Just Breathe

I have joined the ranks of complainers. I am not talking about the occasional "Oh, why did this situation have to happen to me?" type complaining either. I am talking about "Can I pick up my life after this?" type complaining. The type of self questioning that is rare in Miss Mox's life. The kind that comes with an immense sadness about where some things are headed.

At first I thought, ok maybe it is just the change in weather. Here in what used to be sunny Chicago the seasons are definitely a-changing! Some night temps have dipped into the 40s, leaves are starting to fall, grass isn't really growing anymore (ok- that is a great thing, but you get the idea). But after some reflection I realize that it is not the colder temps. You know, not having a job, but looking- all the time- is hard to take. Getting rid of the few luxuries you have so you can stay afloat is hard. Being happy when life as you know is changing dramatically is really hard. And two days ago, I was tired of the 'hard'. There are only so many times I can tell myself that things are going to be ok and still continue to believe it. Sometimes I feel like there are only so many smiles I have left to give to someone who tells me that this is 'only temporary.' I don't want 'only temporary' I want an income... a stipend... hell, an allowance. Urgh! And before I start receiving crazy emails/comments- please, please, please do NOT complain to me about hating your job. You have a job and that is more than what me a few million other people can say. I mean, I understand that you might have to do some shit you don't want to do or that your boss is a jackass, or that you hate that you have to be there- I get it, we have all felt that way. But just know- staying at home ain't no walk in the park. Being exposed to a life without a salary is NOT fun... and trust me- unemployment benefits, while I am grateful for them, don't come CLOSE to the the salary I used to make. For those reasons, please know that someone will ring up those groceries in your place; someone will answer those phone calls; somebody will deal with your boss- with a smile on her face. You know why? Because someone is losing their house because they can't pay the mortgage. Someone is trying to figure out how they can keep all their utilities on; someone is trying to think of some creative ways to feed their family. It is not about retaining luxuries at this point, ladies and gentlemen. It is about being able to survive... food in your stomach, clothes on your back, roof over your head. Watch the news, look at those numbers- those are your neighbors suffering. Your extended family members, your friends. Those percentages aren't empty numbers... they represent people that you know- people you know well.

Also, I don't want to hear that there are jobs everywhere, because that horse shit is not true. I have a college degree, work experience and an MBA- and so do a million other unemployed people. How many times have I applied at grocery stores, gyms, dog walking services, etc. and been told that I am overqualified? Countless. So, before I get ANYMORE emails telling me that there are jobs available that privileged Americans just don't want to take- go screw yourself! I don't care what I have to do- cook (no one really wants that), clean, cashier, stock girl. College degree or not, I want to be self sufficient. I don't want to live off the system, I want to make my own way. I want to pay my own bills (good thing too, because they are mounting); I want to live a life where I don't have to contemplate moving back to Ohio, I don't have to think about living with a roommate, I don't have to make payment arrangements- on everything. I want to be able to pay the bills when they come in and enjoy the satisfaction of working a full day, coming home exhausted and getting up the next day to do the same damn thing, as a productive member of society.

SO, a couple days ago I was passenger number 1 on the "this is why my life sucks" train. I was listening to music (as usual) to get me out of my funk and this song came on. And the clouds parted, the sun came out and it all made sense... ok, nothing that dramatic, but I did feel better and was inspired to write this ode to my fellow unemployeds. Like the song says "if I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me- threatening the life it belongs to."

What I am learning throughout this whole journey of unemployment is patience- and I HATE it. You know I am a confident, driven person. I am used to seeing what I want, working hard and getting it. This delayed response in driving me up the freaking wall. But like this song says I need to just breathe. No amount of tears is going to make me find that ever elusive job (yeah- it used to be the ever elusive dream job, now getting a permanent, full time job is a dream). No amount of angry face is going to make this any better- and it doesn't make me feel better- in the long run. I am tired of being bitter betty. She sucks. So, like I have to remind myself every 2 months or so, onward and upward.

Key Lyrics:
*You can't jump the track; we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
*No one can find the Rewind button
*There's a light at each end of the tunnel, cuz you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
*If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.

America: land of the free and home of the brave

It has been a couple years since I commented on September 11, what it means to me and what it means to this country. I think that with all that is going on and being proposed this year, I should take the time to add my two cents to the conversation. As I sit at my friend's computer, trying to wrap my head around these feelings that I have had 9 years to try to absorb, I find that again- I am speechless. Face it- we all know that is not usual. A lack of words flowing from my head, to fingers, to computer screen. If nothing else I have an opinion, right? If nothing else I will call someone a dumbass, or talk about how their decisions will not be ok with me, my budget, my life, my neighborhood... right?
The unspeakable acts that happened on THAT day, while I was getting ready for my very first Property class in law school- those acts leave me breathless, wordless; the ability to put sentences together is gone. To watch the coverage of it in my small rented house in Lansing, Michigan, seeing soot covered faces of ordinary people searching for their loved ones, crying as they recounted their last moments with their missing person. It is almost unbearable to write about 9 years later. It is just as unbelievable, just as hurtful, and I am just as wordless as I was in 2001. May God look upon favorably and hold in his arms those affected by the attack.

What has happened in the last nine years?

As seen by current news stories... a lot has happened to America, our state of mind and our intolerance. As stated above, I hate what happened in NYC nine years ago. God forgive me, I hate the people that did it. Nine years later, I hate those people. Those specific people whose selfish act brought pain to the doorsteps of every red-blooded American- I have no love in my heart for them. Zero. But you know what warmed my heart? The sight of ALL those American flags during the weeks and months after the attack. The camaraderie that everyone picked up. I loved how, even for a half of a second, being neighborly didn't just mean that you lived and got along with the people next door. We all came together and showed a united front. I venture to say that united front is gone.

In nine years everyone has settled back into the comfortable niches that they are accustomed to. Only on days like this do we bother with each other's stories of overcoming. We are quick- a little too quick- to step on someone to get ahead. I see it every day with this crazy economy that we are living with. The hate that I feel for those who brought this pain is shared with those who feed an intolerance that has engulfed some of my fellow Americans. The friendliness has started to diminish; the helpfulness is hard to find; there are Americans that feed the flame of hatred that is beginning to eat away at our country. The camaraderie is not 100% gone... often we show it to other nations, but, as a whole, we are not showing it to your neighbors. Too often I see that personal prejudices are getting in the way. This week in the news was full of ignorant people- unfortunately. That kind of thinking gets us no where, and I am saddened that around this day of remembrance that type of hatred even made news. If you follow me on Twitter, you know exactly where I stand in reference to the mosque and the "pastor"...

As noted above, I (as an outsider, meaning I had no immediate family or friends that died in the attack) still feel the pain of September 11, 2001. I feel it like it happened yesterday- not 9 years ago. What I wish for America is that we not only remember the pain but we remember and hold tightly to the hope that we shared after the attack. Remember the determination to show why America is such a great country; the bonds that we shared with those in our neighborhood, our city, state, region. Remember the pride you felt when honoring all the first responders, that hope that gave you butterflies when you saw the firemen from your city packing up food and supplies and driving to NYC to help anyway they could. Remember those tears you cried when all news stations played the National Anthem, while panning out on New York neighborhoods with flags on every doorstep. Remember that something horrendous happened and our country banded together and got through it. Remember that it was (and is) our similar qualities that makes us a working unit and our differences that make us unstoppable. Remember. Remember. Remember.

I'm watching you! :)

Since winter seems like a lifetime here in Chicago, summertime is the season for lots of outdoor activities. Hot weather equals less clothing (not always a good thing), more people outside, and definitely more bad behavior. It is like the hot, humid weather suppresses some people's (limited) good sense. Here's the problem: I see you! Quite often, I comment on your behavior. I think I am funny, some may disagree, but some of my facebook status updates are so good that I condense them and put them on Twitter. I just can't help myself. It is free ammunition; free entertainment- and I must admit... I love it. Below are some of the top status updates for the last few weeks. Watch out Chicagoans, I see you! ;)

"Dear girls in the Target parking lot: despite your current argument, it is safe to say that Usher is not talking about you when he sings 'There goes my baby.' Now let's use our inside voices, aka our let's not embarrass ourselves voices."

"Almost nothing trashier than seeing a parent smoking with kids in the car with the windows rolled up. SMH."

"Note: STOP IT with the mohawks. That shit ain't cute and most of y'all can't pull it off. For real."

"The only dog that wants to kiss me is the one that ate a mystery substance in the backyard. Um, I *don't* think so, my friend."

"Hey lady crossing the street: like my dad says- your ass is not a bumper. You wanna make it a little quicker across the street? See, this is when love taps should be allowed. :/"

Finally, from today: "Hey lady in front of me: that big ass sign that says 'no turn on red' is not a suggestion. I am sure that good officer that just pulled you over is reiterating that fact. #dumbdriver"

The Irony is NOT lost on me

I now know why people my age need therapy. Here is my story:

I have super silent for a few weeks. Not by choice. It has been almost three weeks since my last entry, for a very good reason. On August 2, my house was burglarize and my most prized possession (not counting the dogs) was taken- my iMac. Originally, I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to punch someone. Yeah- I still want to punch someone... hard.

Two things were stolen from my house (iMac and second cell phone) and my dogs were safe (this time)... and the house was ransacked again. Windows and screens were broken and the neurotic dogs were pushed to the limit of crazy town (again). Sincerely, I have been pushed to my limits too. I look outside and often shake my head in shame that my neighborhood has declined so drastically in the four years that I have owned my house. I look around and see children who are going no where because parents don't care enough to push them in the right direction; a city- a beautiful city- falling prey to hoodlums and hoes, criminals and dummies, corrupt dealings and economically depressed citizens. I see hopelessness. But there is no time for me to have tear stained cheeks because I am moving. Those bastards have broken into my house and stolen my piece of mind for the last time. I am done. I still want to stay in Chicago (don't you judge me!!) I just don't ever want to live in my neighborhood again- and barring some sort of divine intervention- I will not. House is on the market (yep, even in this shitty economy) and come October 1st I will, at the very least, be a resident of another neighborhood.


You know, the worst part isn't that someone was in my house, or that those jackasses felt the need to take something that didn't belong to them. It wasn't even that I am unemployed and really don't have the luxury of being without a computer; nor do I have the time (or inclination) to schlep to the library or to offices of friends in order to send out resumes. You want to know what the worst part is? When someone was breaking into my house, touching my shit, stealing my computer and ransacking MY house... I was at the courthouse on 26th and California- Criminal Courts for all you non-Chicagoans- serving JURY DUTY. Yeah- the irony is NOT lost on me.

Wordless Wednesday

Soulful Saturday- American Idol Edition

There has been so much said about the makeup of next season's American Idol panel. Who is getting fired? Who will stay? Who is going to be the celebrity judge? All kinds of craziness. My two cents? I want to stare at Justin Timberlake all season long, so it would be cool if he was a judge. Or Jon B, oooh members of the group New Edition. Yeah, essentially I want eye candy! :)

I have to admit- I was not very involved this year. I have had a lot going on- selling the house, trying to find a job... trying to figure out what state I am going to be living in. Essentially, putting together this crazy thing called life. I do believe that this year's winner is from Chicago, so that is exciting. :) Usually Idol is a bonding experience between my mother and I. She is still in Ohio, but we used to watch Idol and call each other during the commercials. Hey- it IS corny, but also amazingly cute!!

For this edition of Soulful Saturday I'm going to pay homage to the past ladies of Idol. I have to admit that I didn't like Carrie and Fantasia at first, but now they are mainstays on my iPod. I have always been a fan of Kelly's- she might just be totally awesome! I have used these songs (along with all other music) to make it through some tough times. Music is great therapy and if I have every made you a CD or (gasp) a mix tape we share a connection that is not easily broken. I have shared my bare feelings with you because for me it doesn't matter what type of music it is- all music is a glimpse of the soul of the person who gives it to you. You can always tell the frame of mind of a person by what is on their playlist... I wonder why people would glean from mine? Without further adieu:

Carrie Underwood- Cowboy Casanova

Key Lyrics:

* You better take it from me/that boy is like a disease

* He's like a curse/He's like drug... You get addicted to his love

* He's a good time, cowboy casanova, leaning up against the record machine

* He looks like a cool drink of water, but he's candy coated misery

* Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight- you better run for your life

Fantasia- Free Yourself

Key Lyrics:

* The love I had inside has died

* This love thing is full of scandals, so you are welcome to walk

Kelly Clarkson- Never Again

Key Lyrics:

* I hope when you're in bed with her- you think of me

* When your day comes and he's through with you- and he'll be through with you...

* Does it hurt to know I'll never be there?

* Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere/ it was you who close to end it like you did- I was the last to know

* Never again will I hear you, Never again will I miss you, Never again will I fall to you

* Never again will I kiss you, Never again will I want to, Never again will I love you...

Wordless Wednesday

A Year Long Commitment?

Last night I watched (finally) Julie and Julia. Awww, it was so cute! I am not sure why I waited so long to see it, I mean it is a story about a girl who blogs to make her life begin to make sense. Hmmm- I may or may not see parallels with my own life.

Alas- watching Julie and Julia makes me want to begin a year long commitment to something. I want to do something for 365 days and blog throughout the process. But what? I mean, I don't necessarily want to pick a cookbook and work my way through it. Seriously, that has already been done PLUS I have friends who have food blogs that I read and enjoy on a weekly basis. Not to even mention the fact that my parents would have a field day with the thought of me cooking for the next 365 days and putting the results online for everyone to see. Plus, I am not sure where I will be by the end of this year- I could be in Chicago, Ohio or anywhere else a job will take me! So what does that leave me with? The want to commit to something for a year that will make a difference in my life and the life of others, but no idea how to manifest that want into something productive... I need suggestions. What would you suggest?

Obama, Race and the fight of his Presidency

IF you follow me on Twitter (jovonnam) or Facebook, you would know that I have been a little more than disappointed with the topic of race relations this week. The whole Shirley Sherrod situation grated my nerves like you would not believe and I said as much in my updates. While sending out resumes, I saw her on the Today show where she said that while she was not expecting an apology from the President, she would like to talk to him about her situation. There is so much wrong with that statement. So, I was all in attack mode about her and then I read this article, which made my panties get all bunched up even more.

This article criticizes the President for being silent on race for the vast majority of his reign in office. Um, why are we talking about that like it is a bad thing? The author says that the President has has nothing to say regarding the deaths of Oscar Grant, Sean Bell or Aiyanna Jones. So. Neither do I. I am not saying that I don't give a shit about these deaths- all were at the hands of the police (Grant in California, Bell in New York and Jones in Detroit)- but what exactly does it have to do with the office of the President? Why does Shirley think that she should get to talk to Barack?

In my honest opinion (which is what you get when you read this blog) people are pissed off because they voted for Barack for the wrong reasons. If you voted for Barack simply because he is Black- shame on you. If you voted for him because you thought that he was going to cure all social ills that have plagued minorities- again, shame on you. If you think that race relations are going to magically be fixed because America has a Black President, or that said President HAS to respond every time there is a Black person shot at the hands of a non-Black person- you are naive and shame on you. Why do people think that Barack owes you a speech on race every time an Oscar Grant situation comes up? Every time a Sean Bell situation surfaces? Every time someone like Shirley loses her job? Did Barack shoot Sean Bell? Did he fire Shirley? Um, no. So why does he have to talk to their families? Why does Shirley think she is good enough to have a conversation with the President?

The author says that the Sherrod situation was "one of those folded arms, pursed lips, neck-twisted, 'so-what-you-gonna-do-now-Barack?' moments for Black America." Let's all be clear: I do not like that description. I find it very stereotypical (I mean can't you just see some overweight Black woman with ridiculously long fake nails mouthing those words?) Not only do I find the description off putting, it is also not a true statement for me. I don't care that Shirley lost her job. Is it unfortunate? Sure. But is it clear that everything you say (or type) now a days can and will be used against you? Absolutely. PLUS, that woman was offered another job... and she said that she doubted she was going to take it. If someone wronged you and offered to make it right and you are too proud to take it... shut the hell up with your complaining. Especially during this time when people are fighting for jobs.

Are race relations important? Yes. Are they relevant in these days? Sure. Should our President be commenting on every instance of inequality? That is totally a no brainer... NO. That is not his job. Would you expect George W. to comment every time a Yale graduate got into some trouble? Every time an oil tycoon was taxed extra money? Any time a Texan was shot and killed? You think that Bill Clinton should respond every time an Arkansas resident is unjustly arrested or fired from a job without cause? No. That is never gonna happen. As the President, your job is to work towards the betterment of the COUNTRY, not groups within the country. If Bush and Clinton had done any of the above, they would have been instantly lambasted, but at the slightest nod in the direction of a racial situation people expect that Barack is gonna drop everything and be at the head of the equality march. Listen, unemployment is well above 9%; we aren't really bouncing back from this last recession; our country is involved in two wars; the Gulf Coast has yet to recover from Hurricane Katrina (5 years ago) let alone this BP fiasco; violence is taking over our major cities (Chicago included); states are going bankrupt (Illinois included); foreclosures are engulfing neighborhoods like wildfire; and in the richest country in the world some children are going to bed hungry every night.. the list goes on and I point these items out because it is clear to me that the President, no matter what ethnicity he is, has more to worry about that what Shirley Sherrod is going to do with the rest of her life.

You want racial equality? Try this out: the outrage should be coming from our neighborhoods, our churches, our city officials, our police. Shocking, I know. Local movements should be taking place. You want violence to stop? Start reporting violence when it happens. You want better neighborhoods? Get involved. I complain... you know why? Because I am involved. I call the police. They know who I am. The kids know that I will call on them in a split second. Go to city council meetings; get involved in city politics; PTA... anyone? America was built on the actions of a few that changed the tide of a whole nation, not on the apologies of a President. If you are putting all your race relations hopes in the 'Barack will fix it basket' you deserve to be disappointed.

"Where are the Parents" Schaumburg Edition

Just when I thought that it could not get any worse... I read this. Yes you read that correctly- mom and son turning selling drugs into a family business. Good example for your 21 year old son, you thoughtless waste. Are you kidding me? I don't advocate selling drugs in any situation- EVER- BUT IF YOU MUST, don't do it with your children. I don't care how old they are, setting the example that selling drugs is the norm is not just irresponsible as a parent, it is socially irresponsible. You are going to one day release an individual on society who thinks that selling drugs and hurting his/her society is somehow normal. And do you know what that deranged individual will do? He/she will spread that diseased type of thinking on to their offspring. That is the very reason why society is not whole today- the passing down of bad manners, crazy morals and extreme thinking. Jeez.

Lately the family unit has started to take on criminal enterprise, I have read stores of parents and small children shoplifting together. At some point we are going to need more parents to stand up and show children the way that they should act and the type of people that they should be. That day can't come soon enough.

Wordless Wednesday

100 more cops- is that enough?

While reading the paper online today I came across this article. In it, the powers that be at City Hall run down their plan to add 100 new police officers to the Chicago Police Department. 100? Is that enough? In my honest opinion, 100 does not even scratch the surface of what is needed. The criminals are taking aim at our officers this summer. On Sunday, another Officer was shot down in the streets of Chicago. He was off duty and a month a way from retirement. His life was cut short by someone who reportedly wanted his car. His death brings the number of officers killed in the last month and a half to: 3.

100 new cops when we have had a shortage for at least the last 5 years- and the hiring freeze has been in effect for the last 4 years? 100 new officers when two years ago 3,160 reported being assaulted while on the clock? 100 new officers during this time where the city is suffering from unemployment and the violence here is only rivaled by the wild times of the early 90s?100? Hmmmm. A promise of 100 new officers when the city of Chicago is broke? How will we pay for them? I don't see anyone in charge offering up some of their salary. I love that these men and women put their lives on the line (on duty and off) and they don't make 1/6 the salary of their Superintendent. Exactly how do we fix that? My suggestion is to fire Jody and hire 106 new officers. Our city needs the structure, the service and the protection.

Maybe it is the heat

I will say that I have been indoors for the vast majority of this last week. It has been amazingly hot outside and I have not really felt like being outside, so with the exception of taking the dogs out 4 or 5 times a day I have been inside, sitting very close to a fan, watching very bad tv, or reading blogs. I love tv. Ok- there are a few tv shows that I love and I generally don't miss them. In the age of DVR, I luckily do not have to watch a ton of commercials during the shows that I love. But this week, I have actually been watching the commercials and all I have to say is: WTF???

Ok- if you didn't know what I looked like before reading this blog, I put up a picture. I often describe myself. I am a short, slightly athletically built, midwestern, educated Black woman. Most of the time, I am very comfortable with that. Clearly, through my posts anyone can see that I despise stereotypical people- no matter who they are. When I describe the bad ass kids in my neighborhood, it is not because I hate them per se, but I hate the things that they do, the people that they emulate, the culture that they are perpetuating. The same can be said about three commercials that I have just seen. Darrell the dude from the Walmart commercials, that fat lady from the PineSol commercials and the Kia commercial with the hamsters. Wow- I felt like I was living in the 40s and looking at stereotypical Black people. The black guy is entertaining- like in a minstrel show, the black woman is overweight, selling a cleaning product and calling everyone "baby" like the mammies in every kitchen in every black and white movie, and the hamsters... they look like the neighborhood behaviors that piss me off every day and they are rapping a song by the Black Sheep.

Maybe it is the heat, but I doubt it. Check out the videos that I am posting and leave a message. I am curious to see if I am the only one that is offended by Black people are in some sort of stereotypical role (or hamsters are made to have all the characteristics of Black rappers). I will also post a video of clips from the 20s-40s, so you can see the vague similarities. Let me know if the heat is getting to me.

Hamsters

Rollback

Videos from the past...

Writing Analysis

Twitter is amazing. You can look into a slice of anyone's life in their frequent updates of 140 characters. One of the ladies that I am following had a link for analysizing your writing. I though- eh, what the hell. Let's see who my writing style mimics. Can't be bad, right? I copied and pasted my LeBron entry and I got this:

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

For those of you who are asking yourself who Chuck Palahniuk is, I googled him for you!! Chuck authored "Fight Club" and his writing style has been said to use a limited vocabulary and short sentences (mimicking the way people speak). Could be worse. :) Also, ol' Chuck seems to answer criticism just like I do. In response to a "scathing review of one of his books" Chuck said "Until you can create something that captivates people, I'd invite you to just shut up. It's easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It's a lot more difficult to perform one." Who does THAT sound like? Ha! ok, ok, my response would have had a limited vocabulary full of more colorful descriptions of where someone could go, but you get the point.

Chuck didn't start writing until his mid-30s... maybe, just maybe, I am on the right track? I could be the Chuck Palahniuk of the midwest!

Soulful Saturday- Fiona Apple Edition

Instead of picking three different artists for Soulful Saturday, I have decided to dedicated this Saturday's edition to Fiona Apple. Haven't heard much from her in a while, but I owned Tidal and I am not afraid to say that she is AMAZING. Maybe it is because she is full of surly delight, or because we are the same ago, or she has figured out the best way to say "F you" in a song about her ex (and guess who I want to dedicate those songs to?) Either way, I rock out to this on the iPod to this day. By the time we were 18 Fiona had made it big with a lovely, sultry voice. She sounded like no one else in 1996, and there are ton of girls that have followed that have used the Fiona Apple formula- one of which is Amy Winehouse (although I do have friends that disagree with that assessment).

First video- her critically acclaimed Criminal. It is a good song, but surprisingly, I do not think it is her best. The 70s scenery in this video is funny, but I love her voice.

Key Lyrics:

* It's a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy just because she can

* I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand/ but I keep living this day like the next will never come

Second video Shadow Boxer- like this song better than Criminal... dedicated to... he knows.

Key Lyrics:

* what a cunning way to condescend- once my lover, now my friend.

* darling I just want to say... Just in case I don't pull through. I was on to every play... I just wanted you.

* It is so evil, my love, the way you've no reverence for my concern. So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love, to save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn.

Third Video- Sleep to Dream. This video kicks ASS!!! The lyrics say exactly what I have wanted to say on several occasions.

Key Lyrics:

* You say love is a hell you cannot bear. I say give me mine back and then go there for all I care.

* This mind, this body and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways. So don't forget what I told you, don't come around- I got my own hell to raise.

* First you run like a fool just to be at my side, now you run like a fool, but you just run to hide and I can't abide.

An Ohioan who doesn't understand the LeBron problem

Clearly, I have to write about this because between my email, Twitter and Facebook news feeds, everyone is either laughing or having a meltdown about LeBron James leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. Um, really? Now, let me preface this by saying what we ALL know: I am from Ohio- I carry that state proudly in my heart every day. I love being a Buckeye and no place will EVER be like home. With that said- I am *not* from Cleveland. Some of my best friends are, but I hail from the capital city (Columbus). Cleveland is like your little sister- you can talk about her all you want, but no one outside the family is allowed to! So, while the things I say may sound harsh- I am allowed! :)

LeBron is leaving- so? Ok, I would be pissed because of the way he did it. All that hype and he knew he was headed out of town... that sucks and was completely unnecessary. But that is what people love about him (another disclaimer- so not a LeBron fan- never have been, never will be). For God's sake that guy started every game by throwing chalk dust into the air and everyone called him the King. I can see how he has a huge ego. He gets paid millions of dollars to play a game. That is all basketball is- a child's game. And now he is leaving.

People are burning jerseys and acting like the world is going to end. I just don't get it. Let's review exactly what LeBron has brought to the city: NOTHING. Cleveland has not won a championship in the last 7 years while LeBron was "king." He made a substantial salary and gave Cleveland nothing but dashed hopes, drama (with his mother sleeping with his teammate) and no ring. And you are mad that he is leaving? Huh?

I say let LeBron and his big ego go play second fiddle in Miami. DeWayne Wade is not going to let someone run his team. LeBron is no long going to be king, instead he is going to be prince #2, behind Bosh and Wade. Let him go and use his salary to rebuild your team. Seriously- the city of Cleveland has been through worse, and will probably go through worse. One man does not make or break you, so get over it. Who cares? I don't and you shouldn't either.

PS- to the grown men burning jerseys... dude, you still BUY jerseys? You wear another man's name on your back? Really? Ewwwwww. Grow up. That $80 could be used for something else.

Glorification of Bad Behavior

Being at home during the day is hard on my mind. I mean, if you have ever had to watch daytime tv, you know what I am talking about. Mentions of out of control teens, paternity tests, murders and other violence plague almost all television stations- and that is just the mid day news. Forget turning on Maury or any other talk show... especially because I think I am allergic to the term "baby daddy" along with being allergic to the dregs of society laying their entire trashy loves on basic television for everyone to see. And for what? A trip to New York and a few dollars- for your self respect? I say "no deal!" But I digress.

Unfortunately for me, my computer is in the same room as a television, so as I fill out job applications, read blogs or surf facebook, the tv is on in the background. Usually I can filter out the actual words coming out of the mouths of people on the screen, but every once in awhile a commercial or two breaks through my self imposed hearing barrier. Today, what snuck in, struck a nerve.

The Oxygen Network was playing in the background because I can quickly zone out to the programs on that channel. Then the commercial bled through my barrier. It was a commercial for the newest installment of the "Bad Girls Club." Apparently the show is going to take place in Miami and will be even more obnoxious than usual. *Sigh* Is this what society now finds entertaining? Young girl acting out and getting applauded for atrocious behavior? No one is speaking proper English; they are fighting and they seem to be offering nothing of value to anyone. Hair pulling, cursing and acting ignorant-- and that was just a commercial. OMG. I remember feeling the same way when "Flavor of Love" came out. Are you serious? Where do thy find people to be on these shows? Why would you ever want to be on these shows?? I read an inspirational blog today... I think it describes how we should uplift our daughters, instilling them with self esteem and letting them know that they can get attention without bad behavior. Maybe of more parents were like this, less paternity tests on Maury would be needed; less women would be clamoring to get on the "Bad Girls Club" and I would have less of a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

We need to do better,

There comes a time in every young woman's life... blah, blah, blah. Things are changing. The look of the blog is going to change and soon, the place where I sit when I type out my thoughts will change too. Where am I going? That is still up in the air. I love Chicago and will do whatever I can to stay here for as long as possible. I have built my own lovely life here; filled with friends and laughter. I love this city. I embrace almost all that it has to offer, but when the laughter starts to turn into tears priorities need to be reexamined, pros and cons need to be weighed. That is what I am in the process of doing.

I find it oddly comforting that I am not alone in this situation. Lots of young people are leaving familiar cities for foreign skylines for a brand new start. I must admit that any skyline I see at the end of this process will not be foreign to me. Columbus, Cincinnati, Chicago- all familiar stomping grounds. All on the short list of cities to begin a new stage in my life. The city with the most lucrative job offer will win out. I will keep everyone updated and in the meantime I will be up to my same old shenanigans (blogging and what not). Exciting, right? For your listening pleasure- Eddie Vedder singing a classic. "You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changing." and... GO! :)

I am a Patriot

What a glorious day for America to have a birthday!! It is beautiful outside here in Chicago. Just like my relationship with the great city of Chicago, my thoughts on the United States of America are very love-dislike. I will always point out the things I dislike about America... because as an American, I have the right to do so. I will always point out what needs improvement, what is wonderful and what needs to go away- because I can. My ancestors died for the rights that I have. For their ultimate sacrifice I get to have an education; I get to vote and I get to voice my opinion- as loud as I want! Amazing, huh? :)

Funny thing is: as much as I complain about Chicago- I choose to live here and I love it. As much as I complain about close minded Americans- I love them. I love what my country represents; I love the freedoms that I have and I love that I can visit countries all over the world (I have been to a few) and get to come back to the best place on Earth- the United States of America.

So, to celebrate here is a video of Eddie Vedder singing "I am a Patriot" Now, this song has been covered by Jackson Browne and countless others (including different versions by Eddie). But, in my humble opinion this one is the BEST! :) Enjoy and God Bless the United States of America!

Key Lyrics:

* What I believe with my soul ain't what I see with my eyes, and there is no turning back this time.

* I am a patriot and I love my country. Because my country is all I know.

* I want to run like the lions, released from the cages; released from the rage that is burning my soul tonight.

* I only know one party- that is FREEDOM.

Pride Weekend 2010. C'mon and Celebrate!!

Ah! Once a year all of my gay wishes come true! I went to the Pride Parade this weekend (just for a short while) and it was magnificent! Coming from a *slightly* conservative background, I get a lot of questions when people realize that I am excited about Pride- not just the celebration, but the concept. I changed my facebook profile picture to the equality sign and received a couple emails... *sigh*

So, let's clear up some confusion. I love diversity. I love hanging out with people who are different from what I see every day. I love to learn about different backgrounds and expanding my way of thinking. That said: I am *not* a lesbian and I have no aspirations of being a lesbian- thanks. I do think that my country should re-evaluate the way they deal with minorities of ALL types. I don't care about your ethnic background, your financial background, or your religious beliefs. I don't care who you love or what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom.

What I do care about is what kind of person you are. Are you honest? Are you hard-working? Are you reliable? Are you intelligent? How do you treat me and the other people around you? I don't care about anything else and no one else should either. I don't want anyone inspecting my love life... though, it has been mostly non existent throughout my adult life, but still it is mine and it is private. I hate that people judge me based on who I date. I could say a lot about the men I date, but the one thing that sticks out is: they are all great guys (except one, ok possibly two). At the time we were together, they were exactly what I wanted. I look back on some of them and shake my head... now. Should I be judged because some of the guys I have dated are dickheads? Nah, I am still an awesome chick! :) So, then is it fair for me to judge someone simply on the sex of their partner? No. Is it fair that a couple can be together for 20 years, one dies and the surviving partner can't collect the pension of the deceased? No. Is it fair that if one half of a gay couple is in critical care in the hospital, the healthy partner cannot visit? No.

So- in honor of Pride, practice being a little more understanding about other's predicaments. The best thing about all of us is that we are different. Honestly, how would you feel if every day you woke up and saw people who were just like you? I mean, I am super opinionated- on this blog and in real life- but I appreciate that people are different and think differently than I do. I am (clearly) some kind of Democrat and most of my closest friends are Republicans (hey, Ohio is a very Republican state most of the time). I am Black, my best friends from high school aren't; my best friends from college aren't; my last few boyfriends have not been. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood- I know very poor people and some very rich people. Different does not even begin to describe the layout of my immediate family. My youngest brother is the same age as my nephew. There are foster kids and furbabies... we are all over the place!

We are all different and that is the best thing. We have all had different experiences, different triumphs and different failures. We help each other avoid life's pitfalls and we rally when one of us has a victory. That is what friends and family are about. That is what life is about. That is what Pride is about. Embrace differences, and as corny as it sounds, love your neighbors... no matter who their significant others are!

Wordless Wednesday

Unemployment and Rand Paul- What does he know?

I don't work on Mondays. Let me re-phrase that- I do not leave the house to work a traditional job on Mondays. Actually Saturday through Monday night I am usually in front of the computer applying for jobs or traveling the city putting in applications... and avoiding the temptation to drink heavily. Tuesday through Friday, I work for a temp agency part time. My situation makes me want to pull my hair out. I am actively looking for employment. I have reworked my resume so much it is nauseating. I want nothing more but to have a job (or two, or three) to go to everyday so I can pay my bills- in full, when they arrive at my house. I don't care what those jobs ARE- I don't care what I have to do. I am not looking for a career- I am looking for employment and I am looking everywhere.

If you have not been affected by the economic climate in the United States, good for you! I hope that the economy will soon turn around for all of us. For me (and countless others), however, the present economic climate has been hard to weather. Make no mistake, I know that I am not alone. There are thousands upon thousands of people, from every background and every age group, looking for a way to support themselves and their families. Whoever falls into that category often falls prey to public opinion. Case and point: today I was applying for jobs and I ran across this article. Rand Paul, who is trying to get elected to the Senate has told people in my predicament to "stop whining and get back to work." Really??? And how does he propose that we do this? He is not sure. So, he wants me to take whatever job I get offered so that we can get the economy resuscitated and so that he and his cronies can cut the unemployment benefits (that I am NOT currently receiving) but he has no plan to go on. Sounds...MORONIC.

Let's all be clear: I have not received unemployment benefits at any point this year; I look for full time employment at least 5 days a week; I took a HUGE pay cut after I got laid off from a large non profit management position and I am not looking for a permanent handout. I have a college degree, but the job market is over saturated with people like me. I apply for grocery store jobs and have been told that I am way too overqualified. I apply for management positions and I am under qualified. I apply for whatever position falls into my employment background, spending my days off putting together cover letter and resume packets, praying for the chance to get a call back and an interview and for that I get a "stop whining"? Let's all take a collective guess as to what my response to Paul would be.

All I want to do is work. All I want to be is self sufficient. I am not looking for an extended handout- if I could have three jobs and pay my bills- I would take it, no hesitation. So I gladly type a great big "go to hell" just for Rand Paul and those that follow his line of thinking. Last time I checked Kentucky had double digit unemployment numbers- just like most of the United States, you jerk. Tough love? Sure, if there were jobs going unfilled or if I was just sitting on my ass doing nothing, you douche. Just because Rand Paul is not *in* my situation, does not mean that he can trivialize my situation. Shame on him. Rand Paul: you don't want to spend more money on unemployment benefits? Cool. You try to live off of $738 every two weeks (paying a mortgage and other bills by yourself), then come back and let me know how that works out. I am not holding out for a similar job, Rand Paul... I am trying to find any job.

Rand Paul is misdirected to say the least, but after reading about his other antics, I guess that I should just feel sorry for him and the people of Kentucky if he ever gets elected.

Where are the Parents with Heart?

Ok- short post now, longer post later. I was just visiting the Chicago Tribune website (for the 30th time today) and I ran across this article. Ok, I realize that 1. I don't have any children and 2. I have a tendency to be a little drastic when it comes to punishment, but I am going to stand by my first thought, which was this grown man needs to be in jail. For a long time.

All too many times, parents run to the rescue of their children, but I think that I would be hard pressed to try to rescue my son if he poisoned me with anti-freeze. Really hard pressed. What were his parents thinking?

Where Are The Parents??

On top of the "Fantastic Five" idea, I am also going to start shorter entries called "Where Are The Parents" (WATP). You would not believe how many stories I read everyday- mostly from the Chicagoland area- about children running amok and parents being noticeably absent or negligent. If you read some older entries, you see that I am no pushover when it comes to the kids. I see absolutely nothing wrong with correcting ill behaving children. Someone did it for me and I am nice enough to do it for the kids now. Generally, I am not fond of children. Let me qualify that-- I am not fond of children who have smart mouths and have not been raised to respect their elders or their surroundings. Kids that stand on the corner outside my house; kids who walk down the street shouting obscenities; children who throw garbage down in their neighborhood; kids that destroy their own neighborhoods, all examples of people who would be on my shit list. But, even when I am looking at those kids and wanting to punch them in the forehead, I often wonder where exactly are their parents?

Now, don't get me wrong. My parents took an active role in my life and definitely taught me right from wrong, but they were not with me 24 hours a day, every day. I get that sometimes kids get a taste of freedom and participate in questionable behavior... BUT... every day? The same kids? The same events? Where are those kids parents? Why are we letting our kids run households and neighborhoods? How is it possible that the kids in this entry (and any subsequent WATP entries) have the time to be nuisances all the time? Where are the hands that are supposed to guide them? Where are the parents that are supposed to mold them? Care for them? Correct them? Why do I have to do the work of a parent when I am clearly *not* a parent? The attached links will illustrate my point and while some of these stories are so ridiculous they are funny, please do not mistake my disdain for the kids AND the parents involved (or not involved as the case may be).

17 year old twin brothers in Dolton attempting to be pimps.

15 year old charged with murder.

18 year old charged with hit and run of her classmate.

Man hiding drugs in the diaper of the child he was holding.

SMH. Where are the parents?

Fantastic Five. My Monday Five

So I saw this concept on another blog and decided to participate in this fad- if you will. The actual title of the game is Friday Five and yes, I do know it is Monday, and the rebel in me does not care. :) You are supposed to list five people (dead, alive, real, fictitious-- from any time in history) that you would like to have lunch with, including what you would talk about. Wow- I can see that this will have to be an ongoing Friday (or any other day of the week) theme because I cannot limit my list to five- that is truly one of the downfalls of having one of your college degrees in history.

I think that looking at these fantastic five lists will give people great insight into what matters to you in life. You can see who they look up to; can probably figure out where they fall in the political spectrum; who (or what) they find very attractive and what may be going on in their lives at that particular moment. So needless to say this ongoing list by a liberal, underemployed, proud, 30-something black woman should be interesting, to say the least! I will say that this "assignment" will show everyone that people are multi-dimensional. None of us are *just* Democrats or Republicans; Black or White; conservative or liberal; gay or straight. We all have different sides, different things that we will stand for, and things that we will not. Those things have less to do with where we are presently (in life stages or location) and more to do with who we are (or are evolving into). Needless to say- I am excited to participate. So, without further adieu , here is my very first fantastic five list:

1. Barack Obama (and yes, I would invite my mother!): I would invite my mom because she loves, no really, *loves* him and her birthday was Saturday, so she deserves it! I would love to congratulate the President on breaking down some barriers and taking on a task that cannot be easy- being the leader of this country. Being as disagreeable as I am, the lunch would not go as smoothly as the President would like. I would tell him of my disappointment in the Arizona situation (blog coming), and the fact that we are still at war (2 times over). I would have to bring up the fact that I am very concerned with unemployment (still) and the uptick in violence that comes along with joblessness. We would also talk about how cities all over our country are struggling and maybe his next point of business should be to be a little more isolationist in nature, i.e taking care of the American people before we worry about other countries- bringing back programs that help the less fortunate, the infirm, the hungry, homeless, unattended to masses, those who are attempting to get their lives together and just need a little more help.

I would tell him that above all else to keep his head up... haters come and haters go and all he can do is do what he thinks is best for the American people.

2. Harvey Milk: if you don't know who he was- google. Immediately. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know where I stand on gay rights- if not, let me recap. Gay men and women should have the same rights as everyone else. Please don't give me the Defense of Marriage rap. Number 1- I don't want to hear it and number 2 in the year of Tiger Woods and Jesse James, just to name two, I would be hard pressed to think that heteros should have a monopoly on marriage. We are not shining examples. Life partners should be able to see each other in the hospital, adopt children and whatever else. People should not be denied because of who they love- and if you disagree, I absolutely appreciate your point of view, just practice some self control (and save yourself the embarrassment) if you are about to send me an email telling me that I am going to hell. We can all do without the ugly turn that would bring! :) As far as what I would ask Mr. Milk if he were still alive: I wonder how he would feel about the gay rights movement presently, what California (where he lived) lawmakers are doing to the movement, and where we should go from here. I think it would be an eye opening experience.

3. Emmett Till: I would tell him thank you for the ultimate sacrifice at such a young age and I would ask him what he thought about the Black community now. What he thought of the graduation rates of Black children. What he would say if he could... and if his sacrifice (and the sacrifices of his contemporaries) was worth it. Hmmm.

4. Jane Byrne: first (and so far- only) female Mayor of the City of Chicago. I won't tell everyone what I would ask her specifically, but generally I would ask her where to start. :)

5. Anderson Cooper: are you kidding? Super hot, smart AND a Vanderbilt? OMG. I would totally fail at keeping it professional, but I would (attempt) to ask him: when we are getting married! :)

Tonight's Saviors of Chicago

I just watched the Chicago Blackhawks beat the Philadelphia Flyers to win the Stanley Cup. In overtime. Amazing!! The city is on fire (not literally) and up until about an hour ago, the sounds of fireworks ( I hope they were fireworks) could be heard from the northernmost point of the city to the far south side.

I am convinced that I am a good luck charm. Ten months after I moved here the White Sox won the World Series and now the Blackhawks and the Stanley Cup. Yay!! Tonight's victory is super sweet and I am headed off the bed with a smirk on my face.

Mushiness Caused by Insomnia

I can count on one hand the times that a song has evoked an emotional response from me. There are a couple songs that make me tear up as soon as I hear the opening beats, but mostly I hear music and correlate it with every emotion but sadness. I added another song to the list this morning. Maybe it was the Blackhawks win or just insomnia in general, but as I was sitting here, drinking coffee regular (that is what my mom calls it), listening to YouTube videos from my childhood and reading the newspaper online, I really connected with this song.

It seems so weird that a song from the early 90s can still get me a little teary-eyed, but yesterday was a rough day, and if that excuse doesn't float I am totally blaming crying on the lack of sleep. :)

Just as I was going through some random playlist on YouTube I was reading a story about Chicago crime (shocker). Clearly, my blog reflects the fact that I am not impressed with Jody Weis (Superintendent of Police), so I read all the articles I can that include him.... Hey, you never know, I could be wrong about the guy (highly unlikely) or I could just find more fodder for my disdain (that is more like it). So "You Will Know" is playing and I am reading about Jody saying that homicide in the city is up 4% versus this time last year. Immediately, I hate him. This is the same guy that violent crime was down this year. This is the same guy who said that he would take a pay cut to keep his job, but offered no suggestions on how we can hire more police, or adequately pay them... even though he makes upwards of $300,000. Every time I see his face, tv or newspaper, I find it hard to talk myself out of cursing at him. I seriously want to slap his face!

So maybe I just needed a hug this evening or something! Whatever the case, this song came on and I felt a little better. Whatever happened to inspirational mainstream music? I think we need something like this or We Are the World again. Knowing that at the end of the summer more *young* Chicagoans will be the victim of homicide is disheartening. I look around my neighborhood and the sinking feeling that I get EVERY day cannot be accurately described. The ridiculously disrespectful kids, the non caring, self serving parents, the homes in disrepair, the joblessness, the drug dealing, hell- the laziness. Whatever happened to caring? Pride in your community? Pride in yourself? I get sick to my stomach when I go to the grocery store and see people acting... stereotypically. The world has enough jackasses, so why are we allowing ourselves to become part of that statistic?

I look around at the kids in my neighborhood and think that the future is in some serious trouble. Maybe people thought that when I was growing up? But I don't overhear conversations about becoming doctors and lawyers or store owners. I overhear stories about banging chicks, becoming a baby daddy (jeez, I hate that term) and playing basketball in the NBA. These kids are begging (silently) to be led in the right direction and we are doing them- and ourselves- a disservice by not setting boundaries for them. As a society, we should be ashamed that it has gotten this far from the goal of producing productive members of a working society. Where are the fathers?? You know, men who are an example for *all* the children that he is responsible for fathering? Where are the men that go to work and pay to support *all* their children? Where is the love and respect that children can only get from a father figure? Where are the real mothers?? You know- the ones that teach their kids wrong from right... the ones that you want to grow up and emulate. The ones that go to work to put food on the table, showing her children that independence is a wanted virtue? Where are the families?

Did I need Jody Weis to tell me that homicide was up 4%? Nope- I read the paper every day and I see a steep decline in my community already- and I know that it is city, state and country wide. Did I need Jody to tell me that our children are in jeopardy? No, I see it everyday. Parents are not visible, children are running the street. They think they can do what they want. They think that the world owes them.... and it doesn't. It is unfortunate and we need to work together to turn it around. Quickly. Before the kids decide they don't care; that they are not worth saving. We have to show them that times won't always be fantastic when you do the right thing, but it all pays off in the end. They are looking at us- and we are not showing them a great example.

So, for the music:

Key lyrics:

*I fought hard, y'all to carve out my place.

* Stand up tall, don't you fall... You will know.

* Your dreams ain't easy, but stand by your plan.

Pet Peeves and Being the Mayor of Haterville

I am sitting here, reading blogs and watching the Blackhawks vs. Flyers. I am usually on top of blog reading (or skimming), but the last few weeks have been packed full of nonsense. I didn't have internet access at home, and while I can read and write blog entries on my BlackBerry, I think that activity is adding to my eventual case of carpel tunnel syndrome (I am only half joking). So I have been writing entries out long hand, wasting paper and falling behind. On a good note- if the next couple of weeks are slow news weeks, I still have material. :)

So, as I am reading backlog blog entries of friends and acquaintances, I came across this. Full disclosure, I know one half of the Harlem Love Birds. Quiana and I went to high school together, so I am sure that we have similar thought processes. Needless to say, I really enjoyed this blog... it leads me to think that I am not the only one that sees bad behavior and comments on it. Last week, I was walking to work from the train and I saw a woman whose shirt was, um, inadequate at covering the necessities and I commented on it on my facebook status. A buddy from college asked me when I became a hater. Really? I don't think that I am a hater for pointing out the fact that I saw nipples on the way to work. In fact, other than being very humerous for me, I think that I would appreciate it if someone told me that I was giving the city of Chicago a boob show!

Whatever the case, Quiana has inspired me to post a portion of my list (like I need to have tons of encouragement!) And yes, I am only posting a portion of my list, because, as we all know, the list of things that annoy me is endless. :) Hopefully everyone will take this list for what it is- a funny, yet poignant list... but if you don't, I can totally take being named the Mayor of Haterville again.

Here we go:

Sagging Skinny Jeans or sagging any jeans- ever- I have talked about this "trend" on facebook. Ugh, it makes me want to vomit. People who sag skinny jeans look like they are wearing a diaper. It is on of the least flattering things ever. Sagging jeans has origins in prison life and for the life of me I cannot figure out why anyone would want to emulate that behavior.

Disrespectful children- hmmm, who knew I was gonna say that? I do not appreciate kids who think that they can do or say anything they want, to anyone they want. Since when do we let kids run us? My philosophy is if you are "grown" enough to pretend you are an adult, you are old enough to get your feelings hurt like an adult. Talk shit, you get shit. Period. I will not walk on eggshells for disrespectful kids.

Men carrying book bags to work- Really? Book bags have been played out since '92. If you have graduated from high school or college and you have a job, carry a briefcase. Seriously, you are not 14 years old and a book bag does not go with a suit. At the very least, carry a black or brown messenger bag. Take that as a helpful hint.

Women with visible tattoos- I have tattoos; I like tattoos, however, I do not want to see your body art while you are at a formal event. Ladies, do what I did- get tattoos in a place that can be covered by formalwear. No one you work with wants to see the name of the man you loved at 18; or the barbed wire that circles your arm. Remember that tattoos are forever, so stop it with the tackiness. Along that same line of thought:

Men with prison like tattoos- Dude, um, if we are sitting cross the table from one another in a business meeting, I should not be fearing for my life- so stop it with the knuckle tattoos. Sincerely, I like tattoo sleeves like the next person, but jeez, when they go from your arm, to your neck, I go immediately to uninterested. Keep it classy because when you are old and things are saggy, you *may* regret having your ex girlfriend's face tattooed on your body... just saying.

Clothes that are too short, long, tight or otherwise non-fitting- I know that summer is on its way, but I should not be able to see your underwear (or lack thereof). Ladies, stay out of your daughter's/little sister's/smaller friend's closets. You know whether or not your clothes fit, and no matter what you think the camel toe is not a fashion statement you want to make. Look at yourself before you leave the house. PS. look at your children before you let them leave the house. Just as a helpful hint: a 7 year old should not be allowed to dress like a 17 year old... for real. Guys, if I wanted to see your underwear, I am bold enough to ask. Um, walking behind you on the street has become a very personal situation. Pull your pants up. The idea is to be well put together, not looking like you rushed out of the house.

Loud Talkers on Cell Phones- with all the advances made with cell phones do you REALLY think that the person on the other line cannot hear you?? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING while walking down the street? I was on the train the other day and oh, this woman was totally over-sharing while on the phone. I mean, I know what her doctor said to her at her appointment last week. That is a lot. The public as a whole can do without knowing what health issues you have, what you and your significant other argued about that morning, or your drunken sexual exploits from the weekend.

Platinum blonde hair on black people- Yeah, I said it. I don't care if you are mad. It didn't work for Sisqo, or Lil Kim and it doesn't work for Amber Rose. Whatevs- there is nothing wrong with hair colors that we are born with, black, brown, red... or even if you had some honey colored highlights, but a whole head of blonde? I'll pass.

Finally... biggest pet peeve? It is a tie! People who stare- what the hell are you looking at??? If I have something on my face, tell me, but do NOT stare. It. is. rude! People who 'smack' their lips when they are eating- that is just gross. I don't want to hear or see what you are consuming. Ewwwwwww.

You all know that I could continue, but I won't. I can guarantee that I personally saw all 10 of the above named situations...today. We have so far to go! LOL

Soulful Saturday- Pearl Jam- Just Breathe

Wow. My love for Pearl Jam is well known. Since my first show in 2000, I have seen them 7(!) times (totally worth every show). My love for Eddie Vedder is an ever burning flame. Please do not try to convince me that he is not beautiful. Greater men have tried... all have failed!! :) Long hair, short hair, soul patch or beard, skinny or chubby cheeked- I love him. Those blue eyes have pierced my musical heart and I am his forever. That lovely, deep voice has lulled me to sleep many a night, and the lyrics that he writes move me to want to change the person that I am. I love that he isn't the typical superstar. I am not the typical Pearl Jam fan- it fits! :)

My future husband, whoever he is, WILL know this song. :)

Key Lyrics:

*Stay with me, oh let's just breathe...

*Practiced are my sins, never gonna let me win. Under everything, just another human being.

*Stay with me, you're all I see.

*Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? If I didn't I'm a fool you see... no one knows this more than me, as I come clean...

Soulful Saturday- Amy Winehouse- Love is a losing game

Ok, this girl is a mess. Her personal life has played in the media ad nauseam and she seems to like it like that. She is tattooed (which I like), uses too much make-up, pierced and socially unacceptable AND she sings beautifully. I love this video that I found. It seems so intimate and I actually like it better than the original version.

Key Lyrics:

* For you, I was a flame

* Love is a losing game- one I wish I never played- oh, what a mess we've made

* Self professed, profound... till the chips were down

* Though I battle blind, love is a fatal resign

Soulful Saturday- Ella Fitzgerald, Fever

Time again for the monthly Soulful Saturday posts. When I was growing up, Saturday was the cleaning day. My mom would turn on the radio and tasks were assigned. Generally, there were oldies on, which has to be where I get my... eclectic taste in music. There have been many versions of this song offered up, but Lady Ella sang my favorite rendition. Not trying to take anything away from Peggy Lee, Sarah Vaughan, Christina Aguliera, Beyonce, Michael Buble or anyone else, but Lady Ella sings to me!