Wordless Wednesday

Attitude of Gratitude

I have a friend who always reminds me that when I am having a bad day, I should start/revise/go over a gratitude list. The things that I most cherish from every day life. I am feverishly typing this in these early morning hours because while nothing has irritated me YET... something (someone) will later one... and I feel as though I need to be prepared. I'll schedule this for later today... when my phone tells me that it has been published, I will be able to take a few seconds and regroup versus the alternate tirade that I have been mentally preparing.

There is no horror story, per se. I just work with someone who is not as urgent as I would like; not as organized as I would like... and WAY more condescending than I would like (out of the three, clearly the last one is the problem, as it is the way to get punched in the nuts the fastest- please take note). Don't get me wrong, I love having a baby face, but just because I look young does not mean that 1. I am your secretary, 2. I need you to explain things to me like I am dumb or 3. I will put up with this bullshit for very long without reading you the freaking riot act, so that you never forget... See, I am already all up in arms. So- on to my list. I'll do the top 5 because I am just going to need a small reminder of what I am grateful for to put a smile on my face (I hope).

Hot, Black and Bitter is grateful for:

1. My family- I write of them often, but surely not often enough. They are NUTS... like, seriously, there are days when I think we should ALL be committed- from the oldest to the youngest. BUT, I wouldn't trade their nutty asses for anything. Well, mostly anything- catch me on the right day and I might trade off a couple of the little ones for coffee. ;)

2. My friends (extended family)- the only people who know exactly who I am and love me despite it all, when they don't have to. Small number of people in this group, and trust me, they all worked for the title!

3. Doggie kisses on tear stained cheeks. Makes everything ok. I have become a firm believer that having a pet extends your life. Depressed? Get a dog or a cat- works wonders.

4. Job- oh, I'll complain about my co-worker, rightfully so, but I am extremely grateful for a job! Having been unemployed through the vast majority of this economic depression, I am happy to have somewhere to go every day; happy to be able to have a job I do well... and happy/grateful for a paycheck. I just wish there was a little more pride in work/work ethic from others.

5. A horrific day at the office that ends with someone delivering you cupcakes... this is how I made it through Friday. Need some? I know a guy! :)

May this small bit of insight be enough to lead me through the day...

Soulful Saturday- Hi- Five

This group brings back so many memories. Sadly, lead singer Tony Thompson died in 2007, but these 5 boys from Waco surely rocked my radio in my formative years! :)

I Like The Way (Kissing Game)



Never Should Have Let You Go



Quality Time



I Can't Wait Another Minute



Unconditional Love

Six Words

It is. Getting WARMER. in Chicago! ;)

Rape and Playing the Blame Game

WARNING: this entry WILL (should) make you uncomfortable... and for that reason, certain people should refrain from reading it... like, my mother, the church lady, and those who are easily offended by cursing and me calling people foul names. You have been warned!!
I blame this post on Twitter! I have been working two jobs for the past couple of weeks, so my posting has been lax, and so has my news reading. I have preferred sleep- a LOT, but I do keep up with my Twitter feed. Today, while treating myself to breakfast, I came across a patch of posts that referenced a rape in Cleveland,Texas. You can read about it here and here. For those of you who don't like to click on links... In November of last year, in the town of Cleveland an 11 year old girl was gang raped by 20 men. Read that last sentence over again. And NOW, the morons at a certain New York newspaper (NYTimes- shame on your petty asses) and the amazingly giving people of Cleveland, are starting to blame the 11 year old for what happened. If you are offended by profanity- look away now.

What the FUCK is wrong with people? I mean seriously, is our society that ridiculously off track that a gang rape can happen to an 11 year old girl and we place blame on her? Really?! Really? Well, that is fucking stupid and I am going to tell you exactly who are the dumbest of the dumb in this situation. Fucking pieces of shit.

*Anyone in the town of Cleveland (the police, the prosecution, parents, nosy ass neighbors and bystanders) that actually believes that an 11 year old brought GANG rape on herself: You are fucking low cretins. You stupid backwoods bastards. I don't give a shit if that little girl is waving her hairless vagina in the face of every man she comes across- SHE IS A FUCKING CHILD. A child. And now, no matter what happened, what she said yes to, where the line was drawn... no matter what, that child is RUINED. Her childhood is OVER. Her life will NEVER be the same. And you stupid fucks push blame onto her?! She is NOT grown. She can NOT consent to anything. Hell, when I was 11, my parents still had say over what I wore out of the house. I couldn't make or grasp heavy decisions-- and she can't either. You fucking compassion less pricks. What if she was your child? Look around- some of us have 11 year daughters and sons. What if your kid- son or daughter- was gang raped by 20 individuals? Who would you blame? How would you feel if your kid was seen as "asking for it"? I don't give a good damn if she wore bra and panties and nothing else to school every day- she is the 6th grade. AND if she was attempting to act out sexually, that is a cry for help, not an act of begging crazy pedophiles to take advantage of her.

*Parents of Cleveland, Texas: I don't understand this. You live in a town of 9,000 people. How do you NOT know what your kid is doing? Small inkling? I grew up in Columbus, Ohio- way bigger than 9,000 people- and my parents ALWAYS knew what I was doing. You know why? Because people TOLD on my dumb ass. That's why. If they saw me doing something I wasn't supposed to, my neighbors called my parents... at work!!! Are you fucking kidding me that NO one knew that this baby was being dicked down by 20 men? (I keep saying men because these MEN were in high school and in their 20s. The oldest is 27... 27! (I fucking date 27 year olds.) There were a few middle schoolers but if you look at the mugshots- those are MEN that raped her). I fucking hate the kids in my neighborhood, but I know what the hell they are doing-- I watch their asses. I call the cops. Not one parent thought to call the police? Not one parent thought to call the parents of this BABY? What kind of fucking person are you?

*Activist that are screaming racism: Oh, Jesus, keep me near the cross. You are mad because all the MEN who gang raped this Latina girl are Black? You see that as some injustice? How about-- um, teach your fucking kids that raping women is wrong?! They tape recorded themselves DOING IT- that is how they fucking got caught. They provided the evidence that is going to put all their asses in jail. If all of them participated, does it bother me that all of those MEN are Black? Am I going to protest and say that they are being charged because they are Black? Um, hell NO. Keep your fucking dick out of little kids, you bastards. I would think the same if they were white, Asian, green, polka dotted, whatever. At what point do you STOP giving the excuse that bad behavior can be covered up by waving the race flag? Now, IF there were white assailants that had not been prosecuted, I would scream injustice, because I want every dick that hurt that child to pay for it. EVERYone. And if everyone of them happens to be Black, so be it. Fuck you bastards for being pedophiles, taking advantage of a disturbed baby, and feeding into the stereotype that Black men cannot control their sexual urges. You're all fucking disgraces and I hope you pay the highest cost the state of Texas can come up with. A towns person actually said "these boys have to live with this for the rest of their lives." Yeah, you stupid cunt, guess who else does? That BABY that they RAPED. And for all of you who are claiming that "she didn't look 11" you can kiss my ass-- the pink part, because that is some bullshit. In a town of 9,000 people, you know who is at the age of majority and who is not. Fucking slimy cocksuckers.

The Victim's Parents: WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!?!?!?! You have a whole town, clowning your kid, saying that she dressed inappropriately and wore lots of makeup, didn't look her age... and had all this time on her hands? Where the fuck were you? If she acted like that in public, she probably acted out at home. You didn't have a say? You didn't see ANY warning signs? You were absolutely shocked when there were viral videos of your 11 year old daughter being molested and gang raped by 20 MEN?!?! Are you fucking blind?! I swear, people should need licenses in order to raise children.

The "Men": You fucking dirty,disgusting, lowdown mofos (the one curse word I DON'T say)... I have nothing but contempt for you. You ruined a community, your own fucking pointless lives and a little girl. It is because of men like you that I believe in the death penalty. It is because of men like you that your white backwoods counterparts still believe that Black people are the "n" word. It is because of men like you that I struggle every day to prove that I am NOT a stereotype. If I used the "n" word... that is what I would call you because you are blights on my race, a thorn in the side of anyone fighting the good fight for our people and a shit stain on society as a whole. I hope you all fucking rot in hell.

Lesson: hug and kiss your babies... because the world that surrounds them is like the Devil... walking to and fro, seeking who it can devour. SMH.

Soulful Saturday- Whitney

There are only a few superstars that can go by ONE name. Prince, Cher, Aretha and Whitney are the first four that come to my mind. Whitney is a super hot mess right now, with people walking out of her concerts, alleged drug abuse, her crazy ass ex-husband, family fights, etc. But above and beyond ALL that, Whitney can SING. Say whatyou want about her personal craziness, but that chick has a voice that does.not.stop. If she wants to be crazy on her own time, I'll just have to pop in a tape of her early stuff and sing and dance around. I've been doing that while pulling up these videos! LOL Whatever!! :) Get ready for the 80s hair! Woo hoo, Whitney! Get it girl!

Didn't We Almost Have It All?


All The Man I Need


I Will Always Love You


Saving All My Love For You



Heartbreak Hotel

Oh, the Persecution

To say that I am COMPLETELY offended by the above billboard is an understatement. Yes, you read that right- that picture is a billboard. It has been taken down, but just the idea that someone thought that this was ok, says volumes. This monstrosity was unveiled on February 23 (during Black History Month), in part, by a Dallas "pastor" who says that he believes that Black women feel like they have no option other than abortion. Hmmm.
Let me start by saying I am not a pro-life; I am safely within the realms of pro-choice. By no means does that mean I think abortion should be used for birth control, but I do think that women should be able to choose what is good for them at the time. I have seen what people do to unwanted children, or children they simply can't care for, and it is shameful. If a woman or a young lady at the age of majority chooses to terminate her pregnancy, I have no opinion on that. I have my own personal opinion of what I would do, but I don't think that what is right for me should be forced onto other women in other situations, with other goals. Luckily, I have never had to make a decision in regards to ending a pregnancy, but if I did, I would never be so shortsighted to think that everyone should do whatever I do. Everyone is not hot, black and bitter, right?! Right.
With that said: in regards to this billboard-- are you fucking kidding me? Some people in America want to argue that the "face of Welfare" is a Black one... with several children- by several different men- that cannot be cared for. These are the children that grow up to be problems in our neighborhoods, overpopulate our jails and perpetuate this ghetto mentality. And THAT is wrong. A woman chooses to exercise her (very) legal right to terminate a pregnancy and THAT is wrong. So, what exactly is a Black woman to do? If you are a reader of this blog, you know that we aren't racing to the chapel to get married, so are we supposed to have no children? Why are their not billboards for every racial group? If these people see abortion as a type of genocide of racial groups, Blacks can't be the only group that should be getting attention. As for "pastor" so and so... He can eat me. He ought to be ashamed, as a Black man, to be the face of such a hate filled representation of one half of his race. You want to stand up against abortion- fine. It is legal, but so is freedom of speech... but to start an onslaught against Black women- he gets the side eye.
Could it be that groups are coming together to beat up on Black women? In situations like this, I will wave the race card. Are you telling me that NO other group has abortions? Impossible. Discourse on the topic, I can roll with, but subjecting ONE race to negative press... and then proposing to move said negative press all around the country? I call bullshit.

Who Wears the Pants?

Everyday I scroll through at least one twitter timeline... I have personal ones and business ones, and a couple that I handle for other people. People really open up on Twitter. It wouldn't be your first thought but there is a stream of consciousness that flows through those 140 character messages. More and more, I see messages about what someone wants in a mate. There are people who just want a whore-- honestly. They don't type about forever, they type about right now and nothing else. You have some who type about romanticized love, like the kinds you see in movies; self deprecating humor about love lost, long loves, marriages and changes in love. In 15 minutes you could see the entire gamut of a relationship through the eyes of about 100 different people.
It is kind of endearing. You can go through a break up and be encouraged, or air your dirty laundry and be slapped down by the twitterverse. With the good comes the bad-- and today, I saw the bad. So there is this guy who is posting all this stuff he wants in a female companion. Some of it is tongue in cheek- clearly. But some of it is downright ridiculous. I understand that a lot is at stake in choose a mate. Some people (me included) only want to take the plunge once so, I get it that you are taking your time and being very specific... HOWEVER, you will not send me a direct message saying that if we got together YOU would be head of the household and I would have to learn how to follow... WOW!? Dude, what?! You know, like I know, that you will get a mouthful.
You are trying to spit your little game to all the girls on Twitter. God fearing, Bible thumper... and some of them *might* fall for that. But as for me- not so much. Man- listen here: I follow NO man, except my daddy... because he ALWAYS comes through. When I need it, that man will break his back to get it-- and he is not doing it for some dishonest motive. I am not following you for one specific reason-- I don't know where you are going. So, if your game is to get all the little girls to think that they are following the Bible to follow your crazy ass into a ditch... go for it, but don't think that I am going to take that bait. SMH
Here is my problem: there are too many men (NOT all, just too many) that have mixed priorities. Some of y'all are just too concerned with being a "baller", succeeding in business (to the detriment of everything else) or impressing other people to be effective leaders at home. How can you lead me, if you are trying to keep up with the Joneses? How can you lead me if you are still in your infancy? How can you lead me if you are so concerned with the office that you can't see what is happening at home? Finally, how can you lead me if you are unhappy? So we both have to be work centered, unhappy infants trying to keep up with the Joneses? I think not. Let's get this right: I have no problem letting a man lead. The RIGHT man. A responsible man, who thinks of me as his partner in life. A well balanced man that knows that work has its place, and that we don't have to swim in debt just because the Joneses are. A compassionate man who understands that while the Bible says that women should submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22), it also says that men should love their wives, like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25); love her as he loves himself (Ephesians 5: 28-30). See, Mr. Fake Preacher, I know Bible verses too, so let's just do each other a favor and not go there. Use those self serving tricks on someone else. Shame on you and you better be happy you didn't get cussed out.
If I have to keep dealing with crazies, there will be no question as to why my bitter ass isn't married! LOL

Soulful Saturday- 112

Hailing from Atlanta, 112 was one of the many 90s boy groups. They came around the mid to late 90s, so they were right at the beginning of the whole video girl era that I dislike. Even in one of the featured videos below there are women on stripper poles *sigh*... Even though that makes me give them a side eye, they were (are) talented. Even though they were associated with Bad Boy Entertainment and produced by Sean P. Diddy (or whatever he has made up this week) Combs, they can sing. They had the dance moves down and the guy "Slim" had range. I liked it... they are on my iPod, I am not ashamed to admit! :) Their songs are very suggestive-- but unlike today, they don't say everything. Just innuendo, strong innuendo! LOL What's funny is I have a very vivid memory about the members of 112... Picture this: Columbus Ohio 1995. hahaha- seriously!! We were at Northland Mall, which I don't think is around anymore. Momma Mox and I were shopping and in comes all four members of 112, who were in town for a concert. Holy crap!! I talked to them (of course) and got a hug from Slim. We were leaving the store and Momma Mox was giving me a lecture about hugging random guys I don't know. I think it went something like this: "412, 112, I don't care- you don't know where he has been!" LOL Gosh, I love that woman!!

Cupid


Peaches and Cream :) (This is a song about... adult situations!)
*So sweet I can't forget, so good girl, you make me sweat.
*I can see you over there, just chilling with your girlfriends. Can't believe you're by yourself, you should be here with me, chilling with me, drinking with me, freaking with me...



It's Over Now
*Baby, it's a shame we gotta go through this. We can't even talk, girl we don't even kiss. I never would have thought we'd be breaking up like this, but it's over now.



Anywhere
-Another suggestive song, but really how cool do they sound now, singing about doing it on a water bed? LOL
*I wanna talk back to her, make love to her. I wanna hear you scream my name.
*We can make love in the bedroom, floating on top of my water bed; I'm kissing you, running my fingers through your hair. In the hallway, making our way beside the stairs;
*I can love you in the shower, both of our bodies dripping wet; On the patio, we can make a night you won't forget; On the kitchen floor as I softly pull your hair. We can do it anywhere... (gasp)

Paging a Doctor... Any Doctor. This Man Needs Help.

The Internet is abuzz with the shenanigans of a certain actor who will remain nameless in this post (he has a brother named Emilio and a dad named Martin).  I am not naming him because I refuse to take part in glorifying his very clear nervous breakdown. This man has berated people he has worked with, left a very profitable job and is making a fool of himself on TV EVERY morning and everyone seems to think that it is funny.  I don't think it is funny-- I think it is sad.
Every day people walk around with bottled up energy. That energy can be either good or bad. The release of said energy is how we behave during the day. If I behaved the way that this actor is behaving, I would hope that my friends (and family) would grab me up and give me the help I need. Y'all better not let me run around on the Today Show and show my ass in front of sexy Matt Lauer (I digress). Seriously, WHERE ARE HIS FAMILY MEMBERS?? Better yet, what was the trigger that made this actor fall off the deep end? There needs to be an intervention of some kind. Actually, there needs to be anything besides everyone taking joy in the fact that he is losing it.  I am tired of my Twitter timeline being full of jokes about him. Dude, this is not a joke. It is sad. This is his life, and his life is falling apart.
His kids were taken away, two marriages have (very publicly) ended, drug abuse is clear, he lost his job, he has had a public feud with his boss... and somehow, people see him as a source of entertainment. Am I the only one who sees this as a scream for help? I couldn't possibly be the only one who thinks that someone should offer him a helping hand, could I? You know, I really want to slap him and have him get it together- I mean, he is a millionaire, some sort of "celebrity." He lives a life that some of us can only dream of, and he is squandering it all away for drugs and sex with hot pieces of ass? So yeah, I want to pop him a good one, but I have to ask-- What kind of society do we live in where people think this shit is funny? Y'all don't seem to remember that there was an eathquake last week; that gas is $4 a gallon; that unemployment is still high and people are still suffering, but you can take time out to laugh it up and make up jokes about someone in a super dark place in their life? Be encouraging the craziness, even? What does it say about the American public that just CAN'T get enough of this nonsense? We take joy in the fact that someone besides ourselves is losing it? What does it say about us that our social media "walls" are covered with his name or an update of what he is doing?  To me, it says that the vast majority of us are right on his level-- pathetic and petty. SMH.

Soulful Saturday- Chrisette Michele

Contrary to popular belief, I don't just like music from the 90s... all the time. There are a couple contemporary artists that I listen to on a regular basis, and Chrisette Michele is one of them. I actually saw a concert that she put on in Washington DC in 2008 when I was there for a conference. Amazing. Seriously, her voice is an instrument that everyone should become used to hearing (and loving). She is a very talented young lady. Her fusion of jazz and R&B is nothing short of amazing, and she makes me believe that there are still "artists" out there, not just pop stars. Check out a few selections below.

If I had my way

*You're who I desire, you light my fire.
*One day we'll make love; passion unheard of. I'll be your woman, if I had my way.



Epiphany
**I like to call this song: One day you're sorry ass will realize... but that might be a little too bitter for some folks! :)**
*So I think I'm just about over being your girlfriend. I'm leaving.
*No more wondering what you been doing; where you been sleeping. It's over.



Best Of Me
*Loved you, lost you; thought I'd give you all the best of me. We departed, brokenhearted. I need to be free.
*My momma made me much wiser- what's mine will be just for me.
*Promise I'm glad you're happy. When it's my time, it will be! Look I'm moving on.



Don't Speak
**Remake of a great No Doubt song



Love Is You
**It is fair to say that one of the reasons I love this video is because it features an interracial couple... whatever- I'm allowed! :)**
*Freedom to breathe, oh baby, love is you.
*When the chips are down, love will stick around.

Mary Mitchell and the Death of Black Politics in Chicago

Hopefully we all know that Rahm Emanuel is the new Mayor of Chicago. In total bad ass fashion Rahm (don't you love how I act like I know everyone personally, so I call them by their first names?) was victorious in 40 of Chicago's 50 wards. His huge win was all over the papers today, and everyone, including Mary Mitchell wrote about what his victory means. According to Mary, Rahm's very decisive win over Carol Moseley Braun (CMB) "signals the end of the black political empowerment movement in Chicago."

As with most of her articles- I have an issue with this. She says that CMB was the 'consensus candidate' a title that was given to her by "a coalition of black business and civil leaders, clergy and activists." Um, first of all- who gave this 'coalition' any power over MY vote? I don't even like or respect half of the so called civil leaders, clergy and activists in the coalition. If I don't like them, why would I vote for the person that is going to cater to their needs? According to Mary, I should have voted for CMB because, like Harold Washington, she was picked because she had the best chance of winning City Hall. Apparently not. CMB is no Harold Washington, let's just go ahead and put that out there- she never WILL be on Harold's level, and truthfully, there was not a standout Black candidate in this race that I would liken to Harold, ever.

Mary then goes on to say that when only "40 percent of registered voters turn out to vote in an election...the failure is not just the candidate." Again, I disagree. Mary always seems to gloss over the most rational reason in order to play her race card, and I have to say- that shit is infuriating. Not everything is because Rahm is a successful White man. Not every downfall is because CMB is some lowly Black woman, either. In order to illustrate my point, I have a few take aways for Mary Mitchell and those in her school of thought. Ready?

            *I'm Black and did not even consider voting for CMB, or anyone involved with this "coalition" ridiculousness. CMB did (does) not represent my interests and I have no reason to vote for her. I don't like her personailty and I don't like her as a politician.

            *If Rahm wasn't in this election, I STILL would not have voted for CMB, James Meeks OR Danny Davis. I might have voted for Patricia VanPelt Watkins.

            *CMB showed exactly how outmatched she was when she started (and continued) to belittle her opponents, which was so unnecessary and not classy.

            *If CMB is the best that we have for Black politicians in Chicago, then 1. we should be ashamed of ourselves and 2. until we can get it together, I don't think another Black politician should be elected. Honestly, if I had the choice of CMB and Tony Peraica... I might just abstain from voting.

See, I don't prescribe to voting for someone simply because they look like me. There are tons of Black people in America right now who are pissed at Barack because they did just that and now they think that he is an awful President because he has not solved all the ills of the Black community. That is not his jobs and those who are upset should not have voted for him simply because he was the Black candidate. Shame on them. For that same reason, I refuse to vote for every Democrat, simply because that is the party I usually align with. Dude, if you are a moron, I don't care what party you are with-- I am NOT going to vote for you.

CMB did not get elected because she can't play the game of politics. She was a subpar Senator, and has done nothing with her political life since she lost re-election. She embarrassed herself on several occasions during this campaign and she lost. She lost because she was not the best candidate, not because she is Black. Not because the Black political empowerment movement in Chicago is dead, but because the "coalition" is made up of people who are no longer liked or relevant. If the "coalition" continues to back bad candidates, they will continue to lose-- and I will continue to be happy about it.

Wordless Wednesday - From Colored to a Colorless World

Wordless Wednesday - Choir Boys 1941

Valentine's Day Panic!!

So, the day is upon us. The day that single and involved people can do without equally. The singles- me included- can't go anywhere by ourselves without being stared at by googly eyed couples. They unknowingly (sometimes) give us a pity look and whisper to their significant other "Oh, look honey, s/he is alone." We get to watch you make out and hold hands, all sorts of lovely PDA for 24 hours (puke)... I mean, how exciting for you! :) The couples are always trying to do enough to make the partner happy, but not as much as Christmas or birthday. I mean, it is relatively early in the year... you can't front load the romantic holidays and come with all the bells and whistles in February, right?
I received an email asking what I suggest for a Valentine's Day present. I am not sure why this person asked ME, since I am single, but I will tell you what I would personally do. I have written about this before, the most intimate thing that I give my friends, family, whomever is music. I'm telling you, even if it sounds corny, music moves my soul. I generally tell people how I feel through some nice musically selections. Happy, sad, pissed off, whatever-- if you are in my life, I have a playlist for you! Please know that! The guy that this post is about, has a personal playlist on my YouTube channel and I have to say, it is not flattering! Whatever, music is my coping mechanism. So, it seems simple to me that on top of whatever I had planned for Valentine's Day (dinner, outing, flowers, etc) music would be involved somehow.
In this email, the writer did not tell me what kind of Valentine's Day celebration he is planning, but he did say that he likes Soulful Saturdays, so I will try to keep the music relatively current and try to cover all the basis with enough songs to fill up a couple CDs-- just in case you need to be hands free on the music front... :) Clearly, this list is in NO way exhaustive... My all time top 5 romantic songs are listed at the very bottom, and some songs that should be included are:
**So you should check out ALL of the Soulful Saturdays... all of those artists are a great place to start- so I will not mention them in the post.
**No mix CD is complete without Prince. Seriously, don't even try it. Despite popular opinion, not all of his songs are about sex. He is wonderful with love songs. The man is a musical genius, not to be surpassed-- and the sexiest 52 year old around! Check out: Call My Name, Morning Papers, Do Me, Baby (ok that is about sex), Insatiable, Damn U, I hate U, The Most Beautiful Girl In the World, Nothing Compares 2 U... the list goes on.

**Proposing? Try these songs out:
Amazed- Lonestar; I turn to You- Christina Aguliera; You Were Meant For Me- Jewel; I'll Be- Edwin McCain; Everything I Do- Bryan Adams; Always and Forever- Heatwave; I can love you Like that- All 4 One; Tonight I Celebrate My Love- Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson

Need to apologize? Try: Nobody Knows- Tony Rich Project; If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time- RKelly; When Can I See You Again?- Babyface (ok- truly anything by Babyface- he is amazing); More Than Words- Extreme; Anytime- Brian McKnight; How Do I Live- Trisha Yearwood Version; A House is Not A Home (Luther-- he is so bad I don't even need to put his last name!)

Need some grown up time? My One and Only Love- John Coltrane; Moments In Love- The Art of Noise; Come Inside- Intro; Two Occasions- The Deele; Intimate- Coming Of Age; Between The Sheets- The Isley Brothers; The Closer I get To You- Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway; Sexual Healing (Of Course)- Marvin Gaye

Romance: Somebody Loves You Babe- Patti LaBelle; Open Arms- Mariah Carey; Sweet Thing- Kwame; I Need Love- LL Cool J; Thank You For Loving Me- Bon Jovi; November Rain- Guns n Roses; Wicked Game- Chris Issac; True Colors- Cyndi Lauper; Your Song- Elton John; You're Still The One- Shania Twain; She's Like the Wind- Patrick Swayze (RIP); Kiss From A Rose- Seal; Bring It Home to Me- Sam Cooke (and Marc Broussard has a great remake) and finally-- almost any version of MY FUNNY VALENTINE

My Top 5 Songs... In No Particular Order
- Unchained Melody- Righteous Brothers
- When A Man Loves A Woman- Percy Sledge
- Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
- Just Breathe- Pearl Jam
- Adore- Prince (seriously- listen to those lyrics... "If God one day struck me blind, your beauty I'd still see... Love is too weak to define, just what you mean to me"-- That is some GREAT stuff right there.)

Soulful Saturday- Shai

These four young men from Howard University burst on the music scene my freshman year of high school and made me anxious to get to a college campus ASAP!! Seriously, musically talented guys on a college campus-- love it! I immediately fell for the tallest guy in the group (until I found his name was Garfield-- whatever, I was 14, and truthfully Garfield is NOT a flattering name). There seemed to be a working formula in the early 90s- guy groups, four members, harmonies, and slow love songs. Yep, I loved it! Remember Soul For Real, The Boys, Mint Condition and half of the groups on Soulful Saturday. Whatever that formula was exactly, I wish they would revive it... there is only so much nonsense I can listen to on the radio!! Below is one of the early 90s boy bands at their best!

If I Ever Fall In Love (Acapella)




Baby, I'm Yours
*Realize girl, that my faith is kinda torn.
*Watch your step- cuz my heart is weak and worn.
*Baby, I'm Yours



Comforter (My Favorite Shai Song)
**This song should remind everyone that when you take your loved one for granted, there is always someone willing to comfort them... permanently. Stay on your "A" game.**

*Lay down and tell me what's on your mind- what exactly did he do to make you cry this time?
*When you're in pain, I'm in pain- that's part of being a friend
*I don't mean to disregard your feelings, but I think that he's a fool-- he don't know how sensitive you are, and baby that just ain't cool.



Come With Me
*I'm turning to you, because you always seem to know what to do...
*I call on my only true friend in the world, my girl.

Fed Up Friday- Chicago

There have been several things on my mind about the city that I live in, that I really need to express. It is true that I choose to live in Chicago (thank you to one of my friends for reminding me, every time I say something negative about the city-- you know who you are!!). I love it here. I moved two states away from my friends and my family to make a life in Chicago and MOST days it seems totally worth it. There is always something to do; the people are welcoming without being super touchy feely (hot, black and bitter does NOT do touchy feely); the people of Chicago WORK-- hard, and party hard, which I can appreciate; and the people who make up Chicago's population are hard core. We survive Chicago winters every year, Chicago crime, and Chicago politics-- it takes a strong group of people to make it through that year after year. Trust me- I am six years in and it is hard! But with everything there is room for improvement, right? Right!

So here is part one of my Fed Up Friday- Chicago edition. I have severe issues with Cook County and taxes. Yep, I said it. Cook County has been the highest taxed county in the United States for two years (at least), yet it is all over the news that Cook County is broke. My taxes keep going up but the cops have to take furlough days? I have to go to Meijer in a neighboring state or county to really afford groceries and we can't pay police officers or city workers? There is a deficit? Um... What? I pay higher taxes than Los Angeles and New York and we are broke? Something. Does. Not. Compute.
Not only is the WHOLE county broke (and the state is financially ill too) but where I live is exceptionally bad. Damn. The south side is the step child in the city. The el doesn't come all the way down here (stops at 95th street, city limit stops at 136th street), and the services we receive are substandard. That is all kinds of messed up. I am a homeowner that pays the same percentage of taxes as some homeowners on the north side and I suffer because I live south of downtown? Huh? Let me give you an example: the closest major intersection in my neighborhood is 115th and Halsted. Halsted is a major street, and has mostly been cleared off from last weeks blizzard, but 115th (also a major street and an exit on the expressway) hasn't. In a majority of places it is down to one and a half lanes. Which doesn't sound awful, until you are stuck behind a bus. You can't go around, it sucks. Or it is Sunday and you have to wait for people to get into House of Hope's parking lot (which makes me curse at the people headed to church). And it has been a week and a half since the blizzard. What? On the north side companies are towing cars, clearing the snow and putting cars back. Um, I just more than one lane shoveled.
Where the hell are all my tax dollars going? I look around- we have a failing school system, public transportation systems that are always asking for money and raising rates, we're losing business because our businesses are getting tax breaks in other states-- which also means we are losing jobs, the south side gets ignored, we don't have enough cops, crime is skyrocketing (despite what the reports say-- it REALLY depends on where you live) and like Eddie Vedder says: "the haves be having more, yet still bored." And that is just the beginning. What the hell am I paying for? I want to see some return on my investment... there are just over 5 million people living in Cook County, paying some ridiculously high taxes and we are broke? Impossible.
So then the question remains- why do I live here? It has been asked often- especially during times of unemployment (or break ins), and honestly- it is the easiest question to answer. I live in Chicago and take all that it offers (or doesn't) because I love this city. I sincerely think that I am where I am, so I can help the people in my neighborhood. Everyone might not like my tactics-- hey, if your kid is acting like an asshole, I'm going to call him an asshole-- but it all comes from a good, less bitter place. I want to help the south side get the recognition that it deserves (we aren't all ghetto fab). I want my senior citizen neighbors to be able to feel safe in our neighborhood. I want the kids on my block to know that they can accomplish something more than knocking up some girl or standing on my corner all day. If I don't call attention to the problems and lay out a plan, how are they going to get fixed? Chicago is like a close family member-- if you live here, you can talk shit about the city (or inhabitants) because you live here and you experience this craziness. But you only get that privilege if you LIVE here. No outsiders can talk shit about your close family member or the City of Big Shoulders... When you do, you get to experience the Chicago Way... and that, my readers, has nothing to do with taxes! Happy Friday!

Wordless Wednesday - Tuskegee Airmen, 1945

Do You Know What Yesterday Was?

Yesterday was National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day in the United States. Did you know that? Have you been tested? Do you know your status? You may be asking yourself why there is a designated day for Black HIV/AIDS Awareness. The reason is that numbers don’t lie. While African Americans make up around 14 percent of the population in the United States, they account for more than half of all new diagnosis of HIV/AIDS. Digest that for just a minute.

I think that one of the reasons why HIV/AIDS is running unchecked in the Black community is our reluctance to talk about it. All day yesterday, I waited (and waited) for one of my 900+ buddies on Twitter and 800+ buddies on Facebook to mention what day it was, how important testing is, and how to educate your children so that there can be less diagnosis of HIV/AIDS in the Black community next year. I had one very vocal buddy on Twitter (thank you @raelt) and 5 on Facebook. You read that right—6 people. That is shameful. This disease is coming in and demolishing our community. Teen pregnancy may be down overall, but there are thousands upon thousands of teens who are contracting sexually transmitted diseases. We need to be teaching our community that in 2011, an unplanned pregnancy is not the worst thing you can get by having unprotected sex. We need them to understand that not all diseases can be cured. We need them to be taught that taking care of yourself is not just going to the gym… it is getting tested and convincing your partners to get tested.

The problem doesn’t just lie in the Black community. The United States as a whole is very mum on HIV/AIDS. We see the PSAs and automatically think of AIDS affecting some far off, third world country. It is not far off—it is your neighbor, a cousin, a friend… your blind date. You never know who, but the one thing you can be sure of is: it isn’t YOU. Get tested. Do it for yourself, and your partners- know your status.

Soulful Saturday- Boyz II Men

It may be a little cliche that I waited until February to post Boyz II Men for a Soulful Saturday, but hey, I *might* be a little cliche! :)
This super group made some serious (SERIOUS) baby making music in the 90s!! I remember going to Toledo with my church youth group and buying the tape at the mall, getting our chaperon to put the tape in (without looking at it) and singing along to "I'll Make Love to You" for exactly ONE minute before said chaperon realized what was going on and promptly removed the tape from the deck. That was an amazing song (plus I had a huge crush on Duane Martin, who is in the video-- those thick lips *sigh*).
Boyz II Men songs hold a special place in my heart and the hearts of most people that were coming of age in the early 90s. From Motown Philly to End of the Road, our teenage imaginations were set ablaze by the harmonies of these four guys. Talk about pouring your heart out to someone... OMG!! Still Amazing... wish they were touring, because I would certainly grab a ticket or two for a show!

**Note: I have omitted a song from this entry. "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday" is one of my favorite Boyz II Men songs, however, it was played at my brother-in-law's funeral and I have yet to be able to play that song since without crying. It is a great song, so please feel free to find it online... I just can't do it yet. RIP Daryl**

I'll Make Love To You

*tonight is just your night...
*pour the wine, light the fire, girl, your wish is my command-- I submit to your demands-- I'll do anything, girl you need only ask.
*I'm just gon concentrate on you...



On Bended Knee :)



Four Seasons of Loneliness
*Life's empty without you, by my side... My heart belongs to you, no matter what I try.



End of The Road
*We belong together and you know that I'm right
*Said we'd be forever, said it'd never die
*Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let go
*It's so natural, You belong to me, I belong to you
** And watch out for the guy talking** :)