You comfortable supporting him now? How did that conversation go with your kids? Uh huh. They will ask him to stop (for optics) but they aren't going to do anything else. They certainly won't stand up to his demented ass. 

Mika hasn't been the only journalist that has something to say against the Clementine Colored Catastrophe... so WHY was she cherry picked for abuse? Jim Acosta has been giving his press secretary the business, nothing about his looks made it to a tweet. Anderson Cooper, Jake Tapper and Don Lemon have all taken swipes-- nothing about their faces or bodies have made it to Twitter. Why is that? You know why.

I'm from the Midwest. We are salt of the Earth people here. I learned a while ago what is right and what is wrong. Folks are on social media trying to make what y'all's president did ok. That shit is not ok. What would you do if Mika was your daughter? Would you be ok with the leader of your country objectifying your kid while a whole nation watches? Of course not. You want to know the kicker? That fucker was dead wrong, but will not ever apologize. He is not sorry and he will work tirelessly to make YOU think that an apology is owed to HIM. 

Common Sense Politics - Medical Insurance

I know, I know. You looked at the title of this entry and you immediately were like common sense and politics don't even go together... especially now-a-days, right? I disagree. While our current administration is full of clowns putting on a daily show, common sense and politics CAN go together.  Every issue has a common sense solution, something that may not be what everyone wants, but what will benefit the most people. With that in mind, let's talk health insurance.

Supposedly a big vote is going to take place on Thursday. Congress wants to try to pass that piss poor AHCA (aka American Health Care Act aka Trumpcare). Now listen, I have never made it any secret that I am not a Republican, right? That is not the reason I vehemently oppose this health care act. Simply put, I oppose the ACHA because it will hurt a lot of my fellow Americans. Almost every report that has reviewed the ACHA has said that the number of uninsured Americans will go up,  premiums will be unaffordable and insurance companies will be able to deny coverage. Before we get into this, I realize that if you are one of those people that bitch about how the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) is the worst thing to ever happen to America since us commie liberals made y'all take down the Ten Commandments from your small town courthouses... uh, you might not get what I am about to type. It is ok. I'll make it plain enough for you to get it. Yep, even you. So, let's get into it.

For the record, I have insurance through Lefty's employer. We are not covered under the ACA, nor would we be covered under ACHA. I do not see the Affordable Care Act as the end all, be all. It certainly should NOT be the end of America searching for a cure to our outlandishly high health care costs. Not even close. There ARE problems with the ACA. I appreciate it for what it is-- a beginning point. With that said, it is absolutely my belief that the ACA is beneficial to more people-- right now. I searched Twitter to see WHY people are so opposed to ACA and the top three reasons are: 1. they didn't know that the ACA and "Obamacare" are the same thing; 2. they hate that the government is "making" them get insurance and 3. they are pissed because premiums have gone up for their family. Common sense can be used to address all three of these concerns. Some of y'all are not going to like my delivery, but that won't negate the validity of the answers (so suck it up, buttercup and get ready for this truth).

To address number 1: if you are/were enrolled in and served by the ACA but didn't know that it was also called "Obamacare" you need to get your life together. I mean, you are just stupid. If you went to rallies to scream about how "Obamacare" is terrible/ruining our country/needs to be repealed and replaced, not realizing that you are covered under THAT very program you should be made to go home and only be allowed to watch CSPAN until you are able to pull your head out of your ass. You should not be allowed to mingle with the public. You're dumb and the ACA is the least of your problems. Honestly.

Number 2: if you are a true conservative, seeking smaller government, I guess I could see that you would be miffed that the big bad government is making you get medical insurance. I guess. But even if I let that slide, there are so many instances where Americans are mandated to do something. Since I own a car, I have to have insurance, right? You know why? Because if I get in a wreck someone will have to pay for property damage and physical injury. Have to have it, and if I roll the dice and choose not to get car insurance, I will have to pay the price for that. Why are people expecting health insurance to be held to a different standard? Common sense would dictate that you should have health insurance, especially since you and your family could be bankrupted by a visit to the emergency room.

Number 3: Premiums have gone up. Yep. Especially if you are young and healthy. That is how this works. The young(er) and healthier generally pay more. And from what I have read about ACHA, your premiums are going to skyrocket if that act is passed. I know that some people are convinced that their premium went up ONLY because of the ACA. You poor souls. I know. But, your premium going up has more to do with the bottom line of your insurance company, rising health care costs and rising numbers of extremely sick Americans.

Here is the deal: everyone should have health insurance. A major illness could be catastrophic for a family without insurance. I saw the bills after I gave birth to my daughter last year. Without insurance my stay in the hospital would have been $50K+ and hers would have been $20K. Seventy thousand dollars for the birth of a child. Health care costs are out of control. What SHOULD happen is: Congress (all of whom have health insurance that the American public pays for) should build upon the ACA. They should make sure that everyone can be covered-- even if they have had pre-existing conditions, the insurance should be affordable and there should be a reward for medical professionals who work efficiently while caring for patients. Is this possible? Yep. Will it be easy? Nope. But we should not allow them to skate on this. After all, I am sure that the insurance we provide them with is A+.

Fed Up Friday - Caping for the Villians

Ah, 2016. Here you are, just over a week ago some of us were ringing you in with the hopes and promises of being better people-- more awake to everything that goes on around us. Ah, some of us are liars. Horrible liars. Social media tells all. It lets us know who continues to bring the close minded bullshit from previous years to our mental doorsteps... and let me just say, there are a lot of you assholes. You haven't dropped the shit that holds you back. You still spend your day talking shit about situations/people/places you (still) don't understand. You post memes-- misspelled memes-- that espouse your ridiculous stance on whatever your cause of the hour is. Making me sick. Like, more than morning sickness... making me physically ill.  Prime example: the events of today.

Today is R. Kelly's 49th birthday. How do I know this? Because a radio station in Columbus told me so, several times. Listen, I cannot even pretend that I didn't rock to R. Kelly in the 1990s. He was everywhere and his shit was grand, hear me? Grand. One of my college roommates loved R. Kelly. In the broke days of college, when you actually had to go and purchase CDs at the store when they came out, I am not ashamed to say that I stood in line a couple times. But that, friends, was the 90s. The unnamed radio station in Columbus played some R. Kelly hits AFTER playing portions of an interview where Mr. Kelly got angry at the reporter for bringing up several past allegations of sexual abuse of minors. And THAT is why I don't fuck with R. Kelly anymore. Sexual abuse of minors. Several minors. He has a penchant for young girls. Man, what?

You know who else seems to have a thing for young girls? Some dude named Tyga. I don't know what he does, but I am guessing he is some kind of musician. He looks like a weird underfed rat. Whatevs. I guess that he has hooked up with one of the young(er) KarTRASHians, before her 18th birthday, and has been caught sending direct messages to a 14 year old on Instagram. Fourteen. He has men all up in arms talking about "that girl doesn't look 14..." Tyga claims that he contacted her because she is a musician. She says that in the direct messages he NEVER mentioned music. Uh huh.

And then there is the biggest news story in all the Black world-- Bill Cosby. Cosby is STILL in the news regarding his drugging and raping women for DECADES. Fifty plus women have come forward, with stories that are close to the same, claiming that the man who gave us The Cosby Show takes advantage of women. This week his attorney, who is a Black woman, hit the airwaves to profess his innocence- on a case by case basis it seems. She is leaving all kinds of reporters in her wake, which is impressive to some. Me, not so much, but hey lawyers have to mount a good defense for their clients, right?

Let me tell you WHY these three stories are annoying. R. Kelly is getting praise for his music and people tend to forget his shady ass past. Tyga has been given a built in excuse that the girl he is talking to through direct messages doesn't LOOK her age. Bill Cosby is given a pass because he is supposedly "America's Dad" because of a show that was on the air 25 years ago. I call bullshit. Why can't we just say that while R. Kelly WAS talented but we refuse to compensate him for "musical talent" when he is abusing the future mothers of our community? Why complicate the matter? Why continue to put money in his pockets when some of y'all have seen the video of him pissing on a young girl? Why can't we see this direct message debacle as a pattern for Tyga? Instead of looking at the girl in the situation and giving him a built in excuse, why not just say he has approached and "dated" an underage girl before and he is probably trying to do that shit again? Why blame that little girl and her mama, when the real blame belongs on the grown ass man that is sliding into her DMs trying to get her number?

And then there is Cosby. Sir, I need you to take a seat. A stadium full of seats. I mean, I don't care who you are, if 50 different people come up to me and tell me you are an asshole, guess what I think of you before we even meet? I'm supposed to give you a pass because you had a hit show in the 80s and 90s? And to all the conspiracy theorists... stop it. This is not happening to Bill Cosby because he wanted to buy NBC. This is happening to Bill Cosby because he thought he was above the law and could do whatever the hell he wanted. He has said that in the past he has given drugs to women and then proceeded to have sexual contact with them. He said it. So now that he has a capable Black woman at the helm, I'm supposed to give him the benefit of the doubt? I wonder how he would have treated her 30 years ago if she wanted to be an actor? Ewww.

Why are we so easily tricked into forgiving and forgetting? Why do "celebrities" make us lose our moral compass? Why are we caping for the villains instead of weeping for and helping the victims?

Manic Monday - Death By Social Media

Ah, weekends. Around here they are known as "catch  up on sleep days" or "have an actual conversation with your husband... two days in a row" days or, my personal favorite "let's make a list of all the shit we aren't going to get done in two days." This past weekend was a lovely mixture of all these things. I was feeling under the weather last week, so this weekend was gonna be my first few times out of the house (other than Friday's workout with momma HBB), plus we hadn't really started the garden yet, we needed groceries... you know, all that jazz. So here I was, checking Facebook on Saturday morning because... yeah, I wanted to. A bajillion things to do-- AFTER a Facebook check, right?

It was during that "quick check" on Saturday that I learned of the happenings of the night before. Picture this, a hot and muggy night in Georgia, a high school graduation and a chick off her rocker. I am sure that we all know by now that Nancy Gordeuk lost her damn mind in front of graduating seniors and their family members, calling people goobers, cowards and trying to call out Black people for leaving the graduation ceremony. After social media (primarily #BlackTwitter) completely lambasted her, she sent out a half-assed apology and appeared on her local news station. She says that the "Devil was in the house" on Friday night and "he came out of her mouth" in front of family members of the graduating seniors. That was her take in the pseudo apology. On the news she said she is NOT racist and it wasn't like she called those Black people the n-word. Ma'am. I NEED YOU TO TAKE A SEAT. IMMEDIATELY. The devil made you do it? Oh, ok.

She wasn't the only fool that died by social media in the last 72 hours. Her knucklehead son put his address on Facebook and invited people over to fight if they disagreed with his mama. He also used the n word in a subsequent post. Those posts have now been taken down. (Surprise, surprise... oh, I can guess what kind of backwoods upbringing that... youngster had.)

In addition to these shenanigans, some douchebag running for the mayor of Gahanna (a little suburb of Columbus) was taken to task about his previous social media posts. Joseph Gergley, a 26 year old special case, essentially showed his homophobic, racist side on his twitter account-- as recently as last year. When the sinister tweets were discovered, Gergley blamed it on youthful indiscretions.  Sir, what exactly did you think was going to happen when you ran for public office? Did you think that those tweets could just stay out there and never be questioned? Did you think it was funny to compare a central Ohio Walmart to Ferguson, Missouri? And you thought the voting public would be okay with that? Why exactly? Oh my, Monday, you do me so wrong. Annnnnnnd to round off the list of the top three most pathetic people of the last 72 hours, George Zimmerman was in the news today for being shot at in a road rage incident.

Listen folks, let me tell you what you should know already: if you are a horrible person in your every day life, you will get caught being a horrible person. Whether it is on twitter or in front of people who send their children to your school and in fact, pay your salary, YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT. I will never understand why people insist on being jerks AND doing it in writing or on video. Nancy yelled at a guy who was taping her. That is how this whole situation got started. So she HAD to know, before she made her super racist and unnecessary comment, that someone would see it. Gergley (who has since deleted his Twitter account) had a public page. Dude, what? I mean, I know that people are forgiving and you will (unfortunately) always have someone who will be willing to take your apology but why give them ammunition? Why put yourself in a position where you HAVE to apologize? Why not just be a stand up kind of person all the time? Too much like right? Oh, I see.

Listen: I know that not everyone agrees with my stances, political or personal. I get it. Not everyone agrees with being a liberal, the death penalty, interracial marriage, reproductive rights, feminism, civil rights, equal rights, equal pay, or pet rescue. There are people that will disagree with everything that I stand for-- and that is fine. But there is a way to say it-- especially if you are, I don't know, a principal or running for public office.  As my mother used to say (ok, she still says it to me because clearly, I need the reminder) "It is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it."  Don't put your business in the public forum, for everyone to see, and then complain when your credibility dies on social media, You did that to yourself and just like Nancy, Joseph and George, you deserve whatever the social media gods hit you with. Check yourself. We should ALL be using social media like everyone can see it... because everyone CAN.

Woman Crush Wednesday

If I am being completely honest, love bugs, I have been feeling some kind of way lately. It has been a lot of things that have kind of set me off, but just here lately, I have been super duper irritated. I know what it is. It wasn't last night's State of the Union address-- though I LOVED the extreme pettiness of it all. I actually giggled at it and live tweeted it like a sporting event. But here is when the laughs turned to extreme anger. So one a few of the memes created last night, there were some smart ass trolls who commented on the idea that women should make the same amount as a man. President Obama said in his speech that it was about time. I think that it is clearly overdue, but some neanderthals seem to think that all women, but particularly Black women, are meant to be nothing more than barefoot and pregnant in some one's kitchen.

 Besides the fact that I consider myself a feminist, I have to say that as an educated Black woman... uh, I am offended. But the offense didn't just start last night-- and the idiots from last night are not the only way that the message that women are less is passed around. There are some women that are responsible for others thinking that we are air headed, baby making machines, like almost all women on these ridiculous reality shows. Fighting, lip smacking, trifling whores who sleep with celebrities with the hopes that they will have a paycheck baby. Chicks that will put everything they have earned, including their involvement in sororities, on the line-- all for their 15 minutes of fame. Women who will get on tv, share every drop of their business and then loudly object when they feel they are being judged. Sigh.

In 2015 I really did not think that I would have to tell people that women are spectacular. I guess I didn't think that it would have to be talked about. I mistakenly thought that by now, everyone would be able to see that while a few women fit into the stereotype that you see on tv and in the news, they are not representative to women all over the country. Take me-- I am married, but I don't have children. And I am collecting a check-- for going to work every day. I do cook for my husband, but he cooks for me too and other than what you read on this blog-- I am hard pressed to make my everyday troubles fodder for prime time tv.

One of my resolutions for this year is to be a more positive example of womanhood. Right- so I know I am Hot, Black and Bitter, but I do hope that my readers know that I am not 100% bitter all the time. No one is 100% anything all of the time. I want Black girls to look at me and think "jeez she looks like me and she is happy (most of the time)." Or "she looks like me and does not need to be validated by some douche bag who is whispering sweet nothings in my ear." Or, better still "hey-- I want to be like Hot, Black and Bitter when I grow up-- an educated smart ass."  HAHAHAHA! Something like that. Essentially, I want to be the very antithesis of the video chick, reality star, ghetto hood rat that you see on the street corner, on your tv, at your school or sitting next to you in church on Sunday (wearing her club clothes, smelling like last night's drinks).

So one way I am going to be an example is to feature women here. Women who refused to sell their soul for fame. Women who made a difference. Women who took on the fight for all of us, giving us more a voice and being a light in dark tunnel. Women who helped us get where we are now. Revolutionaries. They will be my Woman Crush Wednesday. It is going to be fab. Next Wednesday... it is on. See you then.

Fed Up Friday - Ride or Die

I get so irritated when I am on social media and someone says that they are “Ride or Die” for their significant other/this week’s bestie/co-worker/sister of a friend of a friend, etc. I mean, I am glad that they feel some closeness to someone TODAY, but how long is that loyalty going to last? One month? One year? What is the life expectancy for the relationship that all these people are claiming to be "ride or die" for? Call my a cynic (right!?!) but I don't think I am going out on a limb by stating that "ride or die" for every relationship you have is just not feasible.  I rarely use that turn of phrase because I feel like the overuse lessens the meaning. I can’t lie—there is a group of people that I am ride or die for… my immediate family. Honey, listen: don’t come for my family. You will not like the fallout. There are a LOT of us and I live and breathe and for those folks. They get on my nerves sometimes… but they are supposed to, we are family. I want to punch them sometimes (and have a couple times)… but that is ok, we are family. I can talk about them ALL day and you might even be able to co-sign my objections… but you BET NOT (better not) even think of throwing in your own two cents. Dude, that is my family you talking about. And when you talk about them, thems fighting words to me.

Case and point: Y’all know that I head to my brother’s basketball games whenever I can. He is a freshman in college and he is adorable. I have not introduced the kiddos on the blog, so let's just call this brother Superman. So Superman had a close mid week game and I was able to finagle my way to leaving work an hour early so I could make it down there to watch. Super excited. Rode down the highway with my favorite guy-- Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter. Night was off to a fantastic start. Until we sat down. Now listen, I know that some people really get into seeing their children play sports, and can sometimes be a little... much at sporting events. Oh, but Wednesday night, it was not a parent, it was a drunk ass student. 

The amount of deep breathing that I had to do when he was screaming when my brother was on the court cannot measured. Cannot be measured because I am sure that I may have sucked up all the oxygen in that gym. I was trying hard not to say anything while he was woo hoo hooing it up the ENTIRE game, and while he did not really heckle my brother, per se, he was taking too much joy in heckling a court full of 18 year old kids who were playing their hearts out. The overprotective sister just LEAPT out of me, y'all. I could not help it. Totally a case of bad impulse control. I can admit it. I called his ass out. I flipped him the bird. Unapologetic. Sorry, not sorry style. His friends were telling him to be quiet and amazingly with three minutes left in the game, it was silent. Thankfully. And I told my father that if he was talking shit about my brother, the exchange would have been even more heated. Trust that.  

Here is the thing-- I am loyal, the epitome of ride or die. I am loyal to my family and to the people that my family counts as friends (until they show that they deserve no loyalty). That extends to sports teams, lab partners, tutors. I don't care. I know people heckle to get under the skin of the opposing team. To get in their minds, make them second guess that last pass, that last field goal attempt. I get it. I swear I do. But check this out, these are KIDS. Superman turned 18 after he started college. Kids. This ain't the Knicks and you have no money riding on this game. Our team wasn't jawing it up on the court and the parents who were there were not acting out of line. If you come to a basketball game, drunk and decide that you are going to try to dog my brother and his new found family, you have me to contend with. If you are representing a school that purports to exhibit "values that include integrity, service, simplicity, equality, peace and social justice and respect for all persons" and the "distinctive values of the "Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)" um, I am definitely going to correct you when you get out of line. If there are small children sitting right behind me and you are showing your ass, I will get you in line. And if you come for my brother... BABY... I am coming right at you, guns blazing, straight for the jugular, my friend. Don't do that. Save thyself! I am Ride or Die up in here!! Here is hoping that there is better behavior tomorrow at the game. I might get put out. LOL 

The Bill Cosby Chronicles

If you have been paying attention, you know that Bill Cosby has been accused, by upwards of 20 women, of drugging and, in some cases, raping them. The allegations started to take on steam about three weeks ago, some incidents being discussed took place 30 to 40 years ago. In these last three weeks (which seems like an eternity in this time of 24 hour news) Bill Cosby has refused to dignify these accusations with an answer. He has been silent on guilt or innocence. He has not seemed bothered by the memes, the chatter, the intentional distancing, the bad mouthing or having his honorary degrees taken away. He could not be bothered to make a statement-- except to thank Jill Scott and Whoopi Goldberg for standing up for him. He could not be bothered... until an interview that surfaced yesterday. Bill Cosby has done a (small) interview! Praise!! He took this time, not to say, "hey this shit is not true, I will see all these women in court," he didn't say "aww hell no, that did NOT happen and these people will NOT walk my law-abiding ass into the mud with them." Nope, he took THIS time to tell the "Black Media" to remain neutral on these rape allegations that are circulating. Um, sir. Are you being for real right now? Oh, you are? Because I thought that was a joke. That had to be a joke, right? Right?

You mean to tell me that you have not seen it necessary to come out the side of your mouth to SCREAM that you are innocent, but you do want to make sure that you are seen in a good light in Black Media for as long as possible? Sir. I need for you to take an IMMEDIATE seat. Not right now, but RIGHT NOW. What is wrong with this picture?

Now listen, I am certainly not going to act like I haven't held Bill Cosby in high regard-- I have and I have written about him at least three times... on this blog. I agree with his critique of the Black community. I think that there is SO much that needs to be done to help our community begin to flourish again. I think that Bill Cosby has a sincere desire to make the Black community better, more accountable, better educated and economically stable. I do. His decades of work towards that goal cannot be ignored. HOWEVER, all that work does not make up for these awful deeds that are surfacing (especially since he is not denying them). There seems to be a faction of Black people who want to excuse this behavior and feel like the media, as a whole, is out to get Cosby to get him to stop speaking the truth about race relations in America. I don't think that is happening... at all. The fact is that if, by chance, all the accolades that Cosby has gained are ripped from him, it will be no one's fault BUT HIS. I am not naive. It is not that I think that blackballing someone does not happen-- it does, but at some point Cosby is going to have to take responsibility for his role in drugging and assaulting these women.

The assault on women is REAL, and cannot, SHOULD NOT be dismissed simply because of the length of time it takes to report the crime OR who the abuser is. Women run into more problems if and when they report abuse than if they remain quiet. The way that the system works for the abused is you have to be above reproach; you have to be virginal; you have to have a spotless, sexless background in order to be believed. And if you are virginal, people will question that. You WILL be labeled a whore. Your background WILL be searched and scrutinized. You will be treated, in most cases, worse than the person who abused you. And that is what happens if your abuser is just a regular Joe, a nobody. Can you imagine the heat that these women will take for accusing Bill Cosby, America's Dad?

If Cosby did not do this, he has been a media darling... he KNOWS what he should do. If it is his contention that the allegations are false, he should get in front of those cameras and say that he did not drug and assault those women. The fact that he has not done so, makes me think that he cannot truthfully deny the allegations. And now he wants Black media to be neutral and not crucify him for these crimes. Um... where is that going to happen? That should not even be an option.

What I need from Bill is some consistency. He wants the Black community to be accountable? Cool. I want him to be accountable. He wants Black people to acknowledge their shortcomings so they can get past them? Cool. I want him to do the same. He wants Black men to pull their pants up and be about something? OK. I want him to keep his pants on and stop taking advantage of women. He wants us to look good and to fall in line. I want him to BE good-- for his community, for his legacy, FOR HIS WIFE. He is destroying all of his good works... with his silence. Be accountable, sir. Now.