The Self Esteem Battle- Fed Up Friday

Chicago did, in deed, get snowed in during #snOMG 2011. During the time that twenty one inches of cold, white, fluffy stuff was blowing all over my neighborhood, I got to indulge in some internet news overload. During my review of the latest and greatest news in the entertainment world, I came across this headline: "Method Man Doesn't Like Natural Hair." Hmm, that can't be right, I thought to myself as I twisted my natural hair between my fingers. I read the article and already knew that no matter how that shit came out of his mouth, it was going to be a wrap for him in my mind-- and it is.

Essentially what he said (he has said that he was joking- and the video has been removed from YouTube) when asked if he liked natural hair was: "No. I don't like peasy afros, sorry. I don't like dreads either. I like a woman to get her hair did." This fool... SMH. Ok, just so I put it out there- I could give two shits if Method Man (aka Clifford Smith) likes MY natural hair. In fact, I could give less than two shits. Clifford is totally not relevant in my life, he pays no bills at this casa, and trust me what he dislikes, someone else LOVES and that is all that matters. Clifford is known for what? Smoking weed and acting like a dumb ass? And now I should care that for some reason my natural hair is not his thing? Yeah- he totally is not my flavor, so I am going to take Clifford's comments to mean that we are not a match made in heaven-- and trust me, I am ALL too good with that. I am disturbed by his comments (especially since he has daughters), but I am even more intellectually displaced by some of the conversations that took place after his comments became public.

If you didn't know, the natural hair community is fairly large (and ever growing). If you YouTube "Natural hair care" you will have thousands of videos detailing regimens that may be helpful on your natural hair journey. All of these women seem to be filled with self love and helpfulness. Now, however, Clifford's ridiculous comments have some in the natural hair community all in arms-- with each other. I read more than a few comments that said what I have said on several occasions: opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one; I don't like Clifford, so I don't care if he likes me, etc. But then some of these "women" lost their damn minds. I cannot tell you how many times I read: "He fine so, I still like him." Bitch, what? Ignorant statements like that make me want to go on a profanity laced tirade. Some man has CLEARLY stated that he doesn't like something that you find valuable; something that helps define you and you let that slide because... he is fine?

Grrr- first of all- Clifford is NOT fine. Let's just put that out there. Secondly- where the hell is your self love? It is 2011, and you will continue to support someone (Clifford depends on the public buying his albums and going to his movies- all of us- even the ones with 'fros and dreads) who publicly denounces something that you think is important? Wow. Let me put it to you like this: if Eddie Vedder, Prince or any of my other (numerous) musical crushes said that they wanted me to get my "hair did" I would laugh in their face, give them a few choice words and refuse to buy their music- ever. Trust me- it would be hard because I LOVE their music, but I love the person that I am more. The things that I think are valuable are with me always, they help define who I am, they make up my whole persona. And that girl isn't going to say "oh, but that man is so fine, that he can say whatever he wants, however he wants and I am just gonna take." Um, no. My money pays you and your insensitivity will be checked... HARD and IMMEDIATELY.

You don't like the way I wear my hair? Cool. I don't like the way you look? Cool. You want to put all these afro wearing ladies on blast? Fine... just don't come looking for us the next time you drop an album, Clifford. At least not me... those "ladies" who will support you because you are "fine" after you tell them that their afro is peasy (unattractive) deserve whatever other degrading words you have for them. They deserve more lyrics like "I'm not above smacking a bitch's teeth down their throats"; "these big butt bitches get they ass kicked"; "Hell yeah I gotta have them verses and them hooks, plus a little money off the books, and a playboy bunny that can cook"; "Bitch we both want some, you got titties and ass, but I got dick and some cash, you ain't talking bout shit then Imma bout to smash, bitch. On three, on me, bitch you my property." ... Fine my ass- those lyrics should make you uncomfortable. Even without his latest ignorance, those lyrics should already make you NOT support him. "Ladies" are you listening? Because he is putting it out there for you to hear in almost every song.

Ladies: Do better; demand better. What you accept is all that you will ever get.

Clifford: I hope that you get it together... Natural is beautiful. Relaxed is beautiful. Some ladies have enough self image issues without your help... Thanks.