Soulful Saturday - Babyface

Unlike last week, there are some songs that Babyface shouldn't sing... like every fast song he has ever sung. BUT, every slow song that he has come from his lips has been SO beautiful. OMG, I still remember the first time I saw the video for Whip Appeal... are you freaking kidding me!?! WOW. I wanted to be one of those video girls. HE.IS.AMAZING. Seriously. Amazing. No to mention that he is a sweet midwestern boy, who grew up just three hours from my hometown in a small place named Indianapolis. Yes, that DOES mean I automatically love him. Without further adieu...

Whip Appeal
*When we go to work, how the day seems so long. Only thing we think about, can't wait we get home.
*We got a way of talking... and it is better than words.
*No one does it like me and no one but you has that kind of whip appeal on me.



Everytime I Close My Eyes
*Girl, it's been a long, long time coming, but I know that it's been worth the wait.
*It feels like springtime in winter. It feels like Christmas in June. It feels like heaven has opened up it's gates for me and you.
*Everytime I close my eyes I thank the Lord that I've got you and you've got me too.



When Can I See You Again
*When does "you'll get over it" begin?
*When does my some day begin?
*What if I am still am not truly over? What am I supposed to do then?



Someone to Love (With my boyfriend, Jon B.)
* You came to me in my time of need. When I needed you, you were there for me.



Never Keeping Secrets
*So I'm never keeping secrets and I'm never telling lies- I wanna make it up to you.
*I only want to be with you.

Where Are The Parents: Amber Cole

I have taken a small break from blogging for the last few days, after attending the funeral of a friend. To say that it has been a rough week is an understatement and I am just catching up on some things… so the blogs will probably be plentiful. First up: Amber Cole.
For those of you who don’t know, Amber Cole is a 14 year old girl who was videotaped giving her ex boyfriend oral sex outside of their school. Supposedly, she did not know that she was being videotaped… and she engaged in the act in order to save her “relationship” with this boy. At this point, the talk is that she is on suicide watch. I have not seen the video, but I have seen photos. Oh, I have so much to say. So, I am going to break this up into two entries; one entry about this situation itself and one about cyber-bullying. Here we go:

I can NOT believe that Amber Cole got on her knees- outside the school doors- and serviced some dude. I can NOT believe that the video went viral, and I can NOT believe that people are so nonchalant about this situation. Listen, I have written several times about how we need to embrace our children and show them the RIGHT way to conduct themselves and this child illustrates exactly what I am talking about. I am mad at her—I am. That type of behavior is unacceptable, not only for 14 year olds, but for EVERYone. Hey- I will always advocate for grown people to do whatever they like. If you have the consent of the other adult that is participating and you are not doing it in my bed, in my face PLEASE do it! If your actions aren’t hurting anyone, I don’t care. But Amber is not the age of majority, she is not an adult and all adults who were sharing the video of her on her knees, distributed child pornography. Yes you did, you simple bastards. I am mad at Amber, but I am more upset the adults that surround her.
Something is missing from that girl’s life. Somehow she has made it 14 years thinking that the only way that she can “keep a man” at 14 is to suck his dick at school in front of his friends as they snicker and tape her. What the hell is wrong with this picture? There are tons of people on youtube defending her and saying that they don’t think that we should blame her- we should. They don’t think we should blame her parents- we should. They don’t think this is an epidemic- it is. We should blame her because there is not one person who thinks that what she did was ok—well, no smart, halfway thinking person. But, if I was to allot some percentage of blame, hers would be about 5%. The rest falls on her parents and society. Now, it is true enough that we ALL have gotten away with some stuff that our parents don’t know about. We have all done some questionable things, right? I have. HOWEVER, who the fuck is parenting this girl? When I was growing up (shit, and now, if I am being completely truthful) I knew I was the shit. I own rooms when I walk in. I could be the only Black person, the only woman, the only ANYthing and the other people in that room will respect me. Point blank, period. The fact that this little girl clearly does not have someone telling her that she is worth more than a quick dick suck- outside- in full view of everyone else, is a travesty. Where the fuck ARE her parents? Where is her mother? A grandma? An auntie? Someone to tell her that at 14 you will have several other boyfriends so if this ONE douchebag is trying to get you to suck his dick for a CHANCE that he would take you back, the correct answer to him is: “fuck you and your little dick!” If her parents are not capable, then someone else should be taking this girl under their wing—IMMEDIATELY.

You may ask how society is at fault. I mean some of y’all are putting on sad faces all over the web, talking about how this little girl is a victim and it is just so sad that she felt she had to go down this path. Spare me. Society, as a whole, is to blame for this event. Collectively we glorify hoe-like behavior. We support “superhead” writing a book about her conquests, on this blog you saw anonymous people coming to the defense of Fantasia when I called her a homewrecker (which, she still is), shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and other reality shows are hits—I mean really, what is Kim Kardashian famous for? Being a hoe and getting fucked on tape by sorry ass Ray J. Yet we embrace her. Drama filled shit like the Real Housewives and Basketball Wives stream into our tvs at unprecedented numbers. Music is being pumped into our kids-- songs calling women bitches and whores, calling men the n word, advocating for the hustling lifestyle and not valuing education... and what they hear/see is exactly what they are giving us. I remember when Jerry Springer was the raunchiest thing that was on tv. Now some of these shows give them a run for their money. Nicki Minaj has surgery enhanced curves, singers come on stage half dressed. Lil Wayne has so many baby mamas I lost count, there are loads of children and minimal commitment and these are the superstars of the time. We need to tell our children that pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen when you are sexually active. There are diseases, there are cell phones that record the fucked up shit you do, and there are sick assholes that will pass it along online. We need to talk to our kids, instead of sending them out to the world super naïve about everything and easily eaten alive by the dirty bastards of our communities. We need to be examples. Like-- not bringing every guy you are fucking around your kids, not having child after child with several women, like wearing condoms, respecting our elders, etc. We, as a society, are selling out our children to the highest bidder—and getting it thrown in our face repeatedly. If we aren’t careful we will have a whole generation of women that don’t respect themselves, or demand it from those surrounding them. A generation of men who do not hold their counterparts in high esteem and more children to perpetuate the problem.

Soulful Saturday - Luther Vandross

What can be said about Luther Vandross? The most recognizable voice in R&B for the better part of three decades; the creator of more wedding songs than any other group/individual that I know of (and I have gone to A LOT of weddings); the perfector of "baby making" music. You simply can NOT love music and not love Luther. Without him there is no Ruben Studdard, no Usher, no Justin Bieber, no Jon B., no Gerald Levert, no Jamie Foxx... the list goes on. Where are the artists like this? Fast or slow, I am hard pressed to find a Luther song that I don't like. I even like the stuff he made with that crazy jheri curl and 80s clothes, so you know my love runs deep! Pay attention.... some of y'all were conceived to these songs! Happy Sweetest Day!!

Never Too Much
*A thousand kisses from you is never too much! :)
*A million days in your arms is never too much!



Give Me The Reason
*Give me the reason to want you back. Why should I love you again? Do you know, tell me how to forgive and forget.
*The love that used to be, ended the day you walked out.



A House is not a Home
*But a room is not a house, and a house is not a home; When the two of us are far apart, and one of us has a broken heart
*I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home



Here and Now (One of the BEST wedding songs, ever)
*One look in your eyes and there I see, just what you mean to me.
*The love that we share makes life so sweet; together we'll always be.



If Only For One Night
*I won't tell a soul; no one has to know if you want to be totally discreet
*Your eyes say things I never hear from you.
*Let me take you home and keep you safe and warm-- till the early dawn warms up to the sun (wow).
*It would be so nice-- if only for one night.



Forever, For Always, For Love
*If I had the chance to hold you again; I would fill your heart with joy
And make you know that I'm the only one for you

Weekend Recap and New Year's Resolutions

This picture is what I was greeted with early Sunday morning as I helped PAWS Chicago take care of their charity runners at the 2011 Chicago marathon. It was an early (early) morning and a very long day, but totally worth it. Sunday brought me to one conclusion: it is time to start crossing more things off my bucket list... SO... next year: I AM RUNNING THE CHICAGO MARATHON! It is on! I'm going to be a charity runner for sure, and I will be running other races between now and then.
I've put it in writing, so it has to happen. Happy Monday!

Soulful Saturday - Alicia Keys

Clearly, I do not omit people from this blog because of what they do in their personal lives. My dad complained about R. Kelly and I have complained about Fantasia and Alicia Keys. Although she is a homewrecker, (and don't send me any anonymous hater emails) she makes good music... I just wouldn't let this ho near my husband! ;) Happy Saturday!

Fallin'


A Woman's Worth
*You will lose if choose to refuse to put her first. She will, if she can, find a man who knows her worth.
*A real man just can't deny a woman's worth.
*Don't take for granted the passion she has for you.



Karma
*Now who's crying, desiring to come back to me?
*It's called Karma baby, and it goes around.



You Don't Know My Name
**Mos Def= HOTNESS**



Unthinkable (I'm Ready)
*Iwas wondering, maybe, could I make you my baby?
*Wouldn't it be so beautiful?? ;)
*If you ask me, I'm ready.

Fed Up Friday - Herman Cain

If you don't have a job... blame yourself?



Oooo- NO SIR. Herman Cain is a douchebag and should keep his mouth closed. If you made it through the last four years without being touched by the downturn in the economy-- good for you, HOWEVER, to say that people who don't have jobs have failed themselves and should be angry with only themselves is assinine. If that WERE a true statement, Cain would have no reason to consistently complain about how the President has failed us all because there has been no job growth. So, um, shut the fuck up, weirdo.

And when he was on the View, he said that businesses cut personnel out of necessity, and his 9-9-9 plan was going help that... so is it REALLY someone's choice to be unemployed?



And gay is a choice? Really? I want to punch him in the dick... and NOT simply because he is a Republican. He is so closed minded about social issues, when that is NOT what we need right now. Do we need to reign in our spending? YES. Do we need to revert back to the middle ages socially? Absolutely NOT. Don't Ask, Don't Tell should NEVER make a comeback. Healthcare bankrupting families should NEVER happen in the wealthiest country in the world. High unemployment should not be blamed on the people that are suffering, but on the corporations that are enabling that suffering by NOT hiring. Should I really have to type that in order for some knuckleheads to get it?

Four years ago, everyone... including stupid Sarah, harped on the President because he had limited experience, but Herman has NO experience and says so.



So, I am so confused as to why this ridiculous man is one of the frontrunners for the Republicans. Are the Republicans doing what they did the last election go round? Remember when Hilary was running for the Presidency? Then the Republicans introduced Stupid Sarah? That didn't go over well, right? Have they realized that there is a Black man in the White House and are countering with a Black man? Hmmmm. The real question is: will the American public allow them to do that and be successful?

How Many Really Know What Love Is?

October is a busy month for the Hot, Black and Bitter family. All three of the dogs have birthdays (and yes, they get a party-- with cake), my birthday is at the end of month (and y'all BETTER have a celebration for me) and then there is today... Today is Poppa Hot, Black and Bitter's birthday AND it is also my parent's wedding anniversary. Momma Hot, Black and Bitter made sure that my dad was NEVER going to forget the day they took the plunge, huh? :) Good for her... good for him, one less thing that he will be in the doghouse for :)

SO, if you are loyal readers of the blog, you know that we are a close group of lovingly dysfunctional people! Really. We do love each other-- sometimes mom has to remind us! We are all knuckleheads-- which dad always reminds us of. We fight. We cry. We hug it out. And if things are REALLY bad, mom will put the offenders on the couch and make us hold hands. Yeah- like we are still little kids. And we better do it, because that lady is not meant to be messed with!! Bottom line: we're all nuts. But, we have all grown together to make up this crazy, ridiculous, family gang. The ringleader (dad) is who I blame for my attitude; the church lady (mom) is who everyone should thank for those few moments of niceness I occasionally have. People often say that my sister and I are total opposites-- because we are, but we came by that honestly-- our parents are TOTAL opposites. But, there is a way to be total opposites and make it work and they do that. Every year, I watch friends (and their parents) go through divorce. People that were "destined" by the peanut gallery to make it through thick and thin. Kinda crazy. I never look to those people because I have the example of how marriage is supposed to work at my parents house. I look at my parents and wonder how they have spent the last three decades together, without killing each other, or an offspring (or two). It is really dynamic though to see how they work together. Mom is really laid back most of the time-- but she is gonna tell you when you are wrong (it will be nice); dad will tell you too (it will be markedly less nice). If you want the answer-- lacking sugar coating-- dad is the one to ask; if you want some hugs and kisses because you have just had a bad day-- mom always has arms open for you at the kitchen door. Just the right balance of pick your ass up and finish & everything will be alright. My parents won't let their partner bullshit them-- no one is getting away with that. But, I guess that is just it. They are partners-- in everything: business, family, love. The not-so-perfect (because no one is) combination of how to make a marriage work. They have set the bar high.

So one this day I want to say: thanks. Thanks to dad for always being there to kick my ass into gear and tell me that everything is going to be ok, but you don't want to hear any snotting and crying over the phone! Happy birthday!!

Thanks to my parents for being a great example and showing me that being completely alike is not necessary for a marriage to work. For showing me that marriage is not always peaches and cream-- sometimes your partner is going to piss you off, or get sick, or lose your favorite socks, or be insensitive, or be too sensitive... but that the ultimate goal is to work together for a common goal-- building a life together. A life with two CRAZY older daughters that will -probably- always be on your dime because they aren't getting married anytime soon; 7 little kiddos who will drive you up the wall every day and melt your heart when they want to hang out with only you while they watch cartoons; a grandson (the human one) who will grow up and be great-- because of you and the 3 grandkids (the furry ones) who send you cards every Christmas and brighten your day with their cute furry faces. That's a wonderful life! Thanks for having that 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 kind of love (oh yes, the heathen still remembers Bible verses, y'all!!) Thank you so much for showing all of us what LOVE is supposed to look like. Here's is to many more years of Hot, Black and Bitter craziness!! ;) Love you!!

Traitor to the Race, That's Me.

Yes, the title is correct—I think. You read that right, I am (proudly) a traitor to what people, specifically most Black people, think that our race has become. I don’t care if y’all try to take away my “black” card, wouldn’t be the first time. You can call me a “white girl”... shit, that happened last week; didn’t move me then and won’t move me now. Not that I think your imaginations are that great, but whatever you can come up with will NOT hurt my feelings, because I have not drank the kool-aid; I don’t believe the hype.
What caused this rant? This past weekend, I travelled to the far south side of the city and saw my old house; the old neighborhood. To say that I was sadly disappointed is an understatement. Not only did I see the old house—or what was left of it, I saw the kids on the corner, and, inside, I went BALLISTIC. Seeing shit that pissed me off when I lived in the hood made me ask myself some questions: Why do young Black men find it an acceptable to stand on the corner—even in inclement weather? Why do young people think that it is ok to trash their own neighborhood? Why do the people around them ALLOW for their surroundings to be decimated? And, for the love of all that is holy, why does everyone seem to think that this is acceptable behavior? Oh, and before I get tons of emails saying: “That happens in every neighborhood; it isn’t just Black people; you’re racist, blah, blah, blah.” Save it. I’m not concerned with other neighborhoods. I didn’t used to live around other races. I lived around Black people- and I am writing about my experiences. If you don’t like it, write your own blog entry.
Now that I have dealt with the crybabies, let’s get down to why I am a traitor. Oh, I have NO love for where the general direction that Black people are headed in, or where it is right now. And I plan on calling all you mofos out on the dumb shit that you do. I do not, will not, ever give you a Black pass. Fuck that. As little as 45 years ago, Black people were dying in the middle of the streets that you dumb asses stand on and sell drugs. You ought to be ashamed. You claim to be hustling. Punk, get a fucking job. That should be your hustle. Selling drugs to your “people” should make your stomach turn. You ought to have more pride in yourself and the struggle that others had to go through so you could be the neighborhood baby daddy who dropped out of school to sell drugs. Oh, and spare me the “a Black man can’t get a fair shake” speech. Know what? Neither can a Black woman. My dad used to tell me all the time—“you have to work three times as hard as everyone else because you already have 2 strikes against you in society—you are black and a woman.” And he was right. So fuck what excuses you got. Excuses are like assholes- everyone has one and they all stink. I don’t care to hear it.
With the invention of social media has come the acceptance of some ass backward behavior. You see people acting an ass and think that shit is cute, so you put it on your wall, share it with your friends. I can’t even tell you how many people I have de-friended because the “n” word is a staple in their vocabulary. Do you know what people had to go through so that we WEREN’T called that? And now y’all think that shit is cute? It is almost every rap song, on people’s YouTube channels and on facebook and Twitter. What brain dead lame came up with that? Or sagging your pants so much that you can’t walk? Or trying to emulate every hip hop star? Let me let you in on a secret... YOU AREN’T A BALLER. You can’t make it rain in the club. It is not cute to have 3, 4, 5 baby mommas. It is NOT your fucking job to populate the ghetto. You have no job, you don’t take care of your kids, you have no education and I AM SICK OF IT.
All these other people like to coddle. That is not my deal. I am not coddling anyone. There seems to be an expectation that you can do whatever the fuck you want and because we are both Black, I have to say, “ok Ray Ray (or Shaquana), I know you have it rough, so go on, do you.” Um, hell no. We all have it rough. Do you think that I want to get up and go to work every day? Making money for someone else? Do you think that I like the fact that I have SEVERAL degrees- including graduate degrees and I don’t get paid NEARLY enough? You think I like struggling after I have done everything I was supposed to do? NO, but that is life. The one thing I will always do is take care of business. If that means I have to sacrifice a couple of years and work my ass off for someone else, that is what I am going to do. That also means that if I am not MARRIED, I am not having any children. (Oh, be mad bitches—I don’t care.)That means that I don’t commit felonies; I don’t kill people over turf, I don’t sell drugs and I DO NOT pass on bad behaviors to the children around me. What the fuck happened to being a positive example? Y’all make me sick. The ones doing the bad shit and the people that let them get away with it—all y’all.
When will we learn that until WE expect more out of ourselves, no one else is going to expect more from us/help us/love us?? When will we learn that WE have to hold one another accountable?? Guess what? When we don’t hold each other accountable, we become the JOKES that everyone thinks we are. We become the stereotype. We become the 21st century jig-a-boos. Shame. A fucking shame.

Soulful Saturday - TLC

As I review these videos, it is abundantly clear that I had NO clue what these songs were about in the early 90s. Holy Crap. Oh Well-- TLC is a 90s girl group at its finest. Bright colors, condom wearing, pants sagging. Ooooooooh, on the TLC tip!! :)**I have purposely left off two of their biggest hits (What About Your Friends and No Scrubs) so don't email me and complain-- crazies! :)

Ain't Too Proud to Beg



Creep



Baby, Baby, Baby



Unpretty



Waterfalls



Red Light Special

Fed Up Friday

This week has been... caught on tape! Some people's actions are so questionable, that honestly, if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I would not believe that there were people alive that were THAT dumb. Like the following:



Really? Kids cage fighting? What year is this? 2011, right? Why do these parents still have these kids in their homes? Now, hey, you want to do MMA, once you are the age of majority-- cool. I have no issue with that. But a sold out crowd to see two 8 year olds fight in a cage, with ring girls and alcohol? Yeah- I definitely have a problem with that.



Because the Republicans ALWAYS keep it classy. WTF?!?! If someone VOLUNTEERS their LIFE to defend our country, I am pretty sure that assholes should not boo them. And just so you know, Rick Santorum, the tragic thing here is that you can let some bullshit like "Keep it to yourself" come out of your mouth. DADT was undermining the ability for the people who go to foreign lands and put their lives on the line to be themselves and lead the lives that they should be able to. And, I'm just going to throw this out there-- how much does anyone want to bet that one of those fuckheads on that stage has some tawdry sex secret that they are hiding right now? That is a bet I'd take.



I am going to be honest: I don't care for Jesse or Karen Lewis. The kids of Chicago Public School system DESERVE a longer school day. We have the shortest school day in the WHOLE country. We also have a very low graduation rate, and children have way more time to get into trouble and become deliquents. Karen Lewis has fought this longer school day with all that she has and it wasn't until Rahm checked her ass that she started to fall in line. Maybe with a longer school day, CPS can aid in getting more children interested in college and less interested in street life?



Wow-- kids can't even go to school anymore... Just so everyone knows- this prep school boasts a 100% graduation rate and 100% college acceptance rate. 100% Leave those kids alone.

Fed Up Friday would not be complete without me saying that I am also fed up with disrespectful people, time wasters, people who don't pick up after their dogs in the park, people who stare- for no apparent reason, and people who email you seven times to see if you have time to talk. Um, if I didn't answer you the first 6 times you sent an email, I probably don't want to talk to you. I feel better!! :) I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.

Wordless Wednesday -- Fall Romance

Soulful Saturday - The Remakes

There is a song, ok there are several songs that are remade every year. None as good as the originals- in my honest opinion. (With the exception of Jennifer Hudson with "And I'm Telling You"-- that chick SUNG that song.) So below are are some originals and some remakes of some of the best songs on my extensive list! ;) Happy Saturday!

As We Lay-- Shirley Murdock



As We Lay-- Kelly Price



Nothing Compare to you-- Prince
*He is the original composer and gave this song to Sinead... thank God he decided to record it!!



Nothing Compares To You-- Sinead O'Connor



Feeling Good-- Nina Simone
**So MUCH better than JHud. She should have stopped when she was ahead... Yay Nina!!



Feeling Good-- Jennifer Hudson



Somewhere Over the Rainbow-- Judy Garland
**There is no better version, so I'm not going to post anyone after Judy! She rocked! :)

Just a Taste Tuesday

I Can Make It Better

Key Lyrics:

*Whatever you're going through
I can make it better
No one should be making you feel like you do
I can make it better
Don't be a link in his chain
Tell him you want to be free, you want to love me
Don't let him get in the way

*For every one time that he gives you pleasure
Ten times he makes you wanna cry

It's time for the question baby
What has he done for you lately

*Better for you is better for me
Let's fall in love, I'll make you see
Better for you is better for me, baby
Let's fall in love, I'll make you, I'll make you see

Never again will you hear a lie
Never again will you wanna cry
never, oh no, will there be a tear drop in your eye
Stop all this madness in the name of love
Tell him to leave cuz enough is enough
Let him go baby, save your love for me
Tell him you've found somebody
Who'll give you the love that you just won't believe

~~So Essentially, the whole song~~

A Decade of Sorrow

Today is September 11. This date is etched in the minds of all Americans old enough to realize that the life we had a decade ago will never resurface in the same way again. I've written about the sorrow and the pain that we all undoubtedly felt as we watched the twin towers crumble, along with our faith in mankind a decade ago. I've written about my feelings, what I was doing, and that fact that I, like most of my peers, will never forget exactly what I was doing on that fateful day. As I watched a morning full of tribute shows, interviews with military strategists, family members of those who perished and children who were born on the now most infamous day in recent American history, I knew that this year's September 11 post would be different.

This year, I am still sad... of course. I am still praying for the family members that were left to put the pieces back together. I still feel pain when I see the accident site in Pennsylvania, when I look at the memorials at the Pentagon and Ground Zero. A decade later, it is still upsetting to see the playback of smoke billowing from both towers, faces covered in ash, people running for their lives down the streets of New York City, photos of posters of family members that would never be seen again. Even a toughy like me has problems processing that kind of hurt. But, my question this year is: we know what happened a decade ago... what have you done in the last decade?

So many times we allow years to just fly by. We graduate from college, get jobs and get stuck in a routine. A routine where we breathe but don't live. Do you know what I mean? We do responsible things like pay bills, go to work, etc. Those things are necessary and commendable but don't always allow for us to be passionate. Don't allow for us to make spur of the moment plans, or do what we really love- even if it is just on the weekends. Routines allow for us to stay in positions that may be stifling (read: jobs, relationships, etc.) That should change!

I don't know why someone would have enough hate in their lives to orchestrate something like those terrorist attacks. I am not sure what would ever motivate a person to commit suicide in order to punish/kill people that they don't even know. I don't know why anyone would feel the need to kill someone that has never done wrong to them. The one thing that I do know from September 11, 2001 is that you never know what could happen. You never know when your end is coming. So you should live the best life you can every day. You like photography? Take some classes, or get outside and take pictures. You want to travel-- do it! You want to go back to school? Do that. Love with all your heart; say everything that you really believe; tell all the people that you love how you feel-- not just on birthdays, or anniversaries-- every day. We should all have a sense of urgency. Life is so short and we should do everything that we are passionate about before our candles of life are blown out. Live the dreams that you have. Love people. Do not become complacent-- we are all here for a reason, therefore, we all have work to do. Get after it.

Wordless Wednesday?

Soulful Saturday - Ashford and Simpson

So this was supposed to be posted last week and I totally slacked on it!! For those of you who dont know, Nickolas Ashford died last week (August 22, 2011). He was one half of Ashford and Simpson and was a very talented songwriter-- think of all those duets by Marvin Gaye and Tami Terrell (yep that was him!)

Most people know Solid (as a rock) as THE Ashford and Simpson song. This 80s gem is great...



RIP, Mr. Ashford. Thank you for your contribution to longstanding love songs.


However, I prefer this lovely selection... masterfully remade by D'Angelo and Erykah Badu. Written by Nick Ashford, this is a true love song.

Fed Up Friday

It has been a while since I wrote a Fed Up Friday. I don't think I should take so long in between Fed Up Fridays because now I don't think I can fit everything in! I am an observer, by nature, I think. When I am out, no matter where, I am always seeing what some may overlook and hearing things that others may not hear. I say that because I often have public service announcements on facebook and twitter. Oh yes, I am totally that chick typing about you in your walk of shame dress on the el platform. My social media buddies know all about your tacky outfit and how you probably have your underwear in your purse- bad girl! But Fed Up Fridays are more than just a service announcement, more than comments on you and your frat boy escapades. It is a bit more reaching-- or at least it is supposed to be! :) without further delay-- the newest episode of Fed Up Friday...

1. I am so fed up with: The over-sexualization of our children. So, I'm a tv watcher (read: obsessed). There are shows that I watch online because I just cannot miss them. There is some nonsense that I have been roped into watching & now I watch all the time. During one of my tv watching sessions a news story popped up about a new toy on the market. Baby doll, bikini top, suckling noises when you bring the baby up to your chest. What the hell? Let's not be confused- I support the breastfeeders. I'm sure that it is the best interest for babies-- if the mom is able to do it. I'm all for moms being able to breastfeeders when they need to; and teaching their children why breastfeeding is the best choice. HOWEVER, a three year old faux breastfeeding a baby doll? Um, no. I also firmly believe that you shouldn't dress small girls like whore- I don't care what they see & want in the store- everything that is made for small children is not necessarily appropriate. Parents are around to know the difference- right? Take for instance the tshirts that were selling at JCPenney (and have since been pulled). They read: I'm too cute to do homework so my brother does it for me. There were also ones that said: Future Trophy Wife. WTF is that? If you have ever bought some shit like that for your daughter, you need to be arrested. We have GOT to let children know their value while they are in our homes so they know how to behave when they leave our homes. Attractiveness, overt sexiness and dumbing themselves down should not be accepted as a career move!

2. The "controversy" about Cam Newton. WTF?!?! Who gives a shit that Cam Newton's boss doesn't want him to get tattoos or piercings?! Why is that a bad thing? Who remembers when Johnny Damon had to cut his hair to be a Yankee? Um, there was no controversy then and there shouldn't be with Cam. It is not a racial thing and there is no rule (written or unwritten) that says that professional athletes have to be all tatted up. Grow up. Professional sports is a business. A very high earning business and if his boss does not want him to look like a tatted up party boy, then so be it. That man signs his checks and his checks have a LOT of zeroes on them-- as does Derek Jeter's, Alex Rodriguez's and anyone else who plays for the Yankees. Stop complaining about EVERYthing.

3. Tolls and taxes in Illinois. MAN, between Quinn, the tollway and the Chicago Public Schools tax hike, Chicago is going to tax people right out of the city. Why is it becoming SO expensive to live here? Money mismanagement is going to do us all in. :( The CPS Board just voted to raise taxes so more money can go to or school. Our schools that are failing us and have been failing us. What the hell are we paying for? Do you know that Chicago public schools routinely only graduate 55% of their students-- meaning that 45% drop out or otherwise do not complete high school. Is that what I am paying for? Disgruntled does not even begin to describe my feelings on that.

4. People are up in arms about Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars? I am appalled that people watch Dancing With The Stars like that. Who gives a shit if he wants to dance? Who cares? He is not going to be fucking on your tv screen, so why do you care if he is going to be doing the foxtrot with some skinny heifer? I'm telling you-- all of you who think that there is only one way to live life, one way to be happy, one way to love... You are going to reflect back on life, if given the chance, and hate that you didn't open yourself up to every possibility out there. You are not God. You cannot dictate what kinds of people there will be in this world. You can't and if you knew what was good for you, you wouldn't want to. Let Chaz shake his thing on the dance floor. Your life would probably be better if you got off your ass and had some fun too.

5. Last but not least-- I'm going to need el Presidente to grow a backbone. Barack, if you want to do your speech on Wednesday-- don't let that dick Boehner tell you no. You are the President, he is a lackey. You need to start making his life miserable. All this back and forth nonsense, seriously? Not why I voted for you. make him look stupid and get your agenda done. There has to be a way, because he is certainly doing his damnedest to make you look like a fool.

Of course there are the normal pet peeves that I have run into: time wasters, liars, fakers who will remain unnamed... because they know who they are (plus I don't share my limelight with anyone!) Happy Friday, y'all.

Drugs, Welfare and the Law

At the beginning of the summer there was an “expose” that boldly exclaimed that some states were going to begin drug testing their citizens that were receiving public assistance. I read that headline and turned the page of the newspaper because it seemed to make sense to me. Little did I know that there was going to be so much controversy surrounding the decision to drug test people.
Now, let me say, I CLEARLY don’t have an issue with helping people out when/if they need it. If you read this blog, you’ll know that I am not a heartless bastard... all of the time. BUT, there is something to be said about helping those that help themselves. Do I want to get rid of welfare all together? No. I think that it serves a purpose. I do think that it should be revamped and I ABSOLUTELY believe that drug testing recipients is a step in the right direction.
So, I have been privy to some online chats that are quite heated. I really think that the only reason people get heated about certain debates is if the subject affects them, or someone close to them. There are people on a certain blog that are screaming about the unconstitutionality of drug testing and how it “focuses on a certain group of people and not the general population” and all I can say is shame on y’all. It is absolutely UNbelieveable that during a time when the majority of Americans are suffering, some of us can get “free” money and not have to make any sacrifices. The only reason someone would REALLY contest this drug testing is if they thought they would fail. I mean really, most of us with jobs had to be drug tested. If I have to be drug tested to get a job, you should have to be drug tested to receive some of my tax money. Point blank, period. If you don’t want to be drug tested, don’t ask for assistance.
Here is what everyone needs to understand—nothing is free and welfare is not supposed to be a lifetime deal. It is supposed to be a helping hand when people have worked and for one reason or another cannot financially make it on their own. I think there should be a cut off—like unemployment. I don’t pay taxes so that people can sit at home their entire adult life. There was a helpful suggestion on one of the online threads. A guy suggested that anyone who receives government assistance, of any kind, should be open to drug testing. That would include business owners, bankers, those who work for the state, Congress, el Presidente, etc. Now that would be far reaching (and would never be passed into law) but how about that?
Bottom line—I don’t have a problem with the state of Florida—or any state—asking someone to take a drug test in order to receive welfare benefits. I think that it is wild that people would have a problem with that. It isn’t like they are forcing sterilization on people (some of y’all *might* need that) or taking your first born so you can eat. It is pee in a cup. We should all be able to handle that.

Soulful Saturday - Country

Now I don't pretend to have this particular genre flowing through my veins, BUT there is something to be said for some country music. First and foremost- Dude, some of these guys are SUPER hot. They play guitar, wear sexy ass cowboy hats and belts (trust me, a man properly wearing a belt is sexy, no matter what genre he is singing.) And- for you guys- some of the ladies are nice looking too. I mean think about it- Tim McGraw (WITH HIS HAT ON) is seriously one of the most beautiful men walking the Earth and his wife, Faith Hill, nothing to scoff at, right!? In the 90s it was Shania Twain and the incomparable Reba McEntire never ages.
Secondly- the music is good. The lyrics usually rival those of some very really deep R&B songs. Plus, who didn't laugh when "Redneck Woman" came out? Exactly!! Here is a sampling.

You're Still The One - Shania Twain



Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw



Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts



Amazed - Lonestar



You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban

Oh, Yes he did! Boris Kodjoe and Twitter

Heavyset African American women are lighting Twitter up because of a series of tweets sent by Boris Kodjoe (see above) with his super sexy self. Now, before y'all start lighting up my email (don't embarrass yourself, by the way) I'm going to say what you don't want to hear: I ABSOLUTELY agree with what he said and someone HAD to say it.


Now, I am not one for spreading untruths (is that a word? :)) so I am going to quote a couple of his tweets. "...Had nightmares though about 300 pound women in thongs gnawing on chicken wings while grinding on me. Scary" "Ok, people. Just to make it clear. I love all women!..." "And we as a community have to be more conscious of our health. The numbers are shocking" "No more excuses! High Blood Pressure and diabetes do not 'run in your family'. Pork chops, mac n cheese, and tons of soda do! #stopitnow" Boris also added some fat excuses- things we say to ourselves that make it ok to not be healthy. My favorite was: "#fatexcuses 'MEN LIKE THICK GIRLS' There's a difference between a healthy and sexy stacked goddess (easy Boris!) and an unhealthy obese one."

Feel free to go to his Twitter account and read all the tweets that he laid out. Now, listen... I love (almost) everybody. My personal motto is: if you like it, I love it. I don't care if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds, how you live and what you do-- to yourself-- is up to you. There are significant problems with anorexia in this country AND obesity. As long as your behavior does not affect me and my eating habits, have at it. I don't want anyone telling me what to do in my kitchen, bedroom or life-- I, therefore, will not venture out and tell you what to eat, who to sleep with or how productive to be. Do you, because I am POSITIVELY going to do me. With that said, I have no issue with Boris calling women to task-- AT ALL. He wasn't being being mean spirited (like this entry) and it seems as though his tweets came from a concern for health in the Black community. I can roll with that. I like it, in fact.

The statistics that he tweeted are true. The excuses that he tweeted are ones I've heard before. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "I'm not fat, I'm thick!" Ooo-wee, don't say that!! We all know that there is a difference and we all know that being skinny doesn't always mean that you are healthy. We ALL know that. But while we all know the above, here is what I want all of you to realize/accept/and LOVE: just because you LOVE the way you look, the way your life is going, the person that you are with, etc. that, in NO way means that everyone is going to love the choices that you make. If you are being the best that you can and you are consciously making an effort to get in shape or not, to gain weight or lose it, make sure that you are comfortable in your own skin and ready to take some criticism. The way I see it, the only reason way ANYone would take offense to those tweets is if they were overweight and had a self esteem issue. Like Boris tweeted: "I love women that love themselves." So, love yourself-- if you are 100 pounds or 400 pounds. Love every stretch mark, line, wrinkle, lazy eye, ugly toe, chipped tooth, every inch of what you got... or get your ass out there and change it, but not for Boris. Do it for you.