Come In From the Cold- Marc Broussard

April 27... Come In From the Cold

Key Lyrics:

* "Tell me every fear that you keeps you from this love of mine. Leave it all behind, lay by my side, I'll shelter you."

* "I've been hurt, just like you. I know how hard it is to give your love away, but baby it's safe; I'm warm..."

* "Love's the only way to heal a heart that love has wronged."

Chicago Street Violence, the National Guard and Jody Weis

I am angry. Somehow no one is ever shocked when I say that. Sometimes I mislabel my disappointment as anger, but this time, really, I am angry. The reason is this: I live in the best city in the nation (save your breath, no one will convince me otherwise) and this beautiful city is going to the dogs (read: the dregs of society).

It is not even Memorial Day weekend; the weather has not even been consistently hot and already the number of shootings and fatalities is staggering. Staggering to me at least. Last week, a 20 month old baby girl was sitting in a car with her sisters and she was shot to death by a coward that supposedly had some beef with her father. Two weeks ago, a 14 year old was shot on his way to school- he will now be paralyzed for life. Three weeks ago almost 30 were shot in a 24 hour period, and 17 of those people lost their lives. If you watch the news, both morning AND evening, the first 15 minutes are filled with whole neighborhoods being stifled by the sounds of gunshots; the stench of death still heavy from the prior nights victims; family members screaming in the streets over the still warm bodies of their fallen loved ones. It is awful and I, for one, am sick of it.

The most upsetting part of this whole ridiculous cycle is: if anyone else is sick of it- I can't tell. Mayor Daley keeps defiantly standing by his ban on law abiding citizens owning handguns, all the while criminals have them, and quite obviously use them. That combined with what I saw on the news last night makes me think that those in charge are going to sit back and allow violence to engulf this fabulous city like the flames of the Great Fire.

If you have read any of my blog entries, you are aware that Chicago, in fact the whole state of Illinois, is damn near broke. Our financial legs have been shaky since I moved here 5 years ago and every year it gets worse. One way that the city is remedying this budget shortfall is to not hire anymore police officers (NOT smart). On top of that brilliant move- note the sarcasm- Chicago "top cop" who seems as bright as former President Bush, was on the news last night saying that he doesn't see bringing in the National Guard for more protection in the city of Chicago as a viable choice for us. Um, why not?

It can't be because he is doing such a bang up job (pun intended). It can't be because we don't need it- because surely the whole month of April has shown that we need more help in order to slow some of this violence. Could it be Weis does not want to bring in the National Guard because he doesn't want his job to be in jeopardy? He doesn't want to admit defeat? He doesn't care about the communities that are affected? I say yes on all accounts. If Weis has to utilize the National Guard to put the brakes on Chicago street violence then he has to look at the (non) job that he is doing and admit that he can't handle this city. If Weis lived in Englewood, Roseland, Rogers Park, Humboldt Park, Chatham or countless other neighborhoods where crime is high and violence is an every day occurrence would he be more likely to put the pedal to the metal on this National Guard initiative? I would venture to say yes. When you get to leave the ghetto and go back to a cushy neighborhood where your life, and the life of your children are not in danger, it really is easy to say we don't need the National Guards help.

Well, I live on the far south side of Chicago, close to some of the above named neighborhoods and guess what? The law abiding, unprotected citizens NEED help. We either need more good police (which isn't going to happen) or we need a presence that will win back our streets. With budget cut backs we are losing community resources and social programs. People are unemployed in record numbers (within the city of Chicago it is still above 11%) and with no education, that number might be high for a while. So no money, no job, nothing to do all day...what do we expect when thousands more people are on the street after school dismisses for the summer?? If there have been 113 murders since January 1, what will that number reflect by the middle of the summer? 113- and that is when most people are cooped up for the winter. See, the knowledge that violent crime goes up when it is warm, and the economy being what it is right now, and Jody being so set on not getting help, made me have a Kanye West moment last night, and I emphatically repeat my statement: "Jody Weis does not care about Black people, nor does he care about the city of Chicago." If he did, he would do all that he could to make sure that violent crime did not take over this fantastic city...even if that meant he had to call in the National Guard.

Big Ben Roethlisberger, Roger Goodell and the NFL Draft

**warning: much like all of my blog entries this one will be biased. You do not have to agree with what I say, especially re: Big Ben (and most of you won't)... But seeing that I am from Ohio and I graduated from Miami University, what did you expect? :)**

Yesterday, Roger Goodell, Commishioner of the NFL released his punishment for Big Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Essentially Big Ben will be suspended, without pay, for 6 games for conduct unbecoming a football player. Hmmmm. What exactly is conduct unbecoming a football player? What does the commish want to get out of this punishment?

I guess this is the point of the blog where I say that this punishment is completely ridiculous... Ok, I said it. Big Ben is guilty of being a dumb ass, but that should not mean that he has to lose $2.8 million dollars during the season, while sitting the bench. Rape is serious, please don't think that I am disputing that. IF Ben raped that girl, he would deserve SO much more than a 6 game suspension and if it were proven that he did rape her (or anyone else) I would be first in line volunteering to punch him in the balls. BUT... Charges will not be filed, in fact, the victim does not want to press charges. That seems suspect AND he loses pay for 6 games? I am concerned.

I read the statement that was released. I have issue with the fact that the same victim has pics from that night where she is standing next to Ben, smiling; that she was able to bar hop at all- she is 20 years old; more importantly... Her girlfriends stood by and watched her be led away in a crowded club to a back room?? WTF? Ok- we all have known people with fake ids (20 year old bar hopping), and we have all been friendly with some shady people (smiling pic), but letting your gf be led away to be mishandled? That is so not happening in my group of friends. My girls would rather cock block than to have something untoward happen to me or any other member of our group. Then after being traumatized, dropping the charges and failing to want to prosecute does not make me believe this chick. There is just something so shady about this situation... But even though there is shadiness, Big Ben (BB) still gets suspended? That leads me to my second question: what does Goodell think he is gonna get out of this punishment?

My conclusion? He is setting an example. In the 4 years since Goodell has taken office, he has suspended 6 or 7 guys and fined Bill Belicheck if I remember correctly. He has had a lot to deal with. Looking back at the NFL controversies that I remember, even before Goodell took office- Rae Carruth, Chris Henry (RIP), OJ, Donte Stallworth, Maurice Clarett (grrrr), Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson, Pacman Jones, Mike Doss and the creep- Michael Vick. Even super sexy Ray Lewis has been in trouble. I name them to make the point that Goodell indeed does have a hard job, keeping charge of little boys, with little minds and big bodies. But does that mean the he should choose BB to be his prime example? I don't think so, but he has. The creep (mv) lied directly to Goodell's sweet face, served time in jail and he still has a job. The NFL is still making money on the back of that man. BB is serving a sentence for a crime that has not been proven and will not be persued. That seems unfair...so does trading Santonio Holmes for a freaking 5th round draft pick. So, is Goodell trying to make the NFL a league of role models or is he trying to make sure the freshmen football players understand that they will be dealt with harshly? I think it is the latter and the Pittsburgh Steelers are unhappy victims.

Moral of the story:
* BB- stop thinking with that little head. Every chick is not worth it. Stop embarrassing the state of Ohio and the athletic department of Miami University. Essentially, stop being a schmuck.

** GA girl: stop bar hopping underage. If BB assaulted you, prosecute his sorry ass. If he did not assault you, shame on you.

** Goodell: relax a little bit. Punish those who deserve it, and take on the idea of our court system: innocent until proven guilty.

** Freshmen players: watch your back. Bad behavior will not be tolerated (not a bad thing) and the look of anything inappropriate will get you in trouble too... Walk that tightrope very carefully boys. :)

Miss Mox

Successful Black Women and Marriage. Is it possible?

I am 30-something. I am Black...and up until two years ago, I could have been considered slightly successful. :) Do those three things ensure that I will remain single? After watching this lovely Nightline special, it seems that the answer to that question is yes.

What is the reason that all these successful Black women will remain single in such high numbers (there is an estimate that says as many as 70% of educated Black women will remain unmarried)? I argue that there is more than one reason. Some classics that I have heard are: we are too argumentative, too proud, too picky, we don't know how to let men be men, we are non accepting and (my favorite) we are so unattractive that even our own Black men do not want us.

To all of the above excuses I say: are you f*cking kidding me?? Really? Here are my answers to the above. Argumentative, proud and picky: damn right I am! Absolutely. Let me say this- I did not put myself through college so I could put up w dating a man (of any color) who does not meet my standards. I am smart; my mate will be also. He will have a real job... He will (probably) be educated and we will have things in common. So? That is not a bad list. That list does not make me a bitch- that is me requesting a mirror image of myself. And guess what? I deserve that. I didn't work hard so that I can get married and lose half my shit to a deadbeat- no matter who it is. And don't worry yourself- I am an elitist with everyone- across the board- if you don't have what I want, I will not be interested long. Side note: if we've dated and it was less than a year- you did not posses what I wanted. Sad, but true!

Not letting men be men... As far as I can see, more men need lessons on being men, not just big boys. I have no problem being led- IF I have a good leader. I have no issue relinquishing control, if the person with the reins knows what he is doing. I just cannot find a man who knows what he is doing. Being a man does not mean you are able to produce children; it means that you are able to support them. Being a man does not mean that you are able to make money illegally; it means that you are able to make a legal living and use it to live within your means and take care of your family. Being a man does not mean that you 'bed' every woman who looks good to you or looks at you or feigns interest in you, it means that you actively look for A (as in one) woman that you could actually have something with and sleep with her (and only her). Lastly, being a man does not mean that you take all that unhappy baggage from your LAST relationship into your NEW relationship; it means that you learn from past mistakes and grow from them. There are many reasons why the men that I have dated are not exactly marriage material- and it isn't because I spend my time emasculating them. Maybe they had lacking examples of what a man should be and are therefore struggling with how to be a good man themselves.

Am I demanding? Damn right! I've earned the right to be. Does that mean that I am unbending? Absolutely not. Relationships are about give and take. I know that. I didn't make it 30-something years and not learn a few things. I love men. Manly men. Someone who completes the person I am- as corny as that sounds! Great personality and a good heart is what I am looking for. That and a great education... Like myself. I don't apologize for that, even if it means that I remain unmarried. I WILL NOT settle so that I can be married. Do I want to be married- absolutely. Am I willing to change what I am looking for? Nope. I can tweek my list but I ain't throwing it out the window completely!!

As far as the unattractive thing... Please, I'm HOT, so we all know that point is moot! ;)

What do you see as the outstanding reason why so many Black women are unmarried? Do you care? Comment or email- let me know! :)

Soulful Saturday #3

Today's list would not be complete without a Sade selection. When I was growing up, my parents (luckily) listened to great music. My sister and I were exceptionally blessed because we had parents who were young, hip but not trendy per se. They didn't listen to crap :) And now, I am following in their footsteps and listening to good music. We have actually seen Patti LaBelle in concert a couple of time- she puts on a sweet show!! I wish that we saw Sade- because she has sounded great for as long as I can remember... Soldier of Love is no exception. Sidenote: she has looked this phenomenal for as long as I remember also- gotta find out what that secret is!! :)

Key Lyrics:

* I've been torn up inside/ I've been left behind/ So I ride/ I have the will to survive

* I know that love will come/ Turn it all around/ I'm a soldier of love

Soulful Saturday, #2

Melissa Etheridge is awesome. Yep, I love her. Her voice is mesmerizing and can pick me from the lowest depths. Isn't that the purpose of music? I hope so!! Such passion, such...perfection- before and after her battle with cancer. A-MA-ZING.

Key Lyrics:

* I'm the only one who'd walk across the fire for you. And I'm the only one who'd drown in my desire for you. It's only fear that makes you run, the demons that you're hiding from. When all your promises are gone- I'm the only one.

* Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away. You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you down today.

Soulful Saturday

Raises to the CPS Brass? How is THAT possible?

I am a news whore. That should be of no surprise to anyone. I watch it all- Liberal, Conservative, Empathetic, Infuriating- whatever. I follow the news all day long. I am "that" friend that will know what has happened before anyone else. I pride myself on it. I LOVE it. If I am shocked by some news, I better had been in a coma because I am addicted to my Blackberry and news on the computer, which I sit in front of almost all day. So, when I read the following on my BlackBerry screen early this morning, I thought I was hallucinating. I turned on the local news and there it was again- no hallucinating on my part... cue the anger. Seriously, rage and it was way more than what I feel just because I haven't had my morning coffee. I.am.pissed.

What has me in a pissed off mood? If you ask the right person, he might say "everything" (lol) but the following had my face go to "the look" this morning: "Amid Cuts, CPS Brass to Get Raises." WTF???? I did some investigation (I am good for that) and here is what I found: The Director of Sports will get a $6K raise, the CPS spokesperson will get a 17% raise and the CEO will get a 13% raise. There are several reasons why I am pissed about this. In no particular order:

1. just over a month ago CPS CEO Ron Huberman said that Chicago Public Schools were facing a $1BILLION deficit. But he can get a raise? With this bump in salary, he will be getting paid $230K, to lead a broke school district? Damn, I need that job!

2. The Director of Sports is getting a raise?? Really? Because last month CPS removed all sophomore sports from schools. So, let me get this right: the number of sports available to students DEcreases and the guy in charge of sports for the school district gets an INcrease in salary. Wow.

3. I don't know what the spokesperson for the school district does. I mean, is it her job to deny all things that go on in schools and say "no comment" when people get hurt or there is a lawsuit? If so, again, I would love to have that job- for $130K. None of the 3 people getting a raise are in the classroom dealing with students all day; none of them look students in the face and tell them that their favorite teacher is being fired, or that they won't be able to participate in sports. Nope, the people getting the raises have the cushy jobs and hand down the hard verdicts.

4. I don't think that ANYONE in charge of CPS should get a raise until the graduation rates for CPS students increase. In 2006 only 52.2% of all students enrolled in CPS graduated. That is like an F-. That year CPS was the third largest school district in the country and had the best graduation rate out of the largest 5 school districts, but that is not saying much. (The 5 largest school districts are: NYC, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami-Dade County and Broward County.) So, for an F- the people in charge get paid more money??

5. Definitely not the least of the problems that CPS is dealing with: teachers are getting laid off. Are you kidding me? Who the hell thought that THIS was the proper time to hand out raises? Why doesn't Ron Huberman give his raise to save the salary of one teacher? OMG, all three of them could give their salary increases to save jobs. If every one of them is making more than 100K wouldn't it make sense to forego the raise for THIS year? Wouldn't that be the proper thing to do in a district where everyone is suffering? Nope- that would obviously be too much like right.

If I ever (mistakenly) have children :), they will never, ever go to a CPS school. I will take out a second mortgage on my house (in the hood- with the terrible neighbors) or sell it all together for a private school education. I don't have any children in CPS, and it sincerely burns me up to see my tax dollars being spent so irresponsibly- especially during an economic time when EVERYone should be concerned with efficient/productive use of funds. Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous? Can't be! Email me or comment and let me know your thoughts.

Miss Mox

Michelle Branch - "Goodbye To You" Live Acoustic

Remember this song?
It has made a reappearance in my playlist since a couple things have happened. Amazing song and it sounds even better in this rendition.

Key Lyrics:

"Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You're the one I loved- the one thing that I tried to hold onto."

"And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you, but I'm not giving in this time."

"You're my shooting star."

Miss Mox

Marvin Gaye - Inner City Blues (Hughes Brothers Video)

I have been thinking about the state of the United States a lot lately and I heard the Marc Broussard remake of this Marvin Gaye song and everything was understood to a different degree. Amazing that this song was released in 1971 and now in 2010 it is still very relevant. All lyrics are below... see if you see a connection with life today.

Dah, dah, dah, dah
dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Rockets, moon shots
Spend it on the have nots
Money, we make it
Fore we see it you take it
Oh, make you wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
This ain't livin', This ain't livin'
No, no baby, this ain't livin'
No, no, no
Inflation no chance
To increase finance
Bills pile up sky high
Send that boy off to die
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Hang ups, let downs
Bad breaks, set backs
Natural fact is
I can't pay my taxes
Oh, make me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Yea, it makes me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Crime is increasing
Trigger happy policing
Panic is spreading
God know where we're heading
Oh, make me wanna holler
They don't understand
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Mother, mother
Everybody thinks we're wrong
Who are they to judge us
Simply cause we wear our hair long

St. Patrick's Day Discrimination

Relax… the title is only half deceiving! I am not going to write about the type of discrimination that you are thinking of- not in this post. Now that that is out of the way, I do have to preface this piece with a couple of very important statements: 1. I LOVE, love, love St. Patrick’s Day. I love the sense of community at the events; love learning new things and as many of my friends can attest, I happen to really love Irish men! 2. I love the city that I live in. Chicago is a wonderful, beautiful city and although I complain about the politics and my neighbors (because they are garbage can stealing douche bags- I digress), I wouldn’t trade Chicago for anything right now. I bought a house here, my (limited) social life is here and there is always something to do, see, or complain about! Seriously, I love this city. I could have chosen to live anywhere… With that said: How pissed am I (and a few thousand others) that the South Side of Chicago no longer has a St. Patty’s Day Parade?? In a word: VERY.

Here is the deal with the south side: we get treated like the red headed step child (all apologies to red headed step children reading this). We don’t get grocery stores like the north side, we don’t have baseball groupies like the north side (that is actually a good thing) and we don’t get the amenities of the north side- the el stops at 95th street, but the city extends to 132nd Street, our bus routes are the first to get cut, and out Metra stations need some serious refurbishment. Add to that scenario, the organizers of the parade, who were backed by the city, decided that there would be no south side parade because of excessive public drunkenness and lewd behavior. Hmmmmmm…W.T.F????? What exactly happens at ALL St. Patrick Day Parades? Including the one downtown? Ah yes, I believe there is a pub crawl or two. I believe that there are always a few lost, drunk souls. I believe that as long as there are people who will gather outside in sub 40 degree weather, dressed in green concoctions, shaking shamrocks in your face and drinking green beer at obscenely early hours, someone is going to be drunk. SO.WHAT???? I will throw in the following sentence because I am not (repeat NOT) a fan of the northside baseball team- Wrigley is a walking talking pub crawl- every home game- always. And you know what doesn’t happen? They don’t cancel home games. Hell, those raunchy fans are hardly reigned in. Yet, one day a year the south side cannot have a parade????

I am miffed, discouraged, and all around disgruntled. When will we get some equality on the South Side??? Now I will sound like a cubs fan… Maybe next year.

Miss Mox

Loyalty to your company??

I just read this story, and I am seriously questioning the logic of this blurb. While I do believe that loyalty to the company that you work for is up, I think that it is out of necessity. I, like most people I know, are so excited to have a job- any job- that loyalty to the company we work for is a no brainer. We aren’t going to bite the hand that feeds us. I won’t, and I have been known to be a biter (ok, I was 2 and I am sure I was defending myself!)
As a temporary employee, I can say that I am excited about having a job in this market; the ability to pay bills makes me happy, and I want to do a good job, so that I will be invited back as much as possible. Does that make me loyal to this company, or loyal to my responsibilities? That remains to be seen.

Orianthi - According To You

So- the lesson of the day... What you hate, the next man will love. Appreciate the person that loves you because when she leaves the hole left behind will be shockingly disturbing to your life. You will never know exactly how much you cared, until she is gone.for good. Watch what you say and do- karma is always right.around.the.corner...

Key Lyrics:

"According to him, I'm beautiful, incredible. He can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible. Everything he ever wanted...
"Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it. So baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not- according to you..."

Chicago: Good News, Bad News

Hello, City of Chicago! :) Forbes magazine and I have good news and bad news...

GOOD news: the city that we all know and most of us love have moved down on the 'most miserable' city list. In 2008, Chicago was ranked #3 in the nation... Hmmm, the third most miserable city in the whole nation. Not sure how much I actually believe that. Rankings were based on weather (now I see!), violent crime, job availability, etc.
So, the amazingly good news is- we aren't #3 anymore.

Bad news? Yeah... Chicago is still on the list! (Boooo). In 2009, Chicago was ranked #10 (hey, it's an improvement!) on the most miserable cities. Same criteria, just 7 spots down the list. And the #1 most miserable city? The midwest seems to reign supreme on this list because the #1 city is Cleveland, Ohio. For all my Ohio readers from central Ohio, just repeat after me: it.is.not.Columbus! :)

The Chicago Strong Arm

Last Tuesday was a primary voting day here in Illinois. I still get fired up (of course) but primaries notoriously have very low voter turn out. Last Tuesday was no exception, but some people did come out and vote. Thankfully, Todd the Troll Stroger was voted out of office and some new blood entered the political realm, or so we all thought.

Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen was slated to be on the November ballot as the Democratic choice for Lt. Governor, but I just read on Chicago Tribune mobile edition, that he has done what was asked of him and dropped out of the race. Do I have a problem with that? Uh, hell yeah.

1. The people who did vote last Tuesday, voted for Scott Lee Cohen. How dare the Democratic party assume that the people of Chicago needed help with their choice?

2. The Dems had PLENTY of time to vet all of the candidates. Why is everyone acting like a) they don't have a past and b) this is the first they have heard about Cohen's past? In every article I have read, it has been stated that Cohen was very upfront about his past, so I am confused as to how it was ok when he was spending money and no one thought he would win, and is magically NOT okay now that he has won...

3. Somehow I know that the people who are asking for Cohen's resignation are not innocent politicians who just want him to drop out for the betterment of Illinois. Whenever you point to someone and claim that they are too corrupt, generally you have some 'corrupt' skeletons in your closet. Somehow Pat Quinn who was Lt. Governor under Blago doesn't strike me as someone who can now be holier than thou.

4. His prostitute ex-girlfriend is saying that he should drop out of the race. Really? Are we all taking advice from convicted prostitutes now? Seriously?


I still take a lot of grief about boycotting Michael Vick. We all know I am an animal lover, but mostly I am pissed because he is a liar. He did unspeakable acts and lied about it. Scott Lee Cohen was truthful about his past, yet one has a job and the other does not...on the word of politicians and an ex prostitute, Cohen has lost the job that the people of Illinois felt he should have...wow.

Did Cohen just become the latest victim of a political strong arm tactic? Yes, I believe he did. Should he have dropped out of the race? Nope, I don't think so. Will be interesting to see how this plays out.

Help/Aid to Haiti- Suggestions and Pitfalls

So- I totally have NOT been keeping up my New Years Resolution of blogging on a consistent basis... but I am working on it, I promise!! I have, however, been keeping up with the news. When you fancy yourself a "blogger" news becomes like second nature. It really is almost like having your morning coffee- which, if you know me, you know I cannot do without. I watch the news in the morning; I read the news online throughout the day; I watch the news at night... maybe I am in overload, but I like it!



My news overload has gone into overdrive lately. Every channel I watch has an opening story of the devastation that has taken over Haiti after the earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of people. It is mesmerizing and it makes me sad. To see all the faces full of anguish and uncertainty. To hear of all the families that have lost husbands, wives, children. To see the huge outpouring of emotion and money from all over the world... nothing less than amazing. I will venture out and say that the world response has given me a new respect for humankind. It is nice to see that neighboring countries care. It is nice to think that we may all be a part of a world... not just our own little worlds (I never really leave my pretend world where everything is about me- and I invite all of you to enter the world where it is all about me...through this blog), but something giant and slightly all encompassing. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to put your own "problems" in perspective.



There has been a lot written about the pitfalls of American aid specifically, in the wake of this natural disaster. When you do something, people always want you to do more (or less), and no matter what there are always opinions about what you should be doing, why you are helping, what you did, how horrible you are, etc. One article in particular was written by Bill Quigley and posted on Democracy Now! His article is entitled "Ten Things the U.S. Can and Should Do For Haiti" and of course I take issue with a few of his points.... would it be any fun if I just agreed? :)

Most of his ten points make sense to me- treating people humanely and asking to be in the loop as to how much money is raised, where that money goes and the percentage that is actually going towards the cause... that makes sense. Below are the points that I will argue with (surprised? nah- didn't think so!)

** "One. Allow all Haitians in the US to work. The number one source of money for poor people in Haiti is the money sent from family and workers in the US back home. Haitians will continue to help themselves if given a chance. Haitians in the US will continue to help when the world community moves on to other problems." Um, no. Sorry Mr. Quigley. As an underemployed college graduate, I HAVE to disagree with you. Unemployment has skyrocketed in America over the last two and a half years. I have ex-classmates who are losing their homes, or moving in with their parents so they can make ends meet. I have been told (several times) that I am overqualified for jobs. States (including the one I live in) are on the brink of bankruptcy and having to come up with funds for thousands of newly unemployed workers. We, as a country, are not on track and one reason for that is we give jobs away. We routinely look the other way as jobs are outsourced and exported and I am not willing to advocate for thousands of non US citizens taking jobs off the market, when tons of tax payers are not getting a regular paycheck. So we will put this in the disagree pile.

**"Three. Give Haiti grants as help, not loans. Haiti does not need any more debt. Make sure that the relief given helps Haiti rebuild its public sector so the country can provide its own citizens with basic public services." Um, again... no. Guess who else does not need anymore debt? Ding, ding, ding- you are correct if you said the United States of America!!

**"Five. President Obama can enact Temporary Protected Status for Haitians with the stroke of a pen. Do it. The US has already done it for El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Sudan and Somalia." And he has done it in this case also. According to The Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Naplitano, 'Any Haitian in the US prior to the earthquake will be allowed to stay for 18 months to work. Any Haitians attempting travel to the US will be sent back to Haiti.'

**"Six. Respect Human Rights from Day One. The UN has enacted Guiding Principles for Internally Displaced People. Make them required reading for every official and non-governmental person and organization. Non governmental organizations like charities and international aid groups are extremely powerful in Haiti – they too must respect the human dignity and human rights of all people." Agree- but realize that the United States is not the only country that is helping out. This needs to be followed by everyone... even Haitians- specifically those in control.

**"Seven. Apologize to the Haitian people everywhere for Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh." I laughed when I read this. Out.Loud. If you regularly read this blog, you KNOW that I am not a fan of extremists- unless they are extreme fans of mine- and I do think the two men mentioned are ignorant morons, BUT here in the United States of America we have a lovely thing called Freedom of Speech. Even though I would like to choke Rush and Pat, they have a fan base and they have the right to say whatever they want- within the confines of the law. I am just hoping that the stupidity that came out of their mouths will let their "fans" see who they really are. But it may not be wise to attack very established American rights while American citizens are emptying their pockets to give money to Haiti. Plus, America as a whole should not apologize for Rush and Pat.... they should show some human emotions and do it themselves, prime time, Fox News, to be replayed over and over and over and over again...

You can check out the whole article here. Please do not read anything into this entry. I believe that we all should help Haiti- so don't start emailing me telling me I am a heartless bitch. I just think that the US cannot be the only country making sacrifices, especially since we are struggling. My thoughts and prayers go out to Haiti. I hope that recovery is swift, memories of this horrible time are short and their pride in Haiti is forever. God bless the Haitians, the relief workers, those sending financial help... and God Bless the United States of America. (See, I am sounding Presidential ALREADY- watch out world!) :)

"Maybe I can convince time to slow up..."

I have been listening to a lot of music lately- and it has been reflected in my blog. Music has a special quality- it can reverse the bad day vibes. Bad day vibes were so overabundant today. Tomorrow, January 6, will be the seven month anniversary of the death of a friend, a brother of mine. Yesterday, January 4th would have been his 40th birthday. I attempted several times to post this blog on his actual birthday, but it was too emotional for this self proclaimed 'non emotional' person. I couldn't do it. Honestly, I am a little weepy while typing this. Sometimes it is actually harder to be that friend that everyone leans on. That means that you can't mourn the same as everyone else... things can't hit you the same. That is how feel about the death of my friend. While I was busy being strong for everyone else, I never really got to mourn a great guy who left way too soon.

It is funny, because I was not around him much, because I live in Chicago and he (and my bestie) lived in Columbus. But whenever we got together, it was like I lived there- like we had just seen each other the day before. It takes a special person to be in a relationship with a woman who has a friend like me. I can be mean...no really, I can be, have been and will continue to be to those who deserve it. Ask any of my close girlfriends, I am sure they have horror stories of me meeting their significant others. What can I say? Some people just don't make the cut, and those who didn't knew RIGHT away. I have been told that I have a very expressive face- like your date says something really dumb in front of me and I am UNABLE to not have my disappointment in his ridiculous stupidity show on my face. Yep, I am totally that friend. Sincerely, my girlfriends are my pride and joy; they are my sisters. I have very few and I am very protective, so their dates have to be the cream of the crop... same for me. My girlfriends tell me when my dates fall short. Depending on who I ask, the critique ranges from simply, "I just don't think he is the one for you" to some comments that my mother should not read on my blog! We are like that- we have no secrets- and we know each other better than our respective significant others ever could. That is the way it is supposed to be! :)

So, when Racy introduced me to Daryl when they started dating, I immediately attempted to figure out what was wrong with him. I looked for a long time and came up with nothing- very weird! I have to admit, I look after Racy a little more than the other girls. She is just so sweet; the kind of person that would give you the shirt off her back. I mean, I know that people say that about their friends all the time, but seriously, Racy would. I really think that God brought her to me to be the calming force in my (slightly) self centered world. She, unlike anyone besides my mother, can get me to understand that sometimes (SOMETIMES) it is not all about me. Not a lesson you want to hear from everyone!! But she says it as nice as possible. She has had her feelings hurt, by me, more times than both of us will admit. She has cried and probably wondered why she is friends with my evil ass, but I would go to the end of the Earth for that chick and I know she would do the same for me. After the train wreck that was her first marriage (still don't really talk to that one.... I think he may have nightmares about me [evil laugh]) I was NOT looking forward to letting anyone in our family circle for a while. But then I met Daryl and I knew that my friend would be ok. I think I loved him from the start. There was never any awkwardness; there was never those stupid 'pregnant pauses' where everyone in the room feels weird. He just had a way to make me feel like he had been around us forever. He broke the ice... by making fun of me. :) Not a course of action for just anyone, because I am hardly the one that take kindly to jokes about myself...

There was just an ease about him that was unexplainable. He knew exactly what to say in order to make everyone in the room feel comfortable. And you could tell because at his funeral, all different kinds of people were there to celebrate this life, this force field, this man that touched people with an ease that skilled politicians don't have. In one fell swoop, I knew that my friend would be ok because her knight in shining armor was... just like me! A little rough around the edges, but deep down, he was golden! And he did take care of my friend. I think he was put on this Earth for her. They did everything together and made love and family look easy. They made it look easy.

It is hard to be sad because Racy and Daryl were blessed with so much. Each other, a home, and three great kids. Although I didn't see him much, there has not been a day in the past seven months when I didn't think of Daryl. I wonder how my friend is going too make it without her other half; wonder how my god-kids will turn out without their daddy; wonder who is going to give my future husband (whoever he is) the "speech" about treating me like a Queen [ok, my dad is going to give it, OF COURSE, but generally there is a peer that gives it too, so that the husband knows he would be seriously hurt]. I wonder how I am going to make it without my brother. I don't even think that Racy knows how much I miss her husband; how much faith he gave me in my search for my other half; how much joy I derived from seeing them together and happy. Amidst all the marital turmoil that I see everyday, it was amazing to see a young couple that was making it together. He gave my sister security and for that I will always be grateful to him. I miss you Daryl, every day. Please continue to look after my friend and the kiddies... and if you have time, look after my nutty ass. Thank you for being a shining example of what a man SHOULD be. Thank you for making my sister happy. Love you, Big Bro... RIP Big D

"Time, be my friend... and let me start again" Stephanie Mills- Home

Nina Simone- Feeling Good

And oh what an anthem for the new year... Feeling Good by Nina Simone.

Key Lyrics:
Freedom is mine/ And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For Me
And I'm feeling good

Am I Blue? Billie Holiday

I have heard several versions of this song, and I favor Ms. Holiday's by far. Simply amazing.

Vivian Green - Emotional Rollercoaster

Can't remember if I have ever posted this video... if not, I have been special because I rock out to this all the time. I have both albums and am waiting for her to go on tour... in fact, I will check now to see when she is headed to Chicago. Vivian has a great voice... and Love Story is an album that everyone can relate to.