Sickle Cell Awareness

Today is the end of September, can you believe that? I, for one, need the year to slow down a bit. It seems like just yesterday, Lefty and I were driving back into the city limits to celebrate a new year together and now here we are on the edge of October. This was a month of firsts for us. We went to our very first blogging conference together, which was lovely. A first of many, I am sure. Last month we did the ALS challenge and this month is Sickle Cell Awareness month. Like ALS, Sickle Cell and its sufferers are relatively unknown except by those who suffer from it or those who are caretakers.

Many people don't even know what having Sickle Cell Anemia entails. Sickle Cell is a hereditary, blood disorder where red blood cells assume a rigid, sickle like shape. Sickle-cell disease is associated with a number of acute and chronic health problems, such as severe infections and attacks of severe pain ("sickle-cell crisis"), and an increased risk of death. A person inherits two abnormal copies of the haemoglobin gene, one from each parent. If you only have one of the abnormal copies, from one parent then you have the Sickle Cell Trait (like me) and you do not experience the above named symptoms. The highest frequency of sickle cell disease is found in tropical regions (and tropical people... again, like me!), particularly sub-Saharan Africa, India and the Middle-East. In the United States, about 1 out of 500 African-American children and 1 in every 36,000 Hispanic-American children born will have sickle-cell anemia. Sickle cell trait occurs among about 1:12 African-Americans and 1:100 Hispanic-Americans.

And so what are we doing to raise awareness for this debilitating disease? The ice bucket challenge was already taken :) but my almost life long friend... and Sickle Cell Warrior, got me hip to their campaign #BoldLips4SickleCell so, of course I had to participate! Below are my pics, both serious and silly-- lipstick is Rimmel Bordeaux (because Bordeaux is the color that you NEED when doing a bold lip challenge). Educate yourselves, my lovebugs and see what you can do in your community to help bring awareness to this disease. Now... SHOW ME THOSE LIPS!! :)

Excuse the seatbelt shot from Lefty's car-- we were headed to the blogging conference and he is all about safety first... even while taking dreamy eyed selfies :) 

Rolling Deep with Aretha...

I swear this is not a music blog. It is NOT. I promise... kinda. Here I was eating dinner and making purple cupcakes- because why NOT make purple cupcakes on a Monday?! Minding my own business when I saw that Aretha Franklin did a remake of Rolling In The Deep. Dear, sweet baby Jesus why did you let THIS happen? I had to listen to it. I mean, I HAD to. I love the Aretha of the 50s, 60s and 70s. I mean, Respect, Chain of Fools, Dr. Feelgood (what?!!?-- Don't send me doctor...). But I NEED Aretha to know when to just have a seat and let a song happen... without her.

Now look. I love Aretha. She has a voice that is very distinctive and funky. Her voice is beautiful, and Adele is, without a doubt, the singer that she is because of Aretha Franklin (and several other Black singers). But oh, my love bugs-- Aretha should have let Adele have this song, because she lost this battle so significantly. Let's hear the evidence: First up, the original (which, I am SURE has been on this blog before-- because when it came out I was going through a crazy break up and this song was on repeat like it was the only song in the universe.)


Adele - Rolling In the Deep




Good, right?! I mean, besides that fool dancing in the powder, I really love this rendition. Relays the pain of dating a douchebag that betrayed your trust (wait, we aren't talking about my break up, right? Oh, ok... back on track). Soulful. Just angry enough. Wonderful. Now let's check out Aretha's version.

Aretha - Rolling In the Deep




See- no. From the 23 second mark, me and Aretha broke up. Cut it out. "Rolling in the deep... screech."

We broke up. We are in a fight. We are not speaking. No, no, no, no. And again, no. I mean, it was so bad. And the mixing of Rolling in the Deep and Ain't No Mountain High Enough. I am done. BROKE. UP. This version is making me long for the Negro Spiritual version from John Legend-- at least it is a cappella... get it, John.

Soulful Saturday - The Cranberries

I am not exactly sure why fall weather makes me want to relive my high school days. Maybe it is because it is technically 'back to school' season or something. Could be. Ah well, here I am, up WAY past what should have been my bedtime, singing along to youtube videos of forgotten songs that once brought out teenaged angst. When I was in high school (oh my God, I just totally sounded like the old lady in the neighborhood IN MY OWN HEAD when I read that sentence back... What have I become?!) Back in the olden golden days of the mid 90s, the music was full of rebellion. Grunge was king of the airwaves, there was anger, combat boots and flannel shirts. Marry that with teenage hormones and there you have it, Hot, Black and Bitter, the high school years! One of the bands that regularly made it onto my mix tapes, and in heavy rotation were The Cranberries. Hauntingly beautiful sounds that you would not normally think would come out of a human... and notes that you should TOTALLY NOT TRY to emulate, but I do... every time. Hey, it is good singing... check it out.

Dreams

 


 Zombie


 


 I Still Do


 


Ode To My Family

Gather Ye Rosebuds

Every year, on this anniversary, I want to write something profound. Something that makes people feel sad but gives them life, too. Something that makes people remember AND gives them motivation. Something that celebrates the lives lost and something that leads the people that remain to live life to the absolute fullest.

I have yet to find a way to do that... So I have found some videos to do it. First one-- from Dead Poet's Society-- is a great snippet. A reminder that you should do whatever you can to make the life that you live the most extraordinary piece of art that you can put together.




For the lives that we lost before September 11, 2001, on that fateful day, and after, we will always remember you. You are always in our hearts and on our minds... and we are here to continue your dreams, keeping you alive through our good works. People, tell your loved ones how you feel about them. Lay it out for the people in your lives. You never know when it will be the last time.


**Lyrics**
Sorry, I've never told you, all I wanted to say

And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feelin' and knowing you, hear me
It keeps me alive, alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Eventually I'll see you in Heaven

Darling, I never showed you

Assumed you'd always be there
I, I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day one sweet day

Picture a little scene from Heaven

Although, the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Sorry, I never told you
All I wanted to say

What Happens in the Dark...

So for the past two days I have (happily) been avoiding writing about Ray Rice and his caught on video domestic violence. A lot of thoughts have crossed my mind regarding his less than stellar behavior and the type of person that it takes to defend those actions (simply put, if you found a way to defend him, you and I will NEVER be friends... and that is the nicest thing I can say about you). I have written several posts about what I think of domestic violence and the perpetrators of that violence. One of my posts on the subject can be found here.

Honestly, I was not going to say anything- I shared a couple of Facebook articles about the story and said I was happy he lost his job (because I am), but nothing... you know, specifically Hot, Black and Bitter for the fans. Ah, but then I got caught up on all the stupidity on social media surrounding Rice and his wife, and now here I am, typing up a storm. Why? Because I am truly

Let me start out by saying I have a rule: grown folks need to keep their hands to themselves. At all times. There is not ever going to be something said that would justify putting your hands on someone else. If you find yourself in a situation where you are thinking of striking someone, make no mistake, your own stupidity and pride keeps you in that position, not the words or deeds of the other person. Defense of one's self is one thing. If someone is hitting you and you have to hit them back so you can walk away-- I am all for that. I'm all for making it out of a situation alive. What I am not here for is the idea that I could say something that could make ANYONE feel like I should be knocked unconscious and then dragged out of an elevator like a life-sized bag of Jasmine rice. That is inappropriate. Inappropriate and there is no excuse. Hell, I tell my little siblings to use their words- not their hands. If kids under the age of 10 can grasp that concept, why is it so hard for grown ups? 

Then there are the bandwagon fans who are like: "that man should not have lost his job for hitting his wife." Excuse me?  I was actually told that he should not lose his ability to perfect his "craft". People have LOST.THEIR.MINDS. Listen- we, as a society, have GOT to stop glorifying athletes. They get paid to play a game. Their ability (or non-ability) to play that game will not make them good people. It doesn't mean that they are not criminals. It doesn't mean that they have a built in excuse to get out of trouble. The fact that I have to type that shows that people need to get their minds right. The fact that you can take a ball and put it in a net, the end zone, the outfield, the goal... yeah, not a get out of jail free card. Far from it-- those bums should be held to a higher standard, because we are ALL paying them. Ticket prices, gear, shoes, buying products from sponsors, endorsements, etc. We are ALL making them rich. We, as the public, should be collectively outraged that someone that WE pay participates in domestic violence. NO PASS. EVER. 

I was listening to Sports Radio on the way to work and someone called in to say that Ray should sue the NFL because they are essentially hitting him with double jeopardy. Someone else remarked that his wife seems to have forgiven him so we should too. Others have said that the punishment doesn't fit the crime, etc. Let me make a few points, before I close. 1- Ray Rice is serving out this suspension while keeping a $25 million salary-- he is still walking away with money, yet another reason I have absolutely NO sympathy for him. Also, uh, he can get a job. He was not rendered disabled. They haven't taken away his ability to work-- he just won't be able to have his PREFERRED job... like many of the rest of around here. No sympathy.  2- I don't think for one minute that Ray Rice married that woman for love, and I don't think she married him for love either-- call me a cynic. They were married after the attack and married people cannot be compelled to testify against one another... and unmarried people don't get half if there is a breakup, but they do get half if there is a divorce. 3- Ray Rice cannot sue the NFL and he shouldn't. Are you kidding me? He deserves a lifetime ban for the actions in that video. Roger Goodell saw that video, in February, I have no doubt. In fact, I think that Ray and Roger probably watched it together, in Roger's office, over a couple of scotches (because they are both assholes). 4- That video was NOT the first time (and I am sure that it will not be the last) that Ray Rice hit that woman. Her friends and family need to use this time to embrace her, get her away from him and get her some counseling. ASAP. I am not even going to type a response to her critique of the media's handling of the release of the tape... because I truly believe that she is the victim here and I will not victimize her again with, what would be, a scathing review of her comments.

If you, or someone you know, is involved in an abusive relationship, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline and get some help, 1.800.799.7233. Someone will miss you if you are gone. 

Soulful Saturday - Feel The (Self) Love

I am obsessed with a teeny bopper song. You can't see it, but I am hiding my face in shame. Kidding-- I don't care, I heard it on the radio a few weeks ago, added it to my workout mix and I am ridiculously involved when I perform this selection in a car concert. Y'all, please hear me... I ROCK THIS SONG.

A few months ago I wrote this piece about begin a fat girl... I still am. No shame. No shade. I know that I am not where I want to be. Put in my information to get my BMI... uh, yeah. So, I am working on it. I think that I like this song extra because it celebrates us "non-size 2" ladies. Plus, it is fun (that guy dancing in this video? I need those moves. ASAP.) Plus, I personally think it is HILARIOUS that a white girl sings about bringing "booty back" Honey- it has been back, always been in style! :)

Anyway- first Soulful Saturday of the season... Meghan Trainor, All About That Bass


** Every inch of you is perfect, from the bottom to the top **

What I Did For Summer Vacation - Urban Dare

Have you ever had one of those days that made you want to throw up your hands, crawl into bed and read until midnight... Yeah, well for me that day was yesterday. Yesterday, I would have come home and watched paint dry to escape the ridiculousness of the day. Y'all I would have volunteered to watch a Maury marathon on TV. I would have volunteered to weed the garden... or wash the dishes. It was just awful. It was made even MORE awful by the fact that it was only Wednesday, which meant that I still had (have) to deal with two MORE days of this craziness before a long weekend. Sometimes, friends, it just isn't worth it.

As I sat in my bedroom, eating my stress away and contemplating getting a new job (again), I decided to write about something that makes me happy. So I picked up my iPhone and looked at some photos from this summer. Summer was (is) a super busy time around here. We always end up traveling more than anticipated. Sometimes we get roped into street fairs, spontaneous celebrations, family outings or outdoor workout sessions. Because of the hectic schedule, we also have more "rest" days than anticipated. Lefty and I wake up with lofty dreams of Do It Yourself projects around the house and we end up sleeping late, procrastinating and saying we will do it "next" weekend. Things like that happen during our summer. We are ok with it- because things (mostly) get done on an acceptable timeline.

One of the events we have made time for the last two summers is a race called the Urban Dare. Think Amazing Race meets your city. We had a groupon in 2013 and decided that it would be fun to run walk quickly though some neighborhoods of Columbus, seeing some things that are often overlooked when you live in a city. And we had an absolute BLAST. We didn't come in last (I mean, it IS a 'race') and we didn't come in first (I'm going to emphasize the fact that there was NO running) but we did show some amazing teamwork and the attitude issues were few and far between. This summer we did the race again-- we ranked a bit higher in the standings (woot, woot) and still had a fabulous time. I recommend that when the Urban Dare comes to your town, you put together a team! You learn a few things about the city you live in, learn about your partnership, the obstacles are do-able... and you don't have to eat gross stuff :) Check out their website: http://www.urbandare.com/adventurerace.php Depending on where you live, they have races into the fall- we will be doing the race again in 2015!!

Here are some pics from our 2014 adventure... a Throwback Thursday photo array in the hopes that today will be a brighter day than yesterday! Happy almost long HOLIDAY weekend y'all.

Beginning of the day...

Before we took off in the heat. I had a fresh haircut and no sunscreen, what was I thinking?

One of our stops- on the statehouse lawn. WWII letters on a monument, made these history nerds happy campers, indeed! 

Extra points, identifying and finding this sculpture, while on the run! :) 

Getting towards the end. That is the face of a Hot, Black and Bitter, tired mess, y'all!

One of our obstacles- Lefty had to "propose" to a stranger. She was in the park... with her husband. We saw them again, after this stunt... She told Lefty they were over, since he was cheating on her after he proposed! LOL 

Good times- summer in the city. 

Straight into the Fire

*Stretches, cracks knuckles, deep breaths*
What's happening, people? One month and 17 days ago, I abandoned this lovely outlet to go and have a fantastic summer as a newlywed. It has been great, but I have missed sounding off on the happenings of the world. So, I decided last week that I would not wait until Labor Day to get back at it. So here I am, pissing people off, in writing, again. Ah, it feels good!! So my first topic? I'm bypassing the "What I did For Summer Vacation" essays (they are coming later) and I am going to go right into the fire, my friends and write about what I know... Growing up Black in the United States of America.

Ferguson, Missouri. A town you didn't know about three weeks ago has people divided these days. Michael Brown, a teenager two days from the beginning of his college career, was gunned down by a police officer in the street... broad daylight, in front of witnesses. Since then, people have easily taken sides, accusations have been thrown and the denial of race being part of the equation has been exponential. I have more than one opinion, which I will share, but I have a few KEY points that have to be front and center. So-- read these points and consider them AS you read my opinions. In other words, don't be dense- read everything before you comment... Don't make me cuss your dumb ass out. You know, the norm!

Key Points:
1. I support police officers. They have a VERY hard job. A job that I would NEVER want to have. With that hard job comes a ton of responsibility and far too often, officers are not responsible.
2. I do not condone breaking the law. I try not to and expect the same from fellow citizens. If a large group of citizens insist on breaking the law-- I have no issue with the National Guard being called out to restore order and enforce a curfew.
3. Race plays a part in every day life in America. When people deny that race is an issue in America, I automatically think they are idiots. Not just ignorant, but willfully so. And it makes me want to vomit.
4. I love, love, LOVE that this Facebook, online protesting generation has taking to the streets to try to exact some change in their neighborhoods. I fucking love it, and it should happen more often. Groups absolutely should stand up and shout that their children are not to be hunted in the streets like animals... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
5. I am VERY quick to correct bad behavior, on any one's part. I don't care if you look like me, if you are tall, short, Black, White, Asian, foreign or domestic, relative or total stranger-- if you are participating in some bullshit, I will call your ass out... you should know/do/be better. Looting is unnecessary and counter-productive. Destroying your own neighborhood is idiotic.

OK- with those key points in mind, here are my opinions. Police Officer Wilson is an overreacting jackass and now the City of Ferguson Police Department is trying to make this incident something that it was not... so that they can save face. In that process they are, in fact, making the situation worse and coming off as backwoods racist people who are stupid. As this situation wears on, I feel as though there will a tragic injustice done to Michael Brown, his family and his memory... which will try to be rectified by a correction of his character assassination on page 18 of the local paper- no national news coverage and that is.a.tragedy.

The way I see it (from the credible information I have found): Mike Brown and his little buddy were being assholes, walking in the middle of the street (which I hate, I mean my tax dollars purchased a very happenin' sidewalk... to walk on-- it is in the name, dude). Assassin Wilson, I mean Officer Wilson took exception and asked them to get their asses on the sidewalk (you know, a place for them to walk). They were smart asses back. Wilson decided to be sensitive sally and be super butt hurt that someone was ignoring his authority. So, officer bad ass decided that he was going to make these Black boys do what he said. And it all spiraled out of control from there.

Let me be clear: teenagers are dumb asses. They are, generally, rude. But nothing that Michael Brown did in the streets of Ferguson, MO that day was worth his life. He was unarmed and was assassinated in the streets of Ferguson-- hands in the air, surrendering to this sensitive police officer. I do not believe that Mike Brown tried to bum rush his assassin. I do not believe that he was involved in a strong arm robbery... and, while conveniently thrown in after the firestorm began, I do not believe that the sensitive cop knew that there was a robbery or that he was chasing a suspect. There are ways to stop an unarmed suspect that are not fatal. None of which include shooting said suspect 6 times, including twice in the head. No one will be able to convince me that officer sensitive HAD to shoot that boy 6 times.

So, how is race important in this situation, you ask? Let me tell you! I believe that officer sensitive pants would have been less likely to follow those boys if they were white. And when was the last time you heard of a white guy being shot down in the street at the hands of the police, unarmed, with hands raised? How often does that happen? Also, let's be frank... when white boys, some the age of Mike Brown, shoot up movie theaters and elementary schools, they are labeled as mentally unstable. They have psychologists on the television saying that so-and-so had a mental illness since they were children; for Mike Brown, the scenario is that he is a thug and a possible armed robber. Now, I am not saying that he wasn't- because, unlike all the other social media kings and queens with fake law degrees, I didn't know him personally, didn't know his activities, etc. I just find it peculiar that the first pictures that make the rounds on media outlets are those where a man purported to be Mike Brown (but it is NOT him, but you know, us dark skins all look alike) is smoking weed, throwing up gang signs and looking menacing. Why is the thug image so easy to believe? Could it possibly be because that is how most people think of Black people as a whole? I mean, let's be honest-- why are you so quick to say "Jesus, they should just get over it," or "THEY just want to have something to complain about," or "He deserved it," or "He should have done what the officer said," or "That is what happens when you rob people..." etc. Why is shooting an unarmed child in the street OK? It isn't. That is all that needs to be said. No matter what Officer Sensitive has to say the only response should be -- it is NOT OK to shoot our unarmed children in the streets of our cities.

Far too often, we give officers a pass. Too often, we offer up our children to the streets- seeing their ultimate sacrifice as a toll that certain neighborhoods just have to pay. Too often we allow the media to portray the Black community as ignorant, rowdy, and burdensome on the country. All too often we buy into the stereotypes that are circulating about us. We need a catalyst to take back our streets, our cities, the lives of our children. Quite possibly that is the ultimate goal that Michael Brown's death will serve-- a tide turning revolution to get our babies back, our reputations back, our communities... back. Get out there and take part in our revolution.

Welcome back, readers ;)

Women, Hobby Lobby and Contraception

In case you missed it, Hobby Lobby "won" its case in front of the Supreme Court of the United States yesterday. The Supreme Court (SCOTUS) ruled that "closely held" corporations did not have to cover certain contraceptives that violate the owners' religious beliefs. I was immediately struck with his short sighted the ruling is, which I will get into, and I was even more shocked to see some WOMEN'S reaction to this ruling. 

A bajillion years ago when I started law school (I know, I know, a bajillion is such a technical term!) one of the first things we learned, other than archaic property law, was the concept of the "slippery slope." The top of this imaginary slope is what may seem like a mundane ruling by a court; the "slip"begins when other cases use the mundane ruling to include more and more situations. More "rights" are taken away; the once mundane ruling applies to a bigger piece of the pie of every day situations. Get it? That is what happened today. "The court's majority said that the for-profit companies that filed suit didn't have to offer female employees all Food and Drug Administration-approved contraceptives as part of a package of preventive services that must be covered without copays or deductibles under the law." You read that right, the contraceptive guidelines apply to women only. Hobby Lobby (HL) are specifically against paying for IUDs, the Morning After Pill and any contraception device that does not allow implantation of a fertilized egg into the uterus... because they think that the inability for this implantation to take place is essentially an abortion. First things first-- the inability for the implantation of a fertilized egg to take place is NOT an abortion. At all. Glad we got that together.

Secondly, "closely held" for profit corporations are not people. Whole corporations cannot and should not have religious beliefs that can be infringed upon. I mean, it sounds great to those of us (and there actually ARE some people who are happy about this ruling) that HL does not have to pay for certain birth control. A popular response to the ruling today is "If you don't like it, don't work at HL." And I get that. I do. I would not work at HL anyway... I like the other craft stores better and I don't want to get paid $12/hour. But, let's make no mistake--"closely held" corporations are now being given the ability to say that they will not participate in something that substantially hinders their religious beliefs. Not the religious beliefs of the corporation... because corporations do not have religious beliefs. People do. So today the SCOTUS gave a small group of people (who run a for profit business) the right to determine what they will and will not cover for their employees, who may or may not agree with their beliefs. That is problematic. What happens when you and your employer disagree with what is acceptable? What happens when YOUR religious beliefs differ from your employers? What if your beliefs make it impossible for you to get a job at a corporation? What if it weren't your beliefs, but your sex? Your color? Your orientation? Still ok with HL's position? Here is the question of the day... what if HL was run by non-Christians? (Oh, I see some of y'all jumping off the party train and running for cover!!) What if the corporation was run by... Jehovah Witnesses? Then what? What if they run to the SCOTUS and say "Hey, we don't believe in blood transfusions or chemotherapy and we should not have to pay for that. We believe that if God gave it to you, you are supposed to have it, so no medical intervention for you...It is wrong." Everyone still ok with today's ruling?

Ah, I have lost some of you. You have fallen off the bandwagon... because NOT paying for something is ok... as long as it is YOUR something that is not being paid for. Chemo helps people, right? I mean, who would not want to pay for that? Modern medicine that saves grandparents and other loved ones are great, but IUDs, we can't wrap our minds around that. See, here is where that slippery slope comes in. Get it now? We have assigned religious freedoms to corporations and now they are able to say "eh, I don't want to do (whatever) and I don't have to because my religion just doesn't jive with that." Example: "yo, I just really don't want to hire short, black women who periodically shave their heads, because to do so would be a burden to my religion, which isn't so fond of short darkies and also states that "For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head." (1 Cor 11:6). I would be in trouble, y'all. But you can see how assigning corporations the excuse of religious burden can get you some place you don't want to be very quickly.

Lastly, I am amazed that fellow women are seeing this as a victory. This is NOT a victory for women. Not a complete defeat, but definitely not a victory. Nowhere did HL say that there were male specific drugs that they just could not bear to pay for. When it comes to men- there seems to be no burden on religious freedom. Could it be because men are the ones judging what is necessary? What needs to be paid for? Determining the new, fake definition of abortion? As quiet as it is kept, I have some :) experience in the insurance industry and men just don't have to worry about much getting denied. Viagra (and the generics) are covered. Testosterone (for sexual dysfunction)= covered. Vasectomy? Covered-- no questions. Why is the SCOTUS not concerned with the will-nilly attention given to sperm? Why isn't someone cutting down on drugs that enable men to actively pursue vagina? I mean, one man has the ability to impregnate thousands of women... yet there are no regulations on guys. Why are women cheering for that? Why are some of us in the sisterhood ok with telling others what they should do with their bodies? When are those SAME sisters going to start telling men to use condoms or lose their jobs? To marry women instead of shacking up? To be fathers to the children they have helped produce? No, no, no, no... we would rather open up another attack on women. Please, let's not be close minded-- this ruling today can (and most likely will) be used to expand upon what corporations cannot pay for, due to religious beliefs. Make no mistake, this is NOT the end... it is just the beginning. The repercussions are coming. When will we collectively say that is enough? Open those eyes ladies. If we don't stand up for us, no one will. They will be back. They will take more. Ah, prepare for the ride, sisters... the slope is slippery and the ride is fast.

Putting on my Face

Here is a shocker-- I am not really a make-up kinda girl. I know, I know, who would have thought, right? With this experiment, I have tried to "put my face on" when I leave the house. Now, I will admit that on days where the workout happens in the morning, I am hard pressed to do anything other than shower and pull on my work clothes. That said-- I do try, y'all.

Now, I am sure that we have all seen the ladies of the 50s. Perfectly coiffed hair, pouty red lips, manicure that looks like there is never any heavy lifting, dressed to the nines. Not a hair out of place. Like... Lena Horne (who looked AMAZING in every photo she has ever taken. Ever.)

Yeah- let me just tell you, I don't look like that when I wake up in the morning... or throughout the day, depending on what is going on. I have also been trying to hit the gym in the morning (sometimes successfully) which frees up my evenings to grocery shop, do some house cleaning or cook. I am not sure if you know but gym time but it does not make looking like this easy... 

Plus, I am not really good with time management when I am half awake and crawling out of the shower at the Y after my quickie workout in the morning before work. So, clearly, I am not going to be packing on foundation and fake lashes in the Y bathroom. During this experiment, I decided that I was going to do MORE, without looking like I am doing more. Below is what I do in the morning to make sure that I am trying... without looking like a circus clown. 

Wash: 

When I go to the gym in the morning I break out the big guns. After getting sweaty and cursing at either the elliptical or bike, I need something super fabulous to get that lovely glow off my face before I scare my coworkers. Here is what I use while soaking up the hot water at the Y... Clean & Clear Morning Burst. I like it lots, it does its job and supposedly the citrus smell aids in waking up morning zombies, like myself. I kind of think the coffee and the workout does that, but hey, whatevs! I am a big believer in the sample aisle in Target. Go there... find your life and try out good products. 

Moisturizer: 

I am totally old school, hey-- don't you judge me!! I put Vaseline on my face as a base. Not enough to look like a shiny penny (momma Hot, Black and Bitter hates the shiny penny look... she has been telling me to rub in my face since I was 5). THIS is the "flavor" that I like and it is in my gym bag... and I have the lotion at home and possibly in my purse. Nope, totally not obsessed. Let's not worry! :) 

Foundation:

So, foundation is a big fat NO for me. I don't really like it and I don't want to choose the wrong one because um, have you seen the chicks with the effed up make-up? No, thank you to that. Instead of putting foundation on top of my Vaseline, I dot on a thin layer of this, Maybelline BB Cream. It has sunscreen and it is a tinted moisturizer. Something light for a chick-a-dee on the go... like I pretend to be at the butt crack of dawn. 

Rounding out the Goodness:

If there is one thing that I have to have in my routine-- no matter what, it is mascara. If I do say so myself (and I will) I have fabulous lashes and I like for them to look good. So whether I am wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt or a dress, mascara is a necessity. Generally, I am wearing Falsies or Colossal (though I hate, HATE the smell) or Great Lash in Blackest Black. It doesn't take much.

I am also not a lipstick kind of girl-- my level begins and ends with tinted lip gloss. My current favorite is Cover Girl NatureLuxe in Clove. I'm sad though because I don't think that they are selling this anymore... or at least it is harder to get my little hands on it. 

Swipe of color, tinted moisturizer, lashes to die for and feeling soft... putting on my face and rocking my 1950s wife look after a workout! 

The Loss of A Giant - Dr. Maya Angelou

Today, when I was at work, I was presented with the saddest news I have heard in a few weeks. Dr. Maya Angelou passed away this morning. I am not very emotional and while I am sad that people pass away, I don't usually show that sadness with tears. Today was no exception, but I did take some time to examine why the passing of a woman I had never met would affect me so deeply.

The answer I came up with was this: I did know her. Not in the conventional way, I guess, but I did know her. She examined her life and allowed all of us to read her deepest pains, sufferings and joys. I, like almost everyone else, read I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings and cheered for a girl that did not yet know she was hero. It was easy to gobble up the words on her pages-- they seemed to leap off the page at certain points. You could read her words, close your eyes and smell the apple blossoms and dirt roads of backwoods Arkansas. She made you question traditional thoughts of beauty, made you see the dark side of "family," made you hate, love and empathize... all in one book.

I remember the first time I read that book-- I remember the last. I was going through a rough time. There is nothing like reading about someone else's nightmare... it makes yours seem so small. I remember standing up in front of peers at a church youth conference, reciting Phenomenal Woman and thinking to myself that the MOST self assured woman had to be responsible for this magical poetry. And she was magical. She led us through her life, like dogs on leashes on a long walk, pausing at every change in scenery. And we were eager to be led. We ate it up; we consumed HER. And it was life giving.

It is so odd that her passing happened during my month of the 1950s experiment. During the 1950s Dr. Angelou was hard at work, outside of the home, doing what she could to make ends meet. Hanging out with influential thinkers, participating in a movement that she would champion for the rest of her life-- the Civil Rights Movement.  She spent the 50s begin the antithesis of what we think (or have been told) the 1950s woman was. A great example of what I would like to be-- then AND now. Rest In Peace, you phenomenal woman. You have fought the good fight. May we all have the courage to pick up the torch and carry on.

You Are... How You Dress?

So I did a little research, magazine ads directed at women in the 50s, books that were written with women in mind, movies that depicted how exactly "acceptable" women behaved. You know what all these have in common? Women, acceptable women, are well dressed. Being well dressed when you go out helped in representing your family (and your husband) well. Women headed to work, if they worked outside the home; the market or lunch with their girlfriends would have never dreamed about heading out like we do in 2014.

Often, and not because of this experiment, I comment on what others are wearing. Mostly because people do not care what they look like when they leave their home. I mean, we have all seen The People Of Walmart website, right? It is an epidemic. And it doesn't just happen at the Walmart... though I have to say, it is definitely more prevalent there. Just a quick search of images of women from the 1950s will yield thousands of pictures of perfectly coiffed young ladies-- even when cleaning the house. No signs of yoga pants (guilty), jeans every day (guilty) or coming outside still in pajama pants (guilty, but usually only when I am headed to the Walmart).

I say all of this to say that I went on a shopping spree of sorts. Much to my mother's dismay, I am not much of a dress wearer. I went to an all girls school-- uniform skirts, but even before that, I was always more of a tomboy. I can dress up, but really... why? For this month though, I have decided to throw a wrench in my regular wardrobe programming. Unless I am on my way to the gym, no yoga pants. this is hard because I look FANTASTIC in yoga pants and they are just so freaking comfortable-- it honestly makes no sense. The fabric they are made from? Manna from heaven, thank you! Unless I am in the shower at the gym or strolling around the house by myself, no flip flops. You know the ones I am talking about-- the plastic ones that you replace every summer. Those. I have a friend who refuses to wear them. Ever. And she is not even doing a 1950s experiment!

I am also limiting my jean wearing. Gasp. Listen y'all. Jeans are allowed at my job. That should really be all I have to say. They are my go to... after yoga pants. Nothing sexier than me in jeans and a tee shirt. Oh yes. But I am going to try to let that go. I will go from 6 days a week in jeans to 2. And when I do wear them, I will dress it up. No Pearl Jam tee shirts from 14 years ago... I will wear the ones from 3 years ago instead. And a belt, maybe.

Also, with all this dress wearing, I feel as though I am obligated to my fellow chick-a-sees whose thighs *may* rub together... I have found a new friend-- BodyGlide. I usually use to for running, it cuts down on friction when your body is moving for a long period of time... but it also works if you are switching up your wardrobe selection and your thighs are touching each other. A lot. Trust me. You are welcome. Off to put on a dress...

1950s Mentality - A Beginning (House)Wife

A little glimpse into the life of Hot, Black and Bitter: I love history. In fact, both Lefty and I have undergraduate degrees in History. My concentration in undergrad was 20^th century American history, mostly the 1960s. I love the turbulent times of the 60s. I love to look around and see the changes that have taken place because of the selflessness of some in the 60s; the simple audacity of very few that sent an entire country into change. For me the idea of THAT was awe inspiring. I read the news and see the correlation of things happening today and what happened 50 years ago. Life is cyclical and all, just in case you were wondering!

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about the 1950s and how a direct turn from that decade led directly to the movements of the 1960s and how awfully hard I thought those women of the 19502 had it. I mean, they had lived through and been single parents during the war, most born right before the Great Depression. These are the parents of the "Baby Boomers" the most talked about generation... Ever (it seems sometimes). These women (generally) were still participating in very traditional gender roles, they worked in (and showed pride in) the home, raised kids, doted on their husbands and did all the housework. I'm just going to repeat that... Yeah, that is right, they did all the housework. All of this and I am pretty sure they would be (rightfully) shunned if they wore yoga pants everywhere. So I, of course, started to think... "Could I make it as a 50s housewife? First thought? Absolutely not. First, Lefty and I work different shifts and don't spend lots of time together during the week. Secondly, I don't dote. On anyone. Ok, maybe my mother. Possibly. Third, when I think of the perceived attitude that was necessary to thrive in the 1950s... not necessarily subservient, but definitely, um, gracious, that is not the attitude I got. All jokes aside, it is really not my forte. If I am being honest. 

But I have decided to give this a shot anyway. For the next month I am going to be as much of a 1950s wife as I can be. I am thinking that I can take back our home from the cat hair that is floating around, the (still) unpacked boxes that litter the library, the animals that supposedly bring joy into my daily life. Plus, I am sure that Lefty would appreciate a home cooked meal occasionally.  Clearly there are some limitations. The internet was not around in the 50s... and I am NOT giving it up for the next month. Ain't happening. Besides, how can I report on all my mishaps? Internet time will be *slightly* limited though. I will post on the blog but time on Facebook is going to decrease... I am sure that it will have to since I will be spending a lot more time doing other things... like chores. Also- I am not taking a month off work-- so I will have to participate in this experiment during off hours and on the weekends. That generally means that I will be cooking at night and Lefty will be eating it the next day. Ah, the evils of him working second shift. I will post updates, successful recipes, catastrophes, cleaning schedule and (possible) outfits of the day, if I am looking super fabulous. 

I know that I won't be able to totally immerse myself in the time period, but I am going to try my best to show pride in my family, home, husband and get the feel of a 1950s wife. Let's cross our fingers that I make it the whole month!! 

Let's get after it, 50s style! (Be prepared for a few history lessons too... and I am not sorry about it!) 

There Is No Punchline

I really try NOT to get involved in the ever exhausting lives of "celebrities." I am not a huge fan of many, so I don't really care what they do, to whom, with whom, where. But today-- every timeline I have was inundated with news of Solange Knowles trying to beat the holy shit out of her brother-in-law, who just so happens to be Jay-Z. As of yet, only the elevator video has been released, nothing has been confirmed, but man-o-man have people come out of the woodwork to comment on the happenings of an elevator ride.

The memes are plentiful, everyone has jokes. So, my question is: what the hell makes this so funny? Listen, I typed when Chris Brown beat the absolutely cow shit out of Rihanna-- people need to keep their hands to themselves, period. There is NO excuse for grown ass people to fight. Zero. Rumor has it that Jay-Z has cheated on Beyonce, or has hit her, or whatever. If he cheated... they are married... leave his ass and take half his shit. If he hit her, she needs to get her daughter and leave that abusive situation, divorce him and take half his shit. Either way, Solange should not be in the middle, nor should she be assaulting anyone in the name of hurt placed upon Beyonce. Seriously, multi-millionaires fighting in an elevator? Dumb. People making fun of any sort of violence? Stupid.

Remember back a few weeks when everyone, including me, was all up in arms when Columbus Short was accused of choking and threatening his wife? Yeah- you should be that upset at this. Just because Solange is a woman does not excuse violent behavior. It down not make the situation amusing. Now, how would you have reacted if Jay-Z slapped the shit out of her? What if he kicked her back? You still laughing? What if the roles were reversed and he got in her face as soon as those elevator doors closed. All the women I see reposting the video... would you still share? Would the hashtag #whatJayZSaidToSolange still be trending? Would everyone be so fucking giddy?

God, I hope not. People need to really evaluate why one form of abuse if ok and another one will have you screaming for jail time and arrests. Solange needs to keep her hands to herself and everyone else needs to realize that domestic violence, no matter who is doing it, is wrong and should not be applauded. Ever. Grow up.

Race Recap - Hall of Fame Half Marathon

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls-- let me tell you why my legs are so sore. I was a fool who thought I could make it straight through; 13.1 miles without passing out-- next time I say some shit like that, hot me in the MOUTH.

Kidding, slightly. On April 27, Lefty and I woke up at the butt crack of dawn; I slathered Body Glide on my thighs so I would not start a friction fire on the streets of Canton and we were off. It was cold- like 37 degrees cold. Where does that happen? Northern Ohio, my friends. There was a horrible backup at the fairgrounds (parking), I didn't think we would make it to the starting line in time... but we did, JUST in time. We stood around, hugged up until the announcement that the race was starting. Lefty snapped a couples of pics and then the race started.

I have to say-- I wanted to quit about a mile and a half in; I didn't train on asphalt because I wasn't training outside much during the winter. My shins were killing me, I was breathing like a person having an asthma attack and I was getting passed by the elderly. Seriously, someone's grandmother passed me at mile marker #2. And I wanted to trip her. For real.

Once I made it to mile three though, I was determined to make it. I mean, I had done just about a 5K and I wasn't dead... yet. When things got rough or hilly, I walked. I have no shame. Who the hell knew that Canton was so hilly? Lefty called it the San Francisco of Ohio and I have to say-- I freaking agree. So do my thighs (did not catch anything on fire, yeah me!) Y'all listen, that shit was rough. I really don't know how else to say it. It has taken me this long to write about it and I have to admit that I was hobbling around for at least four days. There were points in the race when Lefty would come meet me-- and that was wonderful. There were times when I had to have an internal conversation with myself to keep going... and there were times when it was all I could do to turn up my music and put one foot in front of the other. But I did it. I had 4 hours to finish it and I finished in less than 4 hours.

Just as a parting thought: why the hell do they have photographers at races? I mean, I don't care who you are, you are not going to look nice at any point, covered in sweat and breathing like a freaking fish out of water. I have seen the proofs-- I will definitely NOT be purchasing that shit. I look like a sweaty, black oompa loompa. With a hat. No.Thank.You. They took my picture at the finish line. Grrrr. I could barely breathe but I did hear the song blasting in my ears from my iPod... It was "I've Had The Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. I can assure you that I.DID.NOT. But I will be doing it again next year. With a faster time. Because I am clearly a glutton for punishment :)

What I felt like when I saw the finish line (thank God for my Lefty):


Here are some pics for your enjoyment.

Finish Line the day before.

 Representing THIS blog, always

How did I feel after the race? I felt like this: 

Let's get after it!! 

Pro Football Hall of Fame

The last weekend of April was very special for me - I walked/ran a half marathon! So, a few months ago I was looking for something to do to get my ass back in the gym on a consistent basis (see: Diary of a Fat Girl). I signed up for a half marathon, thinking 'oh yeah, 13.1 miles, piece of cake' but oh... was I mistaken. Before I get into the gory details, let me just say: I got to tour the Pro Football Hall of Fame!!

The day before the run, because I am sure that they knew they would torture us with the route, all the runners and some guests were allowed to wander through the football hall of fame and pick up their race materials. I am glad that we were able to go, because I highly doubt that Lefty and I would have made the trip for any other reason... he is not much of a football fan and I would not want to pay the admission fee. Hey, you say cheap, I say thrifty. Tomato/Tamata.

Want to know what I noticed immediately (and what would come back to bite me in the ass)?? The Hall of Fame is at the base of a very large hill. Very large. Hills everywhere. It was rough walking back up the hill after this tour... and I probably should have thought that Sunday morning, instead of being a cocky asshole, huh? Nevermind that-- Lefty and I walked through and took pictures and learned of the history of the NFL-- and its Columbus connection. We took a few pics-- and acted like morons (as usual). SO all in all, a good time was had by all.

Me and 'Sweetness' Walter Payton, Chicago Bears Warrior 

The Legend, Jim Thorpe-- look him up! 

Wait, some guys play football wearing a onesie? WTF?! 

The Columbus Panhandles? I NOW know what the name is all about, but at first I thought we were named after beggars on the street...

Legends live here-- and on April 27th, 2014, I became one!

Hall of Fame, Canton, Ohio

Trip Down Memory Lane

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to head back to my high school for Reunion Weekend! I have to say- it was amazing to be in that place!! My high school experience was a little unusual. First I should type that I went to a small, all girl, private school. My school educates girls in Central Ohio from Pre-K to 12th grade and we are tight group. Every year, no matter when you actually graduated, women gather for a weekend of fun and catching up. I could only participate on Thursday and Friday, because of another commitment (which will probably be the next post), but since I live in the area again, I thought that it was really important that I showed some support.

And yes, I am glad that I did. This year was not a huge reunion year for my class-- 2014 marks 18 years since I gave the graduation speech in my long white dress. In 18 years, the changes around my school have been numerous, but the spirit of what went (goes) on there is still very much the same. Thursday night was a young alumnae get together. Who knew that 18 years out was still considered "young" LOL! I sat around with two ladies from my graduating class, nibbling on finger foods and drinking wine (yum, wine). Near the end of the night I sauntered on over to another table of ladies that graduated in 2009. Um, holy hell, they said 2009. My very first question after their names? "So, were you actually ALIVE when I graduated from high school??" Their answer: "Yes, we were 5." Five freaking years old. Ok, some of them were six, but that did not make the hurt in my heart feel any better. Five.Years.Old. (read: I drank more wine).

The next day--Friday-- I had the day off, so I woke up early and headed over to campus to have lunch with fellow alumnae. I have to let all new readers know: private school lunch kicks the ass of all other lunches available. Like, even grown up lunches; grown up lunches that you pay a lot of money for. I had cheese ravioli, garlic bread and roasted broccoli. And cake. Ok, ok, ok and a cookie bar. Take that. I don't care if you judge-- I ate it off a monogrammed china plate, and that somehow makes calories disappear. Yes!! Then I took a tour of the new theater, saw a program put on by current students, sat around reminiscing, left a note for the seniors, talked to a few of my former teachers (they were some of the first to tell me and my parents that I *may* have a problem talking out of turn), totally crashed a party for the class of 1994 (where I ate their food) and just had an all around good time. I spent ALL day at school. Like a job. And I loved every bit of it. Like a boss.

Lifelong friends 

 

Strong Girls = Strong World. Indeed! 

Can you find me?!?

We are The Fighting Unicorns! Go UNIES!!!

Diary of a Fat Girl

With my brothers getting ready to graduate from high school and all the other stuff going on around these parts, I have had a little time to look through photos and reflect on my high school/college years. Lefty and I were at Momma Hot, Black and Bitter's house a few weeks ago and we found most of my college acceptance letters. I headed home and started to look through pictures, walking down a mental memory lane. I came across pictures that I have not seen in years, and saw a ME I have not seen in years. Want to know my conclusion?

I'm FAT, y'all!!

I looked at a couple pics and this was me…

 

Now, don't start sending me emails… I do NOT have any body image issues. Honestly, I like my body MORE now than I did when I was in college. I was VERY thin in college… and I don't think that was the healthiest look for me either. So, what makes me think I am fat? Well, for one thing, I am short…compact…fun-sized. Whatever you want to call it, I am close to the ground. Close to the ground means that an increase of numbers on the scale is not too fabulous. Those pounds run out of places to go, clothes start to get tight, pictures look very different, for lack of a better term. And I look different. 

Some people will HATE this post, because most people who have had weight problems want to be the size that I am right now. Fortunately for me, the largest size in my closet is an 8, but trust me, sizes are all relative. If you are 5'10" and a size 8, you do not look very similar to a person who is 4"11" and a size 8. Actually, I don't want to lose much weight, but I can see the slippery slope, my friends. I refuse to get pants bigger than an 8. I refuse to be "chubby"; I refuse to conveniently forget what a size 4 looks/feels like.

So, today - April 1, 2014, I am signing up for my first triathlon. It will be a mini, and it is taking place the weekend of Lefty's birthday, in the suburb I currently work in. Also, I have already signed up for a half marathon at the end of this month. I will definitely be using the walk/run method during these 13.1 miles, but I am going to finish, even if I have to walk the whole thing. I will do at least three races this season. Now I just have to figure out what kind of fundraising I will do before these races. Either way, darlings… wish me some luck. Pray that I will tone up and not have to buy bigger pants! :)