Wednesday, September 10, 2014

What Happens in the Dark...

So for the past two days I have (happily) been avoiding writing about Ray Rice and his caught on video domestic violence. A lot of thoughts have crossed my mind regarding his less than stellar behavior and the type of person that it takes to defend those actions (simply put, if you found a way to defend him, you and I will NEVER be friends... and that is the nicest thing I can say about you). I have written several posts about what I think of domestic violence and the perpetrators of that violence. One of my posts on the subject can be found here.

Honestly, I was not going to say anything- I shared a couple of Facebook articles about the story and said I was happy he lost his job (because I am), but nothing... you know, specifically Hot, Black and Bitter for the fans. Ah, but then I got caught up on all the stupidity on social media surrounding Rice and his wife, and now here I am, typing up a storm. Why? Because I am truly

Let me start out by saying I have a rule: grown folks need to keep their hands to themselves. At all times. There is not ever going to be something said that would justify putting your hands on someone else. If you find yourself in a situation where you are thinking of striking someone, make no mistake, your own stupidity and pride keeps you in that position, not the words or deeds of the other person. Defense of one's self is one thing. If someone is hitting you and you have to hit them back so you can walk away-- I am all for that. I'm all for making it out of a situation alive. What I am not here for is the idea that I could say something that could make ANYONE feel like I should be knocked unconscious and then dragged out of an elevator like a life-sized bag of Jasmine rice. That is inappropriate. Inappropriate and there is no excuse. Hell, I tell my little siblings to use their words- not their hands. If kids under the age of 10 can grasp that concept, why is it so hard for grown ups? 

Then there are the bandwagon fans who are like: "that man should not have lost his job for hitting his wife." Excuse me?  I was actually told that he should not lose his ability to perfect his "craft". People have LOST.THEIR.MINDS. Listen- we, as a society, have GOT to stop glorifying athletes. They get paid to play a game. Their ability (or non-ability) to play that game will not make them good people. It doesn't mean that they are not criminals. It doesn't mean that they have a built in excuse to get out of trouble. The fact that I have to type that shows that people need to get their minds right. The fact that you can take a ball and put it in a net, the end zone, the outfield, the goal... yeah, not a get out of jail free card. Far from it-- those bums should be held to a higher standard, because we are ALL paying them. Ticket prices, gear, shoes, buying products from sponsors, endorsements, etc. We are ALL making them rich. We, as the public, should be collectively outraged that someone that WE pay participates in domestic violence. NO PASS. EVER. 

I was listening to Sports Radio on the way to work and someone called in to say that Ray should sue the NFL because they are essentially hitting him with double jeopardy. Someone else remarked that his wife seems to have forgiven him so we should too. Others have said that the punishment doesn't fit the crime, etc. Let me make a few points, before I close. 1- Ray Rice is serving out this suspension while keeping a $25 million salary-- he is still walking away with money, yet another reason I have absolutely NO sympathy for him. Also, uh, he can get a job. He was not rendered disabled. They haven't taken away his ability to work-- he just won't be able to have his PREFERRED job... like many of the rest of around here. No sympathy.  2- I don't think for one minute that Ray Rice married that woman for love, and I don't think she married him for love either-- call me a cynic. They were married after the attack and married people cannot be compelled to testify against one another... and unmarried people don't get half if there is a breakup, but they do get half if there is a divorce. 3- Ray Rice cannot sue the NFL and he shouldn't. Are you kidding me? He deserves a lifetime ban for the actions in that video. Roger Goodell saw that video, in February, I have no doubt. In fact, I think that Ray and Roger probably watched it together, in Roger's office, over a couple of scotches (because they are both assholes). 4- That video was NOT the first time (and I am sure that it will not be the last) that Ray Rice hit that woman. Her friends and family need to use this time to embrace her, get her away from him and get her some counseling. ASAP. I am not even going to type a response to her critique of the media's handling of the release of the tape... because I truly believe that she is the victim here and I will not victimize her again with, what would be, a scathing review of her comments.

If you, or someone you know, is involved in an abusive relationship, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline and get some help, 1.800.799.7233. Someone will miss you if you are gone. 


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