Sunday, May 04, 2014

Race Recap - Hall of Fame Half Marathon

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls-- let me tell you why my legs are so sore. I was a fool who thought I could make it straight through; 13.1 miles without passing out-- next time I say some shit like that, hot me in the MOUTH.

Kidding, slightly. On April 27, Lefty and I woke up at the butt crack of dawn; I slathered Body Glide on my thighs so I would not start a friction fire on the streets of Canton and we were off. It was cold- like 37 degrees cold. Where does that happen? Northern Ohio, my friends. There was a horrible backup at the fairgrounds (parking), I didn't think we would make it to the starting line in time... but we did, JUST in time. We stood around, hugged up until the announcement that the race was starting. Lefty snapped a couples of pics and then the race started.

I have to say-- I wanted to quit about a mile and a half in; I didn't train on asphalt because I wasn't training outside much during the winter. My shins were killing me, I was breathing like a person having an asthma attack and I was getting passed by the elderly. Seriously, someone's grandmother passed me at mile marker #2. And I wanted to trip her. For real.

Once I made it to mile three though, I was determined to make it. I mean, I had done just about a 5K and I wasn't dead... yet. When things got rough or hilly, I walked. I have no shame. Who the hell knew that Canton was so hilly? Lefty called it the San Francisco of Ohio and I have to say-- I freaking agree. So do my thighs (did not catch anything on fire, yeah me!) Y'all listen, that shit was rough. I really don't know how else to say it. It has taken me this long to write about it and I have to admit that I was hobbling around for at least four days. There were points in the race when Lefty would come meet me-- and that was wonderful. There were times when I had to have an internal conversation with myself to keep going... and there were times when it was all I could do to turn up my music and put one foot in front of the other. But I did it. I had 4 hours to finish it and I finished in less than 4 hours.

Just as a parting thought: why the hell do they have photographers at races? I mean, I don't care who you are, you are not going to look nice at any point, covered in sweat and breathing like a freaking fish out of water. I have seen the proofs-- I will definitely NOT be purchasing that shit. I look like a sweaty, black oompa loompa. With a hat. No.Thank.You. They took my picture at the finish line. Grrrr. I could barely breathe but I did hear the song blasting in my ears from my iPod... It was "I've Had The Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. I can assure you that I.DID.NOT. But I will be doing it again next year. With a faster time. Because I am clearly a glutton for punishment :)

What I felt like when I saw the finish line (thank God for my Lefty):

Here are some pics for your enjoyment.

Finish Line the day before.

 Representing THIS blog, always

How did I feel after the race? I felt like this: 

Let's get after it!! 


Jon Daniels said...

You're better than me... for now. Congratulations, big homie!

Miss Mox said...

Thank you!! My body has finally bounced back. You know, I can walk now without a hobble! LOL

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