Not Bothered On Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, my lovelies. Today I plan on hanging with my little family (hubs has the day off) and hopefully squeezing in a nap next to my very active toddler. That is all I want... nothing extravagant, just some lunch and a nap. It is the simple things, my friends. It is the simple things. 

I know that this is a rough day for some folks and I kind of want to address that. When I was single, I had a group of friends who could lead a "fuck Valentine's Day" parade. One year we ordered in and watched the same show, while talking to each other on the phone. Another year we went out the night before Valentine's and celebrated singleness. We found some comfort at the bottom of several shot glasses. Good times. But during all of those single years there was only one year where I really felt BAD about being single. One year out of 40, not bad. How does one make it to spinsterhood without feeling extremely rejected by everyone? Oh, I am so glad you asked!! 

There are three reasons why Valentine's Day never brought out a hot, Black and depressed chick... 1. I have always had a Valentine (Papa Hot, Black and Bitter). 2. Single is not forever. 3. NO matter what station you are at in life, trust me... someone wants what you have. 

The first two reasons why I was unbothered on Valentine's Day as a single are pretty self explanatory, but that third one is a doozy. Rest assured that on your worst day there is someone who would pay good money to be where you are. If being single is the worst thing that is going on in your life-- you have it made in the shade (mostly because number 2 is so very true-- single is not forever). Let's use me as an example. I am super comfortable with where I am in life right now. Shit is good. Life, for me, has been good. So, that one year when I really was down in the dumps on Valentine's Day... there was someone who would have felt lucky to be in my shoes. I think that is the case for almost all of us. While some of us are lamenting our single status, someone in a loveless relationship is wishing for carefree single days. When someone is at their wit's end with a toddler (and trust me, those days are REAL), there is someone WISHING for sweet times with a sweet baby. When there is someone bored to tears in a marriage, there is someone  who is craving the comfort of your routine. 

What you are looking for is coming. The person you are looking for is coming. But until they get to you... go out with your friends, have a couple drinks, buy yourself flowers, have a girl's weekend. Get your ass out there and have some fun. Happy Valentine's Day. 

Valentine's Day Recap

Why has it taken me so long to post this? My house has an infant crawling around... and I have been under-caffeinated, but never fear... I am back!! 

Here is a shocker: I don't really DO Valentine's Day. SURPRISE!! I mean, I get the "day of love" idea and I don't want to minimize whatever it means to other folks, but it has never really been my thing. I have always had a Valentine. And I realize how ridiculously pompous THAT sounds, but stick with me here. I have always had a Valentine because my DAD has always been my Valentine. He is so cute and has always made sure to wish my sister and I a Happy Valentine's Day for as long as I can remember-- didn't matter if we were dating someone or single. Not for nothing, but there is something to be said a father's involvement in the life of his daughter. I grew up expecting certain things from the men I dated... but that is for another blog entry. 

Now I have three built in Valentines-- my dad, Lefty and Baby K. Lefty is super sweet and complete "gets" that I am not really a Valentine's Day kind girl. He gave me exactly what I wanted this year-- an extended nap, candy and lunch. Yep, I am totally that girl. He did also get me some flowers, and Cat Knapp spent the week thinking of how he could eat said blooms without getting caught (which is the reason I don't really do flowers). The nap? BEST.PRESENT.EVER. I felt like a new woman. Between that and the present that my dad dropped off, I might be able to be human again... on a semi-regular basis. 

Baby K and I have been in deep conversations about her sleep schedule, or lack thereof. This conversation has been going on for 3 months. During these 3 months, mama has been... testy, to say the very least. The week before Valentine's Day I went into my kitchen to start my second carafe of coffee and the noise that came out of my coffeemaker was something out of a horror film. Needless to say, I was none too pleased and posted a Facebook status saying exactly that. Note: that coffeemaker died the week after Valentine's Day, so that makes the next paragraph even MORE beautiful.

Welp, on Valentine's Day Papa Hot, Black and Bitter sent me a text in the wee hours of the morning (like 7:45 or so) and of course Baby K and I were awake. He said that he had my Valentine Cup O' Joe and he would be over shortly. I thought that he got me a cup of coffee (and a donut because... uh, I'm phat like that- LOL). Baby K and I went into our library and waited for Pops to pull up. Y'all... look what my first and forever Valentine got me. 

Between Papa Hot, Black and Bitter and Lefty I am the luckiest girl in the world. Be jealous.

Valentine's Day Panic!!

So, the day is upon us. The day that single and involved people can do without equally. The singles- me included- can't go anywhere by ourselves without being stared at by googly eyed couples. They unknowingly (sometimes) give us a pity look and whisper to their significant other "Oh, look honey, s/he is alone." We get to watch you make out and hold hands, all sorts of lovely PDA for 24 hours (puke)... I mean, how exciting for you! :) The couples are always trying to do enough to make the partner happy, but not as much as Christmas or birthday. I mean, it is relatively early in the year... you can't front load the romantic holidays and come with all the bells and whistles in February, right?
I received an email asking what I suggest for a Valentine's Day present. I am not sure why this person asked ME, since I am single, but I will tell you what I would personally do. I have written about this before, the most intimate thing that I give my friends, family, whomever is music. I'm telling you, even if it sounds corny, music moves my soul. I generally tell people how I feel through some nice musically selections. Happy, sad, pissed off, whatever-- if you are in my life, I have a playlist for you! Please know that! The guy that this post is about, has a personal playlist on my YouTube channel and I have to say, it is not flattering! Whatever, music is my coping mechanism. So, it seems simple to me that on top of whatever I had planned for Valentine's Day (dinner, outing, flowers, etc) music would be involved somehow.
In this email, the writer did not tell me what kind of Valentine's Day celebration he is planning, but he did say that he likes Soulful Saturdays, so I will try to keep the music relatively current and try to cover all the basis with enough songs to fill up a couple CDs-- just in case you need to be hands free on the music front... :) Clearly, this list is in NO way exhaustive... My all time top 5 romantic songs are listed at the very bottom, and some songs that should be included are:
**So you should check out ALL of the Soulful Saturdays... all of those artists are a great place to start- so I will not mention them in the post.
**No mix CD is complete without Prince. Seriously, don't even try it. Despite popular opinion, not all of his songs are about sex. He is wonderful with love songs. The man is a musical genius, not to be surpassed-- and the sexiest 52 year old around! Check out: Call My Name, Morning Papers, Do Me, Baby (ok that is about sex), Insatiable, Damn U, I hate U, The Most Beautiful Girl In the World, Nothing Compares 2 U... the list goes on.

**Proposing? Try these songs out:
Amazed- Lonestar; I turn to You- Christina Aguliera; You Were Meant For Me- Jewel; I'll Be- Edwin McCain; Everything I Do- Bryan Adams; Always and Forever- Heatwave; I can love you Like that- All 4 One; Tonight I Celebrate My Love- Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson

Need to apologize? Try: Nobody Knows- Tony Rich Project; If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time- RKelly; When Can I See You Again?- Babyface (ok- truly anything by Babyface- he is amazing); More Than Words- Extreme; Anytime- Brian McKnight; How Do I Live- Trisha Yearwood Version; A House is Not A Home (Luther-- he is so bad I don't even need to put his last name!)

Need some grown up time? My One and Only Love- John Coltrane; Moments In Love- The Art of Noise; Come Inside- Intro; Two Occasions- The Deele; Intimate- Coming Of Age; Between The Sheets- The Isley Brothers; The Closer I get To You- Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway; Sexual Healing (Of Course)- Marvin Gaye

Romance: Somebody Loves You Babe- Patti LaBelle; Open Arms- Mariah Carey; Sweet Thing- Kwame; I Need Love- LL Cool J; Thank You For Loving Me- Bon Jovi; November Rain- Guns n Roses; Wicked Game- Chris Issac; True Colors- Cyndi Lauper; Your Song- Elton John; You're Still The One- Shania Twain; She's Like the Wind- Patrick Swayze (RIP); Kiss From A Rose- Seal; Bring It Home to Me- Sam Cooke (and Marc Broussard has a great remake) and finally-- almost any version of MY FUNNY VALENTINE

My Top 5 Songs... In No Particular Order
- Unchained Melody- Righteous Brothers
- When A Man Loves A Woman- Percy Sledge
- Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
- Just Breathe- Pearl Jam
- Adore- Prince (seriously- listen to those lyrics... "If God one day struck me blind, your beauty I'd still see... Love is too weak to define, just what you mean to me"-- That is some GREAT stuff right there.)