Come In From the Cold- Marc Broussard

April 27... Come In From the Cold

Key Lyrics:

* "Tell me every fear that you keeps you from this love of mine. Leave it all behind, lay by my side, I'll shelter you."

* "I've been hurt, just like you. I know how hard it is to give your love away, but baby it's safe; I'm warm..."

* "Love's the only way to heal a heart that love has wronged."

Chicago Street Violence, the National Guard and Jody Weis

I am angry. Somehow no one is ever shocked when I say that. Sometimes I mislabel my disappointment as anger, but this time, really, I am angry. The reason is this: I live in the best city in the nation (save your breath, no one will convince me otherwise) and this beautiful city is going to the dogs (read: the dregs of society).

It is not even Memorial Day weekend; the weather has not even been consistently hot and already the number of shootings and fatalities is staggering. Staggering to me at least. Last week, a 20 month old baby girl was sitting in a car with her sisters and she was shot to death by a coward that supposedly had some beef with her father. Two weeks ago, a 14 year old was shot on his way to school- he will now be paralyzed for life. Three weeks ago almost 30 were shot in a 24 hour period, and 17 of those people lost their lives. If you watch the news, both morning AND evening, the first 15 minutes are filled with whole neighborhoods being stifled by the sounds of gunshots; the stench of death still heavy from the prior nights victims; family members screaming in the streets over the still warm bodies of their fallen loved ones. It is awful and I, for one, am sick of it.

The most upsetting part of this whole ridiculous cycle is: if anyone else is sick of it- I can't tell. Mayor Daley keeps defiantly standing by his ban on law abiding citizens owning handguns, all the while criminals have them, and quite obviously use them. That combined with what I saw on the news last night makes me think that those in charge are going to sit back and allow violence to engulf this fabulous city like the flames of the Great Fire.

If you have read any of my blog entries, you are aware that Chicago, in fact the whole state of Illinois, is damn near broke. Our financial legs have been shaky since I moved here 5 years ago and every year it gets worse. One way that the city is remedying this budget shortfall is to not hire anymore police officers (NOT smart). On top of that brilliant move- note the sarcasm- Chicago "top cop" who seems as bright as former President Bush, was on the news last night saying that he doesn't see bringing in the National Guard for more protection in the city of Chicago as a viable choice for us. Um, why not?

It can't be because he is doing such a bang up job (pun intended). It can't be because we don't need it- because surely the whole month of April has shown that we need more help in order to slow some of this violence. Could it be Weis does not want to bring in the National Guard because he doesn't want his job to be in jeopardy? He doesn't want to admit defeat? He doesn't care about the communities that are affected? I say yes on all accounts. If Weis has to utilize the National Guard to put the brakes on Chicago street violence then he has to look at the (non) job that he is doing and admit that he can't handle this city. If Weis lived in Englewood, Roseland, Rogers Park, Humboldt Park, Chatham or countless other neighborhoods where crime is high and violence is an every day occurrence would he be more likely to put the pedal to the metal on this National Guard initiative? I would venture to say yes. When you get to leave the ghetto and go back to a cushy neighborhood where your life, and the life of your children are not in danger, it really is easy to say we don't need the National Guards help.

Well, I live on the far south side of Chicago, close to some of the above named neighborhoods and guess what? The law abiding, unprotected citizens NEED help. We either need more good police (which isn't going to happen) or we need a presence that will win back our streets. With budget cut backs we are losing community resources and social programs. People are unemployed in record numbers (within the city of Chicago it is still above 11%) and with no education, that number might be high for a while. So no money, no job, nothing to do all day...what do we expect when thousands more people are on the street after school dismisses for the summer?? If there have been 113 murders since January 1, what will that number reflect by the middle of the summer? 113- and that is when most people are cooped up for the winter. See, the knowledge that violent crime goes up when it is warm, and the economy being what it is right now, and Jody being so set on not getting help, made me have a Kanye West moment last night, and I emphatically repeat my statement: "Jody Weis does not care about Black people, nor does he care about the city of Chicago." If he did, he would do all that he could to make sure that violent crime did not take over this fantastic city...even if that meant he had to call in the National Guard.

Big Ben Roethlisberger, Roger Goodell and the NFL Draft

**warning: much like all of my blog entries this one will be biased. You do not have to agree with what I say, especially re: Big Ben (and most of you won't)... But seeing that I am from Ohio and I graduated from Miami University, what did you expect? :)**

Yesterday, Roger Goodell, Commishioner of the NFL released his punishment for Big Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Essentially Big Ben will be suspended, without pay, for 6 games for conduct unbecoming a football player. Hmmmm. What exactly is conduct unbecoming a football player? What does the commish want to get out of this punishment?

I guess this is the point of the blog where I say that this punishment is completely ridiculous... Ok, I said it. Big Ben is guilty of being a dumb ass, but that should not mean that he has to lose $2.8 million dollars during the season, while sitting the bench. Rape is serious, please don't think that I am disputing that. IF Ben raped that girl, he would deserve SO much more than a 6 game suspension and if it were proven that he did rape her (or anyone else) I would be first in line volunteering to punch him in the balls. BUT... Charges will not be filed, in fact, the victim does not want to press charges. That seems suspect AND he loses pay for 6 games? I am concerned.

I read the statement that was released. I have issue with the fact that the same victim has pics from that night where she is standing next to Ben, smiling; that she was able to bar hop at all- she is 20 years old; more importantly... Her girlfriends stood by and watched her be led away in a crowded club to a back room?? WTF? Ok- we all have known people with fake ids (20 year old bar hopping), and we have all been friendly with some shady people (smiling pic), but letting your gf be led away to be mishandled? That is so not happening in my group of friends. My girls would rather cock block than to have something untoward happen to me or any other member of our group. Then after being traumatized, dropping the charges and failing to want to prosecute does not make me believe this chick. There is just something so shady about this situation... But even though there is shadiness, Big Ben (BB) still gets suspended? That leads me to my second question: what does Goodell think he is gonna get out of this punishment?

My conclusion? He is setting an example. In the 4 years since Goodell has taken office, he has suspended 6 or 7 guys and fined Bill Belicheck if I remember correctly. He has had a lot to deal with. Looking back at the NFL controversies that I remember, even before Goodell took office- Rae Carruth, Chris Henry (RIP), OJ, Donte Stallworth, Maurice Clarett (grrrr), Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson, Pacman Jones, Mike Doss and the creep- Michael Vick. Even super sexy Ray Lewis has been in trouble. I name them to make the point that Goodell indeed does have a hard job, keeping charge of little boys, with little minds and big bodies. But does that mean the he should choose BB to be his prime example? I don't think so, but he has. The creep (mv) lied directly to Goodell's sweet face, served time in jail and he still has a job. The NFL is still making money on the back of that man. BB is serving a sentence for a crime that has not been proven and will not be persued. That seems unfair...so does trading Santonio Holmes for a freaking 5th round draft pick. So, is Goodell trying to make the NFL a league of role models or is he trying to make sure the freshmen football players understand that they will be dealt with harshly? I think it is the latter and the Pittsburgh Steelers are unhappy victims.

Moral of the story:
* BB- stop thinking with that little head. Every chick is not worth it. Stop embarrassing the state of Ohio and the athletic department of Miami University. Essentially, stop being a schmuck.

** GA girl: stop bar hopping underage. If BB assaulted you, prosecute his sorry ass. If he did not assault you, shame on you.

** Goodell: relax a little bit. Punish those who deserve it, and take on the idea of our court system: innocent until proven guilty.

** Freshmen players: watch your back. Bad behavior will not be tolerated (not a bad thing) and the look of anything inappropriate will get you in trouble too... Walk that tightrope very carefully boys. :)

Miss Mox

Successful Black Women and Marriage. Is it possible?

I am 30-something. I am Black...and up until two years ago, I could have been considered slightly successful. :) Do those three things ensure that I will remain single? After watching this lovely Nightline special, it seems that the answer to that question is yes.

What is the reason that all these successful Black women will remain single in such high numbers (there is an estimate that says as many as 70% of educated Black women will remain unmarried)? I argue that there is more than one reason. Some classics that I have heard are: we are too argumentative, too proud, too picky, we don't know how to let men be men, we are non accepting and (my favorite) we are so unattractive that even our own Black men do not want us.

To all of the above excuses I say: are you f*cking kidding me?? Really? Here are my answers to the above. Argumentative, proud and picky: damn right I am! Absolutely. Let me say this- I did not put myself through college so I could put up w dating a man (of any color) who does not meet my standards. I am smart; my mate will be also. He will have a real job... He will (probably) be educated and we will have things in common. So? That is not a bad list. That list does not make me a bitch- that is me requesting a mirror image of myself. And guess what? I deserve that. I didn't work hard so that I can get married and lose half my shit to a deadbeat- no matter who it is. And don't worry yourself- I am an elitist with everyone- across the board- if you don't have what I want, I will not be interested long. Side note: if we've dated and it was less than a year- you did not posses what I wanted. Sad, but true!

Not letting men be men... As far as I can see, more men need lessons on being men, not just big boys. I have no problem being led- IF I have a good leader. I have no issue relinquishing control, if the person with the reins knows what he is doing. I just cannot find a man who knows what he is doing. Being a man does not mean you are able to produce children; it means that you are able to support them. Being a man does not mean that you are able to make money illegally; it means that you are able to make a legal living and use it to live within your means and take care of your family. Being a man does not mean that you 'bed' every woman who looks good to you or looks at you or feigns interest in you, it means that you actively look for A (as in one) woman that you could actually have something with and sleep with her (and only her). Lastly, being a man does not mean that you take all that unhappy baggage from your LAST relationship into your NEW relationship; it means that you learn from past mistakes and grow from them. There are many reasons why the men that I have dated are not exactly marriage material- and it isn't because I spend my time emasculating them. Maybe they had lacking examples of what a man should be and are therefore struggling with how to be a good man themselves.

Am I demanding? Damn right! I've earned the right to be. Does that mean that I am unbending? Absolutely not. Relationships are about give and take. I know that. I didn't make it 30-something years and not learn a few things. I love men. Manly men. Someone who completes the person I am- as corny as that sounds! Great personality and a good heart is what I am looking for. That and a great education... Like myself. I don't apologize for that, even if it means that I remain unmarried. I WILL NOT settle so that I can be married. Do I want to be married- absolutely. Am I willing to change what I am looking for? Nope. I can tweek my list but I ain't throwing it out the window completely!!

As far as the unattractive thing... Please, I'm HOT, so we all know that point is moot! ;)

What do you see as the outstanding reason why so many Black women are unmarried? Do you care? Comment or email- let me know! :)

Soulful Saturday #3

Today's list would not be complete without a Sade selection. When I was growing up, my parents (luckily) listened to great music. My sister and I were exceptionally blessed because we had parents who were young, hip but not trendy per se. They didn't listen to crap :) And now, I am following in their footsteps and listening to good music. We have actually seen Patti LaBelle in concert a couple of time- she puts on a sweet show!! I wish that we saw Sade- because she has sounded great for as long as I can remember... Soldier of Love is no exception. Sidenote: she has looked this phenomenal for as long as I remember also- gotta find out what that secret is!! :)

Key Lyrics:

* I've been torn up inside/ I've been left behind/ So I ride/ I have the will to survive

* I know that love will come/ Turn it all around/ I'm a soldier of love

Soulful Saturday, #2

Melissa Etheridge is awesome. Yep, I love her. Her voice is mesmerizing and can pick me from the lowest depths. Isn't that the purpose of music? I hope so!! Such passion, such...perfection- before and after her battle with cancer. A-MA-ZING.

Key Lyrics:

* I'm the only one who'd walk across the fire for you. And I'm the only one who'd drown in my desire for you. It's only fear that makes you run, the demons that you're hiding from. When all your promises are gone- I'm the only one.

* Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away. You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you down today.

Soulful Saturday

Raises to the CPS Brass? How is THAT possible?

I am a news whore. That should be of no surprise to anyone. I watch it all- Liberal, Conservative, Empathetic, Infuriating- whatever. I follow the news all day long. I am "that" friend that will know what has happened before anyone else. I pride myself on it. I LOVE it. If I am shocked by some news, I better had been in a coma because I am addicted to my Blackberry and news on the computer, which I sit in front of almost all day. So, when I read the following on my BlackBerry screen early this morning, I thought I was hallucinating. I turned on the local news and there it was again- no hallucinating on my part... cue the anger. Seriously, rage and it was way more than what I feel just because I haven't had my morning coffee. I.am.pissed.

What has me in a pissed off mood? If you ask the right person, he might say "everything" (lol) but the following had my face go to "the look" this morning: "Amid Cuts, CPS Brass to Get Raises." WTF???? I did some investigation (I am good for that) and here is what I found: The Director of Sports will get a $6K raise, the CPS spokesperson will get a 17% raise and the CEO will get a 13% raise. There are several reasons why I am pissed about this. In no particular order:

1. just over a month ago CPS CEO Ron Huberman said that Chicago Public Schools were facing a $1BILLION deficit. But he can get a raise? With this bump in salary, he will be getting paid $230K, to lead a broke school district? Damn, I need that job!

2. The Director of Sports is getting a raise?? Really? Because last month CPS removed all sophomore sports from schools. So, let me get this right: the number of sports available to students DEcreases and the guy in charge of sports for the school district gets an INcrease in salary. Wow.

3. I don't know what the spokesperson for the school district does. I mean, is it her job to deny all things that go on in schools and say "no comment" when people get hurt or there is a lawsuit? If so, again, I would love to have that job- for $130K. None of the 3 people getting a raise are in the classroom dealing with students all day; none of them look students in the face and tell them that their favorite teacher is being fired, or that they won't be able to participate in sports. Nope, the people getting the raises have the cushy jobs and hand down the hard verdicts.

4. I don't think that ANYONE in charge of CPS should get a raise until the graduation rates for CPS students increase. In 2006 only 52.2% of all students enrolled in CPS graduated. That is like an F-. That year CPS was the third largest school district in the country and had the best graduation rate out of the largest 5 school districts, but that is not saying much. (The 5 largest school districts are: NYC, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami-Dade County and Broward County.) So, for an F- the people in charge get paid more money??

5. Definitely not the least of the problems that CPS is dealing with: teachers are getting laid off. Are you kidding me? Who the hell thought that THIS was the proper time to hand out raises? Why doesn't Ron Huberman give his raise to save the salary of one teacher? OMG, all three of them could give their salary increases to save jobs. If every one of them is making more than 100K wouldn't it make sense to forego the raise for THIS year? Wouldn't that be the proper thing to do in a district where everyone is suffering? Nope- that would obviously be too much like right.

If I ever (mistakenly) have children :), they will never, ever go to a CPS school. I will take out a second mortgage on my house (in the hood- with the terrible neighbors) or sell it all together for a private school education. I don't have any children in CPS, and it sincerely burns me up to see my tax dollars being spent so irresponsibly- especially during an economic time when EVERYone should be concerned with efficient/productive use of funds. Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous? Can't be! Email me or comment and let me know your thoughts.

Miss Mox

Michelle Branch - "Goodbye To You" Live Acoustic

Remember this song?
It has made a reappearance in my playlist since a couple things have happened. Amazing song and it sounds even better in this rendition.

Key Lyrics:

"Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew. You're the one I loved- the one thing that I tried to hold onto."

"And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you, but I'm not giving in this time."

"You're my shooting star."

Miss Mox

Marvin Gaye - Inner City Blues (Hughes Brothers Video)

I have been thinking about the state of the United States a lot lately and I heard the Marc Broussard remake of this Marvin Gaye song and everything was understood to a different degree. Amazing that this song was released in 1971 and now in 2010 it is still very relevant. All lyrics are below... see if you see a connection with life today.

Dah, dah, dah, dah
dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Rockets, moon shots
Spend it on the have nots
Money, we make it
Fore we see it you take it
Oh, make you wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
This ain't livin', This ain't livin'
No, no baby, this ain't livin'
No, no, no
Inflation no chance
To increase finance
Bills pile up sky high
Send that boy off to die
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Make me wanna holler
The way they do my life
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Hang ups, let downs
Bad breaks, set backs
Natural fact is
I can't pay my taxes
Oh, make me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Yea, it makes me wanna holler
And throw up both my hands
Crime is increasing
Trigger happy policing
Panic is spreading
God know where we're heading
Oh, make me wanna holler
They don't understand
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Dah, dah, dah
Mother, mother
Everybody thinks we're wrong
Who are they to judge us
Simply cause we wear our hair long

St. Patrick's Day Discrimination

Relax… the title is only half deceiving! I am not going to write about the type of discrimination that you are thinking of- not in this post. Now that that is out of the way, I do have to preface this piece with a couple of very important statements: 1. I LOVE, love, love St. Patrick’s Day. I love the sense of community at the events; love learning new things and as many of my friends can attest, I happen to really love Irish men! 2. I love the city that I live in. Chicago is a wonderful, beautiful city and although I complain about the politics and my neighbors (because they are garbage can stealing douche bags- I digress), I wouldn’t trade Chicago for anything right now. I bought a house here, my (limited) social life is here and there is always something to do, see, or complain about! Seriously, I love this city. I could have chosen to live anywhere… With that said: How pissed am I (and a few thousand others) that the South Side of Chicago no longer has a St. Patty’s Day Parade?? In a word: VERY.

Here is the deal with the south side: we get treated like the red headed step child (all apologies to red headed step children reading this). We don’t get grocery stores like the north side, we don’t have baseball groupies like the north side (that is actually a good thing) and we don’t get the amenities of the north side- the el stops at 95th street, but the city extends to 132nd Street, our bus routes are the first to get cut, and out Metra stations need some serious refurbishment. Add to that scenario, the organizers of the parade, who were backed by the city, decided that there would be no south side parade because of excessive public drunkenness and lewd behavior. Hmmmmmm…W.T.F????? What exactly happens at ALL St. Patrick Day Parades? Including the one downtown? Ah yes, I believe there is a pub crawl or two. I believe that there are always a few lost, drunk souls. I believe that as long as there are people who will gather outside in sub 40 degree weather, dressed in green concoctions, shaking shamrocks in your face and drinking green beer at obscenely early hours, someone is going to be drunk. SO.WHAT???? I will throw in the following sentence because I am not (repeat NOT) a fan of the northside baseball team- Wrigley is a walking talking pub crawl- every home game- always. And you know what doesn’t happen? They don’t cancel home games. Hell, those raunchy fans are hardly reigned in. Yet, one day a year the south side cannot have a parade????

I am miffed, discouraged, and all around disgruntled. When will we get some equality on the South Side??? Now I will sound like a cubs fan… Maybe next year.

Miss Mox

Loyalty to your company??

I just read this story, and I am seriously questioning the logic of this blurb. While I do believe that loyalty to the company that you work for is up, I think that it is out of necessity. I, like most people I know, are so excited to have a job- any job- that loyalty to the company we work for is a no brainer. We aren’t going to bite the hand that feeds us. I won’t, and I have been known to be a biter (ok, I was 2 and I am sure I was defending myself!)
As a temporary employee, I can say that I am excited about having a job in this market; the ability to pay bills makes me happy, and I want to do a good job, so that I will be invited back as much as possible. Does that make me loyal to this company, or loyal to my responsibilities? That remains to be seen.

Orianthi - According To You

So- the lesson of the day... What you hate, the next man will love. Appreciate the person that loves you because when she leaves the hole left behind will be shockingly disturbing to your life. You will never know exactly how much you cared, until she is gone.for good. Watch what you say and do- karma is always right.around.the.corner...

Key Lyrics:

"According to him, I'm beautiful, incredible. He can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible. Everything he ever wanted...
"Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it. So baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not- according to you..."

Chicago: Good News, Bad News

Hello, City of Chicago! :) Forbes magazine and I have good news and bad news...

GOOD news: the city that we all know and most of us love have moved down on the 'most miserable' city list. In 2008, Chicago was ranked #3 in the nation... Hmmm, the third most miserable city in the whole nation. Not sure how much I actually believe that. Rankings were based on weather (now I see!), violent crime, job availability, etc.
So, the amazingly good news is- we aren't #3 anymore.

Bad news? Yeah... Chicago is still on the list! (Boooo). In 2009, Chicago was ranked #10 (hey, it's an improvement!) on the most miserable cities. Same criteria, just 7 spots down the list. And the #1 most miserable city? The midwest seems to reign supreme on this list because the #1 city is Cleveland, Ohio. For all my Ohio readers from central Ohio, just repeat after me: it.is.not.Columbus! :)

The Chicago Strong Arm

Last Tuesday was a primary voting day here in Illinois. I still get fired up (of course) but primaries notoriously have very low voter turn out. Last Tuesday was no exception, but some people did come out and vote. Thankfully, Todd the Troll Stroger was voted out of office and some new blood entered the political realm, or so we all thought.

Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen was slated to be on the November ballot as the Democratic choice for Lt. Governor, but I just read on Chicago Tribune mobile edition, that he has done what was asked of him and dropped out of the race. Do I have a problem with that? Uh, hell yeah.

1. The people who did vote last Tuesday, voted for Scott Lee Cohen. How dare the Democratic party assume that the people of Chicago needed help with their choice?

2. The Dems had PLENTY of time to vet all of the candidates. Why is everyone acting like a) they don't have a past and b) this is the first they have heard about Cohen's past? In every article I have read, it has been stated that Cohen was very upfront about his past, so I am confused as to how it was ok when he was spending money and no one thought he would win, and is magically NOT okay now that he has won...

3. Somehow I know that the people who are asking for Cohen's resignation are not innocent politicians who just want him to drop out for the betterment of Illinois. Whenever you point to someone and claim that they are too corrupt, generally you have some 'corrupt' skeletons in your closet. Somehow Pat Quinn who was Lt. Governor under Blago doesn't strike me as someone who can now be holier than thou.

4. His prostitute ex-girlfriend is saying that he should drop out of the race. Really? Are we all taking advice from convicted prostitutes now? Seriously?


I still take a lot of grief about boycotting Michael Vick. We all know I am an animal lover, but mostly I am pissed because he is a liar. He did unspeakable acts and lied about it. Scott Lee Cohen was truthful about his past, yet one has a job and the other does not...on the word of politicians and an ex prostitute, Cohen has lost the job that the people of Illinois felt he should have...wow.

Did Cohen just become the latest victim of a political strong arm tactic? Yes, I believe he did. Should he have dropped out of the race? Nope, I don't think so. Will be interesting to see how this plays out.

Help/Aid to Haiti- Suggestions and Pitfalls

So- I totally have NOT been keeping up my New Years Resolution of blogging on a consistent basis... but I am working on it, I promise!! I have, however, been keeping up with the news. When you fancy yourself a "blogger" news becomes like second nature. It really is almost like having your morning coffee- which, if you know me, you know I cannot do without. I watch the news in the morning; I read the news online throughout the day; I watch the news at night... maybe I am in overload, but I like it!



My news overload has gone into overdrive lately. Every channel I watch has an opening story of the devastation that has taken over Haiti after the earthquake that killed hundreds of thousands of people. It is mesmerizing and it makes me sad. To see all the faces full of anguish and uncertainty. To hear of all the families that have lost husbands, wives, children. To see the huge outpouring of emotion and money from all over the world... nothing less than amazing. I will venture out and say that the world response has given me a new respect for humankind. It is nice to see that neighboring countries care. It is nice to think that we may all be a part of a world... not just our own little worlds (I never really leave my pretend world where everything is about me- and I invite all of you to enter the world where it is all about me...through this blog), but something giant and slightly all encompassing. Sometimes it is just nice to be able to put your own "problems" in perspective.



There has been a lot written about the pitfalls of American aid specifically, in the wake of this natural disaster. When you do something, people always want you to do more (or less), and no matter what there are always opinions about what you should be doing, why you are helping, what you did, how horrible you are, etc. One article in particular was written by Bill Quigley and posted on Democracy Now! His article is entitled "Ten Things the U.S. Can and Should Do For Haiti" and of course I take issue with a few of his points.... would it be any fun if I just agreed? :)

Most of his ten points make sense to me- treating people humanely and asking to be in the loop as to how much money is raised, where that money goes and the percentage that is actually going towards the cause... that makes sense. Below are the points that I will argue with (surprised? nah- didn't think so!)

** "One. Allow all Haitians in the US to work. The number one source of money for poor people in Haiti is the money sent from family and workers in the US back home. Haitians will continue to help themselves if given a chance. Haitians in the US will continue to help when the world community moves on to other problems." Um, no. Sorry Mr. Quigley. As an underemployed college graduate, I HAVE to disagree with you. Unemployment has skyrocketed in America over the last two and a half years. I have ex-classmates who are losing their homes, or moving in with their parents so they can make ends meet. I have been told (several times) that I am overqualified for jobs. States (including the one I live in) are on the brink of bankruptcy and having to come up with funds for thousands of newly unemployed workers. We, as a country, are not on track and one reason for that is we give jobs away. We routinely look the other way as jobs are outsourced and exported and I am not willing to advocate for thousands of non US citizens taking jobs off the market, when tons of tax payers are not getting a regular paycheck. So we will put this in the disagree pile.

**"Three. Give Haiti grants as help, not loans. Haiti does not need any more debt. Make sure that the relief given helps Haiti rebuild its public sector so the country can provide its own citizens with basic public services." Um, again... no. Guess who else does not need anymore debt? Ding, ding, ding- you are correct if you said the United States of America!!

**"Five. President Obama can enact Temporary Protected Status for Haitians with the stroke of a pen. Do it. The US has already done it for El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Sudan and Somalia." And he has done it in this case also. According to The Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Naplitano, 'Any Haitian in the US prior to the earthquake will be allowed to stay for 18 months to work. Any Haitians attempting travel to the US will be sent back to Haiti.'

**"Six. Respect Human Rights from Day One. The UN has enacted Guiding Principles for Internally Displaced People. Make them required reading for every official and non-governmental person and organization. Non governmental organizations like charities and international aid groups are extremely powerful in Haiti – they too must respect the human dignity and human rights of all people." Agree- but realize that the United States is not the only country that is helping out. This needs to be followed by everyone... even Haitians- specifically those in control.

**"Seven. Apologize to the Haitian people everywhere for Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh." I laughed when I read this. Out.Loud. If you regularly read this blog, you KNOW that I am not a fan of extremists- unless they are extreme fans of mine- and I do think the two men mentioned are ignorant morons, BUT here in the United States of America we have a lovely thing called Freedom of Speech. Even though I would like to choke Rush and Pat, they have a fan base and they have the right to say whatever they want- within the confines of the law. I am just hoping that the stupidity that came out of their mouths will let their "fans" see who they really are. But it may not be wise to attack very established American rights while American citizens are emptying their pockets to give money to Haiti. Plus, America as a whole should not apologize for Rush and Pat.... they should show some human emotions and do it themselves, prime time, Fox News, to be replayed over and over and over and over again...

You can check out the whole article here. Please do not read anything into this entry. I believe that we all should help Haiti- so don't start emailing me telling me I am a heartless bitch. I just think that the US cannot be the only country making sacrifices, especially since we are struggling. My thoughts and prayers go out to Haiti. I hope that recovery is swift, memories of this horrible time are short and their pride in Haiti is forever. God bless the Haitians, the relief workers, those sending financial help... and God Bless the United States of America. (See, I am sounding Presidential ALREADY- watch out world!) :)

"Maybe I can convince time to slow up..."

I have been listening to a lot of music lately- and it has been reflected in my blog. Music has a special quality- it can reverse the bad day vibes. Bad day vibes were so overabundant today. Tomorrow, January 6, will be the seven month anniversary of the death of a friend, a brother of mine. Yesterday, January 4th would have been his 40th birthday. I attempted several times to post this blog on his actual birthday, but it was too emotional for this self proclaimed 'non emotional' person. I couldn't do it. Honestly, I am a little weepy while typing this. Sometimes it is actually harder to be that friend that everyone leans on. That means that you can't mourn the same as everyone else... things can't hit you the same. That is how feel about the death of my friend. While I was busy being strong for everyone else, I never really got to mourn a great guy who left way too soon.

It is funny, because I was not around him much, because I live in Chicago and he (and my bestie) lived in Columbus. But whenever we got together, it was like I lived there- like we had just seen each other the day before. It takes a special person to be in a relationship with a woman who has a friend like me. I can be mean...no really, I can be, have been and will continue to be to those who deserve it. Ask any of my close girlfriends, I am sure they have horror stories of me meeting their significant others. What can I say? Some people just don't make the cut, and those who didn't knew RIGHT away. I have been told that I have a very expressive face- like your date says something really dumb in front of me and I am UNABLE to not have my disappointment in his ridiculous stupidity show on my face. Yep, I am totally that friend. Sincerely, my girlfriends are my pride and joy; they are my sisters. I have very few and I am very protective, so their dates have to be the cream of the crop... same for me. My girlfriends tell me when my dates fall short. Depending on who I ask, the critique ranges from simply, "I just don't think he is the one for you" to some comments that my mother should not read on my blog! We are like that- we have no secrets- and we know each other better than our respective significant others ever could. That is the way it is supposed to be! :)

So, when Racy introduced me to Daryl when they started dating, I immediately attempted to figure out what was wrong with him. I looked for a long time and came up with nothing- very weird! I have to admit, I look after Racy a little more than the other girls. She is just so sweet; the kind of person that would give you the shirt off her back. I mean, I know that people say that about their friends all the time, but seriously, Racy would. I really think that God brought her to me to be the calming force in my (slightly) self centered world. She, unlike anyone besides my mother, can get me to understand that sometimes (SOMETIMES) it is not all about me. Not a lesson you want to hear from everyone!! But she says it as nice as possible. She has had her feelings hurt, by me, more times than both of us will admit. She has cried and probably wondered why she is friends with my evil ass, but I would go to the end of the Earth for that chick and I know she would do the same for me. After the train wreck that was her first marriage (still don't really talk to that one.... I think he may have nightmares about me [evil laugh]) I was NOT looking forward to letting anyone in our family circle for a while. But then I met Daryl and I knew that my friend would be ok. I think I loved him from the start. There was never any awkwardness; there was never those stupid 'pregnant pauses' where everyone in the room feels weird. He just had a way to make me feel like he had been around us forever. He broke the ice... by making fun of me. :) Not a course of action for just anyone, because I am hardly the one that take kindly to jokes about myself...

There was just an ease about him that was unexplainable. He knew exactly what to say in order to make everyone in the room feel comfortable. And you could tell because at his funeral, all different kinds of people were there to celebrate this life, this force field, this man that touched people with an ease that skilled politicians don't have. In one fell swoop, I knew that my friend would be ok because her knight in shining armor was... just like me! A little rough around the edges, but deep down, he was golden! And he did take care of my friend. I think he was put on this Earth for her. They did everything together and made love and family look easy. They made it look easy.

It is hard to be sad because Racy and Daryl were blessed with so much. Each other, a home, and three great kids. Although I didn't see him much, there has not been a day in the past seven months when I didn't think of Daryl. I wonder how my friend is going too make it without her other half; wonder how my god-kids will turn out without their daddy; wonder who is going to give my future husband (whoever he is) the "speech" about treating me like a Queen [ok, my dad is going to give it, OF COURSE, but generally there is a peer that gives it too, so that the husband knows he would be seriously hurt]. I wonder how I am going to make it without my brother. I don't even think that Racy knows how much I miss her husband; how much faith he gave me in my search for my other half; how much joy I derived from seeing them together and happy. Amidst all the marital turmoil that I see everyday, it was amazing to see a young couple that was making it together. He gave my sister security and for that I will always be grateful to him. I miss you Daryl, every day. Please continue to look after my friend and the kiddies... and if you have time, look after my nutty ass. Thank you for being a shining example of what a man SHOULD be. Thank you for making my sister happy. Love you, Big Bro... RIP Big D

"Time, be my friend... and let me start again" Stephanie Mills- Home

Nina Simone- Feeling Good

And oh what an anthem for the new year... Feeling Good by Nina Simone.

Key Lyrics:
Freedom is mine/ And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For Me
And I'm feeling good

Am I Blue? Billie Holiday

I have heard several versions of this song, and I favor Ms. Holiday's by far. Simply amazing.

Vivian Green - Emotional Rollercoaster

Can't remember if I have ever posted this video... if not, I have been special because I rock out to this all the time. I have both albums and am waiting for her to go on tour... in fact, I will check now to see when she is headed to Chicago. Vivian has a great voice... and Love Story is an album that everyone can relate to.

Marc Broussard - Let Me Leave

AMAZING... this year's lesson in a song. Here's to no more time wasted on unrequited love. Sing it Marc!! :)

Let me be who I am; Let me leave while I can; you know LOVE DONT FIND THIS SORT OF MAN... so, ladies- let him leave while he can.

Taking the law into your own hands

On Saturday the Chicago Tribune ran a story about a Wauconda (far northern suburbs of Chicago) couple who shot and wounded two masked men that pushed their way into their suburban home. As I laid in bed, reading the story on my BlackBerry, I secretly cheered for the couple that stood up for their rights as homeowners. You see, on Wednesday, December 23, while I was at work, some scumbag broke into my house. When I returned home, my back window was broken, the back door was open and my house had been ransacked. Among my missing items were two of my dogs (which, if you know me, you know those were the FIRST possessions I had to get back), two kennels, the dog food, cell phones- one activated, one not, orange juice from the fridge (rude!!!), groceries (SUPER rude!!), a laundry basket (I am assuming this was taken to assist with lugging all my crap outside) and my peace of mind. They threw clothes around, paper all over the floor, let the remaining dogs roam the house- which was the beginning of an all too different kind of mess for me to clean up. I was...devestated.

Let's stop for a minute and disregard the fact that someone ruined my holiday season- I did not go to see my family and did not celebrate Christmas this year because I was afraid that I would be burglarized again. Let's disregard the fact that only the lowest of the low actually STEAL from others... how low are you that you would steal someone's DOGS???? I mean really. Wow.

Here is the other part of this unbelievable tale- somehow some "good samaritans" found my dogs. The quotes are there because I am not sure if they are actually good or perpetrators of the crime. They "found" my computer too. Actually, they supposedly paid $300 for my computer and now want a reimbursement- which is not going to happen. I can't shoot the jerks that broke into my place, because Mayor Daley- in all his glory- has put into place a law prohibiting law abiding citizens, like myself (mostly) from having hand guns. Usually I complain about that law- even though I doubt that if allowed I would actually own a handgun. I am complaining a lot now. I bet that NO ONE is going to break into that Wauconda home again. Hell, they may not have a break in in the neighborhood anytime soon. Why can't I have security like that in the city of Chicago?? Hmmm- I will figure out a way to make those punks pay (insert evil laugh here), and I will have to do it within the confines of Chicago law... is public flogging allowable? How about ripping toenails out one by one? This may take a while...

Illinois is Building Revenue! :)

This just in: some Gitmo detainees will be moving...to Illinois. There will be an announcement around 2 CST that the Thomson Correctional facility will be bought by the federal government. This prison will then become a federal facility, housing federal prisoners and up to 100 Gitmo detainees.

I, for one, am excited at the revenue that is headed to my state and the jobs that will be made once this plan is announced by the White House this afternoon. Thomson is located about 150 miles from Chicago, in an economically depressed, rural community. That part of Illinois needs jobs and CLEARLY the state needs the federal dollars. Maybe the state will be able to use these monies to begin to dig out of the economic hole our politicians have dug for us?

Critics have said that this is just asking for violence to come to Chicagoland. Um, isn't violence already in Chicagoland? Hasn't that been proven in this blog and a copy of a newspaper from any given day since the 80s? Does it make sense to turn down money- for a facility that hardly used? It was built as a maximum security prison and has been underutilized. The economic situation of the state is dire. We have other maximum security prisons in this state- are opponents as outraged about the locations of those prisons or the people contained therein? If President Obama is truly going to close Gitmo, why let that money go to another state?? Until Mark Kirk and other complainers can answer those questions, I am an excited voter. Welcome to the map, Thomson, Illinois. ;)

Will today be a day that lives in infamy?

Today, I think that I will be severely disappointed by our President. This evening, Barack is all set to tell the American public about our progress(?) in Iraq and Afghanistan, and how many more troops he will be responsible for sending to fight a war against unknown assailants. I am not a fan. I will not be a fan after a flashy speech.

Throughout my blog, it is evident that I am an Obama supporter. After this speech tonight, I have a feeling that, although I will still like him, I will not love him, if that makes sense. There are several reasons why. The first reason being: one of his campaign platforms was he was going to end the war. Now, I am not so naïve, I DO realize that people will say whatever they think the majority wants to hear BUT when lives are at stake...one would think that promises dealing with that might actually be followed through with. Lives ARE at stake, not just abroad, but stateside too.

True enough, I am not putting my life on the line as I lay here on my bed, typing out this blog entry, but the American way of life is at stake. The truth of the matter is: we simply can NOT afford to continue fighting a war. Our country is facing high deficits, high unemployment, high poverty, high foreclosure, etc. The citizens of this country cannot afford 20 billion dollars a month, for God knows how long, to fight a war for "democracy". Is that even what we are fighting for? How will we pay for this "democracy"? Why are we (the United states of America) responsible for everyone else??

I think that our government takes on that responsibilty. What Barack (and our elected officials) need to realize is the USA does not need to be the police superpower of the world. We don't have to rescue everyone- and everyone does not want our help. Here's a novel idea, let's not give it to them. Who is helping us in our time of need? We have historically bailed out other countries (like more than half of Europe after WWI and WWII) yet here we are stuggling, and no one comes to our aid except China. What will we do if that loan comes due? So, we are risking the lives of our young people, the financial stability of our country and the lifestyles of our grandchildren, for what? So we can say that we have "helped" another country? So we can spread our form of democracy? So we can create more enemies? By no means am I saying that we should be isolationists. In this world market atmosphere that would never work, but I do think that we can better prioritize what we spend our energies on. Seems to me that we should worry about Americans having jobs and being able to afford their homes, first and foremost. Just like most Americans are having to do, the government is going to have to decide what is more important.

So, Barack think about that before you sign the paperwork to ship off 30,000 more brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, cousins...friends. Think about all those people that elected you thinking that somehow, somewhere you would follow through and end the war for our troops. This may be the one time when a politician shouldn't be a liar...one time when a campaign promise should be upheld. If you never voted for the war while in the Senate, now is not the time to start...

College Football and Hurt Feelings

So- as I watched my Ohio State Buckeyes beat michigan (again)this past weekend, I watched my husband (Jim Tressel) as he paced the sideline, calling plays and encouraging the guys. I guess I should be clear, Jim Tressel and I are only married in my dreams, and he is one of many husbands. The hubbies span different industries, age ranges and levels of attractiveness. Once a hubby is added to the list, they aren't taken off...and the list is full of people who probably should not be grouped together. For example, four men on my hubby list: Eddie Vedder (of course), Sean Penn (think Mystic River), Brady Quinn (hot Columbus boy) and Sean Connery. Now really, do those 4 names even go together... Ah, but I digress.

As I am watching Jimmy T (see, I have even given them cool nicknames) encouraging the best college football team in America (!) I also start reading a digital article about the Kansas head football coach, Mark Mangino. Mr. (using that term loosely) Mangino is accused of being extremely rude to the young men that play for him. And not rude, like cussing at them, or calling them douchebags. We are talking rude like, "if you don't do what I say, I will send your ass back to the ghetto." He is actually quoted as saying that if a player did not do what he said he would "send him back to his hood to get shot like his homies." WHAT???

Ok- I want to say that Mangino is upset with the world because he is fat and unattractive. But I don't think that is it, at least not all of it. I mean, you have to be a real asshole to say crap like that. I just think he needs to be fired- immediately. I am not even going to say that he is racist. Even if that is the case, which I am sure it is, it takes a backseat to the fact that at least 60 pairs of parents send their young men to be further molded by a fat douchebag who claims that he has the power to send these boys back to the ghetto to be shot like their homies. Awful.
There is a difference between tough love and just being a dick. It is obvious that Mangino is not familiar with that line. I, like most people, struggle with that myself sometimes. I yell at the neighborhood kids, but I never call them hoodrats or tell them they will get shot like their homies. That is more of a reality here than in Kansas, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

If my son was away from home for the first time and he called me with stories like what is being reported about Mangino, I think it would be safe to say...hell hath no fury. Alumni should be up in arms, parents should be inconsolable AND threatening to remove their kids from the University. Maybe if they threatened the pocketbook of the university, something would be done. Maybe the AD wouldn't drag his feet if that was his son being verbally abused? Maybe, just maybe those football players will jump Mangino's big ass in the locker room after the final game of the season- a little payback? Maybe someone should threaten to starve Mangino for a couple meals?? Just another reminder to build up the youth of American with discipline...not rude, insulting behavior. I mean, I know that everyone can't be as outstanding as my hubby Jimmy T... But they could at least try- right? ;)

Miss Mox

The Day that the Buckeye Nation Cried

Today is a horribly sad day for the Buckeye Nation. Today, Stefanie Spielman lost her long, hard fought battle with breast cancer. A consummate optimist, she took the diagnosis (at the age of 30) with amazing grace. I remember when the Columbus news stations started covering her diagnosis- my sophomore year of college. I watched a young woman who married her college sweetheart take the breast cancer challenge and win (remission) four times. She was a mainstay in Columbus, always on the sideline watching and cheering for the amazing Buckeye team- years after her husband Chris graduated and went to the NFL. She has also been, at least for me, the face of the James Cancer Hospital at OSU.

An inspiration would be an understatement. I never saw her cry. I never saw her feel bad about her situation. She just got after it. Stefanie and Chris were heads of fundraising for cancer research in central Ohio. I don't even live there anymore, and I still know that where ever they were needed to get people to donate, they were there. I clearly remember seeing Stefanie, Chris and their (4) children on a commercial about cancer education and fundraising.

Forty-two is too young for her to be gone. She won't see her children become adults. She won't see her grandchildren. She will miss college graduations and weddings. Forty-two is too young...

While we mourn the loss of an amazingly spirited woman, we need to take some action Buckeye nation. I used to work for an organization that researches and fights cancer through many avenues. From working there I can tell you that during our lifetime, 1 in 3 of us will be diagnosed with some sort of cancer. Because of their funding and research, more of us will be successfully treated, but I am longing for a time when cancer-as it is today- does not exist. What can you do? There are plenty of ways that you can raise cancer awareness in central Ohio. Donate to the James (http://www.jamesline.com; click on the ways to give tab) or call the central Ohio office of the American Cancer Society (888.227.6446) and pledge a donation. For those of you in the Buckeye Nation in the Chicagoland area, there are plenty of ways for you to give also. There is an amazing place called the Wellness Place (http://www.wellnessplace.org) that raises money for cancer education, care and help for those in the midst of their battle. You can make a donation- or you can shop (!) and they will get a donation from the money that you spend (http://www.shopbelongings.com). Also, the suburban offices of the American Cancer Society are also available to take donations. Whatever you decide to do- TAKE ACTION. Make sure that there are fewer 42 year old moms losing their battle to the ugly disease called cancer.

My prayers go out to the Spielman family. I hope and wish the best for you through this rough times.

Miss Mox

Chicago Cop... not yet fired? Public confusion abounds...

Ok, so not public confusion... Moximillion confusion. I am watching the news right now and something just BLEW MY MIND. Anthony Abate (also known as the douchebag cop who was videotaped beating a very petite bartender after she refused to continue to serve his drunk ass) is back in the news. Nope, he has not been arrested again-yet. But, apparently, there is some question about whether or not he should be fired. WTH?? Insert my confusion. Why the hell does that jerk still HAVE a job???
Ok, let me see if I have this right. Unemployment in the city of Chicago is somewhere close to 11% depending on who you ask. Illinois has been declared to have one of the worst budgets in the nation. Taxation in Cook County is 10.25%. County workers (police included) are now REQUIRED to take unpaid days off so that our county won't go bankrupt...yet, beat-her-down douchebag has a job? Maybe I'm slow. But doesn't it seem like that is one less salary we should be paying?
I won't even discuss (at long length) the fact that he only got probation and anger management for those punches heard around the world. (Wow, really?) I won't even point out that because of his behavior, the whole city has an even more horrible reputation. And I certainly won't point out that while I trust MOST Chicago cops, being a petite lady myself, I have absolutely no inclination to serve them- even in my current state of unemployment- for fear that the next video (and more than likely there WILL be another video) will have my face on it.
When will doing the right thing just be ok? I don't care WHAT reason someone has concocted to let that jerk keep his shield, but he should be fired. He should have BEEN fired- if for no other reason because he tainted the reputation of the good cops in the city... And made Chicago look like the wild west during the gold rush...or a Friday night fight at the trailer park. Either way, he should no longer be able to "protect and serve." But maybe I am way off base.... Nah, I don't think so.

Moximillion

Chrisette Michele - Love Is You (Unplugged)

Ok- Chrisette Michele is AMAZING. If you have not listened to her before, I hope this is you introduction to the beauty and magic that her voice brings. Fantastically DIFFERENT... wow. Other favorites by her: Blame it on me, Epiphany, Best of me, and If I have my way. Let me know who you think she is comparable to... :)

Key Lyrics:
'cause love is my permission to be who I am,
No inhibitions because you understand;
Freedom to breathe, oh baby, love is you.

Much as I've tried to clarify
Love's quite simple, He is just my guy;
A perfect definition- LOVE IS YOU.

Illinois and the Big, Bad Budget Crisis

The Pew Center has declared that the state of Illinois is spiraling out of control with its spending and is headed down the same road as California. Illinois, along with nine other states (Arizona, Michigan, California, Nevada, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Oregon, New Jersey and Florida) are facing horrible budget crises and have been declared to be in "fiscal peril". I don't doubt the findings. The state of Wisconsin are disputing the findings, but as far s Illinois goes, I can see how we fall short every year. My only question is: HOW???? How can a state like Illinois, or better yet California or Florida, be facing billion and billions of dollars in the deficit column? The deficits cannot be blamed on a certain party per se, lawmakers are members of both major parties. The states rely on very different products for income, so what is the deal?? How do you have a tourist attraction, like both Disney states (CA and FL), that is not making money? I am so confused.

I guess that I can see that Michigan would be having some financial issues. I used to live there, the fiscal problems are not new. Now the biggest employers are having their own fiscal problems, so of course the people of the state are being affected. But the dairy state? Really? Jersey? Don't they have Atlantic City? And then there is Illinois. Ok, I already know why Chicago is having fiscal problems. There is SO much waste. People not working and getting paid a ton of money to do nothing- examples are people that I have already talked about. As a tax payer, I really want to know how it is possible that I pay MORE taxes in Cook County than residents that live in NY and CA?? And we still have a budget deficit? Seriously- wrap your head around this... in Cook County, Todd the troll has made it so we pay a whopping 10.25% in taxes, yet we can't go a year without asking for state assistance for the CTA (that is the el train for all those who don't live in Chicago). And you know what all this excessive taxing is going to get? An empty city. Chicago could turn into Detroit. No one will be able to afford living in Chicago. All because some of the people in charge take advantage of their position. Would it ever be possible that the Cook County Board, Aldermen or (gasp) the Mayor would take a pay cut so that police can continue to patrol the streets, garbage men can keep on collecting, people in the city can actually get all the amenities OF the city? I mean we ARE paying for it, right?

Leona Lewis - Happy

Key Lyrics:

I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be...

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound...
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be... happy.

Enjoy your weekend~ Miss Mox

This short thing we call life

The secondary title of this blog is a quote from the Roman poet Horace. I don't think that people actually notice it that often. This is my blog and I hardly read it when I am posting things... or looking at my blog from someone else's computer. He is said to have coined the phrase "Nunc est bibendum" (Now we must drink)... and at this point in this blog entry, I should come clean and say that tonight, I have taken that phrase to heart! There has been some drinking, ok more than just SOME, on my part, so this entry may be a tad sappier than the reading audience is used to. You have been warned! :)

Horace, it seems, was a very insightful man. The quote "A word once uttered can never be recalled" is also attributed to him. I think that is very true, so this entry, while truthful and revealing, will be as tempered as a drunken blog can be. With that said- here we go!

I think that people can tell from the musical selections that I have posted lately (especially the Heather Headley song) that I have recently gone through some heartache. Heartbreak is never cool but it is especially hurtful if it is handled badly. While engaged in a recent discussion, I said, by the age of 30 everyone has a love sob story. We have all been hurt. If the relationship ended up the way we wanted we would all be married and tripping the life fantastic, right? I firmly believe that life is not about the situations that are handed to us, rather how we handle them; what you learn from them. I just got my heart broken- I am talking million pieces broken. Spent a couple days in bed, crying, listening to super slow jams (think Toni Braxton, Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross), watching chick flicks and probably consuming too many calories, cursing him and wondering why things had to end the way the way they did. How could he blame me for hurt suffered in the past? Why couldn't he see that I was different? How the hell could he be so rude to me? It goes on and on... Finally, I had to snap out of that, so I had a couple drinks and here I am! :) I am still sad... listening to my own slow jams mix on ITunes, drinking beer and giving myself a pep talk. But you know what? Even after all of that, I would lay my heart on the line again and THAT is what separates me and him. He looks back and sees all the pain that he has had to go through in life and love and wants to avoid it at all costs; I look back and know that sometimes love sucks the blood from your body, there are times when your heart hurts so much that you think it will stop beating, that you will never be able to go through this crazy thing called love again or like you could stay in bed for the rest of your life.... eating raisinettes and drinking soda wearing some flannel pjs (oh wait, that was me!)

Love IS like that. It can be rough... and God knows, we have all been there. Like Lemon said in "Love Poem" (see September 2 entry) "I'd rather catch an ass whooping, then get my heart broken." I would venture to say that everyone over the age of 21 has experienced something that looked like what I just went through. BUT love can be so rewarding. It has the ability to make you smile when nothing else is going right. That person can walk into the room and you are left ~breathless~. Love can make you think you are living your own version of The Notebook. It can make you reconsider your living situation, having children, or any other life plans. It can make you hum Luther Vandross lyrics in the elevator ride up to the office. When you are in love, life (and everything that comes with it) can be bearable... See there is that sappy stuff! :)

So, if love can be all those terrible things, why would I put my heart on the line again? Why would I set myself up for the possibility of getting hurt again? Because life is too short to be afraid of the next step. If nothing else, this year illustrates this better than any in recent history. My best friend lost the love of her life, I lost my job, and this year marks the tenth anniversary of my grandmother's passing- last month actually, 2 days before my birthday. Life is short people!! There is no guarantee for tomorrow. Zero. For that reason, I am putting it all on the table. Emotions, scarred heart and all. I am not trying to get married tomorrow, or in six months, or anytime soon, BUT if I like someone, I am going to say it. If I love someone I am going to tell them, even if he steps on my already broken, busted heart with the 100 band aids on it.... he will just have to be the 101st band aid. I am not afraid to say I love you, if those are the feelings that I have. That person may not be around tomorrow to hear it. I wish I could tell my grandmother one more time that I love her and she gave me one of the best examples of how to live a full life. I wish every day that I had an extra weekend with her to absorb some of that wisdom, to make her laugh again, to complain to her about how the world is going awry. Even my latest heartbreak- he has the best laugh I have ever heard- it is deep and hearty... genuine. I wish I could hear it again; wish I could see those beautiful eyes once again; feel another one of those tight hugs; have him push hair out of my eyes again, wake up next to his humongous dog again, or watch him fix dinner while I sit on a bar stool at his house and we share the happenings of our respective days. See, it sucks now because the end was horrible. This feisty girl put up with a lot more than usual, but I am going to make a choice. I choose to remind myself that he is scared, and I will not do or say things to hurt him like he has been hurt before. I choose to remember that we had a blast when we were together, that despite his latest fiasco (which was PLENTY awful) he sincerely is one of the nicest men I have met in a while (even if he does nice things secretly!) and I choose to remember that there are reasons why I love him.

He can not be the reason that I am mean to another guy- the only person that is suffering in that scenario is me... well, and the other guy. Some chick took the love that he offered up and took advantage of it, thoughtlessly throwing it aside like it didn't matter. For that- I don't have a cure, as hard as I might try, and OH-- I wanted to try. I wanted to make all that hurt go away. If I could have taken some of it as my own personal burden, I would have... but I couldn't. Someone used and abused his heart. While that is unfortunate, he is choosing to let that dictate the rest of his life. He won't take a chance... he is limiting his love experience, not allowing for the possibility of all the great things that can come from a good relationship. For that, I pity him.

Does it suck... um, yeah. Do I wish that there was a way for him to see the error of his ways, yep and maybe he will. Will this latest heartbreak keep me down? Absolutely not. It will take me a while, but this (self proclaimed) cute face will smile again, I will go a couple days without wanting to call him (hopefully), and I will slap one more band aid on this broken, bleeding heart of mine, shake the dust off and get out there again. I will not hide out in my flannel pjs for another weekend... Life is short, my friends. So, in the words of Horace: Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.

Miss Mox

Heather Headley - I Wish I Wasn't

Halloween Weekend 2009

Key Lyrics:

I wish I wasn't in love with you
So you couldn't hurt me
it just ain't fair the way you treat me
No you don't
deserve me
Wasting my time thinking bout you when you ain't never gon change
I wish I wasn't in love with you so I
wouldn't feel this way

Miss Mox

Janis Joplin - To Love Somebody

This song is dedicated to someone and he knows who he is and the reason for the dedication.

Janis Joplin- Work Me Lord

All.Time.Favorite... one of her best songs and it echoes my feelings today.

Little Todd and his endorsement

Five days ago 90 ministers came together and decided to endorse Todd Stroger in his run for re-election as Cook County Board President. I have several problems with the endorement. My issues with last Tuesday's "show" are plentiful, but the top three are: 1. Todd Stroger is a troll and not good for Cook County, 2. We have so many other problems in this city and these ministers should be worried about and 3. It is not the job of ministers to tell their "flock" who to vote for.

So, any readers who know me, know that I grew up as the child of a Deacon. I was very involved in church activities and adding to my well roundedness as an individual, I know my way around the Bible...some sections very well, if I do say so myself. Rest assured, no where in the Bible that I have read tells me that ministers should tell their parishioners who they should vote for. Let me just interject- the reason that these "ministers" gave was so lame. The quote in the paper was as follows "this community needs a united front to address the issues that are pressing against our people..." Really?? Hmmmm, let me think about that.

A united front? There are two very huge problems with that- anytime you propose that a whole community exclude people who are different, it is racist (even if the excluding group is a minority) and that is exactly what they are doing in regards to one of the people running for Stroger's job AND let us not forget that there are tons of other things that the Black community should agree on and present a united front about. How about instead of endorsing the troll, the Black community present a united front against teen pregnancy, the high percentage of our children in jail, the rising number of high school dropouts, the blatent violence in our community, the low number of MARRIED couples, the high number of obese children in our community, the high number of children being raised by a single parent, grandparent or guardian, etc. God knows that in a city like Chicago these "ministers" have so much more to work on than re-electing Stroger. Aren't they supposed to follow the Bible? Where in the Bible does it say advocate for a lame duck politician? No where I have read. In fact, what I read TODAY said "now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." (Ecclesiastes 12:13) More to the point, James 1:27 says "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Keep from being polluted by the world? Somehow, I don't think that trying to rescue the troll from his 10% approval rating is keeping the pollution of the world away from you.

Todd is a sinking ship, that should just get ready for his loss. He is NOT good for cook County and his track record shows this. To go along with his 10% approval rating, which HAS to consist of his family, Todd has assisted Cook County in becoming the highest taxed county in the country. Last year he started the penny on the dollar tax increase, which he has SAID saved the public health care system and prevented budget shortfalls. Really? Cook County is struggling like every other county in America. Although Todd the troll says that "people don't realize how well the county is being run" let me step out on a branch and disagree. Let's think about the facts that we do have about Todd the troll: he is assisting in the taxing of Chicago citizens- to the point of exhaustion; he hired his cousin Donna Dunnings to be the CFO of the county- she then hired her "boy toy" a former bus boy with no college degree and no experience to a post making $61,000/ year. During this time Dunnings herself was making $160,000- during a recession when the citizens of the city of Chicago are struggling to make ends meet. She used some of that salary to bail her "boy toy" out of jail- twice. What winners Todd picks and pays. His track record made the Democrats pass on endorsing him... and he is a Democrat. Bottom line: the only good thing he has done for Cook County... Hmmmm, there is not one.

And this is who the "ministers" want us to re elect? They put their seal of approval on Todd the troll? Wow. In the words of one of my friends "the ministers of Chicago need to get back to soul saving, and stop worrying about Todd Stroger"... Maybe they are endorsing him because he promised them all county jobs! ;)

I'm Still Here - Pearl Jam - Eddie Vedder

I swear, I died inside, that night.

Eddie Vedder - Trouble

Fits my day...

Animals in the street... Shame, shame, shame.

The video that is attached to this blog entry is disturbing. It is disturbing to me because it took place in the neighborhood just north of mine, because there are children involved, because no one seemed to care enough until the damage was already done AND because it was not reported on the Chicago news until the next day- after we all found out that the student that died was an honor student. I have a problem with the fact that these black children are fulfilling the stereotypes that people have of them. I have a problem with the fact that there is a police station down the street, yet there are no cops in this video. I am troubled by the fact that there are children TAPING this and screaming "daaammmmnnn" when their classmates get hit- like they are in a movie theater and this incident is somehow amusing.

These students should be ashamed. The gang members who started this melee in the middle of the street, turning Chicago into their own version of the wild, wild west, should feel ashamed- and be arrested. The police, who I generally have the utmost respect for, should HAVE to participate in more patrols when school gets out. The parents HAVE to raise their kids better than this. As a community WE have to do better than this.

Watching this, I am actually at a loss for words over the sheer stupidity of what is going on. I live in a working class neighborhood- it is not the best, but it is definitely NOT to worst in Chicago. We don't have to fight each other. I don't live in Boys in the Hood... seriously. Who does something like this? Now a 16 year old is dead, and lives will be ruined when someone gets arrested for this. Someone threw their life away in 3 minutes and for what? Are we so desensitized to violence that this shit passes for entertainment? Listen to the girl scream "zoom in" like this is a movie. This is NO FREAKING MOVIE- a boy lost his life. A boy, walking home from school LOST HIS LIFE. Think about that. He is never coming back, he will not turn 17, he will not graduate from high school... all so some stupid thug can claim a street in his neighborhood? All so some stupid jackass can brag that he has the biggest balls in the hood? Give me a break. A real man has no need to beat an unsuspecting boy who is walking home from school. Nevermind that, a real man has no need to be in a gang or fighting in the street like an asshole.

Here is my call to the "village"... Black people have to do better. Don't give me any excuses, because I don't want to hear them. There is no reason for us to PROVE to the doubters, haters and the racists that we are exactly what they think we are. Our ancestors died for the right to go to school and vote... they were still fighting less than 50 years ago. Those people are rolling around in their graves when they look down and see these types of displays. My grandparents did not get disrespected so that these assholes can beat an innocent boy in the middle of the street. My great grandparents did not suffer through indignities so that black students can drop out of school in record numbers, or so that black parents can do some lack luster job. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???????

And I don't want to hear anything about the stigma of slavery, because I am black and I am tired of US falling back on the slavery issue. At some point we have let that shit go and move forward. The attached video is a leap backward. Even if there were some lingering effects of slavery or other socio-economic issues, in this video there are black children beating black children. We are attacking ourselves. I feel like Bill Cosby a few years ago- what excuse is there going to be for this behavior? There should be NONE. We have to start holding our youth to higher standards because- even if it is not fair- they are already expected to fail... already expected to fail. If we continue to allow behavior like this- this deadly, ghetto, repugnant, self destructing behavior- we are no better than our critics. We have to be better and the only way it will get better is if someone from our community takes a stand. Say something... do something. I am sure that I will catch some flack for this entry and I don't care. You don't want me to put you blast, do better. You don't want me to talk about you AND your kids, do better. You don't want me to call you an embarrassment? Do better. You don't want me to agree with your critics? DO BETTER.

My parents used to tell me to be different- I was and continue to be, so my advice to whoever is reading this: Be the exception, not the rule.

Insurance Companies v. The American Public... Hmmmm?

I am smiling while I write this blog about insurance companies because I used to work for one- a MAJOR one, so I know how slimy they can be. By no means am I saying that all insurance companies are slimy, manipulative organizations... but I do see how the present business infrastructure in America allows them to do whatever they want- and get away with it- with very few checks and balances.  

In addition to knowing some of the inter-workings of a major insurance provider, I am also heavily opinionated (shocker!) about regulating the insurance empire in this country. I got into this very long winded argument on facebook- of all places- about whether or not the government should intervene and make sure all citizens are covered by some insurance company.  This was not my first argument and I imagine that it will not be my last, which is just fine. I strongly stand on the "everyone needs healthcare" platform.  It is much cheaper to have preventative medicine than to fight a progressing disease.  We live in the RICHEST country in the world... WHY should our citizens go without healthcare?? So far, no one has been able to give me a convincing argument against my platform... but I am listening....

Need a reason why insurance companies canNOT be trusted to do the right thing?? Click here.

"Love Poem" Lemon

LOL!!!

The battle of stupidity, aka Michael Vick

As a dog owner, I have never hidden my feelings towards the Michael Vick situation as soon as it hit the news. So, the following blog will DEFINITELY not be a shock to anyone who knows me, or reads my blog on a regular basis. Be forewarned, this entry has been rewritten a few times- simply because I believe that text is more persuasive if it does not include a curse word in every sentence. With that said, please do not think my words timid or inadequate on the subject, I believe that Michael Vick is scum; his actions deplorable; and for me there is NO punishment will make what he knowingly participated in ok.

During my weekly relaxation session (which includes coffee and the Sunday newspapers) I came across an article- which I believe is also posted on sportsillustrated.com- that actually argued for Michael Vick's reinstatement to the NFL. I guess that I should be 100% forthcoming and tell everyone reading this that I have 5 wonderful dogs, each and every one a rescue of some sort. Each and every one a member of my family. They share my space, my home, my life. I cook for them, they eat the best food available, they get the best care and they are my greatest investment to date. Because of my great bond with these lovable little creatures I think that Michael Vick, his cohorts and anyone who did what he has finally admitted to are the biggest cowards on Earth.

When asked about his very cruel, illegal treatment of the dogs in his kennel (fittingly named, Bad Newz Kennels), Michael Vick proved what a coward he was by lying- to the public, his team and the NFL Commissioner. Once it was proven that MV was not only financing this dog fighting franchise, but was also involved in the killing of the dogs that lost, there was a public apology. MV was so sorry about what he had done. I don't believe that shit for a minute. MV did not kill ONE dog, he didn't finance ONE fight, he didn't do it ONCE. It was an ongoing operation. Thousands of his hardly-hard-earned NFL money went to pumping dogs full of steroids, making them exercise until they were exhausted, training dogs until they were blood thirsty and fighting until a dog died. And Vick was sorry. So sorry. Punk.

Why is there any thought that this FELON somehow deserves his job back? Is the NFL considering giving him his job back because he was only is jail for abusing animals? If so, shame on them. I know people who have been to prison- who are felons. They don't have multi-million dollar jobs waiting for them when they get out. They have to take what is offered, menial or not. Is it because they can't throw a football? Is it because they don't have "fans" that pay high ticket prices to see them play a child's game? Is it simply because they aren't Michael Vick? WTH? With all this press and even the possibility that MV might get back into the NFL, it seems as though the money hungry league and its lovely commissioner are saying that it doesn't matter that Vick tormented animals, because there is still a dollar to be made off him. Now, would they even consider reinstating him if he embezzled money? If he bet on his team? Hell, Pete Rose was arguably one of the best baseball players ever and he is not looking good for the Hall of Fame- ever. But somehow it seems fair that Vick get the chance to make millions of dollars again? Hmmmmmm. What life must be like as a cash cow.


Don't get me wrong- everyone makes mistakes. Some people are not ever going to be poster children for fame and fortune. But when do we start to hold people accountable? When he participated in this craziness, Vick wasn't 16. Next year he will be 30. He is an adult and should pay the consequences as an adult. If that means he is banned from the NFL, so be it!


Wow- I sound angry. I AM angry. Not only did Michael Vick embarrass the league that is currently thinking about letting him back in, he also embarrassed his family and his community. He is no role model; he is nothing special. Unfortunately, like hundreds of others, he is a criminal who used to be a high paid athlete, a cliche, a punk. I have no sympathy for him, his supporters or the NFL if they let him back in. And rest assured, even if he joins my beloved Bears, I will not support the team that he goes to. I hope I am not the only one to boycott said team... If they burden us with Vick, I say speak to them in the only language they seem to understand... Punish their pocketbook.

In the past weeks

So, as I blogged almost a month ago, Michal Jackson passed away. I, like most, spent a couple days reliving my MJ memories, watching vintage video and watching the fall out drama. I needed those couple of days to wrap my head around the death of a superstar, but after those couple of days the shock wore off. The sadness was still there because a human being died, but I was over hearing about it every 15 seconds. Yet, almost a month later, Michael Jackson (and his dysfunctional family) are still in the news.

Many other deaths have taken a backseat to Michael Jackson. One would obviously be Farrah Fawcett, who dies the same day as MJ, yet I could not tell you where she is buried, what her family did or said to the media. Weird, huh? Below are a few more spectacular people, who deaths have been out shined by the media circus following the Michael Jackson story:

H.M. Cummings (90)- died in my hometown, Columbus, Ohio. Mr. Cummings was a member of the Tuskegee Airmen, who were America's first black military airmen. These men fought racism and bigotry at home and overseas. Rough estimates (on wikipedia) state that around 12% of the pilots and less than 1% of the ground personnel are still alive. For a more comprehensive review of these history changing men, please see: tuskegeeairmen.org

Allen Klein (77): Mr. Klein was the business manager to Sam Cooke, the Rolling Stones and the Beatles. He was also an accountant and a record label owner. He bought rights to music by the Animals, Herman's Hermits, Bobby Rydell and Chubby Checker to name a few.

Oscar Mayer (95): retired chairman of the cold cuts company known for hot dogs, bologna, bacon, etc.

Steve McNair (36): Retired NFL quarterback who was killed by his mistress.

Robert McNamara (93): 8th US Secretary of Defense under JFK and LBJ. McNamara was also President of the World Bank (1968-81) and the President of Ford Motor Company.

Dempsey Travis (89): a true Renaissance man, a Chicagoan. Travis was a self made millionaire who made a name for himself by starting real estate companies and revitalizing portions of the South Side of Chicago. He also covered Chicago events, especially the Harold Washington era, through his writings.

Walter Cronkite: world renowned news anchor.

These are just a few people that have passed away since the death of Michael Jackson. Their absence will be felt and their contributions will thankfully be used to our advantage. They should not be outshined by the passing of a superstar- and they won't be, on this blog.