Kirk Franklin Owes His SON An Apology

So hey! What’s up? What’s been good? How y’all doing? It has been a while. Who me? Oh, I have just been dealing with this global pandemic bullshit… you know, keeping my ass at home, washing my hands, wearing my mask and waiting on the distribution of these vaccines and stimulus checks. But that is another blog post for another day because Y’ALL I have been on these interwebs and the tea is just overflowing my mug, darlings. 

Now I am generally a little late to the party on breaking news. I see it, read the details and keep it moving. So, this weekend I was just surfing, like I do, and I saw the now infamous video of the “conversation” that Kirk Franklin had with his son. That shit was not a conversation- it was some bullshit and little Kirk Franklin needs to put on his big boy pants and apologize to his son. Now look, I know that I am in the minority here, but I am going to go ahead and explain how I got to this RIGHT answer. Ok? Here we go:

First, I am going to put this in the context of my life. I am a parent and I have parents. My kid and I have a good relationship and my parents and I rock with each other… tough! I love them. They live down the street and we speak at least three times a week (sometimes three times a day). I know what y’all see on this blog, but believe it or not, I don’t curse in front of my parents and I am NOT disrespectful. Never will be. I was raised with respect and I give respect. Just like that. I know me, right? So when there has ever been a problem, I (as quickly as I can) remove myself from the situation. Why? Mostly because my mouth is too slick. I know that once you say shit, you can’t take it back. So if I KNOW I can’t rein in my tongue (and attitude) I just don’t say shit. I am raising a daughter and I don’t want her to have any sort of complex because of the relationship that she has with me. It really is that simple. 

Now, Kirk Franklin- who made a few Jesus songs- is getting a pass for saying that he would “break his foot off in his son’s ass” and that he would “break his son’s neck.” Then he was screaming the N word at the top of his lungs like he was talking to a stranger that just stepped on his new church shoes. Sir. Ma’am. First of all, if y’all have read any of my posts you know I am not giving not one pass to the evangelicals, singers, preachers, YouTubers, authors, cousins, aunties, uncles, friends or acquaintances. I am NOT giving a pass to anyone, friends. You come out in the public, acting like an asshole, and I may comment on it. It is a chance you take. Kirk Franklin ain’t getting a pass, I don’t care how many melodies from heaven renditions he sings. What he did was wrong. That is no way to speak to your children. And let me just add, too many of y’all out here excusing those threats because you have been threatened like that before. Just because it happened to YOU and you survived does not mean that is A1 parenting and that you should do the same to your children. And if you mad, get a cape and be super mad. Stop spreading dysfunction. PERIOD. 

Back to Kirk, do y'all know that he came out with a rebuttal video where that little asshole had the absolute nerve to come out and apologize TO THE PUBLIC but didn’t have it in his short statured body to apologize to his son. What??

His son is a whole grown man and if he has questionable behavior maybe, just maybe, that is how he taught himself to be while little ol’ Kirk was spending the days and hours of his formative years running these streets addicted to porn. <SHADE> Maybe the son models his adult life after the life he saw Kirk living when he was growing up. Don’t come for me- I remember the controversies from before some of y’all were alive. Your children are people. Trust me- they will get on your last good nerve. They do. I’m not saying don’t discipline them. I’m not saying to raise disrespectful ingrates. But you, as the parent, need to lead by example. If you would apologize to the public for losing your temper because it is going to affect your bankroll… you should be man enough to apologize to your flesh and blood for treating them like shit and threatening them. And if you don’t want to apologize,WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. If your children never see you apologize, or they never experience you apologizing to them for bad behavior, you are willingly raising children who will not apologize when they should. You are not raising well rounded kids. You are failing your children. Stop that bullshit ASAP. It is not healthy.

Now unclutch those pearls, ma’am, throw on some church music and get ready for the comeback of Hot, Black and Bitter. 

As For Me and My House...

It has been a while! Last year I was telling y'all how fucked up my high school was and how I was permanently putting them on the "pay them no mind" list and now... we have a worldwide pandemic on our hands. 2020 has been a ride of clusterfuckery (is that a word? Did I just make up a new word? Y'all check Urban Dictionary and add my shit... and give me credit! Ha!) All that to say, a lot has changed in the last four months. Today marks my family's 21st day of lockdown. Twenty one long ass days, yo! Last day of school for Little Lady K was March 12, hubs has been going to his doctor appointments and we have been getting groceries about once a week. That's it. Your girl is taking lots of deep breaths and drinking more, if I'm being honest. Central Ohio weather hasn't really been cooperating, either. Having a three year old in the house ALL day is... challenging. I'll save those stories for the mommy blog but y'all will NOT guilt me over extended screen time, ok. Don't try me, bitches. But, as for me and MY house... we will remain on lockdown until further notice.

It is getting close to 2PM. In a few minutes my Governor, Mike DeWine is going to have his daily news conference about Ohio's pandemic numbers. He is also going to talk about (and probably prohibit) Church gatherings for the foreseeable future. Now listen, I am always the first to laugh and joke and call myself a heathen on these internet streets. I call myself a heathen in front of my parents (mostly because they know, like nobody else, that it is true), but the truth of the matter is: me and Jesus have a relationship. We go together. He knows my heart. We talk. I grew up in the Church; was a Deacon's kid; got baptized and led our Bible trivia team to victory several years (in a row). I know the Word. I just cuss a little bit. Ok... a lot. I cuss a lot.

Back to DeWine (this lockdown makes my mind wander). So, it is my understanding that churches have seen what is going on during this worldwide pandemic and have been like... "Jesus saves; God will protect; y'all better be in these pews on Sunday." Sir. Ma'am. WHAT?!? Now listen: as noted above, I have been to church. A LOT. Fellowship is important. It helps you navigate this thing called life, BUT... ain't no way y'all should be gathering together on Sundays and breathing on one another. What is wrong with y'all? The state of Ohio isn't letting us have funerals or gatherings of more than 10 people and y'all trying to come together for full services on Sundays? You know what is more important than being around people you not so secretly talk about every day EXCEPT Sunday? Breathing.

Jesus gave us all discernment. He gave some of us wisdom. He gave most of us this thing called the internet. The only way churches should be getting together for services is over a lifestream. Stop endangering your parishioners. Stop being stupid and blaming it on God. Use some common sense and stay at home.

Why Heathens Will Save the World

As a long-suffering social media addict, I am often bombarded with opinions from every side. Talking points I agree with strongly or disagree with completely. I mute stupid people; block the ultra ridiculous. Not a bad gig. As I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline, reading about the horrors of Hurricane Harvey, I came across several tweets by different folks that questioned why Joel Osteen's mega church wasn't open to shelter those that Harvey hit the hardest. After 3 days of being rightfully questioned about his motives and Christianity, Joel opened his dry stadium, er church to Houstonians. The whole concept of mega churches opening themselves up to the public brought up a couple things: 1. a conversation that hubs and I had a couple of weeks ago, 2. the thought that modern day churches don't follow the Jesus they are supposed to serve and 3. the idea that it will be heathens that save the world... c'mon and follow this logic. 

A couple of weeks ago hubs and I were gathered in our bedroom, watching the coverage of the tragedy in Charlottesville. I never tell him sappy shit like this, but my most favorite thing about our ever changing relationship is that we watch and comment on the news together. It is refreshing to have a partner that has sympathy and empathy for folks. Anyway. After Orange Julius' press conference there were many people, on both sides (ha ha) who commented "I'm a Christian and this outrages me." Business leaders and artists removed themselves from presidential councils, yet no evangelicals recused themselves. None of them were running for the door. None of them were calling the Tangerine Tyrant out on his shit. BUT guess who did call him out? That is right, heathens AKA those of us who are generally concerned about the welfare of others. 

And isn't caring about the welfare of others the job of the church? I mean, religion, at its very core, is trusting your Lord and loving your neighbor, right? I haven't reviewed ALL religions, but I have read up on a few and that tenet seems to be universal. So, I guess the real question is: when you look at the leaders of your church, do they serve as good examples? I've seen Joel Osteen in person-- at a Night of Hope in Chicago. I have purchased several of his books, but if I'm honest, I unfollowed him on Twitter when he said that the Tangerine Tyrant was a good man (because, eww, hell no). Joel is a "feel good" preacher. He smiles a lot and tells his legions of followers that our merciful God will bring them through their trials and tribulations. He says that... but is he a vehicle for those victories? Does he attempt to make it easier for his followers to turn their trials into triumph? If we use the current flooding in Houston as an example the answer is a resounding no. Once he was badgered, Osteen tweeted out his prayers for the city where he collects millions of tax free dollars every week then he put up a fundraising page on his church's website. It wasn't until us heathens shamed his ass on Twitter that he opened up his almost 17,000 seat church to those in need... TODAY. Uh, it has been raining since Friday. How very Christian of him. Oh Joel... if you know better, you are supposed to do better.

That is exactly what hubs and I talked a couple weeks ago: what is the role that the church should play in the lives of every day folks. Background: we don't live in the hood... but we are (technically) hood adjacent. So I ask hubs: "if you go to the next neighborhood over (like seriously, 1 mile away) what will you see on every other corner?" He had no idea, so I helped him out. You see a liquor store and a church. (Y'all, the truth). Presumably we know the role of the liquor store, but what role should the church play? Why are there so many? Why do there seem to be so many in failing neighborhoods? Most importantly: why do those neighborhoods continue to fail-- even if the churches are doing well? If the churches are doing well... and doing what they are supposed to do, like, I don't know, following the example of Jesus... would there still be folks in need? 

Even this heathen knows some scripture. Christians are supposed to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, take care of widows and orphans. (Matthew 25: 35-46; James 1:27) We are supposed to be examples-- the light of the world (Matt 5:14). We are supposed to follow the greatest commandment... (Matthew 22:36-40) But if we do that, why are there so many people suffering? Not just in Texas, but in the neighborhood down the street. If you give every Sunday in church... where does that money go? Who does it help? Is your church working in its neighborhood? Does your mens group serve as mentors to the young men in your neighborhood... or do they just shake their heads at the dudes on the corner? Does the ladies group at your church gossip about the pregnant girl in the back pew? Do they have weekly soup kitchen parties to feed the neighborhood's homeless? Since one of our political parties claims to be exceptionally "Christian" why do they not hold strong to the teachings of Jesus? Why does it seem like your resident heathens are the ones lighting the world with love and kindness? Food for thought.

Fed Up - "Christians"

Tis the season, or so I've been told-- repeatedly. My facebook page has been bombarded with little sayings like "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" and the like, so I think that I should attack discuss how some "Christians" that operate today... and the problems that I have with them. What?! She attacks discusses Christians? Oh yes, yes I do. And if you find my... analysis overly burdensome, I am probably talking about you.

I think that I have written about this before, but just in case it is in an entry that you skipped reading... I have a real problem with holier than thou people. Right? I don't like it when people use what they learn on Sundays to 1. look down on others and 2. somehow erase all the bad things that they have done, but not the sins of their neighbor. I hate when people use scripture to back up backward thinking that allows them to always be right, always be special, always be who everyone should look forward to becoming because they magically do no wrong. Now, I joke around a LOT. I talk shit... clearly, by the looks of this blog, I have no problem talking about people if the circumstances call for it. But here is the difference: I know that I'm not flawless. So when I see "churches" that are supposed to be teaching the love and grace of the same God that I worship using the same scriptures that I identify with as guidelines for my religion to limit the lives of people who are different than them... I tend to take it personally.

Needs some examples? There is a "church" in Kentucky that has voted to BAN interracial couples in their services. I could have totally missed this scripture in the Bible, so I am gonna ask: huh, where did Jesus tell them that worship services had to be segregated? I am so confused. Do white people have a different God that they pray to? Would an interracial couple in the crowd limit God from listening to their prayers? Is this 1945? I guess I am not welcome there... because I would TOTALLY walk in with the hottest white guy I know on my arm and proudly announce that we were there to serve the Lord. I'm good like that! ;)

We all know about the Westboro Baptist "church" and their shenanigans. Where in the Bible does it say that picketing the funerals of service men and women with absolutely reckless signs is in God's plan? Where did Jesus say love thy neighbor EXCEPT if he or she serves in the military for YOUR freedom... then go ahead and tell them that they are going to Hell? Was I sleeping the church service where we learned about that? Absent? Sick? I'm pretty sure I wasn't. Where is the Bible does it say that name calling should be used to add more members to the flock? Westboro uses the "F" word to describe homosexuals-- is that sanctioned by Jesus? When did he say that was ok? I mean, I need to know, so I need someone to educate me... since Jesus is the Reason for the Season and all. I need to make sure I am properly handling myself this holiday season.  

I guess that my point is: If Jesus really is the reason for season, shouldn't churches be looking to do all that they can to bring people together? Isn't this the time to drop church politics and get as many people as possible in the door to tell them about why you are happy where you are and how Jesus (the reason for the season) got you there? Isn't it of the utmost importance that churches be the best example of what Christianity is NOW, in order to bring people into the church so that we can ALL celebrate the reason for the season? I could totally be wrong, but I think we are supposed to be lighting the way and leading by example... not crucifying our neighbors for what we perceive as sin. I might be a lot of things... I might think very highly of myself but I can tell you something-- I know my limitations. I know that just like my neighbors screw up, so do I. Just like my neighbors curse, fight and act an ass-- so do I (mostly on this blog). I know that sometimes I just need a break, a kind word, a smile, a non crazy person interaction... just like those around me. So how about this-- no matter what God you pray (or don't pray) to... how about we use this season to be a little nicer and spread a little cheer? Let's make it less about what we want to get and more about what we can give to those who don't have. Let's make a pact to put a smile on someone's face and leave the bitterness to the winds here in Chicago... and ME! :)

Happy Holiday Season--