Unemployment and Rand Paul- What does he know?

I don't work on Mondays. Let me re-phrase that- I do not leave the house to work a traditional job on Mondays. Actually Saturday through Monday night I am usually in front of the computer applying for jobs or traveling the city putting in applications... and avoiding the temptation to drink heavily. Tuesday through Friday, I work for a temp agency part time. My situation makes me want to pull my hair out. I am actively looking for employment. I have reworked my resume so much it is nauseating. I want nothing more but to have a job (or two, or three) to go to everyday so I can pay my bills- in full, when they arrive at my house. I don't care what those jobs ARE- I don't care what I have to do. I am not looking for a career- I am looking for employment and I am looking everywhere.

If you have not been affected by the economic climate in the United States, good for you! I hope that the economy will soon turn around for all of us. For me (and countless others), however, the present economic climate has been hard to weather. Make no mistake, I know that I am not alone. There are thousands upon thousands of people, from every background and every age group, looking for a way to support themselves and their families. Whoever falls into that category often falls prey to public opinion. Case and point: today I was applying for jobs and I ran across this article. Rand Paul, who is trying to get elected to the Senate has told people in my predicament to "stop whining and get back to work." Really??? And how does he propose that we do this? He is not sure. So, he wants me to take whatever job I get offered so that we can get the economy resuscitated and so that he and his cronies can cut the unemployment benefits (that I am NOT currently receiving) but he has no plan to go on. Sounds...MORONIC.

Let's all be clear: I have not received unemployment benefits at any point this year; I look for full time employment at least 5 days a week; I took a HUGE pay cut after I got laid off from a large non profit management position and I am not looking for a permanent handout. I have a college degree, but the job market is over saturated with people like me. I apply for grocery store jobs and have been told that I am way too overqualified. I apply for management positions and I am under qualified. I apply for whatever position falls into my employment background, spending my days off putting together cover letter and resume packets, praying for the chance to get a call back and an interview and for that I get a "stop whining"? Let's all take a collective guess as to what my response to Paul would be.

All I want to do is work. All I want to be is self sufficient. I am not looking for an extended handout- if I could have three jobs and pay my bills- I would take it, no hesitation. So I gladly type a great big "go to hell" just for Rand Paul and those that follow his line of thinking. Last time I checked Kentucky had double digit unemployment numbers- just like most of the United States, you jerk. Tough love? Sure, if there were jobs going unfilled or if I was just sitting on my ass doing nothing, you douche. Just because Rand Paul is not *in* my situation, does not mean that he can trivialize my situation. Shame on him. Rand Paul: you don't want to spend more money on unemployment benefits? Cool. You try to live off of $738 every two weeks (paying a mortgage and other bills by yourself), then come back and let me know how that works out. I am not holding out for a similar job, Rand Paul... I am trying to find any job.

Rand Paul is misdirected to say the least, but after reading about his other antics, I guess that I should just feel sorry for him and the people of Kentucky if he ever gets elected.

Where are the Parents with Heart?

Ok- short post now, longer post later. I was just visiting the Chicago Tribune website (for the 30th time today) and I ran across this article. Ok, I realize that 1. I don't have any children and 2. I have a tendency to be a little drastic when it comes to punishment, but I am going to stand by my first thought, which was this grown man needs to be in jail. For a long time.

All too many times, parents run to the rescue of their children, but I think that I would be hard pressed to try to rescue my son if he poisoned me with anti-freeze. Really hard pressed. What were his parents thinking?

Where Are The Parents??

On top of the "Fantastic Five" idea, I am also going to start shorter entries called "Where Are The Parents" (WATP). You would not believe how many stories I read everyday- mostly from the Chicagoland area- about children running amok and parents being noticeably absent or negligent. If you read some older entries, you see that I am no pushover when it comes to the kids. I see absolutely nothing wrong with correcting ill behaving children. Someone did it for me and I am nice enough to do it for the kids now. Generally, I am not fond of children. Let me qualify that-- I am not fond of children who have smart mouths and have not been raised to respect their elders or their surroundings. Kids that stand on the corner outside my house; kids who walk down the street shouting obscenities; children who throw garbage down in their neighborhood; kids that destroy their own neighborhoods, all examples of people who would be on my shit list. But, even when I am looking at those kids and wanting to punch them in the forehead, I often wonder where exactly are their parents?

Now, don't get me wrong. My parents took an active role in my life and definitely taught me right from wrong, but they were not with me 24 hours a day, every day. I get that sometimes kids get a taste of freedom and participate in questionable behavior... BUT... every day? The same kids? The same events? Where are those kids parents? Why are we letting our kids run households and neighborhoods? How is it possible that the kids in this entry (and any subsequent WATP entries) have the time to be nuisances all the time? Where are the hands that are supposed to guide them? Where are the parents that are supposed to mold them? Care for them? Correct them? Why do I have to do the work of a parent when I am clearly *not* a parent? The attached links will illustrate my point and while some of these stories are so ridiculous they are funny, please do not mistake my disdain for the kids AND the parents involved (or not involved as the case may be).

17 year old twin brothers in Dolton attempting to be pimps.

15 year old charged with murder.

18 year old charged with hit and run of her classmate.

Man hiding drugs in the diaper of the child he was holding.

SMH. Where are the parents?

Fantastic Five. My Monday Five

So I saw this concept on another blog and decided to participate in this fad- if you will. The actual title of the game is Friday Five and yes, I do know it is Monday, and the rebel in me does not care. :) You are supposed to list five people (dead, alive, real, fictitious-- from any time in history) that you would like to have lunch with, including what you would talk about. Wow- I can see that this will have to be an ongoing Friday (or any other day of the week) theme because I cannot limit my list to five- that is truly one of the downfalls of having one of your college degrees in history.

I think that looking at these fantastic five lists will give people great insight into what matters to you in life. You can see who they look up to; can probably figure out where they fall in the political spectrum; who (or what) they find very attractive and what may be going on in their lives at that particular moment. So needless to say this ongoing list by a liberal, underemployed, proud, 30-something black woman should be interesting, to say the least! I will say that this "assignment" will show everyone that people are multi-dimensional. None of us are *just* Democrats or Republicans; Black or White; conservative or liberal; gay or straight. We all have different sides, different things that we will stand for, and things that we will not. Those things have less to do with where we are presently (in life stages or location) and more to do with who we are (or are evolving into). Needless to say- I am excited to participate. So, without further adieu , here is my very first fantastic five list:

1. Barack Obama (and yes, I would invite my mother!): I would invite my mom because she loves, no really, *loves* him and her birthday was Saturday, so she deserves it! I would love to congratulate the President on breaking down some barriers and taking on a task that cannot be easy- being the leader of this country. Being as disagreeable as I am, the lunch would not go as smoothly as the President would like. I would tell him of my disappointment in the Arizona situation (blog coming), and the fact that we are still at war (2 times over). I would have to bring up the fact that I am very concerned with unemployment (still) and the uptick in violence that comes along with joblessness. We would also talk about how cities all over our country are struggling and maybe his next point of business should be to be a little more isolationist in nature, i.e taking care of the American people before we worry about other countries- bringing back programs that help the less fortunate, the infirm, the hungry, homeless, unattended to masses, those who are attempting to get their lives together and just need a little more help.

I would tell him that above all else to keep his head up... haters come and haters go and all he can do is do what he thinks is best for the American people.

2. Harvey Milk: if you don't know who he was- google. Immediately. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know where I stand on gay rights- if not, let me recap. Gay men and women should have the same rights as everyone else. Please don't give me the Defense of Marriage rap. Number 1- I don't want to hear it and number 2 in the year of Tiger Woods and Jesse James, just to name two, I would be hard pressed to think that heteros should have a monopoly on marriage. We are not shining examples. Life partners should be able to see each other in the hospital, adopt children and whatever else. People should not be denied because of who they love- and if you disagree, I absolutely appreciate your point of view, just practice some self control (and save yourself the embarrassment) if you are about to send me an email telling me that I am going to hell. We can all do without the ugly turn that would bring! :) As far as what I would ask Mr. Milk if he were still alive: I wonder how he would feel about the gay rights movement presently, what California (where he lived) lawmakers are doing to the movement, and where we should go from here. I think it would be an eye opening experience.

3. Emmett Till: I would tell him thank you for the ultimate sacrifice at such a young age and I would ask him what he thought about the Black community now. What he thought of the graduation rates of Black children. What he would say if he could... and if his sacrifice (and the sacrifices of his contemporaries) was worth it. Hmmm.

4. Jane Byrne: first (and so far- only) female Mayor of the City of Chicago. I won't tell everyone what I would ask her specifically, but generally I would ask her where to start. :)

5. Anderson Cooper: are you kidding? Super hot, smart AND a Vanderbilt? OMG. I would totally fail at keeping it professional, but I would (attempt) to ask him: when we are getting married! :)

Tonight's Saviors of Chicago

I just watched the Chicago Blackhawks beat the Philadelphia Flyers to win the Stanley Cup. In overtime. Amazing!! The city is on fire (not literally) and up until about an hour ago, the sounds of fireworks ( I hope they were fireworks) could be heard from the northernmost point of the city to the far south side.

I am convinced that I am a good luck charm. Ten months after I moved here the White Sox won the World Series and now the Blackhawks and the Stanley Cup. Yay!! Tonight's victory is super sweet and I am headed off the bed with a smirk on my face.

Mushiness Caused by Insomnia

I can count on one hand the times that a song has evoked an emotional response from me. There are a couple songs that make me tear up as soon as I hear the opening beats, but mostly I hear music and correlate it with every emotion but sadness. I added another song to the list this morning. Maybe it was the Blackhawks win or just insomnia in general, but as I was sitting here, drinking coffee regular (that is what my mom calls it), listening to YouTube videos from my childhood and reading the newspaper online, I really connected with this song.

It seems so weird that a song from the early 90s can still get me a little teary-eyed, but yesterday was a rough day, and if that excuse doesn't float I am totally blaming crying on the lack of sleep. :)

Just as I was going through some random playlist on YouTube I was reading a story about Chicago crime (shocker). Clearly, my blog reflects the fact that I am not impressed with Jody Weis (Superintendent of Police), so I read all the articles I can that include him.... Hey, you never know, I could be wrong about the guy (highly unlikely) or I could just find more fodder for my disdain (that is more like it). So "You Will Know" is playing and I am reading about Jody saying that homicide in the city is up 4% versus this time last year. Immediately, I hate him. This is the same guy that violent crime was down this year. This is the same guy who said that he would take a pay cut to keep his job, but offered no suggestions on how we can hire more police, or adequately pay them... even though he makes upwards of $300,000. Every time I see his face, tv or newspaper, I find it hard to talk myself out of cursing at him. I seriously want to slap his face!

So maybe I just needed a hug this evening or something! Whatever the case, this song came on and I felt a little better. Whatever happened to inspirational mainstream music? I think we need something like this or We Are the World again. Knowing that at the end of the summer more *young* Chicagoans will be the victim of homicide is disheartening. I look around my neighborhood and the sinking feeling that I get EVERY day cannot be accurately described. The ridiculously disrespectful kids, the non caring, self serving parents, the homes in disrepair, the joblessness, the drug dealing, hell- the laziness. Whatever happened to caring? Pride in your community? Pride in yourself? I get sick to my stomach when I go to the grocery store and see people acting... stereotypically. The world has enough jackasses, so why are we allowing ourselves to become part of that statistic?

I look around at the kids in my neighborhood and think that the future is in some serious trouble. Maybe people thought that when I was growing up? But I don't overhear conversations about becoming doctors and lawyers or store owners. I overhear stories about banging chicks, becoming a baby daddy (jeez, I hate that term) and playing basketball in the NBA. These kids are begging (silently) to be led in the right direction and we are doing them- and ourselves- a disservice by not setting boundaries for them. As a society, we should be ashamed that it has gotten this far from the goal of producing productive members of a working society. Where are the fathers?? You know, men who are an example for *all* the children that he is responsible for fathering? Where are the men that go to work and pay to support *all* their children? Where is the love and respect that children can only get from a father figure? Where are the real mothers?? You know- the ones that teach their kids wrong from right... the ones that you want to grow up and emulate. The ones that go to work to put food on the table, showing her children that independence is a wanted virtue? Where are the families?

Did I need Jody Weis to tell me that homicide was up 4%? Nope- I read the paper every day and I see a steep decline in my community already- and I know that it is city, state and country wide. Did I need Jody to tell me that our children are in jeopardy? No, I see it everyday. Parents are not visible, children are running the street. They think they can do what they want. They think that the world owes them.... and it doesn't. It is unfortunate and we need to work together to turn it around. Quickly. Before the kids decide they don't care; that they are not worth saving. We have to show them that times won't always be fantastic when you do the right thing, but it all pays off in the end. They are looking at us- and we are not showing them a great example.

So, for the music:

Key lyrics:

*I fought hard, y'all to carve out my place.

* Stand up tall, don't you fall... You will know.

* Your dreams ain't easy, but stand by your plan.

Pet Peeves and Being the Mayor of Haterville

I am sitting here, reading blogs and watching the Blackhawks vs. Flyers. I am usually on top of blog reading (or skimming), but the last few weeks have been packed full of nonsense. I didn't have internet access at home, and while I can read and write blog entries on my BlackBerry, I think that activity is adding to my eventual case of carpel tunnel syndrome (I am only half joking). So I have been writing entries out long hand, wasting paper and falling behind. On a good note- if the next couple of weeks are slow news weeks, I still have material. :)

So, as I am reading backlog blog entries of friends and acquaintances, I came across this. Full disclosure, I know one half of the Harlem Love Birds. Quiana and I went to high school together, so I am sure that we have similar thought processes. Needless to say, I really enjoyed this blog... it leads me to think that I am not the only one that sees bad behavior and comments on it. Last week, I was walking to work from the train and I saw a woman whose shirt was, um, inadequate at covering the necessities and I commented on it on my facebook status. A buddy from college asked me when I became a hater. Really? I don't think that I am a hater for pointing out the fact that I saw nipples on the way to work. In fact, other than being very humerous for me, I think that I would appreciate it if someone told me that I was giving the city of Chicago a boob show!

Whatever the case, Quiana has inspired me to post a portion of my list (like I need to have tons of encouragement!) And yes, I am only posting a portion of my list, because, as we all know, the list of things that annoy me is endless. :) Hopefully everyone will take this list for what it is- a funny, yet poignant list... but if you don't, I can totally take being named the Mayor of Haterville again.

Here we go:

Sagging Skinny Jeans or sagging any jeans- ever- I have talked about this "trend" on facebook. Ugh, it makes me want to vomit. People who sag skinny jeans look like they are wearing a diaper. It is on of the least flattering things ever. Sagging jeans has origins in prison life and for the life of me I cannot figure out why anyone would want to emulate that behavior.

Disrespectful children- hmmm, who knew I was gonna say that? I do not appreciate kids who think that they can do or say anything they want, to anyone they want. Since when do we let kids run us? My philosophy is if you are "grown" enough to pretend you are an adult, you are old enough to get your feelings hurt like an adult. Talk shit, you get shit. Period. I will not walk on eggshells for disrespectful kids.

Men carrying book bags to work- Really? Book bags have been played out since '92. If you have graduated from high school or college and you have a job, carry a briefcase. Seriously, you are not 14 years old and a book bag does not go with a suit. At the very least, carry a black or brown messenger bag. Take that as a helpful hint.

Women with visible tattoos- I have tattoos; I like tattoos, however, I do not want to see your body art while you are at a formal event. Ladies, do what I did- get tattoos in a place that can be covered by formalwear. No one you work with wants to see the name of the man you loved at 18; or the barbed wire that circles your arm. Remember that tattoos are forever, so stop it with the tackiness. Along that same line of thought:

Men with prison like tattoos- Dude, um, if we are sitting cross the table from one another in a business meeting, I should not be fearing for my life- so stop it with the knuckle tattoos. Sincerely, I like tattoo sleeves like the next person, but jeez, when they go from your arm, to your neck, I go immediately to uninterested. Keep it classy because when you are old and things are saggy, you *may* regret having your ex girlfriend's face tattooed on your body... just saying.

Clothes that are too short, long, tight or otherwise non-fitting- I know that summer is on its way, but I should not be able to see your underwear (or lack thereof). Ladies, stay out of your daughter's/little sister's/smaller friend's closets. You know whether or not your clothes fit, and no matter what you think the camel toe is not a fashion statement you want to make. Look at yourself before you leave the house. PS. look at your children before you let them leave the house. Just as a helpful hint: a 7 year old should not be allowed to dress like a 17 year old... for real. Guys, if I wanted to see your underwear, I am bold enough to ask. Um, walking behind you on the street has become a very personal situation. Pull your pants up. The idea is to be well put together, not looking like you rushed out of the house.

Loud Talkers on Cell Phones- with all the advances made with cell phones do you REALLY think that the person on the other line cannot hear you?? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING while walking down the street? I was on the train the other day and oh, this woman was totally over-sharing while on the phone. I mean, I know what her doctor said to her at her appointment last week. That is a lot. The public as a whole can do without knowing what health issues you have, what you and your significant other argued about that morning, or your drunken sexual exploits from the weekend.

Platinum blonde hair on black people- Yeah, I said it. I don't care if you are mad. It didn't work for Sisqo, or Lil Kim and it doesn't work for Amber Rose. Whatevs- there is nothing wrong with hair colors that we are born with, black, brown, red... or even if you had some honey colored highlights, but a whole head of blonde? I'll pass.

Finally... biggest pet peeve? It is a tie! People who stare- what the hell are you looking at??? If I have something on my face, tell me, but do NOT stare. It. is. rude! People who 'smack' their lips when they are eating- that is just gross. I don't want to hear or see what you are consuming. Ewwwwwww.

You all know that I could continue, but I won't. I can guarantee that I personally saw all 10 of the above named situations...today. We have so far to go! LOL

Soulful Saturday- Pearl Jam- Just Breathe

Wow. My love for Pearl Jam is well known. Since my first show in 2000, I have seen them 7(!) times (totally worth every show). My love for Eddie Vedder is an ever burning flame. Please do not try to convince me that he is not beautiful. Greater men have tried... all have failed!! :) Long hair, short hair, soul patch or beard, skinny or chubby cheeked- I love him. Those blue eyes have pierced my musical heart and I am his forever. That lovely, deep voice has lulled me to sleep many a night, and the lyrics that he writes move me to want to change the person that I am. I love that he isn't the typical superstar. I am not the typical Pearl Jam fan- it fits! :)

My future husband, whoever he is, WILL know this song. :)

Key Lyrics:

*Stay with me, oh let's just breathe...

*Practiced are my sins, never gonna let me win. Under everything, just another human being.

*Stay with me, you're all I see.

*Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? If I didn't I'm a fool you see... no one knows this more than me, as I come clean...

Soulful Saturday- Amy Winehouse- Love is a losing game

Ok, this girl is a mess. Her personal life has played in the media ad nauseam and she seems to like it like that. She is tattooed (which I like), uses too much make-up, pierced and socially unacceptable AND she sings beautifully. I love this video that I found. It seems so intimate and I actually like it better than the original version.

Key Lyrics:

* For you, I was a flame

* Love is a losing game- one I wish I never played- oh, what a mess we've made

* Self professed, profound... till the chips were down

* Though I battle blind, love is a fatal resign

Soulful Saturday- Ella Fitzgerald, Fever

Time again for the monthly Soulful Saturday posts. When I was growing up, Saturday was the cleaning day. My mom would turn on the radio and tasks were assigned. Generally, there were oldies on, which has to be where I get my... eclectic taste in music. There have been many versions of this song offered up, but Lady Ella sang my favorite rendition. Not trying to take anything away from Peggy Lee, Sarah Vaughan, Christina Aguliera, Beyonce, Michael Buble or anyone else, but Lady Ella sings to me!

America's Hypocrisy

I love being an American- even if the next couple of posts don't seem like it. I have been overseas and while all the countries that I have been to are amazing there is nothing like the United States of America. The freedom, the pride, the amazing people... With that said, we, as a country, have a lot of work to do.

For every person that is trying to do something positive there are more than a few that are trying to pull them down into some nonsense. For every proud American there is at least one person that doesn't care. I am supposing that the same can be said about any country- but I live here, so here we go:

Generally, I spend my time reading the news and either being 1) shocked at how horrible people are or 2) amazed at how giving and wonderful people are. There is usually no middle ground. It takes a lot for me to be shocked or to hand out accolades, all other news kind of falls by the wayside... not ignored completely, but not taking up brain space. My thought process is like that of many Americans, or at least I would like to think that. I am sure that people take away from the news what is pertinent to them and leaves the rest to be absorbed by others. We are all guilty. My problem with that is: it leads to apathy. People start to disregard very important happenings. That has happened- again- and I am bothered- again.

For almost a month oil has been leaking into the Gulf of Mexico, raise your hand if you knew about that. It is on track to being worse than the Exxon Valdez oil crisis of 1989, raise your hand if you knew that. No one seems to have a sense of urgency about getting the situation under control. Wow- am I the only one that sees that? BP is dragging their heels, the federal government is at a standstill (but what exactly can they do?) and the American public could seem to care less. Apathy has set in. This oil spill will forever alter the way of life for people who depend on the wild life in the Gulf of Mexico. Tourism will be affected. Those households that have been sustained by fishing jobs will no longer be, so unemployment will go up. All of this is happening under our noses in an area that has not bounced back from Katrina fully (and don't even get me started on how THAT could happen in the richest country in the world!) Yet, Americans, as a whole do NOT care. You know when Americans will care? Americans will care when gas prices go up, when seafood prices go up or their cushy life is otherwise affected. It is a shame really... days go by and all you hear about is rising violence, warm weather and wall street- all the while fellow Americans are suffering or are about to be suffering. Awful.

My dad has a saying, well actually it is a word that he repeats for effect: loyalty. In January, I took so much heat for my post about Haiti. I received angry emails from people saying I was heartless for not wanting to help Haitians in their time of need. Really? First of all, the American public is suffering right now. We were in January, last year, the year before, yesterday and today. Second of all: this is my blog and I will post whatever I want- you can keep those angry, anonymous emails. Actually, you can send me emails (or comments) about anything- even angry ones, but at least sign your name. Cowards need not apply... but, I digress. Even after my January post, there were fundraisers galore. People were on primetime tv, praying for and taking donations for Haitians. Spreading Haitian love everywhere. The Chicagoland area was on fire with fundraisers. Let me make this clear- I have NO problem with that, BUT now that the Gulf region needs some love, where is the attention? Where are the fundraisers (I only know of one- hats off to Lenny Kravitz and the other musicians who put on that concert). Where is the concern for your fellow Americans? Where is the fucking outrage??? We should be boycotting BP until they get this leak under control. We should have people on primetime tv asking for donations and praying for our countrymen and women. We should have help going down to all the states affected by this oil spill- immediately. What? You can do it for other countries, but have a problem doing it for other states? Where is your loyalty?

**Bring on those emails and comments** :)
Miss Mox

Me and My Ego :)

Take this for what it is... the truth! :)

I have questioned myself in the past and I am sure that I will do so again, but at the end of the day- I am comfortable in my own skin. This skin I wear every day is flawed. It hasn't been perfect for some time, and I am more than ok with that. I have scars from sports; life; love. I breathe in the mistakes that I made and I live with them every day. I look back on the life I have had thus far and there are just a few things that I mildly regret and there is nothing that I would change. I truly love who I am, who I have become because of heartaches/life lessons/missteps. I cherish each muscle, every scratch, every dimple (where did those come from?), gray hair (yep they are here), even every piece of evidence of overindulgence (most of that is located in my midsection).

I am truthful with myself, for the most part. I know what I offer and the weaknesses that no one else knows about, keep me company at night. I know where I should have given up and where I should have pressed the envelope just a BIT more. I am content with my all or nothing state of mind. I give and love with all that I have and have walked away brokenhearted many times. I have picked myself up more times than anyone knows. Battered and broken, I keep getting up. I keep looking life in the face and fighting like hell... isn't that what it is all about? Fighting the good fight every day? Living a life so full that you almost *burst*? Learning from mistakes and coming back a second, third, however many times, even more determined? I have met some people who have given up. They have lost. I refuse to lose. I was born to conquer. Conquer life and make it mine. And I will. I am.

I am fully aware how I come off to some people and mostly those thoughts make me shrug my shoulders- because I don't care. As Beyonce says "You can leave with me or you can have the blues. Some call it arrogant, I call it confident. You decide when you find out what I'm working with." I know what I am am working with- and while I can improve, like everyone else, I have a ton to offer. Self doubt is fleeting in this head of mine. This big smile, with a few missing teeth, is a fixture on my caramel colored face. I know that this sometimes scattered mind, with the help of these soft, often lotioned hands and short muscular legs, will lead me where I am supposed to go. Oh, this flawed body of mine is going to make it! This heart, my heart, will be broken again. It will get stepped on. Sometimes the blood that it pumps will be sad, or lazy, or unemployed- but it will keep pumping, and I will keep moving, breathing, learning, functioning...living.

Sometimes I want to be at my final destination right NOW. I want the place that I see in my head (the place where I am the boss and get what I want- HA) right now... but I know that when everything falls in line I will get there. I have visions of blue skies, not a cloud in sight, sunshine, angels singing, me on a throne... oh, wait- damn that ego strikes again. LOL

The point of this entry is: I am going places. I am a sight to see, a woman to fear/admire/bribe/love... a force to be reckoned with. Often times too strong, too much, too tough. I talk like this 'cause I can back it up! ;)

Happy Friday.

Come In From the Cold- Marc Broussard

April 27... Come In From the Cold

Key Lyrics:

* "Tell me every fear that you keeps you from this love of mine. Leave it all behind, lay by my side, I'll shelter you."

* "I've been hurt, just like you. I know how hard it is to give your love away, but baby it's safe; I'm warm..."

* "Love's the only way to heal a heart that love has wronged."

Chicago Street Violence, the National Guard and Jody Weis

I am angry. Somehow no one is ever shocked when I say that. Sometimes I mislabel my disappointment as anger, but this time, really, I am angry. The reason is this: I live in the best city in the nation (save your breath, no one will convince me otherwise) and this beautiful city is going to the dogs (read: the dregs of society).

It is not even Memorial Day weekend; the weather has not even been consistently hot and already the number of shootings and fatalities is staggering. Staggering to me at least. Last week, a 20 month old baby girl was sitting in a car with her sisters and she was shot to death by a coward that supposedly had some beef with her father. Two weeks ago, a 14 year old was shot on his way to school- he will now be paralyzed for life. Three weeks ago almost 30 were shot in a 24 hour period, and 17 of those people lost their lives. If you watch the news, both morning AND evening, the first 15 minutes are filled with whole neighborhoods being stifled by the sounds of gunshots; the stench of death still heavy from the prior nights victims; family members screaming in the streets over the still warm bodies of their fallen loved ones. It is awful and I, for one, am sick of it.

The most upsetting part of this whole ridiculous cycle is: if anyone else is sick of it- I can't tell. Mayor Daley keeps defiantly standing by his ban on law abiding citizens owning handguns, all the while criminals have them, and quite obviously use them. That combined with what I saw on the news last night makes me think that those in charge are going to sit back and allow violence to engulf this fabulous city like the flames of the Great Fire.

If you have read any of my blog entries, you are aware that Chicago, in fact the whole state of Illinois, is damn near broke. Our financial legs have been shaky since I moved here 5 years ago and every year it gets worse. One way that the city is remedying this budget shortfall is to not hire anymore police officers (NOT smart). On top of that brilliant move- note the sarcasm- Chicago "top cop" who seems as bright as former President Bush, was on the news last night saying that he doesn't see bringing in the National Guard for more protection in the city of Chicago as a viable choice for us. Um, why not?

It can't be because he is doing such a bang up job (pun intended). It can't be because we don't need it- because surely the whole month of April has shown that we need more help in order to slow some of this violence. Could it be Weis does not want to bring in the National Guard because he doesn't want his job to be in jeopardy? He doesn't want to admit defeat? He doesn't care about the communities that are affected? I say yes on all accounts. If Weis has to utilize the National Guard to put the brakes on Chicago street violence then he has to look at the (non) job that he is doing and admit that he can't handle this city. If Weis lived in Englewood, Roseland, Rogers Park, Humboldt Park, Chatham or countless other neighborhoods where crime is high and violence is an every day occurrence would he be more likely to put the pedal to the metal on this National Guard initiative? I would venture to say yes. When you get to leave the ghetto and go back to a cushy neighborhood where your life, and the life of your children are not in danger, it really is easy to say we don't need the National Guards help.

Well, I live on the far south side of Chicago, close to some of the above named neighborhoods and guess what? The law abiding, unprotected citizens NEED help. We either need more good police (which isn't going to happen) or we need a presence that will win back our streets. With budget cut backs we are losing community resources and social programs. People are unemployed in record numbers (within the city of Chicago it is still above 11%) and with no education, that number might be high for a while. So no money, no job, nothing to do all day...what do we expect when thousands more people are on the street after school dismisses for the summer?? If there have been 113 murders since January 1, what will that number reflect by the middle of the summer? 113- and that is when most people are cooped up for the winter. See, the knowledge that violent crime goes up when it is warm, and the economy being what it is right now, and Jody being so set on not getting help, made me have a Kanye West moment last night, and I emphatically repeat my statement: "Jody Weis does not care about Black people, nor does he care about the city of Chicago." If he did, he would do all that he could to make sure that violent crime did not take over this fantastic city...even if that meant he had to call in the National Guard.

Big Ben Roethlisberger, Roger Goodell and the NFL Draft

**warning: much like all of my blog entries this one will be biased. You do not have to agree with what I say, especially re: Big Ben (and most of you won't)... But seeing that I am from Ohio and I graduated from Miami University, what did you expect? :)**

Yesterday, Roger Goodell, Commishioner of the NFL released his punishment for Big Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Essentially Big Ben will be suspended, without pay, for 6 games for conduct unbecoming a football player. Hmmmm. What exactly is conduct unbecoming a football player? What does the commish want to get out of this punishment?

I guess this is the point of the blog where I say that this punishment is completely ridiculous... Ok, I said it. Big Ben is guilty of being a dumb ass, but that should not mean that he has to lose $2.8 million dollars during the season, while sitting the bench. Rape is serious, please don't think that I am disputing that. IF Ben raped that girl, he would deserve SO much more than a 6 game suspension and if it were proven that he did rape her (or anyone else) I would be first in line volunteering to punch him in the balls. BUT... Charges will not be filed, in fact, the victim does not want to press charges. That seems suspect AND he loses pay for 6 games? I am concerned.

I read the statement that was released. I have issue with the fact that the same victim has pics from that night where she is standing next to Ben, smiling; that she was able to bar hop at all- she is 20 years old; more importantly... Her girlfriends stood by and watched her be led away in a crowded club to a back room?? WTF? Ok- we all have known people with fake ids (20 year old bar hopping), and we have all been friendly with some shady people (smiling pic), but letting your gf be led away to be mishandled? That is so not happening in my group of friends. My girls would rather cock block than to have something untoward happen to me or any other member of our group. Then after being traumatized, dropping the charges and failing to want to prosecute does not make me believe this chick. There is just something so shady about this situation... But even though there is shadiness, Big Ben (BB) still gets suspended? That leads me to my second question: what does Goodell think he is gonna get out of this punishment?

My conclusion? He is setting an example. In the 4 years since Goodell has taken office, he has suspended 6 or 7 guys and fined Bill Belicheck if I remember correctly. He has had a lot to deal with. Looking back at the NFL controversies that I remember, even before Goodell took office- Rae Carruth, Chris Henry (RIP), OJ, Donte Stallworth, Maurice Clarett (grrrr), Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson, Pacman Jones, Mike Doss and the creep- Michael Vick. Even super sexy Ray Lewis has been in trouble. I name them to make the point that Goodell indeed does have a hard job, keeping charge of little boys, with little minds and big bodies. But does that mean the he should choose BB to be his prime example? I don't think so, but he has. The creep (mv) lied directly to Goodell's sweet face, served time in jail and he still has a job. The NFL is still making money on the back of that man. BB is serving a sentence for a crime that has not been proven and will not be persued. That seems unfair...so does trading Santonio Holmes for a freaking 5th round draft pick. So, is Goodell trying to make the NFL a league of role models or is he trying to make sure the freshmen football players understand that they will be dealt with harshly? I think it is the latter and the Pittsburgh Steelers are unhappy victims.

Moral of the story:
* BB- stop thinking with that little head. Every chick is not worth it. Stop embarrassing the state of Ohio and the athletic department of Miami University. Essentially, stop being a schmuck.

** GA girl: stop bar hopping underage. If BB assaulted you, prosecute his sorry ass. If he did not assault you, shame on you.

** Goodell: relax a little bit. Punish those who deserve it, and take on the idea of our court system: innocent until proven guilty.

** Freshmen players: watch your back. Bad behavior will not be tolerated (not a bad thing) and the look of anything inappropriate will get you in trouble too... Walk that tightrope very carefully boys. :)

Miss Mox

Successful Black Women and Marriage. Is it possible?

I am 30-something. I am Black...and up until two years ago, I could have been considered slightly successful. :) Do those three things ensure that I will remain single? After watching this lovely Nightline special, it seems that the answer to that question is yes.

What is the reason that all these successful Black women will remain single in such high numbers (there is an estimate that says as many as 70% of educated Black women will remain unmarried)? I argue that there is more than one reason. Some classics that I have heard are: we are too argumentative, too proud, too picky, we don't know how to let men be men, we are non accepting and (my favorite) we are so unattractive that even our own Black men do not want us.

To all of the above excuses I say: are you f*cking kidding me?? Really? Here are my answers to the above. Argumentative, proud and picky: damn right I am! Absolutely. Let me say this- I did not put myself through college so I could put up w dating a man (of any color) who does not meet my standards. I am smart; my mate will be also. He will have a real job... He will (probably) be educated and we will have things in common. So? That is not a bad list. That list does not make me a bitch- that is me requesting a mirror image of myself. And guess what? I deserve that. I didn't work hard so that I can get married and lose half my shit to a deadbeat- no matter who it is. And don't worry yourself- I am an elitist with everyone- across the board- if you don't have what I want, I will not be interested long. Side note: if we've dated and it was less than a year- you did not posses what I wanted. Sad, but true!

Not letting men be men... As far as I can see, more men need lessons on being men, not just big boys. I have no problem being led- IF I have a good leader. I have no issue relinquishing control, if the person with the reins knows what he is doing. I just cannot find a man who knows what he is doing. Being a man does not mean you are able to produce children; it means that you are able to support them. Being a man does not mean that you are able to make money illegally; it means that you are able to make a legal living and use it to live within your means and take care of your family. Being a man does not mean that you 'bed' every woman who looks good to you or looks at you or feigns interest in you, it means that you actively look for A (as in one) woman that you could actually have something with and sleep with her (and only her). Lastly, being a man does not mean that you take all that unhappy baggage from your LAST relationship into your NEW relationship; it means that you learn from past mistakes and grow from them. There are many reasons why the men that I have dated are not exactly marriage material- and it isn't because I spend my time emasculating them. Maybe they had lacking examples of what a man should be and are therefore struggling with how to be a good man themselves.

Am I demanding? Damn right! I've earned the right to be. Does that mean that I am unbending? Absolutely not. Relationships are about give and take. I know that. I didn't make it 30-something years and not learn a few things. I love men. Manly men. Someone who completes the person I am- as corny as that sounds! Great personality and a good heart is what I am looking for. That and a great education... Like myself. I don't apologize for that, even if it means that I remain unmarried. I WILL NOT settle so that I can be married. Do I want to be married- absolutely. Am I willing to change what I am looking for? Nope. I can tweek my list but I ain't throwing it out the window completely!!

As far as the unattractive thing... Please, I'm HOT, so we all know that point is moot! ;)

What do you see as the outstanding reason why so many Black women are unmarried? Do you care? Comment or email- let me know! :)

Soulful Saturday #3

Today's list would not be complete without a Sade selection. When I was growing up, my parents (luckily) listened to great music. My sister and I were exceptionally blessed because we had parents who were young, hip but not trendy per se. They didn't listen to crap :) And now, I am following in their footsteps and listening to good music. We have actually seen Patti LaBelle in concert a couple of time- she puts on a sweet show!! I wish that we saw Sade- because she has sounded great for as long as I can remember... Soldier of Love is no exception. Sidenote: she has looked this phenomenal for as long as I remember also- gotta find out what that secret is!! :)

Key Lyrics:

* I've been torn up inside/ I've been left behind/ So I ride/ I have the will to survive

* I know that love will come/ Turn it all around/ I'm a soldier of love

Soulful Saturday, #2

Melissa Etheridge is awesome. Yep, I love her. Her voice is mesmerizing and can pick me from the lowest depths. Isn't that the purpose of music? I hope so!! Such passion, such...perfection- before and after her battle with cancer. A-MA-ZING.

Key Lyrics:

* I'm the only one who'd walk across the fire for you. And I'm the only one who'd drown in my desire for you. It's only fear that makes you run, the demons that you're hiding from. When all your promises are gone- I'm the only one.

* Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away. You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you down today.

Soulful Saturday

Raises to the CPS Brass? How is THAT possible?

I am a news whore. That should be of no surprise to anyone. I watch it all- Liberal, Conservative, Empathetic, Infuriating- whatever. I follow the news all day long. I am "that" friend that will know what has happened before anyone else. I pride myself on it. I LOVE it. If I am shocked by some news, I better had been in a coma because I am addicted to my Blackberry and news on the computer, which I sit in front of almost all day. So, when I read the following on my BlackBerry screen early this morning, I thought I was hallucinating. I turned on the local news and there it was again- no hallucinating on my part... cue the anger. Seriously, rage and it was way more than what I feel just because I haven't had my morning coffee. I.am.pissed.

What has me in a pissed off mood? If you ask the right person, he might say "everything" (lol) but the following had my face go to "the look" this morning: "Amid Cuts, CPS Brass to Get Raises." WTF???? I did some investigation (I am good for that) and here is what I found: The Director of Sports will get a $6K raise, the CPS spokesperson will get a 17% raise and the CEO will get a 13% raise. There are several reasons why I am pissed about this. In no particular order:

1. just over a month ago CPS CEO Ron Huberman said that Chicago Public Schools were facing a $1BILLION deficit. But he can get a raise? With this bump in salary, he will be getting paid $230K, to lead a broke school district? Damn, I need that job!

2. The Director of Sports is getting a raise?? Really? Because last month CPS removed all sophomore sports from schools. So, let me get this right: the number of sports available to students DEcreases and the guy in charge of sports for the school district gets an INcrease in salary. Wow.

3. I don't know what the spokesperson for the school district does. I mean, is it her job to deny all things that go on in schools and say "no comment" when people get hurt or there is a lawsuit? If so, again, I would love to have that job- for $130K. None of the 3 people getting a raise are in the classroom dealing with students all day; none of them look students in the face and tell them that their favorite teacher is being fired, or that they won't be able to participate in sports. Nope, the people getting the raises have the cushy jobs and hand down the hard verdicts.

4. I don't think that ANYONE in charge of CPS should get a raise until the graduation rates for CPS students increase. In 2006 only 52.2% of all students enrolled in CPS graduated. That is like an F-. That year CPS was the third largest school district in the country and had the best graduation rate out of the largest 5 school districts, but that is not saying much. (The 5 largest school districts are: NYC, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami-Dade County and Broward County.) So, for an F- the people in charge get paid more money??

5. Definitely not the least of the problems that CPS is dealing with: teachers are getting laid off. Are you kidding me? Who the hell thought that THIS was the proper time to hand out raises? Why doesn't Ron Huberman give his raise to save the salary of one teacher? OMG, all three of them could give their salary increases to save jobs. If every one of them is making more than 100K wouldn't it make sense to forego the raise for THIS year? Wouldn't that be the proper thing to do in a district where everyone is suffering? Nope- that would obviously be too much like right.

If I ever (mistakenly) have children :), they will never, ever go to a CPS school. I will take out a second mortgage on my house (in the hood- with the terrible neighbors) or sell it all together for a private school education. I don't have any children in CPS, and it sincerely burns me up to see my tax dollars being spent so irresponsibly- especially during an economic time when EVERYone should be concerned with efficient/productive use of funds. Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous? Can't be! Email me or comment and let me know your thoughts.

Miss Mox

Michelle Branch - "Goodbye To You" Live Acoustic

Remember this song?
It has made a reappearance in my playlist since a couple things have happened. Amazing song and it sounds even better in this rendition.

Key Lyrics:

"Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You're the one I loved- the one thing that I tried to hold onto."

"And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you, but I'm not giving in this time."

"You're my shooting star."

Miss Mox

Marvin Gaye - Inner City Blues (Hughes Brothers Video)

I have been thinking about the state of the United States a lot lately and I heard the Marc Broussard remake of this Marvin Gaye song and everything was understood to a different degree. Amazing that this song was released in 1971 and now in 2010 it is still very relevant. All lyrics are below... see if you see a connection with life today.

Dah, dah, dah, dah
dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Rockets, moon shots
Spend it on the have nots
Money, we make it
Fore we see it you take it
Oh, make you wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
This ain't livin', This ain't livin'
No, no baby, this ain't livin'
No, no, no
Inflation no chance
To increase finance
Bills pile up sky high
Send that boy off to die
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Hang ups, let downs
Bad breaks, set backs
Natural fact is
I can't pay my taxes
Oh, make me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Yea, it makes me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Crime is increasing
Trigger happy policing
Panic is spreading
God know where we're heading
Oh, make me wanna holler
They don't understand
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Mother, mother
Everybody thinks we're wrong
Who are they to judge us
Simply cause we wear our hair long

St. Patrick's Day Discrimination

Relax… the title is only half deceiving! I am not going to write about the type of discrimination that you are thinking of- not in this post. Now that that is out of the way, I do have to preface this piece with a couple of very important statements: 1. I LOVE, love, love St. Patrick’s Day. I love the sense of community at the events; love learning new things and as many of my friends can attest, I happen to really love Irish men! 2. I love the city that I live in. Chicago is a wonderful, beautiful city and although I complain about the politics and my neighbors (because they are garbage can stealing douche bags- I digress), I wouldn’t trade Chicago for anything right now. I bought a house here, my (limited) social life is here and there is always something to do, see, or complain about! Seriously, I love this city. I could have chosen to live anywhere… With that said: How pissed am I (and a few thousand others) that the South Side of Chicago no longer has a St. Patty’s Day Parade?? In a word: VERY.

Here is the deal with the south side: we get treated like the red headed step child (all apologies to red headed step children reading this). We don’t get grocery stores like the north side, we don’t have baseball groupies like the north side (that is actually a good thing) and we don’t get the amenities of the north side- the el stops at 95th street, but the city extends to 132nd Street, our bus routes are the first to get cut, and out Metra stations need some serious refurbishment. Add to that scenario, the organizers of the parade, who were backed by the city, decided that there would be no south side parade because of excessive public drunkenness and lewd behavior. Hmmmmmm…W.T.F????? What exactly happens at ALL St. Patrick Day Parades? Including the one downtown? Ah yes, I believe there is a pub crawl or two. I believe that there are always a few lost, drunk souls. I believe that as long as there are people who will gather outside in sub 40 degree weather, dressed in green concoctions, shaking shamrocks in your face and drinking green beer at obscenely early hours, someone is going to be drunk. SO.WHAT???? I will throw in the following sentence because I am not (repeat NOT) a fan of the northside baseball team- Wrigley is a walking talking pub crawl- every home game- always. And you know what doesn’t happen? They don’t cancel home games. Hell, those raunchy fans are hardly reigned in. Yet, one day a year the south side cannot have a parade????

I am miffed, discouraged, and all around disgruntled. When will we get some equality on the South Side??? Now I will sound like a cubs fan… Maybe next year.

Miss Mox

Loyalty to your company??

I just read this story, and I am seriously questioning the logic of this blurb. While I do believe that loyalty to the company that you work for is up, I think that it is out of necessity. I, like most people I know, are so excited to have a job- any job- that loyalty to the company we work for is a no brainer. We aren’t going to bite the hand that feeds us. I won’t, and I have been known to be a biter (ok, I was 2 and I am sure I was defending myself!)
As a temporary employee, I can say that I am excited about having a job in this market; the ability to pay bills makes me happy, and I want to do a good job, so that I will be invited back as much as possible. Does that make me loyal to this company, or loyal to my responsibilities? That remains to be seen.

Orianthi - According To You

So- the lesson of the day... What you hate, the next man will love. Appreciate the person that loves you because when she leaves the hole left behind will be shockingly disturbing to your life. You will never know exactly how much you cared, until she is gone.for good. Watch what you say and do- karma is always right.around.the.corner...

Key Lyrics:

"According to him, I'm beautiful, incredible. He can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible. Everything he ever wanted...
"Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it. So baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not- according to you..."

Chicago: Good News, Bad News

Hello, City of Chicago! :) Forbes magazine and I have good news and bad news...

GOOD news: the city that we all know and most of us love have moved down on the 'most miserable' city list. In 2008, Chicago was ranked #3 in the nation... Hmmm, the third most miserable city in the whole nation. Not sure how much I actually believe that. Rankings were based on weather (now I see!), violent crime, job availability, etc.
So, the amazingly good news is- we aren't #3 anymore.

Bad news? Yeah... Chicago is still on the list! (Boooo). In 2009, Chicago was ranked #10 (hey, it's an improvement!) on the most miserable cities. Same criteria, just 7 spots down the list. And the #1 most miserable city? The midwest seems to reign supreme on this list because the #1 city is Cleveland, Ohio. For all my Ohio readers from central Ohio, just repeat after me: it.is.not.Columbus! :)

The Chicago Strong Arm

Last Tuesday was a primary voting day here in Illinois. I still get fired up (of course) but primaries notoriously have very low voter turn out. Last Tuesday was no exception, but some people did come out and vote. Thankfully, Todd the Troll Stroger was voted out of office and some new blood entered the political realm, or so we all thought.

Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen was slated to be on the November ballot as the Democratic choice for Lt. Governor, but I just read on Chicago Tribune mobile edition, that he has done what was asked of him and dropped out of the race. Do I have a problem with that? Uh, hell yeah.

1. The people who did vote last Tuesday, voted for Scott Lee Cohen. How dare the Democratic party assume that the people of Chicago needed help with their choice?

2. The Dems had PLENTY of time to vet all of the candidates. Why is everyone acting like a) they don't have a past and b) this is the first they have heard about Cohen's past? In every article I have read, it has been stated that Cohen was very upfront about his past, so I am confused as to how it was ok when he was spending money and no one thought he would win, and is magically NOT okay now that he has won...

3. Somehow I know that the people who are asking for Cohen's resignation are not innocent politicians who just want him to drop out for the betterment of Illinois. Whenever you point to someone and claim that they are too corrupt, generally you have some 'corrupt' skeletons in your closet. Somehow Pat Quinn who was Lt. Governor under Blago doesn't strike me as someone who can now be holier than thou.

4. His prostitute ex-girlfriend is saying that he should drop out of the race. Really? Are we all taking advice from convicted prostitutes now? Seriously?


I still take a lot of grief about boycotting Michael Vick. We all know I am an animal lover, but mostly I am pissed because he is a liar. He did unspeakable acts and lied about it. Scott Lee Cohen was truthful about his past, yet one has a job and the other does not...on the word of politicians and an ex prostitute, Cohen has lost the job that the people of Illinois felt he should have...wow.

Did Cohen just become the latest victim of a political strong arm tactic? Yes, I believe he did. Should he have dropped out of the race? Nope, I don't think so. Will be interesting to see how this plays out.

Help/Aid to Haiti- Suggestions and Pitfalls

So- I totally have NOT been keeping up my New Years Resolution of blogging on a consistent basis... but I am working on it, I promise!! I have, however, been keeping up with the news. When you fancy yourself a "blogger" news becomes like second nature. It really is almost like having your morning coffee- which, if you know me, you know I cannot do without. I watch the news in the morning; I read the news online throughout the day; I watch the news at night... maybe I am in overload, but I like it!



My news overload has gone into overdrive lately. Every channel I watch has an opening story of the devastation that has taken over Haiti after the earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of people. It is mesmerizing and it makes me sad. To see all the faces full of anguish and uncertainty. To hear of all the families that have lost husbands, wives, children. To see the huge outpouring of emotion and money from all over the world... nothing less than amazing. I will venture out and say that the world response has given me a new respect for humankind. It is nice to see that neighboring countries care. It is nice to think that we may all be a part of a world... not just our own little worlds (I never really leave my pretend world where everything is about me- and I invite all of you to enter the world where it is all about me...through this blog), but something giant and slightly all encompassing. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to put your own "problems" in perspective.



There has been a lot written about the pitfalls of American aid specifically, in the wake of this natural disaster. When you do something, people always want you to do more (or less), and no matter what there are always opinions about what you should be doing, why you are helping, what you did, how horrible you are, etc. One article in particular was written by Bill Quigley and posted on Democracy Now! His article is entitled "Ten Things the U.S. Can and Should Do For Haiti" and of course I take issue with a few of his points.... would it be any fun if I just agreed? :)

Most of his ten points make sense to me- treating people humanely and asking to be in the loop as to how much money is raised, where that money goes and the percentage that is actually going towards the cause... that makes sense. Below are the points that I will argue with (surprised? nah- didn't think so!)

** "One. Allow all Haitians in the US to work. The number one source of money for poor people in Haiti is the money sent from family and workers in the US back home. Haitians will continue to help themselves if given a chance. Haitians in the US will continue to help when the world community moves on to other problems." Um, no. Sorry Mr. Quigley. As an underemployed college graduate, I HAVE to disagree with you. Unemployment has skyrocketed in America over the last two and a half years. I have ex-classmates who are losing their homes, or moving in with their parents so they can make ends meet. I have been told (several times) that I am overqualified for jobs. States (including the one I live in) are on the brink of bankruptcy and having to come up with funds for thousands of newly unemployed workers. We, as a country, are not on track and one reason for that is we give jobs away. We routinely look the other way as jobs are outsourced and exported and I am not willing to advocate for thousands of non US citizens taking jobs off the market, when tons of tax payers are not getting a regular paycheck. So we will put this in the disagree pile.

**"Three. Give Haiti grants as help, not loans. Haiti does not need any more debt. Make sure that the relief given helps Haiti rebuild its public sector so the country can provide its own citizens with basic public services." Um, again... no. Guess who else does not need anymore debt? Ding, ding, ding- you are correct if you said the United States of America!!

**"Five. President Obama can enact Temporary Protected Status for Haitians with the stroke of a pen. Do it. The US has already done it for El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Sudan and Somalia." And he has done it in this case also. According to The Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Naplitano, 'Any Haitian in the US prior to the earthquake will be allowed to stay for 18 months to work. Any Haitians attempting travel to the US will be sent back to Haiti.'

**"Six. Respect Human Rights from Day One. The UN has enacted Guiding Principles for Internally Displaced People. Make them required reading for every official and non-governmental person and organization. Non governmental organizations like charities and international aid groups are extremely powerful in Haiti – they too must respect the human dignity and human rights of all people." Agree- but realize that the United States is not the only country that is helping out. This needs to be followed by everyone... even Haitians- specifically those in control.

**"Seven. Apologize to the Haitian people everywhere for Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh." I laughed when I read this. Out.Loud. If you regularly read this blog, you KNOW that I am not a fan of extremists- unless they are extreme fans of mine- and I do think the two men mentioned are ignorant morons, BUT here in the United States of America we have a lovely thing called Freedom of Speech. Even though I would like to choke Rush and Pat, they have a fan base and they have the right to say whatever they want- within the confines of the law. I am just hoping that the stupidity that came out of their mouths will let their "fans" see who they really are. But it may not be wise to attack very established American rights while American citizens are emptying their pockets to give money to Haiti. Plus, America as a whole should not apologize for Rush and Pat.... they should show some human emotions and do it themselves, prime time, Fox News, to be replayed over and over and over and over again...

You can check out the whole article here. Please do not read anything into this entry. I believe that we all should help Haiti- so don't start emailing me telling me I am a heartless bitch. I just think that the US cannot be the only country making sacrifices, especially since we are struggling. My thoughts and prayers go out to Haiti. I hope that recovery is swift, memories of this horrible time are short and their pride in Haiti is forever. God bless the Haitians, the relief workers, those sending financial help... and God Bless the United States of America. (See, I am sounding Presidential ALREADY- watch out world!) :)

"Maybe I can convince time to slow up..."

I have been listening to a lot of music lately- and it has been reflected in my blog. Music has a special quality- it can reverse the bad day vibes. Bad day vibes were so overabundant today. Tomorrow, January 6, will be the seven month anniversary of the death of a friend, a brother of mine. Yesterday, January 4th would have been his 40th birthday. I attempted several times to post this blog on his actual birthday, but it was too emotional for this self proclaimed 'non emotional' person. I couldn't do it. Honestly, I am a little weepy while typing this. Sometimes it is actually harder to be that friend that everyone leans on. That means that you can't mourn the same as everyone else... things can't hit you the same. That is how feel about the death of my friend. While I was busy being strong for everyone else, I never really got to mourn a great guy who left way too soon.

It is funny, because I was not around him much, because I live in Chicago and he (and my bestie) lived in Columbus. But whenever we got together, it was like I lived there- like we had just seen each other the day before. It takes a special person to be in a relationship with a woman who has a friend like me. I can be mean...no really, I can be, have been and will continue to be to those who deserve it. Ask any of my close girlfriends, I am sure they have horror stories of me meeting their significant others. What can I say? Some people just don't make the cut, and those who didn't knew RIGHT away. I have been told that I have a very expressive face- like your date says something really dumb in front of me and I am UNABLE to not have my disappointment in his ridiculous stupidity show on my face. Yep, I am totally that friend. Sincerely, my girlfriends are my pride and joy; they are my sisters. I have very few and I am very protective, so their dates have to be the cream of the crop... same for me. My girlfriends tell me when my dates fall short. Depending on who I ask, the critique ranges from simply, "I just don't think he is the one for you" to some comments that my mother should not read on my blog! We are like that- we have no secrets- and we know each other better than our respective significant others ever could. That is the way it is supposed to be! :)

So, when Racy introduced me to Daryl when they started dating, I immediately attempted to figure out what was wrong with him. I looked for a long time and came up with nothing- very weird! I have to admit, I look after Racy a little more than the other girls. She is just so sweet; the kind of person that would give you the shirt off her back. I mean, I know that people say that about their friends all the time, but seriously, Racy would. I really think that God brought her to me to be the calming force in my (slightly) self centered world. She, unlike anyone besides my mother, can get me to understand that sometimes (SOMETIMES) it is not all about me. Not a lesson you want to hear from everyone!! But she says it as nice as possible. She has had her feelings hurt, by me, more times than both of us will admit. She has cried and probably wondered why she is friends with my evil ass, but I would go to the end of the Earth for that chick and I know she would do the same for me. After the train wreck that was her first marriage (still don't really talk to that one.... I think he may have nightmares about me [evil laugh]) I was NOT looking forward to letting anyone in our family circle for a while. But then I met Daryl and I knew that my friend would be ok. I think I loved him from the start. There was never any awkwardness; there was never those stupid 'pregnant pauses' where everyone in the room feels weird. He just had a way to make me feel like he had been around us forever. He broke the ice... by making fun of me. :) Not a course of action for just anyone, because I am hardly the one that take kindly to jokes about myself...

There was just an ease about him that was unexplainable. He knew exactly what to say in order to make everyone in the room feel comfortable. And you could tell because at his funeral, all different kinds of people were there to celebrate this life, this force field, this man that touched people with an ease that skilled politicians don't have. In one fell swoop, I knew that my friend would be ok because her knight in shining armor was... just like me! A little rough around the edges, but deep down, he was golden! And he did take care of my friend. I think he was put on this Earth for her. They did everything together and made love and family look easy. They made it look easy.

It is hard to be sad because Racy and Daryl were blessed with so much. Each other, a home, and three great kids. Although I didn't see him much, there has not been a day in the past seven months when I didn't think of Daryl. I wonder how my friend is going too make it without her other half; wonder how my god-kids will turn out without their daddy; wonder who is going to give my future husband (whoever he is) the "speech" about treating me like a Queen [ok, my dad is going to give it, OF COURSE, but generally there is a peer that gives it too, so that the husband knows he would be seriously hurt]. I wonder how I am going to make it without my brother. I don't even think that Racy knows how much I miss her husband; how much faith he gave me in my search for my other half; how much joy I derived from seeing them together and happy. Amidst all the marital turmoil that I see everyday, it was amazing to see a young couple that was making it together. He gave my sister security and for that I will always be grateful to him. I miss you Daryl, every day. Please continue to look after my friend and the kiddies... and if you have time, look after my nutty ass. Thank you for being a shining example of what a man SHOULD be. Thank you for making my sister happy. Love you, Big Bro... RIP Big D

"Time, be my friend... and let me start again" Stephanie Mills- Home

Nina Simone- Feeling Good

And oh what an anthem for the new year... Feeling Good by Nina Simone.

Key Lyrics:
Freedom is mine/ And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For Me
And I'm feeling good

Am I Blue? Billie Holiday

I have heard several versions of this song, and I favor Ms. Holiday's by far. Simply amazing.

Vivian Green - Emotional Rollercoaster

Can't remember if I have ever posted this video... if not, I have been special because I rock out to this all the time. I have both albums and am waiting for her to go on tour... in fact, I will check now to see when she is headed to Chicago. Vivian has a great voice... and Love Story is an album that everyone can relate to.

Marc Broussard - Let Me Leave

AMAZING... this year's lesson in a song. Here's to no more time wasted on unrequited love. Sing it Marc!! :)

Let me be who I am; Let me leave while I can; you know LOVE DONT FIND THIS SORT OF MAN... so, ladies- let him leave while he can.

Taking the law into your own hands

On Saturday the Chicago Tribune ran a story about a Wauconda (far northern suburbs of Chicago) couple who shot and wounded two masked men that pushed their way into their suburban home. As I laid in bed, reading the story on my BlackBerry, I secretly cheered for the couple that stood up for their rights as homeowners. You see, on Wednesday, December 23, while I was at work, some scumbag broke into my house. When I returned home, my back window was broken, the back door was open and my house had been ransacked. Among my missing items were two of my dogs (which, if you know me, you know those were the FIRST possessions I had to get back), two kennels, the dog food, cell phones- one activated, one not, orange juice from the fridge (rude!!!), groceries (SUPER rude!!), a laundry basket (I am assuming this was taken to assist with lugging all my crap outside) and my peace of mind. They threw clothes around, paper all over the floor, let the remaining dogs roam the house- which was the beginning of an all too different kind of mess for me to clean up. I was...devestated.

Let's stop for a minute and disregard the fact that someone ruined my holiday season- I did not go to see my family and did not celebrate Christmas this year because I was afraid that I would be burglarized again. Let's disregard the fact that only the lowest of the low actually STEAL from others... how low are you that you would steal someone's DOGS???? I mean really. Wow.

Here is the other part of this unbelievable tale- somehow some "good samaritans" found my dogs. The quotes are there because I am not sure if they are actually good or perpetrators of the crime. They "found" my computer too. Actually, they supposedly paid $300 for my computer and now want a reimbursement- which is not going to happen. I can't shoot the jerks that broke into my place, because Mayor Daley- in all his glory- has put into place a law prohibiting law abiding citizens, like myself (mostly) from having hand guns. Usually I complain about that law- even though I doubt that if allowed I would actually own a handgun. I am complaining a lot now. I bet that NO ONE is going to break into that Wauconda home again. Hell, they may not have a break in in the neighborhood anytime soon. Why can't I have security like that in the city of Chicago?? Hmmm- I will figure out a way to make those punks pay (insert evil laugh here), and I will have to do it within the confines of Chicago law... is public flogging allowable? How about ripping toenails out one by one? This may take a while...

Illinois is Building Revenue! :)

This just in: some Gitmo detainees will be moving...to Illinois. There will be an announcement around 2 CST that the Thomson Correctional facility will be bought by the federal government. This prison will then become a federal facility, housing federal prisoners and up to 100 Gitmo detainees.

I, for one, am excited at the revenue that is headed to my state and the jobs that will be made once this plan is announced by the White House this afternoon. Thomson is located about 150 miles from Chicago, in an economically depressed, rural community. That part of Illinois needs jobs and CLEARLY the state needs the federal dollars. Maybe the state will be able to use these monies to begin to dig out of the economic hole our politicians have dug for us?

Critics have said that this is just asking for violence to come to Chicagoland. Um, isn't violence already in Chicagoland? Hasn't that been proven in this blog and a copy of a newspaper from any given day since the 80s? Does it make sense to turn down money- for a facility that hardly used? It was built as a maximum security prison and has been underutilized. The economic situation of the state is dire. We have other maximum security prisons in this state- are opponents as outraged about the locations of those prisons or the people contained therein? If President Obama is truly going to close Gitmo, why let that money go to another state?? Until Mark Kirk and other complainers can answer those questions, I am an excited voter. Welcome to the map, Thomson, Illinois. ;)

Will today be a day that lives in infamy?

Today, I think that I will be severely disappointed by our President. This evening, Barack is all set to tell the American public about our progress(?) in Iraq and Afghanistan, and how many more troops he will be responsible for sending to fight a war against unknown assailants. I am not a fan. I will not be a fan after a flashy speech.

Throughout my blog, it is evident that I am an Obama supporter. After this speech tonight, I have a feeling that, although I will still like him, I will not love him, if that makes sense. There are several reasons why. The first reason being: one of his campaign platforms was he was going to end the war. Now, I am not so naïve, I DO realize that people will say whatever they think the majority wants to hear BUT when lives are at stake...one would think that promises dealing with that might actually be followed through with. Lives ARE at stake, not just abroad, but stateside too.

True enough, I am not putting my life on the line as I lay here on my bed, typing out this blog entry, but the American way of life is at stake. The truth of the matter is: we simply can NOT afford to continue fighting a war. Our country is facing high deficits, high unemployment, high poverty, high foreclosure, etc. The citizens of this country cannot afford 20 billion dollars a month, for God knows how long, to fight a war for "democracy". Is that even what we are fighting for? How will we pay for this "democracy"? Why are we (the United states of America) responsible for everyone else??

I think that our government takes on that responsibilty. What Barack (and our elected officials) need to realize is the USA does not need to be the police superpower of the world. We don't have to rescue everyone- and everyone does not want our help. Here's a novel idea, let's not give it to them. Who is helping us in our time of need? We have historically bailed out other countries (like more than half of Europe after WWI and WWII) yet here we are stuggling, and no one comes to our aid except China. What will we do if that loan comes due? So, we are risking the lives of our young people, the financial stability of our country and the lifestyles of our grandchildren, for what? So we can say that we have "helped" another country? So we can spread our form of democracy? So we can create more enemies? By no means am I saying that we should be isolationists. In this world market atmosphere that would never work, but I do think that we can better prioritize what we spend our energies on. Seems to me that we should worry about Americans having jobs and being able to afford their homes, first and foremost. Just like most Americans are having to do, the government is going to have to decide what is more important.

So, Barack think about that before you sign the paperwork to ship off 30,000 more brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, cousins...friends. Think about all those people that elected you thinking that somehow, somewhere you would follow through and end the war for our troops. This may be the one time when a politician shouldn't be a liar...one time when a campaign promise should be upheld. If you never voted for the war while in the Senate, now is not the time to start...