What Forgiveness Gave You...

I took a lot of flack for THIS post. When I wrote that earlier this year, my email account was set ablaze by all the people who kept saying that "people deserve a second chance" and "one event should not define a person." Hmm. Today Chris Brown took to his Twitter account and showed all of us what a second, third, fourth and fifth chance will give you. Craziness.

Just in case the screen shot is too small (and the tweets have been deleted), I'll type out the pertinent entries. Let's see, he says "Just ask Rihanna if she mad?????" If that doesn't do it for you, how about Let me leave this bitch alone... It's good to know my worth by listening to a bitch that is worthless #iwin" And if that doesn't help you see what a moron he is, how about "The funniest shit is not giving a fuck." Those don't include the instructions he gave a woman on how to suck his dick or how he wanted to shit in her eye. Yes, SHIT in her EYE. While I was writing this entry this dummy has (finally) decided that maybe Twitter is not for him and deleted his account-- though I am SURE that he will put it back up once he takes his medication.

This fool keeps showing people over and over again that he does not care about you, your momma, your sister, women in general. Yet people, particularly in the Black community, are so quick to come to his defense at every turn. Why??? He does not deserve it and the undying devotion is unintelligent and nauseating. I want to punch him in the nuts. The fact that he is so unapologetic and SO amazingly unstable SHOULD be enough for people with common sense to not fuck with this dumb ass anymore... but as we all know, common sense is not so common. The fact that he is such a pig to women, YET women continually throw themselves at him is fucking disgusting.  Shame on you supporters... and for those of you in the Black community... if you were actually more intent on BEING a role model instead of LOOKING for a role model in these so called superstars (musicians, athletes, whomever) maybe we would be better off as a community.


 

That Just Happened?!

So, we all know that i have moved back to my hometown. The streets sometimes look a little different, but mostly things are the same as they were 16 years ago-- people included. Let me type what happened last night after I got off work... when I was traumatized.

I work second shift and if I don't stop for food after work my stomach starts to eat itself while I am sleeping. Ok, that is slightly dramatic, but suffice it to say, I am starving after work. There is a Subway, not that far from my house, that is open 24 hours. I pull up in the parking lot and see someone that looks vaguely familiar. It is after 1 in the morning so I am super hesitant to say anything, but hey... I'm me, so I call out his name (which I will NOT post... BECAUSE he is a relative. Not like a first cousin or someone I have to see at reunions BUT a freaking relative nonetheless). Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hey, it has been so long since I have seen you! How are things?

Him: Good! Look at you, looking all good.

Me: (taken aback... mostly because I am still wearing my work uniform) Thanks.

Him: So, are you involved or what?

Me: (taken further aback because we are RELATED). Yes, I am involved. You never know, I might get married some day. Hahahahaha. (that would be laughing away awkwardness).

Him: Oh yeah? I'm getting married in April.

At this point, y'all, I had to leave the conversation. He commented again, twice actually, how I was "looking real good"... I said my goodbyes and exited stage left. Seriously?! As a RELATIVE, did you just hit on me? Then tell me you are getting married in 5 months? Did that really happen? I'm not ready for this crazy shit. Traumatized.

 

Election 2012 - Final Thoughts Before the Polls

So, there have been many questions sent my way, mostly asking how I could vote for Obama, since he has ruined our country. That is what the emails say... the current President has RUINED our country. Who knew? Certainly not me. I live in Ohio. The state capital, so I am... privy to every political commercial, maneuver, trick, lie and ploy on a rotating basis. The metro areas of Ohio tend to vote Democratic, however the population of the outskirts LOVE the Republicans. Ohio has a LOT of electoral votes, so what happens here generally has an effect of every election. So, why would I use my vote to keep our President in the White House? Why not go the way of some of my friends and vote for Mitt? Why is Hot, Black and Bitter endorsing Barack Obama? Here are my final thoughts on this crazy election cycle:

I am a woman and I don't like men making decisions for me. I do not believe that MEN should affect my ability to see a doctor, get birth control, use my right to receive a safe abortion, receive equal pay for a job or give birth the way that I want to. There is no way that I would vote to put someone in the White House that could threaten my rights as a woman... and Mitt Romney does NOT represent my interests as a woman. (And neither do his little cronies-- remember the comments about rape from Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, Rick Santorum and Ron Paul.)

I have lots of friends who belong to the LGBT community. I do not want to see their rights get trampled on. I do not believe that if they have the right to marry, my rights are diminished. I will never allow for the rights of a community to be taken away and say nothing. I do not believe that you can judge someone because of who they love and would love to point at right now that 55 years ago, my boyfriend and I would be unable to marry, simply because we are different races. Why would I put that burden on someone else, or vote for someone who would do that?

I did not go into the Obama Administration thinking that Barack was going to be the savior of my people. There are some (Black) people who are not going to vote for Barack because in 2008 they were touting him as a savior for the Black community. I never suffered under that delusion. I knew there was a rough road ahead AND that his agenda would not be (and should not be) a Black agenda. I'm not mad... the United States is not only made up of Black people. But I certainly will NOT be voting for a person who seems to want Black people to retake their seats at the back of the bus.

I am an animal lover... and the story about Mitt strapping his dog, in a carrier, to the roof of the family car while on vacation was too much. If you cannot respect animals, you probably have limited amounts of respect for people who are helpless (temporarily or permanently). If you are unable to be sympathetic or empathetic to someone (or something) who can do nothing for you, I find it impossible to think that you can rule effectively-- especially in these dire economic times.

Speaking of dire economic times... I really don't want to start over with some new President that does NOT have a good economic record. Massachusetts does not have a great record under Mitt Romney... and now he wants to expand his plan to 50 states? No thank you.

I also don't believe that students should have to go into debt they will never be able to crawl out from under, simply to pay for college; health care should be aright afforded to all American citizens; social welfare programs, while needing a severe makeover, are absolutely necessary and should be used for the betterment of American citizens-- not done away with; and the economy should be dealt with immediately and which ever party refuses to work towards a better economy should be penalized harshly. Lastly, I firmly believe that I (personally) am better off than I was 4 years ago. Four years ago, I was unemployed and living in a house with a mortgage that was underwater. That is not the place I am in today. Do I want things to be better? Yes. Who do I think can get me to a better place? Barack Obama.


 

Soulful Saturday - Stephanie Mills

Hello early 90s! Ok, ok... some of these songs are from the 80s. Stephanie Mills has a very unique voice and I can't help it, every time I hear her sing I picture her as Dorothy in The Wiz. (She was amazing!) This is some classic,beautiful music. Where is Stephanie?!? I need her to come out with a new album, like yesterday!! Enjoy.

Never Knew Love Like This Before


Feel The Fire




I've Learned To Respect The Power of Love

(Um, this song playing means I will be singing at the top of my lungs... so be prepared)

** I need you; I want you beside me. I trust you; I believe in you. I adore you... I love you so**


I Feel Good All Over

**You and I have what lovers dream about.**

Election 2012 - Voting Rights

Exactly one week from today America will elect a President. I have been following the election coverage, the debates, the gaffs, the lies and everything in between; and have purposely remained silent as it has played out. Well, I can't say that I have remained completely silent. If you follow on Twitter or Facebook, then you know how I lean politically. Hell, if you go back to the 2008 posts, I am sure that my political leanings are evident. As a newly (re)minted Ohioan, I realize exactly how important an impact I have on this election, personally. I realize that some people think that voting is a conspiracy of some sort. With the ability to spout "opinions" all over the internet, via facebook, twitter, blogs, instagram, etc. I have seen so many of the following: "My vote doesn't count", "I'm not voting for either of these morons"...

Here in Hot, Black and Bitter land the act of NOT voting is NOT an option. With all that is going on in the world today, the LEAST I can do is vote... and I will. As I look back on the history of the United States, I do see (and take to heart) the sacrifices that have been made so that I can go to a polling place and cast my ballot for the candidate that I believe will attempt to fight for my best interests. I know that it was not so long ago that I, as a Black woman, would not have been able to cast my vote. I know that people have given the ultimate sacrifice (soldiers, protesters, extraordinary people living their daily lives) so that next Tuesday I can wait in line and vote for the President of the United States.

 I will make sure that I honor that sacrifice next week. Gladly, I will wait in line (coffee in hand) so that I can do my patriotic duty. Pictures will be taken. Hey-- I LOVE those 'I voted' stickers they give out. What can I say? :)

 I have also seen several news outlets that have given their recommendations for who to vote for. Here in Columbus, our (ONLY) newspaper, the Columbus Disappointment, er, Dispatch has endorsed Mitt Romney... um, because they are crazy. So, I am sure that I will use the posts to come to explain my pick, but here it is: Hot, Black and Bitter's endorsement for President: Barack Obama.


 

The Problem with Bullies

Last week, I watched the heartbreaking video that is below. I watched it because after this video was placed on YouTube; after this 15 year old girl poured out her heart in this silent film; after the bullying continued, Amanda Todd, the featured Canadian teenager, committed suicide to quiet the bullies that ran her life. Fifteen years old... she literally had the rest of her whole life, the best times of her life, ahead of her. She hadn't experience falling in love, high school graduation, college, marriage, her first real job, moving out of her parents' house, making her first car payment... you know those huge milestones. She won't ever get to see her 21st birthday or kiss her parents again.

 The problem with bullies is: no one thinks there is a problem until another child dies. No one screams until the bad behavior leads to a death of an innocent child. And even after the death of a child; a child who will miss out on all the things that we all look forward to, the comments on the video are inexcusable. People are so sensitive about things that they think affect them, but once they think a situation doesn't affect them, the compassion that any human SHOULD have, is gone. Our teenage years should not be about Survival of the Fittest... that is what adult life is for. Parents should not allow their children to torment kids that don't fit in. Children should be a little more gracious with each other... and you know where they would get that? Their parents.

 My thought is this: we all hold a hand in this and stories like Amanda Todd. We have all called someone out of their name, or tried to make their day harder than it needs to be. We have all made someone cry or feel bad. We have all been responsible for making at least one person feel less important, at some point in our lives and it in now everyones responsibility to make that portion of the "growing up" experience stop. It is unnecessary and only leads to more pain. Hurt people- at some point- hurt people. Nip the cycle in the bud. Talk to your children. Be Proactive.

Yeah, I Don't Trust You

I work in a factory... for a company that will remain nameless. In this factory, I am bombarded with all kinds of people, every day. It is kind of weird. I mean, in an office setting you might have one or two people who are vastly different than everyone else... be it education, upbringing, etc. But in a factory environment, you have the possibility of standing next to someone who owns a farm, is a veteran, proud owner of a super serious gun collection, an avid hunter, a conservative, a liberal, a vegan. I mean, seriously, every walk of life, every extreme and all are very willing to talk about it (of course). I mostly don't mind most of my co-workers. I mean, we are there to make a product and I can actively ignore someone-- I am VERY good at that. However, I have run across some people at this job who deserve a humongous slap across the face... and what a better way to give it to them than on this blog. Who am I talking about? Below are just a few examples of people that I want to tell (very loudly) "um, yeah, I don't trust you."

 Perfume/Cologne: Dude, we work in a factory. Seriously? You should not smell like you are headed to the club. I should not choke when you walk by. Who the fuck are you trying to impress? It is called take a shower, put on deodorant and bring your ass to work. All that extra... keep it.

Camel Toe: Yes we wear uniforms. Yes we can request a bigger size. Yes, you should do that if I can see your heart beat through your pants. How uncomfortable is that? I mean seriously... GROSS!!! Ladies, I should not be able to see your labia through your clothes. Guys, I should not be able to see the outline of your penis. Get it together.

 Long Fingernails: even outside of the factory environment, long fingernails is severely disgusting, but long, grease filled, ragged fingernails make me want to vomit. If I can't look at your hands without almost losing my breakfast, I don't trust you.

"Mean Girls" Phenom: Um, reliving your broken hearted high school days at work is a no no. I don't care if you were the lonely nerd walking the halls or the cheerleader who was fucking the quarterback- this is a job. A job we all have to do and taking out your feelings on people around you; talking shit; acting like it is your way or the highway... let's all be better than that.

Gossiper: yuck, grow up. WE all know that if you talk shit TO us you are probably talking shit ABOUT us. Please join the camel toe lady at the end of the line.

The Know It All: If you feel it necessary to tell me how to do everything, yet you have had the same job for 11 years and have not moved up in the company, never had a promotion, never gotten a raise, SHUT UP. Take your own advice and do something with your life. Know that you might know it all... but I don't trust you.


 

Today's Inspiration

I don't care who you are, this is amazing. She is amazing and this speech gives me goosebumps. Take politics out of it and LISTEN to the story that the FLOTUS is telling you. Simply AMAZING.

Soulful Saturday - Showing Some Ohio LOVE

Ah, being back in Ohio has aided my memory of all the things I love about this state-- and some things I absolutely can not stand. The things I can't stand are very few in number... :) One thing I cannot get enough of is the music made by lovely, proud Ohioans in groups that were developed in my home state. Groups that I love listening to, grooving to, making memories to. Love, love, love, showing Ohio love to the members of these groups who have walked where I've walked, seen the things/places that I have seen, loved the state of Ohio... like I love it! :)

The Ohio Players - Sweet, Sticky Thing
(Dayton, OH)



Zapp and Roger - I Wanna Be Your Man
(Dayton, OH)

 


The Isley Brothers - For The Love of You
(Cincinnati, OH)



The Deele - Two Occasions
(Cincinnati, OH)
** some of these people should look very familiar (like Babyface and LA Reid...)




Over the Rhine - Latter Days
(Cincinnati, OH)

Soulful Saturday - Tony! Toni! Tone!

Welcome back!! ;) Summer is fun, time is at a premium and things are falling into place. I see bloggers perpetually apologizing for their lack of posts during these wonderfully warm months, but I am not going to do that. I firmly believe that reconnecting with loved ones, fitness, passions should be done during the longer, sun filled days of summer. My summer days have been filled with just that... and a new job. I am having a blast and I hope that the readers of this blog are too! With that said, I did have some extra time today to post some fab music that will hopefully make this beautiful Saturday go well for y'all... and maybe lead to some trouble-- the good variety! :)


It Never Rains in Southern California





Whatever You Want *Girl, you know I can provide...  
Slow Wine *All my body is yours

 

Anniversary *Victoria won't be no secret at the end of the day

 

Lay Your Head On My Pillow

Today in What The...?!?!

Ahhhh, I feel like I have been gone so long!! I am settling into life in Columbus, remembering why I love some old haunts and finding new ones. My life has been consumed with visiting family, loving up on my friends and looking for a job. I have also been keeping up with the news-- Chicago and the national news. My general thought process when reading the news is "Oh my God, really?" This week? No exception. Four prime examples follow:

This week in the amazingly stupid: 

1- "Shackle Shoes" by Adidas. Hmmm. Do the shoes themselves upset me? No. After seeing them, I know I would never purchase them or any other Adidas shoes, ever again. Does it make me mad because these shoes reference slavery or somehow makes me have flashbacks of running towards the Underground Railroad by moonlight? Nope. What makes me most upset is that if Adidas had not pulled these sneakers, I have a sneaky suspicion that certain people would make them a top seller. In fact, I read some comments online that said "I'd buy these, they are cute." Idiots. The fact remains that we (read: Black people) cannot be exploited by companies without participating in the exploitation. We have buying power. We have voices to say "no." We should also have common sense to teach our children that shackle shoes are not cute, nor should they be considered for purchase. We can't always play the victims, folks. We are responsible for what we teach the next generation, where we place value and how we participate in consumerism.

2- The Rutgers student who caused the death of his roommate by spying and telling all his (gay) business, has been released from jail... after 20 days. Twenty days? That is how much a life is worth? What a fabulous message to send to the next nosy, stalker roommate that intends to out someone. Just for everyone's information-- unless YOU are coming out, you should not worry about outing anyone else. That is a personal journey that belongs to the person that is going through it. All of that to say: mind your own freaking business. Trust me: most of us have MORE than enough going on in our own lives to keep us busy. And if you don't... I'll give you half my bills... 

3- The Ku Klux Klan is now kinder? They are adopting highways and claiming that they don't hate anyone... they only prefer the company of white people. Ok. Who believes that? If you do-- jump in your closest river (or large body of water) and I hope you can't swim. People who believe this blatant lie are the same people who believe that all politicians always have their constituents best interests in mind. Listen, if it walks, talks and acts like a duck, I expect lots of quacks. If you join a hate organization, it is because you hate someone or something. Do not try to dress it up as something else. Just say you don't like minorities and get off on violating people's Civil Rights. I mean, why else would you join the KKK? 

4- Rielle Hunter is releasing a tell all book. Reportedly, some portion of the book has some disparaging remarks about the late Elizabeth Edwards. OK, let me rephrase that: side chick Rielle Hunter, is releasing a tell-all book, where she has the audacity to talk shit about a dead woman whose husband she was banging. Clearly, authors can write about whatever moves them, and really people have written about worse things... I guess. But damn, where is her shame?!?! I mean really? You sleep with a married man- while his wife is suffering from a cancer relapse, have his baby, lie about it and then talk shit after the wife dies? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that that Hunter lady deserves a good slap... in the face... with a chair.

Let's all try to practice some more common sense, shall we? Great.

I Have A Secret

I have been a little reclusive lately. I have been writing, but not posting; flaking out on my friends and not keeping appointments. Essentially, I have been a mess. There is a reason. I have been busy... keeping a secret. For the last seven and a half years, life has been... consistent.

On January 1, 2005, I moved to the Chicagoland area and almost immediately fell in love. I love the food (not shocking for those of you who know me) and the access to the city. On certain days, I even love the people that live here, shocking, I know. I've grown to accept that February through April will probably be so cold that the first couple of breaths I take when I walk outside will make me question whether my trip is actually necessary; that trips to the grocery store will be ridiculously expensive; and that any sort of traffic ticket will likely aid in putting you in the poor house. I don't bat an eye when a drink costs as much as a ticket to the movies or there is "free" entertainment on the el. I don't think it is 100% weird when someone on a street corner tries to sell me socks or ice cold water on very warm days. I just think it comes with the territory. These are the things that make the city consistent.

For better or worse, this secret is making me break out of the consistency of my life and begin anew. The most consistent thing in life is the idea that life is consistently changing. By the time you read this, my change will already be in full swing. My secret is that I am leaving Chicago. For the last two months (almost) I have been making plans to move back to my hometown-- closer to family, best friends and all that comes with that. Chicago has been my home for the majority of my adult life. I will miss the friends that I have made. I'll miss my favorite haunts in the city and more than I would like to admit, I will miss the city. With all her faults there is no other place that I would have wanted to spend these years. This Queen on Lake Michigan has given me tons of laughs and even more tears. I bought my first home here; struck out on my own here; and stubbornly made my way... here.

I've had great jobs and shitty ones- same with bosses... same with acquaintances. I've met people that I will be in contact with for the rest of my life, and those whose information won't make the move back to Ohio. I carry some of you in my heart and some of you are permanently on the bottom of my shoes. My love runs deep; my appreciation for the life lessons runs even deeper. As I pack another box, I remember you all- most of you fondly; hoping beyond hope that I have made an impact on Chicago, since she has definitely made one on me. Farewell Chicago. I look forward to seeing you again someday.


 

Just Call Me Captain Save a Hoe!!

So, generally, I am not the nicest person. Especially on my commute to and from work. I just don't have time to be cordial, what with all of my... judging and picture taking. That's right, I said it! If you look a mess, please trust and believe that I have talked about you on facebook, twitter and I may have even taken some pics. You deserve it. There are mirrors all around, but I digress. Today, instead of spending my time taking pictures of the fashionably challenged I took action, y'all!! Story below. I walked on the bus (one of several that lets me off on the end of my street-- hey, don't judge my laziness) and I see them. Two "ladies" of African American descent were at the front of the bus- one was extremely pregnant and they were joined by three children... one of whom was in a stroller. You know I bypassed them as quickly as possible, right? We all know that I cannot stand bad ass kids, so I couldn't chance it! It was a long bus (think two buses, joined together) and I sat next to the back door- far away from the possibility of screaming children. I sat down, turned on my kindle, pretended to read and starting my... eye sweep of the bus, searching for a fashion victim. The bus crept along State Street in relative silence, but just as it turned onto Lake I heard this gruff, weird voice. I swear the first sentence was "What? You just want someone to pay for you? Fucking faggot." Um, guess who shot into action? Yes. He got exactly two more sentences out of his hate filled mouth before I shot out of my seat. There was the random "fuck", "scum"... He might have actually said "I pay taxes so you can do nothing, stupid scum." I had enough. No one was saying anything-- and I think that may have upset me the most. The bus was turning onto Michigan Avenue and I got up and made the voyage from the back of the bus. As I got up, I noticed that an elderly woman also got up from her seat and went to complain to the bus driver. Me? I go straight to the annoying source. Hanging onto the strategically placed straps, I make my way to the offender. He is drooling (actually drooling) and spewing out hurtful shit. I walked up to him and said "Sir, stop talking to them like that before I call the police." That kind of took the air out of his jaws for half a second. He points his finger at the woman and continues to yell. I tell him to shut up and that I am calling the cops. When I tell you that there was absolute silence on the bus at this time... you could have heard a pin drop. He takes his flip phone (OMG- please get rid of all flip phones... seriously) and told me that I could call from his phone because those women were freeloading scum. My response? "Um, no-- I will call from my own phone, which your tax dollars do not pay for." Jeez-- I might be an asshole! :) The bus driver started to slow down. Our voices got louder. He kept talking, I kept countering. He threw down some more "f" bombs... but never at me. My last sentence to him? "I don't care. You don't know her and there are children on this bus while you curse like a moron. Get off the bus." He did. Yeah. As I headed back to my seat a girl said "thank you for sticking up for her." I nodded in her general direction, put my phone back in my pocket and headed toward my home in the back of the bus. As I get comfy again in my seat (still far away from the kids) a guy says "Thank you for doing that. None of us had the guts to say anything." I looked at him and said the most sincere answer I could come up with on the spot: "Yeah, well all it takes is a short girl with a Napoleon complex to control a CTA bus." Today was a good day.

Soulful Saturday - Gerald Levert

I am showing some Ohio love this Saturday. Gerald Levert, aka the Teddy Bear. From northern Ohio (Cleveland area), Gerald was born to some serious R&B royalty. Eddie Levert (from the O'Jays) brought up two singers, Gerald and his brother, Sean-- both of whom are deceased. The two Levert boys put together a group with their friend (Levert) but Gerald's solo efforts are in a class all by themselves. Silky smooth voice. Poignant lyrics. Love for family. From Ohio. What is not to love about this guy?

Unfortunately, Gerald was not long for this Earth. He passed away in 2006 at the age of 40. He left a great catalog of R&B goodness. Let's check it out.

Let's start this off with one of Gerald's BEST songs (in my opinion). It was released after he passed away and this song speaks to the small romantic portion of my personality. It is absolutely beautiful and talks about the search for the love of your life. That thing that most of us search for most of our lives. Sadly, some of us never find it. Regardless, a wonderful song- full of passion- kinda like my future husband, whoever that is! :)

In My Songs
**If I could only find the love I sing about... when I sing my songs.**
I wanna be with somebody who can share my ups and downs, & when they're feeling bad I can be the one to make her smile. Make her realize that I'm the special guy I sing about... If I could only find the love I sing about.

 Baby, Hold On To Me (duet with his dad, Eddie)

 I'd Give Anything (aka My personal motto)

I Can't Help Myself


My Body (collaboration with Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill) aka HOT, HOT, HOT! :)

School Me (uh, what y'all know about this?!?!)


Wind Beneath My Wings (duet with his dad, Eddie) Note: if I could make it through the song without crying, I would totally sing this to my parents. Over and over. Best.Remake.Ever

Throwing Each Other to the Wolves?

A little over a year ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a Chicago icon. A true Chicago icon. Someone who makes a difference in people's lives EVERY day. Someone who touches thousands with her story, her struggles with AIDS, medication, and people who misinterpret her message-- Ms. Rae Lewis-Thornton. Now listen, I am not one for blowing smoke up people's asses. I don't really flip out about celebrities (except for Prince, Eddie Vedder, Zac Efron, David Beckham and Ralph from New Edition... you know, all the people I want to have love children with). Generally, I just think that they are just like every day people. They get lost in their own shit, just like I do. They wake up, go to sleep, eat (well some of those hoes don't eat, but again, I digress) all like we do; it just so happens that they get paid (large amounts of money in some cases) to sing, dance, act or whatever the hell they do. I say that to say, I wouldn't call Rae a Chicago icon, if I didn't really think she was.

 Icon status goes to her because she is so crystal clear with her message. The way that she speaks, writes and vlogs is just so... truthful. It is real, y'all. She has no problem tweeting, blogging and telling whoever will listen that she is a Diva with AIDS. She has a no holds barred kind of approach (kinda like my approach) and she shows the faith that she has, her good days AND her bad. She doesn't mince words- curse words, bad words, good words- whatever it takes to get the point across-- You always know what you are going to get with Rae and THAT is the thing that I love about her outreach. You know that no matter what you WANT to see, how pretty you WANT her explanation to be, she is going to give it to you straight and honest. Plus, she is a dog mom (absolutely AMAZING).

Rae is on a countdown to turning 50. (Go girl!) She puts up videos and tells about her day. Right now she is on an IV medication that is slowing her down a bit, so when I clicked to watch today's video and saw a sad face, that is what I thought the topic would be about. Oh no. Today Rae took to the airwaves to say that her honorary membership in a Black sorority has been revoked. Now- full disclosure- I am not a member of a sorority, black or otherwise. Some of my friends are and they absolutely enjoy it. I know the tenets of the Black sororities because I once thought of joining and I wanted to be able to make an educated decision about which organization would be the best fit for me, but again, I am not a member of any sorority-- and I am not going to post the name of the sorority that rescinded Rae's membership (I'll post her video).

 Rae says that the reason for the revocation of her membership was vulgarity. Now, let me say this, as noted about Rae is crystal clear with her message. She meets people where they are. She uses words that I use :) and from speaking with her, the night we met, it is my understanding that she/her message/her words haven't changed much in the 29 years that she has been an HIV/AIDS advocate. If that is true, has this sorority kicked Rae out because of the delivery of her message? If they are claiming that she is vulgar, but she hasn't changed her format, why would they have offered her membership to begin with? If her format has not changed, is it right for them to rescind her membership now? Knowing of some women in their rosters (both honorary and regular membership) who have not always been poster children for pure living, including extensive drug use, several out of wedlock children, behavior that was seen as less than lady like-- have any of those women had their membership rescinded? Has any of their behaviors been categorized as "vulgar"? Or is it JUST Rae? One of this organizations points of interest is Physical and Mental Health... don't they NEED the likes of Rae Lewis-Thornton? Don't they NEED someone like her to teach our children that sex today has consequences, some of which never go away? Don't they need her crystal clear, no holds barred message to be shouted from the rooftops in order to help their objective of bettering the African-American community? Have they used her for all that they could and have now thrown her to the wolves? IS THIS ACCEPTABLE? And if it is- are these sororities and fraternities really working towards the betterment of the Black community? You decide.
 

Soulful Saturday - Jeffrey Osborne

Soulful Saturday... it has been a while. I figured I better come with something (someone) spectacular after taking such a long break from writing and posting music. Hmmmm-- who could take on that kind of responsibility?! I came up with a few names and landed on Jeffrey Osborne. I mean, seriously, how can 'On the Wings of Love' be beat? It can't! :)

  You Should Be Mine (The Woo-Woo Song)

  Stay With Me Tonight

  The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

  On the Wings of Love (Live)

Fed Up Friday - Fakers and the Ungrateful

So... Hello. I am back! I've been writing for the past three weeks, but have also been suffering through some rough times. Rough times usually equal taking care of others who are affected by the bad times and taking better care of yourself so you make it through. Rough times let you know just where you are in your life... who you can trust and who deserves the designation of "acquaintance." Acquaintance... the fail safe category. We all have acquaintances-- um, we don't all have friends. Hard times, a new life, a death, new riches, hard decisions and even betterment of self-- all of these things will bring out the best AND worst in people. These situations WILL let you know where you stand with people. You will find out who your friends are and who considers YOU an acquaintance. The ungrateful and the fake will not withstand anyone else's rough times... they can barely make it through theirs. Haven't had any rough times lately? Good!! I hope that streak continues. Since you may not have experienced fakers and the ungrateful lately, let me give you a few examples.

UNGRATEFUL

Have you ever met someone that is just not happy about anything? I mean, I am Hot, Black and Bitter but I have fabulous days. I'm not bitter all the time, every day... just most of the time! :) But I have people that communicate with me who are unhappy EVERY, single day. I mean you can say "good morning" and these are the people that will ask "what is so good about it?" I'm not talking about people who have hit a rough patch, have a crappy job, abusive relationship, real problems. I'm talking about the people who will take to Twitter and Facebook and complain about stupid shit every day. Can't find an outfit for your date? Your favorite shoes got muddy? The guy you liked asked out your friend? The sun didn't shine on your ass this morning? Ahhhh- we don't care. You know what, you selfish bastards? Some people that you passed yesterday did not have the privilege of waking up today. You woke up in order to complain. I get that your job is bad-- um, isn't everyone's? But how about this: you have a job. Especially in this economic climate. There are children that go to sleep hungry. Women who have to sell their body to make money to feed their families. Men who are being driven to steal to feed themselves. Whole families that are homeless and living on the streets of YOUR city. So stop your bitching. Damn.

FAKERS

Uh, you are NOT a model. You are NOT a baller. You are NOT half of what you proclaim and you are NOT friends with all your online "friends." See here is the deal- there are people who will pretend to have everything that they think others want them to have. They strive for social perfection; saying the right things, buying the right things, having the right significant other or the right job. They do things they aren't interested in if it gets them to the top. They are master manipulators, always pushing the buttons of the ones that they want or don't want around. It is sad that at this age, some of my peers are still finding it hard to be themselves. You know, everyone should find someone who loves them for them. Someone who doesn't care that you don't spend a small fortune in the Spring and Fall on your wardrobe. Someone who thinks it is cute when you stay in for the night to read or do laundry. Someone who just gets YOU. Faking it till you make it only works for on job training, let's all remember that.

I guess that after dealing with this death in my extended family I am a serious proponent of living every day to the fullest. Who has time to complain all day? Who has time to pretend to be something you're not? Who has time to feed the egos of people you don't care about and who don't care about you? Why would you put yourself through the changes? Do the stuff that makes you happy. Be around the people that make you happy and show support when you need it. I'm not talking about online support; I'm talking about being there, calling you, making sure that you are making it. And for God's sake: be you.

Why I Won't Sign Your Trayvon Martin Petition

So, this blog has been relatively silent in the last couple of weeks. I have seen some things go down in the media and have chosen to keep my opinion to myself so far... until today. I thought about writing this entry a couple of days ago, but wanted to sleep on the idea, because I am sure that it will not be well received. Eh, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. The following is my opinion on the Trayvon Martin (TM) situation taking place in Florida. For all that don't know, TM was an unarmed, Black 17 year old boy that was walking home in Florida and was shot and killed by a neighborhood watch member, George Zimmerman. The killing took place on February 26.

Let me just start by saying this: Do I believe that George Zimmerman should be arrested? YES. Do I think that he killed TM, in cold blood, for no reason other than his own demented issues? YES. Do I think that Zimmerman was racially motivated? YES. Do I think that the Sanford, Florida police fucked up the investigation, topped off by the fact that they did not arrest Zimmerman the vigilante? DOUBLE YES. Do I feel sympathy towards TM's family? Absolutely YES. Will I sign your petition to get "justice" for TM? No. No, I won't and I want you to STOP asking me. Listen, I am not going to feel bad about it either. I will not be bullied on social media to sign some shit, just so some of you assholes can feel good about your regular non-action, and I don't care. How about that?

People are all up in arms because Zimmerman is a non-Black man that shot a young Black man down in the streets. According to all accounts, TM was minding his own business, walking home from a convenience store and did not deserve being shot. People have said this is an onslaught, by the enemy, on the Black community. I disagree. The fact is this: this is not the beginning of the battle- the war has been ongoing and it STARTS and ENDS in our own community. I guess that the thing that pisses me off is that while the situation is ridiculous and should have never happened, the outcry would not be as loud if Zimmerman were a Black man. You may ask why I think that... um, because innocent Black children, in Black neighborhoods are killed every day, by Black people and there are no petitions on facebook, there are no vigils on college campuses, there is no national news coverage. There is just another Black child dead-- usually a young man. George Zimmerman is not the beginning of the American public showing their ultimate disgust with the Black community; he is not the start of the epidemic; not the start of the systematic destruction of the Black community. You know why? Because we do it ourselves-- EVERY day. To me, Zimmerman is just a cog in a machine... a machine that is run by Black folks.

Where was the outrage for Aliyah Shell last weekend in Chicago? What about the other 9 people slain this past weekend? Or the 49 injured in random shootings in the city? Where was the community concern for them? Do they not count because they were (most likely) shot by someone who looks like them? Are the stories of the families any less sad than that of TM's family? Did they deserve it? If not, then where are their petitions? Where is their national news coverage? Where are the YouTube videos seeking justice for them? They. Are. Nonexistent. And that, above all else, is the unfortunate part. Is racism alive and well in the United States of America? Land of the free... Home of the brave? ABSOLUTELY. That cannot/should not be denied. Being a Black woman, I see it. Life as a minority is hard; a lot harder than people think. It is hard to keep your head held high every day. It is difficult to take the high road. It is not easy to be me... and I don't have it bad, by any stretch of the imagination. But hard doesn't mean impossible and it certainly doesn't mean that we can call for someone to be held accountable for THEIR actions, while our actions go unchecked. We aren't holding each other accountable every day in the ghetto and suburbs. Every day, in Chicago and other major cities in America, Black men and women are killed and maimed by other Black men and women... to no fanfare. We let that go. Shit, I let it go. I pass that off as ghetto life-- I am telling you, I'm guilty. So are some of my friends. So are some of the people that are so up in arms about TM.

I'm not saying that there shouldn't be protests, petitions, marches, national attention. There should be. There should be for TM... AND Aliyah-- a six year old who was shot while sitting on her porch. There should be for the unnamed child that will die tonight, tomorrow, next week and during the hottest months this summer. The strongest community takes criticism and fixes its weakest link. The weakest link in the Black community is that there is NO community... not until someone like George Zimmerman enters the picture. Then everyone wants to come together; show some unity against "the man." What about the gangbangers who sell drugs IN our community? They are killing Black people. What about the babies that are beat/shook/molested to death by people in our own community? They are killing our future and our spirit. What about the people in our community who see crime happen and don't tell the police? They are facilitating the death of our community. What about those who commit crimes? They are killing us by feeding the stereotype of what Black people do. What about the young Black man that will pick up a gun tonight and shoot a young Black man walking down the street? That will happen in Chicago, the city where I live, probably in the next 24-48 hours.  The shooter should be held just as responsible as George Zimmerman, and the young man shot should be mourned just as much as TM.

The way that others treat us is a direct reflection on how we treat each other. We cannot expect to see a change in any other group, until we are open and willing to change ourselves... so, how do YOU treat people in OUR community? What are you willing to do to change?

Wordless Wednesday - Spring Time!

Found HERE.

Monday, Bald Monday

So, this weekend... I did something amazing! There was a fundraiser, there is a shaved head. There will be a cure! For those of you who don't know-- this weekend I was a "shavee" in a St. Baldrick's event. For those of you who don't know, St. Baldrick's is a charity that fund raises for a cure for childhood cancers. Fundraising, head shaving, helping out kiddos-- what is not to like, right? Right!! :) I got this button when I checked in... how cool is that?!

My friend and I planned accordingly-- we took a before picture, while we were at lunch. Here I am, smiling before eating the world's biggest baked potato (topped with broccoli cheddar soup, cheese and fresh broccoli) at Jason's Deli... yeah, how good does that sound? I know-- I'd be jealous of the food too! :) This picture is of me with my natural hair (see, I don't have long hair-- all the time!), with a twist out and a lovely head band. Me, not typing furiously over my MacBook... oh, take it in, while you can! 

A few hours later, I made my way to the stage, sat in the same row as a grandpa, a high school girl and several elementary school students. I have to say that I am thoroughly impressed with my noggin-- no dips, dents or other random looking deformities to obsess over now that I have an exposed scalp. (yay!) It was amazing to see everyone that came out. There were somewhere in the area of 1,200 people. The event planners wanted to raise $25,000, and from an email we all received today, that goal was vaporized!! We are waiting for final numbers, but we know that we did surpass $25,000. I, also, surpassed my goal-- which is amazingly beautiful. A special thanks to all of my friends and family who have supported me throughout this process, emotionally and financially. I am so glad that we could all come together and help out some families that need it, ensuring that sometime, somewhere, a child will perhaps live a bit longer because of some research that we helped fund. For now, you guys get to hang out with my, as my hair grows back! Love, love, love. Here is the final product...

How is that for some sassy baldness? ;-)