Soulful Saturday - Love Lost

To say that wedding planning is craziness AND a hot poker to the eye is putting it lightly. *Sigh* Creating a day for everyone ain't gonna happen, so Lefty and I have decided to have a kick ass engagement party (date pending) and a very small ceremony at City Hall (date also pending). That is how far we have gotten in two months. Eh, c'est la vie!

Thinking of wedding stuff has made me think about getting to this point in life. Love found and lost; love found and kept; starting a life together... finally leaving behind all the crazies that you have dated before this. So this week's Soulful Saturday is dedicated to the "love" we all thought we had before. Albums upon albums have been made about love lost (hello Adele, I am looking at your success over an album full of breakup baggage). Break up songs might be more profitable than weddings (and trust me friends, that is a LOT of money). Let's mix some new and old, shall we?

 Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

I have to admit that I love this song... mostly because this little leprechaun is the same height as me and I have been channeling his hair lately. Ok, ok- Bruno may be shorter than the average woman, but he is uber talented... just slightly overplayed on the radio stations. That is not his fault though, so he gets the first song. Bet he (and many others) wishes he was a better boyfriend (and a little taller). Oh, PS- The Voice is the best talent show on tv- take that American Idol (you suck).


Christina Perri - Crying 

A Roy Orbison cover? Yes, ma'am!! CP is wonderful! You probably know her from her other barn buster break up song Jar of Hearts. Guitar and singing? Winning combo and great song for this week. Sing it, girlie! :)



Mariah Carey - Without You

Curly haired Mariah. You know, before she turned into a crazy spaz. Thank God for a phase of real singing and no booty shorts and stripper shoes. Where did that go?



James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore 

British. Lovely Lyricist. Amazing.

**"I can't explain why it's not enough... I gave it all to you."**



Adele - Turning Tables

The QUEEN of the break up song (and fake lashes). I don't care who you are, Adele has written a song for your punk ass- revenge driven, sorrow filled, wanting you back. Whatever you need she has given it life- trust that! She is so far beyond amazing, it is sick and seriously, if someone thinks that she's not... they are a hater.

**I can't keep up with your turning tables; under your thumb, I can't breathe.**

College Sports & Modern Day Slavery?

I did not watch the National Championship College Basketball Game Monday night. Like many nights, I was at work... sigh. I'm working on getting a new job, but anyway-- I also didn't watch because if there is one person who loathes michigan more than me, I have not met them. Ok, maybe I have... she's my mother. I was glad to see that Louisville won (Yay!) Yes, so I wake up Tuesday afternoon (a second shift job will do that to you) and watched Facebook and Twitter timelines light up with references to college sports and slavery. Universities living on the backs of unpaid athletes. These poor, poor kids that are taken advantage of. Uh, no ma'ams... no sirs.

To say that I disagree would be putting it lightly-- too lightly. And I'll tell you why. I have a brother who will more than likely play college sports. Hell, one day, I may be watching him on tv. He plays basketball because he loves it. He knows that basketball could be the avenue to take him to a different kind of life. Trust me, the life he lives now is comfortable- new shoes, clothes, food (always... teenage boys, damn- no food is safe), private school; but a sport has the ability to elevate a very comfortable life to one where millions of dollars are on the table. He, like others, will manipulate his ability to play a sport to get closer to the possibility of a fabulous pay out. I see nothing wrong with that. Colleges and universities will use his ability to come closer and closer to millions of dollars in advertising, alumni contributions and team recognition. I see nothing wrong with that, either.

Student athletes are not allowed to have jobs. Ok, but they are compensated. They get free tuition, a free education, free food. Trust me, free food for teenage boys equals tons of money! And as a person who is beginning to pay back student loans (oh my god, I will be broke for life) believe me when I tell you a free education is nothing to scoff at. A free education is priceless. There is literally no amount that I could put on that. When you think for a moment that some of these athletes are taken from bad environments and given the chance to grow in their sport AND academically (often with FREE help, supplied BECAUSE they are athletes) maybe we should be a little more upset that these athletes do not take full advantage of the universities that give them these scholarships. Maybe we should be more upset about athletes leaving without college degrees vs. being mad at the universities for "pimping" these "poor students."

And yes, I KNOW the NCAA has rules against receiving money. I also know that athletes receive money... from all sources. We all know this game and the rules, don't we? This game brings up no semblance of slavery for me.


 

Our Relationship with Black Politicians

As I was perusing Facebook today, I came across a post about my city. Our Mayor, Michael Coleman, announced yesterday that Columbus is being honored as one of the most intelligent cities in the world and that there will be a free public celebration with community leaders... Ok, I was excited. How great that the city that I live in is being honored like that, right? Right?

 Clearly, I need to drink more haterade, so that I can be on the same level as other Facebookers. I mean, you should SEE some of the comments that were left on this announcement. It was so bad that I felt the need to comment on these people (obviously). There were the run of the mill "Congrats" which I guess I expected. Then there were the "April Fools" comments since it was posted on April 1. As I scrolled down, though, my heart began to sink and my anger began to rise. Who is shocked by that? No one? Ok, moving on.

I will quote the comments...

"it sure is april fools...if we were that intelligent we wouldn't keep electing this demonrat moron."

To be expected also... I think. I have never really grasped the reasoning behind liking a page on Facebook of someone you dislike, only to leave hate filled messages when they post something. Who has time for that? And really, why would you want to do that? Next one:

"Intelligent only because we have OSU, CCAD, CSCC, Franklin, ITT, DeVry in close proximity. However, they get educated and LEAVE because there's nothing here. Especially for the film, music, art community."

Also, to be expected... though this comment is incorrect. There are tons of arts and music to be had and made in Columbus. There are TONS of people who come here for school who fall in love with the city and never leave (Lefty, for example). And, I have to say, unlike Cleveland and Cincinnati and other bigger cities in Ohio, Columbus is booming with business, jobs, education and family friendly venues. I feel like I always have to defend where I grew up to people who have never been here, but if you live in Columbus and think it has nothing to offer my one question would be: Why don't you move? Be a part of the educated masses that "LEAVE because there's nothing here." Wouldn't we all be better off? I mean, you wouldn't have to take time out of your oh so busy day to leave ridiculous comments on the Mayor's Facebook page. Comments that 1 - probably won't hurt his feelings and 2 - he is NOT likely to read, since he is, you know, busy running the city.

Here is a funny one:

"Oh dear, I clearly haven't been factored into the intelligence measure." I chuckled when I read that!

And here is the kicker:

"The poor condition of Black African Americans in Columbus has a direct correlation to your leadership. There are still artificial barriers intentionally designed that deny Blacks access to city, county and state programs that dole our our tax dollars. City Council just gave $500,000 to TechColumbus, but did anyone ask to see their track record of funding Black African Americans? Black Entrepreneurs must leave Columbus and Ohio to achieve any success due to racist policies that Black Faces in High Places help to maintain. That's a dam shame!"

Ok, how do I say this without offending people? Oh, I don't- here goes: Seriously, what? Michael Coleman is NOT in charge of all Black people in Columbus, simply because he is Black. This guy wants to see the track record of funding for Black people--  I want to see the number of Black people who actually applied for funding and what they wanted funding for. Racist policies? Clearly this man has never lived in Chicago, where nepotism rules the roost; or some places in the South, where racist is overt and dangerous.

I have said this before and I will say it again- Black politicians cannot be looked at like they will/can "save" the Black race. That is ridiculous. Our community has problems, like any other. Those problems were not brought on by one person, so one person cannot solve them. Black or not. President, Mayor, City Counsel member, whomever. Some barriers that block Black people are self built. Having Black people in every part of government/leadership is not going to fix all that ails the Black community. At some point the Black community, or any other community that is having trouble, will have to realize that certain problems need a hands on approach. We cannot continue the attempts to pass the buck to Black politicians to fix "us." And, more importantly, if we have problems, why on Earth would we allow someone else to fix them? Problem solving for an individual starts on a personal level, right? If there is a mess and you want it cleaned up, you pick up a broom and some rags and get to cleaning, right? So, why then are we comfortable handing over the reins to one person to fix a problem that, ultimately, starts at home?

If there is no funding, where are the protests? If there is a history of unfair treatment, where are the marches? If there is an overabundance of violence in our community, where are the calls to the police? The cries for justice? The fight against the hoodlums? The fight against stereotypes? The fight for innocence? The passion for the betterment of our community? Where is it? Are you producing that fight, or waiting for a Black politician to give you the podium? What are you waiting for?


 

Soulful Saturday - The O'Jays

Soulful Saturday... during March Madness. It is total... Madness! :)

 I have been listening to more music than usual (so that would equal about 26 hours a day) while doing wedding planning. Ok, it really isn't wedding planning; right now we are planning an engagement party for our friends and families. Party needs music though, so I have been using my listening cap... a LOT. I didn't have to stray far from my listening pleasures to fall (back) in love with The O'Jays. Eddie Levert, like his son, can sing a few bars of a song and I will know it is him. Plus, can't go wrong with showing some Ohio love. Formed in Canton (think NFL Hall of Fame), The O'Jays have survived almost six decades of being in the music industry and their track record is spectacular. Here are a few of my favorites:

 Forever Mine

*we were made for each other.
*we go together like birds in the trees. I'd be in a world of trouble, girl, if you wasn't here with me... STAY forever mine... cause you're my kind.



Stairway To Heaven

(Note: if you ever need an example of "babymaking music" here it is... you ARE welcome)

*Stairway to Heaven; we're going step by step, together



Use Ta Be My Girl 

*Ask me how I know and I'll tell you so... she use ta be my girl.




For The Love Of Money (Live)

(Note: The older I get, the truer and truer this song gets...)

Workplace Chronicles - Hey Zeus

I often say that work gets in the way of my productivity. It does. Thoughts of being independently wealthy, living on an island with Lefty, good food, books and an Internet connection often run through my mind... while at work. Since I spend so much time with my co-workers, I have decided to write about them, just so y'all can see what I have to deal with. It is sheer craziness.

I work for a large manufacturing company, which shall remain nameless in these posts. Every day I help produce a product that is widely used in the United States and the rest of the world. Yay us! Working in a factory ensures that I, daily, run into people of all kinds. There are people from the country, city... Indiana. All walks of life; all sorts of craziness. Need an example? Meet Hey Zeus.

I call this co-worker Hey Zeus because he routinely wears a hat that reads (screams) "Hooked On Jesus". I refuse to type Jesus as his nickname and have readers think I mean the BIG Jesus, so I break it down and he is Hey Zeus. Hey Zeus came to our area, armed with his "Hooked on Jesus" hat and his above the board behavior. That has all gone by the wayside. Hey Zeus used to be quiet and when talk when on the side of the inappropriate (like it often does) he became even more quiet or walked away from the crowd of delinquents. Now sweet little Hey Zeus is right in the thick of things, yucking it up with the heathens of our area, loving life. Gone are the days of the walk away. Oh no!!

Hey Zeus does not know my name. It is on my uniform. I'm convinced he can't read. He calls me a name that RHYMES with my name, but that is really not the same. He stutters and tells very intimate stories about his "magic fingers" (puke). Last week, I (kinda) sexually harassed Hey Zeus... completely inadvertently. Yeah-- I was running a bit behind on a process, quickly turned around, hands up, to start the next unit and ran directly into Hey Zeus, my hands caressing his man boobs. Oh.My.God, just thinking about that makes me feel icky. It has been awhile since I have felt so dirty. Now, every time I see him, I blush and pray that he doesn't tell me the story of his "magic fingers"... Ewwwww.

Hey Zeus will reappear in these stories- of that I am sure. He has taken a small break from wearing his name giving hat... last night it was back. Maybe the innocence has returned? I doubt it.

To Be Young, Black and Female

Oh, awards season... you give me so much to talk about. For once,I am not talking about something that someone was wearing, but instead I am typing about the now infamous Tweet that made the interwebs scream with justifiable outrage last night. If you missed it (where have you been?!) a parody newspaper- that will remain unnamed because I am not giving them any free press on this blog- called a 9 year old, Black actress a cunt.

Now, I know what parody and satire are, I use these instruments in my every day life. I use them well... against people who deserve it. I also know what Freedom of Speech is. I often defend the right for people to say what is on their mind... and my right to make them pay for it through tears they will shed when I prove them wrong. Calling a 9 year old a cunt is not parody or satire. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't funny. Does this "newspaper" have the right to say it? Yes, but then we, as the public, have the right to make them regret the choice of posting it on social media. I gladly take part in making them regret that choice.

I am angry. I am angry because there are people who have actually typed "that is just how this 'newspaper' is." That does not excuse the behavior. There are people who deny the racial aspect of this tweet... and believe me, there IS a racial aspect to this tweet, namely that this "newspaper" has never used this vile description for a young white female who was nominated for an Oscar. There has been plenty of opportunity for that to happen, considering there have been scores of young, white women who have attended the Oscars and have been nominated for awards. So many more opportunities for this kind of thing to happen to Dakota Fanning, or her sister Elle, or anyone that looks like them.

Most of all, I am angry with Black people who seem to have no outrage for this behavior. I don't care who it is- no one, no publication, no politician, no RAPPER has the right to attack our children. Ever. That little girl got nominated for her work, got dressed up and went to an awards ceremony. That does not make her available for being called anything but her name (which I cannot pronounce). Going to get praised for work that you have done, especially as a child, SHOULD NOT open you up for name calling. I don't care if it was intended as a joke. There is not one thing that a 9 year old can do that would be a justification for calling her a cunt. Truthfully, there are a limited amount of things any woman could do that would warrant calling a GROWN woman a cunt. I am angry with Black people because about a year ago, everyone was so upset because of an unprovoked shooting of a Florida teen. Oh, there were marches and fantastic speeches and facebook petitions. Yet, here you can see the disgrace; you can see the beginning of the depravity. THIS is when there should be protests, letting people know that Black children cannot be abused in the "media". The protests cannot be saved for when they are shooting children down in the street because then it is TOO LATE. We should not be complacent about this "newspaper" calling this unsuspecting girl a cunt, a rapper calling women hoes and bitches (and our children constantly repeating these ideas), a man hitting a woman, a woman hitting a man, or ANYONE, under ANY circumstance, using whatever position they have to make others feel bad about themselves. This is NOT ok and what we put up with now is what will be used to destroy us later. You want to complain to me about how Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, yet you don't want to defend a little girl who is being attacked by a media outlet? You want to tell me about the plight of Black men and how they are an endangered species in America and there should be outrage for you... yet, you are ok with this little girl getting lambasted and called out of her name? Where are the fathers? Where are the protectors? Where is the outrage for her? Can you NOT see that if we let this go, someone will do it again and think it is ok? That this could be the beginning of a downward spiral?

And just so everyone is clear: Freedom of Speech is real and I believe in it. I also believe in consequences and paying for what you have done. Those are not separate ideals. If you put something out there, be prepared to reap the anguish or the benefits. Hopefully this "media outlet" suffers some firings and reorganizations for this monumental mishap.


 

Eat, Drink and Be... Married.

Holy shit, this has been a crazy week. Not only have Lefty and I been working six days a week for what seems like an eternity, Valentine's Day was Thursday and we got engaged. What?!?!?! Read that last part again!! :-) We got engaged. I am not generally one for surprises and Lefty knows that, so how he pulled this off... I am still baffled.

We decided to have a day date- because we work the night shift at a local manufacturing plant and we had to work Thursday night. He came to my house at 12:30 for a surprise and lunch. He was bearing gifts. I am not one for flowers all the time, but I do LOVE candy. He had this in hand:

There was THE sweetest card I have EVER received and a bouquet of sorts...

That would be a bouquet of Fruit Gushers. Does this man know me, or does he know me? I guess I should have known that something was up when I noticed that Lefty was wearing a tie (he never does that), though I did quickly realize where we were headed... because said tie had books on it. 

One of the first dates that we had was at the Columbus Metropolitan Library. I took him. We are book nerds. Seriously. The history section of the library gives us life. I'm not kidding. Lefty was a history major during his Buckeye years, and history was one of my majors when I was partying it up in Oxford, Ohio so when I say that we can devour stories of the past, know that it is not an exaggeration. Also the Main Library opened in 1907... more history. I was so excited as we pulled up to the library- whatever, I attribute my giddiness to book dust (or something!) :) But seriously, how can you drive up to this building and NOT be excited?!?!?! 

Amazing, right? 

We walked around for about 45 minutes. History section, of course. After about 45 minutes I was getting hungry (Note: I am an eater. I like food. Real food. Not a salad orderer at restaurants!!) Me: "ok, babe- you ready to go eat?" Him: "yep!" I checked out a book and started to head for the side door. 

The Main Library has been revamped since the last time I lived in Columbus, so before we left, Lefty asked if I had seen the front entry way since I'd moved back. I hadn't, so we headed up the marble stairs (right inside the front doors) to check out the second level where there is an art gallery and the administrative offices. We checked out the small art gallery, the flowers that are carved into the ceiling and the beautiful stained glass windows (you can't tell but they are the semi-circles in the picture). I was so busy looking around at this wonderfully quiet, beautiful place with the sunshine shining on me through these amazing stained glass windows that I didn't even notice that Lefty was on one knee! 

Me: "What are you doing? Oh..."

Him: "You make my life incredible. I can't imagine being without you. [Insert my FULL name] will you marry me?" 

He then told me to check my text messages. While we were in the gallery he text messaged me this: 

Yeah- we are scrabble nerds also. Ha!! How sweet is that?! 

Oh yes, it was amazing. AMAZING. Short, sweet and freaking amazing!! I said yes... we went to lunch (yay!!) and then to work (boo!) 

As for the ring: he did a fabulous job. I am not really a diamond kinda girl and I don't want something that everyone else has. PLUS, I have a job where wearing jewelry is sometimes problematic. Well, he got my ring in Paris... so I doubt that women will be running around with the same ring on :) I love it and the wedding bands (diamonds) that will go with it will fit around its curves. 

All in all... Thursday was about the BEST day EVER (minus the working part). It was perfect for me; for us. Lefty has made me an amazingly lucky, loved, respected, hot, Black and bitter woman. You can't see me right now, but I am totally smiling- and have been since we met. 

New Running Shoes

Hola! Or something like that :) Just dropping in for a short update on the running schedule for 2013. A couple of weeks ago... I got these sweet babies!!


 

Now, I have to say- this is not going to turn into a running blog (I don't think), but these are truly the best fitting running shoes I have ever had. I went to Fleet Feet Columbus where the (very) tall guy that was helping me started out by asking what I was looking for. I had no idea. He asked me what I did for work; if I had any aches and pains (I have lots); and he measured my feet- several times. He also got me on a treadmill so he could record me running (gasp!) He brought out three pairs of shoes for my (wide) feet and the above is what I left with. Amazing fit. They STILL feel so good when I out them on... which helps me actually want to put them on and run. Win win. I have never run in Saucony, so this is going to be an adventure!

When I need another pair of running shoes, I will be heading back to Fleet Feet and if you have one in your town, check them out!

Bill Cosby and Black People

This is from a few years ago, but I love him. Truth hurts and he is telling it. The Revolution is in your house!!

My Abhorrence For Progressive Flo

Dear Progressive Flo:

I am writing to tell you that although your commercials are generally the bane of my existence, I really HATE your new effort. To me, a person who rarely complains about things that are racially insensitive (or any kind of insensitivity, really), this commercial seems way too reminiscent of the stereotypes that ran rampant in the 1920s, 30s... 40s. It starts off with an overweight woman demanding to see Flo about something that she gave to her husband and ends with a Black man acting like a fool. Oh, sigh... Flo, Flo, my sweet, annoying, ignorant Flo- even I, with my general lack of emotions, can see the resemblance between this "customer" and a mammy; and her husband as a Sambo. Even me.

Now look, I realize that since you are generally annoying the pants off of people, 60 seconds at a time, that it may not have crossed your little mind that this commercial could, you know, be offensive, but trust me, it is. This "commercial" happens to look more like a minstrel show than an ad for insurance. Let's look at this lady in your commercial. You know, for some comparison, Flo. This overweight, wide eyed woman comes into Progressive, looking for an explanation for her husband's seemingly incomprehensible ability to handle every day situations. You, Flo, calmly explain that you gave him the answer to all of his insurance problems, but there is a warning-- the "power" that you have given him can go to one's head. Then, the Black woman strikes that ever familiar pose (shaking head, hands on hips) and you cut away to her husband thinking he can conquer juggling chainsaws. Hmmm. The name of this work of art is 'Empowered' when really, it should be named "Let's try to pass this off and see how many Black people actually know that they are being made fun of."

Your "new" shit:


Some "old" shit:


Oh Flo, I can't be the only one that has noticed that really the only thing missing from this interaction with this woman is a dance move, or a musical number while she cooks dinner. But, I am helpful so here, let me give you (and your people at Progressive) a clue: not all Black women sing and dance, shake their heads, point their fingers and put their hands firmly on ample hips. Not all Black men act a fool after a white person solves a problem for them. No one wants to buy insurance from a shrill woman, like yourself. Even though Progressive is an Ohio company I, as an Ohioan, would be more likely to eat at Chik-Fil-A than buy your product (and I plan to NEVER eat at Chik-Fil-A). For the life of me, I just can't believe that no one has said this before... Oh wait... I'm not the first person to point out your insensitivity. You might want to look into that.

 Sincerely,

 Tired of Your Shit

 

The Last Time I Shouted Hallelujah...

Sunday. Sunday morning in the Midwest. I'm feeling guilty. Why, you ask? Because here in the Midwest, Sunday morning is church time. I know, I know... Chicago is part of the Midwest. But not really. Things are different there. People still go to church, but trust me when I type it, it is NOT the same as the Bible belt of Columbus, Ohio.

I really need to get back to church! I mean, the last time I shouted hallelujah was during the chorus of "It's Raining Men" while watching 'Magic Mike'. While that shout was enthusiastic, I am sure that is not what God had in mind about making a joyful noise...

Bottom line, by the time you read this, I will be on my way to find a new church. Happy Sunday.


 

Soulful Saturday - Happy New Year, Go Get It!

HAPPY NEW YEAR...

I want to start out this new year with an inspirational Soulful Saturday. I know this is the time of resolutions, new beginnings, renewal; time for people to start over. I'll meet that time with my own bit of musical inspiration for you. I'm not big on gospel music. I mean, I have a few favorites, but generally, I leave gospel music on the shelf with country and rap. I call that shelf the 'um, no' shelf.

However, I freaking LOVE this song! Can you say that you freaking love a gospel song? Is that kosher? Eh, either way, Mary Mary lights my whole day on FIRE when I hear them sing this song. I put the lyrics below so you can read along. It is more than a few months old, but who cares? It fits with starting anew and is totally going to be one of my anthems this year. 2013 is not ready for me (or you either...) Go after what you want! Light a fire under your own ass! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?! Go Get It!!


 

Lyrics

It's like you're looking through a telescope/ you see where you gonna be
Growing, getting better/ you're not the person they see
Can't be mad at the things you been through/ cuz they built your muscle
Now you're stronger than you've ever been/ they can't stop your hustle

Your Faith ain't never small/ that's what brought you this far 
See you got your dreams and you got your prayers
and you got Your God he gone take you there
See everybody has a season and I believe this one's yours
Cuz you been workin, waitin, this what you been prayin for 

Go get it, Go Get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it Go get your blessing
Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it
It's your time, it's your time, it's your time, it's your time

You were made to live a good life and that's what I believe
So hit the floor, say a prayer start working/ you got to do something
It's alright to crawl before you walk, it's alright to walk before you run
But if you wanna get what you never got, gotta do something that you never done 

[Repeat Chorus]

You've been qualified
With his mercy, multiplied
You cannot be denied
Cuz you're finally certified
It's official
Go ahead and testify
He's gonna bless you
You gonna bless him
Now God be glorified

You'll Take Happy Holidays... And Like It!

Lefty and I have been traveling fools lately. We have spent the holiday season all over the Midwest (Ohio, Chicago, Green Bay). I have some fun posts about eating because we enjoyed some fabulous food in the last couple of months, but that is not what this post is about.

Picture this: Chicago, the day after Christmas. Less than a dusting of snow on the ground, but the winds were blustery. I do mean that they were bowl you over on the street strong. Wow. And guess who forgot her gloves in Columbus? Yep, they were doing me all kinds of good in Columbus. Duh. So, Lefty and I set out from our hotel to do some glove shopping on State Street. We couldn't find scarves and gloves in Macy's -- and what the fuck was that about?! We asked employees and still could NOT find them. Customer Service sucks at that store. Anyway, we made our way to TJMaxx, found some gloves and stood in a forever line to check out. When we were called to a register, we passed someone who was done and this is the conversation that took place.

Cashier: "Here is your change and receipt, thank you and Happy Holidays!"

Customer: "Um, Christmas is over."

And he walks out.

Now, I don't know if this man was brought up in a barn or not, but I was taught that when someone says something nice to you, you respond with "thank you." What the hell? I actually had to unfriend more than a few pages and people on facebook because their biggest gripe wasn't about the fiscal cliff we just averted, the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary or ending the war in Afghanistan, bringing home troops, finding a cure for cancer... Nope, their biggest complaint was that the holiday card that was sent out by the White House didn't have a Christmas tree on it. Bitch, please find your life. Let me let you all in on a little secret that I was hoping I would never have to type because people should REALLY just know: Um, the United States of America is NOT a Christian nation. Everyone who lives here does not go to a Christian church on Sundays. Christmas is NOT the only holiday celebrated during this "holiday season." You really seem like a jackass when you are unable to meet a nice gesture with a thank you.

I mean, have we devolved into this? Whatever holiday season you celebrate (or if you don't celebrate at all) would it kill you to be nice? I mean, think about that... and who it is coming from. I have perfected being mean and tactless and even I was bothered by the egotistical, Christian centered behavior that I observed last month, especially. Would it kill you to take a "Happy Holidays" without bitching about how politically correct life has become? How about a "thank you" or "same to you"?? How about thinking: "wow, that was nice for this person to take the time out of their day to say something nice to me"?? There is no rule stating that everyone has to celebrate the same. Some of us need to resolve not to be walking dicks this year... and for the first time, that I can remember... that group does not include me.

Happy (all) Holidays!

Happy New Year- make it count!

 

Wonder Filled Wednesday

Kind of like deep thoughts for snarky people! :)

I often wonder why:

When something bad happens to someone who has wronged us, it is karma biting them in the ass; them getting exactly what they deserve. But, when something bad happens to us we never wonder what we did wrong or what deed karma is making us pay for... we only wonder why such bad things happen to such good people. Hmmm.


 

What Forgiveness Gave You...

I took a lot of flack for THIS post. When I wrote that earlier this year, my email account was set ablaze by all the people who kept saying that "people deserve a second chance" and "one event should not define a person." Hmm. Today Chris Brown took to his Twitter account and showed all of us what a second, third, fourth and fifth chance will give you. Craziness.

Just in case the screen shot is too small (and the tweets have been deleted), I'll type out the pertinent entries. Let's see, he says "Just ask Rihanna if she mad?????" If that doesn't do it for you, how about Let me leave this bitch alone... It's good to know my worth by listening to a bitch that is worthless #iwin" And if that doesn't help you see what a moron he is, how about "The funniest shit is not giving a fuck." Those don't include the instructions he gave a woman on how to suck his dick or how he wanted to shit in her eye. Yes, SHIT in her EYE. While I was writing this entry this dummy has (finally) decided that maybe Twitter is not for him and deleted his account-- though I am SURE that he will put it back up once he takes his medication.

This fool keeps showing people over and over again that he does not care about you, your momma, your sister, women in general. Yet people, particularly in the Black community, are so quick to come to his defense at every turn. Why??? He does not deserve it and the undying devotion is unintelligent and nauseating. I want to punch him in the nuts. The fact that he is so unapologetic and SO amazingly unstable SHOULD be enough for people with common sense to not fuck with this dumb ass anymore... but as we all know, common sense is not so common. The fact that he is such a pig to women, YET women continually throw themselves at him is fucking disgusting.  Shame on you supporters... and for those of you in the Black community... if you were actually more intent on BEING a role model instead of LOOKING for a role model in these so called superstars (musicians, athletes, whomever) maybe we would be better off as a community.


 

That Just Happened?!

So, we all know that i have moved back to my hometown. The streets sometimes look a little different, but mostly things are the same as they were 16 years ago-- people included. Let me type what happened last night after I got off work... when I was traumatized.

I work second shift and if I don't stop for food after work my stomach starts to eat itself while I am sleeping. Ok, that is slightly dramatic, but suffice it to say, I am starving after work. There is a Subway, not that far from my house, that is open 24 hours. I pull up in the parking lot and see someone that looks vaguely familiar. It is after 1 in the morning so I am super hesitant to say anything, but hey... I'm me, so I call out his name (which I will NOT post... BECAUSE he is a relative. Not like a first cousin or someone I have to see at reunions BUT a freaking relative nonetheless). Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hey, it has been so long since I have seen you! How are things?

Him: Good! Look at you, looking all good.

Me: (taken aback... mostly because I am still wearing my work uniform) Thanks.

Him: So, are you involved or what?

Me: (taken further aback because we are RELATED). Yes, I am involved. You never know, I might get married some day. Hahahahaha. (that would be laughing away awkwardness).

Him: Oh yeah? I'm getting married in April.

At this point, y'all, I had to leave the conversation. He commented again, twice actually, how I was "looking real good"... I said my goodbyes and exited stage left. Seriously?! As a RELATIVE, did you just hit on me? Then tell me you are getting married in 5 months? Did that really happen? I'm not ready for this crazy shit. Traumatized.

 

Election 2012 - Final Thoughts Before the Polls

So, there have been many questions sent my way, mostly asking how I could vote for Obama, since he has ruined our country. That is what the emails say... the current President has RUINED our country. Who knew? Certainly not me. I live in Ohio. The state capital, so I am... privy to every political commercial, maneuver, trick, lie and ploy on a rotating basis. The metro areas of Ohio tend to vote Democratic, however the population of the outskirts LOVE the Republicans. Ohio has a LOT of electoral votes, so what happens here generally has an effect of every election. So, why would I use my vote to keep our President in the White House? Why not go the way of some of my friends and vote for Mitt? Why is Hot, Black and Bitter endorsing Barack Obama? Here are my final thoughts on this crazy election cycle:

I am a woman and I don't like men making decisions for me. I do not believe that MEN should affect my ability to see a doctor, get birth control, use my right to receive a safe abortion, receive equal pay for a job or give birth the way that I want to. There is no way that I would vote to put someone in the White House that could threaten my rights as a woman... and Mitt Romney does NOT represent my interests as a woman. (And neither do his little cronies-- remember the comments about rape from Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, Rick Santorum and Ron Paul.)

I have lots of friends who belong to the LGBT community. I do not want to see their rights get trampled on. I do not believe that if they have the right to marry, my rights are diminished. I will never allow for the rights of a community to be taken away and say nothing. I do not believe that you can judge someone because of who they love and would love to point at right now that 55 years ago, my boyfriend and I would be unable to marry, simply because we are different races. Why would I put that burden on someone else, or vote for someone who would do that?

I did not go into the Obama Administration thinking that Barack was going to be the savior of my people. There are some (Black) people who are not going to vote for Barack because in 2008 they were touting him as a savior for the Black community. I never suffered under that delusion. I knew there was a rough road ahead AND that his agenda would not be (and should not be) a Black agenda. I'm not mad... the United States is not only made up of Black people. But I certainly will NOT be voting for a person who seems to want Black people to retake their seats at the back of the bus.

I am an animal lover... and the story about Mitt strapping his dog, in a carrier, to the roof of the family car while on vacation was too much. If you cannot respect animals, you probably have limited amounts of respect for people who are helpless (temporarily or permanently). If you are unable to be sympathetic or empathetic to someone (or something) who can do nothing for you, I find it impossible to think that you can rule effectively-- especially in these dire economic times.

Speaking of dire economic times... I really don't want to start over with some new President that does NOT have a good economic record. Massachusetts does not have a great record under Mitt Romney... and now he wants to expand his plan to 50 states? No thank you.

I also don't believe that students should have to go into debt they will never be able to crawl out from under, simply to pay for college; health care should be aright afforded to all American citizens; social welfare programs, while needing a severe makeover, are absolutely necessary and should be used for the betterment of American citizens-- not done away with; and the economy should be dealt with immediately and which ever party refuses to work towards a better economy should be penalized harshly. Lastly, I firmly believe that I (personally) am better off than I was 4 years ago. Four years ago, I was unemployed and living in a house with a mortgage that was underwater. That is not the place I am in today. Do I want things to be better? Yes. Who do I think can get me to a better place? Barack Obama.


 

Soulful Saturday - Stephanie Mills

Hello early 90s! Ok, ok... some of these songs are from the 80s. Stephanie Mills has a very unique voice and I can't help it, every time I hear her sing I picture her as Dorothy in The Wiz. (She was amazing!) This is some classic,beautiful music. Where is Stephanie?!? I need her to come out with a new album, like yesterday!! Enjoy.

Never Knew Love Like This Before


Feel The Fire




I've Learned To Respect The Power of Love

(Um, this song playing means I will be singing at the top of my lungs... so be prepared)

** I need you; I want you beside me. I trust you; I believe in you. I adore you... I love you so**


I Feel Good All Over

**You and I have what lovers dream about.**

Election 2012 - Voting Rights

Exactly one week from today America will elect a President. I have been following the election coverage, the debates, the gaffs, the lies and everything in between; and have purposely remained silent as it has played out. Well, I can't say that I have remained completely silent. If you follow on Twitter or Facebook, then you know how I lean politically. Hell, if you go back to the 2008 posts, I am sure that my political leanings are evident. As a newly (re)minted Ohioan, I realize exactly how important an impact I have on this election, personally. I realize that some people think that voting is a conspiracy of some sort. With the ability to spout "opinions" all over the internet, via facebook, twitter, blogs, instagram, etc. I have seen so many of the following: "My vote doesn't count", "I'm not voting for either of these morons"...

Here in Hot, Black and Bitter land the act of NOT voting is NOT an option. With all that is going on in the world today, the LEAST I can do is vote... and I will. As I look back on the history of the United States, I do see (and take to heart) the sacrifices that have been made so that I can go to a polling place and cast my ballot for the candidate that I believe will attempt to fight for my best interests. I know that it was not so long ago that I, as a Black woman, would not have been able to cast my vote. I know that people have given the ultimate sacrifice (soldiers, protesters, extraordinary people living their daily lives) so that next Tuesday I can wait in line and vote for the President of the United States.

 I will make sure that I honor that sacrifice next week. Gladly, I will wait in line (coffee in hand) so that I can do my patriotic duty. Pictures will be taken. Hey-- I LOVE those 'I voted' stickers they give out. What can I say? :)

 I have also seen several news outlets that have given their recommendations for who to vote for. Here in Columbus, our (ONLY) newspaper, the Columbus Disappointment, er, Dispatch has endorsed Mitt Romney... um, because they are crazy. So, I am sure that I will use the posts to come to explain my pick, but here it is: Hot, Black and Bitter's endorsement for President: Barack Obama.


 

The Problem with Bullies

Last week, I watched the heartbreaking video that is below. I watched it because after this video was placed on YouTube; after this 15 year old girl poured out her heart in this silent film; after the bullying continued, Amanda Todd, the featured Canadian teenager, committed suicide to quiet the bullies that ran her life. Fifteen years old... she literally had the rest of her whole life, the best times of her life, ahead of her. She hadn't experience falling in love, high school graduation, college, marriage, her first real job, moving out of her parents' house, making her first car payment... you know those huge milestones. She won't ever get to see her 21st birthday or kiss her parents again.

 The problem with bullies is: no one thinks there is a problem until another child dies. No one screams until the bad behavior leads to a death of an innocent child. And even after the death of a child; a child who will miss out on all the things that we all look forward to, the comments on the video are inexcusable. People are so sensitive about things that they think affect them, but once they think a situation doesn't affect them, the compassion that any human SHOULD have, is gone. Our teenage years should not be about Survival of the Fittest... that is what adult life is for. Parents should not allow their children to torment kids that don't fit in. Children should be a little more gracious with each other... and you know where they would get that? Their parents.

 My thought is this: we all hold a hand in this and stories like Amanda Todd. We have all called someone out of their name, or tried to make their day harder than it needs to be. We have all made someone cry or feel bad. We have all been responsible for making at least one person feel less important, at some point in our lives and it in now everyones responsibility to make that portion of the "growing up" experience stop. It is unnecessary and only leads to more pain. Hurt people- at some point- hurt people. Nip the cycle in the bud. Talk to your children. Be Proactive.