That Slap Tho

 I have slept on it, took my kiddo to school and had my coffee and I am still unable to give Will Smith a pass for that fuckery that he did at the Oscars. Just in case you didn’t watch, or have somehow avoided all the think pieces on it: Will Smith walked up on stage, in the middle of the Oscars, and slapped Chris Rock who was presenting the Oscar for Best Documentary. Y’all. Keeping it 100, I was not watching the Oscars. I don’t generally like the show and I feel like it is a popularity contest that lacks diversity. So, I first saw the mentions of it on Twitter. Then a friend sent me an Instagram DM. I went and saw the video and all I can tell you is my mouth DROPPED open. Like most people, I thought it was a skit… until Will Smith started shouting profanities from his seat. What the hell?! 

There are several reasons why I will NOT applaud Will Smith’s behavior, the first of which is: absolute wrong time, wrong place for that nonsense. Period. Now, I have already said that I don’t watch the Oscars so it isn’t like I have undying respect for the program, however, when I was growing up my parents had one main rule: “don’t leave this house and embarrass our family.” Will Smith embarrassed himself, lessened his own Oscar moment, and demolished the Oscar moment that Questlove should have had and for what? Because he didn’t like a joke? Is he 53 or 5? Are you telling me that a cheesy ass joke by a presenter was harsh enough for Will Smith to mar his own award ceremony? Is this real life? 

The second reason I was appalled by Will Smith’s behavior is that what he did last night is, in no way, “protecting” his wife. On that front, Jada is the one who often puts their business out on the social media streets. Chris Rock was not the only host/presenter who commented on the Smiths, but he was the only one that got slapped. Slapping Chris Rock does what for Jada? Does it make Chris Rock NOT want to clown them again? No. I am sure that if the gathering was not the Oscars, Chris Rock would have busted both of them down relentlessly. If he wanted to take the spotlight off Jada and her bald head, he clearly didn’t do that either since all of us are writing, tweeting and making videos about the situation today. How is slapping someone on live television “protecting” your wife? Protecting her from what? Cheesy jokes? Will could have, just as easily, STAYED IN HIS FUCKING SEAT and yelled that Chris wasn’t funny, since he ended up yelling anyway. He could have heckled Chris. Hell, he SHOULD have met him backstage after that segment and whispered in his ear on some “I don’t appreciate my wife being the butt of your jokes, let’s not have to have this conversation again” Soprano type shit. He could have done one hundred other things besides putting his hands on someone on live TV.

Finally, I spend my days teaching my child that hitting is wrong. She is five. FIVE and she has already been told too many times that little boys who hit her just “do that because they like you so much”. I think the fuck not. Hitting someone to show affection to that person (or someone else) is wrong. Physically assaulting Chris Rock was NOT the answer last night. Now look, if Will and Chris were at Will’s house and Chris was going on and on about how much of a bitch Jada was… hands. All day. If they were on the street and Will was talking about fucking Chris’ wife… hands. All day. If one of those men grabbed and abused the other’s wife… muthafucking HANDS. All day. But a joke about a bald head? Nah fam. It is very much giving that Will thought it was funny but noticed that Jada didn’t think so, so he had to go play Billy Bad Ass. Nope. That is not self defense or defense of others. That is showing the world that you have zero control over yourself and your household. Get yourself to a therapist’s office and talk that out. 

End of the day: Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock on a show that was being televised internationally. For what amounted to nothing. He should be embarrassed and ashamed to have displayed that behavior in public. And now everytime anyone mentions his Oscar win, they will then tell the story of how Will ASSAULTED a presenter at the same ceremony. I really should not have to continue to tell grown people to KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.