Me and My Ego :)

Take this for what it is... the truth! :)

I have questioned myself in the past and I am sure that I will do so again, but at the end of the day- I am comfortable in my own skin. This skin I wear every day is flawed. It hasn't been perfect for some time, and I am more than ok with that. I have scars from sports; life; love. I breathe in the mistakes that I made and I live with them every day. I look back on the life I have had thus far and there are just a few things that I mildly regret and there is nothing that I would change. I truly love who I am, who I have become because of heartaches/life lessons/missteps. I cherish each muscle, every scratch, every dimple (where did those come from?), gray hair (yep they are here), even every piece of evidence of overindulgence (most of that is located in my midsection).

I am truthful with myself, for the most part. I know what I offer and the weaknesses that no one else knows about, keep me company at night. I know where I should have given up and where I should have pressed the envelope just a BIT more. I am content with my all or nothing state of mind. I give and love with all that I have and have walked away brokenhearted many times. I have picked myself up more times than anyone knows. Battered and broken, I keep getting up. I keep looking life in the face and fighting like hell... isn't that what it is all about? Fighting the good fight every day? Living a life so full that you almost *burst*? Learning from mistakes and coming back a second, third, however many times, even more determined? I have met some people who have given up. They have lost. I refuse to lose. I was born to conquer. Conquer life and make it mine. And I will. I am.

I am fully aware how I come off to some people and mostly those thoughts make me shrug my shoulders- because I don't care. As Beyonce says "You can leave with me or you can have the blues. Some call it arrogant, I call it confident. You decide when you find out what I'm working with." I know what I am am working with- and while I can improve, like everyone else, I have a ton to offer. Self doubt is fleeting in this head of mine. This big smile, with a few missing teeth, is a fixture on my caramel colored face. I know that this sometimes scattered mind, with the help of these soft, often lotioned hands and short muscular legs, will lead me where I am supposed to go. Oh, this flawed body of mine is going to make it! This heart, my heart, will be broken again. It will get stepped on. Sometimes the blood that it pumps will be sad, or lazy, or unemployed- but it will keep pumping, and I will keep moving, breathing, learning, functioning...living.

Sometimes I want to be at my final destination right NOW. I want the place that I see in my head (the place where I am the boss and get what I want- HA) right now... but I know that when everything falls in line I will get there. I have visions of blue skies, not a cloud in sight, sunshine, angels singing, me on a throne... oh, wait- damn that ego strikes again. LOL

The point of this entry is: I am going places. I am a sight to see, a woman to fear/admire/bribe/love... a force to be reckoned with. Often times too strong, too much, too tough. I talk like this 'cause I can back it up! ;)

Happy Friday.

Election Fights and more silliness

I believe that this is the most important election in the History of America.  I am not typing that because it has become the "press release" for both parties. I am not typing it because it sounds good, or because no matter who takes office, some historical feat will be laid to rest. I am saying that this election is the most important in American history because I have lost "friends" because of my stance on this election.  Before going forward, I should say that I know I will not lose any REAL friends over my political beliefs, so this entry is simply about how ridiculous people are being, not about hurt feelings or friend loss.  Nothing contained here has adversely affected me, but I do find it amusing, therefore worthy of a mention.

So, the first "friend" that I lost was MB. MB and I were friends on a social networking site. He is convinced that Barack Obama is a terrorist and part of the so called Chicago machine- both of which he left on my "page" on this social networking site.  I, being the lovely instigator that I am, disagreed with him AND challenged him to give me some facts. Unable to do that, he decided to call me immature for commenting on Bristol Palin, and also told me that I was drinking Barack's "kool-aid"... Needless to say, he was so upset and his little feelings were so hurt that he "de-friended" me. I have to admit that I laughed. Since the de-friending MB has sent me a couple of messages to my personal email address, to which I have of course said that if he wants to share views with me he can do it on my wall, in the open, where everyone can see. If not, there really is no reason to send me anything... so he sends me nothing!

Another "friend" that I lost was MV. Same social website. MV was bold... what happens with bold men? I give them a chance to be bold, then shatter the dream. MV was no different. He left me a message, where all of my friends on the site could see. It said: "lets give lazy people welfare check j. no way in hell should obama become president!!... you have disturbed a republican." That is it... I edited my name out, but you get his point.  He then goes on to say that Obama is a Muslim with terrorist connects (his exact words), Obama voters are scavengers, and that this is not a robin hood movie (talking about this 'redistribution' of wealth that John McCain is harping on...). Now, let's see... could we see that this was about to get ugly? Yeah. I could see it coming.  Again, this took place on my wall. Everyone can see it, so I have to respond... and I did. It was not fun for MV.  I don't care if you disagree with me... well, I do, but you better be able to back your statements up- especially if they are public.  So here is what went down. I challenged MV, of course! How do you know that Obama is a muslim? Does it matter? (Of course not) Has Obama actually told you about some mass 'redistribution' or are you just repeating what you heard at a McCain rally?  How am I a scavenger? Show me, tell me, Explain to me... What did I get? Nothing. I pointed out some things in my manner... which is not always nice and he didn't like it. I believe that the last thing he wrote was that I lost a caring, intelligent and trustworthy friend. Really? Did I? I don't think so. I think that he lost an argument and he can't handle it. Here's the deal: All I want it for my friends to vote. I have tons of friends who are Republicans... just like I have friends who are Michigan fans. Do I make fun of them? YES. Do they deserve it? YES. Does that mean that I want them to mirror me exactly? NO.

I think that voting is important, even if you don't vote for my guy. BUT before you come to me and bring me some crazy nonsense about why I should vote for your person, be able to EXPLAIN to me why you are voting for that person. Simple enough, right? Don't tell me some stupid shit like you are voting for Barack because he is Black... that is absurd. At least have some portion of policy that you agree with, not just his skin color. Don't tell me that you are voting for McCain because he is a vet. Tell me something else that excites you about his policy and what he brings to the table.  Be able to articulate why you favor your party, politician, etc. Not just some rhetoric that you heard on a commercial. We have the power to choose who is going to lead this country out of what can be said to be deplorable conditions.  I think we owe it to ourselves to be informed. 

And for those two young men, MB and MV, perfect those debating skills before you challenge a credible foe. I like to make boys cry! :)