Women
Let me start out with some common sense advice: vaginas are not special. Let me rephrase: YOUR vagina is not special. There are hundreds of videos on YouTube where women say: "My child's father doesn't take of his other kids, but he is going to take care of mine." Um, no lady, he won't. Why would he? You have already stood by and watched while he didn't take care of the little defenseless children that he already has. Silence is acceptance. And you somehow think that he will treat you differently? Why? Because you think you have sunshine in your pants? Let's be real. If he has kids that he ignores and doesn't care for, there is a strong possibility that he will do your kids the same way. Your vagina is not going to change his mind. You thinking that you are the baddest bitch is not going to change his habits. You also need to stop it with the "I don't need him or his money." Bitch please. Yes you do need him AND his money. Your kid needs him AND his money. Hell, I need you to take his money because I don't want to have to help pay for you and your kids. Oh, I said it: if you don't like the man that you are sleeping with, you should not be sleeping with him because children are a life time commitment to that person. They will always be a part of your life. Your child will always need to know BOTH of their parents. I don't watch Oprah but even I know that she said that when people show you who they are, believe them. People will show you who they are-- if you choose to ignore the signs, then that is on you. We all know how babies get here, right?! So if you meet a guy who is someone you only want... to see naked, then you need to take all precautions to assure that you will not be stuck co-parenting with a deadbeat. I blame you. Ladies, we are no victims. Generally we are full participants. Having a child by a no good man is NOT going to make him suddenly become good; it will simply saddle you up with a jackass. A little something you should think about before you have unprotected sex with some guy that you have nothing nice to say about.
Men
Children are expensive. (Clearly if T.O. can't pay his child support.) Just so we are all on the same page: that 30 seconds of pleasure can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars. Again, something you should think about BEFORE you try to "hit that." Also, should the state HAVE to make you pay for your children? No, if you are a man, you would make sure your children were taken care of... HOWEVER, we are surrounded by very tall boys in men's clothing so states have to intercede. I'm good with that. And let me just say to you assholes who purposely don't work and have a court order to pay less than $100 a month and have the NERVE to complain: shut the hell up. Dude, a baby will go through $100 in a week, easy. Your children don't just need to eat when you are able to 'come up' with child support. They can't wait to get clothes until you hustle up some cash. They cannot wait for diapers until you deem it ok to send over some money. Some of the boys on YouTube also felt it necessary to call the mother of their children names. Um, if she is a whore, what does that make you? If she is a gold digger, what the fuck is she doing with your stingy ass? If she was truly in it for the money, she would not have to beg your punk ass for $100. If you can call her names, it reflects badly on YOU... because you chose to sleep with her, and she is now the mother of your child, so what does that say about your judgment? If you can sleep at night, knowing that your children are not being taken care of because you can't or won't provide for them, What does that say about YOU? Holding your children's money hostage will buy you one thing: a first class ticket to hell.
Child support would not be such a hot topic button if people were more choosy about who they had sex with, who they choose to procreate with. So that is it, ladies and gentlemen, keep it in your pants or pay the price, with a deadbeat partner or a hefty child support order. Condoms don't sound bad now, do they?
2 comments:
I've read your blog post "Deadbeats", and I honestly have to say that it's one of the more objective posts on the subject.
As I said on my Facebook, I've seen many different issues/situations with this issue. I suppose my only real issues with the whole child support/deadbeat issue is that no one mentions how mature adults would handle this situation, and that often, people like to paint all men (and women at times) with a broad stroke when it comes to this issue.
But, as always, I enjoyed this blog.
I have to say-- mature men and women are in a committed relationship BEFORE they have children. I realize that some do not believe in getting married, and that is fine, but you should only be having children with someone you have built a life with. That is how mature adults handle it. All this, I have three children and three fathers involved, or my baby's daddy is a baller, etc., All that nonsense needs to be eradicated from our thought processes. People need to take some pride in themselves and stop laying down with EVERYone in the neighborhood and having babies by EVERY person they think is cute.
Kids SHOULD be expensive-- so you think before you create them and bring them into a fucked up situation. Child support SHOULD be painful- for both parties- so that you think before you do that shit again. As I said on facebook, I don't see people getting rich off child support. But I do see children suffering when their parents fight over money. Pony up that cash and stop having society care for your children... or keep your genitals to yourself!
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